What qualifies me to move him? After much contemplation, the only thought I can come up with is "resonance."

Hello, I've read your description carefully and I can see that you're confused and that you have some inner needs.

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As the saying goes, "There are 1,000 Hamlets in 1,000 people." I don't know what others think when they read your description, but my feeling is that your gut is telling you that the old man won't be good to you. You think he has an ulterior motive, and you've analyzed all the reasons, but you still doubt it.

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So, this old man should be someone you really respect. You admire him, and you value the help he can give you. But you don't understand why he's helping you, so you feel like you're on thin ice when you're with him.

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I'd like to take a moment to share some thoughts based on what I've read. I hope you'll find them helpful.

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Do you lack confidence in yourself?

Your description reminds me of one of my younger brothers. He often asks us, "Why is that person being nice to me?" and "What's his agenda?"

If it's a girl, he'll think people like him. If it's a guy, he'll think people want to take advantage of him and spend his money.

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I always thought his way of thinking was pretty extreme, but then I slowly started to understand it better by looking at his situation at home. Because he has an amazing older sister and his parents are the "face of the family" in public, he has felt inferior to his sister since he was a kid. So, he also feels like he's not capable, and it's difficult for him to be confident around people who aren't recognized by him.

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Of course, everyone's situation is different. From what you've told me, it seems like you're not very confident in this relationship. You think it might be because you impressed the elderly person with a careless remark you made when you were 14 years old, but you don't believe that a careless remark of yours can impress someone else.

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Why not? You can empathize with an elder in an appropriate way, which is a kind of empathy ability. Not everyone can do it properly.

You feel like you're just a joke because this ability is part of you, and you're not aware of how rare it is. But maybe this is what makes you special to the elderly.

2. Why look into what the older generation is really up to?

It seems like you're a bit confused about whether the elderly value you. You've posted a high reward to ask people to help you analyze various possible reasons. I'm not sure why you want to know the reason, though.

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From the words "appreciate," "value," and "help me succeed," it's clear that the elderly person can provide a lot of help. Are you not happy about this, but feel pressured? Are you afraid that the elderly person expects too much from you? Or are you afraid that you'll become a tool to satisfy the elderly person's needs?

You're also worried that you won't be able to meet his demands and expectations.

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I know this is a tough one for you. It's hard to find a solution when you're feeling this confused. But I believe the answer is still within you. First, you need to figure out why you want to understand the intentions of the elderly. Second, you need to find the answer to this question yourself.

3. Some tips for solving the problem

First, to build up your confidence, try some positive training. One way to do this is to do the mirror exercise.

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Stand in front of the mirror and take a look at your whole body. Adopt a kind, friendly, and concerned attitude towards the person in the mirror.

Compliment the person in the mirror. You can definitely say something nice about yourself (for example, your ability to empathize), form some thoughts in your mind, and if a negative thought arises, find a positive one to counter it. Treat your own strengths and weaknesses fairly.

Be kind to yourself, just as you would be to the people you love. Allow yourself to experience these feelings and thoughts, and keep them in your heart for as long as you need to. When you feel anxious, call on them to help you through it. Don't let your vulnerable side take over.

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Second, communicate with the elderly openly and honestly. They've lived longer than we have, and there's a reason why they value you. Since they've been open and honest with you about their past experiences, you should also try to let go of your doubts and be honest with them. If you have doubts, why not just ask them directly?

You can try to tell him what's on your mind and share your concerns and emotions with him. Don't be afraid to be honest with others because getting along with others is about looking beyond the surface to what's really important.

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Finally, take an objective view of the elderly's attention. People are relatively selfish. No matter what the elderly's intentions are, they are their own thoughts, which you cannot change or interfere with. However, you can change your own mindset. When it comes to the elderly's attention and help, just accept it with an open mind within your own internal limits. Don't burden yourself too much and cause unnecessary stress and anxiety. Just go with the flow of your own existence. If, on the contrary, the elderly's help causes a lot of negative emotions of entanglement and anxiety, it will run counter to the original intention of the parties involved.

Hi, I'm Cici Ai. I'm an 80s generation person who uses psychology to help myself heal. I hope you can understand if I've misinterpreted anything. I hope my sharing can help you in some way!

Hello, question asker!

After reading your question, I just had to tell you how much I enjoyed your writing! You have a wonderful way with words. You told us about your relationship with your grandfather in just a few sentences, and they were so full of charm. Combined with your reflections and explorations of human nature, it is a pleasure to read. Based on the information you have given, I have made a few immature deductions after some thought. Please correct me if I am wrong:

I'm guessing your grandpa is somewhere between 91 and 96 years old, and you're around 24 or 25.

From what you've told me, your grandfather was already educated and making a difference in society around the time of the founding of the People's Republic of China (1949). If he was just an adult at the time (18 years old), he would now be 91 years old; if he was a university graduate serving his country (23 years old), he would now be 96 years old. As for you, I get the feeling from your writing and your thoughts that you are still in your youth, probably just entering society for a year or two. So I'm going to guess that you should be around 24 or 25 years old. That 14-year-old you had that conversation with your grandfather in 2011 or 2012 that changed your fate and your relationship.

2. I get the feeling that you two have a really close relationship, almost like father and son.

In your description, you say that your grandfather "doesn't tell me everything" and that he "has nothing to hide." This contradictory description shows that you're having a bit of a confusing time. On the one hand, you don't believe that your grandfather will tell you everything. On the other hand, you truly see that he has nothing to hide from you, which makes you feel a little unsure.

On top of that, he was really devoted to you. He wanted to help you succeed, and he was so grateful for your acceptance that it made you feel a bit guilty and confused. That's why you want to find answers here.

3. The key to the whole text is the conversation you had.

In your mind, the conversations you had in the past were the beginning of a transformation. You saw his misfortune and understood his pain, so he became dependent on you and began to tell you his story in every detail. As you grew up, though, you gradually became confused about how that past rapport was formed and maintained.

I'm just throwing out some ideas here, but I think I've got a pretty good handle on your relationship and why you're asking these questions. Let me just share a few thoughts with you.

