Why does my boyfriend treat me so well, yet I still want to leave him?

Hello, my name is Strawberry!

It's so sad when people don't know how to cherish their partners. They only realize how precious they are after they lose them. It's so rare that people will take practical actions and be sincere to regain them after they realize how precious they are. In this case, you can make a decision about the relationship based on the actual situation.

It's so easy to make rash decisions when we're feeling negative emotions.

The questioner's partner hurt her because he said he couldn't like her. It's sad, but in a relationship, whoever invests too much sincerity first will get hurt once the relationship changes. The questioner invested her heart, and it hurts her the most that when she's trying her best, her partner says he can't like her.

While the questioner was healing from her emotional wounds, her ex-boyfriend reappeared in her life. After months apart, he expressed regret for hurting her and said he wanted to reconcile. However, he also told her he didn't like her, which made the questioner doubt his sincerity. She agreed to reconcile with him, but with the intention of getting revenge.

We all make mistakes, but it's how we learn and grow from them that matters.

As they spend more time together, they realize that their boyfriend has changed since they first met. The questioner also notices that after a few months of calm, her boyfriend has come to understand his own psychology. He's realized that he loves her deeply and is trying to show her that he cares.

It's possible that she's invested too much in the relationship and that the initial hurt has left her with some lingering feelings of resentment. When she faces her boyfriend's kindness and attentiveness, she might feel guilty and not feel truly happy because her indifference has hurt him.

The questioner can feel her boyfriend's dedication and needs for her, but she can no longer find the heart she had when she first fell in love with him. It's totally understandable! She can't feel comfortable and natural when spending time with him, and more often than not, she just wants to show him the cold side of herself to make him see the distance between them.

Oh, dear! What should I do?

It's so sad when love turns to hate. We often forget that the person we hate might be ourselves or the other person in the situation. It's important to look at things realistically to find the answer and a solution that works for everyone.

☀️It's so important to understand emotions! When your boyfriend says he doesn't like the topic master, it can be really hurtful. It can make the topic master feel like their efforts and dedication have been misplaced, and it can remind them that they don't meet the boyfriend's standards for a spouse.

It's natural for both men and women to want to conquer relationships. When we see our partner being conquered by someone else, it gives us a sense of accomplishment, boosts our self-confidence, and affirms our own charm. So, when the boyfriend expressed that he didn't like the topic master, the topic master was hurt in his self-esteem, and therefore grew from love to hate.

It's so sad to see how much pain and blame there is on both sides. The boyfriend is so hurt and angry because he feels like his efforts have been rejected. He's only thinking about his own feelings and not considering the heart and effort that the questioner has invested in this relationship. He's also not thinking about the harm that he'll cause to the questioner by pulling out of this relationship.

Another kind of hatred is hatred of oneself. This is when you blame yourself for surrendering your heart to this relationship earlier, when you haven't yet figured out your partner's mind. So, after getting back together, you can't return to the past togetherness. Self-defense makes you stay indifferent, and you're unwilling to let yourself repeat the same mistakes.

☀️Love is not to be taken for granted. It seems that no amount of love can guarantee that we will not be hurt, or that we will only feel happiness. After all, we are not born knowing love, and we are all learning the truth of life through love.

Being with her boyfriend once made the questioner experience happiness, and she also experienced some tough emotions during the breakup, like pain, sadness, and resentment. After getting back together, because of the past hurt, the questioner was unable to continue to invest her heart. Because of fear, and because she wanted to protect herself, she felt some tough emotions like guilt and internal conflict when she saw her boyfriend's sincerity.

The good news is that the answer is already inside you! Getting back together and getting along with your boyfriend is the answer for you in this relationship. The hurt has already happened, and even if you make up for it with all your heart, there will still be traces of the wound in your heart. Love does not mean tolerating everything, and true love does not mean compromising or putting yourself in a difficult situation.

☀️Seek help: The topic master's boyfriend realized his love for the topic master after the breakup and turned to guard your relationship with all his heart. After being hurt, the topic master deliberately kept herself aloof in order to get back at her boyfriend, and no longer easily fell into this relationship. Excessive self-defense not only repelled her partner's approach, but also tortured herself.

It's clear that both the questioner and her boyfriend have faced some challenges when it comes to love. If they're still committed to the relationship, seeking professional help together could be a great way to work through their issues. With guidance, they can learn to face and overcome the problems between them. They can also learn how to manage their intimate relationship. When they understand what love is, the questioner's confusion will surely disappear.

I really hope my answer helps you out! Warm regards,

Hello, It is as though you are seeing a friend face-to-face when you read this description carefully.

