My husband has returned from cheating on me, and I have less expectations of him than before. What should I do?

I'm Jia Jia. Take care of the busy you.

First, the more hope you have, the more likely you are to be disappointed. If you don't care about hope, you don't care about disappointment either. You're in a rough spot right now.

You've decided not to divorce, so you need to get your mind right. You've been together a long time and know each other well. You have a psychological burden, so you need to take care of your mind and not let it overwhelm you.

Second, there must be principles and boundaries in your relationship. You handled your husband's problems well, and he has improved.

People will take advantage of your tolerance. Even in close relationships, you need to agree on principles and reach a contract. Otherwise, you will hurt each other.

Third, while improving your relationship, you can also make new friends. This will make you feel better. Good luck.

Public Zonghao: I'm looking forward to staying in touch.

Yi Xinli Answering Questions Hall Mutual Aid Community World I Love You

You've been holding on for a long time, and you're still going strong! People change, and relationships change. It's normal. Don't put too much psychological burden on yourself — you've got this!

First of all, you noticed the problem right away and reflected on your own issues, which shows you're a self-reflective person! I'm curious to know what issues you identified that led to this outcome. You've made so many changes, it's impressive!

I once read a fascinating psychological study that analyzed several hundred couples. In the families where the husband cheated, the wives were all virtuous housewives with impeccable reputations. This is because, in psychology, there is a concept of socialized personality. We all play roles, such as the man being successful at work and the woman being a virtuous housewife, in order to cater to society.

However, because of the roles they play, many people avoid expressing their true emotional needs to themselves and to the other person.

So, what are your husband's real emotional needs at this stage? It's time to understand, analyze, and judge. You can seek help from a psychological counselor, or you can think about it yourself. After all, no one knows him better than you!

This is great news! It shows that he is willing to make amends. Now, we just need to figure out why he is unwilling to divorce. I'm sure it's partly due to emotional needs, which you can easily analyze.

And now for the fun part: communication!

Once you reach this stage, it's time to embrace open communication! If you want to save your marriage, it's essential to understand each other's thoughts, needs, and attitudes. Marriage is all about commitment, trust, understanding, and communication. Open and honest communication will take your future intimate relationship to the next level!

If grief is greater than death, then what remains is cold violence, no communication, and the intimate relationship is dead in name only. But if you keep the faith, there's still hope!

Ultimately, intimate relationships go through different stages. If you embrace this journey with an open heart, you'll find that fate has amazing things in store for you!

Hello, question asker!

First of all, I want to say that I really admire you for being so brave and responsible, and for shouldering the ups and downs of running a household. You're amazing!

Your husband loves to have fun and has had an affair. This time, forgive him! You can talk to him about a few principles:

1: He continues to have an affair. What do you want to do? You have the power to choose! You can either continue to forgive him or just let him be.

You're going to talk to him again tomorrow!

2: Financially, the questioner needs to set boundaries. After all, you have children. No one is perfect, but you can definitely set a bottom line. Tell him your bottom line and go from there!

I've got a few suggestions for the original poster!

The original poster should take better care of themselves and choose their own hobbies. Spend more time on your children and encourage your husband more! Get him involved in household chores, and you can slowly divide the work. For example, he can take the children to and from school and take responsibility for it.

It's time to start communicating more with your husband and exchanging ideas sincerely!

Do you feel like you've truly let go? Or is it just because of the kids that you've become more rational? As a woman, I understand you very well. I suggest that you love yourself first. There's a saying that you have to learn to love yourself before you can love others, and I think you're going to love yourself even more after you do!

Love and marriage are all about teamwork! You need to work together as a couple to make it work. The question asker's blind tolerance will also sacrifice themselves.

The good news is that the questioner can seek psychological counseling, where a professional counselor can analyze the situation and help you better understand yourself, which will also contribute to marital happiness.

I love you, world! And I love you, too!

Hello! Thank you so much for trusting me and inviting me to answer your question. Before we get into it, if you allow, I would love to give you a big hug to show you some warmth and support!

From your description, I can see the incredible hard work and effort you have put into this family, both as a wife and a mother. It is so admirable that you have chosen to continue living on the premise that your husband "promised a hundred times that he would change."

This also shows me your incredible kindness and deep affection for this family.

It's great that you've found out that you owe a huge debt again! He said he borrowed it before, and I paid it back. I thought since we weren't getting divorced, we had to get rid of it.

