I think about impossible possibilities every day. Do I seem to have pre-wedding jitters lately?

Hello!

I am a heart exploration coach, and I can tell you that learning is the treasure of the body.

From your description, I can clearly see your inner fear, worry, anxiety, pain, and helplessness.

I won't go into the details of your pre-marital anxiety here, but I'm going to give you three pieces of advice you need to hear:

First, think back to what you were thinking about when you were feeling bad.

You need to think about what you are worried about and why you are worried.

Be as specific as possible. Only by identifying the root cause can you effectively address it.

It's important to understand why you're anxious before marriage. Have you noticed that people around you aren't happy after getting married? It could be that your parents' marriage had a negative impact on you, or maybe someone you trust said your marriage isn't suitable. Perhaps your parents disagree, or you think your partner doesn't meet your standards for a spouse. Whatever the reason, you need to figure out why you're anxious before marriage. This kind of self-examination will help you feel better.

Second, you must examine the reasons you found in an ideal way.

A rational perspective is the best way to understand reality.

To rationalize, you must do the following two things:

Your relationship is different from other people's marriage experiences.

You two are unique individuals, not like everyone else.

If you're anxious because you see that other people's marriages aren't happy, you need to see the difference. Just because other people's marriages aren't happy doesn't mean your relationship won't work out.

Look at the good aspects of your relationship. This will give you confidence.

Second, understand that you have the power to change the status quo.

If you are anxious for other reasons, such as someone not being optimistic about your marriage or your own decision that the other person does not meet your own criteria for choosing a spouse, then you need to take control of the situation. You have the time and energy to judge these things, and thus make yourself less anxious.

Third, focus on yourself and take action to improve your own well-being.

For example, when you are anxious and worried, write down those bad things. Be as specific as possible. The writing process itself will make you feel better. It will also help you to judge rationally. Look at whether you feel each other's care, love, and positive response. Consider your strong emotional attachment to each other. Think about the importance of each other in your hearts during your time together. You also said in your description that you know those things are unlikely to happen. Reconfirming that they will not happen will make you feel better.

When you can't control your anxiety, let your mind wander freely. Don't judge or block it out. Allow it to think and see what happens. This way, you don't have to fight against your mind, which will make you feel better. The human brain works better without fighting.

Write down all the things you are worried about and then think of ways to deal with them. If you are worried about trivial matters like the relationship with your mother-in-law, prepare for these things now and see what you can do to avoid them. When you are prepared, these worries will ease.

Talk to your partner. You say you have no one to confide in, but your partner should be fine. You're worried about your married life, and your partner is involved. Talk to them about it. It will make you feel better. Talking about it will make you feel better because negative emotions have a healing effect. Your partner will understand, support you, and give you suggestions, which will also make you feel better.

Tell yourself that there is no perfect partner, no perfect marriage, because there is no perfect person. Know that it is in our imperfections that we grow and mature, and in turn feel the beauty and happiness. Tell yourself this over and over again until it becomes true. You can do something to improve the situation.

Take action and all kinds of negative emotions in your heart will naturally be resolved slowly. Action is the enemy of all kinds of negative emotions.

I am confident that my answer will help you. If you want to communicate further, click "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation" at the bottom, and I will communicate with you one-on-one.

Hello, question asker! I'm Evan, and I'm here to help.

From what the author says, it seems like she's feeling a bit anxious and afraid of marriage because she doesn't know what to expect. I can relate! I'm sure you're feeling the same way. It's natural to feel pressure when you're about to enter a new family and have to navigate all the relationships you'll be dealing with.

It's true that managing a marriage and entering a family is a big step. It's not just about having a strong relationship, but also about navigating the challenges that come with it. Entering a family is a big adjustment, and it's natural to feel stressed about it. It's not easy to face various problems in a new family, but you've got this!

It's totally normal to feel uncertain about the future when you're facing married life. It's a big change! How can you deal with your negative emotions and manage your future marriage?

