The girl kept asking to pay for a chat on the software. What was going on?

Hello, dear question asker!

I'm here to help!

I wish I could give you more advice on paid online chat in just a short description of 300 words or so. But I hope I can chat with you a little in my answer and show you there are more possibilities when you're feeling doubtful and worried.

"It's not your fault if you've been cheated on."

I can see that you're asking yourself, "What is this situation?" But when you came here to describe it, you already had an answer in your heart. It's just that you can't face the result alone with a clear mind. You still need some care and help from everyone to get through this difficult time together.

"I've been paying for chats on the app," "I've spent 600 yuan," "I'm afraid the money will go to waste and she's a liar." When you say things like this, it's clear that this is not the best way to build a relationship. We all want to be loved and respected, and if you do encounter a cheater, it's important to remember that it's not your fault.

[Appropriate psychological adjustment can help reduce harm]

If someone is cheated on, they usually go through three stages: first, they might not believe it or admit it; second, they might feel a flood of negative emotions like shame, self-blame, and remorse; and third, they might feel low for a while after. It's important to pay special attention to the latter two stages. They can talk to their friends and family or get help from a professional.

It's so important to take care of yourself during this time. Try to regulate your psychological tolerance, release pent-up emotions, and reduce self-attack and harm.

[Every experience helps us grow and learn!]

It's clear from your description that you're really eager for intimacy and that you're not getting it in real life. When you met a stranger on the Internet, after 20 days of chatting with her, you haven't met in person yet. You were impressed by the other person and confessed your love to her. You've even invested money and true feelings to maintain the relationship.

I know this experience might be disappointing, but it can also remind you to be more careful and to focus on your own happiness in the real world.

I really hope the original poster will come back to the real world and find the love that is rightfully theirs!

There are many dating and matchmaking apps. Are they all scams? No, because each is different. You can only know by trying them.

Some software requires payment to become a member.

You have to spend money to experience more functions. These are all clearly marked prices. This girl doesn't scam you for money. She just relies on the platform to charge a fee because she spends a lot of time chatting with you.

She doesn't want to chat with you on WeChat because she doesn't think it's necessary. She can chat with the opposite sex and earn money on this app. So why switch to WeChat to chat with you for free?

Have you asked if they want to be friends or more? Are they just hanging out with you?

If you want to be friends, don't add each other on WeChat. You should only add each other on if the other person really likes you and wants to be your partner in real life.

You'll probably stop using this social platform and start using WeChat instead. This girl has been asking you to pay for chatting on the software. She's been paying for chatting on the Xinyu software. She might just be stringing you along.

She just wants you to spend money on her. Some women may feel that you must spend a lot of money on them to show that you care. When you suspect that the other person is lying, the relationship may be over.

Your relationship is based on money and distrust. It's not like a normal relationship. Think about it.

Have you met in person? Do you know if the other person is really that kind of person?

There are many people online who can pretend to be someone they're not. This is dangerous, so get help.

Good luck.

ZQ?

Just a heads-up: A very small percentage of chat software charges a fee.

You can only really tell the difference between free and paid services after you've used them yourself.

Some dating apps charge a fee to screen out people who aren't really looking to make friends. As long as it's a big platform, there will be more or less fraud.

I'd like to share some examples of fraud cases I've seen at the Anti-Fraud Center.

It's worth noting that many women on chat apps are actually chatting with a group of people who are swiping, both men and women.

They have a complete process and extremely well-developed sales techniques, and they've also formed a group on WeChat to answer questions about dating so they can keep people engaged.

Most of them are either mothers or students, and these two groups have relatively more free time. The platform charges a fee, and they make money from the cut.

The girl I liked on a paid dating app added me on WeChat.

If someone really likes you, they'll probably switch to chatting on WeChat.

It's not feasible to let the platform continue to drain your resources. The fact that the other person can give you WeChat is probably just to put your mind at ease.

It's also easy to pretend online to be someone who can provide high emotional intelligence and high emotional value.

