Promiscuity or loneliness? Lack of love?Or... what?

Dear Question Asker,

It is challenging to provide guidance on one's emotional experiences in a limited amount of text. Nevertheless, I hope to offer a few insights in my response to accompany you in exploring possibilities when you experience a lack of confidence in yourself.

It is challenging to provide counsel on one's emotional experiences in a mere 400 words. Nevertheless, I endeavor to offer a few insights in my response to accompany you in envisioning a broader range of possibilities when you experience a loss of confidence in yourself.

It would be prudent to avoid self-fulfilling prophecies.

From your written words, it is evident that you have a strong desire for love and a sense of confusion about the reality of your situation. Additionally, you have made several negative comments about yourself, including "I was timid and weak since childhood," "I am indecisive," "I lack a firm opinion in everything I do, and I have no self-confidence and no interesting soul." You have even expressed doubt about whether you will "end up alone."

This is reminiscent of the "self-fulfilling prophecy" put forth by social psychologist Robert Merton. Our self-evaluations, whether accurate or not, will to some extent influence our conduct and, in so doing, bring about the fruition of our own prophecies. Consequently, it would be more prudent to posit that you will "die alone" than to suggest that you will "find true love."

What, precisely, is the source of your attraction?

In the article, you stated that you "like every person you meet," and it appears that numerous individuals have captured your attention. Therefore, it would be beneficial to ascertain what qualities these individuals possess that elicit such a strong response. If the factors that attract you to these individuals are distinct, it would be insightful to understand what aspect of them consistently leads to this intense emotional response.

Additionally, it would be beneficial to understand whether a girl's request for your attention and affection makes you feel affirmed and needed, and if so, whether this enhances your desire for the relationship. Furthermore, you have mentioned on two occasions that your ideal love is "sour, sweet, bitter, and spicy." It would be insightful to understand what this expression evokes for you.

It is a fallacy to assume that relationships which make people feel inferior are, in fact, expressions of love.

As previously stated, the subject experienced three years of unrequited love, two instances of being the backup plan, the exertion of licking a dog, and an inability to decline a female's request. In these relationships, the subject consistently perceived themselves as inferior to the other person. While this phenomenon's underlying causes remain undetermined, it is evident that a relationship that fosters humility is not an expression of love.

In an authentic intimate relationship, both individuals are regarded as equals, and the relationship fosters feelings of nourishment, confidence, and courage.

Ultimately, it is my hope that the original poster will recognize his own merits and appeal and persevere in his pursuit of happiness.

Good morning!

Perhaps it would be helpful to ask yourself: is it being fickle or being lonely, or a lack of love?

It may seem that people who are unfaithful have love and prosperity on the surface, but in reality, they may be experiencing loneliness.

One might say that feeling lonely inside is because there is no one who can spiritually communicate and accompany.

It is often the case that spiritual fulfillment arises from the emotional nurturing of parents during one's formative years.

If one does not receive sufficient parental love, particularly maternal love, during one's formative years, it can lead to feelings of being adrift and isolated.

In the face of this loss and loneliness, it is natural to seek out someone who can provide a sense of love and belonging. During their formative years, this may manifest as a search for a friend, a teacher, or someone else who can offer a sense of attachment or belonging.

As they mature, they may tend to invest a great deal of emotional energy into intimate relationships, such as those with partners or lovers.

If they are unable to find someone who can meet their emotional needs, provide unconditional love, and fill the deep void within, they may experience a further deepening of loneliness.

When feeling lonely, some people may lose their belief in their ability to find love and may appear emotionally indifferent.

Those who still have hope may wish to consider continuing their search.

And what you find may not necessarily resonate with you on a deeper level.

Perhaps it would be best to move on and find someone else.

Some might say this is a sign of being fickle.

From our perspective, the essence of loneliness can be seen as the loss of the original love. It's possible that being fickle stems from a desire to find lost love again and a need for more love, or perhaps a deeper love.

Could I suggest that the kind of bittersweet love you think of is a little deeper?

It may be the case that you have not yet had the opportunity to meet someone who is able to fully capture your attention.

Until you meet someone like that, it might be helpful to consider what kind of girl you like.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what kind of girl attracts you the most.

It could be said that the qualities you like and are attracted to in others are the emotions you most need to be satisfied.

For instance, if you tend to be reserved and lack self-assurance, with a tendency to be perceived as uninteresting, would someone who is outgoing and cheerful, warm and generous, decisive and resolute, and cute and humorous be more appealing to you?

If you like each other, there is a good chance that your personalities will complement each other, and she may even bring out the extrovert in you.

With such a "anchor," might you find yourself less inclined to wander?

If it is not possible to meet such a girl at this time, it may be helpful to consider categorizing the girl you are dating to see if she aligns with your expectations. If not, it might be beneficial to view her as a friend. Dating a friend is different from dating a potential partner.

It might be helpful to consider that falling in love with every person you meet is not necessarily the most fulfilling way to navigate relationships. It can sometimes feel like having a superficial friendship, which might not fully address the deeper needs for intimacy and love that we all have.

It may be helpful to consider that only by setting boundaries can you begin to understand what you really need.

Intimacy is something that lovers can provide, but it may not be the complete answer to the emotional needs of either person.

It may be helpful to consider that this emptiness can potentially be filled by building self-confidence, self-love, and finding oneself, which could then allow for greater stability and the possibility of entering into a healthier intimate relationship.

I hope this reply is helpful to you.

My name is Yan Guilai, and I'm a psychological counselor. I hope you find this advice helpful!

Hello, dear question asker!

I've read your question and I totally get where you're coming from. I'd be happy to go through it with you so you can see where I'm coming from.

1. This is just our learning and exploration, sweetheart.

Love is something you learn, my dear friend.

It's a bit like learning to swim!

You know, you can't learn to swim without getting in the water!

It's only when we fall in love and like someone that we can truly understand what love is.

I know it can be hard to know yourself. Do you ever wonder if you are fickle or lonely? Or if you lack love?

There's absolutely no need to define yourself. This is just a process of learning and exploration.

I totally agree with you! If you haven't really experienced the sweet and sour of love, it might be that you haven't truly entered into a relationship yet.

It's okay! Our experiences of liking a female classmate for three years, or having two back-up experiences, are actually all valuable experiences.

Just imagine for a moment that you met a girl now and had a secret crush on her. Would you listen to your heart and take some action?

Or which situation is a spare tire?

This is something you really need to experience for yourself!

We all long for love, and that's okay!

It's totally normal to be at the age of love, longing for love, liking girls, and longing for girls' responses!

2. Take a deep breath and think about what your ideal love is like.

You say that you feel like "seeing one and liking one, with a central air conditioning personality," and "when a girl asks you for help, I don't think I've ever refused to help with something I think I can do." When this happens, it's so important to remember that you don't have to deny yourself. Just learn to distinguish between the kind of help you can give and the kind of help you don't need to give.

