My wife is in her postpartum period and almost got into a fight with her sister-in-law. How should we handle this conflict?

Hello, I'm Xin Tan, Coach Fei Yun, and I'm so happy you're here! I can tell you've been wronged in this matter, and I admire your sincerity in admitting your mistakes.

Now, let's dive into the things that bother you!

Life is a tangled web, and that's what makes it beautiful! It's a flower made of twisted hemp rope, a thread with little knots that make it unique, and a road with potholes that make it interesting. Life is a glass of wine, full of the bittersweet taste of life, and it's all part of the journey!

/:rose Let's dive right in and explore the fascinating nature of marriage!

Now, let's dive into the exciting world of marriage and family! A marriage and family may seem to be a combination of two people who marry to form a new family, but it not only involves the husband and wife, but also the various relationships in each person's original family. This includes the conflicts you mentioned between yourself and your sister-in-law and brother-in-law (wife's younger brother's husband).

A marriage and family may seem to be a combination of two people who marry to form a new family, but it's so much more than that! It also involves the various relationships in each person's original family, including the conflicts you mentioned between yourself and your sister-in-law and brother-in-law (wife's younger brother's husband).

So, let's dive into the exciting world of marriage! It's a journey that requires three stages of adjustment: adjusting your interests and hobbies, adjusting your living habits, and adjusting your families/clans.

Let's make sure we're all on the same page! It's so important to communicate with each other as a family. When we do, we can avoid a lot of problems and conflicts.

Effective communication is all about sharing ideas and feelings to find a solution together!

/:rose All right, let's dive in and see how we can solve this specific problem!

1. Empathize and increase understanding:

So, what can we do about it? We can start by looking at things from a different perspective. Try putting yourself in someone else's shoes and see the truth of the matter.

It's time to look at things from a new perspective! Try putting yourself in someone else's shoes and exploring different viewpoints to uncover the truth.

It's time to look at things from a new perspective! Put yourself in other people's shoes and see the truth of the matter from more angles.

In this incident, it's clear that "each side has its own version of the truth." You went out to run errands, not to goof off, and your wife blames you for not giving her advance notice. Her behavior is "blame," but the motivation behind it is "concern" and "reliance" on you, which is really great to see!

You argued with her a little bit, but it was all because you felt aggrieved and hoped she could "understand and see" you!

Your sister-in-law argued with you, but her motive was to protect her sister, which was really sweet. Even her husband's scolding on the phone was out of his concern for his wife, which was really thoughtful of him.

It's so inspiring to see the good intentions behind everyone's actions! They all had such great intentions, but things took an unexpected turn.

This is due to a lack of understanding and communication. But it's also an opportunity for growth! Because men and women have different psychological needs, it's important to recognize that in marriage, men want to receive gratitude, admiration, and appreciation from their wives, while women want to feel secure, valued, and cared for by their husbands.

Let's take a moment to reflect on this conflict. Did you both step on the same toes? Did you both violate the other person's psychological bottom line?

2. Make sure you communicate clearly and give each other enough face!

As the saying goes, "words are not clear until they are spoken," so seize the opportunity to combine the points mentioned above about each other's needs and talk about them openly. You should be praised for your subsequent actions. Your sister's husband scolded you on the phone, and you took the initiative to sincerely apologize.

It's so important to deal with your mood first before dealing with things. When we are in the middle of emotions, it's easy to ignore the human aspect and focus only on the matter. But you can do it!

Once we understand each other's true intentions (motivations), it's amazing how understanding and forgiveness naturally increase! This was originally an "internal" conflict between you and your wife, but because your sister felt sorry for you, the conflict was invisibly escalated to a conflict between families.

So, apologize in a big way and then act like you mean it! That way, the other person will really see how sincere you are.

And there's more! You can also strengthen communication and exchanges with your wife, gain her understanding and support, and let her step in to mediate. I'm sure the effect will be better!

I really hope the above is helpful to you! The world and I love you!

If you want to continue the conversation, just click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. I'm so excited to communicate and grow with you one-on-one!