Here, give the questioner a little pat on the shoulder and some strength. When talking to your current boyfriend, you can calmly, sincerely, and clearly share your feelings and talk about things that matter to you. Since the questioner asked the question on the platform, I'd also like to give the questioner some quick advice:

It's okay to accept your current state.

It's totally normal to feel anxious and stressed when you're facing an unknown married life. Many people feel the same way, so don't worry! It's a normal reaction to the situation.

So don't feel sad, sweetie. Just tell yourself that this is normal. At the same time, you can also try to communicate with your boyfriend. Tell him your inner feelings about married life. Tell him that you're very happy to enter married life with him. But you're currently unable to calm your negative emotions. You're not sure what your married life will be like. You're not sure whether you can handle the relationship with your mother-in-law. You hope that he can give you time to adjust after marriage. You hope that he can be more understanding. I believe he will understand you.

Let's chat about your future!

It's totally normal to want to discuss your relationship with your boyfriend or talk about what your future life together might look like. It's also a great idea to share how you feel about each other's progress. To get the ball rolling, why not ask your boyfriend how your relationship has developed over time?

Have some relationship and future discussions: "What made you first think we should start dating? I'd love to know what the biggest change you've noticed in me since we started dating is."

What are my strengths and weaknesses as a girlfriend? I'd love to hear your thoughts on how I can improve!

"What do you think about our future? I'd love to hear about your plans for the future!"

"I have some ideas about the future. Would you like to hear them?"

Have a chat with your boyfriend about your relationship.

If you're feeling a little uneasy about married life, why not have a chat with your boyfriend about your relationship? It's always a good idea to try to keep things objective and calm when discussing anything like this.

If you notice that you and your partner are having problems, try to keep an open mind and don't get too emotional. Focus on building a stronger relationship together. This will also help you both deal with the relationship with your in-laws when you start a family.

If you want to tell your boyfriend that marriage is something you're not quite ready for, it's okay! Just let him know that you care about him and your relationship, and that you want it to be perfect.

"If you want to marry me, I'd love for you to wait until I'm ready."

It's time to have a heart-to-heart about some emotional issues between you two.

It might seem easier to let things work themselves out and avoid difficult topics, but avoiding them will only make things worse.

Instead, take the time to chat about it. The person asking can say, "I'm feeling a bit nervous about getting married."

"I would really love to find some time to chat with you."

It's so important to remember that avoiding these difficult issues will only make things slowly get worse and eventually gradually destroy your relationship. Try to have a calm and honest conversation with him about your problems.

"Or, "I need to talk to you about getting married, and I really hope you can keep an open mind."

Do your best to be as honest as you can about how you're feeling.

It's important to find out if you're avoiding talking about your feelings. Take some time to think about the reasons why, and then explain them to him.

Tell him, "I know I've been feeling a lot of pressure recently about getting married. I've thought about why, and I think it's just my way of protecting myself."

"I have always been the type of person who thinks more. I feel pressure and confusion about the future, but I'm sure we can work through it together. I hope that couples can be honest with each other, and I hope you can discuss this with me patiently."

Be patient, my friend.

If you run into any issues, it's best to communicate in a patient and compassionate manner. The person asking should be understanding and try to express their thoughts to their boyfriend.

If there's a conflict or problem, it's important to stay calm and try to understand each other's perspectives. You could say something like, "I don't want to put too much pressure on you."

I really hope we can talk about this calmly and patiently, and that you can listen to me in the same way. I promise we can talk about anything frankly and calmly.

"

It's so important to be honest about your goals and intentions.

When it comes to tough topics, it's best to face them head-on. Whether you're looking to strengthen your relationship or work through a problem, it's important to be open and honest about what you want.

For example, you could say, "I'd love to chat with you about how we can make our relationship last. Do you have any great plans for our future married life?"

How can we make sure we stay on the same page as a married couple? Do you think it's okay to start thinking about the future of our marriage now?

"Ask him, "Hey, can we talk about the future of our marriage? I sometimes really feel neglected."