Based on my psychology knowledge, I can say that Grandpa needs a listener to reminisce about his past. It seems like Grandpa lacks the company of relatives and friends in real life, and you happen to fill that gap. Or, it could be that Grandpa has a "homing instinct." Whatever the reason, if we apply it without sufficient information, we'll only measure the behavior of a specific individual according to a given indicator. This won't help us understand and know others better. It might even damage our relationship with them. As a psychology enthusiast, I've learned that the first thing we need to do to live more comfortably is not apply the rules and frameworks we know to the people and things we encounter in life.

This is just my first thought!

It's always a good idea to focus on how you can make your relationship better, not just on what you can do to impress your partner. If you're curious about why they're being so nice to you, just ask! It'll be a great chance to connect and deepen your relationship.

If you feel shy and unable to speak up, don't worry! Just let it be, don't overthink it, and focus your thoughts on "how to improve the relationship." You can do it! Think about ways you can show you care about the other person, like listening carefully to them or surprising them with little treats. And don't be afraid to share your happy or sad moments with them. They're there for you too!

This grandfather must have played a significant role in your life, or been a source of considerable assistance.

He will provide details about his activities following the establishment of the People's Republic of China, which suggests that this grandfather is at least 70 or 80 years old.

Furthermore, you stated that he lost his parents at a young age and that his siblings were also absent from his life. Decades later, he has reached this advanced age, which demonstrates that, in addition to the misfortune he has experienced, this grandfather has also faced significant challenges throughout his life.

As he reaches this age, and as the people around him pass away, even if he is knowledgeable and aware, he may feel isolated without anyone to share and communicate with.

When a child is able to articulate these sentiments, it provides a sense of validation and understanding that is highly valued by the grandfather.

Given the passage of time and the likelihood of limited familiarity with his experiences, there may be few individuals with whom he can discuss his past.

Your words conveyed to Grandpa that someone else could understand him and was willing to listen to him express his feelings. For an elderly individual, this is akin to having a relative again.

In addition, your grandfather observed that you were amenable to discussing topics that might not have been of interest to others. He also noted that you seemed to have experienced similar challenges during your own childhood.

Furthermore, you noted that your facial expressions mirrored his when discussing his past at your grandfather's house. This is an example of a sympathetic reaction between individuals.

An elderly person meeting with someone who can understand and listen to them, even if that person is just a child, will foster a strong sense of closeness and also prompt the recollection of their own challenging childhood experiences. This is because the elderly individual will recognize a shared experience of childhood adversity at a similar age.

It is possible that this grandfather saw a reflection of himself in you and also thought about his past.

His care and assistance for you is akin to caring for one's own inner self.

This level of affection is comparable to that which one would experience with a loved one.

You indicated that you were unable to comprehend why he held you in such high regard. It is possible that at that age, it was challenging for you to grasp the actions of an individual of his advanced age.

Because to him, you are like a family member. We rely on family members, and we are willing to provide them with care and support without reservation.

You inquire as to what impressed him. It may be the sentence you uttered and your willingness to listen to his stories.

Listening is the ultimate gesture of kindness and warmth that the world can offer to an elderly individual facing a challenging situation.

My name is Bo, sir.

Since the questioner has said several times that my reply is biased, I'll keep adding content, not to correct my own bias (because I'm not sure where it is), but to show that it's biased if you think it is.

Sometimes, solving a mystery in your heart is like a detective trying to find the truth by using his brain.

So this isn't really an answer to your question, but more of a brain-burning reasoning exercise. If you're interested in solving the problem, you can work together to do so.

You started off by saying, "If it is said that... then... but..." This is a way of putting forward an argument.

It's full of uncertainty and doubt.

There are two reasons why he won't give it all to me. First, it's impossible given his knowledge and awareness. Second, even if I have his appreciation and he decides to help me become successful, he doesn't need to be in such a hurry.

The main points of doubt are:

I'm left wondering why he left everything to me, not just part of it, but everything.

In your reply to others, you said that he had no choice, which means that even if he had a spouse and daughter, he still left everything to you, which is impossible for an elderly person with his knowledge and awareness. So you don't think this explanation makes sense.

As a reader, I'm not sure I understand what you mean when you say he had no choice. Could you clarify which aspect of the situation you're referring to?

You said your expectations of him aren't materialistic. So, let's speculate: Is it a hope to be taken in and cared for? Financial support is considered materialistic.

I'm still not sure why he's so reserved. I guess we'll never know for sure.

In any case, he helped you achieve success, which is seen as a positive thing.

If you work hard to achieve something for yourself, it's not a waste for him to pour his heart out for you. And if you can also help him take care of his family, that's also a kind of repayment.

But why do you feel bothered by whether there is another reason?

So there must be another reason for his complete honesty.

Do you think there's a better reason? Or do you not believe in the reason that can be explained?

Or do you think there's more to it?

3. Why is he in such a hurry?

Think about some other reasons he might have. Could it be that time is running out? Or is it because he has a bad relationship with his family and has turned his back on them?

"I'm old now after decades of hard work, and this is how I end up."

The reason for this is because you said this is what the end result would be.

So, this hard fate means that he doesn't have much time left, that he is not in good health? That he is old and lonely, and his family doesn't get along?

What kind of end are you talking about?

If there's not much time left, it's natural to worry that if he dies, his family won't leave you everything.

If the family isn't on good terms, this anxiety could be a result of feeling responsible and as if the family is being punished for not treating him well.

I think there might be a cause and effect here.

I'm not sure when it started, but he's become a bit emotionally dependent on me and started sharing a lot about his childhood.

I was more than happy to listen, even though I was young at the time.

I said something back then that made a difference for him.

So this sentence has changed him since I don't know when. Is there a causal relationship at this point in time, or is it more of a cause and effect thing?

Did he open up to you about his childhood because you were so receptive?

The word "a lot" can also be used to verify that although he has a wife and daughter, no one actually wants to listen to him talk about his childhood. So he only talks about it when he meets someone who is willing to listen, and he talks a lot.

He talks a lot about his childhood.

The key here is what happened to him when he was a child. He told you a lot about what happened when he was a child, not when he was an adult.

But I didn't expect him to say this after hearing it: "I didn't think such a little baby could do that. I know you. You also went through a lot when you were young."

