What if I'm too jealous? I'm jealous of my girlfriend. What's wrong with me?

Gain insight into the mind and make sharing a habit! I'm talking to myself here.

It's human nature to be jealous to some extent. The key is to recognize when it crosses the line from mild to severe. Personally, I find it challenging not to be jealous of others.

If we're going to talk about this topic today, I think we should first clarify where jealousy comes from.

Maybe you think it's ridiculous that there's a reason for jealousy.

I think jealousy comes from envy. When envy reaches a certain level, jealousy will arise.

Learning to drive and getting a driver's license are both big steps. It can be uncomfortable to see others learn it before you. You're still close to her, and you're a man. You might think men are better at this than women. But in the end, reality sets in.

If you feel like you can't settle down, it's only natural to feel jealous. And if you don't manage your emotions, you might feel irritable.

When you're feeling calmer, you'll see that this "jealousy" is pretty ridiculous. At first, it seems like you're jealous of other people, but when you look closer, you'll see that you're actually being hard on yourself.

So, how do you handle this feeling of jealousy?

Today, I'd like to offer a few suggestions to the questioner, in the hope that they'll be useful to you.

1. Flowers are beautiful, and grass is green. It's important to recognize the strengths of others while also acknowledging your own advantages.

Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and that's what equality is all about. Some of the strengths others have can be learned, and we can even surpass them. But some, no matter how hard you try, will always feel out of reach.

When you know which ceilings you can't reach no matter how hard you try, you don't need to push yourself too hard to be something you're not. That will only put you under a lot of pressure and make you feel jealous. You need to know that in the face of advantages you can't reach, you also have advantages that others can't reach.

Just do your best to be a good person and let God take care of the rest.

2. Pointless comparisons are just a way of trying to copy what other people do.

If you don't compare, you won't be harmed. This saying is very wonderful and very objective.

In our daily work, study, and life, many of our worries come from comparing ourselves with others. These days, we compare jobs, salaries, partners, houses, children, and even parents. It seems like there's nothing we don't compare.

What about comparing and contrasting? It seems like there's always something better, and it never ends.

If you can understand yourself throughout your life, that's a great success. You don't need to worry so much about other people. They may not think as highly of you as you think they do.

I believe that being a good person is the best thing you can do.

3. Chances are, the things you care about the most are the things you lack or need to change.

In our daily work or life, we sometimes pay special attention to certain things, such as what others say, how others treat you, or even a look from someone else. You'll think of a bunch of scenarios and guesses. And to a large extent, these guesses aren't very accurate, but just a unilateral opinion on your part.

However, no matter how inaccurate your guess is, if you think about it every day, you will come to believe it deep down in your heart, and you will feel that you are right. But often, your wild guesses will seriously interfere with how you think. You will be very sure in your heart that certain actions or thoughts of your own are the result of this.

There's no scientific proof for this, and you're pretty convinced. It's tough to get you to change your thinking. This is the downside of being too worried about certain things. You shouldn't be overly concerned about anything, good or bad, and you should manage it in moderation.

The ancients also said, "Don't get too happy about your achievements, and don't dwell on your failures."

One last thing:

Take a step back and stop focusing on it so much.

There are lots of meaningful things you can do in your life.

I think every single thing is important.

This is much more important than your current, unproductive jealousy.

You are you—a one-of-a-kind you.

Don't go overboard and misrepresent yourself to others.

You don't have to make a point of comparing yourself to anyone else.

It's important to be yourself and live in the moment.

It's pretty amazing, isn't it?

Hello, I'm Huang Xiaolu, and I'm here to help!

It's not just because your girlfriend has passed her driving test that you're feeling so down in the dumps. I think it's because some old, uncomfortable feelings have come back to haunt you, making you feel restless.

At the same time, after graduation, everyone left school, started a new job, went to a new environment, and found themselves having to deal with more problems that required their own handling and decision-making. I totally get it! I think it was the situation at that time, in that moment, in that situation, that made you feel a lot of pressure and anxiety, didn't it?

And on the topic of jealousy, I get the feeling that your jealousy is more focused on anxiety, inferiority, and a lack of self-acceptance, don't you think so too?

Your girlfriend is older than you, and I can see how that might make you feel like you're falling behind because you're younger.

I'm sure you'll be happy to know that even your driving licence was obtained later than your girlfriend's because of insufficient age.

Your girlfriend has also done really well in her exams, finishing almost as soon as she started studying. You're not sure you can do the same and pass every exam you take, but you'll get there!

