Same-sex lovers, broke up with the ex-girlfriend, feeling really bad now, what should I do?

It's totally understandable to feel concerned about what was said. It's like, "Oh my gosh, you can't be together because of you?" and "What? A certain classmate doesn't like you?" It seems like these comments are all pointing the finger at you. Who is this certain classmate, and why does he or she have so much power?

It's totally normal to feel sad when you break up. It's also important to take some time to think about what you really need. Do you still have some questions about each other?

For example, you might want to think about the reason for your breakup, whether you have a secure attachment pattern, whether you will be affected by this breakup, and whether friend X, who doesn't like you, can influence your love. It can be seen that there are still some complications here, but you've already taken the first step by asking these questions.

Your anger and grievances are the keys to your journey of self-discovery. Take some time to reflect on your actions. Do you still want to maintain the friendship? Do you still need to talk to that X? Is she still influencing your relationship?

It's so important to find out the truth, especially if your ex-girlfriend had no backbone and did everything according to other people's wishes. You deserve to know the truth, and you can also let go of them and find a new circle of friends. It's all up to you. I really recommend that you go for a psychological consultation during this time, so that you can try to love yourself and live your life the way you want. Good luck!

ZQ?

Hello!

Host:

I read the post and felt the sadness. The poster is brave to seek help. This will help him understand himself and his ex-girlfriend. He can then adjust and become a better person.

I will also share my thoughts, which might help the original poster understand the situation better.

Comparisons can damage self-esteem.

From the post, I can see that the poster broke up with his ex-girlfriend and was concerned about the sentence "Because my friend X doesn't like you, we can't be together." I think I would care too.

It means she thinks I'm less important than X.

Is this something you say when breaking up? It hurts.

Interpersonal relationships reflect who we are. You say you won't be with me because X doesn't like me. This means I'm not as important to you as X.

I am not as good as X. Even though I am better than X, if we agree with what the ex-girlfriend said, then our self-esteem will be damaged. It is normal to feel angry and aggrieved. Let's embrace this anger and frustration!

2. Let yourself feel sad.

When we're sad or wronged, we want to escape.

This is human instinct. It's also a way of not accepting sadness and injustice.

If you resist, it may be more painful. I don't know if the original poster has ever had insomnia. Sometimes you want to sleep but can't.

Sometimes, trying to escape these emotions makes them worse. What if we accept them? If we understand why we're sad or angry, can we turn these emotions into motivation to learn?

Grow yourself. Emotions are just messengers.

We know what we need through our emotions. We also understand ourselves better, so we can be happier.

3. Relationships are between two people.

The original poster mentioned that he didn't know how to handle his relationship with his ex-girlfriend and was thinking that having one more friend would mean more options. There is nothing wrong with this way of thinking, but we also need to realize that relationships are a matter of two people.

The original poster should maintain some normal social distance and not force himself too much.

If you don't feel comfortable, learn to take care of yourself. You can even distance yourself to treat yourself kindly.

Keeping your distance doesn't mean the other person isn't good enough. It just means you don't feel good when you're with them. You are responsible for your feelings.

Take care of yourself.

I hope these words help the poster. I am Zeng Chen, a certified psychosynthesis coach.

Good day.

From your description, it appears that you have reservations about identifying as gay.

It is also important to note that your desire for a relationship is evident. While a romantic relationship may not be feasible, maintaining a friendship is a positive step. Your interest in this individual demonstrates your commitment to building a meaningful connection.

A teacher once suggested that all homosexuals should consider the following: if you are attracted to a person of the same sex and are comfortable in this relationship, you may wish to use this person as a role model. You can look at the qualities you admire in this person, his high achievements, and his special strengths and use them as a role model for yourself, as a direction for yourself to move forward, as a goal for yourself.

In this kind of relationship, you can provide yourself with a valuable guide and example of personal practice, which can help us to achieve better and further results.

Please indicate your current age. Are you still in school, or have you graduated and started working in society? Regarding this question of your sexual orientation, we advise that you seek professional help and assessment, as the matter may be more complex than you realize. It may be the first step in a larger process.

If necessary, professional assistance can help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself and return to your most authentic self, which is beneficial for personal growth and success.

In this relationship, your attitude is also worthy of recognition. You can foster connections with them and gradually enhance your interpersonal skills.

Dear Question Asker,

I observed your inquiry on the digital forum and empathize with your situation. You have terminated your romantic relationship with your partner, and it is understandable that you are experiencing a range of emotions, including sadness. It is therefore recommended that you take some time to process your feelings.

It appears that the dissolution of the relationship was conducted in a relatively amicable manner. The individual in question indicated that they did not experience any emotional distress during the separation and did not have any objections to the circumstances. They recognized the significant emotional support that was provided by the former partner throughout the relationship and recalled numerous positive experiences together. Given the circumstances, it is understandable that the individual would desire a cordial separation. This is a common occurrence in romantic relationships.

