Is my partner truly indifferent to me, or am I too sensitive?

Hello! I'll give you a warm hug from afar first, my dear.

I'm so happy I got to read your request for help! I really hope that sharing my experience can give you some support and help. From what you wrote, it seems like you really want your husband to understand you, be considerate, care about you, value you, and love you.

First of all, I want to tell you not to label yourself as introverted. Especially when it comes to a person's character traits, labels can have a strong effect on how you speak and behave.

If you're not aware of this part, it can be really tough to express your feelings and needs in your interactions with others, especially in your intimate relationships. It's natural to want to be supported and responded to, but if you're not aware of your needs, you might find yourself in a passive state, hoping that others or your partner will give you what you need.

It's true that in an intimate relationship, women often find themselves in a guiding role. This is something that women have developed over men over time. It's just one of those things that comes with evolution! Women are naturally better at managing and handling relationships, while men are not so good at managing relationships. So, when you passively wait for your husband to take the initiative to give you more emotional and emotional support and response, you might end up feeling a lot of frustration and loss.

If you don't recognize this part, you might find yourself getting caught up in your own frustrations and anger, which can make it hard to express your feelings in a way that's constructive and understanding. This can sometimes lead to a sense of distance or misunderstanding between you and your husband, because he might not fully understand what he's done to cause this. It's important to remember that he's just trying to navigate this relationship in a way that feels true to him.

So, introversion and extroversion aren't set in stone. For you, your lack of conversation skills when interacting with others shows that you have a bit of inferiority and lack confidence inside, and your need for security is relatively high. When you're in a situation where you don't feel fully accepted and you're safe enough, you'll probably choose to be silent.

But when you're with your family, especially your parents, children, and close friends, you might feel different, don't you think?

When you've become aware of this state in your relationship, especially when your intimate relationship makes you feel tired and drained, it's so important to try to learn to grow better under the guidance of this awareness. While you're feeling afraid, it's so brave and wonderful when you express how you want to be treated. You need your husband to do something for you so that you feel understood, valued, cared for, and loved.

Then your needs can be better responded to, and your husband will also feel respected, needed, and valued. It'll make him really happy to be able to respond accurately to your needs, and he'll keep treating you this way in his interactions with you.

At the same time, it's important to be aware of whether the reason you can't directly express your needs to your husband in an intimate relationship is that you think voicing your needs makes you vulnerable. If he truly cares about you, values you, and loves you, he'll try to treat you the way you expect. But the truth is that he really doesn't know, and you need to tell him directly.

I really think you'd benefit from reading "Is it happiness or right you want?" and "Intimacy."

Hello, It's like seeing you in person.

The description is short, but I understand you just fine. I'm an introvert, so I don't know how to communicate with my family and colleagues. I feel like I don't have any friends, but I long for friends. My marital status is very chaotic. I often complain and quarrel. I'm very tired, and I doubt the status of the relationship. I don't know if I'm too sensitive and need to change.

My dear, I have to say that I'm really impressed by your self-awareness. It's not easy to see your own feelings and states so clearly in an intimate relationship. So you've already achieved something that many partners are unable to do in an intimate relationship.

I have to give you a virtual thumbs-up first!

Let's talk about these states.

"Introverted, not knowing how to communicate with family and colleagues." I'd like to know:

1. When did you first notice these signs in yourself?

2. Can you tell me what happened before you showed these signs?

3. How do you typically communicate?

4. If there's a switch in your heart that controls how you communicate with others, what do you think is the underlying desire that's driving that switch?

5. What kind of relationship allows you to be open with others?

The above five points are meant to help you recognize the insecure child within. Maybe at home or at work, those people haven't been able to give you the security you need when communicating with you. When security isn't guaranteed, your inner "self-protection mechanism" kicks in.

So you say you don't have any friends, but deep down you want one. What I'd like to know is:

1. Do you have any particular standards in mind for what you look for in a friend?

2. How did you and your partner end up here in your marriage?

3. If the problem comes up again, which of these recurring issues have really stuck with you?

4. How do you share your feelings when talking to your partner about these issues?

The above four points are to tell you that communication is a two-way process. That means that "how to say" is more important than "what to say." Why? Because "how to say" reflects the effectiveness of communication. "What to say" is the result. The "effectiveness" should always come before the "result." That way, there's a greater possibility of reaching an agreement.

It's up to the other person to decide whether they've taken your words to heart. You don't need to take on their issues. You can remind them kindly if you want, but they have to decide whether to listen.

My dear, you just need to be yourself from start to finish. Coming to the platform for help this time is a great move. I hope that through this step, your sense of internal conflict will gradually subside.

Take care of yourself.

Hello, host!

I totally get where the original poster is coming from. In fact, I'd say it's something a lot of us are going through.

It can feel like our world is full of people, and we interact with so many of them!

Ultimately, it all comes down to your relationship with yourself.

If you have a good relationship with yourself, it'll be much easier to handle your relationships with others!

In other words, love is something you have within yourself, not something you feel only when it is given to you by others.

The host said you often complain that your other half doesn't care about you. I'm so sorry to hear that!

So, why do you expect the other person to care about you?

Have you done that first, sweetheart?

Love isn't something you're given by others.

It's only when you have love in your heart that you can truly feel the warmth and power of love.

Then, give from your heart!

It's not that other people don't care about you, sweetheart. It's just that you're not quite there yet.

When your heart is full of love, you'll be so happy that you won't even think about whether the other person gives you their attention!

Instead, you'll be the first to give your love!