For example, you can help out with requests as a casual friend, but it's important to set boundaries when it comes to helping out as a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Of course, this just takes a little time and patience.

It's great to be known as helpful, but it can also make a girl who likes you think you're a bit of a womanizer who's willing to help anyone.

At this point, it's totally okay to think about what kind of girl you really like!

It's totally normal to find different girls attractive because you want to fall in love. It can feel like you like one after the other, but in reality it's just a superficial liking.

When you can take relationships less urgently, it becomes clear what kind of girl you really like and what kind of intimacy you desire.

It's so important to remember that a long-lasting relationship must be mutually satisfying.

So it's always a good idea to think about what you're giving in return.

I'm sure you'll agree that that really won't lead to a good relationship.

3. You've got this! Keep growing and believing in your unique value.

Being in love is actually another wonderful opportunity for personal growth!

As we go along, we'll get to know ourselves better and better!

It's totally normal to think about your shortcomings when you're struggling to find love.

For example, when you think, "I lack conviction in everything I do, and I have no self-confidence and no interesting soul," it's easy to overlook your own strengths.

I'd like to encourage you to take your time and write down your success diary from now on.

For example, you can think about your strengths and what you're good at, like your work, your independence, your friendliness, and so on.

When we believe in our own unique value and know that we are worthy of love, no matter what, we are ready and more likely to enter into an intimate relationship.

In a relationship, there's the concept of availability, which is really important.

For example, in a relationship, if you make a request, you can count on getting a response. If you send a message, she'll reply right away!

It's also important to learn how to make requests and give the other person the chance to give back.

If you're interested, I'd love for you to read How to Make the One You Love Fall in Love With You!

Wishing you all the best!

Hello, my friend! I'm Jiang 61.

From what you've told me, you seem like a kind and considerate boy. It's clear you're looking for a passionate love affair, but you're not sure how to go about it. I'm here to help you figure it out!

Welcome to the psychological counseling center! We're so happy you're here. You're in good hands. There are people who will listen to you attentively and help you sort things out.

I can relate to that! I'm still a relatively new practitioner in this industry, but I have a serious attitude and I'm eager to help people like you who can help.

I've read your account a few times now, and I've got a good grasp on the following areas in relation to the questions you've asked. I hope this is helpful for you!

1. Your personality makes it tough for you to make decisions for yourself.

You said you were timid and weak since childhood. I can relate! When you were in school, you secretly liked a girl for three years, but you didn't confess your feelings until graduation. I remember that one year, on the girl's birthday while I was still in school, I asked my siblings for advice on what to give her, but they rejected the idea, saying that there was no point in giving her a gift. Being indecisive, I listened to them and didn't give her a gift, even though I actually wanted to give her something. After I started working,

As you can see, it's clear that indecision, timidity, and cowardice are the main characteristics of your personality. This is related to your upbringing, which is totally understandable!

It's probably been a challenge for you to decide for yourself what to do since childhood. It's understandable that you've become used to following the commands of adults and siblings. You're such a kind person, and you don't want to displease anyone or make anyone unhappy.

Over time, you've learned to rely on others for guidance when it comes to making decisions. It's totally understandable! We all have those moments when we're not sure what to do, and it's natural to want to align with what others think.

I totally get it. You regret it because you understand that it's not your true feeling.

2. Why do you like someone you meet?

You say, "I've never really experienced the ups and downs of love, and I'd really love to have one. Sometimes I think it's a shame that I lack conviction in everything I do, have no self-confidence, and am not an interesting person. I'm not sure if the above problems have contributed to my psychology of liking one person after another. I have a centralized personality, especially towards women."

From what you've told me, it seems like you're not totally happy with who you are right now.

First, it makes you lack assertiveness and self-confidence, which is totally normal! It's also important to remember that you have your own thoughts and feelings. It's not about living your life for others, but rather about learning to balance taking care of others with taking care of yourself.

Second, you become so caught up in taking care of other people's feelings that you forget to take care of yourself. This can make it hard for you to experience the full range of emotions.

Third, it can feel like everyone is always relying on you. They're like a central air conditioner, ready to be used at any time: as a means of heating when you're feeling down, or as a place to cool off when you're feeling cocky. It's natural not to feel grateful in these situations.

You hate this kind of life, and you're not alone! You might even suspect that this is the reason why you fall in love with everyone you meet.

Actually, this isn't the case. Inevitably, you'll discover the other person's weaknesses when you meet them. Your kind nature and inner drive to be affirmed and needed will make you care for them with great compassion, which you may think is loving the person.

It's okay, we all do this! You're just caring about your own feelings and subconsciously hoping to gain the other person's approval and love through these actions.

So, what you really want is love and to be loved back by the other person. This isn't about falling in love with someone, but about making a trade.

You said, "It's a shame, but I've been the backup twice and licked the dog's butt. I really want to change, but I just can't help falling in love at first sight! When a girl asks you for help, I don't think I've ever refused anything that I thought I could help with."

This is your true self, my friend.

3. And most importantly, love and respect yourself!

You say, "People still call me helpful, and people behind my back say I'm a heartless scumbag. In reality, I've never experienced the real bittersweet love. You doubt whether you will end up alone because you cannot find love for the time being."

It's so sad when people misunderstand your kind actions. They see you as helpful, fickle, and even a scumbag. But deep down, you just want to be loved by loving others.

It's not your fault, sweetheart. Please don't dwell on it, don't be depressed, and don't feel remorseful. Kind people will always have a good outcome.

You worry that no one will ever love you and that you will end up alone. I'm here to tell you that you're wrong!

You're such a kind and thoughtful person! I'm sure someone out there will recognize all that goodness and appreciate you for it.

You've got to believe in yourself! Someone who is worth your devotion will appear, I just know it!

Before waiting for her to appear, it's also a great idea to adjust your state of mind. Learn to be yourself, love yourself, and follow your heart.

1. Learn to be yourself!

You are the master of your own destiny, so you can't go wrong! Your life is yours, so it's important to learn to be your own master.

2. Love yourself!

When you love yourself and make yourself better, others will discover you and fall in love with you. Don't try to please and impress others, because that kind of love is only fleeting.

So, my dear friend, love yourself first. Only then will you be able to love others better.

3. Follow your heart!

Don't follow blindly or act impulsively, but experience love with your heart. This is the kind of love that is true, my dear friend.

Because love doesn't just fall from the sky, it's cultivated day by day. It's so important to follow your heart's feelings! When your love comes from the bottom of your heart and you're willing to do something for her, that's when you've met your true love!

Just keep looking with all your heart, and it will appear!

From the comments, it seems that the questioner is experiencing some hesitancy and uncertainty about his pursuit of love. On the one hand, he appears to have some reservations about his own character, and on the other hand, he mentions that he is in a state of seeing one and liking one.

