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Someone who loves me very much cannot get into my heart. Can you help me analyze the situation and give me advice?

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Someone who loves me very much cannot get into my heart. Can you help me analyze the situation and give me advice? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

He loves me very much, I can tell, but his year of companionship has not yet reached the innermost part of me. I'm not a person without feelings, I'm moved to tears because he loves me very much, but it seems that I still feel lonely. I haven't suffered from any emotional wounds before, but I've been depressed for a long time. I don't know what's wrong with me, and I don't know how to welcome him. Can you help me analyze and give suggestions? Also, I asked another question before, and a counselor helped me analyze my subconscious feelings, which were locked up and blocked. This should also be related, right?

Please help me with some advice.

Timothy Nguyen Timothy Nguyen A total of 9306 people have been helped

Hello. From your description, I can sense a certain inner conflict. On the one hand, you want to be loved, and on a conscious level, you feel you should accept that. However, on a subconscious level, you may be struggling with that idea. It seems there is a great fear inside you. Perhaps we could explore together from a psychological perspective what our unconscious is trying to express?

It might be helpful to consider that attachment loss can have an impact on our growth and the type of attachment relationship we have.

A child's development is greatly influenced by the attachment they form with a primary caregiver, whether it be their mother, father, grandfather, or grandmother. Attachment relationships can be broadly classified into two categories: secure and insecure. Secure attachment relationships are characterized by a sense of trust and stability, while insecure relationships may manifest as ambivalent, avoidant, or disorganized.

If we take the time to understand our attachment model, we can also gain valuable insight into how to establish intimate relationships in adulthood. There are many nuances to consider, such as the interplay between safety, conflict, and avoidance. If the other person is secure, the other party may find healing in a stable intimate relationship, but it is a process that requires patience and understanding.

I don't know your upbringing, but I'll make an educated guess: if you have an avoidant attachment, you feel insecure. When you were little, if your words weren't seen, heard or understood, it would cause you to fear rejection, fear being hurt, fear being denied as an adult. This is an internal fear, a pattern that has already formed in your subconscious, and you can't rely on yourself to adjust. You might benefit from professional guidance, and you may also find it helpful to express yourself (for example, as you once described, "I know you're good to me, and I want to love you even better, but I don't know why it's so hard to do. I'm also in pain. Do you understand how I feel?") I'm curious to know if you've expressed yourself in words in real life as well as on this platform.

If you express it, your transformation can be healed with your boyfriend. If you want to express it but cannot, you might benefit from the guidance of a professional teacher, as your unconscious mind is very clever. She thinks that although your relationship is good, you still do not feel safe. She is very worried that once she expresses it, he will be sad and hurt, and she will be abandoned.

This is a daring assumption in psychology, which I can only grasp with the help of the information you've shared. The world and I love you, and I believe you deserve to love yourself too. Stay strong.

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Ophelia Shaw Ophelia Shaw A total of 3886 people have been helped

Hello, dear friend!

I'd really love to know why someone who loves me so much can't get into my heart.

I just wanted to share my thoughts on why this might be happening.

It's totally normal to crave love and connection, but it's also okay to feel lonely when it doesn't feel like the love you're getting is quite what you need. I've been there, and I think it's important to recognize that we might need a different kind of love than what we're getting. It's not about finding the "perfect" partner, but about recognizing what we truly need and seeking it out.

It might be caused by your depression-induced inferiority complex and self-protection mechanism. It's really happy to have someone who loves you very much! But we can't let go of our own behavior. Perhaps we ourselves are not confident in ourselves, and we can't see our own value. By shutting ourselves in this way, we also feel lonely.

It's okay to feel lonely, even if you have a partner. Everyone feels this way sometimes. It's normal! We're all born independent, so it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Let's find a way to solve it together!

[1] It's so important to be aware of your own needs. Take a look at whether what the other person gives you is really what you want.

If that's not the case, it might be that you're not really looking for this kind of love. It's worth asking yourself whether you truly need this kind of partner, or whether you'd be happier with a different kind of love.

[2] Be kind to yourself and recognize when you're feeling down. I believe that you can't fully let go of your heart because your depression or this relationship issue is occupying your heart, not this love. This makes you feel isolated and alone.

It can be really helpful to take a look at why we're feeling depressed and what might be causing it. Once we've figured that out, it'll be easier to accept the support of others.

[3] Be true to yourself and express your true self. We all have a bad side, and we all have a good side too! It's only natural to be a little afraid that meeting the other person will make them see our bad side. Many people in intimate relationships hope that the other person will see their good side, or that they will take the initiative to give, but they are also afraid of being seen as their true self.

It might be a good idea to let go and just be yourself, trusting yourself and the other person.

