Hello, question owner, I hope you will accept my heartfelt condolences for your sadness and anxiety. It is understandable that you feel uncertain about when you will be able to heal. Please know that you are not to blame, and that anyone who experiences this could be in your situation. Please try to relax.
From what you have told me, it is clear that your husband's infidelity has caused you a great deal of pain. Perhaps it would be helpful to focus on your 17 years of relationship with him for a moment and try to look at the bigger picture. You both have good educations and a shared understanding, and you have been living together for 17 years, which gives you a strong emotional foundation.
I would like to suggest that perhaps there are some underlying issues that could be affecting your marriage.
From your description, it seems that during their marriage, they may have placed a higher value on their careers than on their physical and mental needs, which may have led to a lack of satisfaction in their personal lives. Over time, it's understandable that passion, companionship, or even dullness might have diminished in a marriage that has lasted so long. It's possible that familiarity and a lack of attention to each other's feelings have contributed to this.
It would be beneficial for this couple, and especially for the wife, to consider consciously bringing more attention back to her marriage and back to herself. It is important to remember that both women and men need companionship and care.
I would like to suggest that we consider the possibility that your husband's infidelity may be the result of a number of factors.
It might be helpful to try to avoid focusing too much on the mistress and to consider why your husband may have been unfaithful. It's possible that he had some unmet needs, whether it was about eating at home or simply feeling unhappy with the food he was eating. It's also worth asking yourself whether you've done everything you can to satisfy him and whether you've communicated effectively with him.
It's important to remember that cheating is not necessarily a result of marital conflict. It might be helpful to try to be aware of what has made your husband the person he is today, and to consider what he has done or not done. It's possible that things slowly changed, and that he gave someone else a chance and lost you in the process.
Life can sometimes feel dull and tasteless. It's important to find ways to bring pleasure into your life and make the most of it. Even seemingly small things like complementary care, becoming relatives, sharing a room with roommates, or the days of being a golden partner can have unexpected consequences. These issues don't just affect us individually, but also our relationships with our partners. It's crucial to recognize that our actions can have a direct impact on our marital relationships, and it's important to be mindful of how we interact with our partners and seek physical and emotional satisfaction outside of our relationships.
From the way your husband ultimately handled the situation, it can be seen that in his mind, his family is always more important than anything else. In other words, this husband was rational enough to handle the situation with the best interests of his family in mind. This to some extent shows that he loves his children and wife, but in this marriage, that is, in the process of getting along with his wife, his inner needs have not been responded to and met well. For example, he feels more and more rejected and rejected by his wife, which deeply hurts his self-esteem as a man. It might be helpful to consider why he later went out and bought a woman.
I would like to offer some advice.
If I might offer you some advice, I would say that…
1. Consider learning how to be a good woman. Being a woman does not necessarily make you a good woman. A good woman needs to learn a lot of things. Behind a successful man there must be a good woman.
2. If you love him, then give it your all. If your efforts have not changed him, then it might be time to accept that things might not work out. Accepting others is letting yourself off the hook. If both parties truly do not want to save the marriage, then it might be time to consider letting go.
3. While it may be challenging, it is important to find ways to distract yourself from your feelings of hurt. You might consider going to the gym, flower arranging, reading, listening to music, releasing dopamine, and focusing on activities that bring you joy.
4. Consider allowing yourself to become more beautiful. Many people are drawn to beauty, and embracing femininity may help to reduce the likelihood of your husband cheating on you.
I would like to reassure you that infidelity is not necessarily a sign of a lack of love, but rather a symptom of unmet needs on the part of your partner. I hope that by improving yourself, you will find the above suggestions helpful. With love and best wishes,


Comments
I can't imagine what she must be going through. He betrayed her trust not just once but multiple times, yet he's made some serious efforts to make amends. It seems like his actions with the KTV hostess were more about seeking companionship than a deep romantic connection. But does that justify his behavior? I wonder if he realizes how much pain he's caused and if he truly understands what love and commitment mean in a marriage.
It's heartbreaking to see their relationship torn apart like this. Despite everything, it sounds like he does have genuine remorse for his actions. The fact that he transferred all property to her name could be seen as an act of desperation or maybe a sign that he wants to protect her future. But the core question remains—does he still have feelings for his wife? Maybe they need to focus on rebuilding trust and finding out if there's a way forward for them.
This situation is so complex. On one hand, he has shown loyalty by remaining married and transferring assets to his wife. On the other hand, his repeated indiscretions show a lack of respect for the sanctity of their marriage. It's hard to say whether he loves his wife or if he's just trying to keep things together for the sake of appearances. What matters now is whether they can rebuild their relationship or if it's too late for reconciliation.
His behavior is baffling. While he claims friendship with the KTV hostess, the financial transactions suggest something deeper. Yet, he seems to care deeply for his family, taking good care of them and showing regret when confronted. Is this just guilt talking, or does he actually want to mend fences with his wife? Only time will tell if his actions are enough to regain her trust and if he truly values the marriage over fleeting encounters.
The man's actions speak louder than words here. His infidelity has created a rift in their marriage that may be too deep to heal. However, his willingness to take responsibility for his mistakes and his visible emotional response to the consequences might indicate that he does have strong feelings for his wife. Whether these feelings are enough to repair their broken relationship depends on both of them and their willingness to work through this crisis together.