And a liar never makes you feel like you're lying.

In my opinion, it's best to find a boyfriend or girlfriend in real life.

At the very least, you know the person well on a blind date.

When you meet in person, you can get a better sense of who likes and dislikes you.

Wishing you the best.

Hello, question asker.

I can see that you're feeling a bit anxious. It seems like you're torn between your desire to chat with this girl and your reservations about paying for it. I can also see that you have a soft spot for her because she has a high emotional quotient. Talking to her makes you feel accepted, appreciated, cared for, and in short, very comfortable.

"I feel that she has a high emotional quotient, and I like her in other ways too. I hope to go out with her and ask her to add me on WeChat, but she was reluctant to do so. In the end, she did add me, but she doesn't want to chat on WeChat and keeps asking me to pay for chat on the Heart Encounter app."

It's understandable to have concerns. Not all apps are like this, but many are. They use the guise of dating to get customers to top up their accounts. If she were genuinely interested in going out with you, she would likely be willing to do it on WeChat. It's possible that her primary objective is to get you to top up your account, which could affect her performance.

Could you tell me a little more about her? Have you had the chance to meet in person?

It might be worth considering whether everything she tells you is true. It's possible that there's more to the story.

Perhaps you could try telling her, in a sincere and honest way, that if you were dating and we had confirmed the relationship, you would also give her gifts. I'm not reluctant to spend money, but I feel that we can talk more freely on WeChat. If you were to try this, she might stop chatting. It might be helpful to put yourself in her shoes for a moment. If you really like someone and want to develop a relationship with them, would you limit it to paid chat on a certain platform?

2. It might be helpful to be aware of your true inner needs.

From a psychological perspective, it's important to recognize that every action we take is driven by a deeper motive, often rooted in our most fundamental desires. I couldn't help but notice that you mentioned how she has a high emotional quotient, and that when you chat with her, you feel understood, supported, cared for, and accepted.

It's possible that what you lack most in reality is someone who understands, accepts, supports, and encourages you. So now that someone like this has appeared, it's understandable that you're interested in pursuing a relationship with them. When something is lacking, it's natural to seek it out. This girl seems to have identified a need in you and is encouraging you to recharge your account. It's a possibility.

3. Might you be inclined to idealize the other person?

There is a well-known psychological phenomenon called the halo effect, which plays a role in how we perceive others. It tends to occur in the early stages of a relationship, when people who are deeply in love may perceive their partner as having only positive qualities and no flaws.

It's possible that you're simply drawn to one aspect of the other person's character, and the halo effect makes you feel like they have many other positive qualities. But is that really the case?

It's important to remember that nobody is perfect. As time goes by and the halo effect fades, you may find that she has flaws, just like the rest of us. So what I want to tell you is that you haven't been chatting for long, you haven't met in person, you kind of like her a little, and at this time you are completely overwhelmed by her understanding and acceptance of you. It is very likely that you are overly idealizing her, which is also related to the halo effect.

I hope this is of some help to you.

Hello!

You feel torn and anxious because chatting with a woman on a chat app feels good. You want a long-term relationship, but you are afraid of being cheated on.

1. Take the time to explore your true inner needs.

It could be WeChat chat or any other form, but what you need may be to enter into an intimate relationship with the opposite sex.

You have an inner need to be understood, cared for, accepted, and appreciated by the opposite sex, regardless of how it starts. At the end of the day, you need to face reality.

So you can first put aside the form of the chat tool and explore your true inner needs in the moment. Knowing this may help you understand how to achieve self-fulfillment in the future.

2. Focus more on developing relationships in reality and getting satisfaction at the real level.

After all, the Internet is a virtual world and just a tool for us. Sometimes it can make us feel unreal, like when you feel understood, accepted, cared for, and appreciated by the girl on the Internet and feel like a genius with her. There may be an element of unreality in this, which comes partly from your own projections and partly from the non-reality of the Internet itself.

