I like someone, but I feel inferior in front of him. How do I adjust my mentality?

Good morning, dear questioner.

I truly hope for world peace. After listening to your description, I realized that I also have a favorite doctor, although I can't really say I like him. Later, I thought it might be more of an admiration. If it's not too much trouble, I'd like to share my story with you first.

I had a minor operation, and he was my attending physician. Before the first examination, I did a lot of mental preparation, but when I saw the doctor, I was still a bit apprehensive about the possibility of having a challenging illness to treat. He sensed my nervousness and used some lighthearted sentences to describe my illness and treatment plan.

I was in the hospital for seven days. I remember the day of the operation. On the surface, I appeared calm, but inside, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. The nurses were preparing for the operation, and I was lying under the operating lamp, counting the number of small lights. The nurse took my glasses away, and I saw a doctor come in vaguely. I glanced at him, and he seemed to sense my gaze. We just had a brief, fleeting eye contact, and I didn't even get a chance to see his face properly. I just felt that it was him. The operation ended smoothly. I later checked the information and confirmed that he was the one who operated on me.

On the day following the operation, I was unable to speak and appeared rather unwell. He inquired about a few simple matters and then took his leave.

On the third day, he kindly requested that I visit the outpatient clinic to let him see how I was recovering. I even expressed my reservations about the doctor's approach. While it's common for doctors to visit patients in hospitals, it's not always convenient for patients to track them down. Despite my initial reservations, I changed out of my loose hospital gown and tied a ponytail before going to see him. I remember that the indwelling needle in my hand bled because I tied my hair, but at that time, I was simply hoping to present myself in the best way possible to see him.

I thoroughly enjoyed our time together and found our conversations quite pleasant. However, I must admit that I lack experience as a patient. He encouraged me to ask him anything I wanted, but I was unsure what to inquire about. Nevertheless, I made an effort to dress nicely for our brief meetings.

Upon my discharge from the hospital and subsequent follow-up appointment, I observed that he addressed other patients in a similar manner. This led me to conclude that his use of humor was merely a professional tactic, and that I was regarded as just another patient. He never made an effort to remember the feeling of eye contact, nor did he deliberately dress up just to see me. He consistently maintained his role as the doctor.

I hope my story has provided you with some insight. I just want to reiterate that every girl has the right to like someone and the opportunity to be liked. It's worth enjoying the feeling of becoming better for the person you want to see.

It's only natural to have negative emotions. It's healthy to let off steam, and a little negativity can even help you communicate better. It's unlikely that someone would hate you for it.

In the story, I only experienced my own turmoil, and he never stirred a ripple. It wasn't because he was heartless; it was because I magnified my feelings and projected them onto his. In fact, he didn't know anything. So, sister, outsiders cannot feel all of your emotions, only a part of them. I don't know how you and your favorite doctor met, but perhaps you should relax. You don't need to feel that he's staring at you, and you might want to avoid projecting your emotions onto him.

If you like him, and if you don't have his contact information, you might consider asking for it. If you have his contact information, you could go and chat with him and exchange ideas. The doctor has his professional charm, and you may also discover his personal charm. Perhaps the two of you will have something in common and exchange ideas, and you'll have your answer.

I would gently encourage you not to be self-conscious. Girls can be wonderful in so many ways, and they can be soft and sweet or cool. I believe in your charm, and I hope you will too.

Hello!

I can feel the emotional swings you feel because of your inferiority complex in front of the boy you like. Your heart is full of conflict, worry, and pain. But you can get through this! Hug me!

The first step is to learn how to regulate your emotions!

Understanding emotions is a fascinating process. Emotions change with thoughts, environment, events, etc., so it is actually quite normal for everyone to experience emotional fluctuations.

It's so important to regulate your emotions and keep them in a basically stable state! The good news is that you can do this by accepting that you have a variety of emotions and being more understanding and tolerant of yourself.

The second is to learn some healthy techniques for regulating emotions, such as through breathing meditation, exercise, listening to music, doing things you like, or talking to friends. These techniques will help you to vent your emotions in a reasonable way and to guide them properly.

And there's more! When you're feeling down, it's best not to make any decisions or judge yourself. This is because when you're in a bad mood, you tend to view problems and yourself with emotion, which often affects the comprehensiveness and objectivity of your thinking.

