My boyfriend comes from a single-parent family and grew up with his mother. How should I get along with him?

Hello, I'm Jianlin, a psychological counselor, and I'm thrilled to be here with you today!

I have just carefully read your question, and I'm thrilled to tell you that it's clear you're absolutely delighted in this process of love!

Congratulations on finding the love of your life! At the same time, you have some concerns about this happy process.

The only concern is that the man is from a single-parent family. I'm sure you'll be able to get along with the family members of such a family!

How do you get along with your mother-in-law? I'm sure it'll be great! And are you worried about whether your boyfriend's previous domestic violence will affect your relationship? Don't be!

This is also your inner concern as your love rushes towards a family.

First of all, I can tell you for sure that your concerns

It might be a factor, but it's not as serious as you think!

The key to a happy family is knowing how to manage your relationship after marriage. If any family doesn't know how to manage and care for each other,

If we can manage our family and our emotional lives together, then we can be happy!

Including our relationships with our mothers-in-law, we need to have a management mindset. To put it simply, if you are a salesperson, how would you treat your customer so that he or she becomes your permanent customer?

Absolutely! When we start from this point, you will find that problems are easy to solve.

Absolutely! Single-parent families aren't complete in terms of love, so the boyfriend might feel a bit inferior. But that's totally normal!

With your love and complete acceptance, the situation will gradually improve. And being someone who understands him is more precious than love!

And then there's our mother-in-law! She might have a bigger influence on this process.

Since he was previously a victim of domestic violence and has been single for a long time, he has become dependent on his son for support. His son has become an important part of his life, which is really great to see!

In other words, he fills the love that is lacking in her husband with his son. When such a relatively peaceful environment is created, your presence shares the love that her son has for his mother.

Your mother will feel a sense of loss, but this is an opportunity for you to step in and fill the void with your love and attention! If this sense of loss is not filled and released through other emotions, it will lead to increased attention being paid to your relationship and your life.

This may more easily lead to family problems. So at this time, you should pay more attention to getting along with your mother-in-law, so that she feels that your presence does not take away from your son's love, but that you are an additional person who loves him. This is a great opportunity for you to show her how much you care about her and your son!

Make sure he knows how much you value him and love him, and he'll be happier! This will help create a more harmonious family atmosphere.

In other words, throughout the process, you can understand that your husband loves you on the basis of that, and at the same time, you get to take care of your mother-in-law's sense of psychological love and balance. A family like yours will be happier than any other family, because the focus of such a family is only one, and that is your husband and his son. Seizing your mother-in-law is equivalent to seizing the happiness of the whole family, which is a wonderful thing!

Now that we've gone over these concerns and worries together, I'm sure you'll feel much more at ease about married life in your boyfriend's single-parent family!

I really hope this helps! Thank you so much!

Hi, I'm Heart's Home.

Your boyfriend is eight years older than you. He lives with his mother after their divorce due to his father's domestic violence. You can sense his inferiority complex and insecurity in your relationship. You're also wondering if he'll commit domestic violence in the future. It seems to be quite a dilemma for you.

How long have you and your boyfriend been together? What first drew you to him?

Can you tell me a bit about the pattern of interaction between you two during the relationship? And how do you feel about him?

Do you feel like you understand each other better now?

You sense that he has an inferiority complex and is insecure. I'm guessing you love him, care about him, and are able to pay attention to his inner emotions.

Can you give me an example of how he shows his inferiority complex and insecurity? What does he say or do?

When you sense this, have you tried to help him build his confidence and find a sense of security?

Have you had an honest conversation with him about this? Speak openly, calmly, and objectively about your feelings, thoughts, and needs, and then listen patiently to his feelings, thoughts, and inner longings.

Could we work together to find a direction or method that will help us both grow?

The description says your family is normal. What does that mean? How do you know if a family is normal?

How can you tell the difference?

He lives with his mother. Have you met her? If so, how did she treat you?

