Should I choose to be a stepmother? Should I insist on not having sex before marriage?

Good day.

From your inquiry, it is evident that you have reservations about engaging in sexual intercourse before marriage. Additionally, you have observed that the men in your vicinity do not appear to be reliable, which has influenced your decision. I empathize with your sentiments.

Given your reservations about your own beliefs and ideas, it is important to recognize that everyone's ideas are shaped by themselves, including the notion that we do not permit premarital sex. If we learn to assert our boundaries and stand firm in our beliefs, this is an achievable goal. When entering into an intimate relationship, it is essential to assess whether the other person is trustworthy and if they are ready to enter into a marital relationship. What is the purpose of entering into a marital relationship?

My recommendation is as follows:

(1) Provide a concise overview of the rationale behind entering into a marital partnership.

It is important to recognise that everyone's definition and needs for marriage are different. It is therefore helpful to consider your own purpose for entering into marriage. This could be to have children, to find someone you love, or simply to live a stable life together.

(2) There is no issue with adhering to one's own ideas.

It is important to recognize that everyone has their own set of values and principles. It is perfectly acceptable to hold different views on matters such as premarital sex. It is essential to distinguish between personal beliefs and the opinions of others. Others are simply other people's perspectives. In some cases, individuals may have different preferences based on their personal circumstances. For instance, men may have a stronger inclination towards maintaining guanxi, given the perceived advantages outweighing the potential drawbacks. It is important to respect these differences and not impose one's personal views on others.

(3) Determine the significance of intimacy to yourself.

It is important to recognize that everyone has a different view of intimacy. It is essential to consider the nature of the relationship between the individual and the potential partner. This includes evaluating the extent of the individual's involvement with their previous family, as well as potential future implications. A thorough analysis of these factors is crucial. In terms of the pros and cons, it is my professional opinion that this particular individual may not be the most suitable choice. On the one hand, he is leaving behind a significant number of commitments, which may limit the level of involvement and support he can provide. On the other hand, he still has numerous responsibilities related to his previous family, which could pose challenges in maintaining a healthy and stable relationship. It is essential to understand the significance of intimacy and to assess whether this level of intimacy aligns with your personal and professional needs.

(4) Exercise sound judgment and discernment.

It is not always possible to discern a person's character accurately. However, when entering into a marital relationship, it is likely that the true character of the individual will become apparent. Some people may attempt to deceive others by presenting a false persona. Therefore, it is essential to develop the ability to analyse a person's character in detail and make a rational decision based on their actions.

It is also important to recognise that relationships require two people to work together and understand each other. It is beneficial to consider the advantages and disadvantages of such relationships, to reflect on your experiences, to develop a positive self-image and to pursue personal growth.

Best regards,

Dear Question Asker,

I extend to you a warm embrace. I am a 34-year-old divorcee with no children. I made the decision not to engage in sexual intercourse before marriage. When presented with the prospect of a romantic interest who appeared to possess "decent" attributes, I experienced a degree of hesitation regarding the prospect of becoming a stepmother. However, I did not subject the other person to a thorough examination to ascertain their suitability as a life partner. I am genuinely saddened by your situation. I urge you to reconsider your self-deprecating attitude.

I must inquire as to the nature of the Madonna complex that would lead you to accept a man who is nearly fifty, leaving his family with nothing, has three minor children, has betrayed his wife, and does not know how to behave. Was it simply his group message of good morning that moved you, or was it his help with your career and family that touched you?

I would like to inquire with the questioner whether, after presenting their bottom line, the respondent will continue to respond to their every need without sending greetings. Has the respondent made their desire to marry the questioner clear?

Do you recall the line from the film "All Is Well"? The language may be somewhat colloquial, but what are your expectations of him?

Is it because of his age or hygiene habits? Is it because of his ability to satisfy your physical or spiritual needs?