After carefully reading your description, I can sense the dilemma you're facing. On the one hand, getting back together might seem like the easier option. However, on the other hand, not doing so could be perceived as being unfair to the efforts you've invested in the relationship.

Perhaps we could discuss this state of mind?

You mentioned that he had hurt you previously and said he didn't like you. You also said that a few months later, he asked you to get back together, and you agreed because you still had resentment in your heart and wanted to get back at him. After reading this, I would like to ask:

1. Has he ever shared with you the reasons behind his feelings?

2. Could I ask you to consider what might make you feel that "he doesn't like you" is a kind of hurt?

3. Could you please reflect on what might be behind your current feeling of being "trapped" in the relationship?

The above three points are intended to help you see the child within yourself who feels insecure in the relationship. When the other person first said, "I'm not attracted to you," it was probably entirely due to his personal feelings about the relationship and he didn't mean to hurt you. However, because you didn't feel secure at that time, you might have said whatever came to mind without thinking. Since you can't tell from your description that the other person reacted strongly to this, it's possible that his inner container has taken on some of your feelings of insecurity.

I believe that you are also a little more stable under the other person's acceptance, which may be when this thought of "not wanting to hurt him" appears.

I wonder if I might ask you a few more questions to help me understand your situation better.

You mentioned that he is being serious and treating you well, which is a positive step. However, it seems that you are still experiencing a sense of winning, which might not be as sincere or heartfelt as it once was. Additionally, you mentioned that spending time with him is not as comfortable or natural as it used to be. I would like to inquire further about these observations.

1. Could you please elaborate on what exactly makes you happy when you feel like you've "won"?

2. Could you please describe the specific "relationship status" that makes you feel comfortable and natural from the bottom of your heart?

3. Would you perhaps be open to giving this relationship another chance?

4. If you were to consider associating your own "attachment pattern" with one of your "significant others," who would you think of?

The above four points are meant to suggest that the ultimate decision about whether or not the relationship will continue to develop is, in fact, entirely up to you and your partner. However, it is important to recognize that your attachment patterns in the relationship are likely influenced by past experiences. If you are seeking to improve your relationship dynamic, it may be helpful to reflect on your past experiences of facing and dealing with relationships. This reflection could potentially help you identify and address some of your personality traits that you may not have fully recognized.

It is worth noting that there is no standard degree of how a relationship should be. There is no one right way to be in a relationship. Rather, it is about whether both parties are willing to "understand each other even if they occasionally see each other's shortcomings." (Or even if they really can't understand each other, it doesn't prevent you from separating in a way that causes relatively little harm to each other.)

You ask, "What should I do?" Perhaps rephrasing the question could help you consider a different perspective. How would you like to handle this matter from the bottom of your heart?

I hope the above responses and sharing will provide some inspiration for you as you face and deal with this relationship. Time is running out, so we'll stop here for now.

I would like to suggest that you take good care of yourself.

Good day, inquirer. I am a Heart Exploration coach. Might I inquire as to whether you are proud and uninquisitive?

I have carefully read the problems and confusions you described on the platform. Are you experiencing difficulties in your relationship? Your boyfriend once caused you emotional distress and stated that there was no way he could like you. He subsequently returned to you, and you agreed to reconcile with him because you wanted to retaliate against him. Now he is treating you well, and you are uncertain about his intentions. Is he merely engaging in manipulative behavior, or has he genuinely changed his mind and desires to treat you well?

You are currently experiencing ambivalence, and you are reluctant to cause him distress because he has been treating you well and is committed to the relationship. However, you no longer feel a sense of joy or connection in the relationship, and apart from the initial excitement of the beginning of the relationship, you do not feel as comfortable and natural together. What should you do?

Your lack of interest and emotional distance make him feel insecure, yet you are unable to recapture the level of passion you once shared. He feels a sense of dependency on you, yet you do not reciprocate these feelings. You frequently experience the urge to end the relationship, yet at the same time, you desire to remain together. What is the optimal course of action in this situation? Regardless of circumstances, relationships are a matter of two individuals, and it is essential to identify opportunities for open communication.

I am here to assist you in analyzing and organizing your thoughts.

1. It is imperative to remain calm and rational.

The issue at hand is that you are unable to discern your true feelings, whether they are driven by a desire for revenge or by something else. Now that you have observed that he is treating you well, you experience discomfort, yet you do not feel particularly concerned. The crucial point is that you do not feel at ease in his presence. It is essential to consider your feelings for this individual and to strive for composure and rationality. In the event that you do not possess feelings for him or are only influenced by his positive treatment of you, maintaining a long-term relationship, even if you do decide to pursue it, will be challenging. It is imperative to gain clarity on this matter and to refrain from acting impulsively. Instead, it is essential to engage in thoughtful reflection.

