I hope many people respond to me. If possible, a hug would be nice too.

Hello!

You've been to the Q&A Hall many times. You've learned a lot about yourself! You know what you lack and what you want. Good for you!

Accept your emotions and your current state.

You don't feel secure and you want someone to love you and keep you company.

Many people have these thoughts, including me. It's brave to admit this!

Then feel and experience it! At the same time, give your feelings and emotions.

Give this feeling a space to stay. Do your own thing.

Let things happen and do what you want.

My dear, letting things take their course does not mean doing nothing. If you can't sleep, accept it. I couldn't sleep either, so I got up and did what I wanted to do. I picked out 100 books that interested me. Focus on the things you want to do. Your resistance will make things worse.

Change requires knowledge and action.

Most people know a lot of truths but still have trouble getting through life. This is because these truths are only at the conscious level, which doesn't bring about change. But when you experience knowledge and methods slowly, you will form your own thoughts and insights.

This knowledge becomes our wisdom over time. It changes our energy and outlook.

The next part is about feeling secure.

Regular life and exercise.

Do one small thing every day and give yourself positive feedback. For example, after I go for a run, I watch an animated movie and write about my feelings.

Try to give something to others. It doesn't have to be much. You can say thank you to the waiter after each order. Greet the property management or neighbors when going up or down the stairs.

Greetings bring closeness, belonging, and a sense of worthiness.

Take courses to learn and grow.

If you don't feel secure, take a course on feeling secure. If you have relationship issues, take a course on relationships. Everyone is there to learn and grow. No one will judge or accuse you. You can speak your mind, and everyone will respond warmly. This is a more effective way to improve the current situation.

I hope my answer helps. I love you!

I'm a listener. You said you hope many people respond to you. A hug would be nice.

People have already hugged you, and I'm coming to hug you too.

It's a visual feeling. You feel wrapped in a warm embrace and moved to tears.

I was moved first!

Many teachers have already answered your questions. I would like to share my thoughts.

Everyone is unique. We have a lot in common, but we are also different. Your intimate partner is there to help you. Your intimate relationship helps you understand your inner desires, cravings, and unfulfilled love from your childhood.

Then wait for clues to appear.

One day, you'll understand this and be able to repair yourself. You'll discover that the greatest gift you can give yourself is unconditional love.

No matter what, there is no good or bad emotion. We just chase after comfortable emotions and avoid uncomfortable ones.

But these uncomfortable emotions can make us change how we see our emotions.

First, accept yourself. Then, ask yourself what your feelings are trying to tell you.

Discovering the truth helps you find yourself.

The movie "The Quiet Revolution" says, "We spend our whole lives trying to become our true selves!"

I hope my answer will bring a smile to your face.

It is natural to want to be noticed, loved, and interacted with first, especially when you are in love.

On the other hand, it's worth considering whether we can always respond to others immediately. Even if we can respond to someone in time, it's important to think about how we can best support everyone else.

It's also worth noting that the other person may have a different style than we do, and they may not feel the same way about us as we do about them. They may not always have the energy to wait by the phone for your messages. So, it might be helpful to adjust our expectations to be a bit more realistic.

If you like him, it might be worth saying so. It may or may not work out, but it's certainly better than not saying anything. If you want him to respond, it might be helpful to say so too. Perhaps you could explore together and find a solution that is acceptable to both of you.

If you can guess what I'm thinking without me saying anything, then you might be being a bit presumptuous. People in love are often overwhelmed by their mutual affection, but it's not always easy to be completely in sync with each other.

It seems that the questioner may be lacking in a sense of being loved. This could be a psychological shadow left over from childhood, which might be relieved by reviewing and reshaping childhood experiences. It's possible that this could also help resolve the resulting insecurity and entanglement with other people.

I hope you can look at the problems you encounter in a positive way, rather than always trying to find a way out of a dead end to torment yourself. I believe that may not be the most helpful approach.

I believe that being lively and cheerful will bring us a lot of happiness, fun, and friendship. I also think that overly calculating the temporary gains and losses might not be the best approach.

