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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
Hello! I'll give you a warm hug from afar!
I'm thrilled to see that you've asked for help! I'm here to support you and I'm excited to share some tips that I think will be really helpful. From your description, I can tell that you care a lot about this friend. It's clear that you have a strong connection with her and that you want to be important in her life.
I'd love to know your thoughts on this!
She gets angry easily when she is with the opposite sex, and doesn't feel or experience much love. This shows that she has too many expectations of the relationship and her boyfriend, and that these expectations may be rooted in a sense of loss and deprivation from her upbringing. When she is not aware of this part of herself, she is unable to try to give herself the responses and satisfaction she needs through her own learning and growth. Instead, she brings this sense of deprivation into the relationship, and expects the other person to naturally provide her with the responses and satisfaction she needs. If the other person fails to do so, she feels that they don't love her. But here's the good news! She can change all of this. She can learn to give herself the responses and satisfaction she needs through her own learning and growth. She can stop bringing this sense of deprivation into the relationship and expecting the other person to naturally provide her with the responses and satisfaction she needs. If the other person fails to do so, she can choose to feel that they love her anyway.
This is also the key to her extreme grievances and anger caused by too much frustration and loss in intimate relationships – and it's an exciting opportunity for her to learn and grow!
This is a great opportunity for her to actively perceive and heal this part on her own. When he is able to express this part to you, it shows that he is aware of his tendency to get angry when interacting with the opposite sex. She may lack the ways and methods to better change this state, but with your support, she can do it!
You can give her more company and listen to her while guiding her to realize that emotions are neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. Behind any emotion is a hidden unmet need that has not been seen, responded to, or fulfilled. Therefore, she needs to be aware of what that unmet need is behind her emotional state of anger, and then try to express her emotions actively, rather than emotionally. Guiding her to realize this is an amazing opportunity for you!
At the same time, she has the amazing opportunity to consciously learn and grow to give herself this part of the response and satisfaction she needs. In an intimate relationship, the fact that the other person can give her the response and satisfaction she lacks is a favor, not a duty.
I highly recommend that she read "Will it get better when I grow up?"
I'm Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum! The world and I love you!
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Comments
I wonder if maybe he feels threatened or competitive when playing with other men, which could explain the anger. It's complex and might not be about love at all.
Perhaps he has some unresolved issues or past experiences that trigger his anger during those moments, and it doesn't necessarily reflect the depth of his feelings.
It sounds like there might be a lack of emotional connection in his actions. Sometimes people project their own insecurities onto situations, leading to unexpected reactions.
Maybe he's just really passionate about winning when he plays. Some people take games more seriously than others, and it's not always tied to how they feel in relationships.
Could it be that he struggles with managing his emotions generally? Not everyone expresses themselves well in highpressure or competitive settings, and it isn't indicative of his love.