I recently started my own business and don't have much time for romance. Can I pursue both my career and my love life at the same time?

Hello, questioner! You ask, "Can you have a career and love someone?"

"First, I commend you for thinking about your career and relationships. Thinking leads to growth. Let's look at your question.

You say your career is doing well and you're getting along with everyone. You started your own business, so you're busy and don't have time for a relationship.

You've been courted by others, but you're focused on planning your business. You've been married before and don't have kids.

You are passive and don't know how to start a relationship. All your relationships have failed. You have financial difficulties but don't know how to ask your boyfriend for help.

You don't know what a boyfriend is for. Why get married? You can live a good life on your own.

You like feeling loved and cared for, but you also feel that relationships are complicated and affect starting a business. There are a lot of things to consider, especially when your financial situation is not good.

You don't know how to confirm a relationship. You are distressed because business owners with families pursue you, wanting to divorce.

You're 34, divorced, and don't have kids. You're attracted to the man pursuing you, but you're afraid of his status.

Your logic and emotions are in conflict.

You seem successful. You're professional and hardworking.

It's hard for women to stand up for themselves in this country. You've started your own business and do everything yourself, so you know it was tough. You think falling in love is a waste of time and that women in love have too many emotions, which affect their careers.

You have your own business and can support yourself, so you don't need a boyfriend. You also want to be loved and cared for and enjoy being pursued by men.

You may also meet men who make your heart flutter, but many of those men already have a family. Men may admire, appreciate, and value you during the process of wooing you, but they have a family, which may deter you.

Your problem seems to be balancing your career and love life. It's a battle between your rational and emotional sides. Which side will win? It depends on the outcome, and you get to choose.

Marriage is like a besieged city. Those on the outside want to get in, and those on the inside want to get out.

This sentence sums up marriage well. Before marriage, we have high expectations. After marriage, we want to escape.

However, after getting married, we realize that life is dull and the love between us will wear down over time. We may lose hope and passion, and suffer.

The most important thing is to feel no remorse for our choices.

We are responsible for our lives.

No matter what, there's no right or wrong. We're all responsible for our lives. You said some men made you feel good, but you didn't choose, and there must be a reason why.

You are responsible for your life.

Best wishes to the original poster! I hope my answer helps.

Hello, question asker.

I give you a warm hug. You chose to fight alone after experiencing the hurt of marriage. I applaud your independence and feel for your concerns. There are many challenges for women. I'll answer your question later. Let's explore love and marriage. I found this article on Zhihu and have excerpted part of it below:

Love marriage: Anima and Animus

Mr. Kobayashi

Mr. Kobayashi

People usually think of themselves as men or women, but psychological facts show that everyone is psychologically androgynous. In Plato's "Symposium," there is a story of an ancient Greek myth told by a man named Aristophanes: the first humans were spherical, with four arms, four legs, one head, and two faces, looking in opposite directions.

These spherical humans had extraordinary strength and wisdom. They fought the gods, who cut them in half to reduce their power. These first spherical humans became two halves, one female and one male. Since then, they have been looking for each other.

Aristophanes says that when they meet, they melt together in love, friendship, and intimacy. They want to spend their whole lives together.

Jung was the first psychologist to observe androgyny in the human psyche. He said that within every man lives a feminine image, called the "anima." Similarly, within every woman lives a masculine image, called the "animus."

Why do people fall in love at first sight? Why do lovers see beauty in each other?

Why do stories often involve men and women in love? Why is marriage often seen as the end of love?

These are mostly the result of the anima and animus's actions.

Anima, animus, and projection

The word anima means "soul" in Latin. It refers to the feminine part of the male psyche. It shows that the male psyche contains some negative or feminine parts that have always operated in a feminine way in the male body. The anima is usually associated with the image of the mother and the beloved.

"Every mother and loved one must become the embodiment of this image, which resonates with the deepest male psychology." Jung felt the word "soul" was too vague and used "anima" instead.

The anima is usually a woman who seduces men and helps the male soul express itself. The concept of the anima helps us understand certain inner components of the male psyche.

Jung called the male part of a woman's mind the anima. This is the male image in a woman's mind that has always been operating in a male way. The word anima means "spirit." Jung's theory says that the anima is the inner spiritual guidance of women.

Jung's concept of the anima demonstrated male dominance in a patriarchal society. The anima is a sympathetic portrayal of men's inner world, but it's not friendly. It's a stereotypical view of the "other" and a construction of the external world.

He says that if the anima is a prototype found in men, it is reasonable to assume that a corresponding archetype is also present in women. Just as men are compensated through women, women are also compensated through men.

Jung thought the anima and animus were the main parts of a person's psyche. Men and women are not completely different.

The conscious self and the body are the same. Men identify the conscious self as masculine, and their feminine side becomes unconscious and the inner image of the anima.

A woman is a woman because she identifies as female, while her masculine side becomes the animus image. Our families, societies, and cultures reinforce this.

The anima and animus are always at work in men and women, but we don't always understand them. One reason is projection.

Projection is when parts of our unconscious mind are shown to us as if they belong to someone else.

Projection is unconscious. If we become aware of it, it stops. If we project something, we do it unconsciously.

Since anima and animus are projected, we usually fail to recognize that they belong to us. Once we become aware of projection, we can use it to become aware of our mental content.