I wish you all the best in your future endeavors. May you find happiness, love, and friendship along the way.

Good day, question asker.

I am a simple individual with no concerns, and it is my hope that I can alleviate your worries.

After reviewing your experience, I would like to extend my support and encouragement.

I would like to take this opportunity to offer some of my views and suggestions, which I hope will be of assistance to you.

Let us first examine the precise issue that the questioner is facing.

In close relationships, a lot of my painful feelings come to the surface, and I also crave relationships and hope for a high concentration of close relationships. I crave being spoiled and being the only one in the world.

Firstly, it is evident that the questioner should be a child who desires love and affection. It is beneficial to be loved, and it is acceptable if this is not the case.

I am seeking the experience of being the sole recipient of preferential treatment. How should I phrase this? In a friendship context, it is typical for individuals to have a primary and secondary best friend. One's primary best friend may be closer to them, but they may also have a secondary best friend with whom they are equally close.

This is all normal. I would like to clarify that I am not saying, "I'm only good with you."

If you are currently in a relationship, there is no cause for concern. It is only a matter of time before you meet someone who is exclusively interested in you. Love is patient.

After studying and being in contact for an extended period, I have come to recognize that this is not the case. However, my expectations remain fixed on a particular outcome, while failing to acknowledge the other person's autonomy. There is a strong element of control, with the hope that he can emulate my desired level of proximity and intimacy. I have also observed that I frequently revert to this pattern without realizing it.

First and foremost, it is imperative that we learn to love ourselves and alter our focus. It is an unfortunate reality that when the value we offer is not commensurate with the value we receive, it is only natural that we will experience feelings of sadness and disappointment.

If the individual in question is someone you value, it is not necessary to be concerned with who contributes more or less. Focusing on such details may lead to unhappiness. If you have a positive regard for someone, it is advisable to express it. If you treat me well, I will treat you even better.

It is inadvisable to measure everything.

Due to a lack of response from him last night and the absence of a goodnight message, I experienced a sense of unease. I proceeded to fall asleep, but was awake early in the morning, still feeling uneasy with my emotions heightened.

It is possible that you are engaged in an activity, or perhaps you are experiencing fatigue, which results in you falling asleep. This is a common occurrence in my own relationship. We are often so tired that we fall asleep while talking on the phone. There are occasions when we are occupied until late at night and simply go to bed. On some nights, we do not get to respond to messages in a timely manner, but my partner does not become angry. Instead, he provides me with a detailed account of his activities.

Because he is aware that I am asleep. Therefore, as long as it is not done intentionally, there is no need to be overly concerned.

I am experiencing feelings of unease and difficulty in being alone. I am hopeful that I will be seen and kept. I am optimistic that a gentle force will accompany me for a while, so that when my energy returns, I can cope and adjust on my own.

First and foremost, it is essential to learn to love oneself and prioritize one's own needs. It is beneficial to engage in activities that are more fulfilling and less preoccupying.

It would be beneficial to engage in activities that keep you occupied, such as getting a manicure or going shopping.

In conclusion, I would like to present my views and suggestions. I am aware that the answer may not be particularly effective or professional, but I hope it will be of some assistance to you.

Best regards,

I believe that hugs are not about the quantity, but the quality. Similarly, I feel that love and intimacy are not about the quantity, but the quality and stability.

All things considered, I am inclined to support your desire to be embraced.

First, there is a desire to be noticed, to be seen, and even more so, to be loved and to have a close connection with someone. Perhaps, in this desire, it doesn't really matter who the other person is, as long as they are passable-looking and can care for me all the time.

I'm not sure if this is the best way to phrase it.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to consider a more proactive approach, such as maintaining control, responding promptly, and being on call 24 hours a day, like a full-service luxury room. This approach has proven effective in the past and may be worth exploring further.

It may be challenging to be with someone all the time. I'm not sure if that's the right approach.

Third, consider how you would feel if you were in his situation. If you were to experience being suffocated for an extended period, how would you respond? It's likely you would find it unpleasant.

Perhaps, though, all of this is a bit selfish and self-centered, starting with you.