Does he have a fortune or a royal title? The typical progression for a woman in this situation is to get married, become a mother, satisfy her Madonna complex, and take her husband's surname, which is often considered the most supreme and honorable of all.

Please accept my apologies for my forthrightness and understand my pain. I am also a woman who has experienced the failure of marriage. I am keenly aware of the challenges women face. Because I have been in the same situation, I want to extend a helping hand to you. Only a woman will help another woman.

Please explain why you are so eager for love.

The questioner has experienced a failed marriage, and I wonder if she has gained a deeper understanding of her views on marriage and her expectations of herself. It is often said that divorce does not solve any problems, but it will bring about more problems. This is really true. The disappointment you experienced in your previous marriage will lead you to mistakenly believe that you have met the wrong person. You will feel that if you find the right person to love, then love will be right. This is really a big mistake.

A significant event such as remarriage is taking place, yet there is no indication of the family's involvement in the questioner's description. Have the family members been informed? How did they respond, and what was their opinion?

From this, I can infer that the inquirer has consistently demonstrated independence, strength, and entrepreneurial spirit. She is undoubtedly a formidable individual in the eyes of the world. However, I believe there is a vulnerable and sensitive aspect to her personality that craves care and affection. The law of love cannot be traded for what one perceives as a loss of status or an excess of giving.

[Nurturing your inner child]

Your age and marital status are not valid reasons to hasten the decision to marry. Similarly, a strong physical desire is not a reliable indicator of suitability for marriage. The pleasure you anticipate may be limited to the oral or anal phase. Your inner emptiness may be driven by a desire to satisfy your physical needs.

The questioner should consider whether they are ready to raise their inner child personally, rather than focusing on the decision of becoming a stepmother. I advise the questioner to read Cong Fei Cong's book "Raising Your Inner Child" to gain insight into the underlying reasons for their desire for love and the limitations of achieving it.

These behaviors, including seeing, being there for, understanding, responding, paying attention to, valuing, respecting, recognizing, accepting, and supporting, are all expressions of intimacy. What lies behind the feeling of intimacy?

Closeness is a means of satisfying our perceived deficiencies. Intimacy is about merging and becoming a better person through the influence of others.

Closeness is idealized, with the underlying assumption that one party is stronger than the other. This man simply sends a message every morning asking how you are, and you feel that he values you. Could the truth be that this is a habit used by Aquaman to raise fish?

A person may feel deprived as a result of parental treatment during their formative years, which may have contributed to a lack of self-sufficiency.

The parents' generation had their limitations, which were a distinct mark of the times. It is also possible that they were imitating the way their own parents raised their children. This is understandable and forgivable, but when we become adults, we need to take responsibility for ourselves and become fully self-sufficient through learning.

If we persist in seeking a "perfect mother" in others and forego self-nurturing, we will inevitably face repeated challenges and setbacks.

There are five steps to nurturing yourself: return to the inner self, search for expectations, search for logic, find the source of deprivation, and pursue the source. Before these five steps can be achieved, it is essential to gain a comprehensive understanding of the sense of security, freedom, meaning, intimacy, and value, as outlined in detail in "Nurturing the Child Within You."

My name is Zhang Huili. I am a middle-aged woman with a wealth of experience, a challenging background, and a kind heart. I hope my answer can be of assistance to you. I encourage you to embark on the path of self-growth as soon as possible. Happiness and fate are within your control. Learning psychology on your own may be a slow process. I highly recommend that you seek professional counseling as soon as possible to address the various challenges you are facing on your journey of growth. You are still young and talented, and I am confident that you will find a more fulfilling love and marriage in the future.

Hello, host. I'm JE.

From what you've said, I can see you're confused, hesitant, and cheating-husband-returns-to-the-family-and-he-is-struggling-internally-how-should-he-face-it-26815.html" target="_blank">struggling.

You're not quite sure if you can trust this person.

You're on the fence about accepting this man and his child.

You're trying to figure out if you've gone against your own principles.

Am I still wondering if this will all work out?

