The main character falls in love with an older man because he panics every day for no reason?

Hello, question asker!

From what you've said, it seems like you've fallen for an older brother and are feeling pretty panicky about it.

You say you're in love with this big brother, but are you sure that love is real? What do you love about your big brother?

Are the big brothers really that into you? Do they just want to hang out with you? I know a little bit about live streaming too. In the live streaming room, the big brothers are the ones who have been showered with gifts and have done a good job of promoting themselves.

I think you might be in love with the older brother's wealth. If you're willing to lower yourself, I bet the broadcast room will smile with you on the same mic. There are plenty of people who will accompany you every day.

Would you be willing to give them a chance to try?

As you mentioned, the big brother interacts with numerous anchors on the platform and also engages in flirtation with many people. The big brother also has a family, and it's not feasible for him to forego his family for you. What's the big brother's mentality?

What can the older brother get from the anchor? What need does the older brother satisfy by spending money here?

I told you about the older brothers, and now let's get back to the anchors. What do they like, and what are their needs?

Being an anchor is a job, and whether it can last depends on the big brothers in the broadcast room sending gifts to attract viewers. The more big brothers there are, the more gifts there are in the broadcast room, the higher the anchor's sense of self-worth, and naturally, the higher the income.

What's causing this panic?

If the other big brothers in the live broadcast room don't come to you for various reasons, would you also panic?

Are you freaking out because you're attached to him, or because the live broadcast room is attached to him?

Can you tell the difference between reality and virtuality? It seems like they're confused.

Is the need for a big brother a real need, or is it just what the virtual anchor wants?

What problems might your live broadcast face without this big brother? Could you pull it off without him?

Without this big brother, are you just a failed streamer? Are you afraid that your viewers will say that you can't even keep hold of one big brother?

Are you worried that people will say you're not good enough? Are you concerned that your live broadcast room won't gain a following?

Are you worried about failing and losing everything you've worked for?

If this big brother leaves and your live streaming room gets a few other big brothers who are even better than this one, will you still feel the same way?

So, your panic has little to do with how much you love this older brother.

Take a look at what you're really thinking and what's really driving your emotions.

I hope this helps.

Well done!

Hello, host.

It's great to have a fan who chats with you.

It makes the live broadcast room more fun and social, so the host doesn't feel alone. When broadcasting live, the host may feel lonely without fan interaction.

The host and fan relationship is a win-win. The host gets likes, gifts, and other things from fans, and fans get to enjoy cultural activities like singing, drawing, and dancing.

He has his family and his personal world, and the host cannot get involved in the other person's life. You're not married. Or maybe the other person just admires and likes you.

He might not keep his promises.

The host does his part well. He prepares for each live broadcast, creates a style, and makes the most of his strengths.

He has time to watch live streams because he doesn't have much else to do. He also has to take care of his family.

...And live streaming is the host's job. You can watch anyone's stream.

If the other person doesn't have money to give gifts, just talks and laughs with you, and you don't have much money, would the host still like them?

The other person has a family.

.

Be aware.

Some people will try to fool the host. If you trust the other person and they don't treat the host well, you'll be disappointed. It's better to be prepared for the live broadcast.

Good day, young lady. I can discern the confusion you are facing, and I offer you a hug.

You are currently experiencing some difficulties in your romantic relationships. Please allow me to offer you a warm embrace once more.

The subject displays a certain degree of emotional distress due to the awareness that romantic feelings towards the anchor are not a possibility. However, despite this awareness, the subject finds themselves unable to resist the temptation of displaying fond admiration towards the anchor.

Indeed, there is a specific psychological term that describes this phenomenon: "transference."

The term "transference" refers to a process whereby one projects emotions previously experienced towards significant individuals from the past onto another person or object.

(The above reference is from Zhihu.)

One might therefore posit that this anchor brother evokes memories of a significant figure in the subject's family, such as the subject's father.

It is possible that your feelings for this individual are based on admiration.

However, the aforementioned feelings of fond admiration have been erroneously interpreted as indications of fondness for the anchorman.