If you understand your true inner needs and still want to find a partner in reality, you can focus more on reality and simply treat online chat tools as a tool, without relying on them too much.

3. Try to calm down and make sensible decisions.

The girl is pushing to chat with you on this software. She might just want to attract investment for the platform, as you think. Or, she might not have built trust yet and wants to keep a distance.

Don't let your own desires lead you astray. There's no need to fixate on something that's not realistic. Stay rational and make your own wise choices.

I hope Hongyu's reply helps you out. Thanks for asking!

Who pays for the call if one person initiates it?

Or do both parties pay for the call, regardless of who initiated it? It depends. If you think there is a need to continue,

If the platform pays for everything, you must convince the girl to agree to communicate offline. Girls may be more suspicious, as it takes courage to go from online to offline.

Give the girl time and show sincerity. You don't want to spend money on her?

The answer is yes. You need to set your own limits. You are willing to spend money, but you have a limit. You can talk to the girl about your limits, like time.

Why do you want to develop offline?

If you two agree, it's natural to develop your relationship offline. If the girl won't trust you, you should end it.

If the platform only requires the caller to pay, the girl just wants to chat and doesn't want to talk even after adding you on WeChat.

Why pay to chat on WeChat? You know why.

It's up to you. You decide how much you're willing to pay and how much time you're willing to spend to satisfy your own sense of enjoyment. I believe you are an adult and will make your own choice!

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I tend to be modest and self-effacing, and I try to maintain that demeanor consistently.

It would be wise to pay attention to yourself and not lose sight of your goals.

From your description, I can see that you are sincere, while the other person seems less so. Paid chats on dating apps are a business tactic used by many companies. Men are often required to pay, while women are not, and this can be a way for businesses to make money, which attracts many single, high-quality young women. However, only the most experienced practitioners fully understand how it works.

However, nothing is absolute. Some people may gain certain emotions through this kind of paid chat, but we have no way of knowing if we are the lucky ones. For this reason, it is still recommended that the questioner consider the following in depth. In recent years, there have been countless online incidents in the name of finding a partner and falling in love, and it would be wise to exercise a certain level of vigilance.

While the truth may be a little harsh, it's important to recognize the issue early on. How to handle this is up to you to decide. Since you have WeChat, you might consider contacting the other person via WeChat to assess their sincerity.

It might be the case that not all of the information you have access to is entirely accurate. It would therefore be advisable to remain vigilant and to exercise caution.

It might be helpful to focus on the present and reality.

I'm not sure how old you are this year, or what your original intention was for entering a dating app. If it's just for fun or to see the glamorous world, that's perfectly fine and a great way to meet new people. But if you're looking for a long-term partner, I would suggest paying attention to the present and reality. You can always go to a local matchmaking agency or some other institution where you can meet real people to find out more.

In the online world, it's important to recognize that there is a distinction between truth and falsehood. It's not always easy to ascertain whether the person on the other side of the screen is who they claim to be. It's therefore wise to take what we can get our hands on, maintain vigilance, and do our best to live up to our intentions. It's always beneficial to start with what's within reach. In the online world, it's crucial to develop the ability to defend ourselves.

I understand that facing the truth may be challenging for you, but I believe it is the only way forward. The truth is the truth, and I hope you can accept it with a positive attitude. I also hope that you will meet the person you truly want to meet soon.

Naturally, if the girl you admire is willing to spend time and energy with you, our expenses are also worthwhile, and ordinary expenses are acceptable.

I hope this finds you well. Please accept my best regards.

Hello, I'm Strawberry.

Given the questioner's confessions and troubles, and in response to the questioner's question, it's hard to know what you really think. Thanks to the internet, we can now achieve many things online. I don't know if the questioner has seen many people following some live broadcasts on the internet and sending gifts to the broadcasters. When they see other people sending them gifts, of course they thank them and also express their fondness for these fans who often send them gifts.

What kind of relationship is this? Is it romantic?

