What should I do if I recently feel that no one likes me? Is there something about me that is not good enough?

Lin'er offers the questioner a warm embrace in response to the latter's evident disappointment. It is my hope that this gesture will provide a different perspective.

It is accurate to conclude that the boy you like will pursue another interest first, and when he is unsuccessful, he will return to engage with you. This may lead to feelings of inadequacy and discomfort. However, have you considered this from a different perspective?

This individual is the one you have expressed interest in. His return to the situation indicates that you meet the criteria he has established for a long-term partner. At this juncture, it may be advantageous to accept the opportunity.

While you may not be the first choice, you may be the best match for the position.

Furthermore, you stated that when you accompany your attractive female colleague, other individuals consistently favor her over you, which causes you considerable discomfort. From this, Lin'er can ascertain that a woman who frequently compares herself to other attractive women can also initially determine that you are also attractive.

There is a discrepancy between how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you.

Lin'er suggests that you gain a deeper understanding of your own attributes and adopt an objective perspective. To this end, I have compiled a list of practical methods that I hope will prove beneficial.

1. Please provide the following information on a separate sheet of paper: height, weight, bra size, waist measurement, age, education, job, personality, family background, and other objective conditions. Then, provide a score for yourself. Finally, provide a score for the aforementioned colleague.

Compare your score with that of the female colleague.

2. Read some books on relationships. There are many books on this subject. Lin'er believes that you possess admirable qualities, but lack sufficient knowledge about men. In this case, it is crucial to value the boy who returned to you, whom you perceive to possess commendable attributes. Enhance your ability to interact with boys.

Lin'er's advice is to first expand your choice of spouse, get along with multiple people at the same time, and remain friends rather than becoming boyfriend and girlfriend all at once. Then make a choice. It is also important to note that guys have ratings, which should be scored according to your own standards. In short, you have to be rational enough.

I hope that you have found Lin'er's advice to be helpful. Best regards,

The questioner recently felt that no one likes them. How did you feel before? Did you feel that someone liked you? Or did you not care much about whether others liked you?

"When I have a crush on someone and send out signals," the questioner wants to know, "what kind of signals are they talking about?" Are they just signals that you have a crush on someone, or are they signals that you want to develop a romantic relationship with them?

"I found out that they like other people, so I gave up. It's quite hard on the heart when they can't catch up with other people but still come and provoke me." This sentence clearly indicates that they want to develop an intimate relationship with the other person. When they find out that they like other people, the questioner has no choice but to give up.

And when they come back to chase you, the questioner not only doesn't feel the joy of "regaining something lost," but also feels quite bad. It's a clear sign that "you are not as good as others" and that "you should be easier to chase than others." They come back to chase you when they can't catch up with others.

When I went out with a pretty female colleague, I noticed that the guys were talking to another girl a lot, which made me feel like I didn't exist.

I also found that none of my colleagues liked the things I posted in my circle of friends.

These facts prove the questioner's guess right: I'm not as good as other people.

The original questioner, who was not very confident, suddenly feels questioned about whether or not they are good enough in every way. They want to deny themselves overall.

A person cannot be inadequate in every way. Similarly, a person cannot be good at everything.

In your writing, I see at least one "quality" that many women don't have: you send a "signal" to the person you like and you pursue the one you love, rather than waiting to be "chased" like other girls. It's a positive move, but you're putting yourself in a position to be chosen.

Take back control and define yourself. There are always people who like you, and you like them.

I am certain that my reply has been helpful, and I sincerely hope that it has helped you. Best wishes!

Hello, question asker.

At work, you are a cheerful and lively girl who actively participates in group activities. Your colleagues all know you and feel familiar with you. During these activities, you have met some boys, and their attitude towards you has made you start to feel something. You like their enthusiasm and friendly attitude. When faced with something you like, we will instinctively and politely show a positive attitude and send out signals that match our emotions.

Recent events have eroded your confidence. You thought you were liked and popular, but the successive events have shown you otherwise.

1. Someone who originally liked you, then found someone else they liked, and when they couldn't get that person, they came back to you. This makes you feel like you're replaceable.

2. You went out with a very pretty female colleague and found that the male colleague, who you thought you knew well, was chatting with her a lot. They were joking and playing around with her, and you felt like you were being ignored.

