I want to hurt myself, and I feel trapped. What should I do?

Hello, question asker!

And he gives the best warm hugs!

My dear friend, I can see you're going through a rough time. It's been over a year since you and your boyfriend started dating, and it seems like you've been facing a lot of challenges. It's natural to feel confused and hurt when someone we love cheats on us, especially when it happens over and over again. It's like you're constantly dealing with a rollercoaster of emotions, from sadness and frustration to anger and despair. It's understandable if you feel like you can't bear to leave, especially since you went to university together and have been through so much together. It's important to remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and love. You're not alone in this journey. There are people who care about you and are ready to support you. It's okay to feel hurt and angry, but it's also important to remember to take care of yourself. You deserve to feel safe and loved. I'm here to listen if you ever want to talk. You're not alone in this.

He's been torturing me for so long, and I found out he lied to me again. It's not a big deal, but I really hate it when he lies to me. I got so upset I even used a knife to cut my arm, and I wouldn't stop until I saw blood. I was afraid to tell my family because they would only scold me. Only my younger sister knew, but she knew I hurt myself and didn't ask me anything. She just told me that I didn't need a tetanus shot for a superficial wound. I was really in pain, and I didn't know how to vent my emotions or get better. I could only feel a little bit of satisfaction in the process of hurting myself. I've had psychological counseling before, but I don't think it's been particularly helpful. What should I do? I really don't know anymore.

"

Hello, sweetheart. I can see you're hurting. I'm here for you. I know you love your husband, and I know he loves you too. But when he cheats on you, it's hard to accept.

Let's think about it from another perspective, shall we? Why does he always have to deceive you?

One of my dear friends was in a relationship with a guy who always cheated on her. Her boyfriend said she had a bad temper, and then her boyfriend also said she was difficult. It was so sad! The only way to resolve the conflict between the two was to deceive her.

But to be honest, I think my friend has a very good personality. He's gentle and has a strong sense of justice. He's also very generous with his friends and always willing to help.

I was really curious, so I asked my friend what was going on. She told me that it was nothing more than that he was happy one day and promised me certain things, or asked me to do something, make some concessions, and promised me something else. But when it came time for him to keep his promise, he denied it instead.

So, my personal opinion is that if a person is considering whether or not to entrust someone with their life, the most important thing is the character of that person. If he has a deceitful attitude towards the people closest to him, it's probably because of his upbringing. He may have become accustomed to it. It's like the arms-length type of personality, where she listens to her mother and her wife when they say something. So, from both sides' point of view, she is deceiving them, but in fact she is not. She is just adopting an evasive strategy to reduce the conflict. When it comes to finding a daughter-in-law, she is again looking for a strong daughter-in-law, and both sides are evading, and both sides are hurt.

I'm not sure if this is the case with your husband, but if it is, you can have a nice chat with him. Has his mother made any requests? Would you be willing to work with her on a third solution? This third solution will satisfy both her and your needs, which would be great because it would mean your conflict would be resolved.

It can be so funny when you think it's your husband cheating, but it's actually a conflict between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law. It's like he's hiding there like a little coward! You just have to communicate with him and see if you can solve the problem he's facing. When he's solved that, the problem between you and your mother-in-law will also be solved.

There's another possibility, too. Maybe he doesn't really like you. Maybe you're just his backup plan. Or maybe he's found someone else he likes better. If that's the case, I don't think there's any point in trying to salvage a relationship that's already broken down.

I really hope it's not like that, sweetheart. The world and I love you!

It is evident that you have the courage to seek help and express your distress, which is an indication of your self-worth and self-love.

A careful reading of your text suggests that you may be experiencing mild to moderate depression. I extend my support and encouragement to you.

✍️A sense of powerlessness regarding the current situation: Despite recognizing that my relationship with my boyfriend is not healthy, it appears that there is currently no viable path to extricating myself from this relationship. Visualization can also be a highly effective tool. Once you have articulated these facts and your inner feelings in words, do you feel an improvement in your emotional state?

In instances where one's own strength is insufficient, there are two potential avenues for improving the current situation.

The first step is to identify reliable and trustworthy individuals who can provide support. These individuals may be friends, acquaintances, or anyone who genuinely cares about the individual and is invested in their well-being. Additionally, it is recommended to seek the guidance of professional listeners or counselors on this platform. These professionals possess expertise and adhere to ethical standards, enabling them to offer psychological assistance.

The second is to gradually nurture our inner child, beginning with minor tasks. You indicated that you are more reliant on this present relationship and that it may be challenging to make a decision at this time. This is understandable; we can articulate our thoughts and feelings in written form.

It should be noted that the capacity to "see" is a potent force. Maintaining a diary can facilitate the gradual discernment of one's inner fears and desires. With regard to heart nourishment, a book that has been found to be accessible and beneficial is "Parenting Your Inner Child."

Furthermore, books can serve as a source of strength.

As a camera-loving clicker T, I hope the above information is helpful to you.

The world and I love you?