The issue arises from the fact that your former romantic partner indicated during the dissolution of the relationship that the reason for this was the influence of a mutual friend who was not supportive of the relationship. This has led to feelings of distress and suspicion that the dissolution of the relationship was motivated by a desire to avoid accountability. However, you are experiencing a profound sense of anger and injustice.

What is the appropriate course of action in this situation?

1. I would first like to inquire whether your current emotional state is primarily a result of the dissolution of the relationship, or whether it is influenced by the statements she made during the dissolution. Are you distressed by the quality of the relationship you had with her?

Alternatively, might your anger be directed at her for her evasive and irresponsible behavior? It is possible that she may have terminated the relationship simply because another friend suggested that she do so, without considering your feelings.

2. If the latter is the case, it is to be expected that feelings of anger, sadness, and injustice would ensue. Given that he has chosen to terminate the relationship, it is reasonable to conclude that your role in his life has effectively come to an end. This raises the question of what your relationship meant to him and what it signifies in his life.

Moreover, it is uncommon for individuals who have genuinely loved each other to remain friends after a breakup. Therefore, there is no need to actively attempt to maintain the friendship; it will likely evolve naturally over time.

3. If she has truly made up her mind, it is even less likely that you can force her to change her mind. If you are uncertain about the reason behind her determination to end the relationship, you can inquire further about the underlying cause. You can also express your current thoughts and feelings. It is important to remember that women are more emotionally expressive than men. When asking her about the reason for the breakup, it is advisable to remain calm and avoid scolding her. If the relationship is truly beyond repair, you may have to accept the separation, even if it is difficult. However, understanding the real reason for the breakup can facilitate the healing process. It is also important to consider the possibility of salvaging the relationship. Initiating a conversation with her could be beneficial.

The question thus arises as to how one might overcome a romantic separation and adjust one's emotional state.

1. If one has done nothing wrong and is nevertheless forced to endure the pain of separation, it is important to recognize that this pain is not a result of one's own actions. Regardless of the nature of the relationship, separation is inevitable. However, same-sex love is often accompanied by a heightened level of emotional distress. It is essential to acknowledge these feelings, rather than rejecting or denying them. Accepting these emotions sincerely and fully is an important step in the process of healing. Accepting the reality of the breakup and preparing to face the pain of losing love can facilitate a more rapid recovery.

2. It is a widely acknowledged fact that being heartbroken is an extremely painful experience, and that everyone who has experienced such a situation will inevitably go through a challenging period. This is to be expected. It is therefore recommended that you identify a trusted individual with whom you can discuss your feelings, express your frustrations, and receive emotional support. In the event that you are unable to overcome your feelings, it may be beneficial to seek the guidance of a professional counselor.

3. It is important to allow oneself to experience grief and sadness during this period. There is no need to suppress these feelings, nor to pretend that everything is fine. Instead, it is essential to follow one's heart and to release these emotions in a healthy manner.

4. To truly return to one's previous state, it is recommended to seek out the assistance and companionship of genuine friends, engage in activities that one enjoys, take walks, observe one's surroundings, and engage in physical exercise when appropriate. This will help to distract one from one's current state of mind.

There are numerous methods for achieving this, which can be trialed and selected according to personal preference. It is advised that one should attempt to elevate their mood as soon as possible, as the distress associated with a broken heart can be mitigated by the passage of time. This process may take between one and six months.

It is my sincere hope that this response is of some assistance to you. I extend my warmest regards to you and to the world at large.

Hello, question asker. I can tell you're feeling down. Let me give you a hug and cheer you up.

1.

No matter what kind of relationship you have, whether it's between a man and a woman, you need to maintain it with your heart. If you're still thinking about how long the relationship can last, worldly prejudices, or moral issues, etc., while you're with your partner, that's proof you haven't figured it out yet, or you're not purely gay or purely lesbian. You just love each other.

2.

Love? It's often like a phoenix rising from the ashes. After being refined by death, the soul becomes purer, and love is elevated to a new level.

Your optimism will help you get out of a rut and start anew. Optimism itself will make the love between you and your partner a success.

3.

Empathy is key in any relationship. If you can understand each other and are willing to devote yourself to the other person, it'll make your relationship stronger.

4.

It's important to enhance your own charm. We all have room for improvement, and that's okay! Accept your own imperfections and work hard to improve yourself. We're all growing and learning in the midst of challenges.

5.

I suggest you read a book on self-growth. I think you'll see a big improvement after reading it.

At the very least, you'll gain a better understanding of yourself and the world around you.

I wish you all the best! I hope you find my suggestions helpful and inspiring.