It's worth noting that in the context of live broadcasts, the other person may not necessarily remember the name of someone who frequently sends them gifts, nor do they know what the other person looks like. There's a real possibility that they may have fallen in love with the other person because of the gifts. We all know ourselves well, and this fondness is merely the result of money.

Take a look at the situation and see what you think.

The questioner said they met on a paid app and had to pay to chat. This was a relationship based on mutual interests from the start. The other person's communication style and emotional intelligence in responding might have attracted the questioner, so they felt a good impression towards the other person. During the time they kept in touch, the questioner felt that the other person responded so enthusiastically to them, and thought that the other person also had a good impression of them.

After the questioner shared his thoughts, the other person sent the questioner's WeChat contact information, but she often mentioned that she still wanted to contact him through the previous software. In this regard, her attitude is clear. She's saying that she can keep in touch and chat with him, but that they'll have to use paid software for that. She'll also chat with other people if they pay. So, he's not special to her. She's just trying to get him used to finding her to chat with.

So, the questioner should think about whether to keep contacting her, because we don't know if she'll really consider you or just drag you along to keep you hoping for something.

Show your attitude.

When the questioner wanted to chat with the other person on WeChat, the other person accused the questioner of not being willing to spend money on her. It seemed like if the questioner didn't pay to chat with the other person, it would really be the case that she didn't value the other person. This was misleading. When we care about someone and have a good impression of someone, we would prefer not to be financially involved with the other person because money can affect the relationship between the two people.

You can always spend money on the other person elsewhere, rather than on paid software. The questioner chats with her on paid software, which means that the questioner is willing and she is also at ease with it. Even if there is anything afterwards, she can say that she has paid to get what she deserves.

If you really want to know what the other person is thinking, you can make your attitude clear and ask them to chat on WeChat. This way, you can see if they're willing to give you their time, rather than making you wait forever. You can also get a sense of whether they're genuinely interested in becoming friends or if they're just trying to find a reason not to lose your business.

☀ Clear your mind

After chatting with the other person for a while, the questioner felt happy chatting with the other person, so the questioner thought that he was falling in love with her. In fact, sometimes the good feelings we have for someone are not love, but just a kind of good feeling of finding a confidant and a suitable listener for ourselves. Before we get to know each other very well, we will feel that the other person is the one we are looking for, because the other person understands us and can easily fill that need in our hearts. This may be the soulmate we are looking for.

As the questioner said, the other person is great at chatting and their responses show they have a high emotional quotient. Has the questioner ever thought that all of this can be learned through study? Communication is an art, so if you want to gain a person's good impression of you, learning to communicate well is an important thing. The questioner also met the other person on a chat app, and the other person has also learned this knowledge in a systematic way.

If you get back to reality and interact with the other person, you might realize that they're not as perfect as you thought. We can only get to know each other better through reality. If the other person keeps leading the questioner on, the questioner can probably guess what the other person wants. Don't be affected by the other person's spotlight effect and think for yourself about this relationship.

The projection effect is when we attribute our own characteristics to other people. This happens when we form impressions of others and think they have similar characteristics to us.

The projection effect is when we attribute our own characteristics to other people. It's a cognitive phenomenon where we think others have similar characteristics to us. We project our own emotions, will, and characteristics onto others and impose them on them. It's like putting ourselves in others' shoes. (This explanation comes from Baidu.)

Sometimes when we meet an outstanding person and develop a favorable impression of them, it may be because we ourselves want to become like that person. We have also had fleeting moments when interacting with the other person, thinking to ourselves, "If only I could be that good too!" So the questioner can also learn to develop the same abilities, and then see if their fondness is for the other person's abilities or the other person as a person.

I'd suggest checking out [Communication Psychology] and [Learn some eloquence every day] to help you work through this. Once you've got a better handle on your communication skills, you might realize that you've been a bit too idealistic about the other person. I hope this helps!

Hello, question asker! I'm Jia'ao, and I'm here to help.