What were your thoughts and reactions? How did you feel about how he interacted with your mother?

Your parents separated because of domestic violence, which has made you wonder—or maybe even anxious—about whether he'll act the same way as your father did.

We can't say that if a father has violent behavior, his son will definitely do the same. But your concerns are totally normal.

The fact that you can think of this shows you're aware and self-aware, and that you're taking responsibility for yourself. That's admirable and appreciated.

When you have concerns, do you talk to your parents or other family members for advice?

If so, how did they react?

If not, what were your thoughts on that?

I might not be able to give you the final answer to your question. After all, you're the one in this relationship, so you have the most genuine feelings and the most profound experiences. You're the expert on your own problems, so only you have the right to speak and choose.

You might need to take a step back, get real with yourself, and listen to what you want from this relationship. Ask yourself if you're ready to grow with him, become a better version of yourself, make this love work, and achieve your best self.

This isn't an easy task, but when you come to us for help, it shows that you're ready to change and grow.

Next, you may need to have unwavering faith, put in consistent effort, and be patient. With time, the answer will become clearer.

I wish you the best of luck.

Hello, I am Zi Ding Ya Xiang, the purple lilac flower with an elegant fragrance. First, I'd like to give the questioner a hug!

The questioner said her boyfriend is 8 years older than her and grew up in a single-parent family. Research shows that children in single-parent families have the following characteristics:

1. Not feeling safe.

2. Strong and independent.

3. Close relatives.

4. Strong sense of self-worth.

5. They are more likely to have low self-esteem.

6. Jealous.

Most children raised by a single parent have these traits. But it also depends on the relatives.

Get to know the boyfriend's mother. If she is strong-willed, the son may become a mama's boy.

If the mother is smart, this boyfriend is an exception.

The original poster also said she felt inferior, insecure, and lacking in confidence. From what you've already picked up on,

You can move him with love. He has been subjected to gossip at school and in life, which may have led to low self-esteem and a lack of security.

Give him respect and understanding so he can feel at home. Home is important for children from single-parent families.

I don't want my family to be incomplete.

The questioner also said her boyfriend's father left home because of violence. She is also worried that her boyfriend will be violent, but there is no need to worry.

Children in violent homes appreciate what they have more. Everyone has a violent side.

You can also see if your boyfriend is attentive, responsible, and gets along with your future mother-in-law.

I hope you're well.

Good morning, I am Yan Shiqi, and I am honored to have the opportunity to answer your questions.

From what I can gather from the question, it seems that the poster is quite aware of her concerns. On the one hand, she loves her boyfriend and wants to protect him; on the other hand, she is worried about his father's domestic violence.

Let's start with the first point: protecting him.

It is often the case that a person's character is formed in childhood. As a result, it may be helpful to consider the character of a boyfriend in the context of his previous family situation.

It is likely that if his parents did not argue or commit domestic violence in front of him when he was young, the impact on him will not be significant.

If such an environment is created, it could potentially lead to feelings of insecurity in the child.

It is also important to consider how his mother raised him, as everyone's lack of security manifests differently.

It is challenging to discuss such abstract situations.

One thing you might consider is learning to respect him and get along with him with warm love. It's possible he'd appreciate that.

Secondly, I wonder if the father's violence might have an impact on him.

It would seem that the answer depends on the boy's willpower and control over his emotions.

If he has observed his father's behavior when he was a little older and has developed a sense of protecting his mother,

A child with such strong will and courage is likely to be resilient in the face of external influences, including those from their father.

It might be helpful to remember that these qualities are hidden in a person's character. Perhaps the questioner could spend more time with her boyfriend. After spending time together, you might find that you get to know each other better and find the answers to these two questions.

I believe we can find the answer together.

I hope my answer is helpful to you.

Hello, question asker. My name is Evan.

From the author's account, it seems that she and her boyfriend have a good relationship, but she has some concerns about their future together. Given that the author's boyfriend comes from a single-parent family, she is uncertain about her future life. How can you manage your negative emotions and navigate your future intimate relationship?

