My boyfriend doesn't accept that we have a dog at home. Are we still suitable for each other?

Hello, question asker! I can see the confusion you are facing now, and I'm here to help!

I think there's a good chance that your boyfriend's reluctance to have a dog is related to his own past experiences.

I think there's a good chance that the family had a dog before, and it caused him to get sick.

So, he'll feel that it's the dog's dirtiness that caused him to get sick.

Once you forgot to tell him the landing time of the flight, which gave him the chance to make a better judgment about the parking location, so he got angry at you.

I think it may have something to do with his family of origin, which is really interesting!

It's totally possible that when he was growing up, his parents would always blame him when they encountered problems.

So, growing up in such an environment, he may feel that when problems arise, they are caused by others.

Your best approach is to have a conversation with your boyfriend!

For example, you can say to him, "Please don't misunderstand. I don't mean to blame or criticize you, but I'd love it if you could see things differently. Is this how your parents treated you at home?"

I'm really excited to see what kind of feedback your boyfriend gives you after you say the above to him!

If, after communicating, he is still unwilling to change his personality, then you have two fantastic options!

The good news is that you have two great options! You can either accept that your boyfriend is a person with this personality and continue living with him, or you can break up with him if you really can't accept his personality. Either way, I'm sure you'll find a solution that works for you!

If you really can't accept your boyfriend's personality, then why not try something new? Break up with him and find someone who's a better match for you!

I really, truly hope that you can solve your problem soon!

Now, all I can think of is the above!

I really hope my answer is helpful and inspiring to you! I'm the answerer, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, the world and I love you! Best wishes!

I'm so excited to see what happens next!

I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling troubled and distressed in this relationship. I know relationships can be complicated, but it's so important to try to understand each other and work together.

From what you've told me, it seems like your boyfriend is pretty set on not having a dog in the house. It's possible that he has some obsessive-compulsive tendencies going on. It's totally understandable that he's not comfortable with the idea of a dog in the house, even if you do your best to make sure it's clean and well-groomed.

If you decide to keep the dog, there might be some disagreements along the way.

Secondly, he also shows a strong desire for control and meticulous attention to detail in other matters. For example, you must inform him of your landing time in a timely manner, and he asks you to review the matter. This may indicate that he has a tendency towards obsessive-compulsive disorder when dealing with problems, and he may need professional psychological help.

In a relationship, it's so important to feel comfortable and happy. If you're feeling troubled or miserable, it might be time to think about the future of the relationship.

Finally, I suggest you have a good, long chat with your boyfriend. Tell him how you feel and what you think. See if he's willing to make changes to the relationship. If he can't change, think about whether you're willing to give up your hobbies and freedom for the relationship.

Remember, your happiness and contentment are the most important things! If you feel that the relationship isn't bringing you happiness, then ending it is also okay.

If you decide to end the relationship, don't feel guilty. You deserve a relationship that makes you happy! If you decide to continue the relationship, then both of you need to make efforts and compromises for each other to build a healthier and more balanced relationship.

In relationships, it's totally normal to have disagreements and clash of values. The good news is that you can absolutely find a balance and the possibility of compromise!

However, if one partner's values and lifestyle are completely different from the other's and neither partner is willing to compromise, the relationship may face some challenges. But don't worry! There are plenty of ways to overcome this. Here are some suggestions to help you deal with this:

Have an honest conversation with your boyfriend! Try to understand his worries and concerns. There might be a reason, such as a past experience or a particular lifestyle habit, that causes him to have a strong aversion to dogs.

Assess compatibility – It's a great idea to consider whether your values are similar. If you have very different basic lifestyles, this could affect your long-term relationship, but it's also an opportunity to learn more about each other and find ways to make the relationship work!

Seek compromise – It's always a great idea to explore whether there are any compromises, such as restricting the dog to certain areas of the home or taking it for regular baths!