At the end of the day, any relationship needs mutual maintenance. If one person's long-term efforts don't see results, it might cause some problems in the relationship. Be aware of your own state, see the problem, trust yourself, trust others, and give yourself and the other person a chance to see what happens.

I really hope these ideas help you! I wish you a speedy recovery from whatever's troubling you.

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Christopher James Martin Christopher James Martin A total of 915 people have been helped

Good day. It is evident that you are grappling with an individual who holds you in high regard but is unable to gain access to your emotional core. I am inclined to assist you in untangling this complex situation.

First and foremost, love is a distinctive psychological phenomenon that is unique to each individual. Only the individual in question can accurately determine whether the feeling in question is love, a mere touch of affection, or something else entirely.

The love theory proposed by American psychologist Sternberg posits that love is comprised of three fundamental components: passion, intimacy, and commitment. Passion represents the sexual aspect of love, signifying an emotional fascination. Intimacy, on the other hand, denotes the warm experience that can be elicited in a loving relationship. Commitment, finally, refers to the decision to maintain the relationship or a guarantee.

These three components form the basis of the seven types of love: like-love, infatuation-love, empty-love, romantic-love, partner-love, foolish-love, and perfect-love. Only love that exhibits all three components is considered perfect love.

Apply this theory to your current situation and determine the type of love you believe you are experiencing, or the stage you perceive yourself to be in.

You indicate that your long-term depression has affected your emotional expression. However, I can discern that you do have feelings. For example, you state, "I was moved to tears because he loves me very much, but it seems that I still feel a sense of loneliness. He loves me very much, I can tell." This suggests that your feelings are not entirely absent. Rather, they are present, albeit in a way that gives you doubt. You indicate that you feel moved, which is a clear indication of feeling. Tietjenberger's three-element theory suggests that a lack of passion may be a factor in this situation.

This may be related to your depressed mood, though this is not necessarily the case. Alternatively, it may be related to the way he expresses himself, or perhaps he is not your type. It is recommended that you calm yourself and take some time to really feel the subtle difference between being touched and being moved, as this will help you to reach a conclusion.

The fundamental expectation of an intimate relationship is a sense of security and belonging. Love is an emotional experience, not a straightforward promise. It is often observed that companionship is the longest form of commitment.

The following section will present a brief overview of the theory in question, as well as its relevance to the subject matter under discussion.

It is challenging to find a partner who is capable of expressing profound love. Without further details regarding the nature of this individual's actions and the context of the relationship, it is difficult to ascertain the extent to which he is capable of reciprocating your feelings. It is possible that he may not be inclined to express his emotions verbally or through romantic gestures. Alternatively, he may be more inclined to demonstrate love through actions. The book "The Five Languages of Love" posits that there are five primary forms of love: "affirming words," "deliberate moments," "receiving gifts," "acts of service," and "physical touch." These forms of love can be assessed according to their alignment with your own preferences. If there is a discrepancy between your expectations and his actions, it is essential to communicate and adjust your understanding of each other. If you believe that this love is worthy of your commitment, it is crucial to maintain the relationship.

The item should be folded up.

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Peyton Grace Hodges Peyton Grace Hodges A total of 3353 people have been helped

Good day, question asker. My name is Evan.

From the author's own description, it seems that the author has difficulty establishing an intimate relationship with her current boyfriend. This raises the question of why the author feels unable to accept her boyfriend, whom she loves so much. Is this influenced by the original family?

It would be beneficial to understand the nature of the questioner's relationship with their parents. Frequently, issues with interpersonal relationships are influenced by our family of origin.

The result is that when the questioner sought intimacy within the family unit, they did not receive positive reinforcement from their parents. When they were alone, it may have prompted the questioner to avoid forming attachment relationships.

The questioner experiences a sense of emotional distance when confronted with the prospect of an intimate relationship and the love of her boyfriend. This may be attributed to past experiences of emotional trauma or a lack of positive parental guidance in the context of intimate relationships.

This results in the questioner having a resistant thought in their mind when dealing with intimate relationships.

As the question was posed on this platform, we are unable to provide a detailed response. However, we can offer some general advice on how to approach intimacy.

It is important to accept your current state.

When facing the intimacy of a close relationship, it is normal to experience negative emotions and feel that the other person cannot enter your heart. The questioner may benefit from considering that they have an avoidant attachment personality.

It is important to note that these feelings are a result of childhood experiences and the subsequent learned behavior. It is essential to recognize that the initial approach by the boyfriend is a normal part of the process and that communication is key to moving forward. The questioner should express their appreciation for the initial approach but also communicate their need for time to adjust. It is important to convey that they are open to understanding and that they are working through their emotions. The questioner should also express their hope that the boyfriend will be patient and give them the space they need to process their feelings.