So, your irritability is not directed at your girlfriend, but at yourself. It's totally normal to feel this way when you're younger and trying to keep up with people who are more experienced. It seems like things move at a faster pace for you, and you're working hard to catch up. You've already achieved so much, and your accomplishments are impressive for your age. It's okay to feel like you're behind sometimes. We all have our own pace and journey.

Oh, I don't think the real situation is like that at all!

Let's try to encourage ourselves by focusing on your strengths. You know your strengths better than anyone, so you're the best person to do that. Jealousy often comes from a place of feeling like you're not good enough or haven't done it yet. It's natural to feel that way sometimes, but it's also important to remember that everyone has their own journey and path to follow. If they can do it, you can do it too!

1. You've always been the youngest in your class, but you've also completed all your studies and graduated successfully!

2. You're already in a relationship, which is great!

3. You're really open about your jealousy and you're trying to find a solution. You're already more proactive than many people, which is great!

4. Even though there were always those classmates who laughed at you, you still did what you wanted to do and completed your studies and life.

So, you should be proud of yourself for being like this!

As for jealousy, it's something we all experience. It's okay to feel it! We don't reject its existence, and we also need to be grateful for its existence because it helps us understand the gap between us and others, as well as our inner goals and aspirations.

It's totally normal to feel jealous and lose your temper sometimes. It's a way to release all that pent-up emotion! But there are other ways to vent your emotions, too.

We can choose other ways that don't hurt ourselves or others, and there are so many other ways to get what we want!

1. First, let's acknowledge that we're feeling a little jealous of the people around us. It's okay to admit it! We can even tell ourselves that we need to work hard.

2. Let's take another look at why we feel jealous. If we blame our inability to reach certain goals on things we can't change (like age, family matters, height, etc.), it can naturally lead to feelings of pain. Why? Because we can't change these things on our own. They're something we're born with and can't be reached through postnatal efforts.

If we can find something we can change through hard work (like practice, reading, training, etc.), we'll find hope. It'll just take a little time. I know I'll be able to achieve it too, and you'll be motivated!

3. What am I jealous of? If we always compare our own shortcomings with other people's strengths, it can make us feel pretty sad. After all, there's no such thing as a perfect person who's the best at everything!

4. Choose the right way to regulate your jealousy.

I told my girlfriend, "I'm a little jealous of you. Look at you, you got your driver's license so quickly." Expressing yourself is a great way to kill the seed of jealousy in the bud!

Choose a goal and direction for your efforts, and then focus all your energy on achieving that goal. You'll be amazed at how quickly you'll become the object of envy!

It's so important to analyze and correctly understand the content of jealousy. Some content that makes us jealous can really help us improve, but some content that makes us jealous only causes unnecessary trouble.

And finally, remember to love and appreciate yourself! You are amazing, so don't worry if you feel a little envious of others. Nobody thinks less of you for being imperfect.

Thank you so much for reading! If you found it helpful, please don't forget to click "useful." ?

Welcome to the WeChat public account of Yi Psychology by Huang Xiaolu!

Hello, I'm Qiaonuan.

You sound jealous.

Your girlfriend got her license first because you were born on a small day.

Secondly, you said your classmates teased you for being young.

Jealousy is just an emotion.

Do you admit that others are better than you? No, they're just older.

She's older than me and still in school with me. That proves you're better than them. What are their peers doing? They can't compete with you, so they can only compete with you.

Your girlfriend's birthday is older than yours. She will get her license before you if she studies first.

Jealousy is pointless. It wastes your time. How long did it take your girlfriend to get her license?

Two months, and I'm taking the second test. How long will it take you to get your license?

Happiness can cure jealousy. Be happy and things will get done faster!

I'm always here.

The world loves you.

Read "The Psychology of Emotions." Don't get angry.

Hello, my name is Zeyu, and I'm happy to be here to help!

I didn't see any signs of mental illness in the description, so please don't worry! And remember, jealousy isn't abnormal or problematic. If we can control this emotion within a reasonable range, it's not a big deal.

In the description, the questioner said, "But when I see that she got her driver's license before me, I feel really, really uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel so grumpy that I want to get up. I want to get my license before her, because it's so awkward to be younger than her." Your explanation for this mentality is, "It may be that almost all of my classmates from the same grade as me were older than me, and they often teased me for being young, so I pay special attention to everything related to age."

