Hello, I see you're feeling confused. It seems like you're married with children, but you might not have naturally formed a stable self. If someone is having a hard time being happy despite leading a successful life, it's likely that they're experiencing a crisis of self-identity.
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[A stable self]
In the book The Map of Human Beings: The Science of Distinction, the author talks about a fascinating science that divides the human body into nine energy centers. One of the most special energy centers is called the G-center. People with a blank G-center have no fixed identity and no consistent and reliable sense of self-identity. Isn't that interesting? And when you meet someone with a colored G-center, you will borrow their identity and direction.
You'll meet all kinds of people, and you'll see your inner anima (male image) in them. You'll like them because you see your inner self in them. You think you don't have it, but it's what you want to become. You feel envious because you think you don't have it, and then you start to like it. You like it, so you want to possess it.
To form a stable self, it's important to identify and withdraw projection. This means separating the internal image from the projected object (the person you like), integrating it into consciousness, and transforming the animus into your inner partner. With this, you'll learn to reflect, think deeply, and know yourself. You'll also gain the creativity, courage, and wisdom that arise from your true nature.
This integration process will involve some important topics, including symbiosis and separation, early trauma, self-weight reconstruction, etc. At this time, you need a relationship that allows you to locate your own self again and again, and through the reactions of the relationship, awareness and clarification, identify the content of the anima, and gradually become aware.
I really think that a sustained and stable counseling relationship is the most powerful support for transformation. I'd highly recommend that you engage in long-term psychological counseling. This will help you establish a sense of self-identity more quickly and effectively, so that you will no longer want to try anything in the face of temptation.
Hi there! I'm Zhang Huili, a psychological counselor. I really hope my answer helps you out! If you find it useful, please give me a like. Thanks!


Comments
I understand those feelings can be really powerful. It's okay to have a crush, but maybe try focusing on the present and your personal growth. Sometimes imagining future scenarios can distract us from what's important now.
It's natural to feel that way, but it might help to channel that energy into other aspects of your life. Consider what you value most in relationships and how you can build a fulfilling life around those values.
Those fantasies can be intense, but remember they are just one part of who you are. Try talking to someone you trust about these feelings; sharing can sometimes lighten the load and offer new perspectives.
Feeling this way doesn't make you wrong. Crushes are a common experience. However, it's important to set boundaries for yourself and consider how these feelings impact your life and future plans.
It sounds like these feelings are persistent and significant to you. Maybe exploring why this person has such an impact on you could be enlightening. Understanding your emotions better might help you find peace with them.