3. You now know for a fact that none of your friends in the circle of friends you posted in the past have ever liked it.

You know your emotions have been fragile recently. You think these things are the reason for your doubts and lack of confidence, but you're wrong. Your doubts and lack of confidence occurred before these events. Because your emotions at the time were inherently fragile, you needed to be affirmed and paid attention to, but you felt that you were not worthy of care and recognition.

In this emotional context, your perspective on things inevitably shifts. Details and words that you would normally overlook suddenly become crucial.

Everything you see is fresh and beautiful when you're in a good mood. Tasting something sour makes you think it's delicious, another happy day. Tasting something sour makes you think it's sour, another afternoon full of dissatisfaction.

You are good enough. You just need to get into the right state of mind.

Regain your confidence and discover your original strengths and advantages. Get back in the swing of things by doing work, taking on new challenges, or aiming for goals that provide specific feedback!

Best of luck!

Good day, landlord. I hope my response is of some assistance to you.

After a thorough review of the host's description, I can confirm that I have experienced these sentiments, challenges, and difficulties. I previously shared similar traits. I also placed significant emphasis on external validation and the opinions of those in my social circle. Despite my pursuit of external approval, I noticed a gradual improvement as I became more self-accepting and self-affirming.

Your last sentence effectively highlights a key issue: a lack of confidence. We tend to believe that we are not good enough in every aspect, which makes us dependent on external affirmation and confidence. We anticipate that others will validate our worth, but this is not always the case. Even when they do, it is not a guarantee of complete approval and recognition. Even our own parents cannot provide this consistently.

As a result, we consistently seek external recognition and approval to enhance our self-confidence, yet frequently encounter setbacks and challenges. This is because external evaluation is inherently unstable.

It is essential to look inward to identify areas for improvement. When we lack something, we tend to seek it externally. However, when we address these gaps internally, we eliminate the need to search for solutions externally.

So, what is the recommended course of action?

I can sense your desire for external validation and your need for self-esteem. These are qualities that you must instill within yourself. To achieve this, you must first learn to appreciate your own worth and then seek the approval of others. Similarly, if you crave the affirmation of others that you matter and have value, you must first affirm your own value.

How might this be achieved?

First and foremost, it is essential to accept oneself in one's entirety, particularly acknowledging the imperfections that may be present.

It is acceptable to acknowledge that I am not proficient in all areas. I accept myself at this level. It is acceptable to recognize that I may not be as physically attractive as others. I accept my true appearance and am comfortable with it. It is okay if I lack confidence. I accept myself in this state.

When you can accept your current self, warts and all, you will find that you have gained the strength to change. However, I am aware that it requires courage to accept your own shortcomings, and this is not a process that can be completed in a short time.

It is therefore advisable to adopt an objective perspective and view yourself as an observer. Accept your strengths and weaknesses as part of your identity and recognise that you are not without flaws. Despite these imperfections, you can still live a fulfilling life and contribute your unique strengths and value.

It is also important to recognize your own strengths and value, and to provide yourself with regular affirmation and encouragement.

When we consistently perceive ourselves as inadequate and lack self-assurance, it is not a reflection of inherent worthlessness. Rather, it stems from an inclination to fixate on our shortcomings while overlooking our strengths and core values.

It is important to recognize and appreciate the strengths and abilities that we possess. We should take the time to acknowledge our efforts and contributions, and provide ourselves with constructive feedback. By doing so, we can gain a deeper understanding of our capabilities and realize that we are already quite capable.

Additionally, it is important to set appropriate goals for yourself on a regular basis, create successful experiences, and gradually enhance your inner strength.

In order to become powerful and confident, it is essential to truly feel our strength in life. Setting appropriate goals for ourselves and achieving these goals through our own efforts to gain a real sense of achievement and happiness is an important way to become confident.

There is a method to setting goals. Attempting to do whatever one wants to do is not a viable approach. It is likely to result in obstacles being encountered on the way to achieving the goal, which will lead to a loss of hard work. Instead, the individual will become increasingly frustrated and lose confidence.

The goals we set for ourselves should be neither too ambitious nor too modest. If they are too ambitious, we may become discouraged and give up, even if we put in the requisite effort. Conversely, if they are too modest, we may feel that the goal is not worth the effort, even if we achieve it.

Therefore, the goals we set for ourselves must be challenging yet achievable, requiring effort but offering tangible results.

