My boyfriend's words always irritate me; are we not a good match?

This forum is tackling a really interesting topic, and it's something that every couple can relate to. It's a classic challenge in relationships: finding a balance between having your own unique perspective and seeking common ground.

1. We all know that no two stones in the world are exactly the same!

From what you've told me, it seems like you and your boyfriend have different ideas about some things. It's totally normal to have differences! We're all unique, after all.

It's only natural that two people will have different views and opinions. It would be a bit hasty to say that you and your boyfriend are not suited to each other just because of these differences.

2. Do you think the differences between the two sides are really that unreasonable?

Everyone's perception is a unique way of understanding the world. It's not easy to say that someone else's perspective is wrong or unreasonable. It's like a coin: you see side A and he sees side B. Can you say that what he sees isn't a coin? No way!

It's okay! What he describes is also a real and objective reality. You just haven't been aware of it yet, which is totally understandable. That's why it can be hard to deny the other person's point of view.

Take the example you gave of brushing your teeth. There's no clear evidence one way or the other as to whether it's better to brush your teeth in the morning or after breakfast. However, brushing your teeth after meals is actually really beneficial to maintaining oral cleanliness and hygiene because it promptly removes food residue attached to the teeth.

I know it can be hard to believe, but there's no such thing as dirt in the mouth! There are always bacteria in our mouths, and they enter our digestive tract with saliva 24 hours a day. It doesn't matter whether you brush your teeth or not, and the acid in our stomachs can easily kill bacteria that enter from the outside.

If you eat the same meal, why not brush your teeth before dinner or lunch? Don't worry, the bacteria in your mouth won't multiply and be swallowed with saliva throughout the morning and the whole day!

I hope the above example helped you to see that our views can often be biased, even if we don't realise it. Unless there's clear evidence that the other person's point of view is harmful, it's just another perspective that describes the world in a way you've never perceived before, which is totally reasonable!

3. How can we find common ground despite our differences?

(1) The real incompatibility in couples or married couples is often just a misunderstanding of details and conflicts, and a little bit of a wrong way of communicating.

If we don't understand, it might be because we're a little arrogant. We might think our ideas are more reasonable or even that they're the only correct ones. But this is just our arrogance talking, not the reality.

When we communicate with others out of arrogance, it can be really tough to really listen and understand the other person's demands. We might find ourselves getting caught up in an endless debate without a referee, and it's this kind of endless debate that can be harmful.

2) When we come across differences, it's always a good idea to take a moment to reflect. Have we perhaps been a little too quick to dismiss the other person's views because we were too sure of our own? It can be really helpful to try to put ourselves in the other person's shoes and think about things from their perspective. If it's not an issue, then there's no need to argue!

3) If the difference only involves the other person, you can mention it, but there's no need to dwell on it. After all, the other person is also an adult, and they can decide what they want and don't want at the moment.

There's absolutely no need for you to accuse or demand anything of him "for his own good."

4) If the differences involve you and affect your shared life, then gently raise the issue with your partner and try to communicate and discuss it as peacefully as possible. The purpose of communication and discussion is not to change anyone, but to convey your own demands and at the same time tell the other person what they need to do to make their emotional demands met, as well as the minimum level of behavior that the other person needs to achieve in order to make you feel good.

Instead of blaming, arguing, breaking up, and forcing changes, let's try to find a way to communicate and work through our differences together.

5) If there are huge differences in the way the two people perceive communication when faced with differences, it might be best to separate. Or if you think your own ideas are more reasonable in every way, it might be best to separate.

We often use the analogy of a shoe and a foot to describe relationships, but this isn't quite right. A shoe and a foot can't be adjusted, but a person can change and adapt themselves (not be forced to change by others). So, whether something is suitable or not is a bit of a false proposition.

I truly believe that the best way to solve emotional problems is to focus on creating a good emotional life for both people involved.

I really hope this helps!