It is important to be mindful of your inner voice.

Has the questioner ever considered the possibility that their own thoughts and beliefs may have an impact on their physical and mental well-being? It is possible that these thoughts may have a positive or negative effect on the questioner's health.

What is the underlying thought process that is causing this emotional response? The questioner is visibly affected by the level of intimacy being presented, yet simultaneously feels that the other person is not fully understanding their emotional state. What is the questioner trying to convey with this response?

If the other person is unable to comprehend your reaction, it may be helpful to take a moment to calm down and listen to your inner voice. Why do you feel this way? Why can't you accept him even though you are obviously moved? Do you have similar resistant thoughts or demands for other people? It is important to carefully observe your inner thoughts.

It is important to be mindful of the external situation.

The questioner should observe their reaction when someone approaches them. Is it when someone shows affection for the questioner, or when someone tries to get close to them? In social situations, do they resist the affection of others, and is this rejection limited to people other than family members, or is it the same even for their family members?

Do these situations cause the questioner to feel pressure or embarrassment? At this juncture, it may be beneficial to utilize visualization techniques to promote a sense of calm.

Imagine yourself in a relaxed state of mind, observing and enjoying the situation itself in a carefree and happy way.

If these situations cause the questioner discomfort, they should avoid them or take a moment to compose themselves before entering the relevant situation. If the questioner does not wish to engage in overly intimate interactions, they may excuse themselves from the situation and return when they have regained their composure.

If you feel that you are being touched by other people's kindness in a way that you would prefer to avoid, then it is important to think carefully about why you feel this way. What is your preferred mode of interaction? What are your needs? Have you discussed this with your boyfriend?

Practice articulating your needs in a clear and effective manner. This may initially feel uncomfortable, but with practice, you will become more confident in your ability to express your needs in a way that is both assertive and respectful.

It is important to be mindful of your own verbal habits.

It is common for individuals to express negative emotions when faced with challenging circumstances. These emotions may manifest as statements such as "I'm extremely annoyed," "I feel like giving up," or "I messed up again today." Such expressions often reflect a tendency to exaggerate and externalize emotions, which can perpetuate a negative outlook.

It is not uncommon for a mantra to reflect the subconscious thoughts of the questioner. Paying attention to your own mantra can help you gain insight into your inner thoughts.

It is recommended that the questioner avoid using such words. In order to facilitate a positive shift in mindset, it is advised to replace negative words with positive thoughts and compliments. For instance, "terrible" can be replaced with "unfortunate" or "there is still room for improvement," while "disaster" can be replaced with "challenge" or "inconvenience."

It is recommended that you seek psychological assistance.

The questioner's current pattern of resistance to intimacy has a significant impact on the questioner. If the questioner believes that their childhood experiences have influenced their current relationship dynamics and caused difficulties in intimate relationships, they may benefit from professional psychological counseling. These professionals can assist the questioner in addressing their negative emotions. Before pursuing counseling, it is advisable for the questioner to research the reputation of the practitioner to ensure a positive experience.

It is my hope that this response will prove helpful to the questioner.

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Cody Cody A total of 952 people have been helped

It's hard to feel close to someone who loves you. Even though you cry because you're moved, loneliness still follows you like a shadow.

I want to open my heart to him, but I'm not sure what's holding me back or what I can do to make it happen.

Love that can't go both ways is like a fishpond that lacks water to keep it alive. It can't last. The following sharing is meant to help you understand why this happens and how to deal with it.

1. It's important to understand that "knowing" and "feeling" are two different things.

He loves me a lot, and I can tell.

This kind of knowledge is at the mind level. Seeing what he does and hearing what he says will gradually deepen and confirm the knowledge at the brain level.

But he hasn't really gotten to know me on a deeper level yet.

The lack of "going inside" here is precisely the "feeling" on the "spiritual" level. Even though you're moved to tears, there's no feeling of going inside. This means that even if you feel his love, it's based on emotion, not heartache.

From your message and the replies to other respondents, I can tell you're a kind and gentle person. It's unlikely you'd want to be unable to return someone's love.

It seems like you're taking on the responsibility of making him enter your heart, and you're hoping to do it through your own efforts.

But love isn't something you can force. You can't often get the heart's consent through effort.

2. First, get to know your own heart. Then, consider the challenges someone might face in connecting with yours.

If you're not sure what you want and you're eager to respond to someone who loves you, your heart may instinctively resist, which won't be productive.

Instead, if we start with ourselves, we can gain a better understanding of why it's difficult to connect with others and make more authentic decisions.

So, how do you get to know yourself?

Take a look at your past emotional experiences. If they're not that deep, that's okay. We all have different levels of emotional experience, and family, friends, and even love are all similar in this way. Think about how your heart changes when you experience and feel these connections.