It is important to remember that even if a person loves their wife or husband, has a happy family, and a successful career, their soul and heart will always remain mature and independent. It is now time to focus on becoming more independent and strong.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that you may be experiencing pain and weakness, despite your repeated mention of the contrary. It might be beneficial to explore this further.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to consider that one can only come back if they charge themselves, rather than relying on others.

I have a lot to share with you. You might find it interesting to check out my homepage on Whale, where I have written several articles on intimacy. I hope you will find them thought-provoking.

If you don't mind, I would like to kindly request your attention.

I hope this message finds you well. I am a young man (ID: qingnianJIA2020) who is interested in maintaining communication with you.

Yi Xinli We kindly invite you to visit the following platforms for further assistance: Answering Questions Hall Mutual Aid Community, World, and I Love You >> https://m.xinli001.com/qa

Hello!

Hugs!

I am a heart exploration coach, and learning is the treasure of the body!

From your description, I can feel your inner anxiety, worry, pain, and longing for love and response—and I can help you with all of it!

I won't go into the details of your frustration at not getting more responses, but I will give you three pieces of advice that I think you'll find really helpful!

I have a great suggestion for you! Try to accept your current state.

Doing so will make your mind feel slightly easier, which will help you think about what to do next!

You said that you especially long for a high concentration of intimacy and to be spoiled. This expectation has always been there in you, and it is actually understandable in your situation, because the desire to love and be loved is one of the basic needs of every human being. Perhaps you rarely felt that unique feeling of being full of yourself when you were young, so now you desperately long for someone to respond to you and spoil you. At the same time, you also understand that when you strongly desire this, you will ignore the other person's existence as an independent person, and there will be a strong sense of control. But you can't control it for the time being, and this state of mind is also understandable, because human growth is a process that takes time. So you have to try to accept your own state, which will give you the extra mental energy to think about other things, otherwise your brain will always be filled with various negative emotions.

And the best part is, allowing yourself to try to accept your current situation will make it possible to promote change in the status quo! It may sound contradictory, but that's the way it is because change is based on allowing for no change.

Second, I suggest you take a good, rational look at your situation.

Because rational thinking is the key to understanding yourself and reality!

To gain a rational view of the situation, you simply need to do two simple things:

The first thing you need to do is understand that intimacy is the best state of a relationship!

You also noticed this in your description, which is great because you said that when you always expect the other person to respond to you at all times, there is a strong sense of control involved. But you also know that in that way you are neglecting the other person's existence as an independent person, which is something you can easily change!

In other words, the state you describe—the desire for many people to respond to you and to be seen—is totally possible! It might be a bit tricky to achieve, but it's definitely worth it. After all, you need the other person to respond to you according to your needs.

And the best state of a relationship is intimacy!

Second, get this: the status quo can be changed because you can change!

When you put your mind to it, you can change your inner state and your relationship with others will change right along with it!

In other words, you absolutely have to try to look inward and start by changing yourself!

When you look at it rationally like this, you'll be amazed at how some of those negative emotions inside you can be resolved!

I've got another great suggestion for you! Focus on yourself and think about what you can do to feel better.

When you take a good, honest look at your own state, you may also know what to do. At this point, you focus on yourself and give it your all to do a good job!

For example, you can try to find out when the feeling of wanting to be spoiled started, and then make changes based on the cause. I suspect that it may have something to do with your experiences as a child. At this point, you can tell yourself that you are now an adult with knowledge and experience, and you are very likely to be able to meet your own needs. When you change your way of thinking in this way, your inner feelings may likely become more relaxed. This is an exciting time! You have the power to change your life for the better.

Another great way to resolve negative emotions is to have a good chat with the other person. When you chat calmly and without emotion or judgment, you can express your needs. The other person may tell you that some needs can be met, while others may not be. This kind of sincere communication can create some space in your relationship, which will in turn lead to a positive direction. For example, you can tell the other person how you feel about not being said goodnight to. Then, they may tell you why they didn't. This kind of honest communication will help you to resolve your inner concerns. You may feel that if the other person doesn't respond to you in time, they will leave you. Or, you may feel that you are not good enough to be loved. But, that's not the case! They are just tired or have forgotten. In this way, you will slowly gain new experiences. Even if it turns out that they really don't love you, you will know that you are very likely to be able to cope. You are unique and good enough, and you are worth loving!