Dear questioner,

After reading your question, I get the impression that you're a girl who's great at spotting issues. You can see what's wrong with others and also reflect on yourself. That's a really valuable skill.

I'll go over the issues you've brought up and summarize them into three points:

Firstly, you don't like the way your boyfriend argues and speaks illogically.

Second, you feel like you have a tendency to find fault with others. Your boyfriend expresses his dissatisfaction by putting forward fallacious arguments.

Third, you're a little confused about whose problem this "nit-picking vs. arguing back" communication state is. Have you lost interest in your boyfriend?

You've already thought about the first and second points, and you can see that this is a state of communication—one person picking on the other and the other fighting back. And neither person likes it.

Let's take a closer look at the situation.

Then let's look at "whose problem is this kind of communication." If I say it's not one person's problem, and both people need to change, I'd like to know if you agree.

The communication situation you describe is pretty common in every intimate relationship. Sometimes it can be a bit much, but it's probably not a big deal, just everyday stuff like chewing gum without brushing your teeth.

If it happens every day, it can really be very uncomfortable if you can't adapt to each other. This is something that obviously can't be left unsaid, especially if you already feel uncomfortable.

Is there a way your boyfriend could change his habit? Could you just try changing the order?

I think so.

I see that you said the two of you ended up arguing back and forth, and your boyfriend "nodded and didn't say anything else," which means that he did compromise and was willing to give in a little, but he stopped talking first. I don't know if this is how your usual communication is like.

From my perspective, if you make a change, consider modifying the way you communicate. This could potentially lead to your boyfriend being more cooperative. This is just my guess, and whether it's effective or not depends on you making a small change and seeing how your boyfriend reacts.

What should you do exactly?

First, think back to a time when you gave your boyfriend advice and he was happy to follow it, or a time when he was less unhappy. How did you manage that?

Second, if you find yourself in a situation like the first point above, try communicating with your boyfriend in that way next time. If it works, do it more often.

If you can't remember, that's okay. Just pay attention to the situation in the first point during the following week. It's fine if you get a little closer. Make a note of it, and if you have the opportunity, you can discuss it here to see what changes.

From what you've said, I get the sense that you're able to perceive things well. I think that focusing more on positive communication will make a difference. I also suggest reading "Nonviolent Communication" and trying out the communication method of "observations → feelings → needs → requests."

The second doubt, "Is it because I don't like my boyfriend anymore?," is also very important. In fact, I'd say it's even more important. I won't go into it here because there isn't enough information, so I also suggest that you find some time to sort it out properly. This is related to your happiness.

I'd like to start by sharing psychologist Stenberg's definition of true love. He believes it has three components: passion, intimacy, and commitment. Passion is emotional infatuation, which is related to the secretion of certain hormones in the body. Intimacy is the warm experience that can be aroused in a romantic relationship. It's related to sharing and long-term cooperation, which we usually feel. Commitment is the guarantee and self-discipline to maintain the relationship.

If there's a conflict in an intimate relationship, this "promise" is crucial. It encourages people to try to resolve conflicts first.

This is something you and your boyfriend should keep in mind. In fact, many couples have communication issues that eventually lead to separation, even in old age.

I wish you the best. You've been aware, reflective, and learning while in a relationship and have been able to find professional resources to help you. All of this will guarantee a happy life. Good luck!

Good day, landlord. It is my hope that my response will prove beneficial to you.

Indeed, it is not uncommon for couples to engage in frequent arguments, particularly during the initial stages of a relationship. It is essential to gain an understanding of the four stages of a relationship and to learn to differentiate between positions and needs during conflicts. Additionally, it is crucial to develop effective strategies for managing emotional responses when they arise. By doing so, individuals can avoid being overwhelmed by arguments and can instead focus on fostering a harmonious and intimate relationship.

The following section will present an overview of the four stages of a relationship.

The development of an intimate relationship typically progresses through four distinct stages, each with its own distinctive characteristics and potential risks.