The way we see this situation might be called "causality theory." This is when we pay special attention to things related to age because we grew up with the same classmates. This can make us feel jealous of our girlfriend. But causality theory can explain why we feel this way, but it can't change the past.

However, there's a simple solution: we can change our future "purpose" with our own will and re-select our own behavior, which is called "purposism." Let's try to solve the problem using the "purposism" approach. What is our future purpose? Do we want to control and change our girlfriend through "jealousy," or do we want to change the current situation of a jealous girlfriend?

Then, it's important to ask ourselves: are we feeling jealous of our girlfriend for getting her certificate earlier than us, or are we feeling jealous of the fact that we're not as good as the other person in this respect?

It's only natural to feel a little envious of people who are at a similar level to us. So when we see someone else get their certificate first, it can make us feel a bit inferior, which can be a bit of a shock to the system! But for various reasons, we are often reluctant to accept this reality, and so we might start to feel a little resentful and jealous of the other person.

Then, we can remind ourselves that getting a certificate early doesn't mean someone is bad or not good. We can show this by sharing experiences that prove our abilities.

Second, we need to embrace what the reality is like. Change what we can change, that is, how we think about our girlfriend getting her degree earlier than us, and reattribute and explain it.

It's okay to accept the things we can't change, like the fact that our girlfriend got her license before us. When we can accept things as they are and understand why we're feeling jealous, it's easier to find solutions that work for us.

I really hope that the host can solve the problem as expected and change the current situation by the end of the article.

P.S. Just a heads-up: The explanations in the article are only personal assumptions, and there may be significant deviations from the actual situation. So, please take the article as a friendly reference only. ?

Hi, I'm Strawberry.

You and your girlfriend went to get your driver's licenses together, which is great. You had each other's company and could discuss what you lacked in terms of skills, so you could improve together.

The questioner and his girlfriend started learning at the same time, but he was slower than her because he was younger. While she had already got her licence, he was still taking the second part of the exam. This made him unhappy and jealous.

The real reason for the emotions

The questioner is unhappy that his girlfriend got her driver's license first. He is also upset about being teased by his classmates.

The questioner thinks his classmates ridicule him because he is young. Is that true?

The questioner said that he and his girlfriend graduated. He is younger than other students of the same age, but they both graduated. Does that mean that if others can do it, the questioner can do it too? From this perspective, the questioner's ability and strength are not bad.

The questioner became emotional because his girlfriend got her driver's license first. He felt pressured and anxious that he wasn't doing well in the test process and would be compared.

The order of things doesn't matter.

The questioner and his girlfriend are both getting their licenses at the same time, but he will get his later because he is younger. The order of things does not mean everything.

If we are ridiculed, we don't have to admit it. If we do, we might get depressed.

Admitting our abilities is not a sign of defeat. People who admit their abilities are braver and can see their own problems. Being younger than others is not a reason to be upset. The questioner should be proud of being younger than others and still accomplishing things.

It's not your fault.

The questioner has been teased for being younger, so they think being younger means being inferior. This makes you angry and you don't want to admit it. You also want to get rid of this perception.

The questioner wants to prove themselves and show everyone what they can do.

If they're just classmates, there's no deep relationship. Many are just transients, and there's no need to let their words get us emotional. For the questioner, there's nothing wrong with them.

If you ignore your emotions, they won't go away. You need to be aware of your emotions and resolve them.

1. Study: Having awe for ourselves can make us gain respect. If we don't have confidence, others won't respect us. I recommend the book "You Are the Answer" by Wu Zhihong. Just be yourself.

2. Don't compare yourself to others. We only compare ourselves to ourselves, and that's enough to make us improve and grow.

3. Talk: The questioner probably doesn't talk to others much, so they might be hiding a lot. I bet even their girlfriend doesn't know that she's jealous of the questioner. Talk to someone you trust about the problems you have. You might get different solutions.

I hope this helps. Best regards.

Your words can help many people. This is the power we all have.

Hello, I am the heart detective coach. Fei You, I can feel your annoyance. You feel jealous of others and anxious.

Let's look at the problem together.

1. There's a difference between "wanting to win" and "not wanting to lose."

It is like having a tiger chasing you. This is "not wanting to lose," accompanied by pressure, anxiety, worry, and fear.

They were in a state of constant high alert and panic, with material deprivation, no guarantee of livelihood, and a crisis of survival.

The state of wanting to win comes from within. The key is to allow yourself to lose.