It's so sad when you're in a situation where you're constantly complaining about not getting enough love and attention from someone else. It's like you're stuck in a cycle of wanting and taking, and it's so hard to break free from that.

It's totally normal to feel this way! It's like you're at a disadvantage, and it's okay to feel this way.

When you're full and strong inside, you'll find that what you give out is also powerful and loving.

I wish you all the happiness in the world!

I'm sending you lots of warm wishes this June, my dear friend! I love you!

1. Replenish your own psychological energy, care for and love yourself, and make yourself happy. Don't focus all your attention on the other person, so you don't lose balance between supply and demand. Don't put all your eggs in one basket (there are also baskets for friends, career, and interests).

2. Cut back on expectations and the sense of entitlement. Expectations and entitlement can be stressful, but they help you distinguish between what you want from the other person and what you want in a relationship. If this is what you want, be bold and demand it. Be prepared to accept rejection and walk away when you can't get what you want. Express it with specific actions. For example, if you want him to share his life with you once a day, say so.

Being specific and gentle is a good approach.

3. Get to know the different love languages of the other person. It's true that men and women think differently, but if you know that people who are more anxious and more concerned about the other person will ask questions on a psychological platform and study psychology, then I'd say don't push too hard or try too hard.

It takes effort from both people to keep a relationship going. When the balance is upset, it can easily lead to a breakup because disappointment can build up over time.

4. Why doesn't he care about your needs and why can't he remember? It's because you've given him the impression that he doesn't need to remember, care (take concrete action) or continue.

As you might guess, being too softhearted, having no clear bottom line, and putting the other person's needs above your own are the Achilles' heels of emotional management.

5. Treat him the same way he treats you, and that's what he'll like.

After reading it, do you think it's challenging? The issue is that you might not be able to have a very positive relationship with yourself, a stable core, some clear bottom lines, the ability to maximize the satisfaction of your own needs, and the confidence to withdraw at any time.

The reality is that if you lack something, you have less of it.

The easy part of being in a relationship is accepting that the other person may not be able to fulfill all your fantasies and needs (they're just an ordinary person, probably still a man), and evaluating your own needs in the relationship and the needs of the other person, satisfying yourself at any time, including seeking a relationship that better suits your ideals.

This is a process of self-improvement that may also help you to communicate better and solve problems more effectively, which is a great benefit.

Wishing you the best.

Good day, question asker! I am Jiang 61.

First of all, thank you for trusting us enough to tell us your confusion and get answers. You ask, "Is my other half really not thinking of me, or am I just being too sensitive?"

"After reading your brief introduction and learning a little about your situation, I would like to discuss this issue with you if you would like."

1. Introduction

1⃣️, Personality

You say, "I am an introvert who could benefit from learning how to communicate more effectively with family and colleagues. I would love to have friends."

You are a rather solitary, introverted person who could benefit from some additional communication skills. This may be contributing to your difficulty in dealing with people, which in turn may be leading to feelings of being closed off and a lack of social connections.

However, you seem to be eager to have friends.

2. Marriage

You say, "My marriage is going through a challenging period. I often feel that my partner could show more care and attention, and we have frequent disagreements.

I feel so tired. I'm not sure if my partner is really considering my feelings, as he mentions many problems.

"He didn't seem to take it to heart, and the same problem keeps recurring."

? Longing

From your description of this marriage, it seems that you desire to be noticed and loved, yet your partner may not fully comprehend how to care for you or understand you. This could result in frequent arguments, which can be exhausting.

On several occasions

It seems that you are unsure whether your partner cares about you and has you in mind. Could I ask why you keep emphasizing issues that he doesn't remember, and many of which keep recurring?

Perhaps it would be helpful to discuss what problem made you so angry.

3⃣️, Question

You inquire, "Am I perhaps being a bit too sensitive? Should I perhaps be the one to make the first move?"

You're trying to determine if your sensitivity is out of proportion or if he's not as invested in the relationship as you'd like. You're wondering if there's something you could do to improve the situation.

Thank you for raising this interesting point for discussion.

2. Discussion

1⃣️, Differences

I believe that there are some differences between men and women that we should consider.

It might be helpful to think about gender differences as referring to the physical, psychological, social, and cultural differences between men and women, which can lead to differences in thinking and behavior.

Many people may not fully comprehend this, which can lead to feelings of confusion in various aspects of life, including relationships, marriage, studies, work, and so on.

It might be helpful to consider the ways in which our expressions differ.

It seems that the questioner is hoping for more care and love from their partner. You have also mentioned that the feedback you receive is still the same as before, which may make you feel neglected and like your opinions are not valued. Without specific examples, it's possible that the issue lies in the difference in how you express yourself as you grew up, which may be affecting your perception of his level of care.

2. Ineffective communication

Perhaps we could discuss the issue of effective communication?

Communication can be defined as the exchange of information. It is a process whereby a message is conveyed to a communication partner with the hope that it will be received and responded to in the expected way. If this process is achieved, effective communication can be said to be complete.

It is worth noting that communication encompasses both verbal and non-verbal elements. In many cases, the non-verbal aspect may hold greater significance than the verbal one. Effective communication plays a pivotal role in navigating interpersonal relationships and navigating the intricacies of social dynamics on campus.

:: Communication that could be improved

Due to the differences in thinking between men and women, it is possible that, even though you are already married, you may not fully understand the differences between the sexes. This could result in difficulties when communicating with your partner, where you may not see things from their perspective, misunderstand their meaning, and form ineffective communication.