I wonder if I might inquire further into the psychology behind the phenomenon of seeing someone and liking someone at the same time. From what I can gather, the questioner is seeking a genuine form of bittersweet love.

In light of these challenges, I hope that the following sharing will offer some inspiration and guidance.

In light of these challenges, I hope that the following sharing will offer some inspiration and guidance.

First, it might be helpful to think of love as a kind of ability. Before loving others, it could be beneficial to focus on loving yourself.

From the comments, it seems that the questioner may have experienced some challenges in relationships. It's possible that he's not quite sure how to express his love for the girl he likes.

Additionally, he could benefit from developing more assertiveness in refusing other people's requests. When interacting with others, there may be room for improvement in establishing clearer boundaries.

This suggests that the questioner may benefit from further guidance on how to improve their practice of love.

Love is a kind of ability that encompasses both loving yourself and loving others.

Perhaps the area that could benefit from the most attention at this time is the aspect of loving yourself.

Perhaps I haven't been as assertive as I could have been in saying no to others, and I've sometimes found myself in a secondary position. I've also had experiences where I've been licked by dogs for affection.

All of this may influence the questioner's understanding of themselves and their sense of self-worth.

One way to show love for yourself is to kindly but firmly decline requests that don't align with your values or comfort level. It's also okay to say "no" when you're not quite ready or comfortable with something.

As we gain greater clarity about our own boundaries and those of others, we become more adept at discerning what brings us comfort and what creates discomfort. We also become more attuned to the nuances of others' expressions and the ways in which they give and receive love.

Once the questioner has gained a deeper understanding of how to love themselves, they will be better equipped to express appreciation and love for others. This will help them to navigate the surrounding words more effectively, which in turn will positively influence the arrival of their own true love.

Secondly, it is important to understand that embracing love does not necessarily mean waiting for it or allowing it to go to waste. Instead, it entails appreciating and liking each other. True love is often the result of two people pursuing each other.

It might be perceived that the questioner is frivolous and despicable. It could be that, apart from unclear boundaries, a significant factor is that the questioner mistakes a good impression for "like" when meeting someone they have a good impression of, which could result in the situation of "falling in love with everyone they meet."

To reverse this misunderstanding, or if the questioner himself also identifies this phenomenon as a situation of "seeing one and liking one," it would be helpful to consider how we can act slowly, slowly, and cautiously when such a good feeling arises.

It might be said that the arrival of love is not a one-way process, but rather a two-way experience.

In many cases, when two people can go out together, it is often because they have a good feeling for each other and they approach each other carefully, giving the feeling a chance to settle before confirming it.

It may be the case that the situation of the questioner is not unfaithful, nor is he lonely, nor is he lacking love. It could be that he simply lacks practice and exercise in the ability to love, and a longer opportunity to give action time to respond.

It is my sincere hope that the above sharing will be an inspiration to you.

I am a psychologist who does not explore human nature, but rather focuses on the human heart. I wish you well.

Hello, host! I really hope my answer can help you in some way.

I'm so impressed by how honest you are in your description! It's so important to be able to express ourselves honestly, without doubting ourselves or attacking ourselves. These things only consume us and don't bring about any change. What we need to do is grow and solve the problems we need to solve on the basis of understanding and accepting ourselves!

You can see your own problems and describe your emotional patterns so clearly. This is a great thing! It's the first step to understanding yourself. According to Erikson's eight-stage theory of personality development, each stage of our lives has a psychological development task that needs to be completed.

At your age, which is early adulthood (18-25 years old), you're going through a fascinating period of psychological development. It's totally normal for you to want to experience the real kind of bittersweet love. This is also the exciting psychological development task we need to accomplish at this stage!

You're not a playboy, you just need to learn how to love! You worry that they won't stick with you, so you fall in love with one after another. You may feel that every one is a chance, but you seem to have no confidence in each one, which has entered a very unstable emotional state. But you can change this!

To have a rock-solid love and a long-lasting relationship, we need to give the girl we truly love the preferential treatment she wants, so that she will be willing to stay with you.

As a girl, it seems to me that girls want preferential treatment. And why not? We all deserve it! To put it in a nutshell: in your heart, you treat me differently from others. This difference is reflected in four ways: you treat me differently from others; you can take care of my needs and feelings; you don't have to be by my side all the time, but you can respond in a timely manner when I need you; and you include me in your future plans.

1. You treat me differently from how you treat others, and it's a wonderful thing!

This is about the importance of attitude, whether I am your "one and only." Love is exclusive, and that's a good thing! When two people are in love, they are very jealous and also very concerned about the other person having intimate behavior with other people of the opposite sex.

So, girls often need to be sure that if you really love me, you'll keep your distance from others. You can care about other people, but you can't care about them the way you care about me. You can care about other people with me, not hide it from me, and go care about someone else alone.

Otherwise, the girl will feel insecure and you'll miss out on the chance to win her over!

However, there are still many guys out there who are not as sensitive and do not notice their girlfriend's little thoughts. But don't worry! At this time, if they see that their girlfriend is angry, they just need to communicate well, meet her needs, and take care of her feelings.

2. You can absolutely take care of my needs and feelings!

2. You can take care of my needs and feelings!

Many people say that girls value a guy's money, but in fact, most girls still value more whether the other person understands and loves them. And it's so true! If they meet someone who understands and loves them, even if the other person is not very wealthy, they will be willing to work hard together with them to create happiness that belongs to the two of them.

I'm so excited to tell you all about my amazing boyfriend! He may not have had much when we first met, but he was so understanding and loving. He always knew what I needed and made sure I was happy. And now that we're both doing well, he's working hard to give me a better life. I'm so lucky to have him!

When I met my boyfriend (now husband), he had nothing, but I felt very secure and at ease with him. He could always see my needs and feelings, and would do his best to meet them and take care of me. He would take responsibility for me and work hard for us—and it was so inspiring to see!

Now that our economic conditions are getting better and better, he always says that he works hard to give me a better life, and I believe him! My happiness does not lie in the external advantages he can bring me, but in the fact that he is still the one who can take care of my needs and feelings.

3. I love that you're not always around, but I really appreciate it when you respond quickly when I need you.

Once the passionate period of love has passed and you've entered the period of adjustment, you'll find that you no longer want to be together all the time. This is totally normal! It's a sign that you both need some independent space from each other. However, at this time, although the girl is not as "clingy" as before, she still needs you to give her some support.

This sense of security and reliance is so important! It's what gives people a sense of security and ease.

When our son was two years old, my husband was working in the city next door. He had to stay there from Monday to Friday because it was a two-hour commute each way, which was very troublesome. But it was also an exciting time for us! During that time, I was alone with the baby, but my husband would contact us every day to check on how we were doing. If there was an emergency, he would come back immediately.

