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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
The internet is great, so let's start with a big, warm hug!
From your incoherent expression, I can also sense the panic and sense of being overwhelmed when you suddenly wake up. But don't worry! I can help you with that.
Based on your question, I think you should start solving the problem from the following aspects, and I'm excited to help you do so!
First of all, let's start at the beginning and think back to that past. What exactly was it that hurt you so much and made you so afraid?
This memory is not meant to make you recall the pain, but to find the root of your problem. And perhaps the painful memories are also the ones that hurt you the most. But you can find the root of your problem!
If you have found it, congratulations! We can then prescribe the right medicine.
Second, it feels like you haven't come out of your past relationships and haven't returned to the real world. So, I suggest you go out more and don't stay at home. Even a normal person can't stand it for long, so get out there and enjoy yourself!
You say that you are aware that you are not enthusiastic about your best friend's mother, which shows that you're still very clear about what you're doing! You don't want to do it, but in reality, you have to.
I can totally appreciate the self-contradiction and helplessness when you're at a loss for what to do and cannot control your emotions.
I highly recommend that you read more books on psychology or famous works such as If I Should Ever See the Light Again and One Hundred Years of Solitude. Take your time and enjoy the journey! Your wounded spirit is fragile right now, but with the right support, it will be stronger than ever.
Watch more beautiful stories or videos! And don't watch too much pessimistic stuff. Listen to music! Chinese musical instruments are also very beautiful, and so is Chinese dance. You'll slowly learn to discover all this amazing stuff!
Uncover your beauty, one step at a time! When you change your focus, you'll see that the past isn't so important and that life is absolutely beautiful!
It's easy to say, but it's harder to do. So find a reason that will always hold true and go for it! May you be free from worry, illness, and unhappiness!
Helpful to me 414
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Comments
I've been through a lot lately. It's been over three years since I last dated seriously. After the breakup in July 2018, everything felt different. In 2019, there was this man who showed interest and even visited my home once. I remember feeling so overwhelmed that I hid in my room. I wanted to be welcoming but just couldn't bring myself to interact.
In early 2021, my best friend's mom came to visit for about three months. Despite trying to make an effort, I found myself retreating into my room as soon as I got home, too drained to socialize. Even when we had those spicy snail rice dinners, I ate alone in my room with the door closed. I realized then how much warmth I was missing from my life.
Then near the end of 2021, I met someone new. I thought I was ready to move past my discomfort with men. We were intimate a few times, but each encounter left me feeling more isolated than connected. Eventually, we drifted apart. The next year, while hosting my best friend's friend, I kept the door open for her because she was scared of my friend's dog. This adjustment affected my sleep pattern, leaving me restless. Only now am I seeing how these events are linked, pointing to some underlying issues with my mental health. I'm not sure what it all means or where to start addressing it.
It's hard to pinpoint when things started to feel off. Since my breakup in 2018, my interactions with people have been strained. A guy approached me in 2019, and I remember hiding away during his visit. My behavior baffled me; I longed for connection yet pushed everyone away. When my best friend's mother stayed over in 2021, I tried to engage but ended up isolating myself again. Even eating became a solitary activity. Meeting someone new towards the end of that year gave me hope, but our relationship only highlighted my unresolved issues. Last year, accommodating a guest's fear of dogs disrupted my routine and made me realize something is wrong with my mental state.
Reflecting on the past few years, I notice a pattern of isolation and discomfort around others. Since my significant breakup in 2018, I've struggled to maintain relationships. When someone showed interest in 2019, I retreated instead of embracing the opportunity. My best friend's mom's visit in 2021 should have been a pleasant experience, but it reinforced my tendency to withdraw. Even with the man I liked, intimacy didn't bridge the emotional gap I felt. And when hosting a friend of a friend in 2022, my own habits of seclusion persisted. Now, I see these moments as signs of deeper mental health challenges that I need to address.