Can you confirm whether he feels a connection between your childhood experiences and his?

He said, "I know you." And then he added, "You also had a tough time as a kid."

You mentioned that you lost both your parents at a young age and that your siblings passed away when you were young. He said that you suffered a little.

Does this mean that compared to what he went through, your experience was relatively minor?

He told you so many stories about his childhood because you were going through a tough time too. You were feeling lost and helpless, and he was there to help.

And the reason he tells you so many stories from his childhood is to show you that there are people who are even more miserable than he is. But he's come through it.

I hope you have the courage to persevere and tackle this head on.

Doubt 7: Even if I get his recognition and make him decide to help me succeed.

You mentioned appreciation and talent, which suggests that the elderly person also sees potential in you that's worth building on.

So, were all the stories he told you about his childhood meant to encourage and inspire you?

Can you also confirm that he isn't emotionally dependent on his wife and daughter?

So, he has no choice? What exactly does this lack of choice refer to?

That question has already been asked.

If you think he has no choice, why are you still unsure about why he's right?

It looks like there's a bit of a contradiction here.

Question 9: The old man is gone, so why are we dwelling on this reason now?

You're not sure, and you think there might be more to it than meets the eye.

There's got to be another reason for his unreserved attitude.

We still don't know why he values me so highly.

I've got a few ideas:

1. Is it just to think about the answer? But you know the real answer has been buried for a long time.

It's possible that no one's answer is the truth.

2. Could it be because of a sense of guilt?

Given that he was all about you, and as a result, let down his wife and daughter, how can you repay him now that he's gone? You don't know why he was like that or what he expected from you.

If you know how, you can do it and it will be seen as a reward.

3. Or is it to reduce your own sense of guilt?

If there are other reasons for his behavior that I don't know about, I can understand that he has other motives. Those reasons can make you feel less guilty because if you expect something else, then giving your full support can be seen as an investment, which can reduce the emotional burden.

Once more, I want to be clear that this isn't a response because I don't have all the facts. Just think of it as an exercise in reasoning.

It just expresses my doubts.

I'm Bo, sir.

Greetings!

I believe I can relate to some of your feelings. There is the comfort of encountering a kindred spirit, as well as the calculated desire, the indescribable confusion, and the inexplicable melancholy.

It's possible that your early experiences may have helped you mature at a faster pace, giving you a deeper understanding of certain things that might be more challenging for your peers to grasp. I'm not sure if you've reached the level of maturity that comes with adulthood at your age. I'm also curious about why you're drawn to someone you refer to as "grandpa." Does resonance refer to an inner connection, or am I misunderstanding?

If I may, I would like to share something that I am not sure will be helpful.

1. Perhaps it would be helpful to set aside the fantastical elements in your mind and consider interpersonal relationships on a more realistic level.

For instance, when interacting with an elderly person, you might observe a similarity in facial expressions and feel a connection, which could potentially allow you to enter their inner world. However, it's important to recognize that such observations may be influenced by subjective interpretations and fantasies.

We may sometimes believe what we want to believe, and this can result in us overlooking the real differences between people. For instance, two people with significant differences in age, life experience and social experience may have inner thoughts, needs and thinking patterns that are very different. It is also true that they may have some similarities, but the differences are also objectively real. If we want to find empathy, it would be helpful to have in-depth communication, rather than making assumptions based on our own subjective views.

2. It would be beneficial to acknowledge your true inner needs and cultivate a sense of self-reliance.

While your desire for success and the understanding and empathy of others are all very good, to achieve true satisfaction, it may be helpful to consider facing these needs in your heart, slowly cultivating an independent sense of self, and taking practical steps to achieve your ideals.

3. It would be beneficial to abandon excessive narcissism, cultivate self-confidence, and gain a sense of self-worth.

It seems that you feel the other person relies on you a little, but you don't feel that you have any reason to impress him. It also seems that you feel that the other person's thoughts and knowledge are unattainable for you. Perhaps you are expending too much energy on these matters, and in fact, this may be a manifestation of excessive narcissism, lack of self-confidence, and a low sense of self-worth.

From a realistic point of view, it is important to recognize that the other person's knowledge, ideas, and experience are inextricably linked to their age. If you feel that the other person is unattainable in these areas, it may be helpful to consider that you may be using your own shortcomings to compare with the other person's strengths. This can naturally lead to feelings of less confidence. To overcome this lack of confidence, it can be beneficial to focus on your own strengths and not compare your shortcomings with other people's strengths.

It might be that all the emotional fluctuations within you are a natural part of youth. While it is a beautiful and precious process, you may find it beneficial to enjoy it while being more rational, more calm, and more down-to-earth, which could help to ensure a smoother life path.

I hope that Hongyu's reply will be helpful to you. Thank you for asking!

Hello,

Host:

After reading the post, I had a few questions. I also noticed that the poster had bravely shared his feelings and was actively seeking help, which would help him understand the situation better.

Next, I'll share some observations and reflections from the post that might help the original poster see things differently.

1. Empathy

Reading the original poster's post made me think of a story. What's the story?

He was a grandfather whose wife had unfortunately passed away. He locked himself in his room and refused to eat or drink.

Relatives, friends, and neighbors all tried to persuade him to come out for a bite to eat and a walk. Eventually, they gave up.

Everyone was feeling pretty anxious at the time, and then a little boy walked in. It wasn't long before the grandfather came out.

Someone asked the little boy, "How did you get Grandpa to come out?" The little boy said, "I didn't say anything. I just sat with Grandpa and cried for a while."

I'm not sure if the original poster was inspired by this story, but I'd like to understand why adults couldn't persuade him.

Don't adults have more experience than children? Why didn't they persuade the grandfather?

We've also seen how adults persuade people when they encounter these things in their daily lives. They often say, "Don't be sad. He has abandoned you, so why are you sad for him?"

It's important to take care of your health and eat a balanced diet. These effects are often not very good.

From what I've learned, it's crucial for someone who's been through trauma to feel like they have someone who can empathize with them. It's about making them feel like they're not alone, that someone gets it, that they're allowed to feel sad, etc.

There's a saying in psychology that sums this up nicely: "The essence of life is to be seen."