Is this what you're looking for in a relationship?

I'm not sure if this is true love for me.

You might be wondering if you really have to be with this man, and what will happen to you if you do.

And if not, what will happen to me? Will he make my life better, and will I be happy with him?

Is there a connection between the bad things that have happened to me and him? You can try taking a piece of paper and dividing it in the middle, and writing down on each side separately. Hopefully, this will help you find an answer.

Best wishes!

I can see from your writing that you're really bothered by one thing: he's cheated. I don't know if you're questioning the purity of this man's love for you or if you're wondering if he really loves you, given this incident.

My advice is that if you keep walking by the river, you'll inevitably get your feet wet. You can wait, and his actions will tell you the answer. Of course, I hope that this person is your true love, just as you do.

If you're really bothered by this, there's no need to convince yourself otherwise. It's okay to admit that he makes you uncomfortable. Maybe you don't believe it because it's not like rumors just appear out of nowhere. Maybe the above answer has already helped you find the answer.

All the best!

Hello, question asker!

From what you've said, it seems like you're caught between two options. It's hard to know whether to take it or let it go. I can imagine it's a tough decision.

When I saw that he has three daughters and one son, and is 13 years older than you, I felt that his standards should be in line with yours to make you like him so much! I also found that your idea that sex should not happen before marriage, which you insisted on so much, was also broken because of him. You really can't bear to let her go, so you are here to let everyone help you make a decision. You are really afraid of missing this chance, and it is really not easy to face the choice.

But that's life. We have to face things and make choices. It can't go on like this forever! It's okay for a year, two years, three years, but not forever!

So, what's next? Let me share my views based on my personal knowledge and experience.

First, take a look at your own views on finding a partner and see how much the current one meets them.

You said you don't want to have sex before marriage. I think you're right. It'll be good for you in the long run. If the other person is sincere, they'll understand. We wanted something stable and long-lasting, so we insisted on this. I support you in your decision. It'll help you avoid hurt. I know you're afraid of missing a good partner, but I don't think that'll happen.

Then there's the stepmother you mentioned, who has four children. Have there been any relationships with other women? And there's the net worth of the divorce. Can you all become acceptable after you feel a little uncomfortable?

If you can accept these things over time, you can consider it. Life is not easy anyway, so you have to be prepared mentally.

Secondly, it's important to understand that true love isn't something you can actively seek out. It's something you have to be prepared for.

I see that you're looking for someone to share your faith. That's great! Who wouldn't want to find true love? But this is life. It's rare to get what you want. So don't worry. I saw what you said, and you're 34. Let's not worry just because we feel old and see the other person that way. We've already done right by ourselves. In fact, you're not old at 34. You really can't rush this. We know that if we rush, we'll make mistakes. So what we need now is to calm down and be quiet. Only then can wisdom be born. Don't worry.

I truly believe that there is someone out there who is meant for you. How do you know when the right person comes along? It's simple: when you're clear-headed and ready to make a decision, you'll make the right choice. You'll have taken responsibility for your choice. Let me give you an example. This person is 13 years older than you, has three daughters and a son. If you choose her and you choose to believe in her, it shows that you're mentally prepared for the future. I think that's also fate. Live your life well, think about all aspects as comfortably as possible, and the future will be good. Believe in yourself, and the right person will come along!

I wish you all the best in your future endeavors!

I love you, the world, and I support you!

Hello, girl. I see the confusion you are facing right now, and I'm here to help.

You are experiencing relationship problems. Let me give you a warm hug again.

You should not feel anxious because you are 34 years old and still not married.

Let me be clear: there are plenty of women who are still single at 34.

Furthermore, relationships are not something you can actively seek.

This fellow villager is 13 years older than you and has a complicated family background.

He has three daughters and a two-year-old son. He also had relationships with other girls.

I can tell you my opinion, because I've been there.

My mother was my father's second wife. My father's first wife had two daughters and a son.