"I'm really worried about the future, so I hope you can reassure me and give me confidence. I hope you can take my feelings seriously."

You're about to embark on a wonderful journey into married life! In a marriage, honesty is the golden rule. Love, respect, and courtesy are the essential ingredients for a happy married life.

Be honest with your loved one, show them how much you appreciate them, and try to understand each other better.

I really hope my answer helps!

Questioner:

My name is Kelly Shui, and I am a heart detective.

Your anxious demeanor evokes a sense of empathy. Instead of perceiving your expectations for a new phase of life, I identify some concerns.

Let's discuss this further.

Recently, you have exhibited symptoms of pre-marital anxiety.

You are perceptive and have a good understanding of your own emotions. However, you also experience periods of instability and anger, and you tend to feel depressed when you are alone.

My hypothesis is as follows:

1. Please clarify whether the individual in question is someone you love.

2. Did your parents make the decision for you?

3. The more distressed you are at night, the more uncertain you are about marriage, and the more concerned you are about potential negative outcomes. You are unable to regulate your emotions.

Please advise as to the duration of this issue.

If you are emotionally unstable and prone to losing your temper, it is likely that you have not been understood by others. Displaying anger is a way of expressing your emotions.

4. Would you be open to exploring the option of professional assistance?

You indicate that you lack an individual with whom you can discuss these matters, as though no one can comprehend them.

A professional counselor can assist you in exploring your emotions and identifying the underlying factors.

A counselor can serve as a neutral third party, offering support and guidance in expressing feelings and exploring alternative perspectives.

5. Originally, the individual with whom you could communicate before marriage was your future spouse. However, I do not see any mention of this individual in this text.

If he is unable to provide support, who will you turn to for assistance after marriage?

Let us discuss the causes of our bad temper and how we can better understand our emotions.

1. It is possible that we are experiencing a range of negative emotions, including anger, anxiety, tension, fear, frustration, sadness, and pain.

Then, acknowledge these feelings, identify them, and document each one in writing.

2: All emotions have the potential to cause psychological changes in individuals, which can even have a negative impact on our physical well-being. If you have been experiencing these effects for more than a few months or if they have persisted for an extended period, it is advisable to seek professional counseling.

3: Express anger in a reasonable manner.

It is not advisable to suppress your feelings in life. It is important to learn to express anger appropriately, speak your mind with awareness, and express your emotions truthfully.

As an illustration, you can communicate with your parents in an open and honest manner, discussing the types of behavior that cause you discomfort.

As an illustration, you may choose to inform the relevant individual of your feelings by stating, "I was sad when I heard you say that just now."

As an example, you may wish to share your expectations with your parents, stating, "I hope it will be like this," and then express your thoughts.

If we express our emotions in a constructive manner, while articulating our needs, we can also rebuild our relationship with ourselves and others, and find a new balance in our relationships.

The questioner also mentioned the ability to lose one's temper and experience negative moods, which are both acceptable and have been observed.

4. Through learning, we can modify our perceptions.

Professional counselors can assist in transforming thoughts and misconceptions about events, which can help clients better control their emotions.

It is important to understand the underlying reasons for your anger, accept them, and work through them in a constructive manner. Evaluating the rationality of your emotions is also crucial.

As an alternative, you might consider finding another solution.

From a different perspective, we can re-evaluate and interpret the meaning of events, transforming our emotions.

If we gain an understanding of our emotions, we can become in control of them and learn to regulate them effectively, thereby preventing them from taking control of us.

The greatest benefit is to ensure our own health and well-being.

If emotions are not addressed and allowed to persist, they can have detrimental effects on our well-being and that of our loved ones. It is therefore crucial to seek professional assistance when needed.

It is important to understand anxiety correctly.

It is not uncommon to experience a degree of anxiety before embarking on a new phase of life.

Depression is defined as being troubled by past experiences, while anxiety is defined as worrying about future outcomes.

