Why do I both love and detest everything about this person?

From your description of these words, I can see that you fell in love with him at first sight! This shows that you still like him very much. Then, you saw all kinds of signs and reactions from him that you hated. This is a detail. It means that he himself, in the case of your love at first sight, really likes you. But the fact is that what you see is the opposite. This is normal. At the same time, you really want to see him again. This shows that he still occupies a very large part of your heart. You like him! He still occupies a very large part of your heart.

You said that when you met him, he gave you a hug, and you were really happy that he had a girlfriend. This shows that you like him a little, which is great! But then you feel that it's impossible, that you can't like him, that you hate him. If he asks you to be his girlfriend, you like it a lot, but you don't want to, which shows that you still kind of resist this idea of his. In fact, this so-called love and hate, love and hate, how much love there is, there is as much hate, how much hate there is, there is as much love—it's all part of the journey!

Having said that, I'm excited to hear more from you! I feel that there is hatred in love and love in hatred, so I'd love to get more details from you and slowly analyze them. Then, in the future, as we get to know each other better, build trust with each other, and communicate more, we'll be able to truly know whether we can entrust our bodies to each other!

I'm a school mental health education teacher who has spent many years dealing with emotional cases. I'm excited to make new friends and spend time with you!

The subject is currently experiencing intense internal conflict, primarily due to the presence of an "ideal boyfriend" in her mind. This idealized boyfriend is perceived to possess specific physical attributes, vocal qualities, occupational characteristics, and other defining characteristics. In reality, however, the subject has encountered this individual in her life, and apart from the initial experience of love at first sight, none of the aforementioned conditions have been met. Following a period of four months of communication, the subject has developed a sense of familiarity with this individual, which is sufficient to elicit feelings of affection. The subject consistently seeks topics of conversation with this individual. This behavior can be understood as a reaction to underlying inner needs. The subject displays a proclivity for confiding in others. In a romantic relationship, she prefers spiritual interaction and is easily attached to others during communication, thereby gaining a sense of security. This individual has been identified as a source of satisfaction in this regard. The subject desires to see him. If he expresses a desire for a romantic relationship, she will experience a high level of excitement and happiness. This indicates a strong desire for acceptance and an intimate relationship, as well as a need to be recognized in this relationship. Furthermore, if this individual is already in a relationship, the subject will experience feelings of jealousy.

The fact that the two individuals have been engaged in a four-month-long conversation indicates that a certain degree of emotional investment has already been made. This investment has potentially become a routine aspect of their interactions. Consequently, it is understandable that the decision to terminate the relationship may be challenging for either party. Despite the lack of formal designation of the relationship as a dating arrangement, the emotional involvement that has already been established may make it difficult for either party to move on.

Hello, landlord!

After reading the original poster's description, I totally get where they're coming from! There's often a big difference between how we imagine someone and how they really are, and it can be a bit of a shock when we realise.

It's only natural that when we first meet someone, we show them our best side.

So, when the host first met him, he gave you a great impression!

But we all have our little quirks and flaws, don't we? As you get to know someone better, these little things will gradually come to light.

It's not really a disadvantage, but more about the habits of the other person. It's all about accepting each other for who we are!

It all depends on whether they're willing to accept each other for who they are.

From appearance to values, inner world, and all the habits formed in life.

For example, some girls like their boyfriends to be tall and manly, and they find everything about them attractive.

As the saying goes, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

But others don't care for his appearance. They think he's too tall, too fat, greasy, and has a bad temper.

So it all depends on how you feel, sweetheart.

And the host felt really great at first. That's because the host had created the perfect partner in their mind.

But after many videos, it just doesn't feel the same. There's a gap between what's real and what we imagine.

The original poster wants to chat with the person they have imagined, but the actual person is not what they imagined.

Sometimes, we only see the surface and it can be really tough to fully understand someone, let alone another person.

It can be really tough to understand ourselves, can't it?

If there's something about the other person you don't like, it's possible you have the same problem yourself.

I really hope the poster will take a moment to ask their heart: "I like this kind of person, but the person he is now is not what I imagined."

