Problems getting along with your boyfriend, feeling like your boyfriend isn't as considerate?

In the description, the host says that in her relationship with her boyfriend, she feels like her own thoughts aren't being met. She's more accommodating and tolerant of the other person, who is laid-back and open about his emotions. This can make her feel a bit lost. In response to these issues, we have some suggestions that we hope will help the host.

1. Expressing Emotions

I'm sure you can imagine how you'd feel if the other person was insistent on their own ideas, unwilling to listen to yours, and even rejected them.

It's okay if you're feeling a little down, frustrated, or unsatisfied.

You can be open and honest with the other person about what you like and don't like. For example, you could say, "I like playing this game, but I'm not very interested in the one you like. I hope you won't force me to accept it. If you still insist that I do, and I accept the game I don't like, I will feel very uncomfortable."

Let's help the other person understand your feelings and respect that your thoughts are different from theirs. This will make the relationship more flexible and comfortable for everyone!

2. Build your self-confidence!

Host: There's no right or wrong here, just different perspectives. Don't be afraid to say or do the wrong thing.

Be brave and express yourself! As you become clearer and more certain, you'll know what you like and dislike, and how you like to be treated. How would you like to be treated?

Once you know yourself better, you'll be able to distinguish between different people's perspectives more easily. It's also a good idea to avoid situations that make you feel unsure of yourself.

3. Looking for things we can agree on while still respecting our differences

We all need to take care of ourselves sometimes, and conformity is a great way to do that. It's also a good idea to agree with other people's ideas sometimes, because it can save you a little bit of responsibility.

People are different, and that's okay! It's not possible for everyone to agree with you all the time.

If you express your own thoughts and are different from others, then you've really expressed yourself!

If you allow the other person to be different from you, you're showing them respect.

And the same goes for getting along with other people! Learn to express yourself clearly, while respecting each other's differences. This will lead to good interactions in relationships!

I really hope the original poster can find the confidence to express herself more bravely, to stand up for her rights and interests, and to find happiness and well-being in a relationship where she is treated with equality and respect.

Hi, I'm Strawberry.

Your boyfriend only thinks about himself when making decisions and arrangements. For example, when going out together, he doesn't ask what activities you want to do. Perhaps you would prefer to go out with just your boyfriend.

The questioner thinks her boyfriend is a straight man. She thinks his behavior is because he's straightforward and neglects her. Everyone's personality is related to their environment and people they meet. The questioner's boyfriend is not careful. Being straightforward can offend people.

Parents are role models for their children.

The questioner mentioned some things about her boyfriend that she doesn't like, like how he speaks, his attitude, and how he treats his friends and father.

The original poster's boyfriend is like his father. They interact the same way. They don't know there's something wrong. No one has told them.

☀️Method: Express yourself and try to improve.

The questioner has done a good job of expressing her thoughts directly. You have shown your boyfriend that you have opinions and standards for your relationship.

There's no set way two people get along. It's a process of trial and error. Apart from sharing your thoughts, communicate more and observe your boyfriend to see if you can improve.

She is willing to wait for him to "grow up."

The questioner has listed the boyfriend's shortcomings. They have also expressed some of their own thoughts to him on a regular basis. Does he accept or reject your expressions?

The questioner's boyfriend is used to saying no, so he might not accept the advice she gives. She should think about whether she can change him. If she can't, she'll just have to live with him as he is.

Learn together, be tolerant and understanding.

The questioner knows what he wants in a spouse and understands psychology. He also treats this relationship well, which is good for managing your intimate relationship.

Drum says the boyfriend should go with the questioner to learn how to get along in a relationship. He can also start by accepting the advice the questioner gives. If he knows what you say makes sense, the words the questioner speaks will be more persuasive.

Perseverance leads to success. A person's character is formed, and it's hard to change. The questioner's boyfriend has been living with his parents, so it'll take time. But if you're willing to try, you can change. I spent three years improving my husband's bad habits.

Related Books

I recommend "Intimate Relationship Management" and "It Turns Out That Understanding Is More Important Than Love" to the questioner. The questioner already knows about the five languages of love, so I won't go into too much detail. I hope my answer is helpful and I wish the questioner well.