Guess what! I had a little mishap recently while riding a scooter to pick up my son from preschool. I ended up with a few cuts and grazes, but it was nothing serious. My husband came back to see me right away, which was really sweet. I was probably just a little scared when I fell, so I cried for a bit. But it's all good!

My husband came back to comfort me a little. Seeing that I was fine, he rushed back to work. And I was so grateful for his timely return—it made me feel so much less helpless and afraid!

Absolutely! We girls really don't need your constant care. What we need is a safe haven to rely on when we especially need you.

4. You will definitely include me in your future plans!

If we don't share the same expectations, it can make it tough to keep the spark alive. But when a girl feels that the other person has included her in their future plans, it's a total game-changer! She'll feel cared for and favored, and it'll make her feel like the most important person in the world.

When you're brimming with hope for the future, you're filled with anticipation for the beautiful things you'll experience together and the sweetness you'll create as a couple. She'll also be eagerly looking forward to your future together!

For example, you can plan a vacation together, decorate your new home together, participate in a charity together, or even go to a live performance together!

These shared expectations are exactly the promise a boy makes to a girl. It is the power of the promise that makes the relationship last—and it's a wonderful thing!

When you meet that girl you really like, it's an amazing feeling! You can show your preference for her in words and actions, and she can feel your love for her. Then, she'll give you the taste of love in return!

You will not end up alone! Once you grasp the code of love and learn how to manage intimate relationships, you will find the happiness that is truly yours. I highly recommend the books Intimacy, Managing Intimacy, The Five Love Skills, and Intimacy: A Bridge to the Soul. These books will teach you how to escape loneliness and find that special someone with whom you can share your heart!

Best of luck!

Hello, I'm happy to be able to help you with this.

I'm Yan Shiqi, and I hope my answer helps.

First of all, I don't think you're a playboy in your current situation.

It seems that the person you like is not in a committed relationship.

When you realize you like someone, you do your best to make them happy.

On the other hand, this can make people think you're a "central air conditioner."

The solution is to set some boundaries with your friends.

You should learn to politely decline when your boyfriend asks you to do something. You can gain some insight into interpersonal relationships with high emotional intelligence.

Secondly, the questioner feels a little unsure of themselves.

This might be related to your family relationships. You're used to following your family's advice, so it's become a natural habit.

The solution is to listen to your inner voice and persevere when faced with a choice. Just give it that last push, and you'll gradually gain some self-confidence and happiness.

At the end of the day, everyone has the right to pursue their own love.

It's normal for the questioner to have aspirations for his own relationship. It's not a lack of love, but also a desire to have a relationship of his own.

Fate is wonderful, and you can't always find the right person for you.

When you meet a girl you like, be courageous and follow your heart.

Ultimately, I hope the questioner finds a resolution sooner rather than later.

That's my take on it. I hope it helps.

From your words, I can see more of a feeling of loneliness than of being fickle. You haven't experienced a lot of love and haven't really been in a long-term relationship. But that's okay! We all have different experiences in life. How can someone like this be called fickle?

You haven't even been in a relationship yet! At that time, you had a crush on someone, but you never confessed your feelings, and you never even gave them a gift. In your current state, you are just happy to help others, and you may help others sometimes. This kind of situation is not at all fickle-minded!

You just love helping others! There are no other disadvantages. Of course, some people may not appreciate your help at all, so they may even use some tragic words to describe you. But you know what? You shouldn't listen to other people's words completely, because those words may not be correct.

So when we face these things, when we face other people's opinions, we shouldn't listen to them completely. This is your chance to make a change! Maybe you are more often lonely because your family may not have comforted you in many situations and supported you.

In this case, you'll feel lonely and isolated.

We also need to think about what kind of lifestyle we want in our own lives. There was once a girl in front of you, and you didn't confess until graduation. But you can do better than that! You can choose to do something about it. You can choose to make a change. You can choose to take the initiative. You can choose to seize the day. You can choose to live your life on your terms. You can choose to make your dreams come true. You can choose to be the best version of yourself. You can choose to be happy. You can choose to be confident. You can choose to be bold. You can choose to be courageous. You can choose to be the one who gets to say "I love you" at the end of graduation. You can choose to be the one who gets to say "I do" at the end of graduation. You can

This is something to think about!

Don't be so indecisive! You haven't experienced true love yet, so you can still explore your possibilities!

You're still young, with so many opportunities to meet someone! Don't worry, you won't be lonely for the rest of your life.

The future is full of possibilities! It's something we can't be sure of, but it's exciting to think about. I would also recommend that you make some adjustments so that you can train yourself to actively make friends with other people and not be bothered by what other people say. The term "scum" has been overused, so let's choose our words more carefully!

It's incredible how anyone can be a scumbag these days! The threshold is so low that the meaning of the term no longer exists. We just need to be more time-saving and resourceful in doing our own thing, so that we can face life better. This is what you need to do!

Don't let other people's words bring you down!

We all have our own lives, and that's a wonderful thing! I highly recommend that you seek psychological counseling, where you can talk to a psychotherapist about some of your past experiences. This is a great way to temporarily pour out your recent state of mind and feel more comfortable. In this way, you will be better equipped to deal with the bad things you have faced in the past. At the same time, you can also read "What is Love?," "The Dating Guide for Homebody," "Why the More You Love, the More Lonely You Are," and "What Are We Talking About When We Talk About Love?" to make yourself more confident and colorful in the future!

ZQ?

After reading your post, I just want to give you a big hug! I can tell you've been through a lot in your relationships and in your life in general.

You have two exciting opportunities to work on! First, you feel your character could be more assertive. You have your own ideas, and when others voice their opinions, you have the chance to stick to your own ideas, which will help you feel more confident.

This shows that the questioner has not yet formed a relatively strong and firm sense of self within, and is not strong enough to defend and implement their own ideas. But there's no reason why they can't do it!

It'll take some time, but you can do it!

Absolutely! You can definitely cultivate your own opinions by making decisions for yourself in the little things in life.

For example, you can start small—deciding when to go out, when to be with whom, and what to eat tonight. Before you know it, you'll be making bigger decisions about who to get involved with and how to get involved with someone!

Once you've got this down, you'll be able to make decisions and stick to your ideas in bigger matters too! You'll feel more confident when others disagree with you, and you'll know you can stand your ground.

Now, let's talk about your love life!

I've read that you say you currently fall in love easily and are a giver in relationships, which is wonderful!

First, let's dive into the fascinating topic of why we meet someone and fall in love!

It's true! People who are particularly prone to falling in love with someone aren't really doing it out of love or affection. They're doing it out of an internal desire and emotional projection.

Let me be frank with you. You don't like the person across from you, but you're projecting your ideal of them. This is probably related to your lack of relationships and love.

Because you were unable to establish a good relationship in the real world, including your relationship with your parents in your early years, it is easy for you to live in a relationship of your own imagination—and that's a wonderful thing!