I know it can be tough, but can you accept the way he looks in reality? If you think he is still acceptable in reality,

Then, why not try to stay in touch, get to know the person better, and discover more of the things you like about them?

If you really can't stand his habits, then it might be best to try to slowly distance yourself from the relationship.

It's so important to remember that you don't have to wait until you're too deeply involved, entangled, hurting each other, and covered in scars that you can't extricate yourself from.

And there's mutual honesty, appreciation, tolerance, and entering each other's inner world. Otherwise, it's just superficial communication, and we don't want that!

This mode of getting along is not just for lovers, but for any relationship!

I just want to wish the original poster a happy life!

I'm Warm June, and I just want to say that I love you, the world, and you!

Hello, host!

After reading your description, I have to say that he's got some great qualities. He might not be your ideal partner, but he's still got a lot to offer.

1. You often think of him, and at the same time, you're excited to see what else is out there!

2. You want him to confess his love to you! But you know you'll reject him.

3. You're excited to meet him, but you're also a little nervous because you think you might not like him as much as you thought.

I think you just really long for the feeling of companionship, warmth, romance, and being needed and valued in love! It's not that you actually want to fall in love with this person across from you, but you long for those feelings.

As the saying goes, "We are just standing by the river, feeling sorry for ourselves, but thinking we are in love with someone else."

Perhaps he once gave you the illusion and sweetness of love, the romance and beauty of love at first sight, and the other person may also possess certain qualities that you admire very much. This means you have the chance to create an "idealized" romantic partner in your heart! On the one hand, you long for the feeling of being "valued, seen, and needed" in love. On the other hand, you clearly know that the other person is not the one you want, so you have this conflicting emotion of "needing and hating" at the same time. This just means you have the chance to find the perfect person for you!

In this way, we separate "like" and "dislike" from him. We like the sweetness, beauty, warmth, and companionship of love, and although he more or less fulfills these needs, he is not the person you want—but that means there's room for someone even better!

In other words, if a more suitable person appears one day, you may make a different choice—and it could be a great one!

I think it would be a great idea for you two to try spending some time as ordinary friends first. That way, you can strip away the elements and imagination of love, and you'll probably have a clearer answer in no time!

I'm so excited to share this with you! I really hope it helps.

Hello!

I'm a heart exploration coach. Learning is the body's treasure.

From your description, I can tell you have doubts, confusion, and feel helpless.

You like someone very much but also hate the trouble they bring. I'll try to help you understand why.

First, think about why you like him.

You love him at first sight.

You also said this in your description. The first time you videoed with him, he might have just looked like your "idealized lover," so you really liked him.

You want to see him, but you're afraid you won't like him. Perhaps you think he's different from your ideal.

You like him and are still hoping that kind of love at first sight will happen again. This may also be the reason why you said that if he gets a girlfriend, you will be jealous.

You might also like him because you want to live out the "bad" things about him.

Your parents may have taught you that you can't do certain things, like the way he speaks or the content of his work. You may want to try these things, so you like him and are attracted by the fact that he "can live like this." This is like many introverts who like extroverts. You yearn for it because you see a sense of "complementarity."

You like him because you can be yourself with him.

You felt you hated him and would not be with him, so you didn't care what he thought. You can live authentically and he can accept you. This makes you relaxed and comfortable, so you miss him.

You think of him when you have difficulty crying. You probably miss his attention and acceptance.

Second, reasons why you dislike him.

You may hate him because you project your unacceptable traits onto him.

You hate him for making that kind of noise when you eat.

You may also hate him because of things about him that you don't like and that are similar to someone close to you, like your father.

You hate your father, so you project that onto him.

But deep down, you may want to change him. You hope he'll change the things you don't like and keep the things you do. This may be one reason why you miss him.

To change this situation, first decide what you want in a spouse. Then, see him for who he really is. Ask yourself if you can accept him for who he is.

You'll know what to do after examining the situation.

I hope this helps. Click "Find a coach" at the bottom to communicate further.

