I like the wrong person, and I want to forget her, but I can't quite manage it.

Hello, I am peace.

Who wouldn't like being kissed by a girl they like?

She's also good-looking, generous, proactive, and understanding. It's not easy to forget. These are normal feelings.

How old are you? Have you been in a relationship?

Have you liked a girl before?

The text says the kiss was just payment and she doesn't like you.

Where did this idea come from? Has she told you how she feels?

Have you told her you like her?

You like her generosity, initiative, and understanding.

What's your usual attitude in relationships? Are you generous?

Is she proactive?

Do you find her attractive because of her personality or looks?

How would you react if the same quality was in another girl?

Many people like her. Is there more to your feelings for her than just like?

Don't rush. Take your time, calm down, think, and explore your feelings.

When you're ready, the answer will come.

No matter what, this feeling is worth keeping.

Best wishes!

Dear question asker,

The aforementioned responses offer a psychological analysis from a professional perspective. However, I aim to utilize my personal experience to assist in resolving the confusion.

I will begin by recounting my personal experience. I am currently in my early twenties, and I once had a romantic interest in a boy for six years. Unlike the original poster, I believe that we were in love with each other. However, I made a misstep, and as a result, neither of us took the initiative to pursue a relationship.

Ultimately, communication was terminated, and no further developments occurred. It has been four years since our last encounter.

At that time, my mentality was probably similar to that of the original poster, in that I was unable to let go of my obsession with him despite being aware that it would ultimately prove futile. At that time, I experienced a profound sense of longing for him on a daily basis and found myself continually envisioning a future reunion. Consequently, I am able to empathise with the original poster's sentiments. Even now, I still hold a degree of affection for him, however, this sentiment has long since been submerged within the depths of my consciousness, and I only occasionally experience a fleeting sense of longing.

In terms of my psychological process, the key is to allow the existence of one's thoughts and to cease resisting them. This is based on the premise that one is aware of the appropriate course of action, and when one experiences a sense of longing for the other person, one should remind oneself that this is a normal and acceptable emotion. Is this understood? There is no need to force oneself to forget the other person. What matters is not one's internal state, but rather the external actions that one takes.

It is imperative to be clear about the appropriate course of action. If it is evident that a relationship is not feasible, it is crucial to maintain distance and to fulfill one's responsibilities effectively.

With the passage of time, these thoughts will gradually dissipate. It is also possible that, in the future, you may reflect on this experience with a sense of fondness.

It is my hope that my response will prove useful to the individual who posed the question.

Hello, question asker! I'm thrilled to answer your question. I can sense that you are a little troubled, but I'm here to help! You feel that you like a girl, but you want to forget her, but can't.

"I fell for a girl who kissed me on her own initiative. That kiss was just payment for something, not because she liked me. I took a photo of her once, and she was totally cool about it!

"She is absolutely gorgeous, so generous, proactive, and understanding. She's liked by tons of boys! I want to forget her, but I just can't quite do it."

1. I don't think the questioner really likes the girl. After all, there hasn't been much interaction, and it's just the moment when you were kissed that made you feel this way. It's this feeling that makes you unforgettable! Don't try to forget it deliberately. Respect the feelings in your body and accept this feeling. Because from a certain perspective, the more the questioner deliberately tries to forget, the less he lets himself think about it, the stronger the resistance becomes, and the stronger this feeling becomes in his body.

2. That kiss was just a reward. She kisses boys randomly for something, not because of the level of affection. Imagine this: the second she kissed you, would she kiss another boy next? Or the second she just kissed another boy, would she kiss you next?

If that's the case, you've got to be able to accept it! And the questioner also said that the girl doesn't like you, and even if you follow her, it's unlikely that she'll fall for you.

And she is also liked by many boys, so what is her relationship with other boys like?