Secondly, you mentioned that you always give in a submissive manner in relationships, which is great!

You said, "I can't truly experience the bittersweet love of a relationship," because you can't face up to the reality of a real relationship. You can't present your true self in a relationship, and you always try to create an image of a good person to please the other person by acting like a giver. But here's the good news! You can change all that. You can learn to embrace the bittersweet love of a relationship. You can present your true self in a relationship. You can create an image of a good person that is true to you, and you can act like a giver without feeling like you have to please someone else.

Giving is actually a form of self-protection!

By giving in relationships and presenting an image of a good person, you have the opportunity to hide your true self and protect yourself from being disliked and abandoned by others.

If the questioner wants to break through, they need to work more on childhood trauma and self-healing. And they can do it! They can figure out how their current character pattern was formed and transform and grow. They can make a difference!

I highly recommend that you seek the guidance of a professional, as I believe this will be a highly beneficial and efficient process for you!

If you think psychological counseling is expensive, I've got some great news for you! I can also recommend a few books for you to learn more about yourself.

Wu Zhihong: "Why the More You Love, the More Lonely You Are," "Live Your Little Universe," and "Have a Life Where You Are in Control"

Cong Feicong: "The Power of Self-Growth," "Allow Yourself," and "I'm Really Great"

Zhou Fan: "When you learn to love yourself, the whole world will come to love you!"

A boy who wants to love and be loved is having a hard time in love.

Let's solve the problem.

1. You're confused about love. You think you love everyone you meet.

Love doesn't mean that if you pay, the other person will fall in love with you.

3. You lack confidence and are indecisive.

4. No experience of a relationship with two-way interaction and fear of ending up alone.

I'll try to give you new perspectives on love.

If a girl likes you, treats you well, and you're happy together, would you still look at other girls?

Maybe you haven't received love from your partner, so you've lost your standards for love. Maybe you're not sure you're attractive, so you've become, "I'm not sure I'm attractive, so I might as well like a few people, just in case one of them likes me." Maybe it's a sign of a lack of confidence in long-term relationships.

2. In love, nice guys don't always finish first. Build your own charisma and attractiveness. Girls prefer nice guys. Learn to improve yourself.

3. We can control the world, but we can't control ourselves.

Your opinions come from how you think and how you live your life. If you didn't give a girl a gift at first, can you give a gift now? Or are you just trying to show the other person you like them with a gift?

Here are a few suggestions: 1. Give her what she likes and needs. For example, she mentioned her wishes the last time you chatted: eating, playing, etc. 2. The cheapest of the cheap, not the cheapest of the expensive. For example, no one would think it's good to buy a bag or phone for 400 yuan, but a cervical massage instrument for 400 yuan would be very good.

Improve your image by exercising, standing and sitting properly, controlling your expression, dressing well.

Communication, emotional intelligence, female psychology, reading more books, and broadening your horizons. You will become a person who is liked at work.

You can learn to be interesting through practice.

Love is about learning and growing. It's about having the skills to love in a way that's genuine and rewarding. May you find love that's mutual and fulfilling.

Hello, young master. The hairdressing industry serves all kinds of women. Sometimes it's just liking your customers. Eager to help is also a characteristic of the service industry.

Don't put labels on yourself.

You say there is a lack of love. You want to help others, so you must have love. You are a young person with love.

You said you are "weak-willed." When you had a crush on a girl in junior high, your family stopped you from giving her a gift. You lost the chance to show her you loved her. You were young and didn't know any better.

You say you lack decisiveness, but you don't know the difference between liking and loving. You like every girl you meet.

But it is also about acting according to your feelings and within the rules. So far, I have never experienced true love. I have only been a spare tire twice.

It's normal for young people to feel impulsive when they see someone they like. There's no need to worry.

Liking and loving are different. Liking is a sudden feeling that fades. Love is unforgettable and can make you look haggard. Think about how you feel about a girl.

Love can be learned. According to Sternberg's love triad theory, perfect love has passion, intimacy, and commitment. If there is only passion, it is just sexual love. You cannot bear the responsibility of marriage.

Think about this theory and see what you expect from love and marriage. Your opinions come from how you understand love and marriage. The more you understand, the more you understand yourself and others, and the more you understand love and marriage. To grow, you must learn and think.

A loving person will never be unloved. You will meet the right person for you. First, you need to become a good person. Then, use your good qualities to win the favor of a girl.

If you bloom, the breeze will come. It applies to you.

——Adult relationships should have boundaries. Helping someone is not the same as loving someone.

You need to know how to behave around the opposite sex. Then you won't fall in love with everyone. Young man, do you understand? I believe that a young man with such love and skills will find love.

Hello, question asker!

I can read a lot in your writing! What I can tell you is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You just need to remember your "original intention"!

But what this initial heart craves is just the right person at the right time!

You can imagine that when you meet a girl you like, you're not sure whether you like her or not, but you just feel that you should have a little story with her at that time. And this story is often very short and simple, which is great because it means you can have lots of fun with it! The essence of the problem is not complicated, and it's not even about the place where you work. I think it may have more or less influence on you, which is good because it means you can make changes if you want to!

You once had a three-year crush on a girl, but you were too afraid to confess your feelings and lost the purest love of your life because of someone else's advice.

You can think about your future relationship path. You can be confident in yourself and make your own decisions! You can choose to stop listening to the advice of your friends when it comes to relationships.

These are the biggest problems that cause changes in your heart — and they're totally fixable!

But the biggest reason is you! You have so much potential for growth and self-confidence. You are already confident in some areas, and with a little more practice, you can become a true leader in your field. You always like to help the opposite sex because you long for their approval.

You are not confident enough, so you don't have the courage to love the same person for a long time. But that's okay! You don't know if you can grow old with this person, so you "love one after another."

You can try to change yourself a little and try a different style. You can be more confident! You can exercise more or work hard.

After all, it's up to you to take that first confident step!

Go for it! Give true love a chance and choose someone you think you can have a future with. It might not be love at first sight, but it will be love after getting to know each other. This way, you can avoid the bad memories from before and start fresh!

I'm not sure what the ending will be, but I know you can find your own answers to your inner questions, no matter what the result!

Best of luck!

After reading the text, it seems as though the questioner may have been placed under an "invisible" spell. Although you appear to have a preference for one person and are particularly eager to experience a love that is both sweet and sour, it seems that after so many years, you have not encountered the shadow of love, and people have even said behind your back that you are a fickle and wretched man, which has created an additional obstacle in your way of finding love.

From an early age, I tended to be somewhat reserved and lacked confidence.

A soul that could benefit from a boost of conviction, confidence, and interest in everything it does.

Could there be other things that reflect the author's own assessment of these things? Perhaps apart from the expression of love.