Dear Question Asker,

After reading your question, it is evident that you are experiencing a complex emotional state, characterised by a combination of negative and positive feelings towards the individual in question. Your sentiments appear to be ambivalent, oscillating between dislike and a certain degree of affinity. This internal conflict is likely to be a source of considerable confusion. Best regards,

If an individual discloses a preference for a particular trait or aspect of another person's identity, such as their speech patterns, profession, or even their eating habits, despite harboring positive feelings towards that person, it is likely that few would be convinced of the sincerity of this assertion. This discrepancy raises an intriguing question: Why is there such a discrepancy between the individual's feelings and their ability to articulate them?

It is difficult to comprehend when one considers the matter in question.

I have reviewed your final communication. Please do not hesitate to contact me should you require further details. I am prepared to provide additional clarification if necessary. From your message, I can discern your sincerity and enthusiasm in addressing this matter. I extend my sincerest regards to you.

Despite the passage of four months, the situation remains unchanged, a development that is cause for concern. This is yet another factor that is consuming Hao Shen's time. Should this persist, it is likely to give rise to internal mental conflict and have an adverse impact on his future prospects. It is, therefore, imperative to resolve this matter expeditiously.

In this section, I will present my personal views on the subject.

Firstly, it is possible that your various emotional states may be related to the nature of your virtual relationship. It is important to note that you have not yet met in person. We have a significant amount of time in our lives to spend on the Internet. There are certain topics that are challenging to discuss with friends in person, and this can also be the case on the Internet. You have the ability to communicate with him at any time. Therefore, it is plausible that your attachment may be related to your online interactions. You enjoy the ease of communication and the possibility of a fleeting connection, which may be perceived as more attractive than a deeper, more committed relationship.

Secondly, after four months of daily contact through messaging, a routine should have been established. A considerable amount of information should have been exchanged, which may have resulted in the revelation of one's true self. This also implies that a substantial amount of energy has been invested. In psychology, the sunk cost effect suggests that once an investment has been made, it may be challenging to disengage, as the previous efforts would be wasted. This may be a subconscious factor influencing the decision-making process.

Additionally, you have stated that upon initially meeting him via video, you experienced an immediate and profound romantic attraction. This phenomenon, colloquially termed "love at first sight," has been demonstrated to leave a profound and enduring impression on the human heart. The image of him that you held in high regard at that time has remained a prominent aspect of your emotional landscape for an extended period. Despite your subsequent realization that he possesses certain shortcomings and imperfections, the initial experience of romantic infatuation has not dissipated. Moreover, he possesses certain personal attributes that could potentially provide you with emotional support and solace. For instance, when you are in physical or emotional distress, you may naturally turn to him for comfort and guidance. This suggests that your initial perception of him as a source of strength and support may not have been entirely accurate. However, it is important to acknowledge that he also possesses qualities that you may not find entirely appealing. Nevertheless, it is crucial to recognize that he also possesses certain positive attributes that you find attractive.

It is important to note that this is a typical dynamic in relationships between men and women. There will be times when one party has positive feelings towards the other and times when those feelings are less favourable. This is not uncommon, even in the context of romantic relationships and even in the period leading up to marriage. It is not uncommon for individuals, regardless of gender, to have doubts about their partner and to identify aspects of their partner that they do not like. This can lead to feelings of uncertainty about the decision to marry. It is, therefore, understandable that one might experience a range of contradictory emotions. However, regardless of the emotional state one is in, it is important to move forward. If necessary, it might be helpful to meet in person to discuss the relationship. If not, it is possible to make a decision about the future of the relationship.

In short, it is unproductive to be so anxious. Things need to move forward. It would be beneficial to take a step forward and observe whether it is the kind that will die in the light.

It is my conviction that you are fully capable of extricating yourself from this quandary in accordance with your desires. Should you have any further inquiries or wish to discuss further, you are encouraged to do so at your convenience. I extend my sincerest regards to you and the world at large.

Good day, Dear Poster,

I am grateful for the opportunity to share this topic with you and to gain insight into your emotional state. For the time being, you may experience a sense of uncertainty as if you were being influenced by someone else.