3. I think that after the OP has adjusted his state, he can try to chase other girls. Maybe at first he will be a little embarrassed, but I think with repeated practice, you will become more and more courageous in expressing yourself, and let the girl see your good and sunny or gentle side. What I mean is that everyone has their strengths, and if you show your good side, you will definitely be able to attract the girl's like. Good luck!

Hello!

Love is unforgettable.

The landlord loves her but is afraid to get close to her.

The outsider sees more clearly, but the insider is confused.

I fell for a girl who kissed me.

I like this girl.

The kiss was just payment. She didn't like me.

I took a photo of her and she didn't get mad.

I'm not sure if she likes me.

Or she thought the host had made a mistake and punished him by kissing him.

Maybe the punishment is just an excuse. If you don't like the host, how could you have done that?

She is good-looking, generous, proactive, and understanding. Many boys like her.

She's very good-looking and liked by many boys, but she likes only one person.

Why don't you think it's you?

Think about what you have that she appreciates.

I want to forget her, but I can't.

If you're in love, take action. If the confession fails, you won't regret it.

Unless she doesn't like her anymore.

I wish you a happy life!

I love you, June!

Hello.

You fell for a girl who kissed you first. You can't get her off your mind.

I think this girl was the first to kiss you.

If life were a first encounter, her kiss would be your fondest memory.

Any boy who suffers such a "lucky charm" is likely to remember it forever.

This is a psychological principle called the stereotype effect and the halo effect.

When she kisses you, it stimulates your brain and nerves, and your body produces dopamine.

Adrenaline makes you feel good. This makes the beautiful scene even more exciting.

It's unforgettable.

If you're a shy boy and this girl is the first to chat with you, it'll be unforgettable.

Your behavior gave you self-confidence and self-esteem. It's hard to forget her.

You felt happy and proud.

Did you pursue this girl? Why not?

What if you get her?

Many boys like this girl. She's lively and cheerful.

If so, her kisses might be for other boys too.

What feelings will it bring you?

What if you can't have her or forget her? She's already part of your life.

It will stay with you forever!

I'm counselor Yao. I'll support and care for you!

Hello, young man. You nailed it. Spotting beauty and being kissed on the forehead by a beautiful girl is an exciting moment. It's unforgettable.

Every teenager has a crush.

You like a girl who kisses me actively, and she told you that "that kiss was just payment for something, not because she likes me." Is that what you heard?

It's not just your perception. It's a reward or a buddy-like relationship. She likes you. It's love if you have an emotional connection.

This? It came suddenly, but there is a reason for it. "I took a photo of her once, and she didn't get angry when she found out.

She's not angry, so she's not disgusted. If she doesn't like you, she'll just smile. Why would she send you a kiss? Has she done this kind of thing with other classmates?

You need to confirm this with her.

You like her, so you pay attention to her and take pictures of her. She's pretty, generous, proactive, and empathetic. You like her, so just confess your feelings. You're not put off by the fact that she is liked by many boys.

Just give up? Forget about how many people like her. You're the one she needs.

You can't forget her, so just confess your love. If it doesn't work out, at least you can let her know that you like her. There's nothing wrong with liking someone. Confess your love and move on.

If you know she's not for you, treat her as a friend. It's a good choice. You're young, and you have a future ahead of you. You'll meet someone else, and you'll have happy memories of her.

Young man, beauty is everywhere, and you have the eyes to see it. Beauty is surely waiting for you just around the corner.

Come on.

Hello!

Host:

Hi, I'm Zeng Chen, a heart exploration coach. I've read your post and I can really feel the internal conflict you're facing. It seems like you appreciate her, but you also want to forget her.

At the same time, I also noticed that the poster has bravely expressed his own distress and actively sought help on the platform, which will undoubtedly help the poster to better understand and recognize himself, and thus adjust himself. I'm so proud of him for being brave enough to seek help!

I'd love to share some thoughts from the post that might help you see yourself in a new light.

I know it can be tough, but the more you try to forget, the more you can't.