2. Don't idealize the other person too much — it's great to have high standards!

The reason you feel a deep inferiority complex in front of the other person is because you idealize them to a large extent. When a girl secretly likes a boy, it is very easy to imagine the other person as perfect and ideal, and feel that she is not worthy of the other person. People who like to idealize others are actually less adept at accepting themselves, so they project their perfect imagination of themselves onto others, which in turn deepens their inferiority complex. But here's the good news! You can change this pattern. You can start accepting yourself just as you are. And you can stop projecting your perfect imagination of yourself onto others. This will help you to feel more confident and worthy of the other person.

3. Go on an exciting journey of self-discovery and growth! Develop authentic, intimate relationships with yourself and others.

If you want to develop a real, intimate relationship, you still have to establish a practical connection in reality. It's the only way to make it work! If you only stay at the level of similarity or imagination, you may as well be wasting your energy, and everything will be like a mirage.

Psychologically speaking, everyone's state in an intimate relationship is similar to their relationship with their parents or significant caregivers in their early years. The good news is that you can change this! If they did not receive sufficient encouragement and support from their parents during childhood and do not feel secure, they will easily lack confidence and have a low sense of self-worth in an intimate relationship. But you can help them change this!

If you'd like, you can talk to a counselor about this part of yourself. It's a great way to gain a deeper understanding of yourself, understand your own thinking patterns, your inner need for intimacy, gain more self-growth, and be able to better develop your own intimate relationships in reality!

I really hope the reply from Hongyu helps you! Thank you so much for asking!

Dear questioner, I am here to answer your question.

You are a 22-year-old woman in the prime of your youth, ready to fall in love and embrace a beautiful love. You have fallen for a male doctor. From your behavior, it's clear you're a deeply affectionate young woman who, once in love, will fall deeply in love.

You like him a lot, so you fear losing him and worry about him not liking you. You've even labeled yourself with negative labels, such as "a trash group," "a negative emotion group," and "a trouble group."

Many of us have negative labels, such as gluttony, fragility, and emotionality, which we want to change. The more we emphasize the problem, the more we reinforce it. It will undoubtedly seem very difficult to solve them all. But we can do this.

We should make friends with problems.

01

If you focus only on problems and negative emotions, you're making people feel powerless. People are used to labeling their enemies and focusing on problems.

Let's take an example. When you have emotions, you feel that you can't take care of yourself well. This leads to more negative emotions. You focus all your energy on the negative emotion of not being able to take care of yourself well. It's difficult for you to think that you have also been able to take care of yourself well. This is the way of thinking that focuses on problems. When something happens, you first look for the cause to see where the problem lies. You think that everything will be fine once you solve the problem. The advantage of this is that it can quickly understand the situation. It gives people a sense of stability. You feel that you are one step closer to solving the problem. Very often, after attaching a negative label, you do not solve the problem. You condemn the problem and condemn yourself for how bad it is. This makes you very internally consuming.

Narrative therapy is clear: human narratives have power. When we focus our narratives on one side of a story, that side becomes stronger and stronger. If a person always tells a story with negative emotional content, the label of negative emotion will grow larger and larger, and then stick to you firmly. You may mistakenly believe that condemning yourself is equivalent to working hard to deal with the problem and you are one step closer to solving it. But the truth is that long-term self-condemnation will make people's hearts become more and more fragile and powerless, and a broken and weak heart cannot support people to become better.

Let's be clear: self-condemnation is addictive. It creates a vicious circle: your own negative emotions make you feel bad, and feeling guilty helps to relieve the guilt. Long-term self-blame will strike at the heart, making people powerless to change. Because they cannot change, they will feel guilty again, start blaming themselves again, and in the process, negative emotions become stronger, while human strength becomes weaker. Therefore, if people who are in a state of being blamed for a long time always remain stagnant, they will remain in a state of being stuck. When we look at things using a problem-focused model, labels are constructed. At this time, the more you hold a solution-oriented attitude, the more hostile your relationship with negative emotions becomes, becoming irreconcilable. This is why your negative emotions and low self-esteem will get worse and worse.

02

Let your negative emotions and inferiority complexes flow.

You might ask, "Am I not clearly emotional and low in self-esteem? Do I have to insist that I don't have these problems? Wouldn't that be lying to myself?"

