Hello, host! I'm July.
I understand your question, and I'm here to help. Let's work through this together.
From your description, it's clear that you're in a forced situation. You said you repeatedly check things before going out, even though you've done so many times. You still feel there's something wrong. You also feel the whole world is dirty. When you get home, you desperately try to wash away the dirt you encounter to relieve your anxiety.
Let's start with the basics: OCD is characterized by obsessive thoughts, compulsive urges, or compulsive behaviors.
Let me be clear: your obsessive thoughts can be understood in this way. Take the example of repeatedly checking to see if the door is locked before you leave the house. This clearly shows how your obsessive thoughts work. You think that if you don't lock the door, a thief will break in or something bad will happen. So you keep thinking this way, to the point where you keep checking to see if the door is locked.
You are compelled to repeatedly check whether the door is closed properly to reduce your anxiety through behavior.
You know the above-mentioned thoughts and behaviors are unnecessary and abnormal. You know you're acting against your own will, but you can't stop them. They make you feel deeply anxious and painful.
I have also summarized ways to help alleviate the situation. I am confident that these will help you.
(1) Relax, take things slowly, and don't put too much pressure on yourself. You're doing great, so don't make it harder on yourself.
(2) Talk about your thoughts and feelings with a close friend or family member. This will help you release your emotions rather than suppressing them.
(3) If conditions permit, seek professional psychological help, rather than resisting psychotherapy. People can get sick not only physically but also mentally. Don't be overly concerned about worldly thoughts. Use yourself as a starting point to help yourself.
(4) You can relieve your anxiety and tension through relaxation therapies like deep breathing and meditation.
(5) You can reduce your obsessive behavior through specific methods. Set rules to limit your obsessive thoughts and behaviors. For example, at first, you can only check the door lock three times, and then reduce the number of times after a certain period of time, so as to reduce the impact of obsessive thoughts on yourself.
(6) Give yourself positive self-suggestions instead of indulging in compulsive thoughts and behaviors.
The world and I love you.
Take care.


Comments
I understand how troubling these feelings can be. It sounds like you might be dealing with obsessivecompulsive disorder, where intrusive thoughts lead to repetitive behaviors. Seeking help from a mental health professional could provide strategies to manage these feelings and improve your quality of life.
It seems like you're experiencing a lot of anxiety and fear about contamination. This is affecting your daily routine and work. It's important to reach out for support; talking to a therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders might really benefit you in finding ways to cope.
Your description suggests that you may be suffering from OCD, characterized by persistent, unwanted thoughts and compulsions to do certain rituals. You don't have to go through this alone. Professional guidance can offer relief and tools to handle these compulsions more effectively.
The way you describe your concerns about dirtiness and interactions with others points towards symptoms of OCD. This condition can be managed with the right treatment, including therapy and sometimes medication. Reaching out for professional help is a brave step towards feeling better and regaining control over your life.