In such a situation, a gentle pat on the shoulder can be a reassuring gesture. When communicating with your current boyfriend, you can calmly, sincerely, and clearly state your feelings and discuss topics that concern you. As the question was originally posed on the platform, I would also like to offer the questioner some brief advice:

It would be beneficial to be on the same wavelength as your boyfriend.

It would be beneficial to respond with clear interest or support for your boyfriend's decision. Making eye contact with your boyfriend and nodding your head could be a way to show that you are listening to him with interest and support.

When he talks about something or asks a question, it would be helpful to respond in a way that shows you are listening and engaged. This could mean listening carefully to what he has to say, asking a relevant question, telling him you support the decision he has made, or sharing something about yourself and asking him to support you.

It is important to show your interest and support, or what some might call a "bias" towards your boyfriend, as a basis for a good relationship. If your boyfriend talks about emotionally charged topics, you can support him and whatever difficult things he brings up.

For instance, if he mentions that he had a disagreement with his boss, it might be best to refrain from immediately dismissing his feelings. Instead, it could be helpful to inquire about the situation and offer your support. You could say something like, "That must have been difficult."

I'm so sorry you've been through this. How can I help?

"

Perhaps you could talk about your relationship or the future?

It is often helpful for the questioner to talk to their boyfriend about their relationship. This can be a good way to discuss concerns about the current relationship or ideas for the future, as well as feelings about each other's progress. One way to start a conversation about the relationship is to ask your boyfriend how it has developed over time.

It might be helpful to have some relationship discussions and future discussions. Perhaps you could start with asking your boyfriend what made him first think that we should start dating. You could also ask him what the biggest change he's noticed in you since we started dating is.

As a girlfriend, I wonder if I might ask what my strengths and weaknesses are, and how I might improve.

"Could I ask your thoughts on our future? I'd be interested to hear about your plans for the future."

"I have some thoughts about the future. Would it be possible for us to talk about them?" "I cherish the time I spend with you, but I'm concerned about the pain you experienced at the hands of your father. What are your thoughts on that?"

"

It might be helpful to discuss your relationship calmly with your boyfriend.

When the relationship between the questioner and her boyfriend is tested, it is advisable to maintain an objective and calm tone of voice when discussing the relationship. If you find that the two of you are having problems as a couple, it would be helpful to keep an open mind and avoid getting emotional.

It might be helpful to focus on the occasional passion that spices up your intimate relationship, rather than being complacent with the status quo.

If the questioner wants to tell her boyfriend that her childhood experiences are troubling her, you could say something like, "I hope you don't think I'm nitpicking. I care about you and our relationship, and I just want our relationship to be perfect."

"If you want to continue with me, I would appreciate it if you could reassure me and be honest with me about how you feel about our relationship and your difficult childhood. I would then be more inclined to consider our future together."

It might be helpful to address the issues directly.

It may seem easier to just let things take their course and avoid difficult topics. However, it is possible that avoiding difficult topics may not be the best approach.

Instead, it might be helpful to take some time to discuss the issue. You could say something like, "I know I'm having more concerns about our relationship now, and I think they're coming up because I'm starting to think about getting serious with you."

"I would really appreciate it if we could find some time to talk." It is important to remember that avoiding these difficult issues will only make things slowly get worse and eventually gradually destroy your relationship.

Perhaps you could say something like, "I think we can have a calm and honest discussion about our problems." Or, "Your childhood wounds need to be discussed, and I hope you can keep an open mind."

"

It would be beneficial to be as honest as possible about your feelings.

Consider whether you might be avoiding talking about your feelings. If so, try to think about the reasons for this and explain them to him.

Perhaps it would be helpful to mention that I have been feeling quite stressed recently, partly because of your childhood experiences. I have been reflecting on this and I wonder if it might be a kind of defense mechanism.

