What should I do when faced with a husband who doesn't know how to cherish and respect me?

In my second marriage, my husband and I are 20 years apart in age. We each had children before marriage, and we had another son after marriage. It has been more than ten years since we got married.

I have experienced a lot in the process. I have always held myself to the standards of a good wife and mother, serving my elderly in-laws, helping him prepare for his eldest son's wedding, and helping him take care of his grandson (who is two years older than my son). Later, his eldest son got divorced, and his grandson went to an international school near Shanghai, so I took care of him during the holidays. However, the conflicts became too great, and I realized that I could not over-commit myself, so I let go of the responsibilities that I should not have taken on.

Due to the pandemic, I have had almost no income in recent years. I decided to sell the property in my name (pre-marital property) to get by. He previously borrowed high-interest loans to invest in property in his name (post-marital joint property, which is his pre-marital property by default), despite my strong opposition. I plan to help him pay off this loan after selling the house. But a trivial matter last night cooled my heart. He said he bought himself a new pair of pants, and I jokingly said that I didn't think of buying one for my wife. He meant that no one bought it for him, so he bought it himself. As for me, I should buy it with my own money. I said that I haven't had any income for so long, where would I get the money from? He meant that I have secret money that I can use.