Who do you want to be close to?

And what kind of relationships do you want to keep up?

What are some of the things other people do that make you happy?

What kinds of things do other people do that make you feel distressed or even disgusted?

...

These ways of thinking are designed to help you explore more ways to connect with and understand yourself. If you start by looking within, you can gain insights that help you recognize the right person for you.

3. Latching is a form of self-protection, and finding a more adaptive protection mechanism will make the mind more open.

I also had another question. A counselor helped me look at some of my subconscious feelings of being locked up and blocked.

No matter what the topic is, the subconscious mind has its own considerations when it comes to feelings of lockdown and shielding. We often put up walls with the outside world to feel safe, but we also lose the possibility of interacting with the outside world.

If your heart wants to open up, you need to make sure that opening it up won't make it less safe. Either you've already checked that the outside world is safe, or you're willing to face the ups and downs of the outside world without walls, but with other, more adaptive protection mechanisms.

This is also part of the coping mechanism that we need to develop. Give yourself a chance to develop more adaptive protection mechanisms. The beginning is not to let go completely at once, but to take small steps, try one step at a time, and learn from the experience in the process, so that you can face the storm without fear.

I hope this sharing can be an inspiration for you.

I'm a psychologist, not a human behavior expert. I just care about the human heart. I wish you well.

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Laura Juliette Bryant Laura Juliette Bryant A total of 7168 people have been helped

Hello!

Hug you! Feelings are the steering wheel that a person uses to judge their emotions and position themselves. If feelings are blocked, we lose the ability to receive external energy and it is also difficult for us to successfully output our feelings to the outside world.

1. Accept yourself and your weaknesses.

He loves me very much, and I know it. However, his year of companionship has not yet reached the innermost part of me. I'm not a person without feelings. I'm moved to tears because he loves me very much, but I still feel lonely. I haven't suffered any emotional wounds before, but I've been depressed for a long time. I will figure out what's wrong with me and how I can welcome him.

We are born with the ability to perceive things. We can and should respond to our emotions in a reasonable way. However, when we lose the ability to feel ourselves, we may not be able to express ourselves, or we may find it difficult to express ourselves. This is usually related to our inner trauma, for example, childhood trauma. If parents do not support their children's right to express their feelings, the children will suppress the feelings they want to express. As adults, they gradually forget how to express themselves.

We must acknowledge the inner trauma, accept and understand it, and reassure ourselves. The child in us lacked the ability to protect ourselves, leading to negative memories and feelings of inferiority. The adult in us has the ability to establish a sense of inner security and seek favorable resources to love and care for ourselves.

2. Learn to distinguish between love and accept and express love.

In the story, a person who loves themselves very much sees it in their eyes and touches their heart, but they still don't know how to accept the other person's feelings. They must consider the questioner's own situation, such as whether they are in a good mental state, whether they have anxiety or panic disorder, etc. They must also understand that "good" does not mean "it is love," and love is even less about being moved. Love is about mutual attraction and the inner desire to be together.

Love allows us to understand our true feelings regarding the love the other person gives us. If we try to love because we are moved, rather than because of internal obstacles preventing us from getting closer, we can slowly open up to the core of the problem. The questioner mentioned the issue of the "subconscious mind," which requires them to gradually let go, step out of their internal defense mechanisms and insecurities, rebuild their inner self-confidence, and find the ability to feel themselves. This can be achieved through a long-term effort with the counselor and a foundation of trust in the relationship.

The attachment model is the key to building a healthy intimate relationship. It is the foundation upon which the two parties can build a relationship based on understanding, acceptance, and support. When these elements are in place, the other person feels a deeper sense of security and happiness.

You've got this. Keep up the good work!

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Andrew Shaw Andrew Shaw A total of 2649 people have been helped

Some people are very good to us, so good that it moves us, but we find it difficult to love them. You are precisely in this situation at the moment.

It would seem that this phenomenon occurs not only in the courtship stage, but also in many marriages. It is often the case that people believe that the other person is good to them, gentle and considerate, caring and tolerant, but find it challenging to emotionally engage with them.

This phenomenon is not uncommon and does not discriminate between the sexes.

Being with someone who is good to you can be a wonderful experience, akin to having a particularly good companion. While it can make you feel secure, it might also leave you feeling a little lonely at times.

This kind of affection is called "secure." It means that he treats you well, can take care of your body and life, so that you don't have to worry, and you feel safe and secure in life. However, it's worth noting that he may not be able to provide the excitement or passion that some of us seek in a relationship.

When you return to normal, you may find that he is not the person who can move you or make you fall in love with him.

It is important to remember that everyone's needs in an intimate relationship are different. You could perhaps compare it to:

The first level is physical intimacy, or material and practical care. He is attentive to your needs and takes good care of your body.

