I liked a guy and felt extremely inferior...

Hello, dear questioner, I sense that you are in a state of self-awareness and self-contradiction.

After reading your message, I feel that I understand some of the issues, but I'm still not quite sure. I think this may be similar to your current state of mind: clear but wavering back and forth.

You are aware of the issue, but you may benefit from focusing on the core challenge.

From your story, I understand that your love is both lonely and courageous. Could you please elaborate on why you think it is lonely and courageous?

It would seem that everyone at the school is aware of the love you give to the other person. I believe this is a very courageous act in any type of relationship. It is as though you are declaring your love and devotion to everyone.

It seems that he may be aware of this, given that you used the term "cold war." This love of yours not only gives you the joy of loving others, but also endless panic and self-punishment, which in turn affects the one next to you.

This kind of love may be perceived as less readily accepted, akin to an island adrift in the sea, uncertain of its destination, which can evoke a sense of despair.

I believe that regardless of how humble or inexplicable your love may be, there is a core issue at hand: a lack of acceptance of the love of the moment. When love comes, it often catches us off guard, prompting us to follow our instincts to pay attention, be attracted, and give.

It might be helpful to consider that, in addition to our instinctive self, there is also a harsh and critical "greater self" that exists. This self may tell us that we are doing something wrong, that our actions are not in line with custom, or that we are shameful. It might even tell us that we will be punished. While we are instinctively giving, loving, and happy, this greater self may jump out from time to time and bombard us with these negative thoughts, which can wound us beyond repair. It's a challenging thing to experience, but it's something we all face daily.

I'm afraid I don't have a solution for dealing with your inferiority complex and internal conflicts. I believe they may be signals from the core conflict within us, guiding you to the core of the conflict.

If I might offer you a suggestion, it would be to consider whether you can accept yourself as you are. I believe that this indecision is affecting not only you, but also the other person in your life.

If you're still unsure, it might be helpful to seek professional advice to help you understand yourself better and, more importantly, try to accept yourself.

There are no absolute rules when it comes to love. The same goes for who we choose to love.

Ultimately, I hope we can all find the strength to love others and to love our unique selves even more.

It is likely that the original poster is male.

From your description, I can discern a conflict within you. You evidently hold a strong affinity for the aforementioned individual, yet you are reticent to divulge this to those around you. This may be due to concerns that they will view you with disdain or that, once you have expressed your feelings, you will no longer be able to maintain a friendship with the other person.

There is no legal or social impediment to men expressing romantic or sexual attraction to other men. In fact, our society is becoming increasingly open to this form of expression. I have observed numerous couples in my immediate circle, comprising individuals of both genders, who are both very content and thriving in their relationships.

As a junior this year, it is normal to experience confusion about life at this age. However, it is important to recognize that if these feelings result in frequent crying or a sense of life being inferior,

I believe that if your parents were to observe your current state of mind, it would be distressing for them. If they truly care about you, they will want you to be happy.

You are the best judge of whether the relationship between you and him is friendship or love. One simple way to tell the difference is that love involves sexual attraction, while friendship does not.

If you genuinely feel a strong affinity for him, it would be beneficial to first address your own feelings. There is no legal prohibition against a man expressing romantic interest in another man. However, it is important to recognize that prolonged unhappiness, a sense of living a mundane existence, confusion, and a lack of joy in life are not conducive to a fulfilling existence.

In my opinion, the ultimate objective of life is to enhance your own happiness and that of those around you. Along the way, you will encounter many unexpected challenges. The meaning of these challenges is to overcome them and then achieve a happier life.

I wish you the best in your future endeavors and wish you the utmost success.

Hello, question asker!

From your description, I see a girl who is full of contradictions. She seems happy and lively on the outside, but on the inside, she is thoughtful and fragile. She is arrogant and aloof on one hand, and humble and self-pitying on the other. She is in love to the core, but she is also afraid to face it.

If you love someone, you love them. There's no reason to be afraid to face it. What are you afraid of?

Tell me, were you afraid of rejection? Did you think the person you loved was an idealized version of him?

Were you worried that once you got involved, it might not be that good? Or were you concerned about the potential consequences of your past experiences?

Or are you engaged to be married? Or is there some other reason that is difficult for you to explain objectively?

If you are engaged or have some other objective reason that is difficult to explain, it is understandable. Here are a few points to consider in addition to these two reasons:

1. "I liked a guy, and I told myself I couldn't like them. I was always on guard against any feelings."

You told yourself not to like them before you fell for this guy. Who are "they"?

A college girl, newly in love, likes boys. It seems reasonable to have a passionate love affair. So why "have been on guard, not moving any emotions"?

Speculation 1: Your upbringing. You were brought up in a strict household, where your parents taught you to protect yourself, stay away from men, and not get involved in early romances. This affected your studies and future prospects. You regard being attracted to men as a roadblock to your development and are always on your guard.

Speculation 2: It's likely that a family member has suffered a broken heart, and you feel the same way. As a young child, you probably thought that as long as you didn't fall in love, you would not be hurt.

Speculation 3: There are few men in the family, and without experience of relationships, they naturally classify things they don't understand as dangerous. The best way to protect themselves is to avoid getting emotionally involved.

2. "I never told him, not even a hint."

There absolutely can be a hint. What if there is a hint?

You think it will lower your status? You think it will be extremely humble? You think it will feel like you're belittling yourself? It seems that in your opinion, if you take the initiative, it will lower your status. In love, women have to be "arrogant" and "aloof."

I want to know where these beliefs come from.

You have a very moralistic superego, which is the internalized expectations of your parents about what a girl should be like. This is usually referred to in psychology as the "superego."

As you get older, the hormones in your body take over, and you naturally become attracted to boys. This is usually referred to in psychology as the "id." It's like the lyrics of Li Na's song "Women Are Tigers": "The young monk went down the mountain to beg for food, and the old monk gave him this advice: 'The women down in the valley are tigers, so if you meet one, run for your life... Why don't tigers eat people? They look kind of cute...

"The tiger has already broken into my heart."

You must use the power of the "self" (a psychological term) to suppress the attraction of deception. You have to stop letting anyone know, and you have to convince yourself that you haven't loved him. The "self" originally regulated the "superego" and the "id" to achieve balance.

But in the face of overwhelming attraction, you must be strong and suppress your instincts. You will feel weak and powerless, but you can face the accusations of your superego and overcome your feelings.

You will experience humiliation and self-abuse.

I am confident that these suggestions will be helpful.

1. Get help from a mental health professional, figure out why you think you can't fall in love with a man, and understand why you have so many moral judgments about expressing love.

2. Accept your true self. Falling in love with a man is a joyful thing, and it shows that you have the ability to love. You should express your love because it shows that you have the ability to practice love.