I tried, but I couldn't. What should I do to control myself from thinking about him?

Good day, young lady. I perceive your current state of confusion, and I extend my support in the form of a comforting embrace.

It is evident that you are grappling with some relationship issues. I extend my support and offer a gesture of comfort.

Despite your best efforts, you have been unable to move on from this relationship after six years of attempting to do so. It is reasonable to conclude that this experience has caused you significant distress.

The human brain is comprised of two distinct systems: the emotional brain and the rational brain.

The "rational brain" indicates that it is time to terminate the relationship with him.

Nevertheless, the "emotional brain" is reluctant to let go and unable to do so.

As a result, you are now experiencing a state of internal conflict and emotional entanglement.

The question thus arises as to how one might proceed in letting go of a relationship with a male partner.

It is advised that a formal farewell letter be written, with no restrictions on the number of words or length.

An alternative approach is the "empty chair technique."

The "empty chair technique" involves sitting in one chair and imagining the boy sitting in the other empty chair. Then, the individual speaks their thoughts and feelings aloud to the imagined boy, which may include expressions of unwillingness and reluctance.

Frequently, after verbalizing one's thoughts, the individual will experience a sense of emotional release.

In the event that one is uncertain as to the correct application of the aforementioned "empty chair technique," it is recommended that one seek the guidance of a qualified professional counselor.

It is my sincere hope that the problem you are currently experiencing can be resolved in the near future.

At this juncture, I am unable to offer any further insight.

It is my sincere hope that the responses I have provided will prove both helpful and inspiring to you, young lady. I am the individual who provides answers on this platform and who studies assiduously on a daily basis.

On behalf of Yixinli, I extend my best wishes to you and the world.

It would be beneficial to ascertain the other person's daily behavior. This will help you determine whether their actions align with your values and whether they exhibit any personality traits that are problematic. If the other person has demonstrated shortcomings in certain areas and has acted inappropriately,

It is then necessary to establish clear boundaries and take control of the situation. Even if the other person is highly admirable and the environment in which you grew up was challenging, it is not conducive to your personal growth. If you are already determined to end the relationship,

There must be a reason for your feelings, and it may be that the other person has indeed done something that you find very unacceptable. Perhaps the other person has done many things wrong, which makes you feel very uncomfortable, but the other person is not without some benefit, right? The other person may also have some things that attract you, and the other person has some advantages and strengths.

You may feel that you cannot function without him. The other person is like a kind of poisonous honey: very sweet, but with an underlying toxicity. He will gradually take over your life, making you increasingly restless and unable to move forward. At this point, you may realize that you have entered a toxic relationship.

It is important not to stagnate, as this could result in a negative shift in your self-perception. Avoid becoming more ignorant or indecisive. It is essential to understand the appropriateness of your own behaviour and decision-making. It is also crucial to recognise the impact the other person has had on your life. If you still miss him, it is important to acknowledge this.

It is possible that some positive feelings may be present, but it is not yet appropriate to say that you love each other. The relationship is likely to be very complicated and not entirely straightforward. If a breakup is necessary, it is advisable to do so as soon as possible.

If the other party has not compromised your values or caused you significant disappointment, you may wish to consider whether they could make changes to improve the situation. Counselling can help you and the other party to clarify your needs and avoid any regrets.

If you wish to exert control over your emotions and avoid thinking about him, you will have to consider why he evokes such strong feelings. Is it due to his physical appearance, his body, or the allure of money? Or is it his gentleness that still captures your attention? By identifying these factors, you can gain clarity on what attracts you and what you find unappealing. Seeking counseling can help you address these issues and move forward.

Please advise.

I am Gu Yi. I am modest and unassuming, and I have remained so throughout my life.

The question thus arises as to whether the inability to let go is a result of a lack of willingness to do so, or whether it is a consequence of habituation.

Over the course of the six years that you were together, I believe that your relationship evolved from an initial romantic attachment to a more familial bond. The various experiences and interactions that you had during this period have shaped your relationship in such a way that you have become accustomed to the presence of the other person. Consequently, when this relationship suddenly changes, it is challenging for you to accept, as you will likely revert to your previous patterns of behavior, whether intentionally or unintentionally.

In the context of a recent separation, it is evident that the individual in question has attempted a multitude of strategies to overcome the emotional distress associated with the dissolution of the relationship. However, despite these efforts, a persistent sense of longing for the former partner persists. The individual's thoughts often dwell on the potential for reconciliation and the imagined alternative course of events had a second chance been afforded. This contemplation is accompanied by a sense of uncertainty and a recognition of the possibility of alternative outcomes.

The sudden disappearance of a long-term emotional attachment can be challenging to accept, particularly when that attachment has become a routine aspect of one's daily life. Common locations that may evoke feelings of sadness and isolation, such as a particular shopping street, a barbecue stand frequented, or a grocery store, can serve as reminders of the individual's previous relationship and the subsequent shift in their circumstances.

It is recommended that the following advice be considered:

The dissolution of the six-year relationship can be attributed to a multitude of factors, including the nature of the relationship itself and the accumulation of minor disagreements and misunderstandings over time. Consequently, it is imperative to take the necessary steps to bring the relationship to a peaceful conclusion and embark on a new path.

It would be beneficial to engage in activities that serve as a distraction. This could be an opportune time to pursue hobbies that were previously unattainable due to time constraints, as well as activities that have been on one's list of desired pursuits but have not yet been undertaken. It is also advisable to temporarily disengage from the world of the two of you and explore one's personal boundaries. A crucial question to consider is whether one can still lead a fulfilling life in the absence of a romantic partner.

A breakup does not necessarily signify the definitive end of a relationship. There is a possibility of encountering the same individual again in the future, given the unpredictable nature of serendipity. It is, therefore, advisable to strive for the best and allow fate to take its course. The period spent in a romantic relationship should have been characterised by a multitude of experiences, with minimal attention paid to other relationships. This offers an opportunity to reflect on the diverse range of emotions that life has to offer, beyond the confines of romantic love. These emotions, when harnessed effectively, can serve as a source of fulfilment in the moment and as a means of regulating one's thoughts.

I wish you the best of success.

Dear questioner, I am the listening therapist Luo Zhangqin. I want to tell you that I feel warm ❤️❤️, which you may not understand.

You found warmth in your pain. I was young too, confused about love, but time taught me this experience is worth treasuring.

You will look back on this with your future partner and see it as a beautiful memory. Imagine you love each other and share your youthful memories together. At that time, you will feel the power of love even more and will cherish the person in front of you even more.

This is a warm, sweet, and real experience. There was pain along the way, but there was also a sense of loss and love! It's normal to want to hold on to such a beautiful feeling. You can think about it and miss it.

It's okay. Everyone longs for something beautiful and sweet.

We all have had such a period or several periods of youthful memories engraved in our hearts. Those warm and bittersweet memories make us nostalgic.

Sometimes it's mixed with sadness. So what? It's a unique emotional experience that belongs to the two of you. This experience is part of you. It's integrated into your memories, your flesh, and even your dreams.

It's like the spring breeze, bringing us warmth, sunshine, and rain. We long to hold onto this beauty forever, and we are not wrong, and we need not feel ashamed.

I want to tell you that this feeling you have is love. There are many kinds of love, but perhaps the bond is not yet strong enough to reach the place you want to go. You can't let go, so you doubt yourself and may even hate yourself. You can't bear to be harsh on him, so you blame yourself instead. (Hug you.)

This kind of separation wound needs time to heal. Take the time to reminisce, and you can constantly warm up those memories. When the time comes, remember to read it, give it a hug, put it away carefully, and put it in a corner where you want to put it. Continue with our lives. If you really miss it, then read it again, and then pack it away properly. Return to reality, and maybe the next beautiful moment will appear in the instant you finish packing.

You may forget for a long time, but you will remember eventually. And when you do, you will still be able to love.

Trust yourself. Give yourself time to say goodbye to this memory! ?

Hello, dear questioner! I'm Jia Ao, and I'm here to help.

I saw your question on the platform. It sounds like you've been trying to move on for six years, but you just can't let go of him. It's understandable! It's hard to imagine a life without someone you love. Even when you try to talk about it, you still can't let go. From what you've told me, it seems like you have a very strong connection with him. You know you need to move on, but it's just not easy to do. What can I do to help?

Let's have a little chat, my friend.

I'm not sure what caused you to break up, but I can see that the person you can't stop thinking about must have something very attractive about them. There were so many things about him that made you sad, but compared to losing him, nothing else was that important. I can see that you still can't bear to let go of him, and you say you want to know if you actually love him. If this isn't love, then what is it?

It's okay to feel sad and to feel stuck in the past. It's natural to have good memories of the two of you and to care about him. It's normal to feel reluctant and unwilling to let go. If it were an insignificant person, you wouldn't feel this way, right?

I'd love to know how I can stop myself thinking about him!

I'm not sure if you've reached out to him again, tried to salvage your relationship, or told him your true feelings. It can be really hard to let go after six years. Either he's truly amazing, or you're holding on to your feelings for him because you're sentimental and attached. If you've tried to communicate with him and there's still no way to be together, it's okay to try to let go, even if it's difficult.

If you're having trouble letting go of someone, it might help to try letting go of things that remind you of them. That could mean deleting their contact info from your phone and social media, as well as any items you had together. It's okay if it's difficult to let go, and you might need to take some time to work through it.

If you're looking for a way to distract yourself, you're in luck! This is a really effective method. Get busy and let your busy mind forget the past that's making you sad. People you can't let go of will also slowly fade away with the passage of time. You've got this! Exercise, read, listen to music, go out for a walk, chat with friends, try anything that can distract you. If you really can't forget, you don't have to try to forget on purpose. Just leave it to time. The more you hold on to the past, the more painful it will be. You've got this!

It's okay, you're not going back to the past. All your struggles and reminiscing are futile. It's time to let go of the past and start a new life and a new relationship. You can try to improve yourself, become better, stronger, and more independent. That way, when you meet the next relationship, you'll be able to hold on to it more easily and not get hurt so easily.

Remember to love yourself first and take care of your emotions and feelings. This is so important! When you love yourself, you have the energy to love others. Let go of hopeless relationships slowly. Put yourself first. I hope you will get better and better in the future!

I really hope my answer can help you. The world and I love you so much ?

Hello! I give you a 360-degree hug!

Your problems are described in great detail, and your own attempts and efforts, struggles, and so on are written in a way that makes people feel the same way. After reading it, my feeling is that you are an extremely complex individual. In order to forget someone, it has been six years and you still haven't forgotten, which shows how deep the love was.

But at the same time, these six years were also the six years in which you had the chance to learn to love yourself. During these six years, you probably didn't give yourself time to look at your heart, to understand yourself, to ask yourself. But now you can!

You should definitely make more time for your family, friends, and social circles!

It probably only took your ex-boyfriend five seconds to leave you, but you have been stuck in this cocoon for six whole years! The more you loved him, the less you loved yourself.

But in fact, after all this time, you may not have loved him as much as you thought. You were just used to this state of affairs, even if it was an uncomfortable one, and it may still be your comfort zone. But guess what? You can change that!

Just think about it for a moment. If you could somehow forget your ex or just let it go, what would your life be like? You might even have to go on blind dates or work harder at work!

Sometimes, we are unwilling to get out of pain, but in fact, we are protecting ourselves from being hurt. We use a small amount of pain to trade for a greater amount of pain that we have to face. For example, if the breakup is over, then you can no longer use it as an excuse to avoid some responsibilities.

I'm thrilled to recommend a book called "A Change of Heart." It has a fascinating central idea: the person who hurts you is actually yourself.

If you really can't control the urge to think about him, then don't try to control it. But set a time limit for thinking about him, for example, half an hour a day, and do nothing else for that half hour but think about him. You've got this!

You can write about all the wonderful things you did together, or you can write about his shortcomings. Writing about the other person's shortcomings is a great way to move on from them quickly!

You get to decide how long this period of time is – whether it's half an hour or eight hours! It just has to have a time limit. During this time, you can think about him and feel sorry for yourself without guilt.

The best part is that you can even arrange how much time you want to spend thinking in the morning, afternoon, and evening.

Once the time is up, it's time to get on with your day! Stop thinking about him and get stuck into your studies, work, shopping or eating.

I'm so excited for you to try this! It's a great idea to separate your daily routine into parts where you think about him and parts where you do things for yourself. Give it a go!

I am often both Buddhist and depressed, an occasionally positive and motivated counselor, and I love the world!

The words in the lines demonstrate a profound level of affection for him, yet there seems to be a lack of self-love. If love is defined as becoming overly attached to another individual and losing sight of one's own identity, then this form of love is ultimately futile.

The essence of true love is not contingent on whether one is in a relationship or not, but rather on the ability to confront challenges together.

It is not realistic to expect others to meet all of your expectations. Everyone appreciates a person who is appealing in some way, but if you still value them when they are no longer as appealing as they once were and are willing to discover their appeal anew, then that is a genuine expression of love.

The past has left an indelible mark on our hearts, and it cannot be forgotten just by saying it is forgotten. Avoiding the issue will not provide a solution. Only by addressing the pain in our hearts and identifying the key points that we find difficult to forget can we gain insight into what we are clinging to.

It is commonly acknowledged that approximately 90% of romantic relationships ultimately end in disappointment. The majority of these relationships fail due to one of two reasons: the inability of the partners to remain together, or their eventual loss of interest in the relationship.

In the course of our lives, we will encounter numerous individuals and undertake a multitude of experiences. However, only a select few will truly leave an indelible mark on our hearts. Given the significant impact he has already had on our lives, it is essential to allow time to pass. Attempting to erase these memories will only result in the formation of another obsession.

It is not possible to erase thoughts from our minds. Attempting to block them will only result in a negative emotional state. Allowing them to flow freely will enable us to move on from the past and embrace a new phase of our lives.

We travel the globe, encountering the red dust along the way. We are drawn to pick it up, yet we are also guided to let it go.