We were classmates and are now colleagues. Is he doing this because he needs something from me?

Given how much time you've spent together, from classmates to colleagues, you should have mutual trust. It's rare to maintain such a long-lasting connection.

The other person wants to be a good colleague and friend to you. It's difficult to have a stable relationship in the workplace, so you should cherish this.

You've known each other since you were classmates, so you can be each other's pillar and support. When you encounter difficulties, you can ask each other for help, which is crucial for your future survival in the workplace.

The workplace is full of intrigue and competitive pressures. Some people rely on their skills to achieve better goals and positions, while others rely on their own diligence and hard work to rise in their functions.

Many of those who have been promoted and received a pay rise have inherited their positions through family connections.

They have excellent positions and seem relaxed, while most people are probably neither the best nor the hardest working. In this context, if someone can help you and is willing to make you better, we should cherish this friendship.

This kind of collegiality is something to be cherished. He may lecture you on various controls at work, but he also takes care of your emotions, helps you, chats with you, and helps each other. This is a very obvious example of collegiality. There's no need to overthink or speculate.

Right now, it's crucial to evaluate each other's positions based on the facts. The more pure the relationship in the workplace, the more it benefits both parties in terms of future growth. It's in everyone's best interest to avoid adding emotional complications to the workplace dynamic with colleagues. It's time to get back to work and maintain a professional demeanor. I advise you to speak with a counselor about your views and consider the pros and cons, as well as the potential for future shifts in your workplace role. Best of luck!

ZQ?

Good morning, I am writing in response to your query. Kind regards,

My name is Kelly.

[You and he are colleagues and classmates]

Please clarify whether you and the other individual were colleagues or classmates when you initially met.

Or is there a possibility that one party is following the other into the same apartment complex?

If it is merely a coincidence, then it is also fortuitous to be acquainted with classmates, and the relationship is also secure.

Let us assume that the other party has positive feelings towards you, but is hesitant to take the initiative due to concerns about potential negative consequences.

It is important to carefully protect this relationship.

The questioner can also be made aware of this.

He is highly attuned to your emotional state.

The original poster stated that he provides you with lectures, displays impatience, and attempts to exert control over you.

Preaching is an indication of his level of interest in you. Would he engage in such behavior with other individuals?

If I were in your position, I would refrain from further communication with someone who does not demonstrate interest or concern.

Impatient: I understand impatience as being indicative of anxiety. His expression of emotions, for example, when parents see that their children can't do their homework, is more indicative of anxiety than impatience.

It is possible that the other person may be attempting to exert control over you, although this may be done unconsciously.

Furthermore, you both demonstrate keen perceptiveness. He is attuned to your emotional shifts, and you are similarly attuned to his.

I am pleased to see your achievements.

Individuals who genuinely care about you will be pleased to see you grow and develop. It is evident that the other person is open-minded and broad-minded.

Even if a positive relationship develops between us, I believe it would be a positive outcome.

[Identify areas of improvement and provide guidance on how to address them]

The questioner is highly skilled in a particular area, correct? Alternatively, is it possible that the other person is seeking a reason to connect with you and engage in conversation? You are also highly perceptive, having noticed that he has started to communicate more. Do you have an interest in the other person as well?

Are you concerned that a romantic relationship may develop between you and him?

Given the questioner's apparent anxiety and the presence of expectations and speculation, the most straightforward method for determining the situation is to test your own heart.

1. How would you respond if he were to appear in front of you with someone he loves?

2: Capitalize on opportunities. If you have a positive interest in someone, you can extend an invitation to meet for a social event. If they accept, the relationship will evolve over time.

Should you decline, the other party may perceive you as a mere acquaintance.

3. If there is no romantic interest, the individual may serve as a colleague and close friend.

4: Are you concerned that he is seeking your assistance because he is exploiting you? Is he unable to resolve the issues independently, or does he desire to develop alongside you?

Your academic performance has consistently been exemplary.

Learning is about growth and development. Even if you seek assistance, you will gain mastery through application.

5: Take the initiative to break the ice. He is also a colleague. If you have not formed a positive impression of him, you can use communication to gain a better understanding of each other and potentially develop a strong professional relationship.