As an example, if your current average is 5,000 steps per day, you may set a goal of 5,500 steps per day. However, 1,000 or 10,000 steps per day is not a reasonable goal. Once you have reached a stable level of 5,500 steps per day, you can gradually increase it to 10,000 steps per day. This process is more straightforward and enjoyable than setting a goal of 10,000 steps immediately. Additionally, it is easier to adhere to this goal until completion. If you set a goal of 10,000 steps immediately, you may become discouraged at the outset and find it challenging to maintain until the end. This is because we tend to feel discouraged at the beginning and find it difficult to achieve such a significant goal.

For instance, you can set attainable objectives for yourself in your professional endeavors, academic pursuits, or athletic activities, aligning them with your current capabilities. Then, you can systematically work towards these incremental goals on a daily basis. Once you have accomplished them, acknowledge your achievements and provide constructive feedback. For example, if you can consistently attain a specific objective for seven consecutive days, you can reward yourself with a well-deserved meal.

When you can experience the sense of achievement and pleasure gained through your own efforts every day in life, and make progress a little bit every day, I believe that you will gradually become more confident in your abilities and more satisfied with your performance. At this time, you will likely become less concerned with external validation from others. However, it is likely that others will also recognize and appreciate your contributions more and more.

In conclusion, I would like to leave you with the following quote: when you start to love yourself, the whole world will come to love you.

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival! I've got your back, and I'm here to help you leave your worries behind. I'm sending you all the good wishes in the world!

It's totally normal to feel a bit down when you're not getting as much attention from the opposite sex as other girls are. It's natural to start wondering if there's something about you that's not quite right.

Let's give each other a big hug and take a look at what's troubling you.

?1. Stay aware and change what has already happened.

I just want to say, first of all, that I think you're amazing for being able to look for the reasons within yourself when things happen, and not complain. It's a reflection of your energy, and it's so admirable!

It's so great that you've been taking part in lots of different activities recently! It's just a shame you feel like you're not being noticed or pursued by others, even though you've been so open about your feelings.

It's totally normal to feel like you're not as "noticeable and outstanding" as the girl around you. We all have our own unique qualities and strengths, and it's okay if you don't immediately attract the attention and favor of the opposite sex.

It's totally normal to feel unconfident and even inferior sometimes. We all have those days! But when you feel this way, it can also be a sign that you lack confidence, self-doubt, and self-negation. It's like you're telling yourself, "I am unpopular/unliked/unworthy."

You are worthy just as you are! Your value isn't determined by others, it comes from your own heart.

It's like the butterfly and the bee: they each have their own special place in the world and their own unique value.

The butterfly is a beautiful creature that brings joy to our hearts. It may even be studied and preserved as a specimen because of its beauty.

We can't forget the hard work of the bees, and we're so grateful for the fruits of their labor! We love to give them our praise.

You are just as special as anyone else. You might not have the same kind of charm that attracts the opposite sex right away, but you have your own wonderful qualities that are just as unique and wonderful!

Some people say a woman is like a book, and only those who understand her will read it. So, don't be anxious, dear. Just be calm, beautiful, and be yourself.

?2. It's okay to focus on the outside, but it's also great to focus on the inside!

It's so important to please others! We all want to be noticed and appreciated, and it's a great feeling when we do.

Of course, things like beauty, figure, power, status, and material things like cars and handbags can make us feel really good about ourselves, but they don't last forever.

It's so sad when you lose this support. Many girls feel disheartened and worthless after being dumped by a boyfriend.

It's so important to remember that when we seek external validation, we might end up feeling inadequate and lacking in self-confidence. This can lead to a lot of pain and frustration. But here's the good news: by nurturing ourselves internally, we can learn to love and accept ourselves just as we are. This is the best way to become our own strongest support and to constantly improve and perfect ourselves.

One day, if someone likes you, it's not because of your appearance, your temperament, your talent, or anything else. It's just because you are you!

And there's more! You can also improve your learning ability, shape your image, and cultivate your character. When flowers bloom, butterflies come!

I'm a heart exploration coach. I'm here to help you let go and embrace the world with love. I'd love to continue the conversation. Just click "heart exploration."

Good day, Dear Questioner,

I have carefully reviewed your inquiry and comprehend the confusion it presents.

I would be delighted to discuss your concerns and offer you a different perspective, with the aim of providing you with some comfort and inspiration.

1. Do not doubt yourself easily.

When a normal relationship is initiated with some of the male colleagues at work, they tend to pursue it subsequently.