"I would like to have a stable relationship, but I am concerned about the potential influence of your father. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and uncertain about the future. I hope that couples can be honest with each other and accommodate each other. I hope you can discuss this with me patiently."

I would like to kindly request your patience.

It is always best to communicate patiently, regardless of the issue at hand. The subject should be compassionate and strive to convey their thoughts to their boyfriend in a clear and respectful manner.

In the event of a conflict or problem, it is important to remain calm and try to understand the other person's perspective. You could say, for example, "I don't want to put too much pressure on you."

I hope we can communicate patiently about this, and I hope you can listen to me patiently. I promise we can talk calmly and honestly about anything.

It would be helpful to be honest about your goals and intentions.

When discussing emotionally difficult topics, it is often best to be as open and honest as possible. Whether the subject wants to talk about improving the relationship or solving a problem, it is important to be upfront and clear about one's intentions.

Perhaps you could say something like, "I'd like to talk to you about whether our relationship has a future. Do you have any plans for your future emotional life?"

How might we maintain consistency in our love life? What kind of commitment do you feel you can give in a relationship?

Perhaps we could talk about your single-parent family life? I sometimes feel like I can't give you what you want.

"Because I am full of fear about the future, I hope you can offer me comfort and confidence. I hope you can value my feelings."

In an intimate relationship, open communication is often seen as a key factor in maintaining a long-lasting relationship. Communication and respect are often considered essential ingredients of an intimate relationship.

It would be beneficial to be honest with your loved one and express your heartfelt gratitude and understanding for each other.

I hope my answer is helpful!

Greetings!

Your concerns about your boyfriend's background—in particular, his upbringing in a single-parent household and his exposure to a less than optimal environment—have led to a certain degree of apprehension and trepidation when it comes to dating him. This has left you in a state of ambivalence.

1. Accurately discern the impact of the original family.

It is evident that the family of origin exerts a profound influence on an individual's personality development and characteristics. Indeed, each family of origin faces its own unique challenges, and no family is without imperfections.

Nevertheless, it is erroneous to assume that children from dysfunctional families will inevitably develop problematic behaviors. An individual's personality and character are not solely shaped by their family environment; they are also influenced by external factors such as the school environment, life circumstances, and personal attributes. There are numerous examples of children from dysfunctional families who have thrived despite the challenges they have faced.

For example, a child who observed his father's abuse of his mother in the original family may develop feelings of disapproval and fear towards his father's behavior. This may result in a determination to be gentle towards those he loves in the future. He may also become determined to be a tolerant and generous father, and may especially desire a positive family atmosphere within his own small family unit. Additionally, he may become especially responsible.

2. One must eliminate the labels that have been assigned and establish a profound connection with the authentic self.

It is imperative to refrain from applying stereotypical theories to him and to interact with him without preconceptions.

Through interaction, one can gain a profound comprehension of the personality traits, behavioral patterns, and interaction styles of one's romantic partner.

Furthermore, one might consider the psychological underpinnings of the instinctive desire to protect him. It is possible that you have positioned yourself in a role of vulnerability, akin to that of a dependent or weak individual in need of protection, which may create discomfort for him.

The most crucial element in an intimate relationship is mutual respect, mutual trust, mutual care, and treating each other with sincerity. Only through the act of opening one's heart to the other can a deeper emotional connection be established, and the other's deepest needs be understood.

If one is able to discern the presence of an inferiority complex and insecurity in the other, one may then inquire as to the underlying causes of this perception. Is this sentiment genuine, or has it been shaped by the labels that have been ascribed to the other?

One must consider how to provide support and companionship with greater patience if the individual in question exhibits low self-esteem and insecurity, and to maintain a stable relationship with the objective of facilitating healing within the relationship.

3. Communication serves as the conduit for the development and sustenance of intimate relationships, yet it is a skill that requires continual learning.

Communication is crucial for fostering intimacy and harmony in a relationship. However, as the intimacy of the relationship increases, the importance of effective communication may become less apparent.

