Is it strange for a college student not to have the desire to date?

Hello, question asker!

I saw your question on the platform and I'm so excited to help! I totally get where you're coming from. When you see your friends or classmates in pairs, it's only natural to feel a little bit in love with them. It's a totally normal psychological state and totally understandable!

Let's chat!

1. Is it weird not to fall in love during college? Absolutely not! It's actually very common. You can't force love to happen. Sometimes you're too busy with your studies to pay attention to it. Besides, relationships are all about fate. Fate is a very mysterious thing that is not determined by human will.

If you are still confused today, you may encounter someone who makes your heart race tomorrow!

2. You say that many of your friends have been in love, but you don't feel like it. You either put your heart into your studies or you're not ready to enter a relationship. You say you don't like the feeling of being around someone all day, it gets boring, there's no privacy, every morning you wake up wondering what he's doing and what you'll talk about today, your mood rises and falls with his. You're used to being single now and don't want someone else to suddenly intrude into your world.

3. And since you were young, your parents have always told you not to fall in love too early. Now that you're in college, you realize that many beautiful relationships were formed in high school. Adolescent relationships are indeed pure and beautiful, and you're going to find yours! You're not the only one whose mind is not on relationships and who is concentrating on their studies.

4. You are anxious about the future because you don't know what kind of person you will meet to spend the rest of your life with. You don't have the heart for it now, and you don't think you will have much heart for it in the future. If this is really how your life goes, wouldn't that be strange? There is no reason to be like your parents and want to be alone. Since you are aware of this, it also shows that you don't really want to end up lonely. But you can change this! You can choose to be happy and find someone you want to spend your life with. You can do this!

5. The future is still on its way, so you can worry and be anxious, but life goes on. You should continue to work hard and finish your studies well. As for relationships, you can't force them. Everything happens according to fate. You're not strange or abnormal, you're just confused. Your problem lies within you. Either it's the influence of your family of origin, your parents and your upbringing have made you too detached from relationships and you don't understand how to build intimate relationships, or you really haven't put much thought into personal relationships and have concentrated on your studies. There is always a reason. You can examine yourself to see which factor is more prominent.

6. Whatever the reason, don't be so quick to conclude that you are abnormal or that you will always be like this in the future. People, things and situations are always changing and developing. You may not feel like being in a relationship now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring? If you meet someone you like one day, you will probably have already put all these random thoughts behind you.

7. Don't be afraid to go out and have fun with friends! After studying, go to more club activities, make more friends, go out and see more, spend more time with classmates and friends. Whatever you do together, just try not to be alone. If you stay alone for a long time, you will be most likely to think too much, and the more you think, the more likely you are to be hard on yourself. This will make it difficult for you to adjust your state of mind. So, get out there and have some fun!

8. Nothing is strange, everything is temporary. Just think of it as if you haven't met the person who makes your heart flutter. Just work hard and be the best you can be, and wait for the right person to come along. And when they do, you'll know!

I am proud and uninhibited, and I love the world! ♥

Greetings,

Firstly, there is no unified standard for the onset of romantic love. For the individual in question, this may have occurred during adolescence, when feelings for the opposite sex are more likely to develop. The individual may have agreed with the values of not falling in love too early and focusing on their studies, which resulted in them missing the period when it was easiest to fall in love. Currently, the individual is more mature in their thinking and may become more selective about the opposite sex. The individual is seeking a pure relationship, rather than a mere formality of two people being together.

Secondly, your description indicates that you are more mature than your peers. Typically, mature girls find boys their age to be childish and are less likely to be attracted to them. Furthermore, at the age of 18 or 19, being unprepared to fall in love and to enter a relationship is a common occurrence.

It is important to note that the world is diverse, and individuals have the autonomy to determine how they wish to live their lives, provided that they do not infringe upon the rights of others and are content with their own self-image. For the time being, if one is not inclined to pursue romantic relationships, it is perfectly acceptable to engage in activities that bring one joy and fulfilment.