If you have developed a positive relationship, are in a secure position in your professional lives, and have been colleagues for a number of years, you may wish to consider taking the next step in your relationship.

Please accept my blessings.

Should you wish to continue the conversation, please click on the "Find a Coach" link, which you will find in the top right-hand corner or at the bottom of the page. I will then be in touch to discuss your requirements in more detail.

Hello, question asker. From your narrative, I can sense that your relationship with your colleague may be causing you some concern.

Before I proceed with my analysis, I would like to inquire about your relationship status. Are you both unmarried young people? If so, there might be another possibility to consider.

From your description, it seems that he liked to be in a position of authority when you were at school. I would be interested to know whether he also likes to be in a position of authority over other people.

If he also likes to boss people around, then that's just the way he is. If he only does that with you, it may be that there is some adulation on your part, and he is just using that to get your attention.

From your description, it seems that he is also observant of your emotions, which could indicate that he is a very attentive person who cares about your feelings.

In your narrative, you have achieved some success at work, and he sincerely congratulates you. I'm not sure if your position is higher than his, but if it is, it's possible that he may be trying to gain favor with the boss.

In your narrative, he was transferred to another department, but still made a point of returning to chat with you, buy you milk tea, and help you carry things. In your question, did you mention that he did this because he was seeking something from you?

I'm not quite sure I understand what you mean by "asking for favors."

From your overall narrative, it seems there may be some feelings on his part. Given that you are both unmarried, it would be understandable if he has feelings for you.

If you're interested in learning more about how the other person truly feels, you might consider asking around or gently suggesting the idea. One approach could be to create a narrative similar to yours and then inquire about their thoughts on it.

I hope my answer is of some assistance to you. Wishing you well.

Hi, I'm happy you've reached out for help. I hope my input can help you work through your confusion.

♣ Pay attention to what your heart is really telling you.

From what you've told me, you've been together from college to graduation and work. You've worked side by side through both your studies and work, and this relationship has lasted for at least several years. After spending so much time together, you're confused because you find yourself falling for him, but you're not sure if he likes you back.

If he likes you, why hasn't he told you he loves you after all this time? If he doesn't like you, why has he been by your side all these years and given you the impression that there is something between you?

Think about the following questions: 1. Do you like him? 2. Do you like the way you get along with each other?

3. Does he act the same way around other women?

By answering these questions, you can figure out what you need emotionally from this relationship.

♣ Guide the interaction in the direction you want it to go.

If you like him and want to develop a further relationship with him, can you show some emotional interest during your interactions to let him know that you're interested in more than just a casual relationship?

If you don't like him and don't like how things are going, you can let him know in a tactful way what you think, or you can refuse to engage in interactions that are likely to cause misunderstandings.

♣ Believe that you deserve to be loved.

He treats you well, cares about you, buys you milk tea, and helps you carry things. You feel like he's only doing this because he needs something from you. Deep down, you don't think you deserve to be liked or loved by him, so when he gets close to you, you feel like he's doing it because he needs something from you, not because he likes you and loves you.

You should believe that you are worthy of love. He will pay attention to your mood changes, give you pointers at work, and be happy about your growth.

All of this shows that he cares about you and loves you. But whether it's love or something else, you need to figure it out for yourself. There are many types of love: the affection between classmates, friends, and colleagues; the love and care between family members; the love between partners...

I hope this is helpful.

Hello!

It's hard to give advice on a colleague in a few words. I'd like to chat with you and help you see more possibilities.

What are you worried about or looking forward to?

What are you worried about or looking forward to?

You have an acquaintance who is both a classmate and a colleague. You've known each other a long time. What are your true feelings and attitude towards such a person?

Do you like this person and want to get closer, or do you feel neutral and want to stay friends? Are you worried that this person only wants your help or feels indebted to you? Has that happened?

If not, what are you worried about or looking forward to?

Face your feelings.

Be proactive and face your feelings.

If someone helps you and spends time with you, it shows they care about you. They could just do their own work. After being transferred to another work position, this person still finds time during their breaks to chat with you, help you carry things, ask you to do things many times, buy you milk tea, and spend all their time and energy on you. This shows that they are willing to get closer to you, be by your side, and spend more time with you.

What do you think when he does this?