This is the reason for your emotional distress.

This indicates that it is certain that one cannot fall in love with the anchor; however, there is a recognition of feelings towards him, yet the source of the problem remains unknown.

In such a scenario, it would be advisable to seek the assistance of a qualified professional counselor.

It may be beneficial to consult with a counselor of the same gender to circumvent the phenomenon of transference.

Given the possibility that your current problem may fall within the scope of the original family, I am inclined to seek the assistance of a professional psychological counselor rather than an instant listener.

It is my sincere hope that you will be able to identify an effective solution to the problem you are facing as soon as possible.

At this juncture, I am unable to offer any further suggestions.

It is my sincere hope that the above responses prove both helpful and inspiring to you, the young lady. I am the answer, and I study assiduously each and every day.

At Yixinli, we extend our deepest sympathies to you and wish you the utmost success.

Good day.

It would seem that your emotions are rising and falling in response to his words and actions. It may be the case that you have already surrendered control of your emotions to another person.

It would seem that this is a common theme in many classical novels, which suggests that it may be a sign of the arrival of love.

It may also be observed that, in the context of a general environment of commercialization, many people, despite having no shortage of material things, may experience a sense of loss in their hearts. This could potentially be attributed to the possibility that mothers may not have provided them with sufficient love and guidance, which could have led to a lack of respect for women in their perceptions.

You may resort to frequent flirting with multiple women as a way of covering up a gap in your heart.

It would be wise to be cautious of the goodwill of online friends, as it may be the paternal love you received that has caused some trouble in your life.

It is worth noting that such experiences often leave a bittersweet aftertaste when reflected upon.

You deserve to be loved and cared for. If you didn't receive the nourishment of love during your upbringing, and were emotionally mistreated in the name of love "for your own good,"

This may lead you to seek support, recognition, and attention from society even more. You may desire warm looks and words that touch your heart and soul. Because your world is simple and pure.

In a woman's love, there is a giving and maternal quality, which requires a relaxed and appropriately carefree attitude. It also requires an ability to recognize the uninhibited nature of others.

It is important to protect yourself and take care of your emotions. It is not necessarily the case that someone who provides temporary emotional value is a soul mate.

Perhaps, in moments of clarity, you will be able to guide yourself in the direction of the world of emotions. However, when you plunge into the center of the whirlpool, it can be challenging to find a way out.

Your heart may make different sounds, and you have the option of how to listen.

If I may suggest, you might enjoy reading the biography of Eileen Chang as a way to temporarily escape the hustle and bustle with the company of words.

Dear, I see your conflict and turmoil, and I'm here to help. I'm going to give you a hug and give you strength. ?

You like someone. You are cautious, waiting until he is close. You are full of joy, but still cautious. He has a family, he plays around. You don't believe a word he promises.

But it's the way he smiles that makes you ignore the fact that he deceives you and lies to you.

If you do, you will be so humble that you will fall to the ground. You will always look up at him, and he will be there, reassuring you. But after looking up for a long time, you will not only get tired, but also sore.

You decided to stop looking up, but your heart is restless and you can't help but panic.

I want to know how this happened and what I should do about it.

First, you need to understand how this love happened.

You are also very confused about this. Let me be clear: I also find it strange why I like someone just because they smile at me.

Why do you fall head over heels for someone just because they smile at you? If someone else smiles at you, you will fall in love too.

Tell me, does his smile make you feel familiar? Have you longed for it before?

If you become aware of this, you will no longer be confused and will be able to face this love affair of yours.

Secondly, discover why you're always so anxious now that you've decided to let go.

You say, "My heart is tired. I want to let go unilaterally, but I'm anxious about him every day for no reason. What's the signal?"

You're tired of the heart and you want to let go unilaterally.

Read it. How does it make you feel? You can sense the betrayal.

He is God, and he is wonderful, high, and mighty. I worship, adore, and believe in him. You may argue that he has flaws, but those are the truths that we reveal after we have worshipped and then dropped him to the ground again.