3⃣, Absolutist thinking

It might be helpful to consider the role of absolute thinking in this context.

Absolute thinking is a way of thinking that tends to divide things into two extremes, with not much gray area in between. This way of thinking often views issues in a black-and-white manner, without considering the nuances or diversity of things.

Absolute thinking is often based on personal preferences and subjective views, which may not fully align with objective facts and multiple considerations. This way of thinking can potentially lead to the formation of stereotypes and prejudices, which may in turn affect our decision-making, judgment, and mental health.

I would like to present the results.

The questioner expresses frustration that you have mentioned many problems, but he doesn't feel they are being taken seriously. Similarly, the other half has a tendency to make the same mistake repeatedly. This leads to a sense of disappointment and frustration when he doesn't seem to understand or remember what you say.

This is a way of thinking that is often absolutist: "You should... or else...". It can be helpful to consider that there might be other possibilities.

3. What to do

1⃣️, understanding differences

It would be beneficial to try to understand each other's differences.

It is often the case that disagreements and arguments arise due to a lack of understanding of the physiological, psychological, cognitive, and other differences between men and women.

Marital life is about mutual understanding, mutual tolerance, mutual support, and mutual care. If we want to be happy, it would be beneficial to first learn to understand others and differences. This could potentially lead to a happier marriage.

Tolerance is a virtue that can greatly contribute to a happy marriage.

Marriage is not the end of love, but rather the beginning and continuation of it. For love to last, tolerance is an important element. Tolerance means that we allow each other to be different and to have shortcomings.

We all have our imperfections, and that's perfectly normal. Showing tolerance is an essential quality in a happy marriage.

2⃣, Communicate effectively

It is inevitable that we will have disagreements in family life. To avoid misunderstandings, it is important to communicate effectively. There are specific methods that can help us do this.

Here are some suggestions for effective communication:

I believe that effective communication involves four steps.

It may be helpful to consider expressing feelings rather than emotions in this situation.

Step 2: It may be helpful to express what you want, rather than what you don't want. It might be beneficial to express that you are angry, rather than focusing on the act of expressing it.

Step 3: It would be helpful to express your needs, rather than your complaints. This will help the other person understand what you want.

Step 4: Rather than dwelling on the current situation, express your vision for the future.

I believe that effective communication can have a positive effect on our lives.

Effective communication allows us to express our emotions, feelings, thoughts, expectations, and hopes directly to the other party. With the other party's understanding, misunderstandings can be avoided, and the desired results can be achieved.

One of the main causes of arguments is a difference of opinion. If you feel you are right and your partner feels they are wrong, it can be difficult to communicate effectively. This can make it challenging to achieve the desired outcome.

It would be beneficial to learn to communicate effectively and convey your needs. When the other person understands you without being accused, it can facilitate cooperation with your actions and the fulfillment of your wishes.

3⃣️, Expressions of love

It is important to recognize that everyone has a unique understanding of love and that the ways in which they express and receive love may vary. Dr. Gary Chapman has developed a framework that categorizes the ways in which people express and receive love into five "languages of love": "affirming words," "quality time," "exchange of gifts," "acts of service," and "physical touch."

Affirming words are a wonderful way to express your appreciation and convey your feelings.

It is beneficial for all relationships, whether friends, colleagues, lovers, or married couples, to receive praise and affirmation. Providing more positive feedback can help to strengthen the bond between two people.

It might be helpful to consider the value of special moments in a relationship.

Special moments are wonderful times and memories that you share together, such as a candlelit dinner or doing something meaningful together. It would be greatly appreciated if you could give your full attention to the other person during this time.

It is also important to accept gifts.

It might be said that exchanging gifts on important holidays is a very ritualistic thing to do. This ritual, and the gift itself, could perhaps be seen as a bond between the two of you.

Service actions

In essence, it entails doing what the other person desires and ensuring their happiness through the services one provides in life. Such actions often encompass the seemingly inconsequential aspects of life.

It might be helpful to consider the value of physical contact in the relationship.

It might be helpful to consider that physical contact like holding hands or hugging can increase affection between partners and serve as a form of non-verbal communication.

In a marriage, it seems that maintaining a good intimate relationship hinges on the transmission and expression of love. From the situation described by the questioner, it appears that her husband may be lacking in this regard.

Perhaps we could consider taking the initiative to show him the love he needs and gently let him know what form of love you need. When your husband understands your love needs, he may be more likely to give you what you need.

Questioner, marriage is about learning to understand and manage it. It may be helpful to consider that understanding others, effective communication, and the expression of love are all ways to run a good marriage. Because love is a mutual feeling, it may be beneficial to recognize that it not only makes us want love, but also that it makes us need to give love. This could be an important aspect to consider in maintaining a stable and happy marriage.

Questioner, if you manage your marriage well, you will receive the love you need. Finally, I wish the questioner happiness and joy!

Good morning. I am a heart exploration coach, and I am honored to be able to offer you some advice.

From your written description, it seems that you are currently experiencing some difficulties in your relationship with your partner. Have you ever considered whether he might not have the same feelings for you as he once did, or do you think you might be reading too much into things?

From your question, I can understand that you may be experiencing some doubt and uncertainty about yourself. It's natural to have moments of self-doubt, but it's also important to recognize that these feelings don't define you. Is this how you're currently feeling?

I will then assist you in conducting a thorough analysis of your text, with the aim of identifying potential areas for improvement. In addition, I will offer some personal advice, which I hope you will find helpful.

You have identified yourself as an introvert who may have some challenges in communication and interpersonal relationships, particularly with your family.