[It's better to communicate than to test the waters in silence.]

From your text, it's clear the other person's actions haven't made you uncomfortable. If you want to know what they're thinking, you can take the initiative and communicate honestly. Express your willingness to develop the relationship, either verbally or through a gift.

Ambiguity can make people feel hopeful or disappointed. If you find it hard to say directly, you can say it in a joking way.

I hope the original poster can face their feelings, whether it's friendship or love.

Hello, question asker! I am Jia'ao, and I'm not looking for trouble.

I can see the issues and confusion you outlined on the platform. Are you facing challenges in your interpersonal relationships? You mentioned that you and your former classmate and current colleague have always been together and have never been apart. He tends to talk about you, manage you, and pay attention to you in various aspects. Currently, he is not in the same location as you due to a job transfer, but he still visits to chat with you and assist with your move. Recently, he has been more active and talks more than usual. Could it be that he is doing this because he has something he needs from me?

Could there be another reason? I'm not sure I understand his perspective.

Perhaps we could chat?

1. I'm not sure how you two used to get along. From what you've told me, it seems like the foundation of your relationship is still very strong. You were classmates in the past and now you are colleagues. This kind of fate is indeed rare, and your colleague should still be quite sincere with you and genuinely want what's best for you. He will take care of you and offer different opinions. In this day and age, there aren't many friends who dare to speak the truth. You know this better than anyone. As for what he is thinking now, you probably have some idea, too, right?

2. If you're still unsure, why not have a chat with him and ask for his thoughts? You're not strangers, so there's no need to guess. It might be helpful to just get to the point and ask him directly.

I'm not sure if this is the right approach. I don't believe that if you ask him, he won't tell you. What can you guess by guessing like this? It doesn't seem to be the most effective method.

3. Besides, if he really needs your help in your close relationship, would you really ignore it? From your description, it seems like you value the friendship between you a great deal. Even if you have disagreements, you seem to be able to work through them. And since you're still colleagues, there are still many opportunities for you to connect.

There are many ways to approach this.

4. Perhaps you could try communicating with him more openly, or even cracking a joke to break the ice and ask him what he wants. Is there something you're both struggling to talk about? You could try these approaches and see if they help. It might be more productive than coming to the platform for help. Why not give it a try?

I hope my answer is helpful. I wish you well.

Hello, question asker! I'm Evan.

It's so common for our relationships with friends to overlap in so many ways. Some are both teacher and friend, some are classmates and even colleagues. In this society, it's often the case that the two people we know are not simply related in some way. Sometimes, some friends value the relationship between the two sides and hope to strengthen the intensity of the relationship through some deeper connection.

It's possible that the questioner's friends have changed their attitude for a certain purpose. Whatever the reason may be, whether it's for the good or the bad, or if it's only beneficial to him, the questioner needs to carefully observe and respond differently.

It's so common for friends in the workplace to help each other! How to handle relationships with colleagues in the workplace often depends on the way the questioner got along with their parents in their original family. Very often, the way we get along with people is learned from our own parents.

How to deal with such workplace colleagues requires the questioner to take a moment to reflect on the situation. It's okay if you don't have all the answers!

I'll give the OP a pat on the shoulder and some encouragement. So, how can you tell if you need to help a colleague?

How should this workplace relationship be handled? Here are a few suggestions for you, my friend:

Take a moment to examine this relationship.

There are so many kinds of friends! Some are helpful, some are ordinary, and some might even be considered false friends. Confucius said in the Analects, "Three friends are helpful, three friends are harmful."

A friend who is straightforward, forgiving, knowledgeable, and helpful is a great friend. A friend who is fawning, servile, and flattering is not so great, but we all have friends like that, don't we?

There are three kinds of helpful friends and three kinds of harmful friends. It's a great idea to make friends with upright people, honest people, and people who are knowledgeable.

It's not a good idea to make friends with people who flatter and ingratiate themselves, with people who flatter on the surface but slander behind their backs, and with people who are good at sweet-talking. It's always a good idea to examine your relationships and see what you're getting out of them.

It's important to handle your relationship with him with a little caution and see if his values match your own.