If your assessment is that the situation is not as dire as you fear, or that it may not even occur, but you are unable to stop worrying,

It would be beneficial to set aside time to address these concerns, allowing yourself to fully explore the worries and anxieties that you have. Documenting these feelings can also be helpful.

It is advisable to concentrate on the present situation.

Your concerns are valid and demonstrate that you are a thoughtful individual.

1. I am apprehensive about the prospect of marriage, uncertain of my preparedness for it, and concerned that my future life may not be as fulfilling as I imagine it to be.

There is no definitive answer to this question. As you navigate marriage and relationships, you will gradually gain insights and understanding about yourself.

Do not idealize. If problems arise, they can be solved.

2. Learn to set boundaries.

The concern is the ability to navigate the routine aspects of married life and the relationship with the mother-in-law.

It is important to establish your own boundaries in order to gradually create a separation between the nuclear family and the original family. The future focus will be on you and your husband, with your future children working together to build this new family unit.

It is essential to understand from the outset that your mother-in-law is your mother-in-law and that mutual respect is paramount. You must also be aware of your own boundaries and how to behave in a professional manner. Your mother-in-law will take time to get to know you.

It is therefore advisable to discuss any outstanding issues at the outset.

3. Prior to marriage, you and your family are a unified entity. Post-marriage, you become the head of a new family unit, surrounded by individuals who may exert influence.

If we refrain from allowing others to interfere excessively after marriage, we can more clearly express our feelings.

4. Personal development is essential. It is important to be independent, to grow at a steady pace, to understand oneself, and to take responsibility for one's actions.

Marriage is a learning experience, and we are all in this together.

Let us offer our support and encouragement collectively.

I wish you success and happiness in your endeavors.

I extend my warmest regards to you and wish you well.

Hello, question owner!

If you can, give yourself a big hug! It'll comfort your anxious and emotionally unstable heart that is out of control because of facing marriage!

I don't know how old you are or when you started to feel anxious about marriage, but I can see that you have a great sense of awareness!

They know they're in a tricky spot, but they're ready to face the challenge head-on. They're ready to take on the world!

And the thought of the many exciting challenges they will face after marriage fills them with a healthy dose of panic and anxiety, doesn't it?

Marriage is an amazing second stage of personal growth! It's a way for an individual to truly break away from family attachment and become independent and enter society.

It's a wonderful way of facing new and numerous responsibilities. For a boy, marriage allows him to become a man in society and learn to take responsibility.

For a girl, marriage means she will become a mother and get to experience and try out a new social role! These experiences can be both surprising and worrying, but also exciting. A person facing fears about marriage generally has the following reasons:

First, early childhood experiences, childhood trauma, and the unhappy marriage of their parents affect an individual's excessive worry about marriage. But there's good news! There are ways to overcome these challenges and embrace the exciting journey of marriage.

This creates a complex of being afraid of the well rope after being bitten by a snake once, which makes him afraid to face marriage. But, there is hope! With the right support, guidance, and encouragement, he can overcome his fears and embrace the exciting journey of marriage.

Second, for someone who is used to enjoying a solitary lifestyle, experiencing married life is like venturing into uncharted territory—and it's a thrilling adventure!

Many uncertainties about the future give rise to many worries. But don't worry! There are ways to overcome these challenges and embrace the exciting future that awaits you.

Third, when an individual is biologically young and overly dependent on their family, marriage means having the incredible opportunity to embark on a new journey and leave the comfort of their family of origin.

Your own family of origin is like a baby being weaned, full of deep separation anxiety about the future. But don't worry! This is totally normal.

Fourth, an overly sensitive and suspicious personality creates a lot of catastrophic thinking, imagining marriage as a way to push oneself into hell, a path. But there's no need to worry! You can overcome these fears and embrace the exciting journey of marriage.

And that must be overcome! The resulting sense of fear is just a small obstacle to overcome.

Fifth, let's talk about a common challenge: fear of intimacy and sex. This is often an important factor that prevents someone from entering into marriage.