I believe that deep down, you may wish to become a person who is at ease, and who is so carefree and uninhibited in the workplace and at home, and who is so bold in expressing themselves.

You admire this type of person, but when you try to learn how they speak, it seems a bit challenging to open your mouth and you're unsure of how to begin. Or you feel a bit out of place when you say the same thing. Do you find yourself feeling similarly?

If you feel this way, it could be a good first step towards self-awareness.

If you already have a goal, such as your family, friends, or colleagues, there may be someone you would like to become like.

He has a strong language ability, which allows him to express himself well and maintain good relationships with friends and family. Having a goal is a great place to start.

Could I ask you to explain that a little more? I think we can look at it in more detail. What are his strengths?

For instance, he is able to express his thoughts and feelings in a way that considers the feelings of others.

You also have the discerning eye to recognize some of the character traits of others, which allows you to identify which aspect you would like to improve.

Perhaps you might say that you lack the courage to talk to the people around you. In that case, let's first focus on building up your self-confidence.

Have you had any challenges in your family of origin or in previous relationships?

Perhaps you could think back to your school days, for example. It's possible that you wanted to chat with others, but found it difficult to get to the point or that what you were saying wasn't what others liked. At this time, would you feel that it was your problem? Why couldn't you get along with others?

At this time, it would be helpful to try to determine what the other person wants. If we want to become friends with the other person, we can put ourselves in their shoes and think about it. Is it possible that the more we can empathize with someone, the more likely we are to become friends?

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether you are aware of the needs of those around you, including your husband and children. To illustrate this point, let's take your husband as an example.

I must admit that I'm not really sure what your husband does every day, but from what you've told me, it seems that you feel he doesn't care about you very much. You two always argue, and you complain a lot.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that you feel he doesn't care about you. When you argue, does he deny this? While he denies it, could you ask him to name an example of the ways in which he cares about you on a daily basis?

I believe that you may be lacking a sense of security and love within yourself. It seems as though you are hoping that those around you will value you and care for you in a way that you feel is lacking.

I believe we do need this. When someone cares about us, it's important to be able to perceive it.

Could there be a possibility that we may have overlooked some forms of care and affection, which could potentially lead to misunderstandings and disagreements?

For instance, it would be nice if he could show you more affection and care on a regular basis. Unfortunately, your husband may not be as attentive or patient as you would like when it comes to showing affection and care.

Could I ask whether he usually, for example, covers you with a quilt or blanket when you fall asleep on the sofa and it's cold? Or does he stay by your side when you're not feeling well, or pour you a cup of hot water?

Could I ask if there are any similar habits?

If there is, then these are actually all kinds of behaviors that show he cares about you. You may say, "Well, he didn't give me what I wanted, and I don't really care about what he did give me."

I believe that is true.

When there is a lack of communication between you both, this kind of deviation can occur, which may lead to feelings of frustration on his part. He may feel that he cares about you and your feelings, yet you have expressed otherwise.

It's also possible that you might feel that "I don't feel that you care about me at all, so I'm not sure why he's still blaming me and not noticing?"

At this point, communication requires us to make an effort. You may feel a bit uneasy and not know what to do, which is understandable. You have the closest relationship with your husband, so you can rely on that to help you navigate this.

If he expresses that he feels you don't care enough about him, for instance, and you inquire for specific examples, and he provides numerous instances, it would be beneficial to reflect on this in your daily interactions.

Perhaps you could let him know that you have been trying to show him these new qualities through your actions of caring for me. I would be very happy if you could care for me in this way, as I feel it would make me even happier.

If you could try to express these kinds of words, I think you would see a great improvement.

At first, you may feel a little embarrassed to say this, but as you have already taken the step of becoming husband and wife, it seems only natural that the happiness of the two of you should be the top priority for your family.

Otherwise, if you two are in a bad mood every day, and there is no real conflict between you, it might have an impact on the love you have worked so hard to build up.

If your husband is relatively less introverted than you, you might consider expressing to him that you are indeed introverted, but hope that he can lead you or hope that he will tell you when he is concerned about you.

You might also consider telling him that perhaps his own family of origin has always been in a situation where they have not received more love, and that the perception of love needs to be enhanced and gradually restored.

If you tell him in advance, he will be more cautious and understand that your wife had a difficult childhood and needs your care.

Once he has made improvements, for instance, if he has shown concern for you each time, or if he has told you or asked you if this method is okay, you might consider offering him affirmation.

At the beginning, you can give appropriate affirmation, and it is not necessary to speak very beautifully or appropriately. In fact, just saying "very good" or "I like it" is enough. Over time, you and your partner can gradually improve.

It might also be helpful to consider the role of sensitivity in this situation. It's possible that your sensitivity has its roots in your family of origin. Do you recall a time when you cared about another person, but they didn't understand and spoke harshly to you?

It is possible that you may feel hurt and may be reluctant to move forward.

This may be one reason why you have become a bit more introverted and sensitive to your husband's apparent indifference.

If I might make one more observation, it seems that you may frequently make requests of your partner, but feel that, despite your best efforts, the desired changes have not yet materialized.

Perhaps our approach to communication and our ability to affirm each other could be enhanced.

Could you please clarify which specific issue you've been consistently reminding him about, but haven't yet seen him address?

It might be helpful to remember that requests take time to implement, and that not everyone has the ability to break an event into multiple steps to complete it.

It is possible that if we simply make demands of him, he may also find it challenging to achieve them.