A true friend has so many wonderful characteristics, in addition to those mentioned in the Analects. A friend may not always say the things you want to hear, but if you are facing difficulties, a friend is always willing to listen to you. You feel so relaxed in the presence of a friend and can be your true self.

Friends are there for you, through thick and thin. They're always there for you, not just when they need something.

Friends are there for you through thick and thin. They care about your health and safety.

Your friends will respect your ideas, and they'll love you for them!

So, how do you know if a friend is worth keeping?

As we've chatted about, friends can be a great help or a bit of a hindrance. So how can you tell which type your friend is and whether it's worth getting to know them better?

It's also good to think about whether your friend wants something from you. Unfortunately, some friends can be a bit unkind and might gossip about you behind your back.

Use your own good judgment to navigate social relationships. Use your own insights to connect with people you care about, or use your own wisdom to make good decisions.

They're just looking for a little bit of information from you. They only come to you when they need something.

Of course, if a friend needs your help with something and it doesn't involve any issues of principle, you can still help if you want to! Friends also talk about mutual benefit. But if the friend asks you to do something that puts you in a difficult situation, you can tactfully refuse and clearly tell him about your difficulties. If he continues to associate with you despite this, then it shows that the friend is still worth associating with! If he loses his temper because of your refusal and even stops associating with you, then you need to seriously consider what the relationship is like.

Just a friendly word of advice: beware of your friend's jealousy.

Sometimes, jealousy can make people do and say things they don't mean. A true good friend will overcome the initial jealousy and put work first.

If your friends never celebrate your good grades, or if they find fault with you instead of congratulating you, it could be a sign that they're feeling jealous. It's also possible that they'll start lecturing you, and you might feel pressure from them.

It's not uncommon for friends to have different levels of closeness. Sometimes, one friend might be your primary support, while another is there to offer a different kind of help.

It might be best to keep your distance for now.

If you're feeling uncomfortable with the way your current friends are acting, they might be standing in your position or criticizing you based on past scenarios. If that's the case, it might be helpful to consider maintaining a certain distance from them.

If the other person always uses your work as an excuse to criticize you, you can try saying something like, "Thank you for your reminder. I'm sure your past work experience has benefited you in the past company, and I feel that my approach has also benefited me in some ways in the company." You can also try tactfully pointing out some of your colleagues' views that aren't quite right for you.

If your relationship with the questioner is making them uncomfortable now, they can try to minimize contact with him. This is to give yourself a little space, not to get involved in unnecessary conflicts, and to avoid the conflicts between you from putting pressure on the questioner. Try not to ignore the other person completely or not speak to them.

This might come across as a bit immature, and it could even make your colleagues angry and cause them to spread gossip about you in front of your colleagues.

It's totally normal to not always know what other people are thinking. What we can do is spend more time with our good friends, the ones who make us happy, relaxed, and tolerant. And of course, we all have to figure out how to keep our friendships going strong. It's not easy, but it's so worth it!

I really hope my answer helps!

Hello, I'm Qu Huidong, a psychological counselor who loves to speak in images!

After reading the questioner's description, I'm really curious to know: are you being like this because you need something from him? Could it be that the question behind this is "Does he like me?"

I'd love to know how you feel about him! Do you like it when he takes charge?

Did you love the compliments he gave you when congratulating you? Did you miss him at all after he was transferred to another position?

When he comes to chat with you, does he want to talk to you more? Are you happier chatting with him than you used to be?

And did the questions you were asked make you feel a little lost?

I'm so excited to hear how you feel now that you've answered these questions!

You and he have been classmates for many years, and now you are also colleagues! After walking together for so many years, the boundary between classmates may have gradually blurred. Do you still remember when you first met?

And how did you two become the best of friends?

Maybe there were feelings, but for some reason neither of you had the chance to break the ice.

Is he the one? Does he meet your criteria for a partner and is willing to take the next step?

If the reason you're not moving forward is that he already has a girlfriend, it's even more important to set some clear boundaries.

Otherwise, while one side of your heart is racing, the other side will feel guilty. How uncomfortable! But don't worry! You can take control and make the choice that's right for you.

I'm so excited to help you see the state of your relationship as clearly as possible! The above is my bold conjecture, and I really hope it helps.

I also wish you the very best and truly believe you can make your own choice!

Wishing you all the best!