So both the grandfather in the story and the one mentioned in the original poster's post were seen for their inner sadness and hardship. And this satisfies people's most essential needs.

So, that's why they value you so much! This is probably one of the most important reasons.

2. Being there for someone and listening to them is a great way to show you care.

After the host said that, the grandfather started telling me all about what he did when he was a kid, as well as what he did around the founding of New China and during the reform and opening up period. I was happy to listen.

I also noticed how the host was there for the grandfather and listened to him. I'd like to share my thoughts on this, which the host might find helpful.

Since we only had a limited amount of information from the Q&A session, it might not be completely accurate.

From what I can tell from the post, the grandfather has experienced the death of both parents and the death of his teenage siblings. Given all he's been through, I think he really needs someone to talk to!

After all, there aren't many people around you can really confide in. It's like the saying goes: you can open your address book but can't find anyone to chat with, or someone to listen to your heart's desires.

So, this grandfather is willing to talk, and you are also willing to listen. What kind of feelings will that give him?

The original poster might want to think about their own experiences. Sometimes having someone there with you, even if they don't say anything, even if they say things that aren't very helpful, but just having someone there quietly with you, what does that feel like?

It's worth noting that simply being there and listening can provide a lot of emotional value. It's also important to recognize that elderly individuals may often feel more isolated than younger people.

3. It might be down to the grandfather himself.

As the post mentioned, this grandfather has a high level of knowledge. I imagine it wasn't easy for him to accumulate such knowledge.

So, if he doesn't have it anymore, would he be okay with that? I don't know if the original poster has ever met someone like this elderly person, who, when they get old, really likes to tell stories and share their experiences from the past.

And why do the elderly feel this way? My understanding is that they hope to pass on their experience and knowledge.

Even though their lives are limited, they can still pass on their knowledge, will, and experience. This can be a great source of comfort for them! Similarly, looking back on the past, I think it will also give them a sense of accomplishment!

On the other hand, when you get old, you can still help young people with all your strength. This will also give you a sense of accomplishment and a sense of value! For this old man, these two things may be very important.

As we age, we tend to appreciate our limitations more and realize we can't do as much as we used to. This can lead to feelings of powerlessness and worthlessness. Of course, this is just one perspective.

I hope these words will be helpful and inspiring for the person who asked the question. My name is Zeng Chen, and I'm a certified psychosynthesis coach.

Hello. Your story is about a grandfather who relies on you, trusts you, and is willing to open up and chat with you about his past.

You can talk to him because of "resonance," or spiritual empathy. You cherish this resonance, but you're also a little puzzled.

You stated that your facial expressions were similar when you talked.

At the age of 14, you could already sense the old man's sadness: "He lost his parents at a young age, and his siblings also died. After working hard for decades, he ended up like this in his old age."

You know you have the chance to connect with this grandfather on a deeper level.

Your story does not mention your own emotions or experiences.

When a grandfather or an elder trusts and relies on you alone and is willing to tell you about his experiences, you feel a little overwhelmed and valued and needed.

This grandfather has experienced a lot, having lived through New China and the Reform and Opening Up. I know you admire him more than you feel pity for him, given the ups and downs of his life.

Your story confirms that you are a patient, kind, and gentle child.

People without patience can't stand listening to the elderly's long-winded ramblings. Only kind people are willing to spend time with and enlighten others.

You have encountered an elderly man full of life and warmth, and you have felt that warmth. He has told you the story that has been building up inside him for a long time.

Your story mentions the timeline twice.

You said I was only 14 years old at the time.

You said that, after all, you were young at the time, and there's no way of knowing why he valued me so highly.

I am certain that this friendship between a young person and an old man not only warmed the old man's heart, but also gave you some strength and made you aware of some of your abilities.

Many years later, you want to find an answer.

I want to know why someone who has experienced so much in life would be willing to open up and trust me.

You want to know why you were trusted and relied on so deeply at the time, don't you?

After reading your story, I am going to tell you how I feel.

1. I know you are a person with a delicate heart and an eye for others, both then and now.

You will only pay attention to an elderly person, accurately describe their suffering, and clearly remember a conversation from long ago, even years later, if you do it this way.

When you were a child, you were not carefree or innocent. You had feelings about life because of your experiences.

Otherwise, a sad life will not resonate with you. You have to experience some bitterness in life.

3. I want to know how you are doing now.

We often find it difficult to forget the things and moments that have made a lasting impression on us. We want to relive the happiness and joy of the past and repair the pain and sadness of the past.

Have you ever had anyone else open their heart to you without reservation? Have you ever felt that you could trust and rely on someone?

This old man showed his soft and vulnerable side to a 14-year-old.

This child gave him what he needed: quiet listening and companionship, which gave him great comfort and relief.

Then, do you want this scene to repeat itself? Listen again as the old man tells you his story.

You can also ask the old man for advice on some of life's perplexing questions and find a place to release your vulnerability and softness that you cannot do elsewhere.

4. You are not the 14-year-old child you were. But you know you haven't forgotten that grandfather.

You will remember his trust and reliance on you.

Over the years, you have gained valuable life experience and understanding. If the old man confides in you again, you will be ready to offer guidance and support.

Apart from listening to his sorrows, you can offer him words of comfort from your own life experience. You should do something for him.

5. This experience when you were young had a significant impact on you. It stayed with you for a long time.

You are a gentle person. You care about other people's feelings.

The old man talked to you about his life experiences, and you gave him great company.

You must talk about it. Only then will sadness fade. If you keep it inside, it will always be there.

You can transform the past into the wind by talking about it. Then you can look forward.

You gave the old man a lot of comfort back then. You let him know that his life had been seen.

This feeling and experience is very beautiful. He is always willing to talk to you about his past.

When you were young, you were treated like an adult. You were respected, valued, recognized, affirmed, and needed.

When I always need others, I am still a child.

I have grown up and I know how to be needed by others.

8. The old man told you a lot about his life, and you felt needed. That felt good.

Apart from feeling needed, did you feel powerless at the time?

You can only listen to the sadness of the elderly. You can't help or solve the problem.

The older you, the one asking the questions, will undoubtedly want to help the elderly person to be happier and more joyful.