If I may suggest, we could perhaps work together to help him improve some of his behavior patterns. You could face his difficulties with him, and he could also fully face your difficulties with you.

I believe that the more self-aware you are, the more you will be able to perceive the other person's care for you.

After that, you may wish to consider organising the text a bit, which would allow us to analyse the specific incident based on the specific event. Otherwise, it may be more of a guess that is relatively broad and not entirely accurate.

If you are interested in making a change, perhaps we could start by looking at the language barrier and how to build up the psychological strength to take this step. It might be helpful to make a plan to move forward in this first area.

I will await your reply and wish you the very best.

It is understandable that you feel confused and exhausted when faced with communication problems and feelings of neglect in your marriage. To assist you in understanding the current situation and finding possible solutions, we have provided the following suggestions:

1. Self-Reflection: Initially, it is advisable to gain an understanding of your own feelings and needs. Consider the reasons behind your feelings of neglect and what kind of care and support you expect from your partner.

2. Communication skills: Develop effective communication skills such as those utilized in Nonviolent Communication (NVC), which can assist in articulating feelings and needs in a clear and empathetic manner.

3. Open dialogue: Engage in an honest conversation with your partner. Select an appropriate time to calmly express your feelings and concerns, and also listen to his views.

4. Set expectations: It is important to be clear about what you expect from your marriage and discuss it with your partner. This will help you both understand each other's needs and find common ground.

5. Seek assistance from a counselor if you feel you require additional support in addressing these issues. Counselors can provide guidance and support tailored to your needs.

6. **Grow together**: It is recommended that you encourage your partner to participate in marriage counseling or communication workshops together. This will help you improve communication and problem-solving together.

7. Self-care: It is important to maintain a healthy work-life balance during this process. This includes maintaining healthy living habits, cultivating personal interests, and staying in touch with family and colleagues.

8. Accepting differences: It is important to recognise that individuals have their own communication styles and emotional expression, and to accept these differences.

9. Focus on progress: Concentrate on your achievements in communication and problem-solving. If there is an improvement, maintain the momentum; if not, it may be time to reassess the relationship.

10. If your partner is unable to meet your emotional needs on an ongoing basis, or if you are unable to resolve relationship issues, we advise that you seek professional marriage counseling.

It is important to remember that marriage requires mutual effort and communication. By following the above suggestions, you can gain a deeper understanding of your feelings and improve your relationship with your partner.

It is also of the utmost importance to continue caring for and respecting yourself.

I appreciate your concerns and I understand your distress and unease. It's true that introverts do face some challenges in communicating and building relationships with others. However, it is still possible to have friends and a happy marriage. Here are some suggestions that I hope will be helpful to you:

It may be helpful to start by understanding and accepting your introverted personality. Being introverted does not necessarily mean that you are socially awkward or unable to form deep relationships. It could simply mean that you may need different ways and time to process information and emotions.

It may be helpful to consider learning communication skills, even if you are an introvert. This could assist you in communicating more effectively with family members and colleagues. For instance, you might prepare topics in advance, actively listen to the other person's views, express your thoughts and feelings, and so on.

It might be helpful to seek support if you feel that the relationship with your partner is very tense. A professional marriage counselor could provide more specific advice and guidance to help you resolve communication problems.

It might be helpful to consider building a support system. In addition to family and colleagues, you could perhaps try joining interest groups, social groups, or volunteer activities to expand your social circle and meet new people. These people could potentially become your support system, which might make you feel more fulfilled and happier.

Communication and expression: It would be beneficial to communicate your feelings and needs with your partner in an open and honest manner. You may wish to tell him how you would like him to care for you and what issues you feel you need his support and understanding.

It would be beneficial to try to understand his views and feelings in order to achieve better mutual understanding.

Change and growth: While your introverted personality may present certain challenges in social situations, you can overcome these by engaging in self-reflection and learning. Consider exploring new skills or hobbies to enhance your self-confidence and social skills.

It may be helpful to consider focusing on personal growth in addition to relationships with others. There are many ways to improve your quality of life and happiness, such as cultivating your own interests, learning new skills, or participating in volunteer activities.

It is also important to remember not to be too hard on yourself or to deny your own needs. We all have our own unique personalities and strengths, as well as areas for improvement.

It may be helpful to consider the importance of believing in your ability to change and grow, as well as learning to accept and love yourself.

Hello! Thank you so much for your question. My name is ZQ, and I'm a heart exploration coach from the Yixinli platform. I'm really excited to help you with your marriage issues! It seems like you're having a bit of a rough patch, and I'm here to help you get back on track.

These doubts and thoughts didn't just pop up out of nowhere!

As the day goes on, he might even start to come to mind! Just as Rome wasn't built in a day, he has also accumulated bit by bit, and there may be some details in your daily life that have accumulated, making you feel less and less loved by your partner.

He may not pay particular attention to anything about you, and usually doesn't give you more care, nor pay attention to your feelings and needs. But that just means there's room for improvement! You may be more likely to suspect the other party doesn't care about you, but that's just because you haven't yet found the right way to express your suggestions and complaints.

You may feel that you are an introvert and don't know how to communicate with family members and colleagues, but there's no need to worry! You can easily learn how to express the full picture of many things. For example, when you want something, you may turn this demand into a complaint, such as when you want to gain friendship.

But you don't know how to start a conversation or create opportunities. For example, if you want to get along well with your colleagues, you can learn how to start a conversation and better grasp the boundaries in your daily work interactions.

Similarly, in your marriage, you have the opportunity to do better!