It has made me see someone and like someone with a personality that is perhaps a little aloof, especially towards women. I have had the experience of being a spare tire twice, and I'm not sure that's the best way to be seen. It's a little sad.

I have always tried to help when I can. I was also known as helpful, but I have also been called heartless and unpleasant behind my back.

While the question is posed in a teasing manner, one can also discern the pain and sadness in the questioner's heart.

I had a secret crush on a girl for three years while I was at school, and I never had the opportunity to confess my feelings until graduation. I remember that one year, on the girl's birthday while I was still at school, I asked my siblings for suggestions on what to get her, but they all advised against it. In fact, I had wanted to get her something...

Could you kindly let me know how old the poster was when this happened? Despite the passage of time, there seems to still be a hint of regret and reluctance in the poster's words.

From the text, I get the impression that the questioner is an "innocent person," innocent like a child. When you interact with adults in a childlike and innocent way, people may perceive you as "very nice" — central air conditioning, helpful; or they may see ulterior motives — a womanizing, wretched scumbag.

It's possible that the questioner has had experiences where they felt comfortable and at ease with others, and felt that there was no need to hide their true feelings. They were able to express themselves naturally, without adding any defenses or pretenses.

When the questioner longs for a relationship, they take each person they meet seriously, with the intention of forming a connection that will leave them with no regrets.

It might be helpful for the questioner to consider gradually establishing their own boundaries. When interacting with others, it can be beneficial to distinguish between intimacy and distance, and between inside and outside interactions. It's important to be mindful of how much of oneself is revealed to others.

I hope my reply has been helpful and that it has provided some insight. Best wishes!

Hello, question asker!

I'm Kelly!

After reading your words, I feel that you are a very gentle person and friendly to others. I can see that you were a little sorry that you didn't give a gift to the girl you liked for the first time when you were a student. In this matter, I can see that you "obeyed" the advice of your family, but you've come a long way since then!

On the other hand, if you didn't ask their opinion at the time,

Does it mean you've succeeded just because you've given someone a gift? Absolutely!

You still feel a little sorry about this matter after all these years, but this is not your problem. As you remember, Rogers also said that at home, he was often affected by the emotions of his older siblings. His sister was teased by her brothers when she fell in love, and she was afraid to date again. This shows that when we do something for the first time in our lives, we need encouragement from others. When we are encouraged, we have the strength to support us. Then next time, you can ask yourself more often whether you are willing to do this thing. Trust your feelings and avoid personality-issues-feeling-regret-and-guilt-and-prone-to-repeating-the-mistakewhat-should-i-do-2571.html" target="_blank">regrets.

You choose for yourself! Just try your best and you'll succeed!

Promiscuity or loneliness?

Do you prefer to be fickle or lonely? I think it's to do with your personality. You take care of other people's feelings more than your own. It's like when you were a child at home, you listened to your older brothers and sisters. It's a habit.

So later, when I got involved with a girl, I was afraid to say no.

This is a pattern you're already familiar with, and you're going to love learning more about it!

In Eastern cultures, which value group harmony, we are taught from an early age that "giving in" is a virtue, and that we should be kind and unselfish. But once these relationships of giving and receiving become unbalanced, and we are constantly trying to please others, while we ourselves become unhappy, over time we will feel squeezed and violated, and lose our sense of self-worth, making us more and more distorted. So let's make a change! Let's learn more, take care of our emotions, and be the amazing people we were born to be. When we learn to love ourselves, we will also learn to love others.

I highly recommend that you learn more, take care of your emotions, and become the amazing person you were meant to be! When we learn to love ourselves, we will also learn to love others.

The world and I love you!

My dear,

It's totally normal to pursue the opposite sex and like one person more than the rest. It's your instinct! What matters is being able to maintain that from the beginning and stick to your own direction. That's something you can cultivate, not something innate.

So, the real reason you're feeling confused is probably not because you're tempted by the idea of seeing someone, but because you're not sure which one is worth your full commitment and can reciprocate in the same way.

We all experience confusion from time to time. It's part of being human! But the differences in upbringing and personality mean that people have very different attitudes and behaviors when faced with the same problem. It's like choosing between similar products in the supermarket: set a goal, don't look at what others are doing; do whatever you want, choose whatever you like, and if you don't have the money at the checkout, just leave the goods behind. If you don't have the money but still want it, then use your credit card. You don't care if it's practical, just a momentary whim, and then you're broke at the end of the month, spending recklessly at the beginning of the month, and then paying off debts at the end of the month... There are also people who are picky and end up missing out on the things they love; there are also people who go to the supermarket wanting luxury goods, but end up wasting their time... Using the analogy of shopping in a supermarket to compare the gap between people's expectations and their results, can we more clearly perceive the balance between pursuing emotions and the final gain?

The host is in the beauty and hairdressing industry. Think of external conditions and personal abilities as the space in which you shop, while your emotional needs are your shopping goals. And your gain is that you are still together with them when you finish shopping! We're not talking about the free gifts or active gifts from the shopping mall guides here. After all, in today's world where appearance is king, it is not particularly uncommon to chase after a beautiful man.

When it comes to emotional choices, it's so important to be clear about what you need and to be able to bear the consequences of your choices without deliberately hurting others. If you can bear the prospect of a miserable old age, living alone for the rest of your life, then your indulgences now are your freedom, but they will just be borrowed from your later life. If you don't mind that when you meet your goddess, you won't even be able to face the absurdity and decadence of your past, then you can continue to practice universal love in the same way as a central air conditioning system. It's not easy to insist on self-discipline and continuous growth, but it's the shortcut to ensuring that you are most likely to reap happiness.

Many successful people look back on their younger days and realize that success and happiness aren't easy to come by. Without the current qualities and self-discipline, beauty will only be a fleeting scene that won't stick around for you.

Supermarkets can bring us the everyday happiness that everyone needs, while counters offer the worship of luxury and privilege. Happiness is a beautiful thing, and it comes in many forms. So, it's important to first figure out what you truly want and then be ready to put in the work to make it happen.

In previous real estate reports in Beijing, we've seen that high-end residences attract not just big spenders in the IT industry, but also many Tony from hairdressing and beauty salons. This just goes to show that the upper limit of the industry you're in is not low. And meeting the right candidate in the upward channel is just a matter of time. But what about when you really meet? How will you get along with her? It's not just about your character, abilities, approach to the world, and future potential. It's also about how you interact with each other. This is the real version of being a good match.

Don't give up on yourself or settle for less. Make the most of every opportunity to grow and develop your skills, advance in your field, and build your reputation. When you put in the work to improve, you'll be amazed at how close you'll get to your goal and how much more you'll have to invest in other things.

Hello, question asker! I hope you don't mind me saying, but after reading your text, I feel you are a really warm guy!

