Lacking education, attractiveness, and material possessions, yearning for something yet unable to attain it leaves the heart devoid of strength. What to do as a sacrificial pawn?

My name is Gu Yi. I am a modest and self-effacing individual who remains true to myself.

Individuals develop and evolve through a continuous process of self-discovery and understanding.

The most rewarding aspect of psychologists' case studies is the opportunity to assist their clients in gaining clarity on the question "Who am I?"

The question "Who am I?" may appear straightforward, but it is, in fact, a comprehensive process of self-analysis. To gain a deeper understanding of oneself, it is essential to delve beyond the surface level and explore one's true identity. This is not a simple question.

In your description, you used labels such as education, material, and appearance to define yourself, and of course, in comparison to the relatively better people you like. This comparison allows us to gain deeper insight and understanding. Having an understanding is the basis for change, and it provides direction and motivation to move forward.

Please advise as to the location in which growth is to occur.

A person with knowledge and culture is naturally attractive. Regardless of the area in which we seek improvement, reading is the most efficient method to achieve this. By reading the experiences of others, we can gain insight into diverse ways of life. Additionally, by studying the challenges and adversities faced by characters within a historical context, we can develop a deeper understanding of the world. If our minds are cultivated, we may find greater inner peace. With a positive outlook, our perspective on life will shift.

Now that you have identified your own benchmark and a suitable candidate, it is time to focus on the next steps. This is a kind of beauty that can provide full motivation to move forward. I hope you can create a feasible plan, step by step, and achieve your goals.

All the good things in life can be pursued. You are at the optimal stage of your career, so as long as you apply yourself fully to your studies and work, you will reap the rewards.

Best regards,

Dear questioner,

Hello! Reading your words carefully, I feel that you have

There is the pain of being aggrieved and suffering, the pain of not getting what you want, and also emotional depletion.

I feel that you are very aware of your emotions, and subconsciously know that you can!

Absolutely! You can help yourself with the help of external forces.

I've heard it said that the more a person cares about something, the more that becomes their source of inferiority.

For example, the questioner mentioned education, appearance, and material things, and was inspired by those who are outstanding!

Oh, I'm so excited to hear your answer to this question! Whenever someone mentions outstanding people, does the questioner feel envy and jealousy?

And jealousy? Do you have an inferiority complex?

I guess it's both! It's very complicated, but it's also very interesting!

Let's get back to the topic at hand! How can we get rid of emotional depletion?

Now for some exciting suggestions!

❤️❤️❤️ Absolutely focus on your own strengths! Don't worry about your shortcomings.

Absolutely! It's totally okay not to dwell on your shortcomings. Instead, focus on your amazing strengths!

You admire those with impressive qualifications, good looks, and a great material life!

People with high education, good looks, and a good material life also have their own amazing qualities!

And the more outstanding a person is, the greater the responsibility—but also the greater the opportunity!

The more attention he gets, the greater the pressure. People with good looks face a lot of suitors, and they love it!

Maybe he's the kind of person who loves to keep a low profile, and having many suitors is a source of excitement for him!

For example, someone with a high material standard may be lacking in the spiritual world—but there's so much more to life than that!

For example, if you have a low level of education, but you are motivated, or if you don't have very good material conditions, but you are rich in spirit!

You are rich in the spiritual world! For example, you may not be good-looking, but you will be spared

And you'll be spared harassment and stalking by perverts! So saying that you don't have something will

Make yourself feel better! Pay attention to what you have, not what you don't have.

??? Cultivate your interests and hobbies to enrich your life!

In plain English, it means finding something to do so that you can stop sitting around and start living your best life!

Practice, and you'll get rid of emotional depletion and stop obsessing over things you can't get!

Love! Life is so beautiful, time is so fleeting! Don't waste a single second!

Embrace your envy! It's a great motivator. Use it to fuel your reading and practice.

Calligraphy (learning to write with a brush) Painting Yoga Basketball Gymnastics Latin

Dancing, belly dancing, and boxing can all become your hobbies! Once you have mastered them,

And you can be like outstanding people too!

A smile is an amazing way to beat those negative emotions!

Smile in the mirror every day, practice more, and make it an

It's irreplaceable! When you see someone smiling, your heart

It'll make you feel extra bright and confident, and help you get rid of your unhappiness!

❤️❤️❤️ Contentment brings lasting joy! Cherish the "wealth" you have!

A person who knows contentment is always happy! There are always beautiful things in this world!

And the more there is, the more you want!

Your greedy heart will want to take possession of them all! But be careful, because if you do, you'll corrupt your own soul in the process.

So, never let desire become a trap for your soul! Contentment is happiness!

The answer is simple: minimize your desires! People suffer a lot because they have too many desires.

Power. Too little is too much. It's time to reduce your desires and improve your abilities! This is the source of happiness. "Man

"The heart is not content with a snake swallowing an elephant." The material life, wealth, and status you envy are all

The amazing thing is that we can't take them with us when we die, but we can't take them with us when we're born either!