Because you often quarrel, there's plenty of room for improvement! Most of the problems may be caused by a lack of communication, which is an easy fix.

Some words can lead to better problem solving, while some words can only exacerbate problems and intensify conflicts.

Have you ever considered that your partner may have heard only a fraction of your complaints? If they've heard too much of this kind of information, they may feel annoyed. This could lead to a lack of solutions or solutions that don't work for them. But there's an opportunity here! They may just let it go in one ear and out the other.

You're not too sensitive, but you can be more open to change. If you're already suffering in the marriage, then changes need to be made. And the good news is, you can make those changes! If you've made changes on your side and there is still no effect,

Then it may mean that the problem is with the other party, which is totally fixable! You can try to talk about some of the situations in which you argue, and see what kind of topics and reasons make it easier to argue. This is something you need to understand clearly, perhaps when we re-understand these arguments.

You can even summarize what topics you should avoid or what kind of speaking style you should avoid! Then, in the future, you can express your inner needs in a better way and propose practical solutions that the other person can also approve of.

And then, your lives will start to improve! You'll notice your communication with your partner becoming smoother, and they'll notice your changes too. They'll make corresponding adjustments, and before you know it, your arguments will be a thing of the past! Your communication will become more fluid, and your partner will extend an olive branch to you. They'll show more concern for you, and you'll feel the love!

These are all positive interactions, and you can absolutely keep increasing the amount of positive interactions in your marriage to keep it fresh and add more positive experiences! This is also very helpful for your marriage. At the same time, we also need to try to improve our communication skills. We can read some books or seek psychological counseling. I highly recommend "All Problems Can Be Solved," "Growing in Relationships," and "How to Get Others to Listen to You." Good luck!

ZQ?

Dear Questioner, I can appreciate the difficulties you are facing. It is my hope that my reply will prove supportive.

Your personality is notably introverted, and you appear to lack proficiency in communication. The state of your marriage is evidently chaotic, and it is reasonable to assume that you are experiencing distress. You have expressed concerns about the sincerity of your partner's treatment of you. It seems that your words are consistently disregarded, leading you to perceive a lack of care and attention from your partner. As a woman, navigating these challenges can be particularly challenging.

Upon entering into marriage, women typically hope to be cared for and doted on, and to be loved like their parents. It is important to recognize that many men lack the knowledge and skills to effectively manage a marriage. Some believe that merely providing financial support is sufficient, yet this often proves inadequate. Women tend to prioritize emotional connections and seek experiences that bring joy and excitement into their lives.

It is often assumed that women are passive and influenced by traditional thinking, with a tendency to adopt a victim mentality. However, women can also demonstrate care and generosity, for example, by giving their husbands red envelopes or expressing affection. In fact, they often receive more in return. Men are often perceived as being born with a desire to conquer and a reluctance to admit defeat. However, they also have an inherent need for love and care from their partners.

The four major rules for a successful marriage are as follows: equal value, independent space, bearing capacity, and returning to the basics. It is of particular importance to screen your partner before entering into marriage. A partner with a complete personality is easy and pleasant to get along with. Many people hope to change the other person, which is to deny the other person and form an antagonistic relationship. It is important to note that no one wants to be changed and feels humiliated after the change.

Frequent arguments are a form of communication. They indicate a connection in pain. Do you meet each other's needs? Do you recognize each other's difficulties? You can also inform each other of your thoughts, learn to demonstrate vulnerability, and request advice from each other instead of imposing your will on each other.

It is essential to consider the role of mutual care and concern in a marriage. The notion that giving and receiving are reciprocal processes is fundamental to the concept of marriage. It is necessary for both parties to provide companionship and support to each other in order to facilitate mutual growth and progress. However, it is not uncommon for marriages to become characterised by power struggles. This dynamic often manifests as a pattern of constant competition, with each partner attempting to defeat or prove their superiority over the other. This can result in a loss of relationship intimacy and a deterioration of the marital bond.

Furthermore, marriage represents an optimal avenue for personal growth. In a marital relationship, individuals are compelled to present their authentic selves, acknowledge their shortcomings, and observe the other person's reflections, which serve to refine their own perceptions and capabilities. The observation of one's partner's strengths can also facilitate personal growth.

The same problematic situation continues to recur. It is also possible to consider whether a different outcome might be achieved by modifying one's behavior. This is an important aspect to reflect upon.

It is essential to return to one's own heart and inquire whether one is fulfilling one's own needs, caring for oneself, treating oneself correctly, and whether others recognize one's importance and deserve to be happy. It is crucial to learn to foster self-love and self-appreciation.

It is not possible to alter the behaviour of others; only one's own behaviour can be modified.

I extend my best wishes to you.

Hello! I'm Bai Li Yina, and I really hope my reply can give you some warmth and help.

The questioner opened up about his introverted nature and struggles with expressing himself, which has made it difficult for him to form friendships. He also shared his concerns about his marriage, feeling that his husband could be more attentive and affectionate. As a result, they often have disagreements, which have led to a rather chaotic life. How can he improve?

Let's take a moment to analyze the situation together.

You are actually a sensitive person with an introverted personality, and you observe the people and things around you, including your own emotions and state. Being observant is a good thing, and the desire to have friends is a sign of love for life. It is only natural to expect a relationship and love from your husband, but you feel that your introverted nature and lack of eloquence prevent you from getting the life and interpersonal relationships you desire. You feel very sad and blame yourself for this, and you are also very confused as to why you are so unhappy.

