Is it normal that I like a guy who is 9 years older than me? Should I tell him?
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By Anonymous | Published on January 3, 2025
Hello everyone, I've been feeling really blocked these past few days, and I hope you can help me with some advice.
I don't know if there's something wrong with me or what, or if this situation is normal. I'm 18 years old, and I think I should know the kind of liking between men and women.
Here's what happened. It happened a few days ago. A man from Kunming came to teach me how to do things at work. From the moment I first saw him, I had an inexplicable feeling in my heart. He's actually quite ordinary in appearance, but although we didn't spend much time together, just a couple of days, after that he left. I felt like I just liked the feeling. Although I am indeed a bit young, I don't really like the boys my age who just eat, drink and have fun. I still like those who are motivated and capable, who can create a future with me. It's not that I want someone who is super handsome, as long as they are acceptable. I think he is my ideal type.
I really couldn't ask at the time, as I thought he looked in his 30s. Then, over dinner, I found out he was 27. He's like a mentor to me, and everything he says and does is good. But now I don't know what to do. Is there something wrong with me?
Maybe in his eyes I'm just his younger sister. Should I tell him that I like him, or keep it to myself? If I tell him, it will be embarrassing if it doesn't work out, right? I've been thinking about what's wrong with being single for the past two days, but I'm afraid that if he doesn't like me back, I'll just be embarrassing myself. I'm also afraid that my parents won't approve if they find out. I haven't told anyone about this, and it's been bothering me.
You have all seen it all, so I hope you can give me some advice.
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Comments
It sounds like you're experiencing a mix of emotions, and that's completely normal. It's okay to feel uncertain, especially when you meet someone who inspires you in ways you didn't expect. Maybe instead of focusing on the age difference or what others might think, you could try getting to know him better as a friend first. Sometimes, building a solid friendship can lead to understanding where things might go from there.
I understand your concerns about coming across as too young or being seen just as a younger sister. But if this feeling is really important to you, perhaps expressing it in a mature and respectful way could open up a conversation. You don't have to declare your feelings right away; maybe start with sharing how much you value his mentorship and see how he responds.
Feeling this way at 18 is not unusual at all. Many people experience strong attractions or infatuations early on, and it's part of growing up. If you feel that he's someone special, it's worth considering how you want to handle this. Just remember, whatever you decide, it's important to respect his feelings and boundaries as well.
It's great that you're thinking carefully about this situation. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to be patient and give yourself time to figure out your feelings. You don't have to rush into anything. In the meantime, focus on your personal growth and what you want for your future. That way, if you do decide to express your feelings, you'll feel more confident and prepared.
I get that you're worried about potential rejection or embarrassment, but sometimes taking a chance can lead to unexpected opportunities. If you feel that this connection is meaningful, it might be worth having an honest conversation with him. You can always frame it as a way to deepen your friendship, without putting too much pressure on either of you.