Do you want to win or not? When you know yourself, you can choose.

Let's look at how envy starts.

Comparing yourself with others can lead to envy and jealousy. We are used to comparing ourselves with those around us.

Envy is wanting what others have. Jealousy is stronger. If you don't have it, you may even wish to destroy what the other person has.

Envy and jealousy are based on the belief that you are not good enough. This leads to feelings of inferiority, self-doubt, and self-denial.

You can improve your sense of worthiness and self-confidence at the same time. Healing is possible.

For more information, see my article "The Root of Psychological Problems is It."

Since comparison is inevitable, how can we solve it? The best way is to compare yourself to who you were yesterday.

This gives you strength and hope.

I hope this helps. I love you.

Click "Find a coach" to continue communicating and grow with me one-on-one.

Hello, dear questioner! I am Shushan Wenquan. Let's learn to be our own spiritual gardeners and watch over the spring blossoms and autumn fruits together!

I can totally relate to your description of feeling anxious and restless because of your own "jealousy." It's so hard to feel jealous without meaning to, isn't it? I know it's tough to hold back from feeling jealous when you want to feel proud of yourself too.

1. Take a moment to understand yourself as you are now. Instead of feeling jealous, try to see it as a sign of your natural competitiveness.

Your age made it a bit tricky for you to get your driver's license. I can imagine how frustrating it was to watch your girlfriend pass the test first while you were still waiting in line! It's understandable that you felt anxious, irritable, and resentful. I bet you were teased as a child because you were younger than your classmates. It's only natural that you care a lot about things related to age.

This is a great feeling! It shows that you're always pushing yourself to do your best, and that you're never too young to take on new challenges.

I've been there, too! When I was in preschool, I was the youngest of three girls in my village. When we took the preschool graduation exam, we all got two 100s, but I got a 98. After that, I felt like I should work hard and get the same score as them. I was worried that I would lag behind because of my young age, so when we did other things together, I always had to add a little bit more to get a passing grade. That way, I could feel at ease.

It's totally normal to feel competitive! It could be because we have high self-expectations or because we're particularly concerned about being younger than others. Either way, it's a way to gain more attention and a sense of security.

- 2. It's totally okay to be younger than others! Think about all the great things it brings you.

First, take a moment for yourself to reflect. You are more advanced in all aspects of development because you can keep up with the first class with people older than you.

So, you're already pretty great at what you do! There's no need to compare yourself to others. Looking inward and appreciating your own strengths can give you a wonderful sense of security and stability.

Second, because you're younger than others, you may get more attention. This can be a good thing! It can help you to stand out and be noticed. But it can also be a bad thing if you don't know how to handle it. If others say that you're so young, you can respond with a positive attitude. For example, you can say, "I'm still learning, so I'd love to have you show me the ropes."

It's totally okay to be honest about your age and ask for help when you need it.

I can see that you're feeling a bit jealous of your girlfriend getting her driver's license first. It's totally normal to feel this way, especially when you're young and eager to prove yourself. It's like you're one step behind, and you want to catch up. I get it!

So, this isn't a mental illness. I think what you need to do now is understand why you're feeling this way. It's because you're younger than others and you want to prove yourself to be "competitive." You need to learn to accept that you're younger and look inward to establish your own reference system. Then you can turn this into an advantage!

I really do wish you all the very best!

Hello, I can understand how you feel, seeing as you have been uncomfortable and jealous of your girlfriend for two months because she got her driving license before you. However, this is due to objective reasons, not because you have not worked hard enough. So you don't need to dwell on it, and you don't need to be jealous. And I want to tell you that this is just a result of a conditioned reflex, not a psychological problem.

You mentioned that you are younger than the children in your class, and they often tease you about it, so you are particularly sensitive about the age issue. In the case of the driver's license, it is because of the age issue that you took the test later than your girlfriend, so you will have a special reaction when you encounter this kind of problem. This could be a long-term stress response, a conditioned reflex, rather than a psychological problem.

Additionally, I believe you are someone who strives for improvement and is competitive. Even if she is your girlfriend, you may still hope to do better and be better than her. This may be because you care about your position in your girlfriend's heart. When she outperforms you, you may feel anxious and insecure, doubt yourself, and even become jealous of her.

You might consider adjusting your mentality, relaxing a little, and using self-suggestion to tell yourself, "I'm excellent and don't mind the age issue." This could help to gradually fade the psychological impact of age on you.

Good day, my name is Jianlin, a psychological counselor. In response to the statement in your question:

The situation has remained consistent due to the fact that all of your classmates in school were older than you. You have consistently been under this kind of psychological pressure.

When your girlfriend was taking her driving test, she was slightly older than you and obtained her license slightly earlier than you did. You experienced a sudden surge of thoughts and feelings of jealousy.

The reason is straightforward: your girlfriend should consistently demonstrate obedience, respect, and prioritization of your needs. However, you currently lack this sense of superiority.

This, in conjunction with the aforementioned psychological compulsion, has resulted in the development of a pronounced resistance. This resistance is evidenced by your eagerness to obtain your driver's license and alleviate the pressure.

It is important to note that this state of mind can be quite painful and may even lead to feelings of mental instability. This can further exacerbate anxiety levels.

Therefore, our relative youth affords us certain advantages in many areas.

Furthermore, you can leverage your age advantage by acting cute in front of your girlfriend. Given your younger age, your partner will be compelled to take better care of you and look after you.

This will result in your girlfriend being more considerate of you. It is important to note that this is not a disease, but rather a specific environmental factor.

This can cause feelings of anxiety. During this period, it may be helpful to focus on your strengths and your girlfriend's reliance on you.

His respect for and reliance on you is a reflection of the fact that you are more mature and stable than he is. Despite the fact that he obtained his driver's license a few days before you,

In terms of mental strength and driving skills in the future, you will undoubtedly possess greater advantages than he will. At that juncture, will you still be experiencing feelings of jealousy?

When he has a question and requires your advice on all matters, do you believe your strengths will be evident?

In light of the above, please reconsider whether this is still a problem. When we have this kind of mentality, we must learn to adjust ourselves.

Do not compare your weaknesses with other people's strengths. It is important to communicate your strengths to others. Your advantages are unmatched, correct? Adjust your perspective and consider other points of view. You may receive different insights. The above is aimed at your psychological state.

We have conducted a thorough analysis of your psychological profile and hope that the insights provided will be beneficial. Thank you for allowing us to assist you.

Hello, questioner.

Don't be nervous. The mind is like the body: it has ups and downs. This is normal. Accept it.

As a child, you were compared to others and told to look at how others were doing things.

This will happen.

You will always be in a state of competition, always rushing to be number one. As adults, we will find that there are many things that are restricted by age, such as the age limit for obtaining a driver's license.

The age threshold for obtaining a driver's license is a policy decision, and no one can change it. Look at it this way: your girlfriend was supposed to be standing a little further ahead, and you were standing a little further behind. If the two of you worked just as hard, you, who were standing further behind, would arrive at the finish line later.

Stop asking yourself why you're standing further back than everyone else. It's not fair. Focus on yourself. Work hard to reach the finish line. Gain something in the process. Grow.

I'm sure you agree.

You were teased by your classmates when you were young. It was a bad experience that had a negative impact on you. But now that you are an adult, you can make a decision for yourself: "Do you want to continue living in the state of being weak and teased that you were when you were a child," or "I can become a strong self, I can handle the things I have taken over, and it has nothing to do with other people."

You must decide which belief you want to hold. I wish you happiness. I am Chen Jia, and I love you.

Hello, dear questioner!

Hi there! I'm Kelly. I've read your question, and I just wanted to say that it's totally normal to feel jealous of your best friend. We all have those feelings sometimes! So, why are you jealous of your girlfriend and not of anyone else?

I can see why you'd feel this way. You and she are good friends, and there's also the age difference to consider. I can relate to feeling uncomfortable in this situation. I wouldn't want to lose either.

Don't worry, this is just a metaphor.

I totally get it. It's not about your ability, it's about your age. And getting your license doesn't matter. You can get it later, maybe a little later, but you both got your license at the same age.

So there's no difference in your abilities, sweetie.

So let's talk about jealousy. I'm sure you'll be able to handle it like you did this time! When you encounter such things in the future, you'll know that you're someone who will solve things as soon as they happen. For example, you asked a psychological question this time, which was a great idea. I want to praise you!

It also shows that you're a positive person who will find a solution when you encounter a problem.

[About jealousy]

I'm so glad you asked this question! There are four conditions that can lead to feelings of jealousy.

1: The other person is similar to us, which is great!

Take, for instance, the questioner and his good friend. It's not about ability, but age. I get it. I'm right there with you. But age is not ability, so there's no need to be jealous.