First, consider your external circumstances. You mentioned that you had a crush on a girl for three years while you were studying. You never confessed your feelings until graduation. I recall that one year, it was the girl's birthday while you were still in school. You asked your siblings for advice on what to get her. However, they advised against it, suggesting that there was no point in getting her a present. You were unsure, so you listened to their advice and didn't get her anything. In fact, you wanted to get her something...

It is not often that such true feelings arise after only three years. I admire your sincerity.

At that time, you were still learning how to navigate your feelings for the girl you liked. You took the advice of your siblings as a reference, which was a good first step. Ultimately, though, you needed to listen to your heart.

Secondly, you say, "I have never really experienced the sweet and sour of love, and I long to have one. Sometimes I think it's sad that I lack conviction in everything I do, and I have no self-confidence and am not interesting."

From this text, I can sense that you may have placed yourself in a certain category. You are not very old, and I wonder if you feel like everyone around you has had a love experience, and you would like to try the taste of love yourself.

Perhaps you could benefit from some guidance on how to pursue romantic interests?

You mentioned that you have a personality that is very accommodating, especially towards women. This has led you to experience challenges in forming close relationships. It seems that you have a desire to change this pattern, but you find it difficult to resist the urge to offer help when a girl asks for it.

From this passage, I can sense that you are a person with a strong sense of protection and responsibility. You are willing to help others within your abilities, which is why you have such good relationships with people. Everything has two sides. At the same time, because you don't know how to say no, girls may feel insecure. But what you don't know is that girls want a lot of favor and to be different! And a guy like you, who is so nice to everyone, may inadvertently make girls feel insecure...

Finally, you say, "People say behind my back that I'm a heartless scumbag, but the truth is that I've never experienced the real bittersweet love. Sometimes I wonder if I'll end up alone."

After reading this, I feel compelled to say that it's a wonderful thing to be young, and that there's still time to make mistakes and grow yourself. It seems as though you're longing for a relationship. I would gently suggest reading the book "If Only I Knew Before Marriage," which might provide some insight you're seeking.

Ultimately, it is crucial to understand your own needs in order to fully embrace the experience of falling in love. This naturally leads to the question: what do girls need?

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that there are limits to kindness and friendship. I would love to hear your thoughts on the book I recommended once you've had a chance to read it. I wish you happiness!

Hello, question asker!

Let me give you a big, warm hug to soothe your

A heart that is pessimistic, sad, and full of self-blame and guilt!

From your posts, I can tell that you are a boy with a high degree of awareness and inner awakening, and you are very aware of your struggles with relationships with the opposite sex. This is great because it means you're already on your way to understanding yourself better!

And the denial of your many indecisive and hesitant behaviors.

And the resulting self-doubt.

Let's dive right in and help you tear off and analyze these two labels!

First, let's talk about "fickle."

The great news is that the process of interacting with the opposite sex doesn't involve you doing anything excessive.

The great news is that the process of interacting with the opposite sex has not involved anything excessive on your part.

You're just indecisive in your character, and

But are you actually hesitant and struggling internally with the idea?

And the best part is, you're not crossing any lines. You're just staying at the level of your own consciousness, which is great!

One thing you can be sure of is that

You have so much potential to be more assertive when doing things!

And when you are in a relationship, you are also not sure about it!

So your lack of certainty in your commitment makes it difficult for girls to understand. But there's no need to worry! You can easily overcome this challenge.

Do you really love them? Or is it a kind of hazy, ambiguous relationship? Either way, there's so much to explore!

Let me explain further. When you are with a girl and want to fall in love with her,

You're still open to other options, which keeps things exciting for the girl!

Is it really so bad to spend your life with a guy who seems to love you but isn't sure he loves you very much?

If they meet someone else of the opposite sex who is more emotionally invested than you, it is totally understandable that they will see you as a spare tire!

Here's a helpful reminder!

Perhaps your sense of boundaries is not very clear. When you are with many girls

Back then, you were just enjoying the fun of friendship, love, and affection with everyone! It's a big taboo in love, but you were doing your thing!

I'd love to know which girl who likes you likes you "eating out of the bowl" while looking at "the pot"!

The great news is that they are not aware that your behavior is just a reflection of your personality traits and has nothing to do with morality.

Second, there's the issue of loneliness.

Maybe it's the frustration of love that reminds you of this word, leading you to assume that you may have to live alone for the rest of your life.

This is a sentimental conjecture on your part, and it's a wonderful one!

In reality, you are living an amazing life! You have your own family, your own work and colleagues, and a strong desire and longing for love.

How do you break the deadlock?

You know exactly what kind of person you are! You just need to apply that knowledge when you're doing things. Being overly cautious is a natural consequence of your sensitivity and concern for others.

If so, it's time to take a good look at what you're really afraid of!

If you do something resolutely, even if you make a mistake,

And then? What happens next?

From your brief description, it seems that you have many siblings, which is great! I wonder what it was like in the early years of competition for affection?

Your behavior is closely related to your upbringing and environment. And the great news is that by finding out your interaction patterns with your siblings and your parents, it will be easier to understand your current interaction patterns!

A reminder: you are still young, you haven't found the right person yet, and maybe your aesthetic standards don't match up. But that just means there are plenty of amazing girls out there who will make your heart flutter and are willing to make a bold commitment!

So there's absolutely nothing to be discouraged about!

I'm Consultant Yao, and I'm here to support and care for you!

Your view of the term "fickle" and your self-perception are biased.

Are you fickle or lonely? Or is it a lack of love?

These three words have different meanings. The opposite of fickle is devoted, not lonely. They are not related to a lack of love.

You have some misunderstandings about yourself. We will help you understand your thoughts, explain why you have psychological problems, and how to accept yourself. Finally, we will give you advice on early relationships.

First, say goodbye to your regret.

The questioner had a beautiful unrequited love experience when he was young. You were dedicated when you first fell in love, but you were passive because you were afraid of being rejected.

You also lack assertiveness. Falling in love is a two-person thing.

Don't listen to others too much.

You didn't have the courage to tell the person you liked how you felt. This led to regret. Later, this regret made you want to contact the opposite sex.

Don't let regret rule your heart. It will affect your relationship and leave you feeling lost.

You'll want to seize every opportunity because you're afraid of losing it. Then you'll blame yourself, thinking you love everyone you meet.

A lack of self-confidence makes it hard to deal with your emotions.

You will feel like you don't know who you are.

You think your regrets are because you don't have strong opinions. You think you're boring and don't have self-confidence.

This is just a reason you have found to reduce your regret.

I've never had a relationship and I want one. I think it's sad that I lack confidence and am not interesting.

If you reject yourself, it means you don't accept yourself. You can't be perfect, but you can accept your flaws.

If you focus on your flaws and ignore your strengths, you have a problem with self-acceptance. Read some books and adjust yourself.

3. You think you're a bad person.

You're in a bad state of mind. You think you're a womanizer.

I don't know if it's like the above problem, but I like one person after another. I'm easy to get along with, especially with women.