In the post, it was observed that the poster mentioned that you like someone who is not right, and you want to forget her but can't. I totally get how you're feeling right now. It's so common when we try to forget something, it just doesn't work!

I'm not sure if the original poster has ever had trouble sleeping. It's like when you try to fall asleep and you can't. The more you try, the more you can't. It's so hard!

Sometimes, you know, the more you resist, the more the opposite effect occurs. It's just like the action and reaction of a force.

Of course, this is also related to how our brains work. When we want to forget someone, our brains will ask us, "Who do you want to forget?"

I know it can be tough, but did the other person's appearance come back to your mind at that time?

So, you see, the more you try to forget, the more you may actually strengthen her image in your mind.

2. Accept and accept yourself. I know it's tough, but try to focus on yourself for a bit. I can't forget now

As we chatted above, it became clear that trying to forget only makes it harder. So, what can we do for ourselves right now?

Maybe we can accept our current state of being. If I can't forget, I won't forget. I allow myself to not forget in this current state, and I also allow myself to always think of her in this current state.

Then, with time, we can gradually let go of the other person. A friend of mine was recently heartbroken. At first, she couldn't forget him, and even remembered his license plate number. Whenever she saw a white car on the road, she would take a look.

I told her not to try to forget, but to allow it. And then, one day, she surprised me! She said, "I can't remember his license plate number."

Sometimes, we really need to give ourselves some time and space. It's okay to use time and space to fade everything away.

3. Try to focus back on yourself, my friend.

It's okay to accept and allow ourselves to forget. What can we do after we realize that we can't forget? We can try to focus our attention back on ourselves, and at the same time, we can set a time limit for thinking about her.

Because thinking is something we can't always control. But if we can't control it, we can make a pact with ourselves and cooperate.

I know it can be tough to stop thinking about her, but I allow you to think about her for a period of time. When you think about her on your own at other times, at this time, draw your attention back to the present and go about your own business.

You can also try to focus on yourself and use this time to grow yourself, which may allow you to meet a better version of yourself. I know you can do it!

I really hope these are helpful and inspiring for you! If you have any questions, you can also click to find a coach for one-on-one communication.

Dear questioner,

From your question, I can tell that you are really quite anxious about this matter. Don't panic! I've got some great suggestions for you that I think you'll find really useful.

Let me ask you something. Do you feel conflicted and inferior? You described this beautiful girl in such a touching way in the title, but you also said that she is someone you shouldn't fall in love with. You can imagine that this girl should be single. You define a beautiful single girl as someone you shouldn't fall in love with. Does this reflect that you may have an inferiority complex?

Of course the point of liking someone is to find a way to be with them! But you haven't considered being with her because you've subconsciously belittled yourself from the start.

I don't mean to blame you, but I am saying that your mentality and emotions will reflect in your appearance, which will make you feel inadequate and make it even less likely that you will be with the other person. But don't worry! There's still time to turn things around.

So first of all, do you want to look inward and find out the source of your inferiority complex and sense of unworthiness?

It feels like you're not getting much out of your beloved girl. I strongly recommend that you muster up the courage to talk to her more, even though it's difficult. You seem a little afraid to communicate with her, but she chose to kiss you! At least that means she doesn't have a bad impression of you.

I really encourage you to communicate with this girl sometimes. Things are not as bad as you think! But if you want to move on, then either divert your attention or switch your target. Do your best to distance yourself from her, like you would with other girls.

Don't pay attention to her! Focus on improving yourself instead!

When it comes to self-improvement, I would highly recommend making a few simple changes to your appearance and boosting your confidence. This is the most cost-effective and efficient way to give your confidence a boost!

I really hope you will adopt it! Best wishes!

Dear Sir, From your account, it is evident that you hold a profound affection for her, and that her kiss has left an indelible impression on you.

This is a normal phenomenon, as kissing is also a form of "language of love" in psychology. The fact that she was able to give you a kiss at the beginning indicates that she had a very positive impression of you at that time. Furthermore, based on your description of her, she is highly admirable in every way and is reminiscent of a Wang Xinling.

