What should a 28-year-old man do if he is very career-minded and cannot tolerate his wife not working?




Age 28 I am a man with a strong sense of career. When we first got married, my wife and I started a business together selling things on Taobao. We worked hard every day together. After our second child was born last year, I asked her to stay at home and take care of the kids. After making a big profit last year, she no longer works as hard as she used to. All she does is shop, put on makeup, and think about hanging out with friends. This is intolerable to me. It feels like you either need to educate the kids or work hard to make money with me! I can't stand it when she doesn't take care of her responsibilities. Now business is bad, and there's not much savings left. I'm anxious, but she continues to spend money recklessly, as if she doesn't need to worry about how much money is left in the family. And when I see her like this, I get really worried. After all, we have two kids now. If we don't work hard to make money when we're young, how will we be able to give our kids better conditions later?
What kind of family is one without savings? Now whenever I mention it, she gets angry – I'm so tired.
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Comments
I understand your concerns and it's tough when you feel like you're carrying the weight alone. It's important to have an open conversation with her about the future and responsibilities. We need to find a balance where both of us can contribute to the family's wellbeing, whether through earning or managing the household.
It seems like there's a disconnect between what you both expected after having kids. Maybe it's time to sit down and discuss your financial goals and how each of you can play a role in achieving them. Communication is key in any relationship, especially when it comes to finances and family planning.
The stress of supporting a family can be overwhelming, and it's understandable that you want stability for your children. Perhaps suggesting a budget could help control spending and reassure you both about the family's financial health. It might also be beneficial to explore ways she can contribute to the business or find other means to earn income.
Feeling like you're not on the same page is frustrating, but remember, this is a partnership. Try to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. She might not realize the impact of her actions on the family's finances. A calm discussion about your worries and finding a middle ground could ease the tension.
You've put in so much effort into building the business, and it's disheartening to see things change. It's crucial to express your feelings without placing blame. Talk to her about your anxiety and fears for the future. Maybe together you can come up with a plan that involves both of you working towards the family's financial security.