Why do people find it difficult to communicate after confirming a romantic relationship?

Hello, I'm Yiya Shu, your Heart Exploration coach, and I'm thrilled to be here with you as you take on your current challenges!

Before a relationship is confirmed, that is, before a confession is made, we have a strong sense of novelty and curiosity about the other person. Since we don't know each other, we are full of infinite curiosity and fantasies about the other person. Most of the conversations at this time are based on experimentation. Because you like the other person, before you confess, your goal in the relationship is mostly to test, understand, and then try to win her over. It's an exciting time!

Once you've made your confession, that is, once she's won over, you'll find that the sense of novelty and curiosity will diminish a lot. That's because at that stage you've already said almost everything you wanted to say and chatted about almost everything you wanted to chat about! So, you don't know what to say at the moment, but it seems very awkward not to say something.

And the questioner may not be very receptive to awkward situations, so they try desperately to create topics to fill the void when they have nothing to say, which is what you mean by "excessive effort."

And perhaps you can also feel that "excessive force" cannot alleviate this awkward situation of having nothing to say. You are internally nervous and frustrated, and so you become less and less confident. But don't worry! There's a solution.

All these behaviors indicate that your relationship has reached a stalemate, unable to flow naturally forward. It seems that you have reached a point where it is difficult to take things further – but that just means there's room for improvement!

Then the questioner, you have to feel it, are you really suitable for each other? Are you really comfortable and happy with her?

Or could it be that before you confessed your love, you thought it would be a good match, but after contact, you found that it wasn't quite what you expected, which has made you feel a little out of sorts now?

Secondly, try to feel it. Do you also feel this unnaturalness when you get along with other people? It would be great to know whether this is only like this when you are with her or if you feel this way with other people too!

If you pay more attention, you'll be amazed at how you can find a certain pattern in your relationships with others!

You also mentioned before that you had never been in a relationship in college, so you have a wonderful opportunity to gain some experience in intimate relationships. When intimacy suddenly comes your way, you feel overwhelmed. From this perspective, it is normal to feel overwhelmed when you have no experience, but you can learn and grow from it!

This is the perfect time to learn how to get along with people, ask experienced friends for advice, or read books or watch the work of photographers related to managing intimate relationships. You can learn so much from these external forces and find a sense of it!

And that's a wrap!

It is recommended that you relax and refrain from displaying any signs of nervousness.

Once a couple has been established by their friends, the roles of the partners have changed, as has their mindset. Love is a wonderful phenomenon, and the partners have moved from a state of yearning to a state of experiencing it, which is inevitably a state of heightened emotional arousal.

In this relationship, the objective is to cultivate a positive and appealing image in the other person's mind. This entails paying close attention to one's words and actions, with a conscious effort to ensure they align with the desired image. If a word or action is perceived as slightly inappropriate, it is consciously suppressed to maintain the desired image.

In this manner, one's autonomy is significantly curtailed, and one becomes increasingly constrained. One is reluctant to utter an ordinary utterance, and one is similarly disinclined to perform an ordinary action, due to the fear of losing points in one's own image.

The entirety of reality is a product of one's own imagination.

If one does not wash one's hair in the morning, one may perceive one's image to be inferior and oneself to be a different person than one was the previous day.

Indeed, the act of washing one's hair has no bearing on the perceptions of others. These individuals are indifferent to such matters, whereas the individual in question is preoccupied with this concern. This phenomenon is analogous to that observed in romantic relationships. Regardless of one's actions, the image that the partner holds of the self remains unchanged.

No matter how assiduously one attempts to emulate another, one will never truly become that person. One is, and always will be, oneself.

If the object of one's affection holds positive sentiments, the specific hairstyle or attire worn will not be a significant factor. The primary focus will be on the individual's intrinsic value. Conversely, if the object of one's affection holds negative sentiments, the specific hairstyle or attire worn may become a significant factor in forming an impression.

It is therefore recommended that one should simply be one's true self, without any pretense, and should strive to be as authentic as possible. This approach will facilitate more harmonious interactions in the future.

There is no cause for concern.

It is to be expected that when a relationship is just established, both parties will feel a certain degree of shyness. It is therefore recommended that the advice provided above be followed, as this will help to alleviate any concerns. With time, the new roles will become more familiar, and the situation will stabilise.

I wish you the best of luck.

Hello!

The situation you describe is akin to an old Chinese saying: "Returning to one's hometown, one feels even more timid."

Perhaps you were pursuing it too hard, and at the moment of success, you suddenly felt a sense of panic and disorientation. This is often how you feel when a new situation presents itself. It's a steep balance, and it's broken.

Embark on a journey of love, where every detail is a new experience for you. Accept all your feelings, whether they are joy, pressure, or fear and anxiety. Falling in love is about forming an intimate connection with another person. Embrace this intimacy and pay attention to your true feelings. Connect with your own feelings to overcome obstacles in this intimate relationship.

Feel the tension, accept the emotion, and express it. Discuss it with your partner. This is something that is truly yours, and you can connect with it. This discussion will help you to dissolve the awkwardness in your heart.

Just let your heart rest in the moment. You'll see that two people don't need to catch each other's every word all the time. Listen to each other with all your heart and speak up when you need to. Leave the silent moments alone if you don't feel like expressing yourself. The silent moments are also very beautiful. You'll be able to enjoy the peacefulness of silence in your intimate relationship.

You will get through this. As time passes, you will find a new balance and harmony in your relationship. Open up to each other, feel each other, and enjoy loving and being loved.

You are blessed!

I'm certain Hongyu's reply will be helpful to you. Thank you for asking!

The message may be perceived as a confirmation of a romantic interest, which can be a positive experience. However, this may be followed by a sense of uncertainty about how to respond. This could be a manifestation of a burden associated with the situation.

What methods can be employed to overcome such distress? The following sharing may provide some inspiration:

First, attempt to recall the content and style of your conversations prior to the relationship becoming more serious. This will assist you in recapturing the feeling of having a productive discussion.

The shift in the level of intimacy in the relationship has resulted in a disruption in verbal communication. The core issue itself appears to be associated with the relationship, but it may also be influenced by an underlying change in the internal perception of the relationship.

Prior to the confirmation of the relationship, the atmosphere of the conversation was more relaxed and enjoyable. However, following the confirmation of the relationship, it appears that the questioner may have unconsciously carried a certain degree of emotional burden, which implied a sense of importance attached to the other person and a concern about maintaining the relationship.

Additionally, the lack of dating experience and the questioner's lack of confidence may be contributing factors.

If you wish to overcome the communication barrier, you may wish to consider reverting to a pre-relationship dynamic. This could involve downplaying the influence of your status as a couple and seeking to recapture the ease and comfort of communication prior to the relationship's formation.

Firstly, it would be beneficial to recall the content and style of your conversations before the relationship became more serious. This may help you recapture the feeling of having a good chat. Secondly, it is important to recognise that the change in intimacy in the relationship has caused a blockage in verbal fluency.

Secondly, encourage your partner to share more at the outset.

The message indicates that the questioner is genuinely invested in fostering a successful relationship. However, this strong motivation may inadvertently lead to the opposite outcome.

Therefore, the questioner can attempt to prompt their partner to take the initiative to share more and provide encouragement. This will provide an opportunity for both parties to work together to overcome the initial obstacle in the relationship at the beginning of its establishment.

In summary, this process is gradual. While the initial awkwardness of finding topics to discuss may create some challenges and impact the relationship, the effort to overcome this hurdle can strengthen the bond between partners.

It is important to relax, enjoy the positive aspects of the relationship, and address any unexpected challenges together. This will help to strengthen the bond between you both.

As a psychologist, my focus is on the emotional well-being of my clients, not on the theoretical aspects of human nature. I wish you the best.

Hello. I am Xin Tan's coach. I am here to support you and listen to your story.

I can feel your sincerity and simplicity. These are your strengths, and I am certain that your honesty is also a reason the other person has a good impression of you.

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As you said, "Attention will definitely be enhanced." It's like riding a bike: we clearly want to avoid that small stone, but often the more we pay attention to it, the more we ride straight into it.

As you said, "Attention will definitely be enhanced." It's like riding a bike: we clearly want to avoid that small stone, but often the more we pay attention to it, the more directly we ride into it.

You care too much about this relationship. This is why you are exerting too much effort and carrying too heavy a psychological burden.

Gender relations are a lifelong lesson. This is why we say, "Home is the best place to practice."

Read books like "Love Notes," a full record of the love process that forces reason and sensibility, and is delicate and vivid.

The author provides a rational analysis of love and outlines the entire process of falling in love.

Another example is the movie "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." It explains the innate differences between men and women and can also be a conversation starter for you and your girlfriend.

You should also watch some romantic movies to learn and master some "charming" skills. What suits you best is the best.

Women prefer men with a sense of humor.

Now, let's dive into some crucial stages of a relationship.

The stages of intimacy (there are 10 in total, and we will first look at the first 4 for you to use):

1. Attracted: Mutual attraction between the opposite sexes—personality, appearance, and qualities.

1. Attracted: Mutual attraction between the opposite sexes—personality + appearance + qualities.

It doesn't matter if you are like-minded or just like each other. A good wife needs a good husband, and vice versa. It's all a matter of attraction. Both parties are driven together.

2. Appreciation period: the "halo effect" caused by hormonal influence, only seeing the good sides of the other person, "the lover sees the beauty in the eyes of the beloved."

Appreciate him, even his smelly feet. He's a "stinky man," and you love him anyway.

3. The settling-in period: love – family. This is the long-term phase where you get used to each other's good and bad sides.

3. The period of habit: love – family affection, getting used to each other's good and bad sides (long-term phase).

Love is hard. The fairy-tale love of Mr. Qian Zhongshu and Ms. Yang Jiang, which everyone envies, was also maintained by the two of them with their hearts.

Love is hard. It's exhausting. But it's worth it. The fairy-tale love of Mr. Qian Zhongshu and Ms. Yang Jiang, which everyone envies, was also maintained by the two of them with their hearts.

4. Expectation: We always expect the other person to change when we find something unacceptable.

4. Expectation period: We always expect the other person to make changes where we find them unacceptable.

Family therapy guru Virginia Satir once said that when a man and a woman talk about their feelings, they start by talking about the weather, then move on to facts, and gradually move on to opinions. They then gradually start talking about their feelings and finally open up to each other and talk about their vulnerabilities.

To deepen the connection with your partner, you must do the following three things:

1. Expresses feelings.

Intimacy is only possible when there is a connection at the emotional level.

Expressing your feelings is the best way to create intimacy. When both sides have different opinions, it's time to take a stand. Reasoning is useless because everyone thinks they are right.

Reasoning in a relationship will only lead to arguments. If you win the argument, you lose the relationship. Emotion guides action, reason guides thinking.

2. Don't complain.

You have every right to make a request when your expectations are not met. Complaining is a waste of time and only leads to a sense of frustration.

Behind every complaint is a hidden unmet need.

3. Take off your armor.

Take off your armor in front of your loved ones.

Being intimate means having no fear in the presence of the other person.

Open, connected, intimate.

Open, connected, and intimate.

All external relationships are directly related to our relationship with our parents.

I am confident that the above will be helpful to you. The world and I love you.

I am confident that the above will be helpful to you. The world and I love you.

If you want to continue the conversation, click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. I will communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Hello, I am Shu Yiqingzheng. I hope to offer you some thoughts and support in a kind and constructive way.

It can be challenging to know what to say in a relationship when we're not sure what's expected of us. It's understandable that you're new to this and might feel a bit overwhelmed. It's natural to try too hard when we lack experience, and sometimes that can lead to rambling.

I'm sending you lots of hugs!

You have the ability to reflect on your inner feelings and needs, and you are courageous enough to seek guidance from psychology to facilitate your personal growth. This is admirable.

01. When people exert themselves too much, they may experience some challenges.

There are two possible reasons for this situation. Either you lack experience and confidence, as you mentioned, or you are overly invested in the relationship you already have with the other person. In that case, you may feel the need to love the other person well, take responsibility for taking care of them, and give to them.

It is worth noting that if one exerts oneself too much in a relationship, it can lead to feelings of stress. This can also make the other person feel uncomfortable.

It is often suggested that a mature and loving person should first focus on developing themselves before entering into a relationship. This approach is often seen as a way of loving oneself.

When we are able to accept ourselves and love ourselves unconditionally, while also maintaining healthy relationships, we can ensure that our relationships are based on mutual respect and understanding.

02. Self-Acceptance: This is a form of self-acceptance that emerges after we have fully understood and come to terms with all the characteristics, strengths, and weaknesses that make up our identity.

It would be beneficial to have an objective and balanced evaluation system in place to support self-acceptance. At the same time, it is important to give ourselves positive feedback to help us gain the strength to try and achieve what we once thought was beyond our reach. It can also help us face the parts of life that are not in our control, let go peacefully, and help us find another way.

To achieve self-acceptance is to cultivate a stable and objective self-awareness of oneself, as well as the capacity to self-regulate with peace and self-awareness.

It also means that every choice and expression can be closely connected to your inner self. Just like when you are with your partner and chatting, if you express your true inner feelings and thoughts and express what is on your mind at the moment, you may find that you have more to say than you initially thought.

03, I would be grateful for any advice on how to avoid this situation.

In addition to the psychological growth mentioned above, it might be helpful to try to be aware of yourself. For instance, you might ask yourself whether there is no topic to talk about or whether you are nervous and don't know how to express yourself. If so, you could consider doing something about it.

If it's the former, you might consider discussing the weather or a topic you're knowledgeable about, or something you've recently read or seen in the news. It's also important to pay attention and listen to the other person, and to respond in a timely manner to express your approval and concern for them.

If it is due to nervousness, you might consider taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself down, without putting pressure on yourself, and doing some thinking. It's also possible that the other person may genuinely like all of your conditions.

You might find it helpful to read some psychology books on personal growth and relationships between the sexes. Some suggestions include "The Courage to Be Disliked," "Intimacy: Achieving Soul Mates," and "The Art of Communication."

I hope I can be of some help to you.

As a heart exploration coach at Yi Xinli, I am available to continue the communication with you. You can find me by clicking "Find a Coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom of the page. I would be happy to communicate with you one-on-one.

After reading your description, I just want to say: It's great to be young, and this is what it's like to be in love! Because you care, you will care about how the other person feels. Well done on meeting someone you like!

We all have that first time in our lives. When we fall in love for the first time, we focus on the other person. We pay attention to what they eat, drink, and do. We want to understand their likes and dislikes.

That's fantastic!

As the saying goes, love is best when it's effortless. You can't earn love through humble devotion. Someone who loves you doesn't need to try to please you, and someone who doesn't love you doesn't deserve your good intentions.

It's not selfish, passionate, or barbaric to remember your shortcomings. It's actually quite healthy to love someone who doesn't love you back with obsessive passion. I'd also like to share my own views with you for your reference.

First, there's no need to be so deliberate when you're in a relationship. You can be sweet and say things that girls like to hear.

Second, life is busy, and your girlfriend needs companionship. Show her some love and consideration. What a girl wants is not for you to earn a lot of money, but for you to favor and care about her! So you should prepare a gift for the holiday!

It's good to have a routine in place. You can set an alarm on your phone to remind you to buy a gift.

It's okay to be afraid of your girlfriend. It just means you care about her and respect her. You can even tell your friends. They'll respect you for it.

Next, you should talk about some of the things you need to agree on before you get married. For example, you should decide which city you'll live in after you tie the knot.

Can you tell me how the property is going to be divided? Wait a minute.

I wish you the best of luck! Live together until you are old and grey, and be united forever!

Good morning, I can sense your frustration and confusion. You were pleased with the outcome of your confession, but now you're unable to communicate with your girlfriend. Don't worry, many people have experienced a similar situation. I'll address the key points in a few minutes.

Your excessive enthusiasm and slow reactions indicate that you are particularly concerned about the other person's performance.

Prior to becoming romantically involved, you and your partner enjoyed a highly relaxed and content relationship. Following your confession, your partner accepted your proposal, resulting in a sudden surge of happiness and contentment. However, at this juncture, you may have developed an inexplicable sense of insecurity and fear of loss.

Please explain why you are unable to respond to your girlfriend's words. Is it because you are concerned that she will be upset if you say the wrong thing, or because you are unsure how to respond in a way that will make her happy?

I have had a similar experience, but in my case, the individual in question is my direct supervisor. When my department manager first assumed his position, he inquired about certain matters. On occasion, when I was unsure of the appropriate response, I would become somewhat tongue-tied. At other times, I felt the need to impress my supervisor, which led me to speak at length. In summary, I was quite uneasy.

Subsequently, I became aware of my own state of mind. I informed myself that my desire to perform well and my concern for my leader's emotions were the cause. After that, I let go and gradually became more familiar with my leader, and those situations no longer occurred.

An individual's words and actions are influenced by a combination of personal psychological factors and external environmental influences.

You indicated that prior to entering into a relationship with your current girlfriend, you and she had a very good rapport. However, following your confession of love, you are unsure how to proceed. It would be beneficial to ascertain whether there have been any changes in your girlfriend's behaviour since you made your confession of love. Have you noticed any changes in her demeanour, such as becoming more demanding or easily upset? Have you felt a sense of being controlled? There has been a shift in the energy dynamic between you.

For a productive dialogue to occur, both parties must be willing to engage in constructive conversation. It is essential to alter one's perspective and identify topics that align with the other person's interests. When there is a lack of alignment, it is likely that one party will become less inclined to communicate, which can hinder the flow of ideas and lead to a sense of uncertainty.

Previously, you interacted with each other in a mutually understanding way, showing enthusiasm and your best sides. Once you have confirmed your relationship, it means that responsibilities have arisen. At this time, girls often have a lot of demands on boys, wanting to change the aspects of the relationship that they previously thought were bad in the boy. As the saying goes, meeting a good woman can change a man's life, and this is what it means. Indeed, many girls like to reform boys, and at this time, boys will be overly concerned because they are afraid that the girl will be angry.

It is evident that you are highly invested in your relationship with your girlfriend. I am therefore pleased to offer you a few tips that I hope will be of assistance.

1. Do not be afraid to present your authentic self.

It is likely that you have demonstrated your abilities to a certain extent before disclosing your feelings. It is important to recognise that nobody is perfect and that everyone has some minor flaws. Additionally, individuals have different internal considerations. What is not a significant issue for one person may be perceived as a flaw by another. For instance, some individuals dislike the sound of food being eaten and speak too loudly. These are just some of the minor habits in life. It is not necessary to be concerned about them. It is important to present your true self to the other person. If you are shy, this will also cause the other person to be shy. It is unlikely that two individuals who are not genuine will be able to support each other effectively throughout their lives.

2. The most effective method for maintaining intimacy in a relationship is open communication. If there are matters that require discussion, they can be conveyed via WeChat.

It is important to note that any fluctuations in heart-related interactions with another person should be addressed internally. If there is a need for clarification or if there are perceived shortcomings in the other person, it is essential to communicate promptly and effectively. While disagreements are inevitable in any relationship, it is crucial to ensure that they are handled in a timely and constructive manner. A brief argument can be beneficial if it allows for genuine expression and understanding.

It is important to recognize the impact of communication in maintaining relationships, particularly when communication is limited due to geographical distance. Timely communication via WeChat, maintaining frequent contact, and understanding each other's lives can facilitate more meaningful conversations and foster empathy, thereby avoiding awkward conversations.

3. Set aside your question for the moment and refrain from dwelling on this communication issue.

I recall observing a comedic exchange in which a man was prone to stuttering when feeling nervous. He was unsure of how to respond and, as a result, his stuttering worsened. One day, he encountered an individual who claimed to possess the ability to cure his stutter. This individual advised him to simply engage in singing and speaking. The man enjoyed singing, so he began to sing, feeling happy, and spoke a few words as he normally would, without stuttering. However, he was unaware of this change and, upon realizing that he was no longer stuttering, he began to stutter again.

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This is the effect of mental suggestion. Focusing on the issue of stuttering will only serve to reinforce it internally, leading to an increase in the frequency of occurrences. Therefore, I advise you to disregard this question and relax, as any problem will dissipate.

Thank you for your inquiry. I hope my response is helpful. Please let me know if I can be of further assistance. Best regards, Xinyu

Hello!

Before the relationship is confirmed, the two get along naturally and have good conversations. After the confession is successful, on the contrary, they don't know what to say. This situation may be related to the discomfort with intimacy, but it also presents an opportunity for confidence-and-feeling-inferior-is-it-related-to-a-childs-growth-experience-6943.html" target="_blank">growth and learning!

In other words, in a relationship that is too close and too intimate, you may still be afraid to give your heart away and may still have reservations—but that's okay!

There are so many reasons why you might be afraid to open up! Maybe it's because you don't trust the other person will accept you unconditionally. Or perhaps it's because you lack self-confidence. Whatever the reason, there's nothing to be afraid of!

If there's a barrier in your heart, and the body gets too close, or the paper is pierced, and the relationship is clarified, it will be awkward instead. But don't worry! There are ways to avoid this.

This is the exciting challenge of uniting body and mind!

Oh my goodness, before you confirmed the relationship, you only talked about superficial topics and didn't have many in-depth, intimate conversations, did you?

At this time, you may feel that you still have your own space and that you are safe. You may even feel that you can say a little bit of what is on your mind without revealing too much about yourself.

And after the confession is successful, you may face being examined in every way. You may feel a rush of excitement at the prospect of being invaded, and naturally you will be a little on your guard, so you dare not speak or respond casually.

Embarking on a new relationship is an exciting journey! However, it can also be a challenging one, especially if you've experienced insecurity in close relationships since childhood. The transition from maintaining a certain social distance before the relationship is confirmed to embracing a more intimate distance after the confession is successful can require some adjustment. But with the right mindset and a little courage, you can navigate this transition with ease and joy!

The original poster said that he had never been in love in college, so he has never had a romantic experience before!

You've never had the chance to practice getting along with girls, but you're ready to learn!

This may be related to your strict upbringing by your parents, or to their relationship.

If your parents have a great relationship and you have a great relationship with them, you'll naturally feel a sense of trust and closeness towards other people, without being overly anxious or worried about not doing well enough!

When you are feeling guarded inside, you may deliberately try to chat with your girlfriend in order to ease the relationship. However, these words, which do not carry more emotional content, run counter to the subconscious insecurity. That is why they are overdone or incoherent, making you feel a bit hollow yourself. But don't worry! This is something you can work on together.

Luckily, your girlfriend gets you!

Your girlfriend's understanding may remove some of your defenses, but you may not yet be ready to completely trust her.

Absolutely! You can share and discuss this confusion with your girlfriend, and she'll give you all the time you need to adapt to the intimacy.

And there's more! You've got to accept yourself completely and boost your self-confidence.

Embrace your flaws and recognize that everyone is perfect in their own way!

Whatever is in your heart, don't be afraid to let your girlfriend know! And no matter how you act, don't worry about your girlfriend not accepting you.

If your girlfriend really loves you, she'll absolutely love everything about you, including your moods, your ease, and even your confusion!

And the best part is, you'll build deeper trust and affection, and you'll become more and more comfortable with your lovey-dovey life as a couple!

And that's it!

I'm Yan Guilai, a psychological counselor, and I wish you all the best!

Hello, questioner.

Indeed, there are many such cases. Initially, when first courting someone, there are often many topics to discuss. However, once a relationship is established, there may be less opportunity for new topics to arise.

First of all, try to relax and avoid getting nervous. Since the other person has agreed to be in a relationship with you, it is likely because you have something attractive about you. I also believe that it is probably not because you are a good talker or say something pleasing that has impressed her. Then, since it is not because of your "words" that attracted her, even if you are a little "word-poor" now, I believe the other person will not blame you. The other person has also made their attitude clear and shown that they understand. In a relationship, "sincerity can most deeply touch someone's heart." For example, you can even sincerely tell her, "I find that I seem to be a little word-poor right now, but I really care about you. You won't blame me, will you?" Express yourself sincerely, but also let the other person feel that you care about them.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what you are actually afraid of if you feel so uncertain about how to respond. Could it be that you are worried about losing the other person's interest?

If you're concerned about losing the other person, it might be helpful to ask yourself what you're afraid of.

It is worth noting that when a girl looks at a boy, it is not necessarily because of their eloquence, the beauty of their words, or their ability to find topics to talk about. What may be of greater importance is the character of the person, including whether they are honest, persevering, enterprising, dedicated, and so on.

However, if you would like to find some topics to talk about, that is also possible. For example:

1. Consider developing your sense of humor.

It might be a good idea to send your beloved girl some interesting little stories and jokes from time to time. Girls tend to like guys who can make them laugh. Who doesn't like someone who brings them joy? Just be sure to do it in moderation. I've seen guys before who, in order to make a girl laugh, send her funny stories all day long, and the girl just goes crazy. It's probably best to just let her know that you're funny and that you care about her.

2. You might consider discussing past experiences you have had with each other.

You might consider sharing some of your past experiences, the places you've been, the people you've met, and the things you've been through. However, it might be best to avoid making too many comments about people or things. It's probably best to be guided by positive energy. It's important to remember that the whole process of small talk should be happy and relaxed.

3. You might consider discussing your plans for your studies, your plans for the future, or your interests and hobbies. It's worth noting that many girls appreciate a sense of motivation, direction, and passion in a potential partner. Sharing your enthusiasm and value in front of her could be a more effective approach than simply talking about your plans.

It might be a good idea to talk about each other's hobbies.

A person's hobbies can offer insight into their personality, which can foster mutual understanding. If the other person shares a similar hobby, it can deepen the connection between the two.

It is also important to remember not to try too hard when chatting. If you do, the other person may feel pressured. It is best to just be yourself. If you don't go to the same school, show yourself off in your circle of friends and show your positive, sunny side. In short, show your value. When the other person sees your light, you may find that they take the initiative to talk to you.

I wish you the best of luck!