2. Develop an effective communication model

It is imperative to communicate and exchange views with your partner, regardless of whether you intend to remain in the relationship or pursue other options. A stable and long-lasting relationship hinges on effective communication and mutual support. Whether you are sharing joy or facing difficulties, mutual understanding and support are crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship. It is beneficial to identify an appropriate opportunity to engage in constructive dialogue, including any concerns or uncertainties you may have, and to reflect on your feelings about the relationship.

3. Mutual commitment and tolerance

Regardless of the circumstances, emotional balance is of paramount importance. This necessitates mutual commitment and tolerance. While it is crucial for one individual to extend kindness towards the other, emotional balance is equally vital. The relationship should be reciprocal, rather than contingent upon the goodwill and commitment of a single person. The optimal relationship is a two-way street. If one party lacks this perspective, it can potentially give rise to a multitude of issues. It is my hope that you are cognizant of this yourself.

4. Listen to your heart.

The question of whether a person is worthy of another's affections cannot be answered by considering only the goodness of the other person. Rather, relationships are shaped by a multitude of factors, including mutual interests and values, future aspirations, and so forth. In making this determination, it is not necessary to engage in exhaustive analysis; rather, one should simply follow their heart. If there is reluctance, it is advisable to seek counsel as soon as possible. It is important to avoid feelings of discomfort and unease. Relationships are a sacred and beautiful aspect of life, and it is crucial to approach them with sincerity and commitment.

It is my sincere hope that this response is of some assistance to you. Should you require further clarification, you are invited to follow me (by clicking on my personal homepage), select the Heart Exploration service, and communicate with me directly. With the utmost respect and affection,

Hello, question asker! I'm June Lai Feng, and I'm excited to help you!

From your narrative, it is clear that you are currently in a complex and contradictory state of mind. The situation you are in is entangled and involves emotions, revenge, hurt, and self-perception—and you can work through it!

Facing such a complex emotional state is an exciting opportunity for growth and understanding!

First, you need to admit that your current feelings are confusing and entangled. This state often stems from unresolved internal conflicts and unhealed wounds from past events. But you can overcome this!

It could also be that you have not fully processed some emotions or knots from the past. Be honest with yourself about your true feelings — you've got this!

It's time to embrace your emotions! Whether you're feeling resentment, indifference, or confusion, it's important to acknowledge and accept these feelings as part of the journey towards resolution.

Second, take a moment for yourself to reflect on your motives and feelings. Ask yourself if you really still love him or if you are just confused because he is being nice to you now.

Now, think about whether you have truly let go of your resentment towards him. Have you let it go, or do you still have some resentment left? And think about your current feelings towards him. Are they genuine, or are they based on a desire for revenge? Consider what you really want. Do you want a healthy relationship, or do you want a relationship where you are together to "win back"?

So, are your feelings for him based on love, habit, or guilt about hurting him? And does the relationship meet your needs?

And you can even decide whether you are ready to re-establish a healthy relationship! Clarifying your needs can help you better assess whether the relationship is right for you.

Take the time to think deeply and communicate your feelings honestly with him. This is your chance to share your confusion, indifference, and uncertainty about the relationship. Don't hold back! Share your true feelings, including your resentment and confusion.

Let him know how you feel and embark on an exciting journey of building a healthier, more authentic relationship together!

Then, set boundaries and be clear about your own boundaries and needs. If you feel unable to return to the passionate state you once were in, don't worry! There's no need to force yourself.

Discuss with him how you can make your relationship even better! If you decide to continue the relationship, then you need to define clear boundaries.

Tell him what your needs and expectations are and what your current emotional state is. This will help you two get on the same page and avoid any confusion or uncertainty.

Instead, focus on your own feelings and don't ignore your inner voice and feelings. If being with him makes you feel uncomfortable or unnatural, then this is an important sign!

Respect your feelings and don't force yourself into an untrue state of affairs. In this case, you get to think carefully about your feelings for him!

If you really can't be truly invested and happy, then it's probably not fair to either of you to force the relationship.

Finally, give yourself time to process these complex emotions. You've got this! Don't rush into a decision, and don't be swayed by his sense of need.

Sometimes distance and time can give you a clearer view of your own heart. And that's a good thing! It means you're on the road to emotional healing.

Give yourself the space and time you need to let your emotions flow naturally. There's no need to rush into making a decision right away or to expect everything to be resolved quickly.

Sometimes our emotions and thoughts change over time. This is great because it means you can make a final decision when you're fully ready! Make sure you have thought through your choice and are prepared to make it.