These truths are what make us feel better.

Fortunately, you can always throw him to the ground after worshipping him.

Betrayed God, panicked?

You panic every day for no reason because of him.

You already know the answer to this question. That smiling guy is the white horse in your heart because of him.

Jung called them "anima." The anima possesses all the good characteristics that women think men have. Every woman's anima is different.

A woman will feel an undeniable connection to her soulmate's traits, and when she meets a man who mirrors her soulmate, she will be instantly drawn to him.

Such people appear in our line of sight every day. They may not be able to do anything, but their mere presence makes life sunny and their hearts full and stable. Then, suddenly, the sunshine is gone, the fullness and stability are gone, and no one knows what the future will hold.

In the face of such uncertainty, there's no way anyone can remain calm and collected without any inner turmoil.

Think about it. What signal are your heart palpitations releasing?

It's time to figure out what to do. Here's some advice.

In life, there are people who can support you, whether they be relatives, friends, or girlfriends. Talk to them, have fun, and release pent-up emotions.

If you have always had no time for the things you like, then go and do them. Feel the joy and satisfaction in the process, and fill the emptiness in your heart.

Write about this experience in the third person. Begin with, "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young girl who fell in love with a married man..." Then, read it carefully and take note of what you notice.

If none of the above methods work and you can't find a good way to get yourself out of it, you need to find a professional counselor who will help you.

You are wise, brave girl. Find your true white horse and reap joy and happiness. I hug you again.

We're all behind you, so go get 'em!

Hello!

I am a heart exploration coach, and learning is the treasure of the body!

From your description, I can feel your inner worries, panic, fear, confusion, exhaustion, pain, and helplessness, and I'm here to help you through it all!

I'm not going to get into the difficulties that can come with falling for an older man with a family, but I'd love to help you analyze the cause of your panic for your reference!

For one thing, you get really excited every day when you think about him, probably because you are so happy to have him in your life.

You also said that you don't believe in the promise he gave you, and that he has a family, so "it's absolutely impossible" for you two to get together. But that doesn't mean your feelings for him are in vain!

People are full of contradictions, and that's what makes them so fascinating! You know that being with him is impossible, but there is a very real possibility that a glimmer of hope remains in the bottom of your heart, hoping that your feelings of love and affection can become a reality. So once you think about "unrequited love," you become scared and panicked—but that's okay! It just means you're feeling all the feels.

Second, you get all kinds of exciting butterflies in your tummy every day when you think about him! You may also be worried that you are getting deeper and deeper and unable to extricate yourself.

You also said in your description that you couldn't figure out why you liked him because he smiled at you (he smiled at you, you liked him, and it probably made you feel affirmed and loved. Perhaps you grew up with few people who recognized you, and you were more likely to receive blame and rejection, all from people who were very harsh. So you felt healed by his smile and that's why you like him so much), and you can't help yourself!

So, when you think of him smiling at you, you are filled with excitement and anticipation. You can't help but feel a rush of love and get more and more deeply involved. You know that such love is unlikely to have a happy ending, but you're okay with that.

Third, every day you think about him, and you get excited, perhaps even out of fear of what you would do if he did keep his promise.

In other words, your inner worries may also include not knowing how to deal with being with him — but there's no need to worry!

The truth is, you are excited about being together and you are excited about not being together, which is why you get so worked up when you think about him!

I've got three suggestions for you on how to get out of your situation!

First, try to accept your situation because doing so will make you feel a little more relaxed, which will help you think about what to do next.

The good news is that you can change your situation! All you have to do is accept it. It may sound contradictory, but that is the way it is. Change is based on allowing for no change.

Second, it's time to take a good, hard look at your own state of mind!

And the great thing is, rational thinking allows you to better understand yourself and reality!

You absolutely can change the status quo because you are in control of your own destiny!

When you exercise your subjective initiative, something amazing happens: your state naturally changes!

Once again, focus on yourself and think about all the amazing things you can do to make yourself feel better!