It is essential to be honest with oneself. Denying the existence of problems is futile. Instead of trying to forcefully suppress negative emotions and feelings of inferiority, we should strive to understand them better.

For example, in ancient times, when people went to war, they would say that the other person was cunning and insidious, while they themselves were resourceful and clever. In fact, these are the same thing, which means that one thing can have two or even multiple sides. Here is a method from narrative therapy: add a positive adjective prefix to your negative emotions and self-doubt. For example, the negative emotion of rubbish, the self-doubt of annoying. There are other negative emotions, and we will find them.

This is not an inferiority complex that expects perfection. It is a negative emotion with a sense of responsibility. It is a feeling that you are responsible for your own emotions. You may feel that this is not good because an inferiority complex should be changed. Indeed, an inferiority complex reminds you to reflect on yourself constantly. It is also reflective, reminding you to become better. We have discovered that negative emotions and inferiority complexes are different. At the beginning, we regarded it as a group of rubbish and troubles. We wanted to smash it because it was blocking the way.

This is the problem perspective, which will establish a hostile relationship between you and negative emotions. However, you will discover that there is not just one way to narrate negative emotions and low self-esteem. There are other ways: low self-esteem that expects perfection and low self-esteem that reminds people to reflect. You will find that negative emotions and low self-esteem become softer, take on more shapes, and even become fluid.

By narrating other aspects of procrastination, we can make him more positive, decrease our condemnation of him, and even show appreciation. We are not trying to eliminate the problem; we are trying to coexist with it. When there is no opposition between people and labels, we have the opportunity to accept him.

This is what we call "finding resources."

03

Love yourself with your resources.

Resources are the most powerful parts of ourselves. We can face difficulties with confidence because we have strengths and resources. But if we dwell on problems, we lose sight of these things.

You may also realize that your negative emotions and inferiority actually serve a function. For example, if you really love this male doctor, you may confess your love to him. After you fail and are rejected, you can think, "It's not that he doesn't like me, it's just that I have too many negative emotions and I'm inferior." This can help you alleviate the anxiety of not being loved.

It is important to understand that paying attention to problems and finding resources are not opposites. In fact, resources often complement problems. When we acknowledge both, we can view problems from a more comprehensive perspective. It is crucial to recognize that inferiority is not good and has disadvantages. The appropriate approach is to acknowledge the problem and find resources.

Find your own resources and love yourself. When you are in an atmosphere of self-love, you will become more powerful. Use this power to show that male doctor how lovely you are. He will be amazed by you.

I hope my answer helps. I wish you a happy life.

Hello, host! I really hope my answer can help you in some way.

As a human being, you absolutely have to have some negative emotions! If you don't have any emotions or worries, that would be quite abnormal.

It's important to remember that it's okay to have negative emotions. We shouldn't feel bad about it or think we're inferior just because we feel a certain way. It's totally normal! And here's another thing: if we constantly try to hide our true feelings from our partner, we might miss out on the chance to have a truly happy relationship. The best relationships are the ones where we're true to ourselves and our partner accepts us for who we are. That's when the relationship is at its best and lasts the longest!

I've got some great advice for you!

Embrace the fact that you will have negative emotions and use methods to reconcile with yourself.

As I just said, everyone has negative emotions, and all emotions have a function. If we deliberately suppress our emotions and don't allow our negative emotions to flow and express themselves, it will do us harm and make us even more unstable. But there is a way to release these emotions and make space for positive ones! For example, when someone is very sad, and suppresses their sadness, then their sadness will not actually go away, but will be hidden in the subconscious, and will erupt at the right moment, and the intensity will be even stronger. But we can also choose to release these emotions and make space for positive ones!

So, don't repress or resist your negative emotions! Accept that you will have negative emotions, and remember that you're not alone. Even many well-known figures in the psychology world experience negative emotions. Take Ms. Zhang Defen, for example. She gets angry in certain situations, but that doesn't make her a bad person. It just means that her needs haven't been met. This is something we can work through together. When we unblock this part of ourselves, we'll be less prone to emotional swings.

And there's more! In addition to being aware of the needs and reasons behind our emotions, we also need to regularly adopt ways to release and channel our emotions. For example, when you are particularly angry, you can go and punch a pillow or a sandbag to release your inner aggression. When you feel very sad, you can find a trusted friend to talk to about your distress and feel their support. You can make meditation a habit, and long-term meditation will make you more peaceful!