It would be an anomalous response to this situation for you to easily forget such a commendable individual. I empathize with your sentiments.

Nevertheless, there is no necessity for you to deliberately forget. This is merely a form of suppression. You may instead endeavor to learn three key principles: your own business, other people's business, and God's business.

The manner in which you view and treat her in your daily life is a matter of personal discretion; therefore, you are at liberty to adopt whatever approach you deem appropriate. The feedback she provides in response to your behavior is a matter of her own concern; therefore, you are obliged to respect it. The question of whether you and she will be able to coexist in the future and whether she will become your life partner is a matter of fate, which is ultimately in the hands of God. Consequently, you are advised to follow your heart.

Furthermore, the reason for her popularity among male admirers is her effective self-presentation as a "flower," which attracts them (including you) to pursue her romantically. Rather than dwelling on the prospect of her rejection or your own feelings, it would be more beneficial to focus on enhancing your own attractiveness and becoming the object of affection for numerous female admirers, or even a male ideal.

At that point, will you still be concerned about your inability to attract her or a girl of comparable or superior quality?

In conclusion, I offer one piece of advice: if you cultivate your talents and strive for excellence, opportunities will arise and success will be inevitable. Allow yourself to flourish and become the best you can be!

I'll do my best to answer your questions and help you through this!

First of all, you're not too old, and neither is that pretty girl. From experience, I can tell you that at any time, her kiss is just a so-called reward. She has a lot of people she likes, but she has a good impression of you! She doesn't hate you, and she even kind of likes you!

Second, you think you like the wrong person, and there may be multiple factors, such as you want to study hard? She is too beautiful for you?

Is there someone else you like better right now? There are so many factors at play, but why not make her the right person?

True love is meeting the right person at the right time! It's just that you don't think she's the right person for you right now.

Third, many things should be left to fate. If you can't forget her, don't worry! Just let time heal everything. If you really can't forget her and miss her, then go after her and give it a try! You never know what might happen.

There's so much more to learn! Share your advice and experience, and let's learn together!

You are the absolute best!

I'm so excited to keep in touch!

Yi Xinli Answering Questions Hall Mutual Aid Community, World, and I Love You >> https://m.xinli001.com/qa

Good day.

As a heart coach, I specialize in helping clients learn and grow.

From your description, I can discern a certain level of internal conflict, reluctance, discomfort, and confusion.

I will not delve into the specifics of the challenge of attempting to forget someone but being unable to do so at this time. I will provide three pieces of advice for your consideration:

My first suggestion is that you try to "allow" yourself not to forget.

Because change is contingent upon the absence of resistance.

In other words, when you want to forget someone, you can first "allow" yourself not to forget, so that you are not fighting against your brain, but instead you can forget. This is how the human brain works: sometimes the more we try to make it do something, the harder it is to do it.

Secondly, I recommend that you pursue other women you find attractive.

In other words, when you form a romantic attachment to another individual, your feelings for this person will gradually diminish, and you may even forget about her because you have already identified a replacement.

As you indicated in your description, it seems that you may have fallen for the wrong person. This may be because you feel that you don't have much chance to be with her, and your liking may just be silent. In that case, you may wish to consider finding the right person and being with that person instead.

You may also choose to pursue this opportunity. Even if she has numerous admirers, there is a strong possibility that she also has positive feelings towards you. At this juncture, it would be beneficial to focus on your strengths, gain confidence, and adopt a growth mindset. Additionally, her lack of objection when you took a photo of her without her knowledge indicates that she does not hold any negative sentiments towards you. This suggests that there is a potential for a positive outcome between you and her.

Once you have completed your engagement with her, you will no longer experience difficulties in forgetting her, and your concerns will be resolved.

Even if the outcome is not as desired, I believe this experience will ultimately provide a sense of relief. You have invested significant effort and resources, and therefore, I am confident that you will not regret it. Additionally, this experience may gradually help you move on from her.