Respect and understanding – It is so important to try to understand his position, even if you don't agree with it. Likewise, it is also really important that he respects your choices and the feelings of your family members.

Set those boundaries! If his behavior makes you feel uncomfortable, such as losing his temper in public, you need to make it clear to him that this is unacceptable.

Professional counseling is a great option if you both want to try it. It's a fantastic way to gain a deeper understanding of each other's positions and learn how to resolve disagreements in a more effective way.

Self-reflection – Think about what the relationship means to you and how much you are willing to sacrifice for it. It's an exciting time to reflect on what you want from your relationship and what you're willing to do to make it work!

Long-term planning – Picture the next few years and think about how you can make the situation work for you!

Personal space – Sometimes giving each other some space is a great way to relieve tension and re-evaluate your relationship!

Growing together is the most important thing in a relationship! It's so important to remember that both people in the relationship should be growing and improving. If you feel restricted in your relationship, it might be time to reconsider.

Ultimately, this is a decision you get to make for yourself. If you feel that his attitude and behavior aren't right for you, then you get to decide whether your relationship is really right for you.

Remember, a relationship should be one of mutual support and understanding! It's not about unilateral sacrifice or compromise.

Hug you!

I often say that all the conflicts and contradictions in a relationship are there to help us better understand ourselves, to know ourselves better, and to improve ourselves—and it's an amazing process!

That's why it's so important to keep an open mind throughout this process. When we do, the problem itself becomes an incredible opportunity for us both to grow and improve, and to get closer to happiness!

But here's the thing: life is full of conflicts and arguments. And while it's easy to see these as problems, there's another way to look at them. Instead of seeing them as something to be solved, why not embrace them as an opportunity to grow? It's like this: either the other person solves it for us, or we solve it for the other person.

Gradually, both sides became more and more passionate about their views, and it seemed that if one side did not compromise, there would be no way for everyone to move forward.

On the issue of getting a dog, having a dog is the problem that seems like a problem. But it is not the problem itself!

The good news is that we can solve this problem together! All we have to do is open up and communicate with each other to find a solution.

It's about making some awesome adjustments and improvements in ourselves for the sake of a relationship!

If we just say rudely to all things and people that are inconsistent with our own ideas, "I don't accept it anyway," or "If you don't accept it, then break up," then we've missed out on the chance to grow together and become the best versions of ourselves!

This is something that can only be achieved through the combined efforts of both parties. If both parties are willing to make an effort, the future of the relationship will be full of exciting possibilities and happiness will become increasingly within reach.

So, if everyone can open up, re-examine the relationship, and be willing to become a better person for the sake of the relationship, then there's still a chance! We can have honest and sincere conversations about the things behind each of our thoughts and feelings. After these sincere conversations, we can seek out points of mutual understanding and places where we can work together!

Absolutely! There's got to be a solution out there.

But if we both want to stay the same, then it may be hard to find someone who fits perfectly in every way...

In short, you can do what you can do, and whether the other person is willing to do it or not, you can leave it to fate. And who knows what amazing things fate has in store for you!

Wishing you all the best!

Hello, question asker! It seems like you already have the answer in your heart, but you just want to seek the approval and corroboration of others. I totally get it! We all want to feel like we're making the right choice.

I can see that your boyfriend has some obsessive-compulsive traits, such as being overly clean. It seems like it's reached the point where even if you don't actually come into contact with the dog, just thinking about that image is already unacceptable. In addition, he is very strict in controlling his own schedule and does not allow the slightest mistake, otherwise he will become emotional and irritable.

I just wanted to point out that these are just two examples you gave. They may not seem like major issues, but they are enough to show that he has some pretty controlling and compulsive personality traits. It seems like his compulsive thinking not only demands it of himself, but also of others. Not only does he keep himself running in his own precise machine, but he also demands that others keep up with him.

Oh my, that's quite a lot to think about!