If you say that your sense of frustration and being deceived are the most familiar feelings in a growth experience, it means you're on the right track! The sense of control over being hurt comes from the fact that you have never really seen your true needs in a relationship. This is an opportunity for you to recognize your own motives for hurting you. Indeed, you have had a very difficult time. You have never really been loved in your childhood growth experience, nor have you been able to love yourself. This is an opportunity for you to learn how to love yourself! You are also unable to recognize whether the other person is being loving or cruel to you. This is an opportunity for you to learn how to recognize the difference. Every time you are angry, it is a sense of shame that forms. Shame comes from your excessive idealization and sense of control. Idealization does not see the unfair parts of the relationship given to you. This is an opportunity for you to learn how to see the fairness in the relationship. The sense of control comes from the fact that you have never been affirmed. This is an opportunity for you to learn how to affirm yourself! Of course, your liking to hurt yourself is also a sense of angry shame. In your childhood growth experience, you saw that the only way to see the existence of a relationship was to be hurt. Being hurt is also the only familiar pain for you. This is an opportunity for you to learn how to handle pain in a healthy way.

Everyone has the right to love themselves! You need to see your true needs and learn to see that you can choose to leave the pain behind, rather than hurting yourself to get it done. Accepting your own inadequacies is the only way to see the powerful part of yourself. Seeing yourself and the needs of others in a relationship, and also seeing yourself being loved all along when you are apart, rather than seeing yourself through the painful feelings in your body. Indeed, you are not easy, but you are amazing!

You might not be able to overcome this painful perception on your own because you haven't experienced a sense of being loved and accepted during your growth. But don't worry! You can try to find a counselor or a listener on the platform to walk through the difficult and painful growth process. You'll probably discover that you've always been living a valuable and meaningful life, and at the same time, you can complete your sense of belonging. And the best part is, you can learn to love yourself and then the world will love you right back! I hope that everything is fine with you.

Hello, question asker!

It feels like you're in a relationship that's painful, but you don't want to leave.

Boyfriends seem to have a kind of magic. They attract you while controlling you so that you can't leave.

Ask yourself if this feeling is familiar.

It would be really interesting to know if you have people around you, especially your parents, who also have this kind of relationship!

You want to escape, but you can't, probably because you're imitating this pattern. But you can change that!

For a close relationship to last, we need to maintain a 5:1 ratio of good to bad. In other words, the good feelings and events in the relationship should be five times as many as the bad events and feelings.

You can evaluate the happy and painful parts of your relationship. If the happy parts are too few, it's really like eating sugar in glass shards, which will cause you a lot of pain. But you can change that!

You keep deceiving yourself with that little bit of good, but you know what? That's okay!

Ask yourself: does hurting yourself or arguing have an impact on the other person?

In fact, he doesn't care at all!

He's in control of the relationship!

He's a real charmer, isn't he? He's nice only when he wants to be nice to you, and hurts you when he doesn't want to be nice. His cheating makes you feel very insecure, but he still does it.

He doesn't care about your feelings at all!

If there's no trust between two people, how can they continue?

You don't know what this person really thinks, but you can find out! You can find out whether his good intentions towards you are genuine or just a ploy to deceive you.

If you want to get real love, you need respect and security. And you can definitely get that! This relationship just can't give you that, obviously.

You can give yourself the security you deserve!

You can do better than this! You deserve better than to not respect yourself and put yourself in a low position.

You also don't give yourself enough security to be able to leave him and be just fine on your own. But you can!

So you get to grow up and become independent before talking about relationships! That way, you won't get hurt like this again. Growing up is a lifelong task, and you're going to do great!

You've got this! Stay strong!

It is essential to learn how to truly love others, let go of the ego, forgive, and still hope that the other person can be happy. This is the only way to alleviate negative emotional problems. If the other person is not suitable for you, it is necessary to end the relationship and move on.

It is essential to love others genuinely, adapt to people and circumstances, and correct your energy field. This will increase the likelihood of finding and maintaining a loving and suitable relationship.

To truly love others is to wish and give others happiness, and to do so for everyone, regardless of their status or circumstances. This includes accepting, approving of, and forgiving others, as well as correcting mistakes or shortcomings when possible. Everyone has the right to happiness. People can provide mutual spiritual comfort and even joy to each other. It is beneficial to love and approve of others and oneself, to tolerate shortcomings, and to be kind at heart, that is, to be beneficial to others or society.

If you do not have the ability to get along with most people, it can lead to negative energy and negative emotional problems. In order to be more likely to find and have a loving and suitable relationship and career, you need to truly love others, adapt to people and things, and correct your energy field. You can also share and exchange what you see, hear, think, and feel or your interests and hobbies, including books, movies, and music, etc., with others in real life and on the Internet, such as Douban communities.

It is important to maintain a positive outlook on life and to appreciate the smaller things in life.

Negative energy can affect your health. To maintain bodily comfort and health, consider a full-body massage, a head massage (including the forehead and face, which also have meridians), a deep and forceful massage with your hands, a massage comb for the head, and avoid pressing on your stomach on an empty stomach. Then, take a walk.