My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship, and he recently proposed a breakup. How can I win him back?

Dear author, I hope this message finds you well. I just wanted to say that seeing words is like meeting in person.

Long-distance relationships do face many challenges. I can sense the difficulty you're facing and your hesitancy to let go of your boyfriend. It requires time and effort to salvage a relationship. I offer some suggestions that may be helpful:

1. Communication: It would be beneficial to communicate openly with your boyfriend and find out the reason for his breakup. Listen to his thoughts and feelings, and at the same time express your own inner thoughts.

2. Find solutions: If the reasons for the break-up are solvable, such as distance or communication problems, it might be helpful to try to find solutions together. You could discuss plans for meeting, increase the frequency of communication, or work together to set some goals and plans.

3. Allow the other person time and space: It may be helpful to give the other person some time and space to calm down and think things through. It's important to respect their need for space without being overly demanding.

4. Improve yourself: There is a saying, "Use the time you spend chasing a horse to plant grass." During this period of time, you might consider focusing on improving yourself and becoming better and more confident. This could help you better face emotional problems and potentially attract your boyfriend back to you.

It is also important to respect the other person's decision and to learn to accept and let go if it is irreparable after trying your best. I hope these suggestions are helpful to you, and I wish you the best of luck!

If it would be helpful to you, you are welcome to speak with the teachers here about what happened between you. They will be happy to assist you.

I would like to suggest two books that you might find helpful.

1. "Fly with You to the End of the World": This book offers fifty key lessons on love by the renowned Taiwanese novelist Chen Xue.

The author touches on the nuances of love and relationships, drawing upon his own experiences to shed light on the essence of love. It might prompt readers to reflect on the nature of love and how to align their inner selves with its true meaning.

2. "Love Lesson": This book is also a noteworthy work by Chen Xue, and it offers a personal reflection on the nature of love.

The author employs the transformative power of love in the book to illuminate its true meaning for the reader. It may foster a deeper understanding of love and offer guidance on how to cultivate and persevere in love.

I hope my answer is helpful to you.

I believe that this unity of knowledge and action will bring us happiness in the rest of our lives.

Good day. I extend my warmest regards from afar.

I am pleased to see that you have sought assistance and hope that my input will provide you with the support and guidance you require. It is evident that being terminated from a relationship can result in feelings of abandonment, lack of love, distress, sadness, and upset.

He is aware of your reluctance to terminate the relationship, as it has no defined beginning or end. From his perspective, the relationship began with a promising start but has since reached a point of stagnation. He also recognizes the significant effort and dedication you have invested in the relationship.

Your attempts to salvage the relationship are driven by two factors: your reluctance to accept that your efforts have been wasted and your unconscious tendency to attribute the breakup to a lack of self-worth and abandonment. This fixation on proving your worthiness and innocence in the situation prevents you from responding calmly to the breakup. Admitting personal shortcomings and the role of abandonment in the relationship is challenging for anyone.

It is important to understand that the dissolution of a relationship is a result of the shortcomings of both parties involved. A relationship is a dynamic entity, and its end is not a reflection of one party's inadequacies.

For the time being, it is important to accept and allow yourself to process the situation. It is natural to experience a range of emotions, including sadness, distress, and confusion, as a result of the breakup. It is crucial to acknowledge and accept these feelings. One effective method is to document your current emotional state in writing.

It is important to recognize that nothing is absolute. It is beneficial to identify your strengths and weaknesses in the relationship. When you can learn from your mistakes and improve yourself through active learning and growth, the growth you have achieved will far outweigh the harm caused by the relationship.

The growth that this relationship has brought you will far outweigh the hurt he has caused you.

It is also important to understand that if your boyfriend proposes a breakup, it is because there are unresolved conflicts in the relationship. It is not a matter of principle, such as a lack of love or betrayal. You can try to find an opportunity to talk openly and honestly with your boyfriend. You can tell him your true feelings and express your thoughts on the relationship. However, you must respect his right to reject you.

Furthermore, you have the right and freedom to express your feelings and needs in a forthright manner when you are hurt.

My name is Lily, and I am a regular listener of the Q&A Pavilion. I am passionate about the world and about you.