Then, after my mother married my father, I was born.

However, my father's first wife was convinced that my mother and I had taken away his love for them. As a result, she was treated badly and I was discriminated against ever since my mother entered his marriage.

My mother and I were unhappy in my father's house.

I'm telling you this so you can learn from it.

If you want to be a stepmom, you need to think carefully about having kids with this guy, who's 13 years older than you.

If the answer is yes, you must also consider whether his children will accept the child you have with him.

You must think about these issues clearly now.

Don't wait until you and he are married and then slowly figure it out.

The girl needs to find an effective solution to her problems as soon as possible.

That's all I have to say for now.

I hope my answers are helpful and inspiring. I am the answer. Study hard every day.

At Yixinli, we love you—the world and I. Best wishes!

The two questions the OP asked were: Should I become a stepmother? Is premarital sex allowed?

The questioner's two questions are two extremes of romantic relationships and contradictory. One asks whether you want to get married and become a stepmother. The other asks about problems after a romantic relationship begins and whether to have sex before marriage.

The questioner is an older person with a social circle of entrepreneurs. This environment is full of people with relatively good financial conditions and a high level of social awareness.

I must say that the foundation and condition for choosing an outstanding man are very good. However, the questioner stated that the two issues of beliefs and no premarital sex deter many men.

That is unfortunate.

I don't know if the questioner is inferior to the relationship.

The questioner is right to highlight the conflicting aspects of modern perceptions of marriage and love. Many young people want to embrace an open attitude towards sex and spiritual communication. They want to accept the physiological needs of this age group while adhering to their own beliefs.

The questioner has experienced a marriage before, and I am certain that their feelings about marriage are profound, and their expectations for marriage are also relatively high. They cannot accept a marriage of convenience or infidelity within marriage.

The questioner made it clear that they would prefer to feel each other's spirit and soul rather than their bodies. It is evident that the questioner is seeking an ideal marriage where they can exchange ideas spiritually and agree with each other.

Some people advocate trying out a marriage through premarital sex to see if it is suitable, or emphasize that sex is an instinctive need for adults. However, our society is much stricter with women in terms of sexual morality. Most women release sexual behavior before marriage, and after marriage, it may become a reason for each other to secretly find it difficult to accept each other.

If you accept these ideas, you must also accept that one of the reasons for difficulty in being understood and tolerated in the future marriage may be due to the above. Of course, if the future other half is really more tolerant, you'll be lucky.

If you want to know whether the man you are dating is suitable for marriage, you need to consider more than just having premarital sex. You need to be able to get to know each other through sharing experiences and exchanging different ideas. You need to be able to seek common ground while reserving differences, accept differences, trust each other, be honest with each other, support each other, and understand each other. There is a lot of denial. You need to understand each other's personalities, ways of dealing with things, character flaws, and the possible impact of these flaws on the relationship. You also need to know whether there are effective ways to deal with them.

The questioner mentioned some of the circumstances of the man she is currently dating, and there are some contradictions in this. These contradictions must be addressed. The questioner developed the man's fake divorce certificate and found that he had signed an agreement to divorce and leave the house with nothing. Others mentioned that he had had sexual relationships with multiple women. However, the question asked is whether to become a stepmother. This is a serious matter that requires attention.

You had premarital sex. You discovered your partner was cheating and hiding things. You have emotional cleanliness, so it is hard for you to accept infidelity within marriage. However, the man's current behavior is infidelity within marriage. You are expecting the relationship to go further or believe he will divorce and remarry.

The questioner knows how to make a choice rationally, but it seems contradictory. In these kinds of conflicts, the man has satisfied some of the questioner's psychological needs.

I want to know what it is.

From the way the questioner first described her state and her thoughts on marriage, to the way she describes her current relationship, it is evident from the logic that the questioner is a modern, independent woman. The questioner should consider gaining a deeper understanding of marriage and self.