The initial period of passion is characterised by intense feelings of attachment and attraction.

The passion period represents the initial phase of intimacy and is the period during which it is most probable that the relationship will evolve into a marriage of convenience. During this period, individuals tend to perceive only positive qualities in their partner and are driven to temporarily present themselves as the ideal lover in their partner's eyes. Despite this, the initial feelings of happiness are merely the result of dopamine-induced euphoria and typically last for a maximum of one year. Consequently, the initial stages of intimacy are inherently transient and insufficient to sustain a long-lasting and fulfilling marriage. Following this, the relationship progresses into a period of adjustment.

The second stage is the period of adjustment.

2. The period of adjustment

The period of adjustment, that is, the conflict stage of the development of intimacy, is a period during which all emotional problems emerge. During this period, passion gradually diminishes, interpersonal issues become apparent, romantic ideals are confronted with reality, and the other person's behavior shifts from being liked to being disliked, thereby challenging the intimacy.

Additionally, during this period, each individual requires an increasing amount of independent time, and the level of dependence between the two parties may diminish.

The two partners have revealed their respective shortcomings. At this juncture, if they both desire change in the other person and the other person also hopes for change from them, it is easy to trigger conflicts and contradictions, which may even lead to a breakup.

The respective shortcomings of the two partners have been revealed. If they perceive irreconcilable conflicts, they may seek to change the other person, and the other person may similarly desire change. This can result in the triggering of conflicts and contradictions, which may ultimately lead to a breakup.

Consequently, the period of adjustment represents the most challenging stage in a relationship.

The introspective period is the third stage of relationship development.

3. Introspection period

Once a relationship has survived the initial trial period, it is likely to enter a phase of introspection. This phase marks the beginning of self-reflection, whereby the focus shifts from the other person's problems to an examination of one's own internal patterns and issues. This includes gaining insight into one's own internal patterns, understanding one's role and responsibility in intimate relationships, and contemplating the potential for personal growth and change. This period is crucial for both personal growth and the evolution of the relationship.

The fourth stage is the enlightenment period.

4. Enlightenment period

This stage is also referred to as the "enlightenment stage," during which the two partners begin to connect with each other on a spiritual level. At this stage, individuals learn to embrace each other with love and demonstrate willingness to fully accept their own childhood shadows and embrace their inner child. As a result, the intimate relationship progresses to a higher and deeper stage.

This stage is also referred to as the "enlightenment stage," during which the two partners begin to connect with each other on a spiritual level. At this juncture, they are finally able to embrace each other with love and the other partner is willing to fully accept their own childhood shadows and learn to embrace their inner child. As a result, the intimacy enters a higher and deeper stage, which is the state of deep intimacy that is the focus of this discussion.

It is important to note that not all relationships have the capacity to reach this level of understanding. It is a challenging process, but it is essential for partners to work towards this direction in order to move forward together.

An understanding of the stages of growth in an intimate relationship reveals that encountering problems and conflicts is an inevitable aspect of such a relationship. Therefore, the key is not to avoid conflicts but to gain a deeper understanding of each other through conflicts and to solve problems effectively. After both parties have the ability to solve problems, it is a wiser choice to enter into marriage because even though love and marriage will also encounter a period of adjustment, the situation in marriage will be much more complicated.

Indeed, when couples transition from the passionate phase of romantic love to the period of constant conflict, the most significant shift is that the differences that previously seemed inconsequential in the heat of the moment become highly salient. To illustrate, the example you provided pertains to the question of whether to brush one's teeth before eating gum.

Indeed, when couples transition from the passionate period of being in love to the period of constant arguments, the biggest change is that the differences that seemed inconsequential in the heat of passion become very obvious. For example, the following seemingly trivial matters often become the source of intense conflict: whether to brush one's teeth before eating chewing gum or whether one can eat chewing gum without brushing one's teeth, how to squeeze toothpaste correctly, whether the toilet seat should be put down after use, whether the hair in the bathroom is cleaned in time, who does the dishes and who cooks. These seemingly trivial matters can become the source of endless arguments, which can ultimately harm the relationship. In fact, many couples break up because of this.

The question thus arises as to how these conflicts can be resolved.

The question thus arises as to how these conflicts can be resolved.

I will now present a tool for distinguishing between positions and needs. This tool can assist in focusing on the common interests and needs of the two parties involved, rather than on the question of who is right and who is wrong.

I will now present a tool for distinguishing between positions and needs. This tool can assist in focusing on the common interests and needs of the two parties involved, rather than on the question of who is right and who is wrong.

In point of fact, our respective stances can be likened to the extremities of two icebergs that have risen above the surface of the water. While they may seem irreconcilable, in truth, our interests and needs are intricately intertwined and demand our attention.

In point of fact, our respective stances can be likened to the extremities of two icebergs that have risen above the surface of the water. While they may seem irreconcilable, in truth, our interests and needs are intricately intertwined and demand our attention.

It can be reasonably assumed that, regardless of how intractable the other party may appear to be, an understanding of their underlying needs may facilitate the emergence of a mutually acceptable solution.

To illustrate, the woman is angry because the man immediately checks his phone when he arrives home. It appears that the woman is displeased with the man checking his phone, yet her actual need is for the man to dedicate more time to her, to pay closer attention to her, and to respond to her in a more engaged manner.

If the man solely considers the other person's perspective at this juncture and emphasizes that he is checking his phone because he is occupied with work-related tasks, the two individuals may become engaged in a dispute regarding the relative merits of their respective positions.

If the man is able to discern the woman's needs at this juncture and respond in a direct manner, stating, "Madam, I have some pressing matters to attend to, but it will only require approximately half an hour. Once I have concluded, I will engage in discourse with you, if that is agreeable?" it is probable that the conflict will rapidly dissipate.

Naturally, if the woman can articulate her needs in a clear and assertive manner, for instance, "Dear, you've been looking at your phone since you got home, and I feel somewhat neglected. Could you please talk to me now? I require your undivided attention,"

Thus, when the needs of the other person are identified and met, many conflicts can be averted.

Furthermore, it is essential to learn how to cope with the narrowing effect when experiencing emotional distress.

The narrowing effect refers to the phenomenon whereby an individual's focus narrows significantly when they are emotionally aroused, particularly when experiencing fear or anger. This narrowing of focus leads to a narrowing of the individual's field of vision and perception, which in turn allows their immediate inner needs to take precedence over their long-term goals. This can manifest as a tendency to act on impulse and engage in behaviours that may be detrimental to their long-term wellbeing.

Neurophysiologists have discovered that when an individual is in a narrowing state, their body secretes specific chemicals that drive them to express their anger. In other words, individuals under the narrowing effect find it challenging to suppress all their impulses, resulting in a loss of control over their physical and emotional responses. Attempting to resist or reason with such individuals is likely to be ineffective.

Consequently, when an individual is experiencing a high level of anger, attempting to reason with them is unlikely to be effective. In the absence of emotional resolution, those who persist in attempting to reason with such individuals may appear even more irritating.

In light of the aforementioned considerations, what course of action would be most prudent at this juncture?

In order to achieve this, it is necessary to undertake two distinct actions.

1. Maintaining awareness is the most effective method for regulating emotions. It is essential to be conscious of one's emotional state in order to avoid impulsive actions that may result in regret. How, then, can one maintain self-awareness?

One of the simplest methods for relaxation is to focus on one's breathing. When emotions begin to intensify and a narrow state of mind is experienced, the breathing rate typically increases. At this juncture, it is beneficial to take a few minutes to calm the breathing and identify the areas of the body that are tense. This approach is one of the most direct and effective ways to achieve relaxation.

2. It is advisable to be self-aware and to ascertain whether the effect is beneficial or detrimental. If there is no opportunity to make urgent adjustments, it is recommended to inform the other person directly that one is experiencing emotional distress and may require a brief period of time to regain composure.

"Alternatively, one might indicate a need to use the restroom or locate a suitable place to calm down, thereby informing the other person of one's need and allowing them to offer assistance if they so desire.

In such instances, it is advisable to adopt a state of heightened self-awareness and to identify the specific emotional state one is currently experiencing. This can be achieved by paying attention to one's breathing, as rapid breathing is a common indicator of emotional distress. Once the emotional state has been identified, it is possible to take action to regulate one's emotions. This may entail directly communicating to the other person that one is experiencing a heightened emotional state and that some time is needed to calm down. This approach can also be used in instances where the other person is experiencing a narrow state.

This can be applied to a situation with an individual who is experiencing a narrow state.

1. It is essential to actively listen in order to comprehend the genuine requirements of the other person.

If one can discern the emotional state of the other party and respond to it in a timely manner, before or during a conflict, the majority of the problem has already been resolved. During this process, it is crucial to learn to actively listen. How, then, do we listen?

When listening, it is important to observe the other person's body language and expressions, to empathize with their emotions, and to comprehend their emotional state at that moment. If one can delve deeper and grasp the underlying reasons for the other person's emotional state and identify their inner needs, one can then utilize the previously mentioned method of distinguishing between positions and needs to address the situation effectively.

2. It is essential to control the rhythm of the interaction, initially appealing to the emotional state of the other person, and subsequently addressing the logical aspects of the situation.

It is only through the initial management of the other person's emotions that the potential for rational discourse can be realised. Given that individuals perceive time to slow down when they are in the narrowing effect, it is imperative not to rush when addressing emotional issues. Instead, sufficient time and patience should be allocated to listening, or alternatively, emotions can be gradually released through the use of effective questioning.

Once the emotional state has stabilized, the resolution of the problem will be expedited.

When we are able to think in a lateral manner, cease to be constrained by our own preconceptions, and refrain from debating the merits of right and wrong, we are able to perceive the underlying needs of the other person. Should you be genuinely willing to satisfy the other person's needs with profound affection and they, in turn, be willing to acknowledge your needs and meet them, then you have attained a comprehension of the true meaning of happiness and your intimate relationship will continue to flourish.

I extend my best wishes to you.

Good day, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing in response to your recent query. Kind regards, [Name]

It appears that a minor disagreement with your boyfriend has prompted you to question whether you are compatible as a couple.

I am unaware of the duration of your acquaintance with your boyfriend.

Please clarify when the last time you engaged in a disagreement was.

It is understandable that

Your boyfriend will likely perceive his bad habits as inconsequential.

It is not a significant issue; it is simply a matter of personal responsibility.

Furthermore, assisting him in recognizing his shortcomings

Correcting him in a timely manner is beneficial for his personal growth and development.

Have you ever considered this possibility?

Are you issuing reminders regarding his shortcomings because you believe he requires such reminders, or because you require them yourself?

It is possible that your well-intentioned reminders have triggered a negative transference in him.

He may perceive these expressions of affection as nagging and accusations from his mother, reminiscent of his early years.

It is possible that he is rebelling against the demanding way you treat him.

Please explain why you feel the need to employ sophistry in order to justify your position on every issue.

Does the other person require a sophistical argument?

In addition, you should consider the following:

Please explain why you are so eager to highlight his shortcomings.

Have you ever considered the following?

It is human nature to seek benefits and avoid harm.

It is therefore important to avoid criticizing or picking on individuals in the workplace.

Despite our best intentions,

If you wish to enhance your relationship and assist him in making positive changes,

It would be advisable to discuss and communicate with him in a positive and appreciative manner.

For example, addressed to "Dear xx" (the name often used to refer to the boyfriend in question):

I would like to make a suggestion.

You appear more presentable when you chew gum, particularly if you do so after brushing your teeth.

You will look even better.

Please note the following:

Please confirm whether you still love him.

If there is no longer a romantic attachment and no compelling reason to terminate the relationship,

The subconscious mind will invariably instigate a minor incident to engender some conflict.

This is to confirm that I am Consultant Yao, and I will continue to support you.

Dear Question Asker, My name is Enoch, and I am the designated answerer. Based on the information provided in your question, it appears that you are experiencing difficulties in your romantic relationship due to communication issues. Additionally, you have raised concerns about your partner's emotional state, leading you to question whether they are truly satisfied with your critiques. Furthermore, you have expressed feelings of inadequacy and identified numerous perceived shortcomings in your partner, leading you to question the compatibility of the two of you.

Let us examine the underlying cause of this situation.

1. Ineffective communication due to personality differences

The questioner's inclination to criticize her boyfriend for his faults and to influence his behavior aligns with the characteristics of an A-type personality. Individuals with this personality trait tend to exert control over others in a relationship and push them in a desired direction. They also anticipate that the other person will make changes to align with their expectations. When these expectations are not met, they may perceive a loss of authority and be inclined to end the relationship.

The boyfriend's personality may be rather paranoid, not very receptive to other people's advice, and lacking flexibility in interpersonal relationships. As a result, there is a strong conflict and confrontation with the girlfriend's personality. Moreover, people with a paranoid personality often find it difficult to accept other people's opinions and make changes. Therefore, it is recommended that the girlfriend carefully examine the impact that the differences in their personalities may have on their future relationship.

2. There is a discrepancy between the way love is expressed and the way the other person prefers it.

The questioner employs criticism as a means of influencing her boyfriend's behavior. She believes this is for his own benefit. For instance, she asserts that not brushing one's teeth in the morning and chewing gum will result in bacteria entering the stomach. However, her boyfriend experiences a negative emotional response when he is criticized. He may have limited psychological resilience and would rather risk introducing bacteria into his stomach than endure the negative emotions associated with being criticized. He is unable to perceive the questioner's goodwill and concern for his well-being in their communication. Instead, he experiences the negative emotions associated with being criticized.

After raising a criticism, the questioner anticipates obedience and improvement from the boyfriend. However, the other party often employs sophistry to demonstrate that their initial approach was justified and would not yield any results. This leads to frustration on the part of the questioner, who feels misunderstood and rejected, and also results in a lack of trust from the other party. This creates a sense of sadness and disappointment.

3. The lack of mutual understanding between the two parties has intensified the conflict.

Both parties have been interacting with people around them in this way for a long time, especially in their original families, so they are accustomed to interacting with people in this way. It is important to recognise that everyone's ideas and lifestyles are different. This is exemplified by the fact that in the eyes of a thousand people, there are a thousand Hamlets. For many things, opinions differ from person to person. Romantic and marital relationships are a type of relationship that facilitates personal growth.

It is often necessary to set aside one's ego and strive for mutual understanding in order to ensure the longevity of a relationship.

4. It is possible that the other person does not fully meet the criteria for an ideal boyfriend, which may explain the questioner's desire for certain changes.

Another situation is that when there is a strong emotional connection between two individuals, they tend to view each other in a highly positive light. This is due to the halo effect, which causes both parties to perceive their partner as flawless in many ways. However, as time passes and the initial excitement fades, it becomes evident that the other person also has shortcomings. It is important to remember that nobody is perfect. During this phase, both parties may still hope to mould their partner into their ideal version of themselves, leading to demands, criticisms and accusations. If both parties are able to demonstrate tolerance, compromise and understanding, the relationship may last longer. However, if both parties remain inflexible in their expectations, it can lead to difficulties in the relationship.

It is my hope that the following suggestions will prove beneficial to the questioner.

1. It would be beneficial to temporarily set aside your emotional response and conduct an objective and rational assessment of your partner.