The foundation of effective communication is the ability to listen patiently and respect the ideas of others. If this is not possible, communication may become a futile exercise in which ideas are expressed without being heard, and a connection cannot be established.

It is imperative to refrain from expressing oneself in a judgmental or accusatory manner. Making subjective assumptions about other people's thoughts and labeling them is a significant transgression in the realm of communication.

Through the acquisition of effective communication skills, it is possible to gain a deeper understanding of another person, establish an emotional connection with them, and achieve a profound comprehension of their being. With the passage of time, one may gain the insight needed to respond to the question posed.

It is my hope that Hongyu's reply will prove beneficial to you. I am grateful for your inquiry.

Hello! I think I can answer this question because I'm a single parent, so I've been through it myself.

His father passed away when he was 60, sadly due to illness. By the time I got married, my mom and I had been living together for nearly ten years.

It's totally understandable to be concerned about how to get along with a boy from a single-parent family and whether he'll become a domestic abuser.

Let me start by answering your first question.

If the boy's parents divorced when he was very young and his father often got into fights, it might have an impact on him as he grows up. It's important to take your time and really get to know him, because you'll be spending a lot of time together. You'll be able to see how he acts, what he thinks, and how he feels. You'll also be able to see if his views are similar to yours.

You've got this! Trust your feelings, and trust yourself.

If the boy's parents divorce when he comes of age and his father has tendencies that could be perceived as domestic violence, it may not have a significant impact on the boy. This is because his personality is basically stable, his values have already been formed, and he has his own views on right and wrong.

So, there's no need to fret too much about the impact of his family.

However, for children who have a single parent and spend a long time living with the opposite sex, it's important to consider the issue of independence.

If the boy's parents divorce, the mother is likely to place all her emotions in her son. This can sometimes lead to the mother and son becoming emotionally entangled, which might prevent the boy from becoming independent and turning him into a "mama's boy" type of giant baby. If this is the case with the boy, it's important to be aware and pay attention to how he's doing.

Finally, I just want to say that you should try not to wear sunglasses and that you shouldn't have any preconceived notions that children from single-parent families are abnormal and will definitely have problems. Everything needs to be discovered and concluded in your interactions with the boy.

Let's dive into the second question, shall we?

It's totally understandable to be worried that the boy will learn from his father and become violent. It's not an easy situation to navigate, and it's important to take your time and observe and understand the situation as much as you can.

It's so sad, but children who have been victims of domestic violence often become violent towards the next generation when they become adults. This is because they identify with their father and use violence to defend themselves against the psychological pain caused by their father's abuse. But there are also children who do not identify with their father's violent behavior and act in the opposite way, firmly opposing violence and not doing anything violent.

You've got this! Just remember to experience, understand, observe, and trust yourself, and be responsible for yourself in your interactions with boys.

I wish you all the happiness in the world!

Dear Landlord, I hope that my response will prove to be of some assistance to you.

In fact, children from single-parent families are not necessarily as vulnerable and in need of protection as is commonly assumed. One need only consider the examples of the brothers who have overcome all obstacles to recognize this.

For example, Jordan Chan, Julian Cheung, and Lee Seung-hyun all grew up in single-parent families. However, it is evident that they are particularly family-oriented and demonstrate a profound commitment to their wives. This can be attributed to the fact that during their formative years, they exhibited a profound longing for the warmth and love of a family unit. Consequently, they all value their current lives and attach significant importance to their families.

As Lee Seung-hyun observed, "Since I entered into matrimony, I am disinclined to pursue a divorce, as I am disinclined to replicate the familial trajectory of my parents."

Professor Li Meijin has observed that the crime rate among children from single-parent families is not high, and that the highest crime rate is among the "youngest child" in the family. This is because parents tend to lavish the youngest child with excessive affection, which can result in the child becoming egocentric and lacking an understanding of boundaries and rules.