For example, when you feel anxious thinking about him, don't try to stop the thoughts in your head. Just let them flow naturally and see what you're really afraid of. This kind of free association may well make you realize that the things that worry you won't happen! Even if they do, you'll probably be able to deal with them.

You can also tell yourself, "It's almost impossible for me to be with him. I need to live my own life," etc., when you feel panicked about him. This way, your attention is focused on yourself, and you become less afraid and worried. At the same time, you will slowly "detach" from him.

You can also recall how you felt when he smiled at you, and then try to find a way to experience that feeling again in some other way. For example, you could find another boy who smiles a lot, or get a cat or a dog, etc. This may also heal you, and in that way your mood will also improve, because you have found a substitute.

You can also try to distract yourself when you feel anxious about him. See what happens. Go for a workout, listen to some music, etc. It may make you feel better. In short, you need to know that you can do something to improve the situation, and you can!

When you start to take action, something amazing happens: the various negative emotions in your heart will naturally be resolved! And you know what? Action is sometimes the enemy of various negative emotions.

I really hope my answer helps you! If you want to chat some more, just click on "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation" at the bottom and I'll be in touch!

Hello, question asker!

We like someone, and after getting to know them, we realize there's no future for us. We get tired and want to let go. But we panic.

We like someone, and after getting to know them, we realize there's no future for us. We get tired and want to let go. But we panic.

I'd be happy to walk you through this, and I hope it's helpful.

1. Take a moment to understand why you like someone.

You say, "I like the way he laughs because he loves to laugh," and we're always impressed or attracted by someone.

You say, "I like the way he laughs because he loves to laugh," and we're always impressed or attracted by someone.

This person becomes really special to us.

It's like the rose that the Little Prince takes such good care of in the story "The Little Prince." We've put a lot of effort into it, so it's hard for anyone else to compare.

It's important to understand your own likes.

It's possible that we're projecting all kinds of wonderful fantasies onto this person.

It's also possible that this older brother has some attractive qualities.

There are actually clues to be found in what kind of person we like.

We can also use this chance to figure out why we like him.

Could it be that he's mature?

Is he charming and good at connecting with people, or does he have a great laugh?

There's nothing wrong with liking someone.

There's nothing wrong with liking someone.

You know that, even though you like him, he can't give you the preferential treatment you're hoping for.

He'll also deceive you, so your decision to unilaterally let go is also the result of careful consideration.

2. Look at how you're feeling.

You say, "I'm panicking for no reason every day because of him, and I'm really troubled by what this panic is actually signaling." We've liked someone for about six months, and they've taken the initiative to get close to you.

You say, "I'm panicking for no reason every day because of him, and I'm troubled by what this panic really signals." We've liked someone for about half a year, and they've taken the initiative to get close to you.

When we're ready to move on, there will be some uncomfortable reactions along the way.

It's like we're paying attention to someone every day, but now we're being asked to let go and stop paying attention. If our hearts aren't fully prepared for this for the time being, it's like we're stuck in a rut, and we won't be able to adapt.

It's similar to the concept of the comfort zone that people often discuss. It's not necessarily comfortable, but it's just what we're used to.

We're used to having someone in our lives who, even if they're having an affair with another host, we know we can't believe a word they say when they make a promise. But at the end of the day, you've always liked them. It's like we know what to do intellectually, but emotionally we feel uncomfortable, panicked, etc.

Some people say that love is a series of chemical reactions in the brain, an emotional process.

Some guys who give gifts to girls and try to please them don't necessarily succeed in falling in love because they don't get the girls to feel the way they want them to.

However, guys who often argue with girls often end up having successful relationships with them because they get the girls to open up emotionally.

We like to see the person smile. It's an emotional response, not rational thinking.

3. Get to know love.

I think you have a pretty good idea of what kind of intimate relationship you want.

It's just that we don't always get what we want from someone we like.

Stendhal put forward three elements of love:

Passion, intimacy, and commitment.

I think that when you like someone, even if it doesn't work out, you learn a lot about yourself and what you want.