The questioner should take time to calm down and carefully observe the patterns and content of their daily interactions with their boyfriend. They should then analyze their boyfriend's personality, strengths, and weaknesses. They should also identify which aspects they like and are attracted to; which aspects they don't like and whether they can accept them; and which aspects are related to each other and can be communicated to reach a consensus. Finally, they should consider whether they are a good match and what changes they need to make if they continue to date.

2. The questioner has demonstrated an ability to accept and grow in this relationship.

In this relationship, the questioner can also learn that some people's personalities and ways of dealing with things are different from those of their own family of origin. It is important to accept all kinds of people in order to be more tolerant of the people and things around you. While we are trying to change others, we are also trying to change ourselves, so that we can better accept others. The answerer also has some components of an A-type personality, but after studying psychology and gaining an objective understanding of their own personality, they have now made many changes and can get along better with their environment. It is my hope that the questioner can grow better in this relationship and be able to guide others in a better way in future interactions, so that they are willing to make changes within their abilities, because not everyone can make the changes they want.

Hello!

I understand your confusion. You say you don't like how your boyfriend talks. He makes excuses, so you can't communicate well.

Let's help you organize your thoughts.

1. Thanks for the question! It's about communication and finding a way to speak that the other person will accept.

2. You are straightforward and perfectionistic. You prefer to do things your own way, and your boyfriend is individualistic. So you have conflicts. You can't stand some of his behavior, and he is even less willing to do everything you say. You are assertive, and he is more laid-back. Is it possible you don't like him as a person? Only you can know for sure.

3. You were attracted to each other, so ask yourself: did you always find him annoying, or did you just realize it now? If you always found him annoying, then you've been in a state of constant agitation.

If you want to stay together, you have to find a solution.

4. Talk to him calmly. Tell him your thoughts. Tell him what you don't like. The goal is to reduce the friction between you.

5. Your boyfriend is very individualistic and probably has a very strong sense of self-esteem. You should be careful about the way you communicate with him. For example, you mentioned that he chews gum without brushing his teeth. You could have said it in a nicer way. Men still like to save face, and they don't like being criticized. You could have told him in a nicer way to pay more attention to personal health and hygiene. It's more refreshing to chew gum after brushing your teeth. You could also praise him more and give him more rewards. Maybe by changing your approach, the result will be completely different.

6. Your boyfriend reflects your own heart. He is like a blank piece of paper, and you make him what he is. Is he stubborn and doesn't listen to advice because you were stubborn and didn't listen to advice at one time? Sometimes, it really is how you treat others that how others treat you. Reflect on yourself and see if you have been like this before. If so, just change.

7. It's always better for two people to communicate well than to fight. You used to be close, so you should be able to communicate well with him. There's no problem that can't be solved.

I love you, world.

From your example, it seems that many couples face similar challenges in their relationships. It's not easy for two people to come together and form a bond. As you get to know each other, you'll likely notice both the attractive and less appealing sides of your partner. While it's natural to admire your partner's positive qualities, it's also important to accept their imperfections. After all, relationships require mutual understanding and tolerance. Nobody is perfect. However, if there's something you feel strongly about, like not brushing your teeth before eating, you can try to see it from your partner's perspective. Is your partner's advice more like preaching? It's likely that you don't want to be preached at, even if it's your fault. It can lead to frustration and arguments. It's like being rebellious. Have you considered trying a different approach? Language can be a powerful tool. You could say something like, "Chewing gum after brushing your teeth might make it even sweeter!"

Perhaps you could ask him why he chews gum before brushing his teeth and not after?

My boyfriend and I often have differing opinions on minor issues, which sometimes leads to doubts about our compatibility. I've learned that discussing these differences in a calm and constructive manner can help resolve them. It's important to communicate openly and honestly, without holding back, to find solutions that work for both of us.

I hope that you will find happiness, and I also hope that I will find happiness. ?