I advise you to maintain control of your emotions and avoid allowing them to unduly influence your current situation.

As previously stated, you have the option of pursuing her. However, if you are not inclined to do so, if you believe it is unfeasible, if you are reluctant to take the risk, or if she does not reciprocate your feelings, you may choose to retain your feelings for her in your heart. Given that she has kissed you and has become a part of your life, it is understandable that you may find it challenging to completely cut off and forget about her. Instead, allow her to exist in your heart, and as long as you do not let this experience affect you too much, you can carry that beautiful memory with you.

As an example, should you find yourself thinking about her on occasion, it is important to acknowledge these thoughts and allow them to exist. As previously mentioned, it is crucial to accept these feelings and not attempt to suppress them.

If you are overly affected by her and always think about her, you can remind yourself that it is not feasible to be with her. You must take responsibility for your own life and pursue other opportunities. You can also put your experience with her in the background. Repeating these suggestions may prevent you from being overly affected by her because your thinking has changed. Even if you still cannot forget her, that is not a problem. In short, you need to know that you can take action to improve the situation.

Once you begin taking action, the various negative emotions will naturally dissipate at a gradual pace. This is because action often serves as an effective antidote to negative emotions.

It is also important to recognise the value of time. Allocating sufficient time to the situation will help to mitigate the influence of the other party.

I hope this response is of assistance to you. Should you wish to discuss further, you are invited to click on the link entitled "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation" at the foot of this page. I will then be pleased to communicate with you on a one-to-one basis.

Hi, I'm Wanshi Ruyi. It seems like you're going through a tough time. You know that there's a girl who doesn't like you, but because of something she kissed you once, you like her. You're feeling pretty conflicted. On the one hand, you want to be with her, but on the other hand, you feel like it's not mutual and you shouldn't be together. You're facing some internal struggles. It's a shy, beautiful, yet hesitant feeling of unrequited love. You want to forget her, but you can't, and you're feeling some anxiety. I can relate to how you're feeling.

Psychologist Maslow's theory of basic needs states that the third level is the need for love and belonging, which is a basic human need. We all have the need to be loved and liked. This girl kissed you once, which made you feel warm, loved, and included. You really enjoyed this feeling, so you like her even more.

On the other hand, I've seen girls kiss you just because you helped them out. In our country, China, kissing is a pretty intimate thing to do. I don't know if girls will kiss other boys back if they help them out, but it can definitely lead to some confusion. So when you say that a lot of boys like her, I think that her approach to dealing with people also plays a part in it.

It seems like you don't think the other person has feelings for you. If you feel like the other person doesn't like you, I suggest you express your feelings and needs to them. If you really like the other person, you can tell them how you feel and that you want to be with them. If the other person isn't willing to be with you, you need to make it clear that in the future, when you help each other, you hope they won't use intimate actions like kissing to show their feelings back to you. This will make it easier for you to feel the urge and feeling of being liked because intimate physical contact between members of the opposite sex can easily generate feelings of liking and affection, which comes from human nature and sexual urges.

It's important to maintain good boundaries in heterosexual relationships. This means respecting the other person and also respecting your own feelings.

The questioner's conflict stems from Freud's personality structure, where the id and superego are in conflict and contradiction. The id follows the principle of pleasure, while the superego follows the principle of morality. You want to enjoy the warm and intimate feeling, but you also know that two people cannot be together just because they are not in love. This is disloyal and immoral. I'm pleased to see that you're a boy with good self-awareness and moral character.

It's important to have boundaries, especially between the opposite sexes. One of the best things about love is that it's a one-on-one thing between two people. It's loyal and irreplaceable.

A good love is when two people are attracted to each other. I suggest you read some classic books about love, such as Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen, and read romance novels to help you understand more about liking, about love, and what it's like to be in love.

I hope this helps. Best of luck getting through this.