2. Get to know your own thinking patterns and limiting beliefs. Then, make some tweaks to your thinking patterns and establish some positive beliefs!

You said that when you have negative emotions, you feel that you can't take care of yourself well, and you get a lot of negative emotions. At this time, you feel that he doesn't like you, that he thinks you are annoying because you have negative emotions, and that you are a worthless person. But guess what? These thoughts are exactly what make us avoid seeing him when we are emotional. What we are afraid of is that he won't accept this negative emotional self of ours. But in fact, it is we ourselves who don't accept this side of ourselves. This is the influence of the projection effect on us. When we don't like ourselves, we also think that other people don't like this side of ourselves. But is this really the case? Absolutely not!

The truth is often much more fascinating than what we initially think!

The good news is that we can adjust our own thinking patterns and beliefs through the influence of the projection effect, and transform negative beliefs into positive ones. The first step is to accept this real self with negative emotions. When you can accept this self, when you can allow yourself to have negative emotions, and even if you have negative emotions, you like yourself, not reject yourself, then you will not be so afraid that he will not like this you anymore, or even if he really doesn't like you, you will not be so sad and unable to accept it. Because you have already accepted yourself, it is not so important whether others accept you or not. However, if you don't accept yourself, you will pay special attention to whether others accept and like you.

So, you need to tell yourself: I may have negative emotions sometimes, and I may have worries, but I still accept and love myself! And I know he will like this real me too!

3. Be true to yourself and you'll experience a happy, intimate relationship!

In fact, when every intimate relationship begins, we hope to show our best side to the other person. And you know what? If we are always very demanding on ourselves in the relationship and always try to present ourselves as perfect, we will be very tired and the relationship will not last long. So let's try something different! Let's be our most authentic selves in a relationship and see what happens!

And the best part is, when we can be our most authentic selves in a relationship, we will feel more at ease, and the other person will accept this real you! Your relationship will become more stable and happy.

So, there is absolutely no need to hide your inadequacies and shortcomings. Everyone is imperfect, including your favorite male doctor. He must also have negative emotions and other shortcomings. It is precisely because we are not perfect that we need relationships in which we support and nourish each other. So, if you are a perfect being and you have no negative emotions, the other person will not even have a chance to take care of you, right? A good relationship is not one in which you don't need each other's help. A good relationship is one in which you can help each other and meet each other's needs.

So, when you have negative emotions, it's a great idea to see him! You can even talk to him about your worries and express your need for his understanding and help. And if he can really help you, he'll be thrilled! It shows that you trust and recognize him, and he'll feel valued and important.

I hope these suggestions are helpful for you! Wishing you the best!

You like him! Congratulations on falling in love.

I'd call this worry a happy worry. Many people can't fall in love.

Fallin' in love shows you have a rich set of emotions and the ability to love and be loved. Everyone has different tasks to complete at different ages. At 22, it's about forming close relationships to avoid loneliness. So, you've started falling in love and loving, which is great!

Next, let's look at your relationship with the guy. What makes you happy?

You feel like you're not taking care of yourself when you're emotional or upset. You're worried that guys won't like you because of this. You're worried that guys will reject you because you have negative emotions and you're not capable of dealing with them.

You are intolerant of your negative emotions. You also internalize them, thinking they are caused by your inability to deal with them. This makes you feel inferior.

We all get upset sometimes and experience negative emotions. These emotions need to be seen, understood, and accepted. When you are upset, you can pause and name the emotion you are feeling.

Naming your emotions slows down their effect.

Think about why you're feeling sad, angry, or anxious. When you know why you're feeling this way, you can understand your emotions better. This will help you not to feel upset for no reason.

Finally, let's look at your relationship with men. It seems that you can only be liked if you're a good boy who doesn't need anyone. If you show any emotion, you become unlovable.

I don't know about your upbringing, but you are beautiful and emotional at 22. You are worth being liked and loved! This guy is not your caregiver. If he loves you, he will accept you.

I wish you love and happiness!

Currently, I am in the phase of secret love. It is a positive experience to develop feelings for someone without openly expressing them.

There is no inherent problem with liking someone.

Let us now turn our attention to the emotional aspects of the situation. When one develops an affinity for another individual, it is not uncommon to experience a kind of halo effect, whereby one's perception of that person is elevated to a state of unquestioning admiration.