It is my hope that the respondent's sharing will provide you with some new inspiration.

The answerer has viewed several clips, which have proven to be quite helpful in clarifying the confusion you have expressed. These clips have been meticulously organized for your reference.

1. I have only viewed the video a maximum of 10 times. I do, however, still have a strong affinity for him. Conversely, I find his voice, speaking style, work, lifestyle and even the sound of him eating unappealing.

I am particularly repulsed when he complains or cries to me.

However, when I experience difficulties and feel the need to express my emotions, I find myself thinking of him. I am unsure why this is, and I am questioning why I miss him and what I want from him.

}

It is widely acknowledged that humans are emotional creatures, and that a person's sense of happiness stems from their relationships with others. Consequently, effective communication is a fundamental aspect of any relationship.

It is important to note that humans also possess innate emotions such as loneliness, isolation, and insecurity.

Therefore, we are social animals. This also explains why there is a discrepancy between your perception of each other's communication habits and your continued contact with one another.

After ten encounters, a physical attachment is formed.

The term "empathy" in psychology refers to the unconscious replication of relationship patterns from childhood interactions with significant figures in adulthood. This phenomenon is partially beyond conscious control due to its origin in subconscious memories.

2. I am eager to speak with him and to meet him in person.

Furthermore, I am concerned that my initial impression of him may not be positive upon our first meeting.

There were numerous aspects of the individual in question that I did not care for.

While the other party may not offer a high level of emotional value, they do provide the benefit of companionship.

After four months of daily communication, the relationship was characterized by a sense of mutual support and warmth.

However, such reliance cannot be implemented in real life. In comparison to the love and hate between people in broad daylight, even if there is no indication of care, it is always a genuine emotion, which makes people feel that emotional stability is an objective and beautiful quality.

In contrast, online relationships are not the same as real-life interpersonal relationships. They are more akin to virtual relationships that exist in the flow of data. Online relationships often do not allow us to express ourselves naturally, to see the real strengths and weaknesses of each other, or to see our inner needs, inner children, and even inner wounds and hopes.

Therefore, the importance of meeting in person becomes evident.

In the current digital age, communication between partners often lacks the depth and substance of face-to-face interactions. It can feel like a series of disconnected bubbles, lacking the tangible reality of in-person connections. This lack of substance can create a sense of emptiness after contact ends.

3. I was initially impressed by his appearance in the first video, but I soon realized that his physical attributes were not as impressive in person as they had seemed in the video, which had been filmed under favorable lighting. Additionally, his personality did not align with my expectations.

This situation is akin to that experienced by a fan seeing their idol living in the "real world." The sudden lack of filter can lead to feelings of disappointment. However, the residual "feel-good hormones" from the previous four months can cause a temporary disconnect between emotional and rational responses, creating a time error.

The respondent offers the following advice:

It would be beneficial to resume real-life interactions while incorporating a practical observation component.

Discuss with your partner topics relevant to your lives, such as future plans and family experiences. You may also wish to explore your views on life and deepen your understanding of each other's values.

2. Consider the two of you as ordinary colleagues, neither superior nor inferior.

It is beneficial to maintain a positive and supportive relationship with your partner. Should this not be the case, it is important to maintain a positive outlook and believe that you will eventually meet someone more suitable for you.

3. Allow for the discrepancy between the emotional and rational decision-making processes in the brain.

In theory, one should not dwell on this issue, but in practice, it remains a concern. This question is valid, but there is no need to fixate on it. As long as one maintains an open and receptive mindset, these feelings will dissipate over time.

Specifically, the time frame for this shift depends on whether there are other significant developments in your life.

For example, an increase in remuneration or a promotion, or even passing the civil service exam and securing employment in the civil service.

.

Therefore, as long as there are more opportunities for positive experiences in one's life, this inclination will naturally diminish.

It is important to remember that a person's energy is still quite limited. Apart from the basic functions of eating, drinking, and going to the bathroom every day, there is not much time available for personal activities.

Best regards, The World We appreciate your support.