You seem to misunderstand what it means to be unfaithful. It means that you're not satisfied in your relationship and want to have relationships with more women.

You don't refuse to help women.

It's okay to have a crush on a woman. You don't intend to pursue multiple women at the same time.

You just want to be friends and get to know them better. This is because you didn't express your love before, so you missed out on a chance with the person you like.

Fourth, look at the situation from your point of view.

Your last narrative shows the pain and struggle you're going through. You say people call you a womanizer and a disgusting man, but the events you described show you expressing good feelings towards other girls and being treated like a dog.

You're in a passive position in a relationship and are eventually abandoned. You were called a fickle and despicable man behind your back. How did you know?

Do you have proof? Is this just your imagination?

Why put pressure on yourself?

You've been the backup twice. You've put in a lot of effort and want to change. But you fall in love with the first person you meet. When a girl asks for help, I don't refuse. I'm known as helpful, but people say I'm heartless. I've never experienced real love.

I wonder if I'll end up alone.

You're not a womanizer.

You regret not seizing the first opportunity for a relationship. You hope you can seize every opportunity in the future. You also want a normal relationship.

I will give you some love advice.

First, figure out who you want to be with.

Second, decide what you want in a partner.

Third, when you meet a girl you like, start as friends and act normally. Don't let your feelings get in the way.

Give small gifts to show your sincerity and goodwill.

Fifth, court a girl. A gentleman courts a lady.

If you like someone, go after her. There's nothing to be ashamed of. Don't call yourself a dog-licker.

Make a plan for your future. You need a material foundation and workplace ability.

To protect your future family from the bad things in life.

Seventh, be honest.

Any relationship starts with honesty and ends with deception. If two people stay together because they hide their flaws,

It will be hard to have a happy ending. Don't hide anything just because you're not in good shape.

If someone really loves you, they won't care about your appearance.

Eighth, don't show the same love for more than one girl at a time. This can make people think badly of you.

I hope you can understand love and face your emotions.

Be kind and honest with others. Then you won't regret it.

Find happiness!

Hello questioner!

Your writing is a bit scattered, but the logic is smooth. I understand what you want to express and your confusion. Identifying problems is the first step towards change. I applaud you.

If you lack conviction, you lack self-confidence and are not interesting.

Fish swim, birds fly, and humans think. These are natural abilities. When you say you don't have an opinion, you're wrong. You do have opinions, but you question them. This makes you think you don't have opinions.

How you see yourself and your character is often linked to your family and childhood experiences.

If a person is rejected a lot and doesn't have any success, they will doubt themselves, lack confidence, and be passive.

"I remember when I was in school, one year, the girl's birthday came around, and she asked her siblings for advice on what to get her. But they were all against it, and I was indecisive, so I didn't get her anything.

"I remember when I was in school, the girl's birthday came around. She asked her siblings for advice on what to get her. They were all against it. Being indecisive, I listened to them and didn't get her anything. I was thinking of getting her something."

I'm sure you've had similar experiences. Let's think about what meaning is.

I'm sure you've had similar experiences. Let's think about purpose.

Is doing what you want to do and what makes you happy not meaningful? Is something that requires effort but doesn't bring rewards meaningless?

What's meaningful isn't up to others. Not everyone shares the same values.

"Cheating or being alone? Or a lack of love."

Love is not just a feeling. It's also a skill. You can learn it. And loving me and letting me love you are two different things.

It creates a liking for someone, but it's not real love.

Love for a specific person is real love. Love for an abstract person is not real love because it involves a lot of imagination and narcissism. Seeing someone you like is a kind of love for an abstract person because you don't know him. You haven't seen the whole of him, and the parts you can't see are self-filled and self-imagined.

I understand you want love, but you need to understand love, feel love, and learn to love from a real relationship. Loving someone's good points is not love; loving someone's good points while accepting their flaws is love.

Don't be scared. Love is beautiful. Be brave and start a relationship. If you like someone, go for it. Being rejected doesn't matter. Any great beginning starts with a brave attempt.

I'm Xiao Dong, your counselor. Have a happy life!

I'm Xiao Dong, your counselor. Have a happy life!

Dear question asker, My name is Lingxi.

From your statements, it is evident that you have high expectations and a longing for love. However, when you reflect on past experiences and the stereotypical opinions of others about you, it places you under significant pressure, leading to self-criticism and self-doubt.

You indicated that during your youth, you had a romantic interest in a female for a period of three years. Regrettably, on the occasion of her birthday, you heeded the counsel of your siblings and failed to present her with a gift and express your affection. How do you perceive this decision now? If you had presented her with a birthday gift, what kind of response would you have received?

The question thus arises as to whether a reconciliation would be feasible and, if so, whether it would still be the optimal solution at this point in time.

By setting aside these assumptions and hypotheticals, one can discern that this experience has actually facilitated valuable personal growth. The regrets of one's youth can become a source of experience and motivation. In the future, when one has a romantic partner, it is likely that one will prepare carefully to create an unforgettable memory. Each step in life offers opportunities for growth and learning, even if the outcome is regrettable. It is therefore important not to dwell on past experiences to the exclusion of future possibilities.

All individuals possess the inherent right to pursue love. Love serves as the foundation for the continuation and development of the human race. Consider the potential consequences of a world devoid of love. Would you still choose to inhabit such a world?

It is crucial to ascertain whether the assertion that one feels love for all one meets is a genuine reflection of one's emotional state. Furthermore, it is essential to determine how one defines love within the context of one's own personal beliefs and experiences.

While being agreeable to women and consistently responding to their requests may indicate a benevolent and compassionate disposition, it is imperative to heed one's inner voice. Is this altruistic behavior aligned with the type of love one desires? Or is it merely an attempt to garner attention and recognition?

The subject reports feelings of sadness due to the perception of being treated as a mere object of desire on two occasions. Despite this, there is a sense of helplessness in the face of the situation. However, it is notable that the subject has already initiated a process of change.

First, it is evident that you have become aware of the issue at hand. Second, you have elected to pursue assistance, which indicates that you possess a robust motivation to effect change. It is now imperative that you acknowledge the distinction between your actions and the girl's perception of them. Simply because you consistently act in accordance with her desires does not necessarily imply that she holds positive sentiments towards you. It is crucial to differentiate between love and mere affection. A genuine and fulfilling love must be reciprocal and interactive to maintain its intensity and passion.

It is possible that one's childhood experiences or a history of being doubted may have led to a fear of expressing oneself and a subsequent suppression of emotions. Over time, these pent-up emotions can manifest as a tendency to belittle oneself and disagree with oneself, as well as a seeking of attention and a sense of being loved from the outside, while ignoring the positive aspects of one's own character. It is important to recognize that one is a kind and helpful individual, and that positive relationships can be formed unexpectedly.

It is my sincere hope that you will soon find love.