I just want to make sure you're totally on the same page with him. And if you're not, I want to make sure you can handle his criticism for a long time.

The truth is, in life, there aren't so many big issues of right and wrong. It's more about whether the personality traits of the two people match.

From what you've told me, I don't see how you're infatuated with him or admire him. There's no love revealed between the lines, but more confusion, anger, and even a little fear. You're a little afraid of his paranoia, his unreasonable insistence, and his unwillingness to break up. It makes you feel a little cold at the back of your neck.

So, sweetheart, we're not going to make the decision for you. After all, you're the one who lives your life. But trust your own heart. If you don't feel warmth, love, and security with this person, but only awkwardness, dominance, inexplicability, and even unease and fear, then make a decisive choice and give the person a clear answer. The longer you wait, the less secure you'll feel, and the less responsible you'll be to the other person.

In this world, we can't often define people as good or bad. Especially in love and marriage, there are many suitable and unsuitable people, people you like and people you don't like. But what really matters is whether you're attracted to each other and whether you can get along peacefully. When you find that special someone, your relationship will be stable and long-lasting.

Wishing you all the best!

Hello, my name is Strawberry.

In a relationship, it's important to recognize that both parties have equal value. When one party adopts an attitude of superiority and demands that the other party move at their own pace, it can create a sense of imbalance in the relationship. It's essential to recognize that true love can't be established in such a context.

It appears that the emotional impact of the situation may be significant.

The questioner adopted a stray dog with the consent of her parents. Given that she lives in a dormitory and does not go home every day, the questioner took the family environment into account when adopting the stray dog and also discussed it with her parents before making a decision.

The questioner's boyfriend has reservations about the adoption of a stray dog, citing the questioner's limited time to care for the animal. He encourages the questioner to consider that without sufficient time to properly care for the dog, it might be more responsible to not adopt it, as it could cause undue challenges.

The questioner recognizes that her boyfriend's perspective is influenced by his personal preferences and concerns. He is particularly mindful of hygiene, and he perceives the dog as a potential source of contamination. Even with occasional caretaking, the questioner and her family may still carry bacteria or other particles that could be perceived as unsanitary. This can be a source of discomfort for her boyfriend. It's understandable that the questioner's boyfriend may have reservations about the hygiene practices of those he interacts with. It's a complex issue, and it's important to recognize that everyone has different comfort levels and preferences.

The questioner attempted to persuade her boyfriend through actions that the dog had become clean and healthy after being adopted, but he remained opposed. The questioner found her boyfriend's behavior somewhat coercive and considered ending the relationship.

The boyfriend of the questioner is not as accepting of the dog's presence as she is. He has consistently expressed his desire for the dog to be sent away, and has also made it clear that he is not interested in breaking up.

I am unsure whether I should continue with this relationship.

I believe that true love is about mutual tolerance and understanding. It is not about expecting your partner to conform to your standards blindly, and it is certainly not about only thinking about yourself and ignoring your partner's emotions and feelings.

It seems that there has been a misunderstanding in the way the questioner and her boyfriend have been getting along. The questioner's boyfriend has been reluctant to negotiate and has not considered the questioner's thoughts and plans. Instead, he has been demanding that the questioner see his own decisions and plans.

From what the questioner has said, it seems that her mode of getting along with her boyfriend is more about putting him first and that his affairs are the most important. In his actions of loving the questioner, he cannot be affected by his other arrangements. In your relationship, it would be helpful to focus on what he thinks and says.

Similarly, the questioner ended the relationship with her boyfriend because she found it difficult to accept his controlling behaviour. Here, his reluctance to end the relationship does not necessarily indicate a high level of love on his part, but rather a preference for maintaining the status quo and a reluctance to let the questioner take the initiative. In short, his preference is for the questioner to prioritise his needs and wants above her own.