Use the resources of a professional counselor to help sort yourself out. For example, in an intimate relationship, the questioner is likely someone who is prone to taking care of others while neglecting their own feelings.

Tell me, do you feel unbalanced in your intimate relationship? Or have you lost yourself?

Marriage is a complex topic. The questioner is a woman who is willing to contribute in a relationship. However, when she gives too much, she may feel that she is not being valued or ignored. I once did a small survey. Many people ranked marriage as the most difficult, followed by work and raising children.

This shows how complicated marriage is. It involves the two people's sex lives, intimacy, finances, trust, understanding, etc. It also involves the various relationships in each of their respective original families and their own two people's career development, etc.

Furthermore, I will provide a brief response to the question:

You need to know whether the biological father of the child is willing to marry you. That's an important factor in whether or not you should become a stepmother.

You must be willing to share the responsibilities of marriage and reconcile the relationship between you and the child as a stepmother.

You need to be able to predict and accept the consequences and impact of the act before you have sex before marriage.

The New Year is here, and I want the original poster to feel loved and loving!

Hello, question asker! I'm an old donkey with a worn-out mind, but I'm excited to share my thoughts with you!

First of all, I personally feel that whether or not to have sex before marriage depends on how much responsibility you want to take. I think my college teacher put it very well: in love, you can only develop to the extent of the responsibility you can take. And that's a great thing!

If it's not for you, then don't worry about it!

Second, I absolutely believe that age should never be a reason to hate marriage! It's your time that will eventually come, and it'll be the best decision you ever make!

I had a colleague who was also single in his 30s, but he later got married and had children step by step and was very happy. There was also a graduate who was anxious to get married, but they divorced after two years.

Third, I think you'll find that the conditions you mentioned may not necessarily be able to find the right one. But don't worry! There are so many ways to eliminate problems, so there's no need to doubt yourself too much. People with too strong an agenda will find it difficult to last if they stay together against their will.

Fourth, I think that whether you decide to become a stepmother or not, the focus is not really on the special identity of a stepmother. It lies in whether your feelings for him are so deep that you are willing to adapt to the identity of a stepmother for him. This is an amazing opportunity for you to show him how much you love him!

I think you should be more concerned about whether this person really wants to be with you or just playing along. Because the questioner's description mentioned that the man had a fake divorce, which is something you can definitely work around!

If someone loves you, they'll reassure you with actions, not constant verbal explanations, about things that make you doubt.

I highly recommend that the questioner try to understand what the other person's motives are for approaching them. Even though girls tend to overreact, it's still important to trust your instincts (which are often very accurate) and try to understand the credibility of the other person's feelings for you from multiple dimensions!

Best regards! I'm so excited to see you soon!

Dear Landlord,

The decision to become a stepmother or to engage in sexual intercourse before marriage is contingent upon one's comprehension and concurrence with the chosen spouse and the recognition of the potential consequences. When these elements are clear and definitive, the decision can be made with certainty. However, if there is still ambiguity or uncertainty, it is essential to dedicate time and energy to understanding the underlying factors. These choices and doubts often originate from one's perception and abilities.

The question of whether it is necessary to engage in sexual intercourse before marriage is a complex one. Lust is an instinctive human emotion that exists in both men and women. There is no inherent right or wrong associated with it. The reasons that many people are concerned about engaging in sexual intercourse before marriage can be summarized as follows: first, a woman's reserve can inspire a man's respect; second, if the necessary protection measures are not in place during sexual intercourse, the resulting chain reaction on the woman will be greater than that on the man, due to physiological differences; third, a man's prudence and control of lust is also a relative test of whether he can maintain physical fidelity in the future marriage. Therefore, if the prospective spouse can be evaluated based on the aforementioned results, it is not necessary to determine whether sexual intercourse occurs before marriage, but rather whether the prospective spouse's character is worthy of commitment.

The decision to become a stepmother is a highly contentious issue. In essence, the choice to become a stepmother is not an option, but rather an additional factor to be considered.

