Married my wife only after having a child, how can I avoid always accommodating her?

Dear Question Asker,

Withdrawing until you have no clear position is an attempt to maintain the family, not to lose her, and to continue living with her. I can sense that you love your wife very much and are willing to suffer for her.

It is unavoidable that couples will argue. It is inevitable that there will be conflicts in life. The key to a long-lasting relationship is mutual respect. It is important to demonstrate tolerance for your wife. It is essential to be able to show her that you have always loved her and that you want to grow old with her.

It is not uncommon for women to fantasize about marriage as a romantic ideal, where they and their partner are the sole focus, without the influence of family or children. However, in reality, marriage often involves navigating the needs and expectations of extended family and friends, which can sometimes result in feelings of being overlooked or ignored. It is important to recognize that your wife's behavior may be driven by a desire for attention and understanding. This is not uncommon in situations where there is a discrepancy between expectations and reality.

Perhaps after so many years, you have both forgotten what it was like to be each other's first love. You have become more and more adept at playing the roles of husband and father, while your wife remains stuck in the past, never wanting to grow up. The process of growing up is often painful, and she has to learn to reconcile herself with many things from the past that she has never been able to reconcile, not to mention a whole series of recent events.

Consider the potential consequences of her sudden reconciliation with her family. It's unlikely that she has matured during her marriage; rather, she seems to be driven by desperation. This is a troubling sign that could lead to a breakdown in the relationship.

How can you demonstrate your love for your wife? It is essential to possess high emotional intelligence in order to navigate between her and your family. It is crucial to protect your wife and understand the reasons behind her arguments with the elders. The conflict is between the elders' traditional ideas and your wife's new perspectives. It is a conflict of ideas, not your wife's lack of consideration. If you adopt the wrong approach, you risk pushing your wife into a dead end repeatedly.

In such circumstances, a gesture of physical affection is often more effective than a lengthy discourse.

There are no absolute right or wrong answers when it comes to family matters. The family unit is a place of love.

Hello!

Accommodating and distortion

Accommodation is a kind of endurance that feels distorted.

Why is this? Is there a state of rejection where one dislikes and rejects the other's character traits or actions?

2. Rejection and irritation

A person's sense of rejection can trigger a reaction in another person. Even if it's not obvious, it can be detected in attitude.

How will this affect the atmosphere between the two people?

If someone senses rejection, will they become more emotional, less rational, and less communicative?

Love and rejection make people act differently. Love inspires love, while rejection inspires a counterattack.

The three together make up the positions of the two people.

Everyone has their own position, but marriage involves combining different positions.

We don't just stand on our own position, but also on the other person's. When the other person is accusing or complaining, we listen and judge whether their interests have been harmed.

We should try to find a balance that works for everyone.

Love moderates.

Love includes understanding and caring. This helps calm emotions and communicate better.

Love is about sharing yourself too. This helps the other person see you and build a good relationship.

This is just a general overview. Think about it and I hope it helps!

It is challenging to move on from the past.

In our Chinese tradition, we respect the elderly and love the young. This is something you should be commended for. It is also understandable that you will experience sadness and difficulty in making a decision due to concerns about potential loss.

The process was extremely challenging. Loss entails the loss of positive experiences and memories associated with the individual in question.

Furthermore, it is akin to denying the beauty of your past. It is a challenging situation.

Could you please clarify where the love went?

Good day, host. When I saw your title, my initial impression was that you married for the sake of your children. Have you ever considered that?

I can see that you are experiencing distress in this situation. When there is a conflict, you find yourself in a challenging position, with a difficult choice to make. You are torn between your daughter-in-law on the left and your mother on the right.

In your description, he has a very eccentric personality. He does things to extremes and speaks harshly. Could you please elaborate on how you came to be in a relationship with him?

I am curious about how you came to have a child with him. Why are you using these harsh words against him now? How does he feel when he sees them? Is he also sad?

From my perspective, when you use the term "accommodating," it does not convey a sense of tolerance. Instead, it suggests that I have been tolerating a situation that may potentially lead to a breakdown at any moment.

You discuss your daughter-in-law at length. Have you considered the positive aspects of your relationship with your late husband?

Are these the only areas of concern? When you cite specific instances of unkind behavior, it would be easier for me to assess the situation and provide constructive feedback.

Please provide further details.

Please elaborate on your principles and bottom lines. Have you given these matters sufficient consideration?

You have indicated that you respect your elders. Respecting your elders also entails having principles and boundaries, rather than accommodating them unquestioningly.

Could you please elaborate on your principles and bottom lines?

Or do you believe that your daughter-in-law should comply with your every request, and that is your guiding principle? That is a commendable approach, and she will likely refrain from being harsh, correct?