Good day, I can see the confusion you are facing right now, and I extend my support to you.

You are currently experiencing some relationship issues. I will provide you with a supportive gesture to demonstrate my understanding and offer further assistance if needed.

It is within the realm of possibility that your current situation may be the result of transference, a psychological phenomenon.

Please allow me to define the term "transference."

In essence, transference is a process whereby one projects emotions previously experienced with specific individuals onto a current situation or entity.

The above definition is sourced from Zhihu.

It is possible that the boy you currently have a romantic interest in evokes memories of a previous romantic interest.

It is possible that the boy you like now has given you a negative experience in a previous relationship.

It seems that you associate the boy you like now with the boy who hurt you in the past.

If this is the case, I recommend seeking professional psychological counseling.

A counselor from a third-party perspective can provide advice that is more pertinent, useful, and constructive without a critical eye or an objective attitude.

If you are unsure of the number of sessions required for your current psychological issue, we recommend seeking assistance from an instant listener on this platform.

If necessary, the instant listening therapist will also refer you to a professional counselor.

The platform is currently offering a 525 promotional deal, representing excellent value for money. The offer includes 50 yuan cash coupons for 12 consultations and 100 yuan cash coupons for 20 consultations.

I hope that the issue you are currently experiencing can be resolved as soon as possible.

At this time, I am only able to offer the aforementioned suggestions.

I hope my above responses are helpful and inspiring to you. I am available to answer any further questions you may have.

At Yixinli, we extend our best wishes to you and the world.

Love can elicit a range of contradictory and negative emotions. Most relationships experience some degree of turbulence. This may contribute to individuals' reluctance to pursue romantic relationships after experiencing a painful failed relationship. You currently hold positive and negative sentiments towards this person simultaneously.

It is possible that this is the reality following the disillusionment of the halo effect. The previously filtered view has gradually broken down, and you are aware of significant changes. You can also see the impact that the other person has had on you, and you previously felt a strong connection to him.

At that time, you had limited exposure to him, having only met or spoken with him on a few occasions. As your contact increased, you began to observe his more ordinary characteristics, rather than the idealised version you initially perceived. His actions and behaviours, particularly his tendency to complain or become emotional, appeared somewhat mundane.

These complaints will negatively impact his reputation in your eyes. You may expect the other person to have superior character and qualities. Now, however, you will judge that the other person is not as strong and does not make you feel very comfortable on many levels.

You desire the other person to express their love for you, yet you are reluctant to do so because you feel the need to be liked, despite having reservations about this person. It is possible that reality is more complex than this. We are generally willing to accept love, care, and protection, but there are instances when we are simply too exhausted to do so. We may feel that we have reached our limit in terms of giving our love.

Despite daily communication, you remain hesitant. You are uncertain about the relationship and its suitability for you. This may be due to a lack of acceptance of the individual in question or a preference for a different form of connection. Your reluctance to fully engage in the relationship may be influenced by personal traits and past experiences. Counseling can help you gain clarity on your thoughts and feelings about love and identify any underlying issues that may be impeding your progress.

Please advise.

When it comes to relationships, we often find ourselves facing a complex mix of emotions, including both liking and disliking. The person in question may find themselves oscillating between these two extremes, experiencing a certain internal turmoil along the way. This can lead to a sense of discomfort in the heart. I hope that the following sharing can offer some inspiration in navigating this challenge:

First, try to focus on yourself for a moment and see if you feel this way about anyone else.

It seems like "like" and "especially dislike" can't be combined into one complete emotion. This kind of division can also make the holder feel a bit uncomfortable. Just like the various ways of getting along mentioned in the message, your feelings, actions, and reactions towards him all make you feel a little at a loss.

Has anyone else had this problem with integration?

For instance, your love for a celebrity can be really positive or really negative. You might also experience something that makes you feel the same way, or you might feel torn between having an object or not having it.

If we trace these details, we can understand the process better. We can see if this special case triggered such strong turmoil in us, or if we will habitually fall into a certain pattern when dealing with the outside world.

If it's the latter, it can be tough to overcome these issues on your own. You might need to find a professional psychologist to help you work through it.

If it's the former, think about what the events in this "special case" made you think specifically and how these thoughts are connected to your emotions. If it's familiar, it means that certain factors are driven by these familiar scents.

2. Think about what you want from the relationship and what you're willing to give.

The comments show how the questioner and the other person interact, and also illustrate their attitude and emotions towards each other. So, in this kind of relationship, you might want to ask yourself: what do you really want from this relationship—companionship, care, or just this kind of connection, etc.?

Are you getting what you want from these interactions? Can we make these interactions better in the future?

I'd like the questioner to think about what they get from the interaction in this relationship, not what they get from "him."

On top of that, the other side of the relationship is your input. Is this input also what you were hoping for?

How did you feel while you were giving?

This self-tracking will help us better understand what this relationship means to the questioner.

3. Give yourself a way to let go of your emotions so you can relax.

These two extreme emotions can really make you feel pretty uncomfortable. It's easy to want to figure out what's really going on and why you're feeling such complex emotions.

It's interesting how emotions work. The more you try to control them, the more easily they can control you. Give them some space, and they'll grow freely and then subside.

If you can, try to let go of thinking about these emotions for a while. Instead, give them space, feel disgust when it comes, experience liking when it comes, and when both appear at the same time, just observe and pay attention to them without interfering.

As you become more comfortable with this experience, you may also find that your relationship with the other person becomes more relaxed. You may also notice changes in how you give and receive.

And you might also have the chance to feel less distressed about this kind of relationship.

I'm not delving into human nature here, just sharing the story of a therapist who cares about the human heart. I wish you well.

Hello, I'm Hua Er.

Let's quote the original words of the questioner. Let's discuss the crux of the problem in steps. Let's share new ideas and approaches. Let's give examples. And let's talk about the world and how I love you.

I'm going to give the questioner, who asked late at night, a big hug! If it were me, I'd be in the same boat, struggling with this relationship. I'd want it but not want it, like it but dislike it, making it hard to choose.

Let's sort this out first.

When the questioner is sad, the first thing that comes to mind is ta. They need to understand why this is the case.

Your initial impression is inconsistent with what you later come into contact with, which makes you feel lost and disappointed.

You want to meet, but you're also afraid because of disgust. You're torn between two feelings and at a loss.

You're afraid to make a choice because you're torn between whether you'll fall in love with him or be jealous.

The questioner is repeatedly torn between the relationship because they are not yet ready to face the above emotional distress. I am going to share my views with the questioner.

When I have a problem and want to cry, the first person I think of is him. I don't know why, but I know I miss him and I know what I want from him.

He provides emotional value when I'm sad.

When we are sad, we think of him first because we know he can and will take on our sadness. We know we can share our sadness with him more than any other friend.

When we're having a hard time, the other person can comfort us, offer new solutions, and relieve our emotions. We know we can pour out our negative emotions to the other person.

This is the unique emotional value that the other person provides.

I fell in love with him at first sight during our first video call. However, I soon realized that he wasn't as good-looking as he appeared in that video (the lighting made him look handsome that day) and that his personality was completely different from what I had thought at first. I know I shouldn't be thinking about him anymore, but I think about him every day.

What you like is an imaginary version of the person.

When you fall in love at first sight, you have a lot of fantasies and expectations for the person. You think that the other person will have the personality you expect. Even after you realize that this is not the case, you still miss the other person. The questioner wants to continue discovering, anticipating, and exploring this person. They have a sense of curiosity, wanting to know what else about this person is different from what was expected.

The subject hopes that the other person will provide emotional value. It could also be a habit.

I want to chat with him and meet him.

I'm also afraid that I won't like him once I meet him.

Because I didn't like so many things about him in the first place.

At the same time, everything about him disgusted me. His voice, the way he spoke, his work, his life, even the sound of him eating—it all revolted me.

I would feel more disgusted if he complained to me or cried.

?

It must be a habit.

How long does it take to develop a habit? The formation of a habit generally goes through three stages.