☀️Problem: Different people have different levels of acceptance of cleanliness. While the questioner's boyfriend is not particularly serious about cleanliness, there is a gap between his level of cleanliness and that of the questioner. This can potentially lead to some challenges when the questioner is with her boyfriend, and conflicts over cleanliness can affect the relationship.

It might be helpful to consider that asking those around you to follow your own rules because of your own cleanliness obsession could be perceived as selfish and might inadvertently ignore the feelings of others, forcing them to accommodate and tolerate you.

This is a character issue that has developed over time, influenced by the upbringing and family dynamics of the questioner's boyfriend. For instance, being indulged may have led him to prioritize his own feelings and view others as existing for his benefit. Without recognizing and addressing these patterns, it can be challenging for him to embrace change. The need to constantly accommodate others may continue to affect the relationship.

It might be helpful to follow your heart, although giving patience and time to wait for each other to change and grow is also a way of love in a relationship. However, it's important to recognize that not all partners are willing to wait for each other to improve and grow.

It seems that the questioner already has an answer in her heart when it comes to this relationship. She is simply seeking opinions from others to gain a different perspective. It could be said that the issue may lie with the questioner's boyfriend, rather than the questioner herself.

You might consider communicating with your boyfriend about his personality issues to see if he is willing to change for the relationship. If he is not willing, then the question owner may wish to follow their own inner choice.

I hope my answer is helpful to the questioner. Best wishes,

Hello, I'm Gu Daoxi, aka Fengshou Skinny Donkey, your Heart Exploration coach.

People on the outside can only see bits and pieces, and suggestions for making decisions may also be one-sided. But there are also criteria for whether a relationship is worth continuing. Things like whether you feel more internal conflict or happiness in the relationship; whether you feel more relaxed or tense, etc.

The questioner said that her boyfriend is a germaphobe. People with this complex may have relatively high hygiene standards. She might want to think about whether she's willing to adjust her standards to match his when they're together. If she finds it difficult to stick to them, she might need to think carefully.

The guy who asked the question said that the problem was that he hadn't been told by phone when the plane was landing, so he felt like it affected his judgment of the departure time and parking location. He got pretty mad on the phone and then wanted to talk to me again to make me realize my mistake. I was pretty upset.

I'm not sure if the questioner and the other person got into an emotional debate during this conversation. Or was the other person more logical, not considering emotional factors in matters of right and wrong, dealing with problems rationally, and making the questioner feel hurt?

Is the questioner's boyfriend also this logical when it comes to other issues of right and wrong? If so, the questioner may want to think about whether they can accept the other person's "straight man mode."

We all like to look for clues in a relationship to prove that we matter to the other person. Otherwise, it's easy to doubt whether the other person loves us. The questioner might try to see if they can be tolerant of each other in small things, like whether one person likes spicy food and the other doesn't, or whether one person likes pets and the other doesn't. In the questioner's opinion, is getting a dog a matter of principle or not?

If it's a matter of principle, you might want to think it over.

I once read a story about a man who asked his wife why her parents divorced. She said that they couldn't agree on whether her father should eat with a spoon or chopsticks, so they divorced. It may sound like a joke, but in a relationship, it's the little things that can affect your happiness.

The questioner might also want to think about whether they're willing to be tolerant. If they're not, they should think carefully.

Love is about two independent people coming closer together. It requires mutual tolerance and understanding. If one person always compromises and gives in, it can be easy to feel tired over time, which can lead to conflicts. The questioner may feel that while the other person is asking them to compromise, the other person hasn't considered the questioner's feelings when it comes to things that the questioner cares about.

If the answer is no, it might be a good idea to think it over.

From my own experience, if there are more arguments and unhappy days than happy days in a relationship, there's not much chance of a good marriage and getting along with each other after marriage. The questioner might want to think about the differences between each other and see if there's a way to adjust and work through them. If the answer is no, it might be time to think carefully.

List the reasons why you want to stick with the relationship and the reasons why you don't. This can help you figure out what you really want. Then, you can decide whether to take the calculated risk or not.