This is important for self-knowledge, especially for the anima and animus. These psychological factors can never become conscious without projecting themselves.

Anima and animus images have psychological energy. They can control us emotionally. As a result, they have a magnetic attraction. People carrying these images seem attractive or repulsive.

Projections are neither good nor bad. Our reaction to them is what matters. Falling in love opens our hearts to new things.

It makes our lives richer. Life is like this: never ending.

Young people should experience falling in love. Life without it is impoverished.

Your partner is like a mirror. They reflect your heart's desires. But if you're too focused on the image, you'll be terrified when passion fades. You'll either fight or flee. Have you considered why your previous marriage failed? What did you learn from it?

We will still get married, but we must be prepared. At 34, we can't afford to make mistakes.

[Get ready for marriage]

A dating approach that focuses on entertainment and relaxation, based on a full and comprehensive objective understanding of both parties, will blind people and prevent them from seeing the true side of the other person. The correct approach is to cooperate to complete a task. Kindness and altruism will make the marriage more fulfilling.

To understand someone, look at how they interact with friends and family. When people are in love, they show their best side, but time reveals the true heart of a person. His usual communication style describes what kind of person he is. Also, observe how his parents get along. Parents are our best role models.

Be honest with each other about your attitudes toward money.

How you handle challenges is a sign of maturity. Emotional stability is also important. Marriage and parenting are challenging, but having a stable emotional foundation is crucial for children.

I'm a counselor, Zhang Huili. The above is from someone who has been there. I hope it helps. If you find it useful, please click "like" before leaving.

Greetings.

The questioner's narrative indicates a tendency to approach life with a sense of gravity and responsibility. However, the pursuit of a career often presents a challenge in maintaining healthy relationships. When a career is prioritized, the relationship may face difficulties; conversely, when a relationship is the primary focus, the career may encounter obstacles. This creates a dichotomous choice that is difficult to balance.

The question thus arises as to whether it is genuinely unfeasible to maintain a fruitful career and a loving relationship concurrently. Indeed, is a partner truly worthwhile?

In recent times, my professional life has flourished, and I have forged positive relationships with colleagues. As I embark on a new venture, I am tasked with numerous responsibilities, leaving me with limited time and inclination to pursue romantic interests. Despite the attention I receive from potential partners, I find myself preoccupied with planning the business model for my venture. Additionally, I have previously been married, do not have children, and am relatively passive, leading me to refrain from taking the initiative to foster relationships. This has resulted in the dissolution of several relationships without explanation. Furthermore, I am uncertain about the role of a romantic partner in light of my financial challenges. I question the necessity of romantic attachment and the institution of marriage. I believe I can thrive independently.

Entrepreneurs often give the impression of being preoccupied with work and having limited free time. This is because they often shoulder significant responsibilities and are driven by internal pressure, which leads them to prioritize work-related activities. This can be a coping mechanism for anxiety, which can provide a sense of accomplishment and control. However, this can also lead to feelings of anxiety and a sense of blame, which can then subside. This highlights the fluidity of what is perceived as "busy" and the importance of considering the emotional aspects of entrepreneurs' lives. It is important to recognize that entrepreneurs who are 100% dedicated to work without emotional input do not exist. Therefore, they also need emotional support and relief to better promote personal growth.

It can be argued that the existence of an intimate relationship is not solely contingent upon the provision of material support; rather, it is the fulfilment of emotional needs and the offering of emotional support that is of paramount importance.

Discussing the advantages of intimacy without addressing the emotional aspects of the relationship is not a genuine expression of intimacy. It is merely a transactional approach, seeking only to fulfill one's own needs without providing the necessary emotional support and strength to the other person. This impersonal emotional model is incompatible with the depth and intimacy that characterize a genuine romantic relationship.

When one develops an affinity for another individual, it is not sufficient to be merely attracted to their humor or talent. It is imperative to ascertain whether they are capable of exhibiting their authentic self and demonstrating the tenderness and care that one requires. It is only when such a connection is established that love can flourish and evolve.

It is recommended that:

1. It is beneficial to gain a deeper understanding of intimate relationships. As we gain more life experience, we may become more cautious and hesitant to enter into intimate relationships where we have to give before we can receive. However, this ability to face risks represents a strength of inner wisdom rather than a weakness of self-protection.

2. It would be beneficial to attempt to establish a sense of connection with others and gain a sense of intimacy. Perhaps the questioner will consider that being able to interact with others on occasion and being articulate does not necessarily indicate success in relationships?

From a certain perspective, for example in the business world, the ability to read people and exchange pleasantries represents successful communication. However, in the context of intimate relationships, communication at this level is insufficient. Intimate relationships involve a deeper level of intimacy that touches the core of one's identity. In such relationships, all true emotions will be revealed. Although, because of the unreserved disclosure, the relationship is vulnerable to external stimuli, it is precisely because of the ability to bear emotions that one will gradually grow into a more independent self.

Ultimately, as individuals possess disparate preferences, they may also hold unique perspectives on their chosen mode of existence. However, if the deterrent is rooted in apprehension regarding intimacy, trepidation, and a perception of inner deficiency stemming from an inability to establish meaningful connections, it becomes imperative to commence from the present moment, exert considerable effort to nurture self-care, and simultaneously cultivate a capacity for love to compensate for the deficit.

Best wishes for success and resilience!