He exudes a positive, inspiring energy. It's natural to feel a bit inferior in comparison.

These feelings are to be expected.

When I am experiencing difficulties, I feel as though I am unable to care for myself adequately. I am experiencing a range of negative emotions, and I am fearful of him. I hold myself in low regard, to the same extent that I would hold garbage in contempt.

1. This appears to be a self-critical sentiment.

It is important to note that negative feelings are not conducive to positive outcomes. It is therefore essential to maintain a positive outlook and take steps to ensure personal wellbeing. The expectation to be pleasing to others is also a key factor to consider.

2. Additionally, there is an underlying expectation that unconditional acceptance will be received from him.

I am seeking comfort from him.

I am concerned that if I express my true feelings to him about needing comfort, he may view me unfavorably.

3. I am dissatisfied with my own performance and wish to present myself in a positive light in front of him. At the same time, I desire his support and comfort.

Please advise on the best course of action.

This emotion is an internal issue that you are dealing with on your own, and the other person is not aware of it. Therefore, you need to focus on your own internal work to resolve it.

Love is a wonderful thing.

It is essential to acknowledge and address these emotions.

It is not uncommon for emotions to fluctuate throughout the day, with periods of low and high intensity.

You may as well determine whether you would prefer to accept his offer of comfort or continue self-criticism.

To illustrate,

If I experience a negative emotional response to taking medication, I would appreciate his support and comfort. This is a normal and expected reaction.

However, if I have the notion that I should refrain from considering the medicine to be bitter, I will suppress and deny this perception.

Furthermore, there is still a combination of positive sentiments.

Additionally, there is a combination of positive sentiments, including affection and admiration.

This is a more complex situation.

You may wish to consider speaking with a counselor, as this can often be a more rapid and effective solution.

Good morning. I am interested in a romantic relationship with someone. I hope to present the most positive version of myself to this individual. When one is in the initial stages of romantic interest, there is a tendency to experience worry and anxiety. There is a desire to see the other person, but there is also a fear that one's perceived inadequacies will lead the other person to view one negatively. There is a desire to hide one's shortcomings. Consequently, there is a sense of excitement and nervousness when one sees the other person. This is an example of the power of love. It is evident that you possess the capacity to love.

It is generally observed that admiration is directed towards individuals who possess qualities that the admirer lacks and aspires to possess. What qualities do you believe you admire in this doctor? It appears that this aspect of his character serves as a mirror, reflecting aspects of the admirer's own character. When observing this reflection, it can evoke a sense of aspiration, prompting a desire to change oneself. However, the inability to immediately alter this reflection can lead to feelings of discouragement and inferiority. Instead of focusing on the fear of being unappealing to the doctor, it may be more constructive to acknowledge feelings of insecurity and strive to improve oneself.

What measures can be taken to enhance one's sense of comfort in such circumstances?

First, it is essential to identify the underlying motivation behind the desire to grow. Is it the aspiration to become the ideal version of ourselves, which ultimately leads to feelings of inferiority?

Adler posits that a person's sense of inferiority serves as a catalyst for growth and the overcoming of perceived inadequacies, ultimately leading to personal improvement. By envisioning the desired self, individuals can utilize this as a reference point for future development and formulate concrete action plans to facilitate continuous enhancement.

Secondly, it is important to recognise that when emotions are aroused, it becomes easier to perceive the positive qualities of another individual and to idealise them excessively. Therefore, it is beneficial to observe other aspects of the other person in order to gain a more comprehensive understanding of them. Once this understanding has been gained, it is possible to perceive the other person as being just as ordinary as oneself, which in turn will result in a gradual reduction of the sense of tension that may have been experienced previously.

Additionally, when individuals engage in self-deprecating behaviors, they may lose sight of their strengths and focus exclusively on their perceived shortcomings. In such instances, it can be beneficial to remind oneself of the positive attributes one possesses, such as those listed in the example provided.

It is recommended that the aforementioned information be recorded and observed for any subsequent emotional changes.

Thus, the experience of loving someone can evoke feelings of nervousness and apprehension regarding the potential exposure of one's weaknesses. However, this fear can also serve as a catalyst for personal growth and the pursuit of self-improvement. When one feels sufficiently confident and is able to view the other person from a rational perspective, it may be beneficial to seek opportunities for closer interaction and communication. The possibility of positive outcomes, such as the emergence of a mutually beneficial connection, should be considered a promising prospect.