In marriage, a spouse is chosen, but the existence of the spouse's children as an objective factor means that the additional item is mandatory, not optional. This additional item has been proven by countless facts and experiences in the past and present, especially in traditional Chinese concepts that emphasize the heritage of the family and the primacy of blood relations, coupled with the mixing of generations, which will increase the variables even more.

An increase in variables does not necessarily imply a negative outcome; rather, it may necessitate more challenging risk control measures. Consequently, each situation must be analyzed individually and cannot be generalized.

In essence, if the spouse has good coordination skills, then being a stepmother or having a good relationship with the mother-in-law is a manageable, avoidable, and adjustable outcome. However, if the spouse is not cooperative, the relationship will become unstable. Therefore, based on the principle of focusing on the key points and solving the key links, instead of spending time thinking about the feasibility of becoming a stepmother, it is better to have a serious discussion with the chosen spouse about his plans and expectations for the future, especially those related to the children.

Given that you have raised two questions, which is of greater importance to you?

Let us first address the initial inquiry. Based on the information provided, it seems that the individual in question is not inclined to assume the role of stepmother.

Given that you have not yet given birth, I believe it is likely that you will want to have your own child after marriage. Being a stepmother will undoubtedly affect the raising of your future child. After all, having an extra child requires additional effort, which is still stressful for most ordinary families.

In such a case, it is advisable to be forthright and transparent when searching for a marriage partner, clearly articulating your needs and expectations. Concurrently, it is prudent to assess the financial standing of both parties.

Another factor to consider is the presence of children from a previous relationship. It is essential to define the parenting style you expect and communicate it clearly before proceeding. This will help identify potential solutions or at least establish a foundation for them.

The second issue is about premarital sex. I commend you for your persistence on this matter.

In today's society, when a beautiful unmarried woman who is divorced is seen, many people will want to treat you like a PY. The number of people who can really stick with you should be very few. If you have requirements in this regard, you must accept the consequences (your acceptable range is very small).

An alternative option is to enhance your own financial standing to the point where you are no longer concerned with the financial stability of the man in question. This may also be an opportune time to consider the benefits of a younger brother.

From the aforementioned discussion, it can be concluded that the crux of the two issues lies in the financial domain. When one is of a sufficient caliber, the necessity of assessing the financial stability of the prospective partner is negated, thereby resolving both concerns. One potential solution is to seek an unmarried younger brother and assume a greater financial burden within the marriage.

If we lack the foundation to meet these conditions, it may be advisable to adjust our expectations and expand our social circle. There is always the possibility of meeting a suitable partner in this way.

I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.

This story is definitely worth pondering and thinking deeply about. After all, the right to choose is in our own hands! Based on your situation, I'm excited to give you a few suggestions:

From the differences between your ideals and reality, you can see that you have the opportunity to embrace contradictions and conflicts. What an exciting time to have a good talk and make a choice! Whether his divorce is real or not, you have already given him your most precious thing, so you always have the chance to take responsibility. This responsibility is the foundation for a bright future. If you get married, you have the chance to think carefully about whether you can accept his children. It is not a matter of whether you are a stepmother, but a process. You don't yet know whether the children will accept you, but you can make it happen! You can tell whether you are sincere from this marriage, and you don't need to make excuses. If you still want to have a relationship, you have the chance to wait until the wedding night (this may be the last trump card, or maybe not).

From the very beginning of your relationship, you were already at a disadvantage. I don't know if you felt it, because you are conservative and you ultimately couldn't resist the temptation. This is not your fault. I believe that sometimes it is just as hard to believe a man's words as it is to believe a pig can climb a tree! Whether you are active or passive, at that time you really enjoyed the process mentally (the feeling of being loved). Because you lacked the experience of love since childhood, you also hope to get the attention, recognition, and love of others. Although rationally you think you should maintain a distance after the emotion, from that moment on you have already made her look down on you in her heart. The weighing of marriage is a key here. Since you chose him, he must do what is right. But if you consider this to be the end and no longer want to be hurt, you may not be willing to do so. But from the perspective of an outsider, his behavior does not necessarily show that you are someone worthy of trust. On the one hand, he is carrying too much of a burden, and it does not make us look materially well-off (after all, he is leaving with nothing).