It can be observed that in some single-parent families, children who grow up in such families may also attribute blame to their parents for their mistakes, citing a lack of appropriate guidance and discipline. For instance, the cases of Wu Yifan and Huo Zun can be cited as examples. Conversely, in some affluent, well-balanced families, children may also exhibit problematic behaviours as a result of their parents' excessive indulgence. The well-known "Li Tianyi incident" is a case in point. The parents were both prominent singers, and the family was financially secure. However, they had a child later in life and indulged Li Tianyi excessively, which ultimately led to his downfall and contributed to a tragic outcome.

Consequently, if parents are able to provide their children with an appropriate level of love, such that the children feel loved yet constrained, then even in the event of divorce or the absence of a parent, they are still able to lead a happy life. An illustrative example of this is Gu Ailing.

One might inquire, however, as to the potential impact of growing up in a single-parent family on one's emotional state.

First and foremost, it is imperative to dissuade the individual from self-denial or self-attack. It is crucial to recognize that the impact of one's original family on an individual's identity is, in fact, constrained. The potential for personal growth and transformation is within reach, contingent upon one's own efforts.

First and foremost, it is imperative to dissuade the individual from engaging in self-denigration or self-aggression. It is essential to recognize that the impact of one's original familial environment is, in fact, constrained, and that one can actualize their desired identity through their own endeavors.

It is imperative to persuade him that although familial relationships inevitably entail certain disadvantages, these are limited in scope and can be addressed. Just as my three brothers previously mentioned, he can also surmount obstacles and achieve personal success.

The renowned developmental psychologist Bronfenbrenner initially proposed the "ecological system theory." This theory posits that the "original family" constitutes a subsystem that exerts a profound influence on an individual, yet it is not the sole determinant. In addition to the original family, there are also subsystems, including school, society, and the workplace, that can exert an impact on us.

Furthermore, the impact of a single subsystem on an individual is not determinative. The influence of the original family is not irreparable.

Indeed, a multitude of factors influence an individual's growth. In addition to the family of origin, each person is also exposed to other social circles, including educational institutions, peer groups, and professional networks. Furthermore, individuals acquire knowledge through various channels to facilitate continued growth. It is also essential to recognize the significant role of inner strength in this process.

Indeed, a multitude of factors influence an individual's growth and development. In addition to the family unit, each person interacts with other social systems, including educational institutions, peer groups, and professional networks. These interactions and the acquisition of knowledge through various channels contribute to the individual's growth and maturation. Moreover, it is essential to recognize the significant role of psychological resilience in the process of personal growth. This intrinsic capacity enables individuals to effectively cope with challenges, repair themselves, and flourish.

As a girlfriend, it is beneficial to observe the relationship dynamics of one's sisters-in-law, such as Cherrie Ying, Anita Yuen, and Qi Wei. These women share a common trait: they are highly supportive of their husbands, demonstrating unwavering love and encouragement. It is not uncommon to hear them express praise, trust, and encouragement towards their partners. By emulating these behaviors, it is possible to foster a relationship that is characterized by warmth, support, acceptance, understanding, and love. This positive influence can have a significant impact on the relationship and potentially lead to a similar level of happiness and fulfillment as observed in these women's relationships.

The question of whether one will become a victim of domestic violence is one that requires comprehensive consideration. It is possible to observe the situation in order to gain a deeper understanding of it. There is no need to rush into marriage with the individual in question. Instead, it may be beneficial to spend more time with them and observe how they handle conflicts and disagreements in your daily life. If they are able to discuss things verbally and do not resort to extreme measures, then it is less likely that they have been a victim of domestic violence. However, if you find that they do have a tendency to be a victim of domestic violence, then ultimately, you will need to make your own choice: whether to stay or leave. It is important to remember that you will have to bear the consequences of your choice. It is crucial to remember that, at all times, you have the right to choose, but making a choice also means taking on your corresponding responsibilities.

The suggestions provided are intended to serve as a reference point for the individual to make their own decision.

It is my hope that this information will prove useful to you. Best wishes,