I am Coffee.

Firstly, I would like to extend my sincerest congratulations on having a male acquaintance whom you hold in high regard. From your detailed account, it is evident that this individual possesses admirable qualities and is highly appealing.

It may be assumed that it is a positive and beneficial state to have a romantic interest in one's life. However, it is also evident that the subject in question appears to be experiencing distress.

The psychological distress you describe seems to be rooted in the belief that you have unresolved issues and that the other person does not reciprocate your feelings. How long have you been experiencing this conflicted psychology?

May I inquire as to whether you are feeling better now?

The question thus arises as to how these psychological problems or real-life dilemmas can be solved.

First, we will address real-life issues. It can be argued that a positive relationship is contingent upon one's capacity to attract the other person, rather than solely on one's ability to pursue them.

In general, it can be observed that boys tend to be more proactive in initiating romantic relationships. However, girls who are interested in a boy can also take the initiative. Once this has been established, the focus can shift to one's own personal and professional endeavors.

Additionally, it is important to be mindful of one's image and demeanor in the presence of male acquaintances. Over time, it is beneficial to project a friendly and positive image to foster mutual attraction.

It is commonly understood that relationships are based on mutual attraction. There is no necessity for one party to take the initiative in sending messages, making calls to arrange meetings, or actively approaching the other.

Let us consider what constitutes our attractiveness. What are our own resources and conditions?

It is advisable to endeavour to perform to a higher standard within the existing circumstances. One strategy that may be employed to enhance mutual affection is to increase the frequency of meetings with the individual in question.

For example, one might suggest increasing the frequency of encounters between the two individuals. It is not necessary for the initial interaction to be initiated by the subject; as long as the other party is aware of the subject's presence, the subject can then present their more favorable characteristics. This may encourage the other party to approach the subject on their own initiative.

Furthermore, it is imperative to have confidence in oneself. Research indicates that confident girls are perceived as the most attractive. It can be reasonably assumed that, as a male, I am privy to the fact that when males are attracted to a female, they simultaneously experience feelings of inferiority.

It has been demonstrated that girls can experience these feelings as well. Gradually, one must develop a sense of self-assurance. It is evident that you possess a great deal of merit.

It would be beneficial to explore the external and internal resources at your disposal. A daily reflection on one's strengths and positive attributes can facilitate an enhancement in self-confidence and self-evaluation.

Additionally, it is important to recognize that while men are generally perceived as being highly competent, they also possess a range of minor shortcomings. Consequently, it is essential to acknowledge that the perception of perfection is largely subjective and influenced by one's own perspective.

It is therefore important not to place excessive pressure on oneself. It is advisable to be oneself at 60% of the time.

Additionally, altering one's physical appearance has been demonstrated to enhance self-confidence.

Ultimately, you possess considerable personal qualities, yet your intense feelings for him have caused you considerable distress. Moreover, you are only 22 years of age, recently entering the workforce, and have not yet had the opportunity to gain significant experience.

You are constantly growing and improving, are you not? Therefore, the most significant advantage of your age is that you are young.

There is still ample opportunity for growth and improvement, as well as the potential for personal transformation and the development of one's strengths. It is essential to maintain an optimistic outlook and a belief in the possibility of positive change.

It is recommended that you approach him in an active manner, as this will facilitate his desire to get to know you. It is important to have confidence in yourself, as 22 is considered to be the most beautiful age for women.

It is imperative to have confidence in one's own personal attributes.

It is acknowledged that the result is still uncertain, which may be causing confusion. However, maintaining positive expectations and blessings may lead to favourable outcomes.

It is imperative not to remain idle; rather, one must take action and put the aforementioned advice into practice. Gradually allow him to become accustomed to your appearance, voice, and presence. Once he has become familiar with these aspects of your personality, you may then attempt to attract him to your side. Thank you for your question. I am Coffee, and I extend my best wishes for success.

Hello, I'm Jianlin, a counselor. From your description,

You like him a lot.

He's a doctor and superior. You feel insecure.

You pay attention to his words and actions and how he treats you. You're afraid he doesn't like or love you.

You always want to show him your best side. So when you're in a bad mood, you'll avoid him.