Seize this chance for personal growth! Reflect on your needs and expectations in relationships and discover new ways to love yourself.

Self-improvement can give you the confidence you need to face future relationships head on!

Ultimately, you get to make a decision! If you find that you are unable to truly let go of past hurts and unable to establish an honest relationship, then ending the relationship may be a healthier option.

If you are willing to try to rebuild the relationship, then go for it! It will take time and effort, but it will be worth it. Work with him to build a relationship based on truth and respect.

Whatever decision you make, make sure it is based on your true feelings and happiness! Don't be driven by revenge or other external factors, but focus on your own internal needs.

The world and I love you! And I hope my story helps you too!

I wish you all the happiness in the world!

Hello, my name is Berek.

I appreciate your perspective. It's understandable that you're grappling with feelings of resentment towards the past and uncertainty about the future. When we're faced with such complex emotions, it can be challenging to make decisions.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider why you feel happy but not sincere. It's possible that, at a deeper level, you may still be affected by past hurts, which could make you subconsciously want to seek revenge to restore balance.

However, when he begins to treat you sincerely, you may find yourself experiencing a certain degree of conflict. You want to enjoy his kindness, but you cannot completely forget the past hurt, which can lead to a complicated and unstable emotional state.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider why you don't feel as comfortable and natural around him as you would like. It may be that your mindset has not yet fully shifted from revenge to genuine acceptance.

It seems that your heart is still caught up in the past, which makes it difficult for you to fully relax and enjoy the present. It's understandable that he's invested a lot of emotion and hopes in getting your response and recognition.

Perhaps it would be helpful to give yourself some time to reflect and gain a deeper understanding of your own needs and desires.

Perhaps it would be helpful to ask yourself what kind of relationship you really want. Do you want to continue this relationship with a sense of revenge, or do you want a truly healthy, equal, and loving relationship?

If you find that you still have difficulty fully letting go of the past, you might consider allowing yourself some time and space to heal your heart. You may wish to try releasing your emotions through meditation, journaling, or chatting with a trusted friend.

It would be beneficial to your future relationships if you could find a way to truly heal your heart.

If you feel ready to move on from past hurts and embrace a genuine relationship, I gently suggest that you communicate openly with him. You might consider sharing your past experiences and concerns, and listening to his thoughts and feelings.

Through open communication, you can gain a deeper understanding of each other and identify a way of getting along that is more suitable for both parties.

Ultimately, whatever decision you make, it is crucial to remember that your happiness is of the utmost importance. It is important to avoid compromising your feelings for the sake of revenge or to please others.

I believe that when you truly love yourself, you are more likely to attract someone who truly loves you.

I wish you the best of luck.

Hello, my name is Coach Yu from Xin Tan, and I would love to chat with you about this topic.

First of all, it's important to remember that the past will always affect the present. As the questioner wrote, he hurt me in the past and said he didn't like me.

Let's ask ourselves some questions. What are the memories of the time we spent with him? What emotions and feelings did that relationship bring me?

We can also ask ourselves whether that relationship has affected our views on love and values. It's worth asking whether my view of myself has changed in any way.

I'd love to hear if you've gained any insights about love!

But don't worry, past experiences don't determine our present and future. You've got this! Have the courage to move on.

Second, there's something in psychology called the "mirroring effect." It can make us think that how others see us is how we really are, and that their feelings are the same as our own.

It's so important to remember that this subjective interpretation of other people's feelings comes from within. How we think of ourselves is how we force this way of thinking onto the people who are important to us, interpreting that they think the same way.

I totally get where you're coming from. I think the questioner's right. It seems like he was holding a grudge and agreed to reconcile just to get back at you. It's like he was playing with your feelings.

Let's ask ourselves: What do we want from this person? Why do we want to get back together? Why do we want revenge?

And there's more! Every one of us has an inner world with its own stage. We're the star of the show, with other people and things playing supporting roles. Our emotions, desires, and logic are part of this show, too, and they help us create the story.

When we meet new people and experience new things in real life, we often find ourselves unconsciously using our internal scripts to interpret external relationships. It's as if we're pulling the people in our lives onto the stage of our hearts, inviting them to "perform" our inner drama together. This is why it's so important to remember that how we view a relationship is up to us.

As the original poster wrote, he is treating me very well right now, which has caused me to feel a bit trapped and unable to bear the thought of hurting him. I can relate to that!

It's totally normal to feel this way! We all expect someone to be there for us, and we often imagine our perfect partner based on our own feelings.

And that's how we'll find that relationships are really about finding yourself and getting to know yourself.

We can ask ourselves, "Am I indifferent to him? What is it that I really want?"

I'd really love to know what it is about myself that always wants to break up!

We can also ask ourselves some other nice, gentle questions like: What is my ideal boyfriend like? What is my ideal relationship like?

I'd love to know what my heart really wants. And I'd love to know what I can do about it!

When we know what we need, it's so much easier to make the right choices!

It's so important to find some time to communicate with him on a soul level. You need to tell him your true thoughts and listen to his heart, especially to his feelings about spending time with you. Expressing your feelings can help you to release pent-up emotions and prevent you from developing distorted thoughts and behaviors due to repression.

If this is something that's bothering you, it's okay! It might not be easy to overcome it immediately, but you've got this. Try to find a family member or friend you trust and who has always given you positive support to talk to. If you feel the need, you can also find a counselor, because emotions must be expressed to relieve the heaviness and blockage in our hearts.

And don't forget to care for yourself, take care of your body, and take care of your feelings! When you enrich your inner self, discover your unique value, and build a strong core, you'll feel more confident in making choices and taking responsibility for them.

I'd highly recommend reading "Live a Life of Blossoming Joy"!

Good day.

After reviewing your description, I have a clear understanding of your current state of mind.

In your initial description, you stated that he once hurt you by saying he didn't like you. However, after a few months, he asked you to get back together. You agreed because you were still resentful and wanted to get back at him. It seems that he was merely trying to play with you, but now he treats you well, which makes you feel like you're in a difficult situation and you don't want to hurt him. From this description, it can be seen that you are not very old. From the perspective of the description, this is the most typical emotion of adolescent possessiveness. This is a more popular emotional game. Because of the hurt he once caused, you are reuniting with him out of a desire for revenge. This is a taboo in relationships. Your behavior is very similar to the couple in "Ex-File 2: The Backup Strikes Back." Although it can be cultivated, cultivating a relationship with an ulterior motive will destroy the trust that has been built.

Secondly, your description states that the individual in question is currently behaving in a serious manner and treating you well. Despite this, you express happiness on the surface, but inside you are unhappy. You state that you are happy that you won, but that there is no longer that kind of sincere, heartfelt joy. You also say that spending time with him is not as comfortable or natural as it used to be. Furthermore, you say that your indifference made him feel insecure. A similar description can be found in "Ex-File 2: The Backup Strikes Back." It is important to note that the description in the movie can only be imagined, and it is difficult to achieve in reality. However, this kind of "game" is not uncommon in reality, because people are unwilling to admit defeat. For many young people, the most common emotional psychology is: If I like you, you should like me back.

This has also resulted in two other prevalent emotional states. One is the perception that if one is ignored, one will become unattainable in the future.

Secondly, the two individuals who have terminated the relationship must appear more favourable than they did when they were together when they meet again. How can trust be established if such a mentality is formed?

In your description, you indicated that you are unable to regain the level of emotional investment you had in the relationship. While your partner has a sense of need for you, you do not have a similar sense of need for him. This creates a constant internal conflict between the desire to end the relationship and the desire to remain together. Ultimately, the decision to end the relationship is up to you. However, if you are unable to adjust your mindset, this emotional state will not only negatively impact you but also the other person involved. While I will not delve into the potential harm to the other person, it is clear that you will miss out on opportunities with other individuals who could potentially become your partner. Whether this is a positive or negative outcome depends on your own judgment.

The following advice is provided for your consideration:

1. Conduct an examination of your own psychology and your true feelings about this relationship. If you are not motivated by revenge, you should have a clear understanding of the choice you should make.

2. What is your objective? If your goal is simply to maintain a relationship, that is acceptable. However, if you wish to pursue marriage, it would be prudent to reconsider the viability of this relationship.

3. A change in approach that is not aligned with a clear goal is counterproductive. It is essential to promptly examine your emotional problems. Procrastination is the biggest obstacle at this time. It is crucial to address it immediately.

4. Should you require assistance in identifying your thought processes, you may wish to consult with a professional counselor for an analysis.

The aforementioned content is for reference only.

Dear Questioner, Dealing with such an emotional dilemma is tough. Here are some tips to help you sort things out and make the best decision for yourself:

Think about why you wanted to get back at him and what you feel now.

Do you still like him? Or are you just happy he's treating you well?

Knowing what you want will help you make good choices.

Communication is key. Talk to your partner about your feelings and concerns.

Talking can help you improve your relationship or make you feel more comfortable.

Seek professional help if you need it.

Don't let the past affect the future. He's treating you well now, so let go of the resentment and pain of the past. Be open-minded about the present and the future.

If you can't let go of the past, it will take time.

Respect your feelings. Make decisions based on your own feelings and needs. Don't make choices to please others or out of a desire for revenge.