9. Your story doesn't adequately describe your emotions and feelings.

Given the limited content, I will say:

Kindness is a force in itself. So is companionship and seeing.

You once had this power. You still have it now.

I am confident that my answer has been of some help to you.

Hello, question asker.

I want to know why you asked a question that you had already explained and seemed to have found an answer to.

I want to know your age. I also want to know what kind of relationship you have with the "him" in the text.

At just 14 years old, it was truly remarkable that you could be so empathetic.

We don't know if your kind words made him see you as a friend despite the age difference.

From the materials, it is clear that

Your empathetic questions in the early years touched him.

"Grandpa, you've had a hard life. You lost your parents when you were young, and your siblings when you were a teenager.

"Hard work for decades and ending up like this in old age."

This sentence was emotionally devastating and infectious, and it hit him right in the heart.

He will respond with gratitude.

This will inevitably lead to a mutual emotional involvement, and his dependence on you is simply a natural consequence.

This is why he values you.

There is absolutely no reason to criticize it.

I also want to know what the old man's family is like.

If he lives alone, your company will fill the void and ease his loneliness.

He sees you as an emotional support, and his dependence on you is therefore natural.

Hello, host. I hope my answer helps.

I agree with you. This is a kind of "resonance." Why does "resonance" occur?

You understand him as a person, which touches him and makes him open up. He talks about his childhood, and at that time, it was like he was a child again. You can understand him and comfort him. Interestingly, you were also a child at that time.

In real life, I also meet impressive people with power, status, and wealth. They seem to have everything they want, but we all have vulnerable sides. This is the inner child in each of us. If this child has never been healed, it will always show its vulnerability. This is the softest place in the heart of each of us.

People in high positions often have no one to talk to. Most people think they are indestructible and seem to be "capable of anything." Therefore, few people will listen to them and talk about their true feelings.

Your short sentence touched Grandpa's heart. When Grandpa heard it, he must have been especially moved because you understand him.

This "resonance" made him feel safe. He would tell you about his past, and you would listen, which makes him feel secure.

The host is very good at understanding others. He showed this when he was a child. Your empathy helped your grandfather. I think your listening and understanding touched him deeply. It seems like an ordinary thing, but it meant a lot to him.

In "Our Boiling Life," stars like Chen Xiaochun, Zhang Zhilin, and Gao Hanyu cried when they were recognized and understood by stationmaster Eddie Hamu.

Everyone needs to be seen, understood, and accepted. It's a touching and grateful experience when someone in our lives understands us and supports us.

Grandpa is lucky to have met you. You understand him well.

We all have an inner child who needs soothing. If we're lucky, we'll meet someone like the landlord who understands us. If not, we need to learn to understand ourselves and embrace our inner child to heal past pain.

This is just a reference. I hope it helps. Best wishes.

Hello, question asker! I'm happy to discuss this with you.

From what the questioner says, it's clear that he has received the best of his grandfather's cultivation. This has led him to feel confused, right?

The questioner is acutely aware of a deep connection with his grandfather, which I believe is more akin to empathy than mere resonance.

Empathy is the ability to understand and respond to the unique experiences of others. The questioner demonstrated this ability when he was 14 years old by saying those words to his grandfather.

Your grandfather approves of you because he sees an advantage in you that others do not.

Empathy is a challenging concept. It's not easy to grasp another person's unique experience, let alone respond to it in a way that's perceived as empathetic. Perhaps the questioner's ability to empathize was seen as a rare and valuable quality by the grandfather, prompting him to invest in your development.

A kind word is like a warm winter, even after three winters. You gave your grandfather a feeling of understanding and made him feel the warmth of family affection with a heartfelt remark you made when you were young.

There is a saying on the internet: "Do not advise others to be kind without having suffered yourself." The questioner had suffered in his childhood, which is why he was able to empathize with his grandfather's difficulties. In response, the grandfather told him, "I know you, you also suffered a bit when you were young."

This proves the grandfather is concerned about the questioner and sympathizes with his situation.

The questioner also stated that he sees his own reflection in his grandfather's face. It is likely that the grandfather also sees the reflection of his childhood.

Your grandfather is not just teaching you; he is making up for his regrets from his childhood. Parents and elders pour their love and abilities into their juniors because they see their own reflection in them.

They want to avoid passing on their own regrets to their descendants. Everyone wants to see perfection in their descendants, even if they aren't the biological parents. They won't have any regrets!

In conclusion, I firmly believe that the grandfather's investment in the questioner is a form of intergenerational intimacy. As the questioner correctly stated, sharing his past experiences with the child is a powerful way to connect with them.

The deeper reason is that they want to pass on their experience to the younger generation so that they can avoid making the same mistakes. Why do grandparents feel close to their grandchildren?

The elderly have less and less control over their children due to accumulated friction and arguments. There is less and less common ground. Many relationships between parents and children are still very tense. Regardless of the relationship with their children, parental love has not changed. It is easier to express love for the younger generation in the form of grandchildren.

The grandchildren's affection for their grandparents will undoubtedly comfort them in return, alleviating any loneliness or isolation.

Once again, because when middle-aged and elderly people were young, they were either busy with their careers, struggling to make ends meet, or simply immature. They deeply felt that they had not cared for their children enough and had not expressed enough love. Now that they are retired, they have a lot of time, and they can make up for this deficiency with their grandchildren. They can fulfill their wishes and resolve their regrets. This is also one of the reasons why the questioner's grandfather wants to cultivate the questioner and likes to tell the questioner about the past.

Many people think that grandparenting will spoil the child. They're wrong. There are still many advantages to grandparenting.

1. It benefits social harmony by allowing many young people to significantly reduce the burden of raising children, devote themselves better to their work, focus more energy on creating wealth, and promote social development.

2. It benefits the younger generation by reducing the time and effort required to care for children. They can focus on their work, free from worries, and devote themselves to their careers.

3. It is beneficial to grandchildren. Middle-aged and elderly people are patient, especially when it comes to educating their grandchildren. They are meticulous and unwearied in their efforts, which is of great benefit to the growth and development of their grandchildren. Many "prodigies" stand out because they received advanced guidance from their grandparents.