Hello, questioner! I'm Jiang 61, a listening therapist.

I'm happy to answer your question. I'm moved by how you and your boyfriend interact. You've analyzed him well and you're right to be angry. This shows that you need to work out how you get along.

Let's analyze how to get along better with your boyfriend.

You ask, "My boyfriend is not considerate." You feel good?

Tell me about your boyfriend.

From your description, I can see your boyfriend.

1. Not caring about others' feelings

Yesterday at the amusement park, I felt my boyfriend wanted me to listen more and was less considerate. I was also confused and unsure of my thoughts.

Your boyfriend only cares about himself. I bet his parents are very controlling.

If your boyfriend grew up in such a family, he will want to be authoritative and unchallengeable in front of you.

Children who grow up in this kind of family either do what their parents tell them or think only of themselves.

2. It's just his personality.

You think he's a straight man who likes to say things directly. You think it's fine to tell him which one you want to play.

Your boyfriend is blunt and outspoken. He lacks empathy and is prone to anger.

He likes to control people.

You said: Sometimes I don't speak very gently. I think he's just used to speaking loudly. Sometimes he can be a bit aggressive. Yesterday, the three of us went out, and there was also his friend. They both tend to argue and be stubborn.

Your description of your boyfriend confirms his character.

3. Natural leader

Your boyfriend wants to be in charge, is stubborn, and thinks he's always right. He often criticizes others.

He's a born leader because he's capable and likes to be in charge.

You say you care more about time together. You've also told him you like positive words and don't like him being negative around others.

He understands, but he just can't do it. That's because leaders are rarely swayed by others.

2. Let's talk about you.

1. Gentle Lamb

You like it when your boyfriend is kind to you.

You need attention. Your boyfriend is gruff and ignorant, which makes you feel distressed.

2. Different personalities

You are sensitive, observant, thoughtful, and an idealist. You can sense your boyfriend's thoughts and care about your relationship.

Your different personalities make you feel a little uncomfortable, but you still like him.

3. Good at thinking about yourself.

You are a good observer and think you need to get along well, observe again, confirm your thoughts, and then find a solution.

Your character will bring you and your boyfriend closer.

3. Get along

You need to adjust and understand each other, especially your feelings.

1. Show him what he's good at.

Aggressive boyfriends are leaders. You can fulfill their wishes, listen to them, and give them respect in front of others. Let them be proud of themselves.

2. Take care of your feelings.

Radical boyfriends have little sympathy. Be upfront about your needs. Talk about your character traits and feelings when he's in a good mood. Show weakness and ask him to help. Thank him.

He will understand you and think of you.

I don't think there will be many conflicts. You may need to adapt to some of his habits, but these are not major issues.

Blessings!

Good day. I can discern that you feel somewhat constrained when in the presence of your boyfriend. He has indicated that you are forthright and self-conscious, and that he has not adequately addressed your feelings. When you experience a profound sense of distress, he is unaware. Perhaps if you express your concerns, you may be able to recognize your discomfort. I empathize with your current situation.

1. "Yesterday, when we visited the amusement park together, I felt that my boyfriend was more inclined to listen to him than to be considerate, and he didn't inquire about my preferences regarding the rides. I was also uncertain yesterday, and I'm not sure if my thoughts were accurate."

Your boyfriend's behavior makes you feel uncomfortable. He is quite self-conscious and likes you to listen to him on many things, which makes you feel disrespected. You appreciate it when he asks you what you want to do and values your input because it meets your needs. You can accept your emotions and allow them to exist. Please stay with this uncomfortable feeling for a while.

2. "I believe there is a possibility that he is a more straightforward individual who prefers direct communication. I can simply inform him of my preference regarding which role I wish to assume. On occasion, his tone of voice is not particularly gentle. Perhaps this is simply his nature as a straightforward individual to speak in a forceful and assertive manner."

On occasion, he displays a tendency towards aggression. Yesterday, the three of us went out, and he was with his friend. It appeared as though he was engaged in a dispute with his friend and his father, and he was unyielding in his insistence on being correct.