How can this be resolved?

The most important thing you can do is to first become aware and reflect on which of the many elements you are worried about are actually happening. Which are just catastrophic scenarios created by your own imagination?

That have been created by your own imagination?

In addition, you should definitely talk to your married sisters or close friends of the same age about what their lives are like in marriage!

And there's more! You might find that, despite your fears, you'll be pleasantly surprised. For example, when you truly experience being a woman taking care of your own child as a mother, you'll feel a happiness that ordinary people can hardly imagine.

Also, if you feel that you are afraid to get married precisely because you don't want to be a "mother," it's time to consider what kind of motivation is influencing you!

Are you afraid to face the role of a mother? Don't worry! You can find the answer you're looking for through counseling.

I'm counselor Yao, and I'm here to support and care for you!

Dear question asker,

Upon observing you, I discern your inner anxiety. Simultaneously, I commend your discernment and fortitude in confronting this emotion and proactively seeking an outlet for its expression.

Please describe the event that precipitated this emotional state. At what point did you first experience this emotional state?

Please describe the situation, setting, individuals present, and activities occurring at the time.

You indicate that you are currently experiencing pre-marital anxiety. It is therefore important to remain aware of this. Have you previously experienced this kind of anxiety before you were ready to get married? Did you generate this feeling yourself, or was it generated due to the influence and interference of others in the outside world?

Have you engaged in communication with your partner?

In this era of rapid development, anxiety is a prevalent phenomenon, affecting a significant proportion of the population. Distinguishing between whether anxiety is a fact or a feeling is crucial for understanding and overcoming it.

In this context, I am reminded of a saying: "The person who changes is not the one who solves the problem, but the one who chooses to jump out of the problem." It may be beneficial to adopt a third-party perspective to gain insight into the underlying causes of anxiety. By identifying the root causes, it is possible to gain a deeper understanding and gradually achieve a state of relaxation.

Although anxiety is a self-imposed state, one that traps the individual in an emotional state from which they cannot extricate themselves, it is nevertheless important to be aware of the underlying reasons for their fear.

If you indicate that you are in a negative emotional state when you are alone and that your mood is likely to be low at night, it is important to consider what your emotional state is like when you are with other people. You can recall this state and, when you are in a negative emotional state, you can close your eyes and imagine the existence of Tai, which should help to promote inner peace.

In the event of a miraculous occurrence, resulting in the cessation of your distressing emotional state, what would be the nature of your circumstances? What actions have you taken to facilitate such an outcome?

It is not possible to make specific suggestions in the absence of detailed information regarding the individual's circumstances. However, the following general recommendations may prove helpful in alleviating the negative affect experienced.

Firstly, it is essential to adjust one's mindset and cease the perpetuation of negative emotions.

Anxiety is a result of excessive thinking. It is a mere feeling, not a tangible entity. Therefore, it is imperative to adjust one's mentality in a timely manner. The present moment is a potent instrument for addressing challenges. Only by aligning one's mentality with a constructive mindset can one effectively mitigate negative emotions and thoughts.

It is recommended that the books It's Worth Living and Wang Yangming's Psychology of the Heart be consulted for guidance on adjusting one's mindset.

Secondly, it is advisable to engage in activities that will distract oneself from the source of distress.

At one point in time, I was also afflicted by anxiety and unable to extricate myself from its grasp. If one wishes to provide respite to a loved one, it is essential to engage in activities that serve as a distraction and occupy one's attention. Pursuing an interest or engaging in an activity that captures one's interest can help to enhance one's focus and facilitate a sense of accomplishment, which can in turn be beneficial.

Subsequently, it is essential to enhance one's awareness and clarify one's objectives.

It is not uncommon to experience these emotions; however, it is crucial to understand their underlying causes and the factors that contribute to their onset. Once these factors are identified, it is then possible to ascertain one's desired outcome. Only when a clear goal is established can one effectively disengage from the emotional state and engage in more productive actions.

In the face of adversity, it is more advantageous to engage in action rather than mere contemplation. This assertion is not mere rhetoric; it necessitates a profound insight.

It is recommended that you engage in communication with a suitable individual.

It is not uncommon for individuals to experience a need to release their emotions. This need can have a negative impact on one's physical health. In your description, you indicated a lack of available outlets for emotional expression. It is therefore recommended that you engage in conversation with your partner or a professional counselor, as this may prove beneficial.

Indeed, at times, our anxiety stems from a sense of discontent with the current situation, coupled with a recognition of our inability to alter it. This can lead to an endless cycle of challenges. In such instances, it is crucial to take a step back, identify the underlying causes, and clarify our objectives.

This will assist in resolving the confusion in your heart.

Getting married is an exciting new stage in life! It means forming a new family with another person and placing your personal life in the context of two families. It's natural to feel a little nervous and anxious at that time, but it's also a wonderful opportunity to start a new chapter in your life!

Guess what! Even happy events like moving, getting into the ideal university, or getting married can bring stress. But here's the good news: the right amount of pressure can help us value what we are experiencing and cope with the changes more easily.

However, if the anxiety caused by this pressure exceeds the state you can bear and relieve, then it means it is perhaps a bit too much. Don't worry, though! I'm here to help. I hope the following sharing can help you to some extent to alleviate the negative impact of anxiety.

If you're stuck in a rut thinking about the worst-case scenario, it's time for a change! Switch to a different picture and start seeing things in a new light.

If your mind is filled with all kinds of frightening images that make you feel uneasy, then you can choose to banish that fear! Replace those images with something more positive, like the excitement of a wedding day or the joy of a loving partnership. Your mind is a powerful tool, and you have the power to choose what you focus on.

The human imagination is incredibly rich! While we can't control our thoughts, we can choose to replace those fearful images with something more positive. For instance, we can imagine a wedding full of joy and love, or the life of two people who are more colorful than one. Our partner's care and attention can brighten our lives in ways we never imagined!

The non-stop excitement of a wedding!

The life of two people is so much more colorful than that of one person!

Your partner's loving, attentive care for you!

The sheer joy of welcoming a new life into the world!

...

Coins have two sides! When we only see the A side, we forget what the B side looks like. But when we have the opportunity to remind ourselves that there is also a B side, it's like we're turning a light on in the room. The influence of the A side is therefore weakened, and we can see things more clearly.

Two, you can put your anxiety into the surrounding environment and use the power of others to accompany you in dealing with anxiety.

So-called pre-marital anxiety has a direct relationship with marriage, which is great news!

Do you already have a marriage partner?

1. If so, then the imagined anxiety has the incredible opportunity to be directly tested in life!

Fear of marriage? Check! Fear of not being prepared? Check! Fear of not being able to live the life I want? Check! Fear of not being able to handle the trivial matters of married life? Check! Fear of not being able to handle the relationship with the mother-in-law? Check!

It's all about the other person's family and getting along with each other, which is a great opportunity for you to make a positive impact!

You have the power to turn "being dragged along by everyone around you" into a positive! It'll take some work, but you can do it! You'll go from feeling helpless to sharing your anxiety with the people close to you.

It's time to talk! Have a heart-to-heart with your partner about your anxieties. You never know what solutions might emerge from this conversation. If there's no immediate fix, you can brainstorm ways to ease these concerns together.

When you have a practical plan that you can touch and hold, the fear of the unknown will fall away by itself! And the support of loved ones around you will also help to reduce and dispel such anxieties.

2. If not, then finding a reliable partner is a great way to beat pre-marital anxiety!

The good news is that all pre-marital anxieties come from uncertainty. And the even better news is that finding a reliable partner can largely reduce the impact of such uncertainty!

And there's more! You can also talk to your friends about how married people deal with these anxieties. Talk to more people and you'll understand these anxieties and their possible solutions from different perspectives. Focus less on your own thoughts and you'll get more realistic tests from others. The unknown will become more known, and your anxiety will ease!