This kind of goodness is evident at all times and is manifested in tangible, practical ways.

The second level is emotional intimacy, or emotional and psychological care. When you are tired, he can offer you a sense of warmth; when you are aggrieved, he can provide you with comfort; when you encounter setbacks, he can offer you support.

He is attuned to your emotions and aware of your thoughts. If you are feeling unhappy, he can help you find ways to feel happier.

He will be there for you and support you in understanding your own thoughts and feelings. You will not feel alone, as he will be there to reach into your heart and provide care and support.

In this close relationship, you may have the opportunity to experience a sense of connection called love.

The third level is spiritual intimacy, or soul-level care. It involves the exchange of views and the development of empathy.

You are both interested in each other's ideas and learning. You are interdependent in your relationship and make progress together professionally.

It is a source of great satisfaction to communicate with a shared heart.

Not knowing what you truly want can lead to feelings of uncertainty and discomfort. Once you are aware of your desires, you can make a conscious decision to either continue or part ways with courage.

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Blake Julianne Cook Blake Julianne Cook A total of 2625 people have been helped

Hello! From your description, I can see some confusion in your heart at the moment. But don't worry, I'm here to help! Before discussing the problem, if you allow, I would like to give you a big hug first, hoping to give you some warmth and support ?

You say that there is someone who "loves you very much, you can tell, but his companionship over the past year has not reached your innermost being." You're not sure what the problem is, but you know you're a person with feelings! You just don't know what's wrong with you and how to welcome him.

I'm really interested to know what you have been through in your life that has made you feel "lonely… and chronically depressed," and led to the assessment that "a counselor helped you analyze the feelings locked up and blocked in your subconscious." I'd love to hear your thoughts on this!

From what you said, "His year of companionship has not yet reached the innermost part of you," it seems that there is some truth to this statement, and it seems that "the door in your heart has not yet opened for him." This just means there's still room for growth and exploration! Is it that you are unwilling to open it, or is it that the other person has not found the key to open it?

"Companionship" is an important factor in cultivating relationships. If companionship alone is not enough, I'm excited to see what else might be going on in your situation!

This is just my personal opinion, for reference only. Take care of yourself!

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Elsie Grace Hines Elsie Grace Hines A total of 144 people have been helped

Good day, My name is Jiang 61.

Firstly, I would like to thank you for entrusting us with your concerns. You have posed the question as to why someone who loves you very much is unable to gain access to your heart. I am here to assist you in analysing the situation and provide guidance.

It appears you are sincerely seeking an answer. Before proceeding, I will ask you a few questions.

1. Question

1. The individual you have a romantic interest in

I would like to gain a better understanding of your situation. Do you have a specific set of criteria for your ideal partner? Have you encountered someone who meets these criteria?

Please describe the individual in question. What are the reasons for his inability to gain access to your heart?

Is it that he does not meet your standards? Or are you simply refusing to allow him access to your heart?

2. Clues

You have indicated that the individual in question has a strong affinity for you, and you reciprocate his feelings. However, after a year of his company, he has not yet gained access to your innermost being. You have also stated that you are not a person without feelings. You have been moved to tears on account of his strong affections, yet you still feel a sense of loneliness. You have not suffered any emotional wounds previously, but you have been experiencing depression for an extended period.

The individual in question has adopted a closed approach.

From my perspective, your words indicate that you have effectively isolated yourself from the world, creating a barrier that prevents others from accessing your inner world.

It is possible that you have previously demonstrated an ability to open up, but that you currently prefer to close the door and reject others, perhaps as a result of past hurts. This is a conscious state that you have formed without necessarily being aware of it.

It is possible that you do not recall when this state of affairs began, or you may be aware of it but not fully conscious of its effect on your relationships.

The issue of loneliness

Despite your boyfriend's positive treatment of you and the emotional release you experience in his presence, you still feel isolated. This is likely due to a lack of emotional connection and understanding between you, which can result in feelings of loneliness.

I am unclear as to the situation.

You stated that you have not been hurt by love. However, I am unclear as to why you are in a state of self-isolation.

Further speculation: This may be attributed to the living conditions in your original family or to a change in your emotional state.

3. Observe with an open mind and heart.

Please describe the circumstances that led to your long-term depression.

I note that you have been experiencing depression for an extended period. Could you please elaborate on the circumstances that led to this prolonged state of depression? Depression is characterized by an inability to express and process one's inner thoughts.

Or perhaps your thoughts are not understood, you feel isolated, and you lack a supportive network, which could be contributing factors to your depression. When did your past experiences begin to cause depression?