The best model for a relationship may not be that I like all your good points, but that I know all your faults and am still willing to tolerate and be with you, trying to understand each other's differences and malleability, as well as each other's love personalities. This will help the questioner become more aware of their own inner answer.

I'd also suggest reading "If I Knew Before Marriage," "How to Hug a Hedgehog," and "The Third Choice."

Best wishes!

Hello, I'm Beric, and I'm thrilled to be here!

Your feelings are totally valid! We all want our partners to understand and accept our choices and decisions, but this isn't always the case.

First of all, your boyfriend's obsession with cleanliness and his strong opposition to the dog may stem from a deep-seated unease or fear. This psychology may be related to his past experiences, family environment, or preconceived notions about pets—and it's something you can help him work through together!

His definition of "dirty" may be different from yours, which has caused some lively debate between you.

On the other hand, his sensitivity and involvement in minor issues between you may also reflect his deep investment in and enthusiasm about the relationship. He wants to ensure the stability and safety of the relationship by taking an active role, but such behavior often makes the other person feel supported and engaged.

In such a situation, I would highly recommend that you first try to have an in-depth conversation with your boyfriend. Find out what he is thinking and feeling, and try to understand the situation from his perspective.

At the same time, you should definitely let him know your bottom line and expectations!

However, if you cannot come to an agreement after communicating, it's time to decide whether the relationship is worth continuing. In a relationship, both parties need to be based on mutual understanding and respect — and when they are, it's a wonderful thing!

If he can't accept your choices and decisions and this difference has affected your relationship and quality of life, then it's time to move on to something better!

Finally, I hope you can remain calm and rational. Don't let the expectations or pressure of others make you make a decision against your own wishes. You've got this!

Your happiness and feelings are the most important things, and you should absolutely, 100% pursue the life you want with everything you've got!

Wishing you all the best!

Hello! I totally get you and I'm here to help!

It's totally normal to feel a bit helpless and conflicted when faced with a loved one with whom you cannot agree on key issues. But don't worry, I'm here to help! Read on for my response to you and some tips on how to better face this problem.

You adopted a stray dog out of respect and love for life. You have provided it with a warm home and made it no longer have to wander, which is an amazing thing to do!

You're also thrilled that your parents support your decision and are willing to help you take care of the dog!

However, when you told your boyfriend about this, he surprised you with his strong opposition to your keeping a dog. He even had a conflict with you over this matter!

You tried to communicate with him, telling him that you would regularly clean and deworm the dog to ensure hygiene, but he still could not accept it. This difference in attitude makes you feel very helpless, and you even doubt whether the relationship can continue. But you know what? You can overcome this challenge! You can find a way to communicate with your boyfriend in a way that he can accept your decision to care for the dog.

I totally get you! You love your boyfriend, but you also love the dog.

You want to find a balance that will satisfy both, and I know you can do it! Your boyfriend's cleanliness obsession and rejection of the dog have left you feeling helpless and even a little broken, but I know you can turn this around.

I totally get it! You might feel like you're stuck in the middle, with your boyfriend on one side and the dog on the other. It can be tough to know what to do.

However, please don't blame yourself or feel anxious. This is not your fault! It's simply a result of the differences in values and living habits between the two parties.

In this situation, I suggest that you remain calm and rational. Don't rush into making a decision, but try to have a deeper, more honest conversation with your boyfriend. This is an amazing opportunity for you both to connect and grow!

Tell him all about why you want to get a dog and how excited you are about it! At the same time, listen to his thoughts and concerns, and try to understand his point of view.

And there's another great idea! You can ask him to help with the dog. That way he can see for himself how cute and loyal the dog is. Before you know it, he'll be in love with this adorable little creature!

If, after a long period of communication and effort, you still cannot reach a consensus, then it might be time to consider whether the relationship is worth continuing. After all, a healthy relationship should be based on mutual respect and understanding!