2: This incident is really about you, and that's okay!

Oh, don't we all care about that sometimes! It's only natural to feel vulnerable sometimes.

The questioner also said that there's no right or wrong in reading at a young age, and you can realize that for yourself.

On the contrary, why don't you feel that you are excellent? You are young but you do the same things as they do, you read the same books, you are great, aren't you?

3: Subjective unfairness

I can see that this bothers you, but I don't think it's because of your ability.

4: Lost Control

I'm sure you'd have been able to get your license at the same time as your best friend if it wasn't about age.

I can see how frustrating it must be that you can't control this annoying age. I really hope the OP feels better after reading this.

And you are young, you have high aspirations, and in evolutionary psychology, jealousy is just a natural part of being human.

So, jealousy will make you better and better, I promise!

And you'll see that you're not at all oblivious.

I'd like to offer a word of encouragement to the person who asked the question.

I'm sorry to say that jealousy is the enemy of honor.

I really believe that the best way to get rid of envy is to show that you're aiming for success, not fame. It's also a great idea to attribute your success to God's blessing and good fortune, rather than your own talent or power tactics. This is something that the wonderful British philosopher Francis Bacon also believed.

So, is proper envy a good friend of honor?

[About being teased about your age]

I totally get why you care so much about it. I can imagine it's been on your mind for a while now.

For example, when I was young, my mother always said I was stupid. Later, when I grew up, whenever I heard the word "stupid," I would get really angry, because it was a conditioned reflex.

On the contrary, there's nothing wrong with being young! Next time a friend or classmate says something to you, you can joke about it: "I'm young, but I read the same books and do the same things as you!"

When you don't care about something,

And they'll leave you alone about it from then on.

[Just be yourself!]

I have a smart you in mind, and I'll be focusing on myself from now on.

1: Read more!

2. Spend more time with friends and classmates you get along with!

3: Learn to appreciate and affirm yourself, my dear friend.

It's totally normal to feel confused as you grow up. No matter what confusion you encounter in the future, just ask questions. I'm sure you've already received a lot of love and support from people who care about you just like I do.

I really hope that our response can help you and make you more aware of yourself.

Happy birthday to you! I hope it's the best one yet!

Hi, I'm Kelly!

I love you, the world and I love you!

Hello, I'm Jiang 61, and I'm excited to be here!

Thank you so much for trusting us and being willing to tell us about your unhappy events in order to seek help! You ask, "What if I'm too jealous?"

Now I'm jealous of my girlfriend. What's wrong with me? "I understand how you feel. Let's hug and give you some comfort. Let's see why you're jealous and what to do about it.

1. The reason for jealousy

1. Driver's license

My girlfriend and I graduated from driving school together. She was born in the year of the rat, so she got her license first. I was born in the year of the ox, so I'm not allowed to drive yet. I'm practicing for my driving test, and I'm so excited to get my license before her! Sometimes I get really grumpy when I think about it. I want to get my license before her, but it's really awkward when I'm behind her.

Feelings

Guess what? Getting your license later than your girlfriend triggered your jealousy of her! You feel uncomfortable and irritable when you think about it, and it's very awkward to be later than him.

Reason

Your birthday is younger than hers, which means you started training later than her. You took your test later, but you're already practicing for the second part of the exam!

Let's dive deep and uncover the root cause of your emotions!

You've got some unresolved psychological issues that have been buried deep within you. This psychological issue is related to your inner child.

The inner child in me must be better than everyone else, so that everyone looks up to me. Otherwise, I'll lose face.

So, just thinking about it makes you feel uncomfortable, irritable, and awkward—and it's all part of the process!

2. Something that happened when you were a child

It may be that almost all of my classmates from the same grade as me were older than me, and they often teased me for being young. I pay special attention to everything related to age. Is there a psychological disorder?

Absolutely! You found a little child inside you, giving you a big thumbs-up! It means that someone has always made fun of you for your age, and your self-esteem is very strong. Their actions have made you lose face, so you care a lot about things related to age.

It immediately ignites those unpleasant feelings and sends you into a fit of rage!

3. Root cause

I would love to know what I can do to help! It's been two months, and it's been especially painful. Please help!

You said that you have been suffering for two months, and this uncomfortable feeling is due to the fact that your jealousy towards your girlfriend has been affecting you and causing you a lot of pain. I can feel from your words that you don't want to do this, probably because of the emotions that the situation brings up. This is an opportunity for you to recognize your feelings and work through them in a healthy way. You can't stop, and these feelings of jealousy and pain just come out involuntarily, and you feel guilty all the time. This is something you can work on and improve!