Your happiness matters most.

Make your decision based on a responsible attitude towards yourself and the other person. There are no absolute answers to emotional problems.

We hope these tips help.

Hello, I'm ZQ, a heart exploration coach from the Yixinli platform. Maybe you didn't love each other at first, but maybe you liked each other. Maybe this was your relationship with your boyfriend. Maybe he didn't like you at first, but then he saw some good things in you.

You're good, so I'm getting back together with you. But you don't love him. You're getting back together with him to get back at him. You don't need him. This kind of need allows each person to better accompany the other.

If you don't have many demands on this person, the relationship may have been unbalanced from the beginning. Your boyfriend treats you well, but his feelings for you may be deeper than yours for him. You won't be comfortable in this relationship.

You'll feel guilty because you have mixed emotions. You're torn between guilt, the desire for someone to take care of you, and hatred.

You want to break up but also try to work things out.

If you want to work things out, how long should you give each other? One month? Two months? You might like him more than you think.

You need to figure out why he said he couldn't like you and then asked you to get back together. You must know the reason, or you won't be able to move on.

There may be some misunderstandings. Why did he say he didn't like you at first, and then ask for a reunion? This is not made clear in the description.

Ask him why he said he didn't like you at first and why he wanted to get back together. This will help you feel better.

This will make things more complicated and make it harder to get along with him. Love is supposed to make things easier and bring joy. If you really like someone, you will want to share things with them.

If you don't have any needs for him, you're not in love with him yet.

You need to untie your own knots, figure out why you were rejected, and review what really happened.

Then you can decide whether to hold a grudge or fall in love again. Love is uncertain because both people have ideas. You can find your place in this love and become more mature.

ZQ?

Dear Question Asker, Thank you for your inquiry.

It appears that the relationship was not founded on mutual attraction, but rather on a competitive dynamic. In this context, you initially emerged as the dominant party, but it seems to diverge from the type of relationship you desire, leaving you somewhat uncertain.

His rejection was a significant source of distress.

He previously stated that he did not like you, which constituted a complete rejection. This was the person you liked. Even if you were to reconcile later, you would doubt his sincerity and lack of commitment.

The ability of the two parties to develop a deeper relationship is contingent upon the establishment of trust.

Please explain why he returned to you at a later point in time. He was notably kind and concerned, a stark contrast to his previous demeanor. It is essential to understand the reasons behind his actions.

I am confident that you are aware of this.

You subsequently agreed to resume your relationship, but this was not motivated by genuine affection. Instead, it was driven by a sense of spite and a desire to prove your self-worth.

Therefore, it can be concluded that the initial feelings of love have dissipated.

If you no longer love him, it would be irresponsible of you to remain in a relationship with someone you no longer love. It would also be disrespectful to your own feelings. This is not an indication of self-love.

Place trust in your own intuition and feelings.

You should already have made a decision as to whether you wish to proceed with him.

He has hurt you before, saying that he doesn't like you. This was undoubtedly a heavy blow to you. Such an experience has made you resentful, and your feelings for him have become complicated and entangled.

A few months later, he approached you with the hope of getting back together, and you, overcome by resentment and a desire for revenge, agreed. But now you find yourself in a dilemma. His kindness makes you waver, but you know the scars of the past are a constant reminder of his indifference.

First, we must understand the hatred in your heart. This hatred may result from the harm he has done to you or from your inability to accept his rejection and subsequent damage to your self-esteem.

In either case, hatred is a heavy burden that drains you of energy and risks dragging you deeper and deeper into the maelstrom of emotions. You must examine your heart and mind to find out where this hatred comes from and whether it is worth carrying on.

If he has really hurt you, your hatred may be a kind of instinct for self-protection. However, hatred will not solve the problem. It will only plunge you into endless suffering.

You must learn to let go of the past and come out of the shadows. This does not mean forgiving his wrongdoings; it means learning to let go and free your mind.

In the second case, his rejection may have caused you to feel a sense of self-esteem frustration, which in turn has led to hatred. But you need to understand that everyone has the right to choose their own emotions, and just because he doesn't like you doesn't mean there's something wrong with you.

You must accept this fact and learn to grow from it. Don't let other people's choices become a stumbling block to your self-esteem. Instead, learn to draw lessons from your failures and improve yourself.

Now, let's analyze your relationship with him. You mentioned that he treats you well, which makes you happy, but also a little uneasy.

Your unease may be rooted in your trust in him and your confusion about your own feelings. You want to enjoy his kindness, but you can't forget the pain of the past. This conflict makes you vacillate between love and hate.

You need to calm down and think carefully about your feelings. Ask yourself: Do you really like him?

Or are you just dependent on him because he is so nice? Do you truly love him, or do you just want to get back at someone?

You must face these questions because they are related to your future and happiness.

If you still can't get over the past hurt or if your feelings for him aren't deep, then breaking up is the best choice. It'll hurt for a while, but in the long run, it's a more responsible decision for both of you.

Tell him how you feel, let him know what you think, and find a peaceful way to break up.

If you find that your feelings for him are getting stronger, then you should give him a chance and give yourself a chance too. But you need to make sure you can let go of the past hurts and rebuild your trust in him first.

Spend some quality time with him to get to know each other better. And learn to protect yourself. Don't give in to everything just because you like someone.

You must trust your feelings and judgments, no matter what decision you make. Don't go against your heart just to please others or pursue a certain outcome.

Your happiness is the most important thing, and you alone get to decide your own future. So, face your feelings bravely and make the choice that is best for you.

Hello, dear question asker!

After reading your question, I can see that you're feeling a bit confused and conflicted. I'm here for you, and I'm sending you lots of hugs!

It's totally normal to feel all these different emotions right now. When your boyfriend broke up with you and then asked you to get back together, you got back together with a sense of revenge, but then you discovered his true feelings for you. This change may have caught you off guard and even caused you to doubt whether to continue the relationship.

It's so important to remember that our emotions can be complex and changeable. We've all been there! Both of you have experienced ups and downs during the breakup and reconciliation process.

It's totally normal to feel a bit revengeful after a breakup. It's only natural to feel hurt and dissatisfied. And it's really sweet that he's being so sincere now. It's probably a reflection of him realizing how important you are to him and how much he's learned from the breakup.

Second, a relationship after a breakup often comes with a certain degree of sensitivity and vulnerability. It's really important to take some time to think about whether you've fully recovered from previous hurts and whether you feel confident and able to rebuild the relationship.

It's also important to think about whether he really gets the problem and is willing to make changes and put in the effort for the relationship.

Furthermore, your current indecision may come from feeling unsure about the future and having a general idea of your own emotions, but not a super clear picture. Before making a decision, you can try to figure out what you need and what you're hoping for through some self-reflection and communication.

Take a moment to ask yourself what you really want. Do you want to continue the relationship and work hard to make it work, or do you want to end it and explore new possibilities?

And finally, remember to respect your own feelings and needs. It's okay to listen to your inner voice, even if he's showing his true feelings now.

You've got this! When you truly understand your own needs and expectations and are convinced that this relationship can bring you happiness and satisfaction, you'll make the wisest decision.

I truly believe you can face this situation with your own wisdom, seek multiple ways to get yourself through this difficult situation, and make a decision based on your actual situation and feelings. Whatever you choose to do, I know you'll make the right decision for you. And I know you'll believe in your choice and face the future with courage.

Come on, you can do it! The world and I love you!

Hello, question asker. I can see that you're feeling a bit confused. It's natural to want to understand why your boyfriend treats you well, even though you're still considering leaving him.

When you are with your boyfriend, you may feel the need to get back at him because you are angry. This could be perceived as a form of punishment for the harm you believe he has done to you. It's not clear to me whether you truly like him or not. It's possible that you may be seeking reassurance from someone who is kind to you, which is something many people desire, unless they don't love you.

You say that you don't feel happy with the other person, that it's not comfortable or natural. This situation also requires some reflection on the part of the questioner. Is it because you still resent the other person? Or is it because you simply don't like the other person?

You say you find yourself caught between the desire to break up and the desire to stay together, and you're unsure of the best course of action.

Then the questioner can try to distinguish between their own emotions towards the other person, as these can change with their inner feelings. Just as some people think that they deeply love someone and can do anything for the other person, it may be helpful to consider that this may not necessarily be love, but rather an obsession. That is why I said that this example is intended to help the questioner distinguish.

Your heart is a reliable guide, so it's important to listen to your feelings. The choice to break up or stay together is yours. Sometimes, moving on is the best choice for both of you in the long run. And sometimes, staying together is the best path forward for your future.

I hope the questioner can find clarity soon. In my heart, the world and I love you ??

Hello! I'm a heart exploration coach, and I'm here to help you on your journey to a happier, more fulfilling life. Life is a beautiful thing, and it's meant to be appreciated and celebrated.

After listening to your emotional story and feeling your complex feelings, I tried to sort out what you have experienced in this relationship: giving your heart, getting close to the other person – being hurt, feeling resentment – accepting a reconciliation, only for the sake of revenge – feeling love, but not happiness – unable to let go, unable to let go. And now, you have the opportunity to make a change!