You can also try to love yourself, pamper yourself, and seek inwardly. You said that you want the other person to treat you the way you treat him, a passionate and close relationship. Now you try to treat yourself that way first, that is, respond to yourself, see yourself. When you learn to love yourself like this, you will not only be able to accept yourself and meet your own needs, but also be able to love others well, because only when a person first learns to love themselves can they love others well. In this way, your relationship will not be a state of control and being controlled, but a healthy state of mutual respect, mutual understanding, and intimacy; and so on. In short, you must know that you can do something to improve the current situation, and you can do it!

Once you start taking action, you'll be amazed at how quickly all those negative emotions start to disappear! It's incredible how action can be the best way to beat those negative feelings.

I really hope my answer helps you! If you want to chat some more, just click on "Find a Coach" at the bottom and I'll be in touch!

My dear, you should be a girl, right?

It's so great that you're hoping to get lots of responses from people! It just goes to show how much love you need. I really hope you can get a hug, maybe even like when you were little and you were in your mother's gentle embrace, feeling all warm and loved, and being lifted high in your father's strong arms!

When you say these hopes, I feel that you may have missed out on the love and security you deserve from your parents when you were young.

Please, let me give you a hug!

From now on, I'll use my heart to feel your pain and love you word by word.

I've been here lots of times, and most of the time it's been about emotional relationships and stuff like that.

You've come by so many times, which is the same as saying you need a lot of responses.

It just goes to show how full of hope your heart is, that you can come here so many times!

I really hope you'll gain something every time you come here!

It's totally normal to have emotional issues at this stage. It's likely that you're re-experiencing your relationship with your parents as a child.

In an intimate relationship, I tend to bring up a lot of my painful feelings, and I also have an extraordinary desire for a relationship and a high concentration of close relationships.

It's totally normal for intimate relationships to bring up memories of our childhood relationships with our parents. You want a high degree of intimacy, which is totally understandable, but perhaps you felt too little love from your parents as a child.

It's natural to want to be loved in an intimate relationship. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that!

We all want to feel special and unique, and being pampered is a great way to do that.

If you want to be pampered and feel like a unique individual, it shows that you want to be the most important person in the eyes of your partner in an intimate relationship. We all want to feel loved and special in a relationship!

This might be a sign that you haven't felt valued by your parents since you were a child.

After studying and being in a relationship for so long, I know that this is not the case, but I still have these expectations. I tend to ignore the other person's existence as an independent person, and I do want to be in control. I hope that he can be as passionate and close to me as I hope.

It seems like you've been learning a lot about intimate relationships and psychology!

It's so important to remember that there's no such thing as a sole favor, that everyone is an independent individual, and that in an intimate relationship, it's best to let your partner be themselves. If you try to control the relationship or push your partner to be intimate with you in a way that isn't comfortable for them, it can really affect their sense of self-worth and make them feel suffocated.

However, it's good to keep in mind that your expectations can always be there, but try not to hold him so tightly. This way, the other person can breathe freely and be by your side all the time.

I've also noticed that I often find myself slipping back into that pattern without even realizing it. It's a constant back-and-forth, isn't it?

Until you and your partner are on the same page, these patterns will keep coming up.

It's totally normal to feel a bit unsure in close relationships after years of building up mistrust. It's not something that can be fixed overnight, but with a little patience and understanding, you can start to rebuild that trust again.

Hey there! I just wanted to remind you that even if you find yourself slipping into an old pattern, you still have the opportunity to get out of it. The more you do this over and over, the more likely it is that a new pattern will replace the old one. You've got this!

I was a little worried because you didn't respond to me last night and didn't say goodnight. I went to sleep and woke up early in the morning, feeling a bit uneasy. I was feeling all my emotions, you know?