You're worried your negativity will affect him and make him dislike you.

You'll think of yourself as worse. He's above you, while you're unhelpable.

The more nervous you get, the worse you think of yourself. You feel unattainable.

In this situation, the vicious cycle makes it hard to get out. First, remember that you love him and that's not wrong. You've also been able to get his approval.

Love is mutual and equal. You and he are equal, and you are not inferior to him. Loving someone means embracing the whole person, their strengths as well as their weaknesses.

If you show him only your good points and he only loves those, is that love? Can that kind of love last?

This incomplete love is not that he doesn't want it, but that you don't give him the opportunity.

Everyone has their own strengths. You are the best you can be. Why would you be worse than him?

Why do you think you'll be worse than him if you love him? If he loves you, he can't tolerate your shortcomings.

If he can't love you completely, is this love worth cherishing? It's not that he doesn't cherish this, but you don't give him the chance.

Shouldn't you show him your flaws? Let him get to know you.

Show him the real you. Interact with him openly and fall in love with him. Will you still feel terrible?

Let's go back to your earlier comment that you are worthless in front of him.

If you're trash and he's outstanding, why would he love you?

He chose you, so you're as good as he is. Why belittle yourself?

If he thinks you're so good, why don't you like yourself?

Everyone has flaws, but lovers see them as part of your charm. Without flaws, lovers wouldn't love you as much.

When we're distressed, we can use this kind of debate to work on ourselves. We are the best, the only unique and best version of ourselves in the world.

No one can belittle or look down on you, including yourself. The above is about your state of mind.

Let's talk about it. I hope it helps.

Thanks!

Good day, question asker.

As the original poster indicated, it is a positive development to have positive feelings towards a doctor and to have feelings for someone.

When one has a positive regard for another individual, there is a tendency to present one's best self to that person. The host, however, tends to overthink and is often concerned that they may not be presenting their optimal self.

It is not uncommon to be reluctant to display one's less favourable attributes. There is a concern that the other party may not approve and that one's image may be inadequate. This is a typical psychological response.

The host's excessive admiration has led to a state of nervousness. Currently, the host is still in a state of unrequited love. It may be beneficial to consider ways to overcome this unrequited love.

First and foremost, the host must adjust their mindset to one of confidence, believing that they are the ideal partner for the other person. Stand tall and straight in front of the person you like, without being overly nervous. First, treat them as an ordinary friend and try to get in touch.

Secondly, as you interact with this individual in an informal setting, you will gradually become aware of areas where your personalities and interests align. Additionally, you should allow yourself sufficient time to assess whether there is a compatibility between you and this person.

It is important to determine whether this is the ideal partner for you. What are the positive attributes of your partner that you find appealing? It is also essential to consider the potential shortcomings of your partner.

Whether you can accept it.

Once you have overcome the psychological tension, you will be in a position to reveal your true feelings at the appropriate time. This will enable you to move on from this unrequited love and take responsibility for yourself. Expressing your love is also a way of releasing pent-up emotions.

The outcome will be either successful or unsuccessful.

These are just my humble opinions. I hope the poster will soon be able to move on from their longing and embrace a fulfilling relationship.

Should the need arise, we advise consulting with a qualified counselor.

I totally get where you're coming from with feeling inferior and having mixed feelings about getting close to him.

Being in love is an amazing inner experience that brings a wonderful mix of feelings and thoughts. It's also natural for love to bring back memories from our earliest relationships, like the bond we had with our mothers. This can make us think about ourselves and the other person in two different ways:

The first is that I am a baby, either cute or smart, and I feel that my mother likes me. You are a mother, perfect, gentle, and accepting.

The second thing is that I'm still a baby. I'm not cute, I can't take care of myself, and I feel like my mom doesn't like me. You're a mom who is a bit selfish, picky, and not easily pleased.

Because, in our mother and infant era, we all experienced the establishment of these two relationships. Sometimes the first experience dominates, and sometimes the second one does. The better ending is that the second experience takes up more time. This means that we will generally feel secure inside. We will feel like we are good people, valuable in relationships, and that we don't have to worry about others looking down on us. We will also think that we are valuable and will bring happiness to others.

However, if the second experience takes up more time, we might feel a bit insecure. This can happen in relationships, too. We might feel inferior and worry that others look down on us. We might even be afraid that our troubles will cause trouble for others.

