A high school girl in the second year has shown an increased tendency for cleanliness compulsion in the past month. How should one counsel her?

Reassure yourself that you are worried and anxious. As a parent, you have done a great job!

I think there are three fascinating reasons why she might have developed a clean freak complex!

First, the increased pace and intensity of learning, coupled with the repeated severity of the pandemic, has led to children becoming more aware of their protective requirements and feeling more fearful and anxious about the impact of the pandemic on their studies. This has resulted in such reactions, which is completely normal! These past three years have been very challenging for students facing the pressure of schoolwork and exams, but they have also been very rewarding.

Second, for a girl in her second year of adolescence, cleanliness may be related to the extent of her communication or interaction with the opposite sex. For example, if there are male classmates at school trying to get close to her, or if she has a preferred type, etc.

All kinds of possible contact and even internal communication impulses, coupled with external factors such as epidemic prevention, may cause this state.

Third, you might not know much about how her parents manage her education and learning, but you can still help! It's possible that you've been a bit too demanding or strict, which could have caused her to feel rebellious or anxious. But don't worry! You can easily fix this by communicating with her more carefully.

There are so many ways to keep her engaged! Try distracting her with other topics, like TV dramas or entertainment.

Finally, you can let her enjoy some outdoor exercise, keep her in a good mood, and not worry too much about whether she is clean and tidy. Just adjust slowly and she'll be back to her usual self in no time!

I'm sure it will get better gradually!

Greetings.

As a mother, I experience feelings of anxiety and worry when I observe my child's behavior diverging from what I perceive to be typical (on occasion, this may not truly represent a deviation, but rather a lack of comprehension on our part, leading us to perceive it as such). I believe this occurs with some frequency and represents a significant challenge for parents.

I frequently experience difficulties in maintaining patience with my children. However, upon losing my temper, I frequently regret my actions and am reluctant to engage in further communication in this manner. I am convinced that this approach is not only ineffective in assisting my children but also serves to exacerbate their unnecessary burdens and pressures, erode their trust in me, cause them distress, and damage the parent-child relationship.

It is unclear how you typically communicate with your daughter about her tendency to clean frequently. It is possible that you frequently express deep concerns about this behavior.

When parents are overly anxious and worried, they may unintentionally express their feelings in a way that is perceived as blaming or complaining. It is noteworthy that your observation of your daughter's increased cleaning behavior when she is being criticized suggests that she may be using this activity as a means of stress relief.

This is analogous to the experience of fatigue from work and the subsequent desire to lie down and watch television.

As for your daughter, you are in the best position to ascertain her specific reasons, feelings, and needs that contribute to her preoccupation with cleanliness. By relinquishing your concerns, you may gain greater insight and be better equipped to assist your daughter and address her genuine requirements.

As a mother, I wish to convey that regardless of the message one wishes to convey to one's child, if one approaches the situation with anxiety, worry, or even emotions like demands, complaints, or accusations, the result will undoubtedly be counterproductive. I have experienced this firsthand.

Such communication will result in feelings of physical and mental exhaustion, which will further distance the child from the parent.

However, how should one respond when a child's behavior indicates a clear state of distress, such as anxiety or anger? It is evident that neither the repression nor the immediate expression of such emotions is a constructive approach.

The suppression of emotions will inevitably result in their eruption, which will cause distress to both the parent and the child.

Prior to attaining a comprehensive understanding of one's emotions, acceptance of them, and effective management, it is possible to utilize a provisional measure. This entails abstaining from discussing the emotional situation with one's child when one is currently experiencing it.

One may opt to refrain from action, to withhold discussion and to avoid hasty attempts at self-reassurance. Instead, one may choose to simply allow a period of quietude to elapse.

It is also possible to retreat to one's room and engage in self-reflection, provided that one does not allow the child to overhear. With the passage of time, and a reduction in emotional intensity, a sense of direction will emerge.

It may appear that we are not providing assistance or guidance to our child and are not assisting them in resolving their issues. However, by doing so, we are, at the very least, not exacerbating their stress and burden. This can also be considered a significant benefit.

As parents, we experience feelings of concern and anxiety, and we are eager to provide assistance to our children. This is because we love our children and want them to overcome their problems. We would never want to increase the burden and pressure on our children.

In such instances, refraining from communicating with the child and refraining from offering corrective feedback represents the most effective means of safeguarding the child's well-being. It is essential to maintain self-control and to avoid exacerbating the situation. It is crucial to place unwavering trust in the child's capacity to navigate challenges through a process of trial and error.

This is a significant benefit for the child in question.

Furthermore, the act of taking this compromise step may have provided an opportunity for the parent to slow down and refrain from hastily attempting to resolve their child's issues. Instead, they have been afforded additional time to observe their child, which may have led to the recognition of previously unnoticed aspects of their daughter. This has potentially resulted in an increase in trust and relaxation within the parent-child relationship.

Previously, due to your anxiety, your attention was directed towards your daughter's cleaning behavior. At this juncture, it is recommended that you temporarily refrain from reacting, allowing a period of observation. It is postulated that both you and your daughter may experience an enhanced sense of spaciousness and relaxation. In this environment, it is anticipated that a greater capacity for understanding, wisdom, strength, and love will emerge in your hearts and in your daughter's, facilitating a progressive positive trajectory.

Should further exploration of the self be of interest, an investigation into whether anxieties and fears regarding one's daughter are related to one's own experiences of growing up may prove beneficial. Are concerns a true reflection of one's daughter's situation, or are they based on one's own imagination and projections?

The process of unblocking emotions, distinguishing between emotional states and boundaries, and assuming responsibility for one's emotional states can collectively contribute to the development of strength and serve as an exemplary model for one's daughter.

It is my hope that this information will prove useful to you. Sincerely,

Dear Question Asker, I am honored to answer your question. I appreciate the thoroughness of your description. Based on your account, I believe your daughter may have OCD. If feasible, you may wish to administer the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI) or the SCL90, a 90-item self-report symptom inventory, to your daughter. After the results become available, you can formulate a subsequent plan of action.

From a professional perspective, obsessive behavior can be attributed to a fixation during the anal-erotic period. Individuals with obsessive behavior often exhibit a preference for perfectionism and are subject to strict parental demands. The subject in question cleans the sofa in the house. Additionally, her cleanliness at home and her serious yoga indicate that she is attempting to isolate you from control by cleaning her clothes, sofa, arms, etc. This behavior serves to draw a line between you. Her cleaning behavior can be seen as a means of replacing the behavior of isolating herself from you. In essence, her cleaning behavior allows her to exert control over her own body. This may also reduce the physical and even psychological connection with you. Her cleaning behavior can be viewed as a manifestation of a deep desire for physical independence and a display of psychological independence.

It would be beneficial to reduce one's attention on the subject and observe whether a decrease in obsessive-compulsive behavior would occur. Should it be impractical to intervene, it would be advisable to consult with a professional to facilitate psychological counseling, with the objective of reducing the frequency of the subject's cleaning behavior.

I am gratified to have been selected as a date in 1983. The world and I are in mutual admiration.

Good day. I am a mental health counselor at the national level.

I have taken the time to carefully read your account.

From what you have shared, it seems that you are feeling some concern about your daughter's increased tendency towards cleanliness over the past month. It also seems that you are a very attentive mother and have noticed these changes.

I believe that the measures you have taken regarding your daughter's tendency towards cleanliness are commendable. It seems that you have been reminding and persuading her when the frequency of discovery is too high, and she was also able to restrain herself in the third year of junior high school.

Since the start of the school year in March, there has been a noticeable increase in her obsessive-compulsive tendencies when she returns home at the weekends. Recently, the situation has become more challenging due to the introduction of online classes as part of the static control measures during the epidemic.

Despite my best efforts, I haven't been able to make a difference.

My daughter is currently in her second year of high school. She developed a tendency towards cleanliness in her third year of junior high school, which has been going on for almost three years. Have you ever considered what might have caused her to develop this tendency? And what might have caused it to become more and more serious?

It seems that you may have also noticed that when she is accused of being in a bad mood, her tendency to be a neat freak increases. This could be an important discovery. It might be worth considering whether she is resolving her stress and negative emotions through the act of "wiping."

It might be helpful to consider taking the child for psychological counseling at an early stage and discussing the situation with the counselor in more detail.

I hope you find the above content helpful. Please do not hesitate to leave a message if you would like to discuss further.

It is possible that if you isolate some of your negative emotions through certain obsessive-compulsive behaviors, it may result in these behaviors becoming more pronounced, which could potentially impact your physical health. Additionally, it is important to consider that those negative feelings from the past may still be present and require resolution.

It might be helpful to consider that your high school girl could be at risk of developing a tendency towards cleanliness. You have been aware of her tendency to be a clean freak for two years, and perhaps it was quite normal before, but it could be that this behaviour may become more intense, transforming from a normal cleaning frequency to an excessive frequency.

It might be helpful to try to persuade her when you notice it, because children's behavior often benefits from guidance from adults on many levels. It's also worth noting that after staying in high school, the child may have some different psychological levels and have a lot of different experiences.

Her grades have improved and are now above average, which is certainly worth celebrating. Having such a foundation in place actually bodes well for her future development. It's possible that something happened during the winter vacation that made her feel very uncomfortable. It's also possible that it was when some negative emotions increased that she became very uncomfortable.

It might be helpful to consider allowing this tendency towards cleanliness to take over as a way of isolating certain emotions or counteracting them. In fact, it's still important to face our emotions head-on. Because of the pandemic, children have to stay at home and take online classes, which can make them feel tired and uncomfortable.

Given the many negative characteristics that emotions can have, it would be beneficial to try to alleviate this obsessive-compulsive disorder. This could be done by understanding her emotional changes, allowing her some personal space, and ensuring she gets enough rest. If possible, it might also be helpful to seek psychological counseling to help her relieve her inner discomfort. Good luck!

Could I ask you a question, ZQ?

Hello,

Your daughter's cleaning behavior is affecting her physical health. I understand your concerns as a mother, and I am here to help. Every parent has a heart of gold.

This year, during the Spring Festival and winter vacation, I have noticed that my tendency to be a neat freak has increased, especially when I am accused of being in a bad mood.

1) Persuasion is not accepting the child's presentation. It's an accusation, which is useless and may cause the child to develop negative emotions.

2) Your child is in this situation more often when she is in a negative mood. You need to pay attention to what events make her feel negative. Is it schoolwork?

If you can identify a pattern, take good care of your child and help him stabilize his emotions.

3) Obsessive behavior is a defense mechanism that relieves deep-seated anxiety through a certain behavior. Think back to whether anything in particular happened during your child's junior high school years.

Have a frank and calm chat with your child to find the source of the anxiety. For example, is it excessive pressure to study?

You love your child very much, so be patient and understanding. Accept your child for who they are. Read some books on emotional management or find a professional counselor to help you understand the root of the problem.

I am certain that with your careful company, she will change.

My name is Wen Jun.

Hello! I'm sending you a warm hug from afar.

As a mother, you can recognize the anxiety and unease you feel when your child procrastinates or exhibits obsessive behavior.

Your description makes it clear that you believe some of your child's behaviors have had a significant impact on his learning and daily life. You are hoping that your child will make changes as a result.

The child's reactions and state clearly indicate that his learning and life have not been negatively affected. The child does not believe that his current behavior, which you perceive as "obsessive-compulsive," will have a negative impact on his learning and life. In fact, he is more willing to embrace this state of mind.

A person must first recognize that certain behaviors and emotional states are causing them pain and hindering their ability to adapt. They must then be willing to make changes. When this happens, the motivation for change will come from within, and the potential for real change is high. After all, change is a personal choice and decision.

Second, if the change is an external expectation or demand, the person involved must feel fully accepted, understood, and affirmed by others, not rejected or blamed. The child should know he is good enough and fully accepted by his mother. If he is willing to try to change, he can be even better and more outstanding. Whether or not he needs to change is his choice, not to satisfy his mother's expectations. Be aware of whether what you convey to your child is acceptance or a sense of dislike and rejection. This makes him feel terrible in your eyes, that you don't like this side of yourself, and that he needs to change.

You must be aware of whose perspective you are interpreting your child's behavior from when you see it. Does your child's behavior trigger some traumatic experience from your early years, leaving you plagued by anxiety and unease, unable to empathize with your child's behavior from their perspective?

You must respond to your own anxiety and unease through your own efforts, rather than projecting them onto your child. Record your emotional feelings in an emotional diary. This will help you perceive and understand your emotions better. It will also help you connect with your inner self, cultivate the ability to self-reflect, and care for yourself.

Listen to your inner voice. Respond to yourself and your children with your love. Be a non-anxious mother.

The world and I love you!

This process will require an investment of time. It is my observation that children exhibit obsessive-compulsive tendencies and a proclivity for cleanliness, which necessitates a degree of patience on the part of parents.

Additionally, there are matters pertaining to the onset of puberty. This is a document I composed for my son at the time; it can be consulted for reference.

When he was 18, Dad was studying at Xingyang No. 2 High School, just like you. You have numerous areas of common ground with Dad, including chemical reaction equations, mathematical equations, and physical theories. He is adept at responding promptly and addressing the core issues.

In terms of liberal arts, your father will have more experience of an idyllic life than you and will be relatively more perceptive. He also chose the science track, but his liberal arts have always been quite good, with the exception of "politics." He has easily mastered all the other liberal arts subjects and ranked among the best. As for personality, your father is a freedom-loving, face-saving, quiet-loving, and justice-conscious man. Times have changed, and your outlook on life and the world, and your values, are inseparable from this era. This may be one reason for the frequent arguments between you and your father.

The times have changed, and the era that the father in question belonged to is now a thing of the past. It is inevitable that on occasion, the father will act in a way that is similar to a man who cuts off the boat to find the sword. It is important to note that while all individuals possess principles, the standards and bottom lines of these principles may differ from one person to another. It is my hope that we can understand and tolerate each other despite these differences.

I wish you the best of success in assisting your child in successfully navigating the adolescent years.