It'll help us figure out what kind of person we like, what we value, and so on.

We love someone and we grow as people.

So, the current situation is nothing out of the ordinary.

Give yourself a boost by moving on from relationships that don't bring you much joy. And remember, you'll find an intimate relationship that's mutually rewarding and fulfilling in the future.

Please feel free to share these.

If you're interested, you can check out "Intimacy – A Bridge to the Soul."

Best wishes!

Hello, young lady! I'm so honored to be able to answer your question on this platform. After reading your question, I'd love to give you a warm hug (づ ●─● )づ.

Reading your question, I felt a bit anxious, jealous, and confused inside. It also reminded me of something my wonderful psychological counselor often says: humans have three main ways of showing love—smiles, hugs, and likes.

When he smiles at you, it's his way of showing he likes you or is admiring you. And when he adds you on WeChat, video chats with you, and often comes to the live broadcast room to look for you, it makes you feel that he cares about you (or that you're loved). So, it's totally normal for you to like him!

It's totally normal for him to "play games" with other editors and "brush gifts" that make you feel "uncomfortable." It's because you have "possessive" feelings for him! You hope that his "love" is a special "exception" for you, not "universal" "philanthropy," right?

It's totally normal to want to let go unilaterally, but it's also totally normal to feel panicked. This panic can also be regarded as fear, and fear is okay!

I know you know it'll never work out with him, but you've spent so much time on him after all. And you have indeed received his "love" before. It's like a tasteless chicken rib, not tasty enough to eat but too bad to throw away. I totally get it. You're afraid that you'll never receive such "love" again, right?

Your question reminds me of the "Six Laws of Problem Solving" I learned in psychology class, and I really hope it can help you!

Your problem is not the problem, but your attitude towards it is. You've made the great choice to expose your problem on this platform to seek help from everyone, rather than hiding like an ostrich. This is already the first step towards solving the problem. In this regard, I give you a big thumbs up and a round of applause!

I promise you, there is a solution to any problem. In fact, your situation of "online dating" is not uncommon. I have people around me who were once addicted to "online dating," and they're doing great now!

I really believe you can too! It might take a little time, but you can get through this. There are so many people out there who have been in your situation and have come out the other side. You can do it!

If this road is blocked, don't worry! There's always another way. Now that you know it's not going to work out with him, it's totally normal to feel a bit stuck.

So, why don't you try changing the subject? For example, the platform is so big. Is he the only one who is willing to come to your live broadcast room and smile at you?

If you can attract him, surely you can attract someone else? Or maybe you could try to find love in reality?

I'm sure you'll agree that there are at least three solutions to any problem. And they all have three strategies: top, middle, and bottom. So, I'd like you to try to think of three solutions to this problem.

Any problem is here to help you grow. It's like a challenge that you can overcome! The fact that you can encounter problems now means that your original "software" needs to be "upgraded." This is a "growth opportunity" that God has given you, so don't miss this opportunity!

This man is also here to help you grow and to make you understand one thing: you will only receive love from others if you first learn to love yourself! I can see you're feeling anxious and panicked because of someone who may not necessarily love you. Have you ever thought that you might have given the key to love into his hands instead of keeping it in your own hands?

Any major problem can be broken down into smaller ones and solved one by one. For example, you can try to break down your panic into smaller problems: 1. You will never meet a man like him again who will come to your live broadcast room to send you gifts and play with you; 2. You will never have anyone to give you charming smiles again; 3. You will never have anyone to love you again... Then, you can find solutions to these smaller problems one by one.

There are just three things in this world: your own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of the heavens. It's totally up to you whether you like him or not. And it's his business whether he can give you a smile or go to your live broadcast room to play with you by sending gifts. Who you meet in this life depends on your fate, which is the affair of the heavens.

You just need to do your own thing, ignore other people's business, and follow the will of God! I know it can be tough, but I'm here for you.

I promise you, once you've done all this, you'll see that all the things worrying you today are nothing to worry about!

I wish you the very best of luck!