There is no disadvantage to be gained from this course of action, and one's life may become more stimulating as a result.

Ultimately, the decision to fall in love is contingent upon one's personal circumstances and needs. If and when one desires a committed relationship, that is when one's season of love will begin.

The phenomenon of falling in love is contingent upon the maturation of both the body and the mind. Prior to the advent of romantic feelings, it is advisable to engage in other pursuits and to await the emergence of these feelings.

Hi there! I just wanted to send you a warm hug from afar.

I can tell you're feeling confused, helpless, and like you need to be understood, accepted, and supported.

From what you've said, it seems like you're not looking to fall in love, but you're unsure of how to navigate relationships. You feel like getting close to someone means losing a part of yourself, and that your needs depend on the other person.

It's important to remember that a happy relationship is all about putting the "we" first. It's about being there for each other and supporting each other's needs. But it's also about having your own identity and being independent. Sometimes, though, things can get out of balance. If one person in the relationship is constantly giving without getting anything in return, it can lead to feelings of frustration and anger. These feelings can build up over time and start to affect the way we interact with each other. It's crucial to be aware of these feelings and respond to them in a positive way. If we don't, they can lead to unhealthy behaviors like suppressing our emotions or even damaging the relationship.

This can also lead to the other person feeling like they can't give back what's been given to them, and they end up feeling guilty and ashamed. They avoid it, and actively choose to end the relationship.

So, a healthy and happy relationship is one where both people are true to themselves and can express their needs. It's also about putting the emotional feelings and needs of "we" first, and making sure the relationship is always the most important thing.

Your feelings about losing yourself in an intimate relationship are probably rooted in how you saw your parents' marriage patterns in your early years. It's possible that in your parents' marriage, your mother gave more and was too dependent on your father, both materially and spiritually. In other words, she put her marriage, family, husband, and children before herself and lost herself. Your mother's pattern of managing her own marital relationship has deeply influenced your understanding of intimate relationships. This is the key reason why you unintentionally believe that once you establish an intimate relationship, you may lose your independent self.

We also need to understand why this happens. Why do many women unconsciously lose themselves in intimate relationships like this? It's often because they lack self-confidence and feel unworthy.

It's more about how they were raised in their own families in their early years. Maybe their parents were too busy at work or something and didn't pay much attention to them. They might have made their kids feel like they had to meet certain expectations to get love and support. If they didn't, their parents might have ignored them, which could have made them feel like they weren't good enough. When kids don't understand this, they might try to find love and intimacy in their adult relationships, hoping that their partner will respond to them in the same way they did to their parents.

What are your thoughts on this?

So, you need to be aware of why you're afraid of losing yourself in an intimate relationship. Once you know that, you can find a way to overcome your worries and fears.

For instance, you could try keeping an emotional diary to record your feelings of unease and fear. This will help you get along with your emotions better, experience them, become aware of them, and feel the needs hidden behind them. For example, you might need to be affirmed, accepted, encouraged, supported, cared for, valued, and loved. Then try responding to this part of your inner needs in a more appropriate way.

For instance, you could try learning to accept yourself better. One way to do this is to make a list of your strengths, which will help you to see both your weaknesses and your many positive qualities. You could also talk to a close family member or a close friend about your inner fears and insecurities to get their strong emotional support.

One way to build self-confidence and boost your sense of self-worth is to keep a gratitude journal.

Treat yourself the way you want to be treated. Respect your true physical and mental feelings and experiences, and try to respond to them in a timely and appropriate manner. For example, you can take care of yourself through deep breathing, meditation, keeping an emotional diary, developing a passion, reading, exercising, and resting. In other words, you can try to give yourself the self you desire and expect in a relationship first.

Once you've done all that, you'll feel more confident, your inner world will be richer, and you'll be more comfortable being yourself in a relationship.

I hope my sharing can be a source of support and help for you!

I love you, world!

Hello, I'm Xing Ying, a certified counselor.