I really hope this helps you think about things in a new way!

Wishing you the best of luck! I am your monarchess, and I love you!

Good day.

Host:

I have carefully read the post and can discern the internal conflict in the content. At the same time, I also noticed that the poster courageously expressed his distress and proactively sought assistance on the platform, which will undoubtedly assist the poster in gaining a deeper understanding of himself and making necessary adjustments.

I will now proceed to share my observations and thoughts on the aforementioned post, which I believe may prove beneficial to the individual in question.

1. The pain stems from the significant discrepancy between the ideal self and the real self.

The reason for the pain experienced is the significant discrepancy between the ideal self and the real self. Despite best efforts, the ideal state cannot be achieved.

This can result in significant distress and may even lead to self-attack, whereby the ideal self is perceived as rejecting the real self. Such a discrepancy can also give rise to considerable internal conflict.

The individual in question has depleted their energy reserves, leaving no remaining capacity to pursue other activities or personal growth.

The individual in question has no education, lacks physical attractiveness, is devoid of material wealth, and is lacking in competitiveness. Furthermore, he is frequently excluded from decision-making processes and is consistently rejected by those he is romantically interested in. From this, it is evident that he harbors a deep sense of self-disgust.

It is also more straightforward to identify one's own shortcomings. When we consistently focus on our shortcomings, we may perceive ourselves as inadequate and develop an inferiority complex.

This will result in significant distress. It is essential to recognize that our energy resources are finite. If we deplete them entirely, we will be left with no remaining resources when they are most needed.

2. Determine the reasons behind your admiration for that exemplary individual.

The original poster indicated that the individual in question possesses a number of admirable qualities, including being perceived as the "chosen one," being physically attractive and highly educated, and having a supportive network of friends and acquaintances. It is understandable that such a description might elicit feelings of envy. Have you ever considered why you are drawn to this person?

Psychology has a concept called projection, which means projecting our own thoughts, beliefs, and will onto the outside world. If someone happens to satisfy all the points we project, we will notice them.

Even consider him to be your ideal type. It's just that this ideal type represents our own personal ideal.

The external self or the person they like has achieved the ideal self they want to be. Therefore, it is important to understand what the host likes.

From a psychological standpoint, it is simply a matter of liking the ideal self.

3. Accept yourself.

As previously discussed, the discrepancy between one's ideal self and their actual self is a primary source of distress. It is essential to learn to bridge this gap in order to reduce suffering. How can this be achieved?

It is essential to learn to accept the real self and the current state of the self.

By accepting ourselves, we can avoid internal conflict and stop focusing on our shortcomings. How can we accept ourselves?

It means accepting the aspects of ourselves that are unchangeable and focusing our efforts on the elements that we can modify. Over time, we will naturally evolve into a more optimal version of ourselves. For instance, our height is fixed, so we must accept it.

It is possible to achieve a taller appearance by matching one's outfit. This is a viable option.

Therefore, accepting oneself is allowing oneself to move forward without hindrance, accepting one's current state, and identifying potential avenues for growth and progress. By taking action in a way that aligns with one's capabilities, we can foster meaningful and sustained change over time.

I hope these will be of some assistance and inspiration to the original poster. I am a certified coach at One Mind.

Should you require one-on-one communication, please click on Find a Coach, where I will appear.

Good morning. My name is Xintan Coach Fly, and I appreciate your attention to this matter.

It is evident that you are experiencing significant distress. You perceive yourself to be lacking in material abundance, advantages, privileges, and even the capacity to make autonomous decisions. Instead, you feel that you are being selected rather than choosing for yourself.

As previously stated, you have experienced an emotional setback, which has resulted in feelings of disillusionment, self-doubt, and self-negation, and has led to a loss of confidence and motivation to move forward.

Let me offer you a warm embrace, facilitate a deep inhalation, and assist you in achieving a state of tranquility. I will accompany you in an effort to ascertain the precise nature of your distress.

In this context, the concept of "seeking outside and cultivating inside" is pertinent.

Happiness and sadness are also patterns of behavior, and gratitude is not a natural inclination.

People are accustomed to concentrating on what they lack and what they have lost, while failing to acknowledge their existing possessions. This has led to a relentless pursuit of material gain.

People are inclined to focus on what they lack and have lost, while neglecting their current possessions. This has led to a relentless pursuit of material gain.

The question thus arises as to the relationship between happiness and other factors.

The issue at hand pertains to an individual's intrinsic motivation.

Many individuals lead lives that appear to be devoid of conscious thought and direction. Despite this, they continue to experience a sense of emptiness and lack of vitality.

Two distinct approaches to attaining happiness can be identified: an outward-focused strategy of seeking, and an inward-focused strategy of cultivation.