It's totally normal for everyday social activities, like making friends, to not trigger those underlying experiences from our mother-child days. But falling in love? That's a whole other story!

Love requires openness of the heart. Just as your heart is opened, it's easy to reveal the deep inner strengths and weaknesses. And everyone has strengths and weaknesses, it just depends on the amount.

I just wanted to remind you that your inner world is just as opaque to you as it is to him. That means he can't see or accept your worries unless you tell him through verbal or non-verbal messages, like emotions, tone of voice, intonation, and posture. So, if you're constantly worried about this, you might as well choose to do some counseling to enhance your sense of security in your inner world and strengthen your feelings and confidence that you are valuable and good.

Then, this feeling can slowly change your inferiority complex, and before you know it, your relationship will be more equal and respectful!

After reading your description, I really want to ask you, are you really that bad? I'm genuinely curious.

Are you really that bad? Please answer honestly.

I think you might say, "Not really, it's just..."

It's natural to focus on someone's good qualities when we like them, and to overlook their flaws. We all have flaws, after all. So, if it's a case of unrequited love, it's understandable and normal to lack confidence in oneself.

We'll always speculate about what someone else likes, whether we have the right appearance, whether they hate us for something, and so on.

I've taken the liberty of summarizing your self-evaluation: an inferiority complex, negative emotions, like garbage, a nuisance, hated, terrible.

If you really believed that, you wouldn't be asking this question. You know that if that were true, it would be pretty unlikely to attract others to love you. But you've asked the question, and I get the feeling you're a bit hesitant and unsure.

Then, I'd like to ask, who put these labels on you? You or other people along the way? If I asked you to start removing these labels from today, would you be willing?

Try to find ten friendly comments about yourself or others, and then think about how you could redefine yourself to see if there is a difference.

Love is a wonderful thing. If you want to be together, there has to be mutual attraction. But what's important is the understanding, tolerance, and mutual support that comes with being together for a long time. This includes tolerating each other's shortcomings and helping each other grow. In a relationship, it's okay to see and express negative emotions. Having mutual troubles is also a way to enhance mutual understanding and trust.

When you catch yourself thinking that you're not liked, stop and ask yourself if that's true. If it is, then ask yourself what you can do to accept yourself as you are. Remember, it's about self-acceptance, not expecting others to accept you. When you start to like yourself more, your self-confidence will come back.

If you put all your hopes in others, you'll always be disappointed. But if you put your hopes in yourself, you'll be thrilled with every day you make progress. Life is dynamic, and growth is about making small discoveries and changes. Just relax!

Hello, I'm Wei Lin, a heart exploration coach, and I'm thrilled to answer your questions!

There's this fascinating psychological effect called the halo effect, which can be described as "love me, love my dog." It basically means that when you like someone, you're impressed by one of his shining points, and over time, you'll think he's absolutely amazing in every way. In the process, you'll gradually forget about yourself.

The self-denying behavior is a fascinating phenomenon. It involves habitually doubting whether you deserve him, doubting your own goodness, and developing a strong sense of inferiority.

This situation is pretty common to almost everyone, and it can be aptly described as "because I like you so much, I am walking on thin ice, trembling with fear." The reasons for this phenomenon are diverse. Some people lack love in their childhood, so deep down they feel unworthy of love. When they meet someone who makes their heart flutter, this emotion that has long been hidden within them will erupt very strongly, leaving people at a loss. Some people subconsciously react in this way after experiencing some setbacks.

But it's okay! It's not a special thing.

You've got to recognize yourself!

Are you really as bad as you think? Absolutely not! Don't judge yourself from the man's perspective, but from your own or your friends' perspective. You can list your perceived shortcomings on a piece of paper and show them to your friends, to hear their opinions. Don't limit yourself to a single frame of reference.

And the second is to be confident!

I have always firmly believed that everyone in the world has their own unique brilliance, either they haven't discovered it yet or it hasn't shown itself yet. So, don't belittle yourself! When you feel bored and are afraid of bringing this boredom to the other person, why not try to explain it?

This is also a great chance to communicate!

Once you've identified your strengths, it's time to shift your emotions. Negative emotions only lead to negative experiences, so let's put our minds at ease!

If you do gain a relationship in the future, and it makes you feel pain, then just let it go slowly.

I wish you all the best!