Emotion and loneliness

You stated that your boyfriend's understanding and affection evoke a strong emotional response in you. However, I believe that his ability to connect with you on a deeper level is hindered by your emotional and mental barriers. This lack of genuine communication may contribute to feelings of spiritual isolation and helplessness.

2. Analysis

You have stated that you are unsure of the cause of your depression and that you require guidance on how to welcome your partner. Additionally, you have inquired about the nature of your subconscious feelings, which you believe to be obstructed. Given these circumstances, I am seeking advice on how to analyze these issues and provide suggestions for resolution. I would also appreciate guidance on whether these inquiries are relevant to this matter.

I kindly request assistance in providing a reference.

The underlying cause is your family of origin.

You are uncertain about the cause of your current situation, which is contributing to your distress. Your confusion is also a source of uncertainty for me.

It is often said that the issues one currently faces are not the result of recent developments, but rather the culmination of experiences from one's past.

For instance, when you referenced loneliness, I sensed a sense of emotional resolution, which likely stems from past experiences.

The consequence of this suppression is

You feel lonely, and I empathize with your emotional closure. I surmise that you were blamed, criticized, or disliked by your parents when you expressed your emotions. Your emotional expression was suppressed, and you did not receive the response you deserved. This made you feel unimportant, and gradually closed the door to expression, suppressing your emotions and feelings and not communicating with others.

? Defense mechanism

You have developed a strategy for protecting your emotions, which you believe will prevent you from being hurt again. This strategy involves creating a defensive barrier around your emotions, which you have built up to be impenetrable.

Similarly, your relationship with your boyfriend is affected by this dynamic. His various considerate actions are blocked by the ice, and they cannot melt your cold heart. Therefore, you will always feel lonely.

This is the repressed subconscious, as referenced by your counselor.

2. Due to your personality

From your description and my assessment, I believe you are currently a person who is reserved and tends to keep their emotions private. You are likely accustomed to maintaining a calm demeanor and may have a tendency to prioritize the satisfaction of others.

Individuals with a pleasing personality

A pleasing personality is one that prioritizes the satisfaction of others over one's own needs. This is an unhealthy state of mind. The essence of pleasing others is that others are more important than I am. I am only safe and loved if I make others feel comfortable.

As a result, you focus on the external input from others, while neglecting your own internal cues.

A calm personality is defined by the following characteristics: slow and deliberate, cautious, gentle and stable, and seeking harmony.

A calm personality is defined by the following characteristics:

Characteristics: slow and deliberate, cautious, gentle and stable, and seeking harmony.

Pros: easy-going, adaptable, thoughtful, tolerant.

The disadvantages of this personality type are that it is slow and lazy, not easily repentant, not fond of expressing opinions, and tends to be an indifferent bystander.

The reason for your reluctance to open up is a matter of character.

3. Unexpected events lead to

Despite your parents' tendency to suppress and ignore your emotional expression, you were compelled to suppress your own emotional expression in order to protect yourself, which subsequently altered your personality and caused your inner loneliness. Furthermore, another situation that can alter an individual's personality is a traumatic experience, such as encountering a catastrophic emergency, which may result in changes in temperament and the appearance of emotional isolation.

3. How to initiate contact

1. Identify the underlying cause of emotional closure.

Please recall the past.

Any change in behavior is the result of a specific reason. The questioner may wish to recall their consistent behavior as a child, as well as the time of the change in behavior, what happened at the time, and how they reacted and felt at the time.

This process allows you to uncover the true expectations held in your subconscious.

Your expectations are accurate.

From your description, it is evident that you have certain expectations, which have led to feelings of emotional isolation and loneliness. You appear to desire love, heart-to-heart communication, and emotional intimacy.

2. Acceptance

It is important to accept yourself.

Self-acceptance is a key attribute of a healthy and mature personality, as proposed by the American psychologist G. W. Allport. It is the ability to love and accept oneself and one's own characteristics. This includes recognizing the positive value of all aspects of oneself, including one's body, abilities, character, reputation, and so on, and accepting one's own reality.

The objective is to move on from past experiences.

Self-acceptance is about moving on from past experiences. It is the foundation of self-confidence and self-change.

The feelings of self-worthlessness and shame that result from an inability to accept oneself are the root cause of numerous negative experiences, including anxiety, depression, autism, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and personality disorders. Conversely, by accepting these feelings, one can free themselves from these problems, detach from them, and move forward with their life.

? Begin anew.

Self-acceptance demonstrates a willingness to embrace one's current circumstances and adopt a positive outlook. It entails a balance between acknowledging one's strengths and accepting one's weaknesses without feeling inferior or superior.

It is important to accept others.

Self-acceptance signifies a willingness to embrace one's current circumstances and adopt a positive outlook. It entails a balance between acknowledging one's strengths and accepting one's weaknesses without feeling inferior or superior.