I really hope the above sharing can bring you inspiration!

I'm a psychologist who doesn't focus on human nature. I'm here to help you with your heart! I wish you all the best!

Good day. My name is Liu from Yixinli, and I hope the following answers will be of assistance to you.

[How to interpret anxiety] According to the questionnaire, your anxiety primarily stems from navigating romantic and intimate relationships. When anxiety arises, it is not effectively redirected through focusing on work and life, and it becomes internalized, manifesting as anxiety.

Let us examine the nature of anxiety. From the perspective of the types of anxiety, there are two main categories and six types, each of which contains a need.

1. Anxiety about expectations in reality. From a results-oriented perspective, this kind of anxiety encourages heightened alertness, which is conducive to activating and maintaining the ability to solve problems.

This type of anxiety is indicative of a person's continued viability.

2. Anxiety caused by internal conflict. When an individual perceives the college entrance exam as a means of "abandoning one's parents," it can lead to an increase in anxiety levels, which may impair their ability to answer questions effectively and potentially result in a failed exam.

This is a common test anxiety disorder, which can be described as the "fear of doing too well" because the better one performs, the more one can "abandon one's parents."

The first category is that of superego anxiety, which is caused by a moral superego.

The second category is castration anxiety, which is characterized by a lack of self-confidence in one's ability to fulfill the roles of either a man or a woman.

The third category is victimization anxiety, which can be defined as a situation where the victimization object invades from within, similar to how rabies can affect an individual.

Anxiety related to separation is another common issue. This can be caused by a traumatic experience such as the mother leaving while breastfeeding, which can lead to a fear of being abandoned.

For example, they may decline social invitations, reasoning that if they do not participate, the situation will not become untenable.

Procrastination: The perception that the termination of a relationship will result in the termination of the relationship with the individual involved, accompanied by the fear that this will reactivate the trauma associated with separation.

It is important to note that repeatedly and actively terminating friendships or intimate relationships may avoid the passive feeling of being abandoned.

fifthly, loss anxiety is the anxiety associated with the potential loss of a loved one or source of affection, such as a parent no longer loving you.

The sixth category is disintegrative anxiety, which is characterized by feelings of losing one's sense of self, difficulty in finding a sense of self, and feelings of emptiness and panic. Despite the belief that one's existence is derived from oneself, there is an inability to identify a sense of self.

Your situation may be classified under categories 1 and 6.

It is a common mistake to associate anxiety with illness, which can result in the development of obsessive thoughts. It is important to recognize that anxiety is a normal human experience and should be managed effectively.

The correct response is, "Anxiety, anxiety, I do my own."

From a psychoanalytical perspective, your anxiety seems to indicate that the unreal can be a source of creativity, and that uncertainty can lead to anxiety. Being swept along by others may indicate a passive reliance on others for self-function.

I am of the opinion that the world and I are one and the same, and that you are loved. If you are unable to adapt on your own, I would suggest seeking the advice of a teacher or other professional to assist you.

Hello, questioner! You asked, "It seems like you're suffering from pre-marital anxiety lately." First of all, I want to commend you for being aware of your emotions.

Emotions are neither good nor bad. They are simply a signal from the body that something may be wrong and that we need to take care of ourselves. Let's address your question together.

You say you have unstable emotions, that you always lose your temper, and that when you are alone, you feel very low. The worse it gets, the worse your mood becomes.

You are now very confused, afraid to get married, always worrying that something bad will happen, and unable to control yourself. There is no one around to talk to, and it seems that no one can understand.

I'm not sure if I'm ready to embrace a new phase of my life. I know things aren't as serious as you think, and they may not even happen, but I can't help worrying.

Every day, you think about impossible possibilities and can't control yourself. You are afraid of getting married, afraid of not being ready, afraid that your future life won't be as good as you think, afraid of not being able to handle the trivial matters of married life, and afraid of not being able to handle the relationship with your mother-in-law. You need to stop letting these fears control you.