4. It is beneficial to the grandparents. There's no doubt about it: accompanying the grandchildren not only relieves loneliness, but also gives you a sense of vitality from watching the children grow up. Moreover, the middle-aged and elderly can also gain great spiritual relief, and will also revive the "childlike innocence" that has not yet been extinguished in middle-aged and elderly people.

The elderly naturally like their grandchildren, so there is no need to worry. As long as you do your best and later repay your grandfather with achievements, that is the greatest filial piety.

I am confident that my answer will be helpful to the questioner.

Hello, host! I can feel it from the words you describe. It would be great if you could also know why that grandfather was kind to you, because he had lost both his parents.

The poor Shaolin brothers and sisters have worked so hard for decades, and now they're in their old age and in such a sad state.

Your words really touched his heart. He felt like he was understood by a 14-year-old girl. He saw how much pain I had gone through. It's true that their generation really suffered a lot, but some of their pain is truly beyond words compared to what we experience now. We are truly so blessed.

It's possible that few people in his life have mentioned such things to him, and there's also very little empathy.

Empathy was first suggested by the founder of humanism, Carl Rogers. It's the amazing ability to understand what someone is going through on the inside. There are three different meanings to it:

1. The counselor uses the words and actions of the person seeking help to experience the emotions and thoughts of the other person.

2. The counselor uses their knowledge and experience to understand how the person's experience connects to their own and to grasp the essence of the problem.

3. The counselor uses counseling techniques to show their empathy for the other person so they can influence them and get feedback. To him, you're a 14-year-old child who did it.

He thinks this is very admirable of you, and he said so himself. I'm sure you agree!

Life is moving so fast these days, isn't it? It's so important to make the most of every moment. I'm sure you'll agree. It's so lovely that you listened to him so intently as he told his stories. You paid so much attention to him. I'm sure he felt very happy.

I can see that the host might not fully recognize his own value and feel that he doesn't deserve to be matched and valued in this way. It's natural to wonder why he's being so good to you.

It seems like you're still on the same topic. Why do you think he's helping you like this? Do you think he has another reason?

I can feel these things from your words, sweetheart. I'm not sure if they're useful to you, though.

Oh, absolutely! He'll tell you all kinds of fascinating stories about his childhood and the history of China after its founding. It's a wonderful way to connect with him and learn more about his experiences.

You're meeting all of his needs, and it's so wonderful to see! Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a great way to understand what motivates us. It says that our motivation comes from a desire to fulfill certain needs. These needs can be grouped into different categories, and there's a specific order in which we prioritize them. When we satisfy our needs at each level, it helps us grow and develop as individuals.

Let me tell you a little bit more about this. Human needs are divided into five main groups: physiological needs, safety needs, social needs, respect needs, and self-fulfillment needs. These are in order of importance.

. to be seen for who he really is.

Try to empathize with him. There might also be an element of empathy in it. He sees you as his "who," and you see him as his "who." This kind of dependence is between loved ones, right?

Hello, I read your question and the responses.

I'll say a few words.

First, you felt an energy attraction. You thought your faces looked similar. You were 14, but to the elderly, you were young. You said the elderly person was outstanding and knowledgeable. Perhaps the elderly saw the same in you.

You listened to him. Some old people like to talk about the past. They think of happy memories. They don't talk about sad memories. They are happy to share their past with you. You listened to him. You didn't ignore him. The old person chose the right person.

Third, you got to know each other. You stayed true to yourself and touched the old man with your sincerity. The old man said he knew you had suffered. Maybe you always had a special place in his heart. This was the first time you sat down together.

Sometimes, fate is strange. You gained the love of such an insightful and wonderful old man. You have qualities others don't have. Good luck!

Good morning, I hope this message finds you well. I would like to take this opportunity to extend my sincerest regards to you.

Thank you for the opportunity to respond. While I am uncertain if I can fully comprehend the questioner's sentiments or provide meaningful assistance, I will address the matter with due diligence and attention. The description provided may indicate that the questioner seeks not just an answer, but also a sense of understanding. I have included some relevant references below for your consideration:

After considerable deliberation, I determined that the most appropriate term was "resonance."

I conducted further online research to ascertain the definition of the term "resonance."

The term "resonance" is widely used in the field of physics. It describes a situation in which a physical system vibrates at a specific frequency and wavelength with a greater amplitude than other frequencies and wavelengths. These specific frequencies and wavelengths are referred to as resonance frequencies and resonance wavelengths.

In fact, upon initially encountering the term "resonance," I was also reminded of the phrase "same frequency." Interestingly, when these two words are combined, they form a Chinese phrase that frequently pertains to resonance or synergy in regards to thoughts, consciousness, speech, and mental state.

In this case, the literal meaning is the primary focus.

2. If I were to visit his residence, engage in conversation with him, and observe a resemblance in our facial expressions, there might be an opportunity to gain his trust.

The key word is "like."

The term "like" is used to convey a sense of similarity or resemblance. It can also be extended to signify the creation of an image or representation that bears resemblance to a person.

In a literal sense, the questioner perceives a striking resemblance between his own facial expression and yours. This observation leads him to conclude that if he is like you, then you are like him. This implies a shared cognitive process and a potential alignment in thought patterns.

3. However, this does not guarantee that he will provide assistance. There are two reasons for this: firstly, given his knowledge and awareness of the situation, this is an unfeasible request. Secondly, even if I gain his approval and persuade him to support my success, there is no immediate urgency.

The questioner is perceptive and astute, considering the nuances of the situation. While there may be similarities, it's crucial to recognize that not everything can be reduced to mere resemblance. The questioner is aware of the inherent differences in our relationship, particularly in terms of knowledge and ideological alignment. Given our disparate life experiences, comparisons may not be entirely fair.

4. Therefore, there must be another reason for his unreserved attitude. I believe I may have said something that changed him.

I informed him that he had endured significant challenges, including the loss of both parents and siblings, as well as a lifetime of hard work. Despite my youth, I was aware that these were serious issues. However, I was unprepared for his response: "I am astonished that someone so young could have experienced such difficulties. I know you. You also faced challenges when you were younger."

"

The key term is "bitter."