This demonstrates your willingness to embark on a new venture.

It is important to accept others.

It is important to forgive those who have wronged you in the past, as well as those who are no longer a part of your life, with an open and accepting heart. By doing so, you can move on from the past and focus on the present and future.

3. Free yourself from the constraints of the past.

It is important to allow emotions to flow freely.

It is important to recognize that everyone has emotions. When these emotions are suppressed, they can lead to the accumulation of negative emotions, which can eventually result in a breakdown. It is essential to allow yourself to experience both positive and negative emotions, and to release them in a healthy manner. This process of releasing emotions can itself be cathartic, and it is an important step in healing grief.

It is important to share your emotions.

It is also beneficial to openly share with others the people or things that you care about. This can help you to feel more relaxed and open, which in turn can facilitate closer relationships with your boyfriend and others.

4. Express yourself sincerely.

It is recommended that you open your heart.

To free yourself from the need to please and seek the affection of others, open your heart, face yourself, and connect with the innate ability within yourself. This will enable you to feel the power of other people's care and love. You will discover that you will get what you expect.

You will accept it with gratitude.

Express it in a sincere manner.

It can prompt the desired emotional response by encouraging openness and sincerity in expressing expectations.

It is important to manage expectations effectively in any business situation.

An expression of expectation represents a vision or longing for an unknown moment or thing in the future.

I can see your expectation. If you are unable to express it, it will remain an expectation. Conversely, if you express it to your boyfriend or other people and they provide feedback, it will become a reality.

Sincere expression

Sincere expression is a method of communicating inner needs to others in an open and transparent manner. It necessitates congruent communication.

In order to communicate consistently, it is essential to ensure that the verbal and non-verbal information conveyed aligns with one's inner feelings. This approach ensures that all parties involved, including oneself, the other individual, and the situation, receive due attention and respect.

Individuals in this model exhibit an inner awareness in their communication, demonstrating a coherence between their expressions and words, inner harmony and balance, and a relatively high sense of self-worth.

Consistent communication is often carried out using the following sentence structure. The specific sentence structure is as follows:

Describe the objective situation in a way that is free from accusations or emotions.

Please describe the objective situation in a factual, objective manner, without any accusations or emotional input.

I would like to take this opportunity to share my feelings with you.

It is important to clearly express your feelings and emotions in the moment.

It is my hope that...

It is important to clearly express what you want the other person to do, specifically state your needs, and make it a quantifiable, executable, and visible expectation.

I am of the opinion that...

Please describe your expectations regarding the positive outcome.

When communication is consistent, the other person will receive a message that is aligned with your feelings. This will enable your boyfriend to understand your emotional needs and fulfill your wishes, allowing you to truly connect on an emotional level.

Opening up your inner world is an effective way to initiate emotional communication and facilitate your boyfriend's entry into your world.

I would like to extend my best wishes to the questioner for future happiness and joy.

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Dominic Martinez Dominic Martinez A total of 8674 people have been helped

Good day, question asker.

My name is Yi Ming, and I am a heart exploration coach.

The question posed is not straightforward to answer.

It is possible that no definitive answer can be provided.

I would be pleased to engage in further discussion on this topic.

The initial step is to gain an understanding of one's own emotions.

It is important to note that feelings of loneliness are not exclusive to a single individual. In fact, many people experience these feelings at one point or another in their lives.

Even in the presence of a partner who is irrevocably committed, who evinces unwavering affection, and who is consistently accessible, feelings of solitude can persist.

At this juncture, it is imperative to gain an understanding of one's emotional state.

For example, you state, "I experience prolonged periods of depression and am uncertain as to the cause." Could you please clarify what is meant by "prolonged periods of depression"?

Do you experience persistent depressive symptoms, diminished motivation, or reduced levels of positive affect?

Does this have an impact on your life?

Some individuals may adhere to a minimalistic lifestyle in terms of their attire and dietary habits, yet they consistently exhibit a state of positive affect, enthusiasm, and a profound appreciation for life.

Have you ever experienced a sense of envy in relation to this phenomenon?

The initial step in addressing these issues is to gain an understanding of one's own mental state.

The question thus arises as to whether there is a desire to effect a change in one's long-term depressed state.

You have stated that individuals who express a profound level of affection towards you are unable to gain access to your emotional core. This raises the question of whether your emotional core is accessible to others.

Have you ever been in a situation where you experienced the emotion of love for another individual?

In light of these considerations, it seems reasonable to conclude that the question in question encompasses a multitude of interrelated elements.

The initial step is to gain an understanding of one's emotional state and discern the underlying messages these emotions are attempting to convey.

Are you apprehensive about the prospect of being wounded and, as a consequence, reluctant to display your vulnerability?