The law of conservation of energy is a fascinating concept! It basically says that the more you love, the more you hate.

The law of conservation of energy is a fantastic principle! It says that if you love more, you'll hate less. If you're grateful, you'll complain less. And if you're happy, you'll be sad less.

You have invested real emotions in this relationship, and it has all been worth it! Sure, you have been hurt by the other person, but you have also learned a lot about yourself and about relationships. "I don't like it" has taken root deep in your heart, but it has also made you stronger.

You don't know the context, the tone of voice, the expression on his face, or the emotions he was feeling when he said those words. In other words, we express ourselves not only with words, but also with facial expressions and intonation—and it's a beautiful thing!

And it is also impossible to separate it from the context of the situation, which is great because it means we can tailor our responses to suit the circumstances.

Just as in real life, many couples want a divorce as soon as they have a fight. But do they really want a divorce? Absolutely not!

Men and women who are in the heat of the moment focus more on their own feelings and neglect the relationship and the other person.

It's time to switch gears and start thinking with our hearts! When we argue, we often forget to put ourselves in the other person's shoes. Instead, we get caught up in proving that we're right. But there's a better way! Let's start using our hearts to guide our arguments. Let's use rational thinking and judgment, but let's also let our hearts lead the way.

We all want to win an argument and keep our relationships strong! So, if you accept the other person's reconciliation, it's because you feel their kindness and deep love for you. You can't "go back" because you've found a new path that's even better!

Your heart is filled with hatred, and it's ready to embrace love again!

2. Let go of those obsessions and get ready to fall in love all over again!

The "cognitive triangle" is a fascinating concept that reveals how our emotions are shaped by our perceptions, which in turn influence our actions. Let's consider an example. If you perceive that "I want to get back at him/I can't give my true feelings," your emotional experience will likely be anger, resentment, and hatred. This perception will then manifest in your actions as resistance, avoidance, pretense, concealment, and suppression.

You feel love and want to be intimate, which is great! But this realization makes you want to resist the other person and reject his love. This is why you are "jumping around": sometimes you want to break up, and sometimes you want to be together.

You feel hurt, but that's just a feeling, not necessarily the truth. The good news is that you can choose to let go of the suppressed emotions like anger, a sense of being hurt, and helplessness.

It's so important to be aware of the difference between feeling hurt and feeling really hurt. When we feel really hurt in an intimate relationship, it's often because we're longing for emotional needs that we didn't get from our parents, which caused us psychological pain back then.

You're longing for attention, affirmation, acceptance, and recognition!

There's absolutely no need to force yourself to accept the relationship immediately or to insist on breaking up! Give yourself, the other person, and each other a chance to feel with your hearts, not your minds.

During this time, just enjoy each other's company and see where it leads! When the time comes, your heart will naturally tell you the answer: whether to continue together or to break up.

I really hope the above is helpful to you, and I love you and the world!

If you want to keep in touch, you should definitely check out my personal homepage, "Heart Exploration Service"!

Hello, question asker! I'm stuck between breaking up and staying together. What should I do?

You need to clarify your own feelings and follow your heart.

Falling in love is about finding a kindred spirit. It's simple. Just like someone who likes apples looks for apples, or someone who likes plums looks for plums. It's common for someone to close their eyes and like apples but mistake plums. They find plums and realize they like apples.

It's a fact that breaking up hurts both sides, especially the one who gets broken up with. They often think it's a failure and fall into a state of self-doubt and constant rumination. Sometimes this kind of hurt can exist quietly without being noticed, but it's only when it's triggered that you realize the pain has actually been there the whole time.

In our subconscious, we are waiting for an opportunity to reconcile with ourselves, just like you. This is normal. We need to do some healing and let go.

You broke up because of the hurt he caused you. When he proposed, you agreed to it, but you were reluctant.

Tell me why he asked you to get back together. Do you agree with it?

You need to ask yourself: is the only reason you're taking him back "revenge" on him? And deep down, do you still want to be with him?

He treats you well and provides you with great emotional satisfaction, but you still don't like him. He's not the apple or plum you like and are sure is the one.

You think he is suffering from your indifference, that he has a need for you but you don't. Is this what you think, or is it because you think "you have won"? Or does he feel it?

You can't go back to the past, and you can't respond. But you know what? That's okay. The fact is that you're not being honest with him. Are you unsure of his feelings for you? Do you lack a sense of security and fear being hurt again?

Asking ourselves these questions and answering them honestly will reveal our true feelings.

True love can make people cross thousands of mountains and rivers, and it can also make people let go of the past. Listen to the most authentic voice in your heart, be true to yourself, love apples or love plums, just love them well. The most important thing is that both parties are happy.