[Questions to get you thinking]

1. I'm so sorry to hear that things have been a bit chaotic between you and your husband. Have your expectations of your husband changed at all?

2. I'd love to know how you and your husband resolve conflicts after each argument. Have you discussed a rule to avoid the same conflicts?

3. Did you ever feel like the introverted you didn't know how to make friends, or were afraid of making friends? Did you never have friends growing up, or are you afraid of making friends after growing up?

I'd love to know what changes you've undergone and what you're afraid of.

I'd like to suggest a few methods you might like to try.

1. When you've tried and failed to change your husband, don't fret! The best thing you can do is start by changing yourself. For example, if you want your husband to care about you, you need to care more about yourself. If you want your husband to love you more, you need to learn to love yourself more.

Let's say you're feeling a little down today. You're aware of those negative emotions, but what can you do right now to make yourself feel better?

2. It's so important to express your emotions! Effective communication is the best way to improve intimacy in a relationship. When you're arguing, you might feel like you can only express your emotions as anger and sadness. When you're angry, remind yourself that anger won't solve the problem. What do I want to express to make the other person feel it?

For example, if I don't get enough attention from multiple parties, I will be a little disappointed and sad. Could you show me a little more care next time than you did this time?

Have a chat with each other to find a solution that will make you both happy and won't make you feel sad. Every argument is a chance to communicate and negotiate, not just a way to vent emotions at each other.

3. You might not know how to communicate with your family and colleagues. It's okay! The real reason why you are afraid of communication needs to be discovered by yourself. For example, you might be afraid of saying the wrong thing and making the other person unhappy and dislike you.

If you don't have any friends now, it might mean that the other person doesn't like you as much anymore. But there's no need to be afraid! You can say whatever you want, do whatever you want, and express yourself to your heart's content. Just be yourself, and learn to love yourself.

All those uncomfortable, uneasy emotions? They're there for a reason. And you know what? You can resolve them by loving yourself and being kinder to yourself. No need to expect others to be kind to you. You've got this!

4. You are the most important person in the world to you, and you should love yourself the most! You deserve to feel good about yourself and to love yourself. When you do, you will have the extra energy to love others and accept their love.

You've got nothing to lose by expressing yourself. And you've got nothing to worry about from other people's disapproval, as long as you like it. You are the most important person in the world to you, and that's a wonderful thing!

I really hope these methods can help you!

I know change can be tough, but it does require time and patience. Please don't worry or be afraid. Many people are experiencing or have experienced similar problems, so you're not alone.

The world and I are with you, my friend. You are not alone. I wish you an early solution to the fog in your heart and find your own most comfortable state.

I just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who has liked and commented on my post. I wish you all peace and joy!

Hello!

I understand how you feel.

You wrote, "Am I too sensitive? Should I change?"

You need to change. Only then will your marriage improve.

You also wrote that you're an introvert who doesn't know how to communicate with family and colleagues. You want friends but don't have any.

Everyone needs a "tree hole," just as a sailing boat needs a lighthouse. You are an introvert with a rich inner life, which is what you call sensitivity.

You think everything is going as planned, but you're the only one in your "inner castle." You'll eventually have to come out, which is why you need a "tree hole."

Your inner castle makes it hard to connect with others. You need to change to fit in.

Your marriage is a mess. You complain your spouse doesn't care and fight a lot.

I'm tired. Do they not care about me, or are they just saying there are problems?

A marriage is about managing everyday issues. A marriage that is full of strife can be changed by changing oneself, communication, and management.

If your life doesn't match your dreams, you'll feel tired. This is a mental, not physical, tiredness. You feel this way because you're the one making you feel this way.

There's no such thing as that mentality. As for the problems you mentioned, isn't life about solving problems as they arise?

Advice

1. It's good for introverts to concentrate at work, but not being able to express themselves is a problem. Learn to express yourself or communicate.

2. Make friends by going up to them and saying hello. Learn to start conversations.

3. Communication is also needed in life. When problems arise, don't ask why. Think about what you did or can do. Marital life is not one person's life. It's a joint effort of two people.

4. Changing oneself means changing your outlook. This is like looking at a beautiful sunrise or sunset. The higher you look, the more beautiful the view, the wider your horizons, and the more open-minded you will be.

This is just for reference.

Hello, my name is Coach Yu, and I would love to chat with you about this topic.

Let's start by chatting about inferiority complexes.

Have you ever heard of Alfred Adler? He was the founder of individual psychology. He had a really interesting idea. He said that all of our troubles stem from our relationships with other people. We're all afraid of being hated or hurt in our relationships. This can make us feel inferior.

It's so important to remember that the feeling of being inferior is often not an objective fact, but a subjective interpretation. We can't always know how to communicate with family and colleagues, and have no friends, because we've already set the scene in our minds that "introverts are not welcome" and "extroversion is the only way to win others' favor."

So, the not-so-great stuff in our relationships has actually opened a door that can lead us deeper into our hearts and show us the real, authentic us.

As the questioner said, I am an introvert and I'm still learning how to communicate with people. I don't have any friends yet, but I'm excited to find some!

Let's take a trip down memory lane! When you brought up an idea or a request, did your parents respond with encouragement or with a serious rejection?

When kids often get negative responses, it can really knock their confidence and leave them feeling uneasy and anxious. This can really affect how they interact with others when they grow up.

We can choose to challenge ourselves with familiar or close people first, such as family members and close friends. We can try to express our thoughts, start with relaxed and concise language, and let ourselves improve our confidence in action. Sometimes creating a breakthrough can break a cycle.

Let's chat about the mirror effect, shall we?

