What should you do if you feel uncomfortable being with a friend?

Hello, dear friend! I'm Sister Yuanyuan.

I just read a very touching sentence that I think answers your question. It says, "I love you not because of how you look, but because of how I look when I love you." Isn't that a great way to put it? It made me think about all relationships, including the friendship you mentioned.

How should I face it? I think a good relationship should be like this: I am willing to be with you because when I am with you, I am myself and I feel comfortable.

I'm not sure I see the beauty that this friendship has brought you, only the many confusions and annoyances it has brought you. I'm not sure I understand why you say she is your very good friend. Is it because you feel that she has placed you in an important position in her heart, and you are "her very good friend," so you think you are very good friends?

I'm sure there's more to the story than what you've shared in your text. Maybe you had lots of good times, but you didn't mention them in your writing. If so, I'm sure those good times would make it easier to handle the confusion.

You know best, my friend. Only you can answer this question. And the answer is in your heart.

Hello!

It's good to have a friend you can count on.

You say she's your good friend and you're important to her. But how do you feel about her?

Is she important to you?

Your emotional account

Your writing shows you've spent a lot of time describing conflicts and how unpleasant it is to get along.

Psychologist Willard Harley said that in a relationship, especially an intimate one, the relationship is like a bank account.

When your relationship and personal states are good, you will give each other love and support.

If your relationship and personal states are poor, you will demand things from the other person. If you can't get what you want, you will argue. This is like withdrawing money from your account. You will use up the nutrients you have already put in through criticism, blame, misunderstanding, neglect, and quarrels.

Your emotional account is like a bank account. If you want to manage it well, you need to put more love into it. If you don't want to go bankrupt, you need to handle your needs better and reduce conflicts. You can't let the account remain in debt. Otherwise, your relationship will be broken.

Your current state is like spending more and saving less. Recall some beautiful moments you've spent together and do things that will make both of you happy.

How do you handle conflicts in a relationship?

Our relationships reflect who we are.

We form relationships to meet our inner needs. Conflicts arise when we don't understand each other's needs.

Dealing with relationship issues is about meeting needs.

Your partner wants to talk to you every day, which shows they need to confide and share. They also want to play games with you, which shows they crave companionship and intimacy. You need your partner to understand your thoughts, and you've tried to communicate and explain, but it's not going well.

Read and study "Nonviolent Communication." Right communication gets twice the result with half the effort and is good for all kinds of relationships.

If you can't meet your partner's needs without damaging the relationship, a good lie is a reasonable way to handle it. The most important thing is to meet your needs and your partner's needs in a reasonable way to keep the relationship strong.

I'm a big brain hole. Thanks for reading!

Hello, I'm Gu Yi! I'm modest and self-effacing, just like Gu Yi always is.

Our love needs to be expressed in the right way — and we can do it!

It's amazing how different perceptions lead to different behaviors!

Everyone has love in their hearts and wants to express their love through their own actions. Just like the friend you described, in her world, she pours everything she has into expressing her love for her best friend, who she thinks is very important. She tries to surprise you and give you expensive gifts. What I see is that she is showing you her affection, and it's beautiful!

Then, for ourselves, we may feel that this friendly approach is suffocating, and that expensive gifts are something we cannot reciprocate. This puts a lot of pressure on us, and while you have communicated with each other, the results have not been significant. You have broken off your friendship, but in the end, it still leads to this bad outcome. At this moment, you are confused and don't know how to accept and communicate. But don't worry! There's still time to turn this around.

At this time, we should give ourselves some direction. We accept our friend's heart, and guide and understand their actions.

Good friends are attracted to each other and seek common ground while reserving differences. It is a rare friendship, but any relationship that wants to last needs mutual progress and change—and it's so worth it!

Let's dive in and discover how to make this relationship last longer!

❀Put yourself in his shoes. Everyone has a different way of life, which forms their own patterns of behavior and thinking. So in your friend's world view, only that kind of expression can make you feel cared for and important. So he desperately uses his abilities to express himself, hoping that you can feel his heart. But often this kind of over-efforting behavior makes you confused.

So in this situation, as a friend and as the one who is valued, it is normal to have your own emotions. This is great because it means we can discuss, communicate, and change with our friends. This helps us find a mode of getting along with each other that suits us both. Change will eventually happen, and change itself is painful. But it's also exciting because it means we're growing and changing!

We can go with friends to see more people and things! For the mind to open up and for there to be a better understanding of human nature, we can learn to change. Everyone's own thinking will open up after they have experienced it, and their own behavior patterns will then be truly adjusted. So I really hope you can provide more guidance, more care, more discoveries of beauty, and more love and patience to your friends!

Wishing you the best! I hope you have an amazing day with your friends!

I am grateful for your inquiry and will do my best to provide a thoughtful response.

From your description of the problem, it is evident that you are experiencing distress. You have invested significant time and emotional energy into this relationship and have derived some benefit from it, yet you are simultaneously reluctant to terminate the relationship. You are once again seeking guidance on how to navigate this challenging situation.

Firstly, I am able to ascertain with certainty your feelings regarding this relationship. As you have stated, you experience a profound sense of distress.

However, the reason for this is unclear. Indeed, the current socialization process is not designed to alter a person into a more suitable match for oneself, but rather to select a suitable partner.

It is not possible to alter this situation through one's own actions; it is only through personal change that genuine transformation can occur. Modifying another person is an internal process, and genuine change can only happen when one makes changes to oneself.

It is therefore evident that feelings are of paramount importance. It would be beneficial to ascertain how one feels when in the presence of the individual in question. If one experiences positive emotions, it is likely that the number of issues and descriptions would be fewer.

There must be an underlying issue in the relationship that is causing this negative emotional state. If this is the case, then the relationship is having a detrimental effect on the individual.

