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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
Hello! I just wanted to give you a warm hug from afar.
I'm glad you've asked for help. I hope my input can support you and help you make progress. From your description, I can tell you want to be respected, understood, and supported.
You feel like your mom always introduces you to men who are at least ten years older than you. This makes you feel disrespected and misunderstood. But your mom probably has good intentions. She might just want someone to take care of you and love you more. But at the end of the day, it's your life and your decision. You get to choose who you want to marry and when.
When you're facing your mother's disrespect, lack of understanding, interference, and control, you can try to express your feelings and needs in a calm and honest way. It's important to respect your mother's opinions, even if you don't agree with them. At the same time, you need to make her understand that marriage is your decision and that there's more to marriage than just the age. You've thought about this decision carefully and have your own reasons for wanting to get married.
So, when your mom pushes you to get married, it's important to respond in a way that shows you're in charge. Say no, but do it kindly. Make sure your mom knows you respect her, but also make it clear you're an adult who makes your own choices.
For instance, when do you plan to get married? What are your expectations of your partner?
What does the kind of intimacy you desire look like? When you can honestly tell your mother this, she may slowly let go of her interference and control over your life's major events because she feels that you have grown up and that you also value this matter of yourself.
So, when you feel aggrieved and angry at your mother's control and interference in your major life events, it's because you still see yourself as a child in front of her and you rely on her a lot. This makes her feel that you're not capable of making choices and taking responsibility for your own major life events. It's something you need to reflect on and become aware of.
I'm Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum. The world and I love you.
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Comments
I totally understand how frustrating and disrespectful that situation must feel. It's important to set boundaries and let them know that harassment is unacceptable, regardless of age or any other factor. Everyone's value doesn't diminish with time, and true worth comes from who you are as a person.
It sounds like you're dealing with some really persistent and inappropriate behavior. No one should have to endure that kind of treatment. Your value is not defined by others' opinions or their actions. Stand firm in knowing your worth and don't let anyone else's disrespect shake your confidence.
The way they are treating you is completely out of line. It's crucial to protect yourself and your peace. Maybe it's time to distance yourself from these individuals. Your value is intrinsic, and no one has the right to make you feel less than or uncomfortable because of their own insecurities.
It's heartbreaking to hear about the discomfort and disgust you're experiencing. The fact that they continue to check despite your refusal shows a lack of respect for your wishes. Remember, your value is immeasurable, and it's not something that can be diminished by anyone's age or inappropriate tactics.
Facing such persistent harassment must be incredibly draining. It's important to surround yourself with people who respect and appreciate you for who you are. Age is just a number, and it certainly doesn't determine someone's value. Trust in your own worth and seek out connections that uplift and support you.