One thing that can get in the way of a relationship is what we call the "mirror effect." This is when we confuse how others see us with how we see ourselves. We take their perception of us as our own reality and mix up our personal feelings with theirs.

It's so interesting how our minds work! This subjective interpretation of other people's feelings actually comes from ourselves. How we think of ourselves is how we project these thoughts onto the people who are important to us, interpreting that the other half thinks the same way.

As the saying goes, the deeper the love, the deeper the hate. It's always a good idea to ask ourselves what our ideal other half is like!

Have you ever wondered what your heart really wants? When we are clear about our needs, we can be guided to the right behavior.

We can find some time to listen to our partner tell us stories from his childhood, some of his past life experiences, and also hear his views on the current intimate relationship and his expectations of me. It's so important to really listen to each other, and this is a great way to do it. It will help us understand each other better and enhance our intimate relationship.

If you need help, you can talk to a family member or friend you trust. They can listen to you and support you. You can also find a counselor or join a support group. It's important to talk about your feelings. This can help you feel better.

And finally, we need to enrich our inner selves, discover our unique value, and establish our own evaluation system. When your heart is strong and your core is stable, the people around you will naturally feel comfortable in your company. And don't forget to relax your mind! On weekends, you can go out for a walk, listen to the sound of frogs in the rice fields, smell the birdsong and flowers, and stay in a happy mood.

I'd love to suggest a book I think you'll really enjoy: "Mindfulness: This Moment Is a Flower." I hope you'll give it a try!

Good day, my name is Strawberry.

The reason introverts do not interact with people as much is not that they dislike social interaction. Rather, they often encounter forms of rejection, suppression, and attack when they do wish to interact, which subsequently leads to a lack of interest in socializing.

The inability to integrate due to an excess of thoughts.

From the questioner's statements, it is evident that he identifies as an introvert. His introverted personality has led to challenges in communicating with family, colleagues, and others. In situations where he feels uncertain about communicating and is concerned about making mistakes, he tends to present as quiet and taciturn.

The questioner is aware that her reluctance to communicate is not due to a lack of interest in expanding her interpersonal relationships. She desires to integrate with others and to interact with them in a natural manner. However, the challenges she faces in her interpersonal relationships, particularly in her marriage, have led to a tendency to withdraw.

The consequences of failing to resolve issues in a timely manner

The questioner describes her married life as chaotic. It is evident that the questioner and her husband lack effective conflict resolution strategies. Each conflict is like a knot, which is time-consuming to untie. If left unresolved, it becomes an obstacle in their relationship, making it more challenging for the questioner and her husband to move forward.

The questioner hopes that her husband will demonstrate greater care and attention to her concerns. The repetitive nature of the problems and the associated arguments has led to a sense of exhaustion, both physically and mentally. This has also led to a sense of doubt regarding the level of consideration her husband has for her, which has further contributed to the deterioration of the relationship.

Should I adjust my approach to better align with the desired outcome?

When problems arise in a marriage, it is important to recognize that both spouses are affected. There is no need to prioritize determining who is right or wrong. Instead, it is more beneficial to allow your partner to understand your emotions, identify the issue, address it together, and find a solution.

It is important to understand emotions. The question asker has a desire for human relationships and, in reality, has almost no friends. This results in the question asker placing expectations on her husband. Everyone has a desire to confide in someone, but the question asker is unable to confide in others, so she confides in her husband.

Without establishing an appropriate mode of communication, a partner may not be the most suitable person to confide in. In their typical interactions, the question asker would prefer her husband to understand and appreciate her, but her high expectations have led to dissatisfaction and resentment towards her husband's responses.

The questioner should consider their own inner needs and emotions. It is important to recognize that these needs cannot be fulfilled solely by their partner. Excessive demands may also lead to feelings of exhaustion in their partner.

Effective Communication: The question asker revealed that she and her husband frequently engage in disagreements. While arguments are not inherently negative, they indicate that the question asker and her husband are able to swiftly identify areas for improvement in their marriage. However, arguments are not an optimal form of communication.

The most significant factor influencing relationships is not the resolution of issues following an argument. It is essential to utilise effective communication methods to prevent angry emotions from taking control and leading to hurtful words or impulsive decisions.

By learning to respect each other's opinions in communication, partners can express themselves freely. When there is a difference of opinion, it is important to remain calm and avoid immediately engaging in an argument. Instead, allow your partner to express themselves in a calm and stable manner. Based on their input, you can then identify any misunderstandings or problems that exist and ask questions to gain clarity. By maintaining emotional stability, you and your partner can discuss and communicate to find a suitable solution. Effective communication is the key to solving problems.

☀️Continuous improvement: In the pursuit of love, individuals must be prepared to adapt and evolve as circumstances change. By learning and growing in both directions, we can navigate challenges and pursue shared objectives.

The questioner should first focus on self-improvement. When the current situation is unchangeable, focus on changing the aspects of yourself that can be changed. Take the initiative to learn about the dynamics of intimate relationships. Recommended reading includes "It Turns Out That Understanding Is More Important Than Love" and "Intimate Relationship Management."

If the questioner can identify the issues in their relationship with their husband, they can then persuade him to participate in the learning process. If both parties value their marriage and are committed to resolving their challenges, they can collaborate as partners, engage in mutual learning, and develop effective strategies for maintaining their marriage. When the questioner is able to manage their relationship with their husband, their confidence will enable them to gradually move forward in pursuing their desired life goals.

I hope this response is helpful to the questioner. Best regards.