You need to take control and stop letting other people influence you. What can you do to relieve the emotional pressure you are feeling?

Your excessive anxiety needs to be seen, heard, understood, and channelled.

Emotions are neither good nor bad. In fact, negative emotions have many benefits. They alert us to when our bodies are not feeling well and need more attention and care.

Your emotions are your body's way of telling you that you've been feeling anxious or sad for too long. They're your body's way of saying, "Take care of yourself." So, your anxious feelings are not entirely bad, are they?

You can face your anxiety now. You need to see, listen to, understand, and vent your negative emotions.

You say that in life you can't find someone to talk to, and this is actually the norm for adults. Let's be honest, when we grow up and become adults, we find that although there are hundreds of people in our WeChat contacts and phone book, when we really want to find someone to talk to, we open our phone and look through our contacts for a long time, only to find that there is no one there.

You may worry that the other person is busy and won't have time to listen when you call. Or you may worry that they won't understand you. Whatever the reason, you have to accept that there will always be some kind of unreasonable reason, and you just have to bear it all alone. If you keep negative emotions inside, your body will not cope.

There is a thing called "writing therapy" in psychology.

Writing therapy is an effective method for addressing negative emotions like depression, sadness, anxiety, and discomfort. When you're unable or unwilling to talk about these feelings, writing can be a powerful tool for expressing them. For instance, if you're feeling anxious about a specific issue and know that worrying won't help, you can write about your concerns and the anxiety they cause.

The amazing thing about writing therapy is that it can sometimes make our emotions disappear and calm our minds. It is best to prepare a notebook specifically for writing about your moods, including positive emotions as well as negative ones.

Writing therapy is an effective method for releasing emotions and gaining self-awareness.

If you just want to talk, find a listener or counselor.

If you don't want to write, you're not a writer, you're writing too slowly, it takes too much time and effort, or you're too anxious to write, then find a listener or counselor and talk to them.

Psychological counselors and listening counselors are professionals in psychology with good training and keen awareness of the needs of the person confiding in them. They can meet your needs well. I am not trying to sell you a counselor or a listening counselor. I am just making a suggestion to help you find a way to release your emotions. You can decide whether or not to seek help based on your own situation.

I'm certain my answer will be helpful to you. The world and I love you!

Hello. I can tell you're facing a new stage in life and marriage. You're under a lot of pressure and feeling anxious.

I hope my answer gives you warmth and support.

1. Accept your emotions.

For women, marriage means leaving home, going to an unfamiliar place, making new friends, and joining a new family. It's not easy.

Hug yourself and tell yourself it's okay to feel this way.

2. Find the cause

Why is marriage so hard?

Marriage is not just about two people. It's also about two families. Both partners must adjust to the new family, environment, and roles.

These are all new to us before marriage, and we are afraid of the unknown future.

Second, marriage is more expensive than dating. We are afraid we have made the wrong choice. Marriage is not only a legal contract, but also a responsibility towards each other and both families.

When we lack confidence, we feel anxious.

The environment also affects it. Nowadays, negative events like mother-in-law-daughter-in-law disputes and marital infidelity are common. It's easy to think these problems are about us.

We worry our marriage will have problems too.

3. Find a solution

I don't know how the questioner's relationship with his/her spouse is like. You can talk to your spouse about your feelings and your life plan after marriage.

Talking helps you release emotions and pressure while building confidence for your future marriage.

If you can visit the other person's home, you can see what it's like and meet their family. You can also check out the place for yourself.

Maybe it's not as bad as you think.

Make yourself feel safer. Often, we worry about the future because we don't feel safe, which makes it hard to deal with change.

List the problems you are worried about and what you can do to deal with them. If you don't have the skills or resources to deal with them now, what can you learn or where can you get help?

If you're worried about your mother-in-law, you can learn how to handle it or ask others for tips.

Starting a new life and family is hard, but you can do it. Keep up the good work.