As previously stated, attempting to alter one's partner's behavior through direct action is an ineffective method for improving the quality of the relationship. The most optimal approach is to gradually disengage from the relationship.

It would be advisable to terminate contact with him before he develops into an individual who can provide you with a sense of comfort.

Until such time as the individual in question demonstrates an ability to form genuine, mutually beneficial relationships with others, it would be prudent to refrain from further investment in the current relationship. Once this capacity has been developed, the possibility of a new relationship may be considered.

The second point that was just mentioned is that individuals change themselves, not through the influence of others.

It is therefore inadvisable to attempt to alter his behaviour through efforts to improve the quality of your relationship. There is a possibility that you will become exhausted before he exhibits any positive change, which will have a detrimental impact on your personal, professional and academic lives.

Thus, if one experiences negative sentiments regarding their relationship with the individual in question, it will have an adverse effect on their well-being. It is imperative that we prioritize our own self-care and well-being.

Subsequently, it is imperative to disengage from the situation in a definitive manner. This entails refusing the individual in question, albeit in a gentle yet assertive manner.

Gradually, you will begin to disengage from this relationship. You may find it helpful to take a piece of paper and write down the advantages and disadvantages of continuing the friendship.

Conversely, what are the advantages of terminating the relationship? By weighing the two options, one can determine whether to continue the relationship or terminate it.

Thirdly, a friend who genuinely cares about you will not cause you to feel negatively about yourself. Furthermore, it is important to consider the needs of your friends.

It is possible that the individual in question may be experiencing feelings of loneliness and a lack of social connections, which may manifest as a tendency to shower the subject with expensive gifts and engage in persistent, though well-meaning, forms of attention. This behavior may be driven by a desire for social interaction and the affirmation that comes with it.

Such behavior may be perceived as ingratiating, which is a potential issue for the individual in question.

It is therefore important to understand this behaviour and to consider why your friend behaves in this way. Such behaviour may cause feelings of discomfort and resentment. It may be that he lacks love and craves it, and therefore attempts to gain love through external means. However, he lacks the ability to maintain a relationship, and therefore makes some inappropriate external gestures to Wu Zhiqiang in order to maintain the relationship.

It is therefore possible that he is also experiencing loneliness and distress, and may be carrying a number of unspoken wounds and pain, which he may seek to share with another individual. It is therefore important to gain an understanding of this, which may lead to a greater level of understanding and forgiveness for your friend.

From your description, it can be inferred that he is likely to exhibit behaviors such as pestering you or seeking increased connection with you. This may also reflect the loneliness of your friend. He has no other friends, and his social circle is limited. When he experiences loneliness, he may seek connection with you.

This is also my hypothesis. Therefore, you may recommend your friend to the Yi Xin Li platform, allow him to make friends on the platform, consult with a counselor about his inner confusion, and facilitate his maturation. This may prove to be a more responsible or beneficial course of action for your friend.

This concludes my remarks for the present. I have offered my thoughts and suggestions for your consideration.

It is my sincere hope that these suggestions will prove beneficial. I extend my best wishes to you and your friend.

It is possible that your friend does not express love, yet you can both grow and maintain a friendship while simultaneously maintaining a good friendship in a more comfortable state.

Alternatively, they may express their love in a manner that is not readily acceptable. It is acknowledged that the world and I love you.

Hi, I'm Du Xi.

You still care about her, but spending time with her makes you feel stressed. She doesn't understand you and has violated your personal boundaries.

Everyone does things, and she has good intentions.

She gives you gifts to make you happy and show you she cares.

2. She wants you to play with her and keep her company. You're very important to her.

I'm not saying she's perfect. I just want you to see her positive intentions. This must also be causing you problems.

The gift is too heavy. You feel pressure and your pride makes you feel you can't return the favor, which is embarrassing.

You come from different family backgrounds and have different views. This does not mean she doesn't respect you. There are differences in your perceptions, values, and views on money. She can't make you change your values, and you can't change hers. You can understand her way of thinking and keep your own views.

[Understanding doesn't mean agreeing.]

She has influenced your private life. You need to set your own boundaries and be clear with her about them. When you talk to her, don't express your emotions. Explain your needs instead of saying she's done something wrong. People instinctively protect themselves, so if she feels you're saying she's wrong, she'll argue.

You haven't achieved your goal.

From what you've said, I don't know how close you are to her. Do you show her enough affection? Does this friendship make her feel secure? It also affects her behavior and how she sees you.

If you value this friendship, show it.

If you don't want a deep friendship, you can maintain a distance without hurting her and communicate well.

It's clear that the other person doesn't fully understand you. They can't do things according to some of your ideas, so things that are not fully understood will happen, which will make you feel a lot of discomfort. If the other person constantly gives you a lot of problems, you will doubt the necessity of this relationship.

She makes you uncomfortable, and this will make people want to stay away from her. Nobody wants to stay with someone who makes them feel uncomfortable. Maybe she thinks you're important, but her actions and words still need to be adjusted. She needs to become more mature in order to stabilize the relationship.

It is not necessary to give expensive gifts, have surprises without discussing them in advance, argue about things that require mutual understanding, or be spoken to in a way that is hurtful. While it is not necessary to do everything exactly as she thinks, there still needs to be some mutual tolerance.

If the other person wants to invite me to play games together, they may also have to withstand the rejection because it is this matter that is being rejected, not the person as a whole. There's no need to make the relationship more confusing with sarcastic comments. She'll understand eventually.

You still need to convey it by writing a note. If you don't understand, there's no need to forcefully try to understand this relationship. You are tired too. You are not her spiritual mentor. There's no need to keep comforting the immature teenager at this time. Talk about it with someone and decide what else you want to say to this friend. Come on.

ZQ?