But after paying back the money, he changed again. It's so great to see how much he's improved!

You just don't understand what kind of mentality he has and why he behaves in this way — but you will!

I bet you still have a lot of emotions and expectations for your husband. You hope that he can change after your repeated forbearance and tolerance, and that he can work together with you to manage the family and career well.

I don't know if you have discussed this issue in depth, but I'm sure you will soon! As the saying goes, "he who unlinks the bell must also link it again," this matter still requires the two of you to have a serious and in-depth discussion together. Perhaps, if you like, you can also seek the help of a psychologist to help you two analyze together and find an appropriate solution to the problem.

I just wanted to share my thoughts with you, but please feel free to disagree! Take care of yourself.

Dear questioner, Hello! I can see from your message that your husband has been acting better after the infidelity, which is great! However, it seems that he is still burdened with external debts. Once you have paid off his debts, he is not as excessive as before, but he still does not take the initiative to share the responsibilities and things of the family. This makes you feel frustrated, but I can see that you really hope that he will change. After so many things, your expectations are not as high as they once were, but you don't know what you should do now.

First of all, I suggest that you and your husband communicate well about how he plans for the family, children's education, and the family business. Of course, you should also discuss how you want to move forward with your marriage. After all, you have been married for so many years, and even if there is no longer the love that you once had, there is still some kind of affection. And since you are both the children's parents, you both want to give them a complete home—and you can!

However, if the couple's relationship is not harmonious, it will also affect the physical and mental growth of the child. But don't worry! For the sake of the child and the family, both parties just need to work together.

It's a two-way street! So, it's important to understand your husband's thoughts, feelings, and plans for the future.

Next, it's time to get your finances in order! As a couple, you own your property together, and if you divorce, you'll need to divide it. Given your husband's infidelity, I suggest you start by gathering evidence and protecting your property.

If your husband refuses to repent, then I have a great suggestion for you! You can transfer some property, or even real estate, and start anew!

Another great option is to transfer the family property to the name of your children. This will help reduce the joint property of the couple.

Third, it's time to start thinking about your future life! You've got this! The reason you don't know what to do is that you are currently at a loss and have no concrete plans for the future. But that's about to change!

Because of your husband's problems, you are also very confused, painful, and sad. But don't worry! You can calm down and think about what path you want to take in the future. Since you no longer plan to divorce, you also need to consider the future expenses and education of your children.

And now you're taking care of your family's business, too! How are you going to secure this property? Since your husband has had a foreign debt once, you get to be on the lookout for his next foreign debt.

If the couple divorces, it's a great idea to start making preparations for the eventuality of debt!

Although life goes on, you have the exciting opportunity to continue living with him. But first, you have to ask yourself whether you really forgive him from the bottom of your heart. Even a small rift can be a challenge for both parties over time, but you can overcome it!

Don't try to bear it. This kind of endurance is like a seed in the heart, and over time it will always sprout! If you really can't do it, then it's better to suffer a short pain than a long one. As long as both spouses can ensure that their love for their children remains unchanged, a timely separation will not affect the children.

The great news is that children understand and are understanding. So, it is definitely better to separate than to suffer together!

I really hope you can think about these issues carefully and then make your own decision!

I really hope this helps! I love you and I love the world!

Hello!

I am a heart exploration coach, and learning is the treasure of the body!

From your description, I can feel your inner doubts, confusion, worries, troubles, and a sense of being overwhelmed—and I'm here to help!

You said that you and your husband have been married for ten years. In the first few years, you made some money from your business, and your husband was more interested in having fun. At first, you didn't think much about it, but last year, you found out that he was cheating on you and you wanted a divorce. He promised over and over again that he would change, and for the next six months, he did change. He became less temperamental, which was great! But then you found out that he owed a lot of debt. You helped him pay it off, and now you find that he is not as motivated as he used to be. Although he is much better than before, you are very confused as to why he is like this. You also want to know what you should do. Although you are not as stubborn as before, you have lower expectations of him, and you are still very conflicted.

I'm excited to help you resolve your inner confusion!

First of all, the change in your husband's behavior may be related to the way you treat him, which is great because it means you're both working on your relationship!

In other words, at the beginning, he was diligent, able to control his temper, and a bit "compliant." He probably was afraid that you would divorce him, so he had to behave well. Of course, he also wanted to show you that he was sincere about changing—and he did a great job!