The first stage lasts 1 to 7 days and is characterised by deliberate, unnatural behaviour. The second stage lasts 7 to 21 days and is characterised by deliberate, natural behaviour.

The third stage is about 21 to 90 days and is characterized by "unintentional and natural." This is the "stable period of habit formation," and once you've made it through this stage, the habit is an integral part of your life.

Every day for four months. Four months, 120 days, far more than 90 days, uninterrupted contact.

The questioner and TA have likely become accustomed to contacting each other. They are used to it, want to meet, but are also disgusted.

The questioner is the only one who knows how they feel and whether they like each other. What are the specific reasons why the questioner wants to meet?

The questioner can list them specifically. The questioner mentioned wanting to chat with him, so the questioner must have had a reason for wanting to chat with him.

The questioner was undoubtedly attracted to the way he talked. The questioner wanted to talk to him.

The questioner must have wanted to share her life with him. She mentioned that she dislikes many aspects of him. This dislike is undoubtedly the direct reason why the questioner doesn't like him.

If he asked me to be his girlfriend, I'd be happy and excited, but I'd say no. I don't like him, I don't think we're a good match, and I don't know enough about each other.

I get jealous when I think about him getting a girlfriend.

We must face our fears and make a choice.

If you choose to fall in love, the questioner will hesitate, thinking that you don't like each other, you are not suitable for each other, and you cannot be together. The questioner also feels that they don't know you well enough.

I have a question. You've been chatting every day for four months. You don't know each other. What did you talk about? Didn't you test each other in your 120-day conversations?

If you choose not to fall in love, there's no reason for the questioner to be jealous of him finding a girlfriend. It's probably because he's afraid of losing this dependence.

You're afraid that if he gets a girlfriend, you won't be able to chat with him whenever you want.

We fear the result of making a choice. We anticipate the result as if it will not align with our desires.

Right now, you might be in an ambiguous and vague stage where you can enjoy the care and attention without having to be responsible for the other person. This might be the most free stage, but it's also the most unstable. So, questioner, try it out and make a brave choice!

You need to decide whether you like it or not. You also need to decide what is suitable and what is not.

The questioner should also ask their own heart.

I am confident that the above will be helpful to the questioner, and I wish you well.

Dear Questioner,

After reading your description, one word comes to mind: friend-what-should-i-do-17501.html" target="_blank">boyfriend or merely a friend of the opposite sex? I empathize with your confusion.

In the aforementioned text, you stated, "I persistently inquire as to the reason for my longing for him and the nature of my expectations from him. Have you reached a conclusion regarding these matters?"

If he were to propose that I become his girlfriend, I would be gratified and elated, yet I would decline the offer. I do not believe that we are an optimal match, and our lack of familiarity precludes me from forming a well-informed opinion.

From this text, it is evident that you have a specific definition of the qualities you desire in a romantic partner. You express a desire to meet this individual and believe that they must possess the characteristics you find attractive, or perhaps embody an image that resonates with you deeply. I am curious whether you align with this assessment of yours.

Secondly, the concept of intimacy is defined in the context of the love triangle theory, which posits that love can be conceptualised as a triangle with three sides: intimacy, passion and commitment.

The term "love" is perceived differently by each individual. Without a clear understanding of what love entails, it becomes challenging to pursue and find genuine love. If the concept of love between partners is not consistent, it becomes difficult for them to provide the love they desire to their partner.

Do you concur?

In a recent status update, I inquired as to how others had spent the previous day, which coincidentally fell on 5/20.

It would be beneficial for parents to encourage their children to seek out families that exemplify the three key types of family structures when contemplating marriage.

1. It is imperative to conduct oneself in a reasonable manner and to maintain harmonious relationships with others.

Secondly, it is imperative to demonstrate filial piety towards one's parents and to express gratitude.

Thirdly, a positive and enterprising family culture is to be encouraged.

Please indicate whether you concur with this perspective.

In conclusion, the essence of human nature is to seek benefits and avoid harm. Love is at its optimal level when it is effortless.

I suggest you read the book If I Knew Before Marriage, which may provide insights that address some of your concerns.