(1) The questioner's approach is correct. Needs and wants can be directly expressed, whether the context is personal or professional. It is important to communicate clearly and effectively to ensure mutual understanding.

(2) He speaks directly and loudly. How does that make you feel? Does it cause you panic?

Do you feel scared or disrespected?

Please indicate whether there are any other individuals in the family who speak loudly. The questioner should take the time to consider the matter. It is important for the questioner to care for their own emotional well-being and to communicate when they feel uncomfortable.

It is unlikely that repeating this information will have a significant impact. However, if you consistently communicate this message, it may encourage him to take your needs into account.

3. "I am more concerned with fostering a positive relationship with the two of us. I have also informed him that I prefer a constructive approach. When he interacts with others, there is a tendency towards negativity, which I find unproductive. I believe it is essential to establish a positive rapport with him, identify my own contributions, and then determine how to address the issue."

(1) The questioner can observe more, see how he gets along with him, and see if he can accept his occasional negativity. Based on this information, the questioner needs to have a strong sense of self-awareness. This means that regardless of what he says, the questioner must believe that he is good and excellent. Having this confidence will prevent him from feeling hurt when he is with him.

(2) The boyfriend's behavior has been formed over many years, and it will be challenging for him to change it abruptly. However, you can remind him and let him know that you are uncomfortable, and see if he is willing to address your concerns. It is also important to note that your boyfriend needs to take the initiative to learn and grow, change his behavior, and recognize that this is his responsibility. It is possible that he was rarely praised by his parents during his upbringing and received more negative feedback, which may have shaped his current way of thinking. This aspect can be modified, but it is essential that he takes the lead in doing so.

I hope this information is useful to you.

Hello, questioner!

In your relationship with your boyfriend, you feel that he is too straightforward and not considerate, which makes you feel a little lost and perhaps a little depressed.

You seem like a girl with a particularly sensitive heart. You can observe your boyfriend's behavior and also experience the subtle feelings in your heart. At the same time, you are also a relatively stable and thoughtful person. You know what you don't like, and you will give yourself time to observe and solve problems again.

From what you've told me, it seems like your boyfriend is a bit of a loose cannon. He doesn't seem to care much about other people's feelings, and he might also be a bit self-righteous. You're sensitive and delicate, and you tend to be more accommodating and considerate of other people's feelings.

And you should also have some self-doubt and be afraid to express your feelings and needs openly.

If you don't have a good understanding of yourself and continue to get along with your boyfriend in this way, it is likely that he will end up controlling you. Fortunately, you have noticed something is wrong and know how to ask for help.

I'll share my thoughts and suggestions, in the hope that they'll be helpful.

First, accept yourself and build up your self-confidence.

You say you're a bit confused and unsure whether your thoughts are correct. In fact, many times our thoughts don't matter whether they're correct or not. For example, if you go to an amusement park with your boyfriend and he wants to play this and you want to play that, there's no right or wrong. Everyone is born different, and just because you're different from others doesn't mean that others are better.

Don't let the idea of "correct" limit your thoughts and actions in the future. Believe that your thoughts, including your personality and hobbies, are just fine.

Second, be open with your boyfriend about what you need from him.

You lack confidence and often feel that your thoughts may not be correct, so you don't voice them and instead follow other people's arrangements. If this continues, your inner needs won't be met, and you'll become increasingly depressed.

When you want to do something, don't be afraid to tell your boyfriend. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. If he doesn't agree, you can be a little coquettish or ask him not to come with you.

Don't compromise yourself and always take care of your heart.

Third, speak up and let your boyfriend know when you're not happy.

Your boyfriend is the opposite. He's not sensitive enough, too self-conscious, and doesn't know how to take care of other people's feelings. Sometimes you feel a little uncomfortable, but he doesn't notice.

When you notice it, you have to speak up. Tell him how his behavior makes you feel and express your hope that he will adopt a more appropriate behavior in the future.

Given your different personalities, you and your boyfriend are bound to have some friction. It's important to pay attention to your inner self and learn more about relevant psychological topics like intimacy and personality. This will help you manage your emotions and improve your overall well-being.

My name is Haru Aoki, and I just wanted to say that I love you all.