I'm always rambling, so I'll answer your question directly: It's not strange for a university student not to want to fall in love.

Here's Xing's long speech.

I saw some strange points, and I have three questions.

Why did you ask this question?

I can guess the reason from your question. See if any of the following apply to you:

A. Everyone else is in love, but I'm not, so I'm suspicious.

Love is a state of mind. We can't fall in love just because we want to. No two lives have the same rhythm, and love blossoms naturally.

B. When you first learned about love, you didn't like it?

The primacy effect is when the first impression of new information forms a fixed mindset. If the first impression is biased, it will lead to prejudice. Is it possible that your first impression of love was formed in elementary school?

As a university student, do your ideas about love still come from your childhood? The past affects the present.

C. My parents told me not to fall in love too young.

My parents' words have influenced me. What impression has falling in love left on me? Wait until you have an answer before reading on.

Parents usually tell you what not to do because they're worried you'll do it. Early love is a social topic because it's universal.

My parents said not to fall in love too young, but they didn't say not to fall in love at all. They also said that falling in love is a meaningful thing. Most parents worry about their children falling in love because they know that love can make people happy and affect their studies. They hope that their children will be successful in love and studies.

After thinking it over, I changed it to "a successful love and career."

2. What is love like? How do you know?

You described two scenarios of love. I'm not sure if I feel the same.

A. I can't imagine being with someone all day. It's tiring, there's no privacy, and you wonder what he's doing and what you'll talk about. Your mood rises and falls with his.

B. I didn't realize many great relationships happen in high school until I got to university.

It seems contradictory. You feel that being in love is both tiresome and wonderful. Where do these feelings come from?

Is it your experience or what others tell you?

Love is an emotion. You can't learn feelings from others. You have to experience them.

There's no such thing as "seeing a pig run" without "eating it." There's no standard answer to "what is love?" because everyone feels differently.

What others say doesn't matter! Your feelings are the only standard.

You can choose whether or not to experience this feeling in this life.

3. How do you know what you'll think in the future?

You say, "If I don't have the heart to do it now, I won't have it in the future." Are you sure?

When we were young, we probably didn't care about things like philosophy, history, politics, economics, or university rankings. Every day, people die and are reborn. Our brain cells and body cells are constantly being replaced. The future you is not the same as the present you. How can you be sure what the future you will be like?

The you of today is not the same as the you of childhood. Give today to the you of today and the future to the you of the future. You can choose.

Don't limit the future.

Does the past affect the present? Does the present affect the future?

I wish you freedom to live your life however you want. The world and I love you!

When we were in primary and secondary school, our parents would tell us not to fall in love too young, not to communicate too much with the opposite sex, and to focus on our studies. But once we became university students, we were told not to be single, to find a partner quickly, and ideally to get married as soon as we graduated.

It can make you feel totally unprepared and vulnerable, and it's like your brain is invaded out of nowhere. It can feel like all your efforts to draw a boundary with the opposite sex were in vain, and you're instantly defeated. Everyone goes to university to fall in love, and many people do fall in love at university.

If you're still single, you might still be called a "single dog" and teased, as if being single is a bad thing. You might not want to fall in love yet, and this might also be related to the family education you received before.

It's totally normal to still be single when everyone else around you is in a relationship. And it's understandable that your parents have always told you to stay single and not get involved with anyone too early. It can feel a bit pressuring at times, right? You used to deliberately act a bit fierce and standoffish, just being very indifferent.

If you do this, you might find that others are a little shy about approaching you. The good old days of meeting the most beautiful version of yourself and the most beautiful version of them are perhaps youth itself. Even if you don't have the idea of falling in love, that's okay! You can still enjoy being single.

In a few years, your parents may start pressuring you to get married, and by then, your mindset may be different. You can only deal with things as they come, and you should still make adjustments based on your actual situation. It's totally normal to feel a little strange about being single. You might not fully recognize this single state yet. You should still adjust your views on love. If you really feel moved in the later stages, you should seize the moment. Good luck!

ZQ?