The original meaning is bitter vegetables. Over time, the term came to represent the taste of bitterness and later, suffering and pain.

From the above passage, it can be surmised that the sentiments expressed by both parties were genuine. Despite the differences in wording, the underlying emotions are strikingly similar. The essence of suffering is the same, which is why it feels so poignant.

Although we were only 14 at the time, we felt that we were just kids joking around. However, we may have simply articulated what Grandpa himself wanted to say but was afraid to express. In a sense, few individuals are able to engage in such a dialogue with Grandpa, and you are the sole person he recalls. Additionally, Grandpa began to reconsider his life, which is why he was in such a hurry.

It is possible that in many cases, individuals desire to be seen by others.

5. I am unsure of the precise timing, but he has become somewhat dependent on me emotionally. He began to share a great deal of information about his childhood, his activities during the founding of New China, and his experiences during the Reform and Opening Up period. Despite my willingness to listen, I was still quite young at the time, and I am unsure why he valued me so highly at that time.

As a result of this unique interaction, the grandfather has developed a new perspective on you. He may also view you as a representation of his future self, which instills a sense of security or hope within him. However, this insight is exclusive to the grandfather himself.

6. What is the rationale for impressing him?

The questioner is also perplexed by the title and asks, "Why should I impress him?"

The questioner may already have the answer, but is seeking confirmation. Alternatively, the questioner may not have the answer and is not reliant on it.

From my perspective, the author demonstrates a high level of respect for this grandfather. Consequently, I find myself reflecting on this topic from time to time. Initially, you perceived him as a highly knowledgeable individual. However, he was also just a 14-year-old child. You felt that your relationship was not on an equal footing, which prompted your curiosity about his actions and motivations.

It is possible that he is lecturing us in the role of an elder, or perhaps he also sees his former self and wants to help and give more. However, I believe that he sees more of your truth and sincerity, which happens to be something he lacks. (I do not intend to belittle the grandfather in any way. As we grow older, we may gain certain insights but may still lack the courage to address certain issues.) You perceive the external inequality, while he sees the internal inequality. It seems that when placed together, they are equal again.

Sometimes, a single point is all that is required for us to get along with others. This could be a sentence, a voice, an identity, or even a fragment of experience.

The law of attraction posits that there is a magnetic field between people. This field determines the kind of people you will meet. Despite our differences, we all share a fundamental similarity. This is why we sometimes experience a sense of kinship with people who have been kind to us, and why we are drawn to be kind to others in return.

It is not always necessary to divide it clearly, provided that we feel positive about the process.

I hope the above is both inspiring and helpful to you. I also appreciate your writing, which has given me some new thoughts and understanding. Please feel free to add any shortcomings. I can feel that you are a very knowledgeable person, but you could be more assertive. I look forward to meeting a better you. The world and we love you together.

If you can talk openly about each other's childhoods, it will help you both trust each other more! You may also have some talents, or there may be some very similar aspects to your personal experiences. There are so many reasons why this will be beneficial for you both!

From your description, it's not clear what his background is, who he is, what he does, and why you must impress him. But that just means there's so much to discover! You can see that there are many similar aspects in the facial expressions of both parties, which is a great starting point.

It might be more challenging to do something, especially something impossible, but it could also inspire him to fight. And if it's really impossible, why not try to find another direction?

The other person wants to wish you success and help you succeed, but you are full of doubts, which is quite unbelievable. Perhaps deep down you are still unsure about the relationship, and there is some unrest in your heart.

The other person can empathize with you about something from your childhood, and perhaps out of respect for you, he will also tell you his own story. This is a great way to boost confidence!

You are willing to listen, and the other person is willing to talk. That's pretty good! You may still have some uncertainties, but that's okay. Why not just ask him directly? It'll be more direct than your own analysis. You can also talk to a heart exploration coach or psychological listener about some recent thoughts, so that you can focus your energy on the big things. Good luck!

ZQ?

"Some things are perhaps best shared with people who understand."

"A true friend in life..."

In answering the other questions, I tried to provide thoughtful responses that were both professional and empathetic.

This question and answer prompted me to consider a number of possibilities, which I ultimately found to be unfeasible.

I was very interested in hearing this story, as if it had happened right next to me, but I felt that might be impolite and unethical.

I hope I'm not imposing by listening to someone's story, rather than answering. Based on my own assumptions, I understand this untold and intriguing story, and it gives me some inspiration for life. Life has all kinds of possibilities.

Some things are best kept private, shared only with those who truly understand. Some people may have an innate advantage, or they may acquire it later in life. He has the ability to empathize, and he can easily understand and sympathize with others, enter their hearts, and withdraw from other people's emotions.

Could you be one of the few who understand him?

It could be said that many emotions are elevated or seem more precious precisely because of mutual understanding and empathy. This could apply to family love, friendship, or love in general.

It is also thought that empathy and wisdom can play a part in determining personal charm.

I am reminded of the characters played by Ni Ni and Chen Daoming in "Golden Years" when I think of friends across the generations or people with a big age gap who understand each other intrinsically. However, in the questioner's confession, there seems to be more to it than that, and it is uncertain. Perhaps it is more sensitive in terms of identity, and it is indeed rare for souls to collide.

Age and status can both contribute to feelings of loneliness. It's not easy to understand oneself, and having a close friend in life is certainly a blessing.

In a relationship, it's natural for both partners to have different levels of certainty or uncertainty at different times. Some things are within your control, while others require you to explore and understand in practice. Having a high certainty index and a high control index can help you avoid hesitation and confusion, and make decisions or take action.

I believe it is a combination of the right time, place, and people, as well as other contributing factors, that can lead to something.

There may be many questions in life that we cannot fully answer, and there are things that we cannot fully control. It takes time to think and grow, to understand and master our own boundaries, or to understand what we should do, what we can do, and what we cannot do.

On occasion, we may perceive similarities between ourselves and others, which can foster greater understanding and success in our interactions.

Some factors are not independent, singular, or absolute, but rather interrelated. It could be said that a person is beautiful because they are cute, or cute because they are beautiful.

I also considered the words "epoch-making," "time," and "protection."

I hope these thoughts and inspirations are helpful, though I realize I'm not the ideal person to provide a definitive answer to this question.