Such behavior is understandably disconcerting.

It appears that they pursue themselves because they are unable to pursue others.

It is also possible that the boys themselves are uncertain about the type of girl they want to pursue.

It is also possible that the boys themselves are uncertain about the type of girl you are interested in pursuing.

A friendship is typically formed between two individuals who have compatible personalities and interests. When there is a perfect alignment between the two parties, it becomes easier for them to express their feelings and take action.

This also applies to the number of likes on Facebook.

It is possible to ascertain which content is more likely to be liked by others, thus avoiding the pitfall of self-reproach.

2. Identify an appropriate mode of interaction that is comfortable for you.

You stated, "I went out with another female colleague who is very attractive. I assumed everyone would be familiar with me, but I suddenly observed that the gentlemen were engaged in lengthy conversations with another woman, engaging in lighthearted banter and playful interactions, which made me feel as though I was not a prominent figure in the situation." We can also examine this from a few additional viewpoints.

For example, has that female colleague been acquainted with the other colleagues for a longer period of time?

In your estimation, who is the more lively and cheerful of the two?

Have you ever solicited feedback from colleagues regarding your performance?

Feeling that you have no sense of existence is partly a subjective experience that can be influenced by factors such as personality and the level of familiarity with others. It is important to note that these feelings do not necessarily reflect an objective assessment of one's worth.

There can be a significant discrepancy between an individual's self-perception and how they are perceived by others.

For instance, you may believe that you are well-known to your colleagues, but the extent of your familiarity with them may vary.

If you are very reserved, others may be hesitant to engage in lighthearted banter with you.

3. Make positive adjustments and like yourself first.

It is not uncommon for individuals to experience moments of self-doubt.

There is often a discrepancy between our expectations and the reality of a situation.

While this may not be a personal issue, if one is seeking to enhance their own comfort level, they may wish to consider implementing some positive adjustments.

As an example, it would be beneficial to cultivate a more confident demeanor and embrace the notion that you are a distinctive individual.

If I believe that others do not like me, am I able to like myself?

The most important thing is to develop a positive self-image.

We have confidence in our ability to inspire positive regard and affection from others.

This is of the utmost importance.

There is no need to emulate other individuals, such as our attractive female colleagues. We should simply be true to ourselves.

Furthermore, communication with colleagues can facilitate the identification of potential areas for improvement or adjustment.

By gaining an objective view of ourselves through the eyes of others, we can enhance our interpersonal relationships.

Please feel free to share these ideas.

If you are interested, you may wish to read The Power of Self-Growth.

Best regards,

Hello.

From your description, it's clear you're sad and feel left out.

The questioner is observant and emotionally delicate, which allows them to detect a sense of being treated differently in social interactions with the people they are participating in activities with together. This makes you feel uncomfortable.

Your awareness is great. It seems clear to me that the other person is lacking in sincerity. If you get involved further, it will be worrying.

1. Self-confidence

The questioner is looking for acceptance and approval from everyone. "I'm not good enough anywhere"... There is a situation where self-deprecation is getting worse and worse.

The questioner mentioned a topic related to self-confidence. Self-confidence is an understanding of one's own character and a sense of propriety. When you get along with people, there is a sense of distance, but that doesn't mean you are bad. It is a kind of re-observation of oneself, a kind of test, which helps you understand and accept yourself more.

Don't cater to other people's expectations. Do what you like. This liberates you from the inner knots and reduces the impact of chaotic thoughts on your state of mind. It improves self-confidence.

2. When expectations are not met, embrace yourself, and do it quietly.

It's clear that people in your circle of friends don't like your posts. This shows that you are feeling depressed inside.

You want to share your life and let others feel your beauty.

But there's no guarantee that others will pay attention to what you post or understand how serious you are.

Everyone has a different experience, and what they see is open to interpretation.

Sometimes there may be misunderstandings, which will undoubtedly affect the mood of the questioner.

When we don't receive likes, we must remember to guard our inner purity ourselves.

The examples mentioned by the questioner mainly revolve around socializing. Let's take a step back and see. I want to know if you like socializing.

If everyone around you likes to socialize, you don't have to like to socialize.

If public opinion says that people who are good at socializing are more likely to succeed, we must ask ourselves: when we get involved, will we drift with the crowd and lose the ability to think independently?

Asking questions is a great way to gain insight into yourself.

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival!