Good morning,
Thank you for inviting me. I am Shu Ya Qingzheng, and I hope to provide you with some valuable support.
I would like to begin by congratulating you on your recovery from years of depression. It is evident that you have gained a great deal of personal growth and enrichment. You are to be commended for your resilience and positive outlook.
If you can maintain focus on the present, you can anticipate future opportunities for a fulfilling and joyful relationship.
In the initial stages of romantic interest, a person's positive or negative emotional expressions can evoke a strong emotional response. Despite the emotional immaturity and incomprehensibility of these feelings when viewed through the lens of the present,
The majority of individuals experience their first love as an enduring source of joy, despite the potential for the object of their affection to lack tangible reality or be difficult to comprehend.
Perhaps you lack the courage to express it, but that moment evokes a fluttering heart and a sense of happiness. First love is pure and wonderful.
You have the option of either maintaining the positive feelings or allowing them to dissipate.
As we have matured, it is essential to confront and cultivate the present.
Secondly, the topic of being influenced by someone you like is pertinent to the current stage of life.
According to Erikson's psychosocial development theory, the period between the ages of 20 and 40 represents the sixth stage of life, which is the intimacy vs. isolation stage.
In our early adulthood, we gradually gain insight into our identity. We begin to disengage from the relationships formed in our early years to align with the group.
We inquire as to our capacity to love another individual. Should we be able to make a long-term commitment, we experience a sense of confidence and happiness.
In the absence of an intimate relationship, feelings of isolation and loneliness may arise.
Friends or partners play an important role in our development at this stage.
According to our own upbringing and the influence of literature on us, we will have some understanding of love. It is understood that everyone's love has its own unique and beautiful qualities that make our hearts flutter, full of sweetness and romance, and let us experience the taste of happiness.
As previously stated by the instructor, love also has its own set of rules and characteristics, including passion, intimacy, and commitment.
Fortunately, through courses and articles, we can gain a deeper understanding of love and enhance our capacity to love and be loved.
In regard to the influence of a person you are interested in, it can be considered separately. The aspect that compels you to observe every action of the individual in question is undoubtedly a positive influence. However, there may also be a negative influence, such as feelings of distress caused by an emotional response that is not beneficial.
By way of illustration, the positive effect of the individual in question's WeChat exercise is as follows: the individual in question is perceived as loving life and as being cute.
The other issue is that excessive, uncontrollable attention can result in a sense of loss.
Ultimately, how can we more effectively establish and maintain a positive and fulfilling intimate relationship without experiencing undue stress or distress?
The appeal of love is that it encourages us to fully commit to our partners, so it is important to allow yourself to experience the positive aspects of a relationship while also addressing any challenges that may arise.
It is important to understand what qualities are most attractive to you and what you want your love and marriage to be like.
It is essential to embrace self-acceptance and align one's inner feelings and needs with external expectations. This is a fundamental aspect of all relationships, as it ensures a foundation of self-care and self-growth.
It is only when we have a full appreciation of ourselves that we can provide the foundation for a healthy relationship.
To foster positive interpersonal relationships and effective communication, it is essential to learn to share and express. The author of "The Art of Communication" emphasizes the importance of adjusting oneself, expressing oneself reasonably, and establishing relationships.
This book is also divided into three sections, each of which addresses a key aspect of relationship management:
? Focus on self-awareness and an understanding of one's own role, perceptions, and emotions in communication.
The next step is to consider factors related to the other person, including language, non-verbal communication, and active listening.
In examining interpersonal dynamics, the primary focus is on the relationship between individuals. Rather than fixating on specific actions, attention is directed towards the relationship itself, the communication environment, and potential areas of conflict.
To establish a positive and productive intimate relationship, it is essential to cultivate an attitude of understanding, sincerity, equality, and respect.
Furthermore, there is a shared direction and objective for both parties, along with the flexibility for each to pursue their individual interests.
Reading can provide the opportunity to develop independent thinking skills, enhance emotional well-being, and enhance one's ability to enjoy love and life.
It is recommended that you read some psychology books on personal growth and romantic relationships.
For example, we would suggest the following books: "If Only I Knew Before Marriage," "The Art of Communication," and "Intimacy, the Key to a Soul Mate."
I extend my best wishes to you and hope to be of assistance.
As a heart exploration coach at Yixinli, I am available for one-on-one communication via the "Find a coach" option in the upper right corner or at the bottom of the page.
Comments
I can totally relate to your feelings of projecting ideals onto someone you admire. Recognizing this pattern is already a big step forward. It's important to channel that energy into selfgrowth and finding security within yourself.
Understanding that our past experiences shape how we view love and relationships is crucial. It sounds like therapy has helped you gain valuable insights. Focusing on building a secure relationship with yourself can really help in not seeking validation externally.
It's inspiring how much you've reflected on your concept of love. Maybe it's time to explore what brings you joy independently of others. Engaging in activities that fulfill you can shift the focus from external validation to personal satisfaction.
Your journey shows great resilience and selfawareness. Perhaps setting boundaries with people who trigger these intense emotions could be beneficial. Learning to enjoy solitude might also strengthen your sense of selfworth and reduce emotional dependency.
You're so right about love transcending age and status. It seems like acknowledging that your previous feelings were based on a need for security marks a turning point. Investing in friendships and community might offer the support you seek without the pressure of romantic involvement.