It's totally normal to feel this way when there's no response from your partner and no goodnight kiss. It's natural to start wondering if they don't love you anymore, if they have other ideas, or if you're being ignored and abandoned.

When you have these thoughts, it can be really helpful to express them.

I know it can be really hard, but can you give your partner a chance to clarify and dispel your doubts and unease?

It's so helpful to turn your thoughts into words! This gives your emotions a direction and your heart a place to belong.

I'm feeling a bit uneasy and find it tough to be on my own. I'd love to be seen and taken care of with a gentle strength to stick by me for a while. When I'm feeling better, I'll be able to cope and adjust on my own. Thanks so much!

When it feels difficult to feel loved, don't worry! You can rely on the balance, communication, understanding, and support in your intimate relationship, and you can also come here many times to let many people see you, hold you, and walk with you with gentle but firm strength.

When you feel the energy of blessing, you'll feel full of love and security. And you'll bring these wonderful feelings to your intimate relationship, which will benefit both of you!

My dear, there are so many people in this world, both known and unknown, who love you and really hope you can feel it!

Hi, I'm Yan Guilai, your friendly counselor! I wish you all the happiness in the world!

Hello! I'm sending you a hug.

I'm happy to help.

From what you said, I can tell you want to be loved, understood, accepted, and supported. Everyone wants these things.

Don't feel guilty or ashamed just because you have needs and they haven't been met. Needs are not shameful. What is shameful is when you suppress your needs and then harm yourself or others.

What do you think?

You know yourself best. Only you can meet your needs. If you have unmet needs, try to meet them yourself.

In relationships, how we treat ourselves affects how others treat us.

Treat yourself the way you want to be treated in a relationship. If you want to be accepted, respected, valued, cared for, accompanied, and loved, treat yourself that way. Know your feelings and don't hide them. Try to accept your emotions and understand what they mean. Then, you can respond to them in a way that satisfies your needs.

You can also keep an emotional diary to record your feelings. This is a safe way to express, release, and talk to yourself. It's also a way to care for yourself.

When you have the energy to support yourself, what do you do? How do you feel? Can you record and practice this?

There are many other ways to take care of yourself. Try things that make you feel calm and happy. For example, read books, do yoga, go jogging, or keep a diary.

Love yourself and others.

I love you!

Dear questioner,

Hello!

I'm a platform-based listening therapist, and thanks for your question!

First of all, I want to give you a big hug! It's great that you can express what you want!

At the end of the day, we all want to be loved and noticed, to be unique to the other person.

From what you've told me, it's clear you have high expectations when it comes to intimacy. You want others to be as open and affectionate as you are. But you're also aware that your expectations aren't always met. You feel trapped in a cycle of disappointment. You crave attention and a sense of being held. You're hoping that the gentle power will accompany you through this period.

I can see you're feeling a bit helpless. You feel like it's tough to be alone, even when you're really craving company. But I can also see that you haven't given up on your expectations, even in the toughest times.

All your expectations – to be seen, to be held, to be accompanied by the power of gentleness – are about recharging your own energy. You believe that when your energy returns, you can handle it and adjust to it yourself.

It seems like when you're tapping into your own energy, you're also tapping into your expectations of others. You're placing more of your expectations on others.

Why is that?

1. You've had experiences in the past where many of your inner desires weren't fulfilled. Now, in your subconscious mind, you're hoping that the relationship you're currently experiencing will fulfill those unfulfilled desires.

2. A lack of self-confidence, which makes it difficult to believe that you can arouse your own energy.

What should I do?

1. Think back on your past experiences. What unfulfilled desires are affecting you? What do you really want for yourself? Maybe you want to be loved, noticed, or valued.

There are lots of ways to get what you want. Learn to love yourself to feel satisfied. When you love yourself enough, your inner energy will grow stronger.

2. Think about the anxiety you've experienced and how you've overcome the difficulties on your own. No matter who has given you strength, you're the one who has to face difficulties after all. You've walked all the way on your own, step by step, and believed in yourself. You're the most important person to truly arouse your own energy.

I hope this helps!