May the questioner find comfort in your beliefs, embrace what they cannot understand, and enjoy the freedom of the wind.

This story has been edited and is full of rich meaning, with a strong sense of personalization. It is expressed on a public platform and seeks some kind of answer.

A high reward will undoubtedly attract numerous responses. However, the questioner is acutely aware that the genuine answer is beyond the comprehension of these onlookers.

You want an answer, but you know the answer others will give you isn't the real one.

The following is just a glimpse through the blind man's touch, sharing some of my observations and thoughts from the words in the message. It provides the questioner with more perspectives for reference.

1. The relationship between the questioner and the protagonist in the story is complex and entangled.

The above contradictions make it clear that the relationship between the questioner who wrote the story and the other protagonist in the Q&A is one of support and intertwined struggles and contradictions.

The age difference between the two is evident in the words, which show your admiration for this character. It's clear why the questioner is pondering the reason for your impact on the other person.

This reason can be described as a feeling of uncertainty about being so moved and joy at moving the other person.

The complexity and entanglement of the relationship is the starting point for understanding the reason.

An impression always involves two subjects.

The person who is impressed and the person who impresses. Given the limited scope of the interaction discussed in this article, it is essential for the questioner to reflect on the trajectory of the relationship and identify the key milestones.

Second, the person involved in the event of "being impressed" knows best.

Ask the protagonist directly, not an irrelevant third person. This can all happen in a less formal conversation.

From interactions and casual conversations, you can discern what impresses the other person. For example, you can ask, "We've known each other for so long. What do you think attracts us to each other?"

Now, it's time to understand yourself.

Third, understand your own characteristics.

There are differences and similarities in interactions with individuals. There are likely other people who are closer to him as well.

This part helps us identify our best qualities from the perspective of others.

It undoubtedly contains the reason why the protagonist values and is impressed by you.

I am not exploring human nature. I am a therapist who cares about the human heart. I wish you well.

Hello, question asker. It's a pleasure to meet you.

Two generations don't matter when hearts connect. Fate brought you together.

At 14, you have already experienced more than he has in his lifetime. You can empathize with his experiences and have summed it up in a sentence.

He feels understood. He may be a lonely person, but he has plenty of stories in his heart. In his eyes, you are a warm and surprising presence.

He has come to terms with the joys and sorrows, the ups and downs of the world. He knows you suffered some hardship when you were young and has started to show you his utmost care and concern without reservation. You must feel very touched. It is obvious that people with many differences in age and background find it difficult to hit it off at first sight and feel like they have been waiting a long time to meet.

This is not only true in feudal societies that value seniority, but also in today's society.

Cherish the relationship and help each other.

His knowledge and ideological awareness also amaze and impress you.

I can't think of a reason why he would be so open with me. He won't give me everything, and I shouldn't be so anxious.

He is emotionally dependent on you.

We can't analyze all the reasons for Grandpa's actions because of the differences in age and experience. You have emotional resonance, which is what you call "resonance."

The lonely man met the warm-hearted you. As an elderly man, he sees you, a young flower, and knows you have what it takes to become successful. He also wants to leave a little trace of himself in this world.

He doesn't feel so lonely, and you know he can help you become successful.

Cherish the bond and help each other. The lonely man needs your company, and the older man has a lot of valuable experience to share.

His value for you will become apparent through repeated exchanges.

Communicate with an honest heart, regardless of the age difference.

Emotional and spiritual exchanges must take place in a situation of mutual trust.

A heart-to-heart encounter must be sincere. Sincerity is the only way to touch people's hearts.

In sincerity, we face ourselves and our hearts directly, without being self-righteous or belittling ourselves.

I am certain that the questioner will grow up healthily and achieve success in his studies.

The world and I love you.

I am gratified to observe that you have sought assistance, and it is my hope that the information I am sharing will prove beneficial to you.

The gradual emotional and emotional dependence of an elderly person on oneself can cause confusion and feelings of powerlessness. One may be concerned that one's limited experience and knowledge may prevent one from providing adequate support to the elderly. Conversely, the elderly may believe that they possess sufficient experience and insight to manage their own affairs without the assistance of an inexperienced individual. This can lead to uncertainty about the elderly person's intentions in approaching one. It is evident that one is a kind but sensible child who is aware of the need to protect oneself. The confusion and concerns arise from a desire to protect oneself more effectively, which may manifest as a tendency to be somewhat guarded with others.

It is only those who are able to protect themselves effectively who are able to benefit others through their kindness. Therefore, kindness must be carefully considered and planned. This is not only necessary for self-protection, but also the key to ensuring that the kindness you give is not wasted.

Indeed, the elderly often seek to recount their past experiences because they perceive you to understand them. They feel seen by you, which is of great importance to them. It may be that they have consistently lacked this and have been unable to fulfill this aspect of themselves, but they have unintentionally fulfilled it with you. Despite your own youth, this is of no consequence to them. They are more concerned with being seen and understood. At this time, they feel relatively safe in your presence and are willing to face and open up the most vulnerable part of themselves. This part has always been suppressed due to a lack of understanding and being unseen, and it has been hidden. Moreover, you are willing to be a better listener for them, are you not?

One need not concern oneself unduly with the motives of the elderly. An individual who is willing to express their vulnerability in one's presence is likely to be a person who has a strong belief in the other's ability to provide support and understanding. Such an individual may lack emotional resilience and may seek to gain greater emotional support, understanding, acceptance, and responsiveness from the other person. It is therefore unnecessary for the individual in question to doubt their ability to provide the desired response to the elderly person.

An individual's capacity for empathy and emotional responsiveness is not solely determined by chronological age but is also shaped by the manner in which they were treated during their formative years. When an individual is subjected to gentle and nurturing treatment, particularly in emotional and psychological domains, they may perceive that their actions have not been significant, yet they may still have a profound impact on those around them due to the contagious nature of emotions.

This also facilitates more accurate self-perception, as helping others is a means of facilitating one's own growth. It also allows for the positive aspects of one's life to be more fully expressed, and for those in need of guidance to be provided with assistance.

I am Lily, the youngest member of the Q&A Museum. I extend my love to the world and to you.