Later, after you helped him pay off his debts, he probably saw that you had truly forgiven him and were still living with him sincerely. This was a huge step forward! You relaxed your demands on yourself, so when you asked him to do something, he moved.

In other words, the internal reason for his change—or rather, the root cause—is that he feels safer with you! He is no longer so worried that you will leave.

This is a great example of human nature in action! We all seek out benefits and avoid harm.

Second, I have three fantastic suggestions for you on how to deal with your inner confusion.

First, I suggest you embrace your current situation!

You said that you have lower expectations of him than before, which is actually normal, because after betrayal, most people may no longer trust each other. But you can trust yourself to know what you want!

You chose not to divorce at the beginning because of your husband's many assurances, but the affair has already happened and the damage it has done to you is still there. It's only natural that you won't trust him or expect much from him as you did before. Moreover, you may be worried that if you expect too much from him, you will be hurt again. So you simply don't have high expectations, and if you don't have high expectations, you won't be hurt as much. This is also a way of protecting yourself.

Second, I suggest you ask yourself if you are still willing to trust him again and fall in love with him all over again!

If you're ready, you can start rebuilding your relationship with him! To do so, you'll need to understand that rebuilding a relationship requires four simple principles: first, the cheating party sees the harm done to the partner; second, the cheating party takes the initiative to assume responsibility for repairing the relationship; third, the cheated party sets a limit on their response, no longer using the affair to pressure others, and not using it as a moral advantage in other aspects of life; and fourth, stop the pursuit-and-escape pattern.

From your description, your husband is doing quite well as the cheating party! He's much better than before, and he's willing to rebuild the relationship with you. The next step is your willingness. Ask yourself what you really think, and I know you'll find the answer!

Third, I suggest you give yourself some time, and in the meantime, ask yourself more often whether you want to rebuild your relationship with him. You might even find that you can accept the consequences if you separate (issues with public opinion, children, finances, etc.). After weighing up the pros and cons, you may have a clearer idea of what you want, which will also help you make a choice.

At the same time, during this period of time, you can also judge whether your husband is really willing to change. This is an exciting time! You can also have a good chat with him, including the changes you have seen in him before and after. And listening to his true feelings will also help you make a choice.

Of course, if after some time you still can't trust him as you used to, that's okay! There's no need to rush. And if you don't want to separate, that's great! Just keep things as they are for now. Give it some time. You never know what the future holds!

I really hope my answer helps! If you want to chat some more, just click on "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation" at the bottom and I'll be in touch!

Hi, I'm Strawberry.

You've worked hard in this marriage. You've been married to your husband for ten years. The family finances have improved. However, your husband has changed because of the improved finances. He often argues with you and doesn't go home. When he does argue, he just slams the door and goes away.

The questioner focuses on business, family, and children. She doesn't have the energy to manage her marriage. She'll reflect on the relationship and realize she made mistakes.

The questioner is a tolerant wife. She wasn't surprised by her husband's infidelity. You guessed this would happen. Women are said to have a sixth sense, but they don't guess randomly. They sense changes in their partners.

I have fewer expectations of him now.

Chances are only given to the sincere.

After the questioner proposed divorce, her husband promised to change. In a marriage, there are reasons for either continuing or separating after infidelity. As long as you can still find happiness, you can give each other another chance.

The trust is gone. It will take time to rebuild it. Opportunities are only for the determined. At first, the questioner's husband seemed different, and the questioner was starting to think about the improvement in the relationship.

He's trying to regain her trust. He wants to come back, and she wants to forgive him. Then it's still worth it.

Pressure can also be motivation.

After six months of good behavior, the OP was pleased, but then discovered that her husband had borrowed a lot of money. She helped her husband pay it back. After that, he seemed to have changed again.

Money problems can motivate a husband to change. The questioner helped him pay off his debts, so he no longer had to bear the pressure. He knew the questioner still cared about him, so he began to change.

Help him pay off his debts. The questioner may have thought that as a wife, it is her duty to help him. The husband sees the questioner as a refuge. You are always there for him, which makes him less responsible.

Expectations can lead to disappointment.

After her husband returned home, she still had high expectations of him. If he kept changing, she could forgive him and go on together.

Higher expectations lead to greater disappointment. Seeing her husband no longer takes the initiative makes the question asker feel a sense of loss. Always having to ask makes the question asker feel like she is relying on herself.

If you push yourself to mature, he'll learn to take responsibility. Don't give up. Persevere, and you'll contribute to the family.

Your decision not to expect anything from him is also a kind of accommodation. You don't want to waste any more energy on him. Men and women think differently. He only knows that you are very capable and can handle everything on your own.

Try to change how you get along with him. Let him know the family needs him to support it more. When he is willing to take on this burden, you will both have grown.

I hope this helps.

Hello! I'm a listener at Yixin, and I'd love to meet Rainbow!

Hello! I just read your description and I'm so excited to tell you how much I admire you! You're clearly a very wise, kind-hearted, flexible, generous, and tolerant woman. I can see the love you have for your family and your husband, and I'm so inspired by you!

Facing your husband's infidelity, you have clearly gone through a lot of hard work and changes to make your husband change. This shows that you are a very wise woman, and it is so inspiring to see how you have maintained this family!

I'm excited to explain what causes this situation using the three ego states in psychology! What are ego states?

Guess what! Each of us has three amazing ego states: parental, adult, and child.

Now, let's dive into the fascinating world of the parental self-state!

These are patterns of behavior and ways of thinking that we learn from our elders and integrate into our own personalities.

The great news is that the parental self-state can be divided into a controlling parental self-state and a caring parental self-state!

The control-oriented parent self-state is often a great teacher! They show an educational, critical, lecturing, and controlling side when interacting with people.

➲Caring parent self-state: This is your caring, encouraging, and supportive side. You're warm, caring, and always ready to provide comfort and encouragement to others.

Adult self-state

This self-state is all about rationality, calculation, respect for facts, and non-emotional behavior. Its thoughts, actions, and emotions are all reactions to events happening right now, which makes it super flexible and adaptable!

Let's dive into the fascinating world of the child self-state!

It all comes from the behaviors, thoughts, and feelings left behind by the individual's same-year experiences. When we combine the functions, we can divide it into two fascinating states: the adaptive child self-state and the natural child self-state.

➲ Adaptive child self-state: This is the child in you who is obedient, submissive, pleasing, and loving. This child is often filled with self-blame, worry, anxiety, and self-guilt. But don't worry! This is something you can work on.

➲ Natural child self-state: Lively, impulsive, naïve, action-oriented, playful, and clear in one's likes and dislikes, just like a self-centered baby, pursuing pleasure and being able to fully express one's emotions. When needs are met, they express joy; when needs are not met, they express anger.

Interpersonal relationships are all about getting along with each other's three "self-states." Each self-state includes a complete set of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

When we face each other in different states, the current behavior pattern we display reflects our inner state of self. And that's a good thing! There's no such thing as a "bad" self-state. It only describes the current state and the mode in which we are in. In different situations, different "selves" have their own adaptability and discomfort.

Now that we've explored the three self-states, let's dive into how they shape your relationship with your husband!

You are so tolerant, considerate, caring, and attentive towards your husband! You have used the caring parent self-state a lot, which is great.

Facing my husband's infidelity, I suspected that it was my own problem, so I accommodated him, then helped her pay off her debts and take on the heavy responsibilities of the family, without putting any pressure on him. This is more like the attitude of a parent towards a child, infinitely tolerant and accepting of the child. It's been an amazing journey!

Your husband is probably using the natural child self-state. He's made some money and is enjoying himself. He's always on the go and often finds reasons to argue and storms out for the night.

So, when you help her pay off her debts and he continues to go out and play, not paying attention to the store or the kids, it's like he's acting like a child!

I found out about the infidelity last year, and I was ready for it. I wanted a divorce, and he promised over and over again that he would change. For the next six months, he did change. He didn't lose his temper for no reason, did everything at home and outside the home, and fell in love with playing ball.

I don't have to be so tired all the time, wondering where he is. These patterns of behavior are in the adult self state, which is great!

The best state for a person is when the three ego states are equally balanced. This is great news! It means that if one ego state is used too much, problems will arise in interpersonal relationships. For example, if you use the parent ego state too much and your husband uses the child ego state too much, the balance will be broken. But here's the good news: when you both move towards the adult ego state, your mode of interaction will be in an optimal state!

You ask, "What's wrong with him? What should I do?"

I don't plan to divorce at the moment. My attitude has also changed a lot for the better! I don't want to ask him to do things I can do myself, and I'm not as stubborn as I used to be.

I have fewer expectations of him than before, and it's a great feeling!

No child wants to leave their parents, and no parent wants to abandon their child. It's time for your husband to step up and shoulder the responsibilities of the family! You need to let go and let him take the lead. He'll be so happy to fulfill his obligations and take care of the family.

I wish you all the best and I'm so excited to see what the future holds for you! I'm thrilled to have been able to help.

Hello, question asker! I'm Jia Ao, and I'm here to help!

I've seen the problems and confusions you described on the platform, mainly the problems you said you encountered after your husband returned home after cheating. You found out about his cheating last year, but

But in the end, you didn't divorce, and he did change a lot! He also takes care of the family. Your problem now is that you've noticed that he

He's started paying less attention to the family and children again, but it's much better than before! You don't know what's going on in his mind, and you want to know what you should do?

Let's chat!

What is his state of mind?

1. In fact, your husband will be much better than before he cheated! He has fulfilled his promises in many ways. He promised you at the beginning, and he has been doing a lot of things at home and outside the home. You will be a little easier than before. But now he has done this after you helped him pay off his debts. He has changed! He may feel that he no longer needs to pretend to be good and family-oriented in front of you, or he may be more reckless because there are no debts anymore, and his playful heart has begun to grow again. Then he is busy having a good time outside, and naturally he can't pay attention to the children at home. This should be his true psychology now!

2. But he won't get a divorce easily, after all, there are children, right? And there is some business in your own store. Have you ever tried to communicate with him?

Have you ever asked him what he thinks? It's so interesting! He started feeling this way after you helped him pay off his debts. In fact, many people cannot necessarily stand it.

It's a bit deceitful and takes advantage of your trust in him.

2. So, what should you do?

So, what should you do? You've made the great decision not to get a divorce! Things are better than ever, except that some special circumstances have now arisen.

2. Specific: You've already made a decision, so it's time to solve the problem! You can communicate with him properly, ask him what he really thinks, and tell him your thoughts as well. You can tell him honestly: if you'd known he was always like this, you wouldn't have helped him pay off his debts. But now he's started going back on his word again, and you feel deceived. You're uncomfortable, but you hope he'll understand and stop in the future. Whether he takes care of the family or the children is your bottom line, and you say that if this bottom line is touched, you're not confident you can continue.

3. This is your chance to make things right! Find a time to sit down with your partner and talk about the future of your marriage, how you'll educate your children, and how you'll run the business. You can't do it alone, and you shouldn't have to. Marriage is a team effort, so don't carry the weight alone! This is also a great opportunity to show your kids how to work together.

3. So, how should you manage your marriage in the future?

1. The future is full of possibilities! You never know what it has in store for you. To be prepared for anything, you can start building your strength now. Take control of the finances and watch your life take off!

2. Once you have control over the finances, you can then communicate well and effectively with him. Even if it is for the sake of properly educating and guiding the children, you can't keep on being at loggerheads like this. The relationship can be eased!

3. To maintain a long-lasting and stable marriage, mutual respect and trust are essential. If there is no trust and no mutual respect, the marriage will not last long. But if you have these two things, your marriage will be strong and happy for years to come!

4. Even if you don't want a divorce, there will be a big hidden danger. Maybe one day, it won't be that you don't want a divorce, but that you have to get a divorce. But don't worry! You can do this! My advice is, step 1: Be strong. No matter how strong you are, you have to control the family finances, guide and educate your children well, and then learn to communicate with each other honestly, trusting, understanding and tolerant of each other. Only in this way can your marriage have a hope of continuing to develop, otherwise you will be very miserable and tortured in this marriage, because I can feel that you are actually very tired inside. But you can do this!

5. I'm sure that after you communicate with him, the relationship will improve greatly! He'll also take the initiative to help you take care of some things at home, so that you don't have to do it alone. You must first learn to love yourself and take care of yourself and your children.

I really hope my answer helps! The world and I love you ♥

Dear, It is a pleasure to read your words. They are as welcome as a personal visit.

From your written account, it is evident that the situation has been challenging for you.

I believe it would be beneficial to discuss the issue at hand together. What is his current state of mind?

Your husband was unfaithful to you and you sought a divorce after discovering this infidelity. However, he declined your request. It is likely that he never truly intended to leave the family and that the family, you and the children, are of great importance to him.

He promised to change, and he did in the early stages. It is not my intention to defend them, but it is often the case that the party who has been unfaithful also feels guilty, blames themselves, and endures the blame of others.

I believe that his previous actions were driven by a desire to compensate for past misdeeds, coupled with a sense of guilt and a hope for your forgiveness and acceptance.

You mentioned that after you assisted with the debt repayment, there was a further change in your husband's behaviour. I would like to discuss the perspective I have formed.

Your action has significant meaning for him. It signifies that he has your forgiveness, that this matter can be put behind him, and that he no longer needs to compensate as carefully as before. I believe he should be moved and at the same time relaxed. Finally, he can continue to live his life with a clear conscience.

Dear, perhaps you considered that if you did not divorce, you would still be responsible for the debt. However, I believe you demonstrated generosity and a willingness to move forward. You are prepared to let go of the past and pay your husband's debts. I believe your husband appreciates this.

Do you still believe that your husband should maintain his current cautious approach, continue to atone for his past actions, and continue to live with his actions affecting his personal and professional life? What is your desired outcome? If you want your husband to continue to operate with that mentality, is the family still a viable unit for him?

This is not a home that you wish to maintain going forward.

I am aware of the issues you have raised, the sacrifices you have made and the difficulties you are facing. However, you have already made a decision, have you not? Women often display stoicism and resilience, which can sometimes be stronger than that of men.

Dear, now that you have made a decision, how should you proceed?

I have a few suggestions that I believe may be beneficial to discuss with you.

I believe there are two primary factors contributing to the challenges in your marriage: his elevated ego and, potentially, communication issues.

I believe that effective communication between the two of you is contingent upon sincerity. It is essential to articulate your desires, emotions, and requirements. Instead of merely criticizing and complaining, it is crucial to recognize that this approach may not align with your genuine needs. This is not the desired outcome, but it is a consequence of the communication patterns we have been taught and learned.

It is important to note that even married couples require their own space, both mentally and physically. From a mental perspective, it is essential for individuals in this situation to be independent, to relinquish control and dependence, and to respect each other's boundaries.

However, this does not imply that you should cease relying on your husband in all aspects of your life. You should continue to rely on him when necessary. It is important to ensure that he is aware of the need for his input within this family unit. While this may not be straightforward, it is essential to maintain a rational and practical approach, with the wellbeing of the family as the primary objective.

It is important to rebuild trust. This can be achieved by engaging in enjoyable activities together, fostering a sense of comfort in each other's company, and exploring shared interests and hobbies.

I hope these suggestions are helpful to you. Finally, I would like to extend my support and best wishes for your safety.

I'm concerned to see that this situation has arisen in your family. It seems that your husband may not be particularly loyal.

It looks like he's not great at managing his money. If he's in debt, it might mean he struggles with money management. And if he's unfaithful, it could also suggest some character issues.

Someone with character and financial management deficiencies like this should know better. He needs to give himself some room to adjust.

Now that your husband has come back after cheating, it also shows that you may have forgiven him and you're not getting a divorce. It's just that both of you have changed a lot and there may have been some feelings between you at one point.

But now, this kind of feeling may also be less intense.

To put it another way, you have lower expectations of him than you used to. You used to let him stay out all night, and you forgave him when you found out he was cheating on you last year. He doesn't lose his temper for no reason, but he still has a lot of debt. All of this is also very difficult to bear. Maybe he just sees you as someone who raises the children. Or maybe he wants to treat you like an ATM.

Once you've helped him out, he'll think the bird is exhausted and the bow is hidden, the cunning rabbit is dead, and the running dog is cooked. You'll see that he only moves when you call him for household matters, as if he's a robot detached from everything. It seems like he's used up all his resources and has become detached, ignoring the family and your mood or needs.

Maybe this was his old personality. He used to be pretty arrogant, or at least he cared about nothing and disregarded everything, just going outside to have fun with his hobbies, right?

This kind of situation is still pretty challenging, especially if you're spending every waking moment with someone like that.

It's probably best to focus on your own life for now. You both need some space and distance.

It's still important to show affection when you live with someone. If you're not doing that anymore, it might be worth thinking about whether there are personal issues on either side that need to be addressed.

You're setting limits by lowering your expectations and demands, which is a solution for you, but it seems like your partner doesn't understand.

You haven't had a chance to talk about this in depth. He'll probably think this is just you adjusting your expectations. He might even think you're the one who should do everything for him.

But that's not the case. He's an adult, too, and needs to contribute to the family. He can't just hang around all day, waiting for you to help him clean up. If you want the relationship and the marriage to continue, both of you need to go to marriage counseling.

ZQ?

ZQ?