light mode dark mode

My girlfriend was admitted to the hospital due to bipolar disorder, and I'm caught in a dilemma, leaving feels like betrayal?

bipolar_disorder hyperthyroidism relationship mental_illness emotional_consequences
readership7287 favorite24 forward36
My girlfriend was admitted to the hospital due to bipolar disorder, and I'm caught in a dilemma, leaving feels like betrayal? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

I am 24 (already have a full-time job) and my girlfriend is 21 (currently in the hospital due to bipolar disorder and hyperthyroidism). Since September 2022 when she was admitted, my heart has begun to waver. I have also been honest with her family, and they are willing to accept this outcome. They have informed me that regardless of the future, their home will always welcome me. However, I can't help but delve deeper into my thoughts. After nearly six years of love, this is the situation... I am increasingly feeling disgusted with the pain of this mental illness and the sorrow of separation.

My girlfriend developed bipolar disorder in her childhood due to bullying in school, which she mentioned during our relationship. Initially, I was willing to understand, and there were instances of her condition flaring up. Finally, due to extreme actions (lying on the street), she was hospitalized. I also visited her during this time, but her recovery was not satisfactory.

I have also become exhausted, and her mother has said that it is as if we have ended our relationship now, as she currently needs the doctor's treatment more than me. She also told me not to blame myself, as I have done my best. In a way, I feel both relieved and painful. Although there might be a possibility of reconciliation, choosing another feels like a betrayal... What should I do?

Nadia Nadia A total of 4109 people have been helped

Greetings, Landlord:

The situation is fraught with complex emotions and confusion. The following suggestions are offered in the hope that they will prove helpful.

It is imperative to respect the decision of your girlfriend and her family. They have made it clear that they require professional medical treatment, not your company. It is of the utmost importance to respect their decision.

They have already informed you that they will welcome you regardless of the future course of events. This indicates that while the nature of your relationship may evolve, your feelings for each other are likely to persist.

It is important to note that her family will never forget the care, love, companionship, and devotion you have shown to her.

It is advisable to seek support in such circumstances, as feelings of exhaustion and confusion are common. Support from family, friends, or a professional counselor may be beneficial.

Discourse can facilitate a more nuanced comprehension of one's emotional state and provide counsel and assistance.

It is imperative to prioritize self-care during this process. It is essential to ensure that you have sufficient time and space to address your emotional needs and requirements.

It is imperative that the host prioritize his own mental health, despite his overwhelming focus on his girlfriend.

If he is overburdened with work, he will lack the capacity to provide care for his girlfriend and her family, which will also constitute a source of stress.

It is essential to provide each other with sufficient time and space. It is crucial to allow your girlfriend the necessary time and space for her treatment and recovery. Rebuilding a relationship requires time, and it may be necessary to re-evaluate the dynamics and communication between you.

If the original poster and the girlfriend are truly in love, then the former should spend more time with the latter. It is likely that the girlfriend will change for the better as a result. However, if the original poster's presence does not result in any change, it may even delay the girlfriend's treatment. Alternatively, her true love may be someone else.

.

It is therefore recommended that the decision to end the relationship be made at an earlier juncture.

It is important to understand that this decision is for the benefit of your girlfriend's recovery and health, as well as to respect each other's wishes. You may wish to discuss future possibilities with your girlfriend, family, and professionals in order to identify the optimal solution.

Regardless of the decision made, the love and support between the two individuals is of paramount importance. Irrespective of the outcome, the other party has already made significant contributions to the relationship.

A person who has truly betrayed someone will not experience feelings of guilt or remorse, nor will they be capable of providing care and affection to another individual with such dedication. The original poster should also consider the girlfriend's perspective, as she may not wish to cause her partner distress.

Your continued presence may prove to be a source of irritation.

.

It is only through a deeper understanding of her that one can truly assist her, and it is only when one takes care of oneself that one can muster the strength to safeguard her. For the time being, it would be prudent to defer to the expertise of the medical professional. It is likely that the optimal moment for you to be reunited with her will coincide with her genuine need for your support or the designated time for your appearance.

Helpful to meHelpful to me 412
disapprovedisapprove0
Olive Olive A total of 6912 people have been helped

A hug for you first!

Dealing with a long-term mental health problem in a partner, especially a complex condition like bipolar disorder, can put a lot of pressure on a relationship. The situation you are facing is very complex.

It's hard to make a decision in this situation. Here are some tips:

1. It's normal to feel tired, frustrated, and confused. Your feelings don't make you a bad partner or friend.

2. Get help from a counselor. A professional can help you understand your feelings and deal with your relationship and personal emotions.

3. Talk to someone you trust. Share your feelings with family, friends, or a support group.

4. Learn about bipolar disorder. This can help you understand your girlfriend better and view your relationship more sympathetically.

5. Think about what you can do and what you can't. Caring for others should not make you unwell.

6. Talk to your girlfriend and her family about the future. Can you support her while also taking care of yourself?

7. Give yourself time: Before making any decisions, give yourself time to think. You may need time to decide on the best course of action.

8. Take care of yourself while caring for others. This is not selfish, but necessary to keep providing support.

There are no easy answers. The most important thing is to find a balance that allows you to take care of your girlfriend while also protecting your own emotional health.

Helpful to meHelpful to me 666
disapprovedisapprove0
Theresa Maria Ruiz-Lopez Theresa Maria Ruiz-Lopez A total of 7756 people have been helped

It is understandable that you may feel conflicted and confused in this situation. Maintaining a relationship with a partner who is suffering from a mental illness can be a significant challenge, particularly if the illness is serious and requires long-term treatment.

This is not only a test of emotional resilience, but also of one's ability to plan for the future and navigate life's challenges.

1. Accept your feelings.

It is crucial to acknowledge and accept your feelings. Feeling tired and seeking respite does not make you a heartless individual.

It is not uncommon to feel exhausted and want to escape from stress over the long term. Recognizing your own limits is not a betrayal, but rather a sign of responsibility towards yourself and your partner.

2. Communication and Support

Should you decide to terminate the relationship, you may do so in a supportive manner. It is recommended that you maintain open communication with your girlfriend and her family to express your concern and desire for her recovery.

Furthermore, it is important to clarify that your decision is based on the long-term happiness of both parties.

3. Personal growth and future planning

It is also important to plan for your future at this time. Consider your long-term goals, career aspirations, and the lifestyle you desire.

This will assist you in taking a step back from your current emotions and in establishing a foundation for the future.

It is recommended that you seek personal advice.

It may be beneficial to consider seeking counseling. This could assist with managing the relationship with your girlfriend, as well as addressing any internal conflicts and uncertainty about the future.

Professional counseling can provide clients with new perspectives and coping strategies.

It is important to allow yourself to experience the full range of emotions that accompany the end of a six-year relationship, even if it is ultimately the right decision.

Allow yourself the time and space to work through the process. Grief is a normal and necessary part of the process.

It is advisable to build a support network, which could include friends, family, or mental health professionals.

It is important to note that your decision to end the relationship does not indicate a lack of commitment to your partner. Rather, it reflects a well-considered decision based on your recognition of your own limitations and needs. Such a choice is never easy, but it may be necessary for the long-term well-being of both parties.

Helpful to meHelpful to me 853
disapprovedisapprove0
Aurora Woods Aurora Woods A total of 585 people have been helped

Hello, I'm grateful you've taken the time to ask your question. I hope my suggestions will be helpful to you.

In this situation, it would be helpful to consider the matter from three different angles.

Perhaps the first step would be to start with ourselves.

It would be beneficial to be able to sense our own emotional state in time, ensure our own physical and mental health, and seek timely help from a psychologist if necessary.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to consider perfecting and establishing our views on marriage and love.

In this regard, it would be beneficial to focus on our views on love, what love looks like in our minds, and our views on love and our partners.

We simply ask that you consider this without attaching any conditions. That is, we will not consider issues such as birth, aging, sickness, death, poverty, or wealth for the time being, but only consider whether there is affection and how each other feels.

It would be helpful to distinguish between the different natures and thinking directions of the dating and marriage stages.

Naturally, we will not be engaging in a debate about the morality of falling in love without the intention of getting married. Rather, our focus is on incremental thinking.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to combine this with a realistic approach.

In the case of the girlfriend, it would be beneficial for her to seek the guidance of a professional doctor. In addition to medical care, it is important to provide her with the support and love of her family members and, eventually, her partner. In the case of an unmarried couple, the partner's support and love become increasingly important as the second priority after the doctor's care.

It is also possible that the subsequent help may not be able to help her recover her health and solve the problem, even if the first help was not obtained.

In principle, this is not a rigid moral standard. However, if someone forces you to use bad language to describe the handling of this relationship, saying that if you leave, it means you have bad character, then this could be perceived as a form of moral kidnapping.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the results of the first question together with the results of the second question.

For now, it would be helpful to consider our life plan, our emotional plan, and our feelings about her, including how our feelings have been affected.

It would be helpful to make a judgment based on our work, our development area, and our personal time. We could consider allocating it to continue the relationship, accompany our girlfriend as much as we can, or help.

In this part, we should avoid labeling it as selfish, as it is not necessarily so. Even if the girlfriend is healthy, it is still important to consider life planning at different stages of life. This includes thinking about whether the two people's plans for the future might conflict and how to resolve any such conflicts. It may also be helpful to consider whether it would be beneficial for the two people to pursue their own paths.

It would be beneficial to consider this stage in its own right. To find an answer that is appropriate for this new stage, it may be helpful to think in terms of differentiation and integration.

And finally, we would like to suggest an aftercare process based on the results of the two situations above.

Even if the relationship comes to an end, it does not necessarily mean that the two people involved no longer love each other. It is therefore important to handle the situation in a peaceful and gentle way.

At the same time, we can also feel that the other person's family is actually very kind to us. They will try to understand our situation before putting forward such ideas.

In such cases, it would be beneficial to reciprocate such kindness, or to consider the other person and help them within our abilities.

For instance, we could gently remind them to also prioritize their physical and mental health. We can empathize with the immense challenges of caring for the sick. Additionally, when their loved ones, including their children, endure such pain, it's understandable that the parents' inner pain would also be significant.

As a boyfriend or ex-boyfriend, you can also extend some comfort and reasonable advice to help them. While these methods may not always be financial or involve time and energy, you will find that in this situation, kindness is also important.

This part combines self-assessment with the actual situation to determine the best way to offer help or maintain contact.

If, after reflection, we still desire to maintain a romantic relationship with our girlfriend, it would be prudent to address the interpersonal issues at hand. For instance, it would be wise to consider whether our parents would be concerned if we remained in a relationship with a girl in this situation and whether they would feel anxious. Additionally, it would be helpful to assess whether the girl's parents would be under significant pressure and whether they might feel apologetic towards us. In such a case, it would be beneficial to extend appropriate comfort and understanding.

I hope that through self-reflection, you can gain a deeper understanding of the situation and find a way to navigate it that aligns with your values. The decision to maintain or end a romantic relationship is a personal one and should be made with consideration of one's own beliefs.

I hope the world and I can show you our love!

Helpful to meHelpful to me 341
disapprovedisapprove0
Quentin Robert King Quentin Robert King A total of 7230 people have been helped

Hello, question asker!

From your description, I can sense your intention to take responsibility for this relationship. You are unwilling to betray the six years of relationship you have had, and you would feel guilty if you left. I can feel the conflict in your heart, and I know you will find a way to resolve it.

This relationship has been affected by the fact that your partner has been hospitalized due to a mental illness or by some out-of-character actions when they are with you. You must ask yourself if you have the psychological capacity to deal with such behavior and whether such actions will erode the relationship between you.

This relationship has lasted six years and has remained sincere and honest since they were teenagers. Her family's attitude in the letter also shows their approval of you. However, there are still difficulties to be faced. If you choose to stay together, you will need courage to face these difficulties, as well as the understanding and support of your family. This may be a long-term thing that will make people collapse.

When the other person becomes a burden to you, it becomes a psychological burden on your family. It is very hurtful to her and to you.

You didn't betray her. You stayed with her when she was sick in the hospital. You didn't leave. Betrayal is a condemnation of your moral conscience. It's a feeling that you shouldn't have left her when she had a mental illness.

However, whether or not you can stay together in this relationship depends on more than just your own thoughts and feelings. For her right now, what she needs most is psychological and hospital treatment. You can encourage her to seek treatment. As for whether you can get back together, it depends on whether the feelings between you are still as strong as they were in the beginning.

I hope this is helpful. Best wishes!

Helpful to meHelpful to me 698
disapprovedisapprove0
Justinian Justinian A total of 6954 people have been helped

Let's take a moment to understand emptiness analysis:

First of all, I get it. You've already done a lot to help your girlfriend with her mental health issues, but at the same time, you're feeling tired and unsure about what's ahead.

In this situation, you need to think carefully and make a decision that's in the best interests of you and your girlfriend.

First of all, your girlfriend's health problems need to be handled by a professional doctor and treatment team. Her family and doctor have already made the necessary arrangements and plans, and you can support and encourage her when the time is right, but you shouldn't take on too much responsibility.

Next, you need to think about your own feelings and needs. If you're feeling tired and fed up with the current situation, it's time to think about yourself.

Breaking up with your girlfriend isn't a betrayal, but it is important to consider and respect each other's future happiness.

Finally, this is a time for careful consideration and calm reflection. It's a good idea to find a trusted friend or counselor you can talk to about your internal conflicts and confusion. They can also help you make the right decision.

No matter what you decide, it's important to stay strong and positive, and to care for your girlfriend and yourself. I wish you both the best of luck in finding the best solution.

Helpful to meHelpful to me 516
disapprovedisapprove0

Comments

avatar
Hermes Davis A well - learned person is like a walking encyclopedia, filled with facts and concepts from diverse fields.

I can relate to how conflicted you must feel, torn between loyalty and your own wellbeing. It's hard to see someone you love suffer and not know how to help anymore.

avatar
Ryder Anderson Life is a journey up the mountain, with each step a lesson.

It sounds like you've been through a lot together. Maybe it's time to consider what's best for both of you now. Sometimes letting go isn't about giving up but recognizing when professional help is needed most.

avatar
Cecelia Fern Life is a dance of the elements, harmonize them.

You've given so much of yourself to support her over the years. It's okay to acknowledge that you're feeling drained and need some space to heal too. This doesn't mean you're abandoning her.

avatar
Hallie Jackson Life is a flame of hope that never goes out.

Facing this situation must be incredibly challenging. Perhaps focusing on selfcare could provide you with the strength to make clearer decisions about your future. It's important to listen to your feelings as well.

avatar
Vincent Miller Learning is a way to discover our potential.

Her mother seems understanding and supportive of you. That's a positive sign. It might help to talk more with her about how you're feeling and get advice on how to proceed in a compassionate way.

More from Soul Share Cove

This feature is under maintenance and update.
Close