His ex-wife's conditions are still commendable. Why did he divorce his ex-wife? You may not know the real story, but it's going to be a wild ride finding out!

Things have come to this point, and whether you believe it or not is not important. What you need to do is face it head on! You need to take into account the opinions of both sets of parents and make future plans or schedules. Don't wait, don't be passive, because time is even more precious to you!

These suggestions are just a starting point. The world is your oyster! All the best!

Hello, I am Xin Tan, your coach, Fei Yun.

I can sense that you are carrying a certain degree of bitterness on your journey towards happiness, particularly as a divorced single woman. It is undoubtedly challenging to find true love again after going through a divorce.

Let's share and discuss this together with a warm embrace.

? 1. There is nothing wrong with pursuing true love. It is a right that everyone has.

As you mentioned, it seems that you are also seeking a soulmate with whom you can connect on a physical, mental, and spiritual level. This is a desire that many people share and is often associated with feelings of true love and happiness.

There is nothing inherently wrong with this. It's just that in your current environment and social circles, you haven't encountered it yet.

Many of the men who pursue you seem to be more interested in a physical relationship than a deeper connection. This can lead to feelings of disappointment, self-pity, and desperation.

You are firm in your stance against premarital sex, which you see as a matter of defending your dignity.

Perhaps there are two sides to consider. While you are defending your dignity, could it be that you are also feeling inferior inside?

The label "divorced single" and the "prejudice" and "judgment" behind it can be a source of pain and discomfort.

It is possible that while you hold fast to your inner chastity, you may also be attracting people who are thinking impure thoughts about you and who are not truly in love.

It might be helpful to remember that relationships are formed in the process of interaction between people.

This pattern has formed to protect your desired dignity and self-love, but it may also be hindering some possibilities, such as people and opportunities who genuinely and simply like you.

2. Consider making a change to your current pattern to embrace a "new life."

Ultimately, you selected a fellow villager who was 13 years your senior, but it unfortunately wasn't the genuine, enduring love you were seeking.

The situation you describe is one in which the individual in question has chosen to end the marriage without leaving the family home, which can often result in a lack of financial stability and the responsibility of raising multiple children. It's understandable that these circumstances may not align with your expectations for a loving and fulfilling relationship.

You have been on your own for quite some time, and you would like to feel cared for and supported. You are afraid of being alone and would prefer not to have to carry everything on your own.

Perhaps the best way to break the pattern would be to change the original pattern.

It would be beneficial to become aware of your patterns and the way you interact with others, based on past interpersonal interactions and emotional experiences.

Could I ask you to consider why you repeatedly attract people who first focus on your body? Why is it that after getting to know each other, they just want to have sex first? And why do you think this old friend is true love, but he still maintains sexual relationships with other women?

It may be helpful to consider finding your own reasons from these patterns and taking responsibility for yourself actively as a way of making change possible.

It might also be helpful to consider shifting your focus from seeking true love externally to focusing on yourself and improving your mindset, thereby improving your overall strength.

If you allow yourself to flourish, you may find that opportunities for love and connection will arise.

It might be helpful to say goodbye to the past and its patterns, and to regain your confidence. You deserve better, and your value and future are not necessarily dependent on whether you have a partner or are married.

I believe that 34 years old is a very good age, and that you are not in a bad situation. Perhaps it would be helpful to give yourself time and opportunities. When you are confident in yourself, it may also help to be confident in the future.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to take the initiative in your own life and live it to the fullest.

I hope the above is helpful to you. If you would like to discuss further, please feel free to make an appointment for a heart-to-heart chat.