2. The influence of the original family

You said above that you have found an inner child, which is great! However, it seems that your classmates often teased you for being young, which has left a psychological shadow on you. Age is a taboo for you that cannot be touched, which is understandable. However, the root cause has not been completely found, and this cause is related to your upbringing, which is something we can definitely work on together!

I say this because I think I understand you! I think that age is a point that is psychologically traumatic for you because of what happened at school. It's not enough to get emotional just thinking about it. I think it's the constant comparisons in your family of origin that really make you sad.

I'd love to know why you say that!

Indeed, I don't have enough evidence to support this speculation, but I'm excited to find out more! The two-month incident that has been troubling you is not simply a matter of age. There must be deeper issues that have not been revealed, and I'm eager to uncover them!

It's not that she's younger than you, it's that she got her degree later than you. And that's okay! Being younger is an objective fact that cannot be changed, but comparing yourself to others is a real psychological problem that can make you compare yourself to others at any time and in any situation.

In the title, you mentioned that you have a strong sense of jealousy. This is great! It shows that you are not only jealous of your girlfriend, but also of many other aspects.

I have a feeling that your jealous feelings have their roots in your life in your original family. I think your parents always measured your behavior by comparison, approving of you and disapproving of you. This is the real reason why you are always jealous. This is the reason for my speculation.

I believe that if you can solve the big problem of comparison, you can avoid similar comparisons in the future and stay happy and in control of your emotions!

3. Eliminate past trauma!

History cannot be reversed, and you cannot go back to when you were a child and live your life over again to undo the trauma of childhood comparisons. But there is something you can do! I think:

1. Acceptance

It's time to understand the inner child!

The so-called "inner child" is an amazing psychological entity that remains within us based on our childhood experiences.

Our external selves will grow up with age, but our inner children will always be with us! These are the vulnerable, aggrieved little ones who are always hiding deep inside, crying out and complaining. They are the ones who have experienced unfulfilled wishes, hurtful experiences, and negative emotions such as fear, sadness, and grievances. But we can rescue them and make them feel safe!

Embrace the inner child!

Acceptance is not about accepting everything. It's about embracing the inner child as a unique being with its own structure.

We find the inner child in order to rescue the child and make it felt. And we have some great methods for doing just that!

The first step is to recognize your feelings and pinpoint the triggers. Then, you can uncover the root cause of your emotions. This is where the magic begins! You'll discover that the reason behind your feelings is actually the unresolved trauma from your past. And, you'll also find the inner child that's been waiting for you to embrace it.

Second, we accept it and are grateful for it! It is because of it that you have come face to face with reality, that you know it exists, and that it has caused you to have emotional problems.

This is your chance to understand your past and the points that are restricting your progress now!

2. Reconciliation

Once you've identified your inner conflicts, you can start to work through them. These conflicts could be caused by a number of things, such as jealousy, anxiety, or fear. They might also be caused by unease or irritability. Whatever the cause, it's important to acknowledge them and start working on them. To do this, you need to start paying attention to your thoughts and feelings during a conflict.

Our thoughts and feelings are all real and need to be expressed! In the past, in our original family, we did not have the opportunity to express ourselves. But now we can! We can let go of all those old grievances, unwillingness, and anger that turned into inner children with emotional faces. We can heal and grow!

Now that it has been expressed, there is a chance to resolve the inner conflict, and this is reconciliation!

3. Self-growth Now for the fun part! It's time to focus on you and your own personal growth.

Healing

The great news is that whether it is through psychological counseling or self-healing, our inner child has gone through the process of seeing, accepting, and reconciling with us. All that's left to do is complete the healing process of the inner child!

Growing up is an amazing process!

Once you start searching, seeing, accepting, and reconciling, you'll be amazed at how quickly your inner child heals! You'll learn to think calmly and deal with problems in a way that manages your emotions. You'll feel in harmony with your body and mind, and your actions will be consistent. You'll find it's easy to stay calm and not lose your temper or become restless over one or two trivial matters. Instead, you'll find the reason behind the problem and solve it one by one. Your thinking will mature, and you'll truly mature and grow up! By doing this, you can resolve the trauma of the past.

That's all the analysis and advice I can give you, and I really hope it helps you a little!

And now, I wish you all the very best!