Do you employ subconscious strategies to safeguard your emotional state?

What are your personal aspirations?

The process of sorting through these issues in a gradual and systematic manner will facilitate the identification of the areas in which one is experiencing difficulty.

At this juncture, it becomes possible to implement changes with greater ease.

2. Gain an understanding of love and loneliness.

The following section will address the concept of loneliness.

Humans are innately prone to feelings of loneliness.

Individuals may experience and conceptualize loneliness in diverse ways.

Some individuals do not experience feelings of loneliness even when the person they love is not physically present, as they maintain a sense of connection and affection for that person in their hearts.

The individual who exhibits affectionate behavior toward another person is, by definition, in tune with their emotional state.

If the individual in question is unable to gain access to one's emotional core, it may be worthwhile to consider whether one's own feelings of love are genuine.

One might inquire whether the love he provides is sufficient for one's needs.

It is analogous to a situation in which an individual takes good care of their own clothing, food, housing, and transportation, and is aware that the other person loves them. However, there is a lack of spiritual resonance between the two, which results in feelings of loneliness.

When one is understood and appreciated, one can endure loneliness even if one feels lonely.

There is a person in the world who is capable of understanding themselves and remaining in tune with their own feelings.

When we require the company and understanding of another individual and receive a prompt response, our feelings of loneliness will be alleviated.

Moreover, this necessitates a personal experience and emotional insight.

If these channels are closed off, even if there is someone who is present 24 hours a day and demonstrates love, the other person will still not be integrated into the heart, and thus the feeling of loneliness will persist.

This sense of loneliness may also originate from within the individual, stemming from a perceived deficiency in one's character.

It is challenging for individuals to establish a psychological connection with others.

I am unaware of the nature of your relationship with your parents.

It would be beneficial to ascertain whether there is a slight avoidant attachment.

The absence of a typical close relationship with one's parents during childhood can impede the formation of intimate relationships in adulthood.

3. What strategies might be employed to address this issue?

It is important to recognize that feelings of loneliness are a normal aspect of intimate relationships.

One should endeavor to love.

The capacity to love and be loved is a fundamental human ability. It is possible to attempt to establish connections with other individuals or entities.

It is recommended that you proceed with expressing your love for others in a forthright manner.

If one finds it challenging to love another person, it may be helpful to begin by expressing love for a smaller, less intimidating object, such as a flower growing by the roadside or a kitten.

It is recommended that one allow oneself to experience the world in a tangible manner.

One should endeavor to cultivate the capacity to bestow love upon others.

When individuals engage in loving behaviors, they are more likely to experience feelings of being loved and to open their hearts.

It is more straightforward for others to gain access to one's innermost thoughts and feelings.

It is recommended that these concepts be disseminated through open and honest communication.

Those wishing to pursue this topic further are encouraged to read "It Turns Out That Understanding Is More Important Than Love."

I extend my sincerest wishes for your well-being.

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Comments

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Jabez Jackson Forgiveness is the doorway to freedom and a new beginning.

I can sense how deeply you feel about this situation. It's touching that his love moves you to tears, yet it's confusing when you still experience loneliness despite having someone who cares for you so much. Maybe what you're feeling stems from a need for deeper connection, not just companionship. It might be helpful to explore what aspects of your relationship are fulfilling and which ones are lacking. Communication with him about these feelings could be a step towards understanding each other better.

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Enya Thomas Learning is a bridge that connects ignorance and knowledge.

It's hard to pinpoint exactly what's causing your feelings, but it sounds like you're yearning for a level of intimacy that goes beyond daytoday interactions. Sometimes, even without past emotional wounds, we can carry internal barriers that prevent us from fully embracing the present. Have you considered expressing these inner struggles to him? Sharing your vulnerabilities could open up new avenues for closeness and mutual support.

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Hamilton Anderson The attention a teacher gives to each student is like a precious gem in the crown of education.

Your longterm depression may be playing a significant role in how you perceive your relationship. It's possible that the symptoms of depression are making it difficult for you to feel the full extent of his affection. Engaging in therapy or counseling could provide you with tools to manage your depression and improve your ability to connect on a deeper level. Since you've already started exploring your subconscious feelings, continuing this work might help unlock more positive experiences in your relationship.

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Reese Murray Success is a journey, not a destination.

Feeling lonely in a loving relationship can be incredibly isolating. The fact that you haven't had emotional wounds in the past suggests that this might be a new challenge for you. It's important to acknowledge that it's okay to seek help and that you're not alone in this. Your previous counselor's insights into your subconscious could be key to overcoming these feelings. Building on that work, perhaps through further sessions or selfreflection, might lead to a breakthrough in how you relate to yourself and to him.

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