Why not divorce if the husband falls in love with his close friend, is it for the children and maintaining family unity?

Question asker:

Hello! I must say, I'm quite overwhelmed when I hear about these things about you. Is this a difficult situation for you to handle?

I can only imagine how difficult and painful this must be for you!

From what you've told me, you're sure your husband is in love with his confidante. I'd like to know how you know that.

Did your husband come clean about this? When did this other woman come into his life?

Was it before or after your marriage? If it existed before the marriage, what made your husband choose to marry you?

If it happened after the wedding, you might want to think about whether you've overlooked something. How's your relationship and how do you usually get along?

And after the incident, you also made an effort to talk to your husband, which was really well done. He told you in person that he was in love with that person, but he wouldn't divorce you because he wanted to give the children a complete family.

Do you really think so? Is he prepared to continue with this arrangement?

And your husband said that even if the mistress gets a divorce, he won't divorce you. Does this mean that your husband has already weighed the situation more clearly? Are you really willing to accept this arrangement from your husband?

This isn't something you can solve overnight. You need to be prepared for it. It might take time and effort, and you might not be able to persevere. Your husband might come to his senses. Anything is possible.

So, what can you do next? Here are some personal thoughts for you to think about:

1. Figure out why you both don't want a divorce. Is it because the cost is too high?

2. Take control of the family finances to minimize your losses.

3. By ignoring the third party, you're making yourself look less valuable in comparison to her.

4. Agree with your husband that you're willing to give him time to work through it, but you have to be realistic about how long that will take.

5. Take some time for self-reflection, focus on your own thoughts and feelings, and learn to grow and enhance your personal charm.

6. Find your own support system, live your own life, and take care of your children.

7. If you don't want a divorce, you've got to stay calm and in control. That way, you'll be less likely to let the third party influence your family.

I hope my analysis is helpful to you. Best wishes! Thank you!

Hello, question asker!

It sounds like you are torn and suffering because your husband is in love with his confidante, right?

I don't know how long you've been married to your husband, but I'm excited to hear more about the foundation of your relationship!

Oh my goodness, what made your husband fall in love with the mistress?

What an intriguing question! How can you be so sure that your husband must have fallen in love with the mistress?

What if it's your subjective assumption?

It's clear to me that you're feeling some jealousy towards the mistress!

Because you said in your statement,

"I'm so happy that that woman has slept with several men, and I only have my husband."

Psychology has some fascinating insights to share about the female experience. It turns out that almost every woman is inherently insecure, and they all have an automatic thought verification process.

Once you suspect something, go for it! Try every means to confirm your suspicions.

Start working tirelessly to find evidence of the suspicion! In fact, run your marriage and maintain your own feelings.

Absolutely not! You should definitely not investigate him like a police officer looking for clues.

The wife needs to have a forgiving heart. As long as you live in China,

Embrace Chinese cultural ethics!

So when your husband encounters a similar problem, please be sure to adjust your mindset and

Don't jump to conclusions! It's not easy to determine whether your husband has cheated or if a third party is involved.

In short, you should absolutely, 100% trust your husband!

So, what should you do if your husband has really cheated and is having an affair with his female confidante?

It all depends on whether you want to end the marriage or save it! If you choose the latter,

Keep up the great work! Stay gentle and caring, and keep fulfilling your duties and obligations as a wife.

While your husband continues his extramarital affair with a sense of guilt. Once the novelty wears off,

You may want to consider returning! Of course, the wife should not just sit back and wait during this process.

You can lead your husband to reminisce about your courtship, or even go back to the place where you were once in love!

And then let him enjoy the happiness of a small family, etc. In short,

Don't take the initiative to pierce this layer of paper that protects your husband's self-esteem.

Guess what! Your man will choose to return to the right path under the pressure of guilt and a sense of morality.

If you want to save your marriage, don't resort to the tricks of a little woman!

You can even resort to all kinds of coercion and inducement to start controlling your man!

Or you could even try various exciting and seductive tactics to start controlling your man!

This can only result in a faster collapse of your marriage!

Just imagine that when your man first chose to marry you!

Guess what? You may have actually PKed your best friend out of the picture with all your advantages!

Your man may have considered it for a long time before deciding to make you his lifelong partner!

Your man's continued contact with his confidante shows that he's a good man!

And they may just become popular with other women! They may just be friends, as long as he doesn't develop from a confidant into a lover.

If there's no cheating, you can totally ignore it and even expand your social circle!

Don't focus on protecting your husband and marriage. Otherwise, you may backfire, but there's no need to worry!

But here's the best part: the worst thing that could happen is that they were just friends, and your fuss suddenly makes their relationship grow warmer!

And who knows—they might even develop an affair!

Now for a word of caution:

In fact, couples also need their own independent mental space. A husband's inner world is a treasure trove of experiences and emotions just waiting to be explored!

The various challenges of work, financial conflicts in the family, and conflicts of interest among friends—

Early, unspeakable emotional experiences!

He needs someone who is perfectly suited to understand and listen to him so he can release all that pent-up negative energy!

So a confidante can play a role that a wife cannot—and it's a great one!

I really hope this analysis and explanation helps you! I'm counselor Yao, and I'll be in touch!

Hello, question asker!

After reading your question, I can tell you're angry and confused. Let me be clear: do you think your husband is crazy for falling in love with such a woman?

Let's analyze this carefully and determine the best course of action.

1. You said your husband is in love with his close friend, and you have discussed this matter. It sounds like you discussed this matter when you were both in a stable emotional state.

I want to know what your husband gets from this "red-faced woman." Is it more understanding and care?

What else could he possibly want from this relationship? Sexual stimulation, perhaps?

He doesn't want to divorce you because he wants to keep the family together and give the children a complete home.

This is something he cares about!

2. The other person's marital status is clearly an "open" marriage that exists abroad. It's evident that the other person's husband is aware of her situation, yet he doesn't care. Did you hear this from your husband or did you find out for yourself?

I want to know if this is really the case.

3. Know what you want! So what is your attitude towards this matter?

You must decide whether you can accept this state of marriage. What is the purpose of your discussions with your husband?

You need to think about your boundaries and bottom line. If your husband can't accept your ideas, you need to decide what else you're going to do.

4. Marriage is a matter for two people, and you can and should assert your rights and interests in marriage! If your husband values stability, then let him think about who can provide him with this kind of complete and stable life.

That "red face" obviously can't provide it. You have the power to show him what you want, and you can talk to your husband about your feelings and thoughts, including your acceptance of the situation, your desire for a normal marital state, etc.

You must also consider what you will do if he refuses to separate from the other person.

5. Crying, making a scene, and self-harm are out. You need to establish your bottom line and boundaries and make yourself better so that he can only choose you if he has to choose between the two. This requires a woman's wisdom, and I know you've got it!

I hope this helps! Best wishes!