After reading through your questions, I could tell you've been through a lot! It sounds like you met a girl on a dating app who you really hit it off with. She seems like a great person, and you feel good about the relationship. You haven't met in person yet, but she's not willing to add WeChat to chat and keeps asking to pay to chat on that app. I can understand why you're confused, but I'm here to help!

Let's dive in and figure this out together!

I can see you're feeling a bit torn and conflicted about this. It's totally normal! ❓ Various expressions of a girl that make you feel conflicted and torn:

The other person is like a genius and you get along really well with them!

It sounds like you have to pay for the chat, but you still keep in touch every day, which is great!

The other person is really great at handling your emotions!

She's been chatting with you on a paid app, but she's been reluctant to add you on WeChat.

fifthly, she wants you to spend money on her and also says she'll consider going out with you.

6. You're feeling a little panicked, worried that the money might be wasted and even more concerned that she might not be who she says she is...

Sometimes, our intuition can also be misleading.

From what you've told me, it's clear you have a strong connection with this girl. You feel like you can get a lot of emotional value from her. She seems to be able to pick up on your good and bad emotions, and you're full of praise for her in every way. But she hasn't added you on WeChat to chat, and instead keeps asking you to pay to chat with her. This is what's making you feel panicked. You say you don't think she's a liar, but could that just be an illusion on your part? As the saying goes, "Those in the thick of it are blind, but those on the sidelines can see clearly." To us discerning people, it's obvious that she's just playing with you! It seems like she has no intention of getting involved with you in the future. You need to be very careful when chatting online, especially with these kinds of social software that require you to pay money. It's possible that she's chatting with several men at the same time, and making a lot of money that way!

Take a deep breath and stay calm and rational.

As we all know, online chat software makes money by sending gifts or charging money to create benefits for the platform. You've never seen the real appearance of the girls on it. What if they are women or picky guys? If you really want to find a partner, it's more reliable to meet them in person. Try to find a classmate, colleague, or friend nearby. It's better to know everything about them. Take a deep breath and think about it. Why has she been unwilling to add WeChat to chat?

Is there something you're not seeing here? If she really liked you and treated you like a friend, she would have happily started chatting with you on WeChat a long time ago. Why would she keep dragging you along?

It's okay to feel whatever you're feeling.

I know this is all a lot to take in, and I'm sorry if it makes you feel bad. It's totally normal to feel cheated or hurt when you're in this situation. What I want you to do is accept your emotions as they are. I know you've been analyzing the pros and cons, and I get it. You must have had some doubts, otherwise you wouldn't have been so anxious. You've been kept on the edge of your seat, and you must have been suspicious. You just want to come to the platform to confirm. You care about the other person, but the other person may not treat you as a friend. So you have to keep your eyes open and observe slowly. If you don't believe it for the time being, you can try to test her with questions: "I'm short of cash recently, why don't we add WeChat and chat?" You'll know her final response.

It's okay to feel stressed, but try to stay calm in a crisis.

It's important to remember that the girls on paid dating apps can sometimes be a bit unrealistic and unreliable. Those who earn more often have their own advantages, whether it's good looks, a pleasant voice, or high emotional intelligence and talent. The more the boys chat with them, the higher their click rate will be, and the price will also vary. Slowly, they may find themselves in a trap and unable to extricate themselves. Then the boys will have to spend their own money to chat with them and entertain them, and they'll probably be willing to do so. So take a deep breath and think about this matter carefully, and don't like blindly.

It's so important to communicate well!

If you really can't let go of your feelings for her, I would really recommend trying to communicate with her and being honest with each other. Ask her what she really thinks, and tell her your demands. If she really treats you as a friend, at least you can add her on WeChat, and you can give her gifts through other means. If she is willing to add you on WeChat, it means she doesn't just want to have fun with you. If she refuses outright, then there must be something wrong with her, and you can make up your mind then. I really hope this helps!

I really hope my answer helps! Sending you lots of love ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????