In conclusion, it can be stated that the aforementioned sources of external seeking are beyond one's control, and this outward seeking gives the remote control of one's life to others. The initiative is in the hands of others, and one is only able to be controlled by others. If one feels like this, seeking outside, there is always the pain of not getting what one wants. Once those external, materialistic, and positive affirmations and recognition from others are removed, one will fall into the abyss of despair and hopelessness. The pessimist Arthur Schopenhauer once said, "Life is a mass of desires. When desires are not satisfied, there is suffering; when they are satisfied, there is boredom. Life is either spent in suffering, or it is wasted in boredom." When one turns one's attention from seeking externally to seeking internally, the initiative returns to one's own hands, because one is proactive. There are many ways to cultivate one's inner self, and today I will share a very simple one that everyone can do.

The acquisition of external material possessions is a source of happiness for many individuals. Similarly, the fulfillment of spiritual needs, such as recognition, affirmation, praise, acceptance, and love, can also contribute to feelings of contentment. These sources of motivation play a significant role in influencing an individual's overall happiness.

However, many of these sources of external seeking are beyond one's control, and this outward seeking appears to transfer the remote control of one's life to others.

The initiative is in the hands of others, and one is therefore susceptible to being controlled by them.

If one is inclined to seek outside of oneself, there is always the possibility of experiencing disappointment when one's desires are not fulfilled. When external, materialistic, and positive affirmations and recognition from others are absent, it can lead to feelings of despair and hopelessness.

In his writings, the pessimist Arthur Schopenhauer observed that human existence is characterized by a multitude of desires. He further noted that when these desires remain unfulfilled, they give rise to suffering. Conversely, when they are fulfilled, they result in a state of boredom. Consequently, he concluded that life is either spent in a state of suffering or in a state of boredom.

When one shifts one's focus from external to internal pursuits, one reclaims the initiative, becoming proactive. There are numerous methods for cultivating one's inner self, and today, I will present a straightforward approach that can be readily adopted by anyone.

In Maslow's theory, self-actualization represents the pinnacle of human development and is often referred to as the "mission" of life.

When an individual is able to create value for society and others, they experience a sense of meaningfulness and happiness, which can be considered a form of mission.

Seeking one's mission and values inwardly is one method of self-cultivation. The process of self-cultivation is not only efficacious, but also joyful.

What methods can be employed to identify one's own distinctive vocation?

1) Initially, it is essential to maintain a state of awareness.

One might inquire as to whether one finds enjoyment in one's work, life, or general existence. If the response is negative, it may be inferred that one's actions are driven by an outward pursuit of gratification or the avoidance of discomfort.

2) From seeking outwardly to cultivating inwardly:

Many individuals are accustomed to attaining gratification through the pursuit of material possessions, financial gain, authority, and reputation.

It is recommended that at this juncture, one should endeavor to cease, confront, and conquer one's desires while also evading one's innermost fears through the practices of meditation, mindfulness, and prolonged periods of contemplative silence.

3) Psychotherapy can facilitate healing.

Frequently, fear is not a genuine phenomenon. The absence of something that resulted from the trauma experienced during the growth process is precisely what leads to greed. In order to satisfy these cravings, one must work hard to obtain what is desired from the external world. This is an obsession within the heart. Once this obsession is healed, one can live freely.

Admitting is the initial step in the process of growth.

I invite you to read my article, "It Turns Out That the Root Cause of Psychological Problems Is This: Self-Worth," which provides a detailed introduction to how a sense of worth affects our happy lives and how to enhance it.

It is my sincere hope that the above will prove beneficial to you and to the world at large.

Should you wish to continue the communication, you are invited to click on the link entitled "Find a coach," which can be found in the upper right-hand corner or at the bottom of the page. This will enable you to engage in further dialogue and growth with me on an individual basis.

Hello!

First of all, I think it's great that you can identify the problem, face your own problems, and try to solve them. It shows that you have a very good ability to reflect on yourself.

Of course, you have this ability because you are inferior. Take the person you admire. He is sought after, and others will accommodate his shortcomings. This means he lacks the ability to reflect on himself. He may feel that he is perfect and has no shortcomings.

We all have our flaws.

So, everything has two sides. How you look at it makes all the difference.

So, how do you solve your problem?

What are you missing? What should you be asking yourself more often?

What do you really want? Is it really that guy?

2. Is it really just your appearance that makes you feel inferior? Many people in the entertainment industry are attractive and talented, but they eventually cheat on their partners. Appearance isn't a long-term solution.

It's the "new is better" mentality.

I think you're missing the point a bit. It's not about your appearance, so don't worry about that. What you need to focus on is direction and the ability to improve yourself.

First, set a goal, break it down, and keep achieving it to build your confidence. Your strengths are often abilities that others don't have, but they often require sustained investment.

Sometimes confidence comes from what others don't know.

It's not something that can be completely changed in a few words. It'll take some time. If you need to, you can chat with me in private.