Lately, I've been feeling anxious, suspecting my husband has issues, wondering if it's my own sensitivity.

Hello, question asker!

From what you've shared in your message, it seems that being pregnant can sometimes lead to feelings of anxiety and negative thoughts that may not always align with reality.

I commend you for being aware of your situation and seeking help on this platform.

So, how might we alter the current situation?

I hope you find these suggestions helpful!

Perhaps it would be helpful to explore our anxieties in more depth.

For instance, you may be wondering why you suspect your husband. It could be helpful to ask yourself that question.

Could I ask you to consider what you might be afraid of?

It's possible that you're feeling afraid of being abandoned.

Or perhaps you are concerned about your children.

It's possible that you're feeling a bit worried about being overlooked.

It's possible that you're looking for your husband's attention.

...

The process of finding answers to your questions is a journey of self-discovery and understanding.

In this process, you may gain insight into the underlying causes of your anxiety and the nature of your thoughts.

It is worth noting that if you trust your husband, you will likely find reasons to trust him. Conversely, if you don't trust your husband, you may find reasons not to.

It is quite possible that these thoughts may undergo a qualitative change as a result of quantitative changes.

It may be helpful to explore our inner world and understand our true needs, as this could assist us in moving beyond the influence of negative thoughts.

Secondly, it may be helpful to trust your own choices and protect your marriage with trust.

Love is undoubtedly one of the most beautiful human emotions.

Could I perhaps ask you to consider the nature of love and marriage?

Perhaps we could begin by considering the definition of love and marriage as presented by the renowned psychologist Adler in his work, "Inferiority and Transcendence."

Love and marriage are arguably the most intimate forms of devotion to a partner of the opposite sex. They are expressed in various ways, including the bonding of hearts, physical attraction, and the shared desire to have children. It is evident that love and marriage both entail a cooperative aspect, and that this cooperation is not only for the happiness of the two people involved, but also for the benefit of humanity.

In this definition, it seems that the emphasis is on dedication and cooperation.

A happy marriage is based on mutual trust, mutual understanding, cooperation with each other, and dedication to each other.

Perhaps you could try to understand drinking as a social drink as him working hard for your family. This might help you to turn doubt into worry and gratitude, worrying about his health and being grateful for his efforts.

I believe that if you follow this advice, your life will be filled with love.

If I might suggest one more thing, it would be this: when you realize that you are anxious again, try to think about why you are anxious. What thoughts arise at this moment?

If I may, I would like to suggest the following questions for your consideration:

1. Could I take a moment to consider what might be causing me to have negative thoughts?

2. Could I ask what I am thinking, or perhaps what images are coming into my mind?

3. Could I perhaps inquire as to what makes me believe that my thought is correct?

4. Could I perhaps be mistaken in my thinking?

5. Is there a way I could look at this differently?

6. What are the potential consequences of this situation? How might I respond if they were to occur?

7. Could I perhaps consider what might happen in the best case?

8. Could you kindly shed some light on what is most likely to happen?

9. Could I perhaps consider what might happen if I were to keep telling myself my thoughts?

10. How might my thoughts change if I were to approach this in a different way?

11. If this were to happen to a friend of mine, how would I best support them?

Typically, after reflecting on this in a new way, we may realize that our assessment of these thoughts is, to some extent, objective. This can help us move beyond the influence of negative thoughts.

I hope this provides some helpful insight.

I hope things work out for you in the end.

June 4, 2022

Hello! I'll give you a warm hug from afar first, and I'm so excited to help you out!

You can feel the panic and anxiety inside you because your husband drinks and comes home late, but you can also feel the excitement of wanting to be understood and loved!

It's great that you're already aware of your lack of confidence in your marriage. This is a fantastic first step! Now, you can use this self-awareness to intentionally work on healing this part of yourself. There are so many ways you can do this! For example, you can try to actively learn some psychology, read some related books, try to get along with your inner fear and anxiety, become aware of it, experience it, feel your anxious and fearful emotions, and feel what the hidden needs behind it are, such as the desire to be accepted and understood, to be supported, loved, considerate, cared for, and the fear of being rejected, abandoned, unloved... When you can become aware of the hidden needs behind your fearful and anxious emotions, you may be able to respond and meet this part of your needs in a better way.

That is to take the initiative and tell your husband your true feelings and how you want to be treated! Express your desire to be understood and supported by him so you can better heal your wounds.

And there's more! You can also respond to your needs better by talking to your inner self and getting along with your emotions. For example, you can keep a mood diary to record your inner feelings of anxiety and fear in a timely manner, in order to seek a better response to your needs. Instead of always expecting your husband to give you what you need, because in this world, no one has the obligation or responsibility to give you a response and satisfaction to your needs except yourself, and no one knows you better than yourself.

I'm Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum! The world and I love you!