In this process, remember to pay attention to your own inner feelings and needs. You are worthy of happiness and well-being! Don't sacrifice your own happiness and well-being in order to please others.

You have every right to pursue your own choices and lifestyle! And no matter what the outcome, I know you'll find that your decision is the right one.

I would also like to remind you to pay attention to your emotional and mental health. It is totally normal to feel anxious, depressed, or even angry when faced with such a dilemma.

It's okay to feel these emotions! You can talk to friends and family, seek counseling, or take part in relaxing activities to help you get through this difficult time.

Finally, no matter what decision you make, remember that time will bring you answers and healing. Every choice in life has its meaning and value. Whether you choose to continue or let go, you are making yourself happier and more joyful!

I know you can do it! Stay positive and brave in the face of future challenges and changes. I believe you will make the choice that is best for you and find your own happiness.

On a positive note, the other argument you mentioned, which was caused by a failure to communicate the time of arrival in a timely manner, also reflects some issues with communication and understanding between the two of you. This is an excellent opportunity for you both to learn how to listen and express your thoughts and feelings to avoid similar misunderstandings and conflicts in the future. Effective communication is an integral part of a relationship, and with a little effort, you can make it even better!

You may feel tired and confused in this relationship, but remember, you are not alone! Your feelings and needs are equally important, and you have the right to pursue your own happiness.

No matter what decision you make in the end, I know you can remain calm and firm in your heart, believe in your choice, and face the future with courage!

Life is full of exciting challenges and opportunities! These experiences help us grow and become stronger. I hope you can find your own direction in this process and create a fantastic future for yourself and those you love.

And remember, no matter where you go, don't forget to take your courage and hope with you!

Hello. From what you've said, I can see you're feeling conflicted and helpless.

As a psychologist, I'd like to share my understanding from a psychological perspective.

You're wondering if your boyfriend is still the right match for you, given that he doesn't accept your dog.

You and your boyfriend are together, and he's not okay with you having a dog. His attitude is firm, and it shows his character traits, which are paranoid. This includes his adjustment of the time and place of your pick-up, and he's not sure how long you've been dating. But you can tell that the pattern of your relationship is that he wants to be in control. You often let him, and maybe that's related to his character traits and personal growth history.

How do you handle conflict resolution?

First, take some time to understand yourself. What are your character traits?

What initially drew you to him before you became intimate? How do you typically handle conflicts and disagreements?

Next, find out more about the other person. What are their character traits?

What's his relationship with his parents like? How long has his obsessive-compulsive disorder been going on?

Does he take medication or see a therapist?

Third, it's important to be aware of your relationship patterns. Is it just his cleanliness obsession?

Do you feel comfortable and happy in your usual mode of getting along? If his cleanliness is the only thing that triggers your relationship, you can undergo couple therapy to find the root cause behind the conflict and reconcile your relationship mode. However, if it makes you feel uncomfortable, you also need to express it and see how you can resolve the conflict. Perhaps just getting a dog activated the potential conflict between you, which needs to be resolved. If you continue to tolerate it, this kind of dispute will continue after marriage, so you still need to better adjust your relationship.

It's important to love yourself, understand yourself, accept yourself, and learn to express your thoughts. You should also learn to deal with conflicts and contradictions in your partner relationship. This will help you to establish a stable and harmonious intimate relationship. Good luck!

Hello, I'm Zeyu.

Let's look at the "boyfriend not accepting my family's dog" event from a new perspective and then decide.

My boyfriend doesn't want a dog because he thinks it's "dirty." He thinks it will make him unclean and stop him from contacting us. The questioner has tried to make concessions and discuss solutions, but it hasn't worked. This has made the questioner remember how stubborn and fussiness the other person is. Let's try to see things from the other person's perspective. Maybe the other person can't accept a dog because it's too much for them to handle.

Ask yourself if there are any good things about him. If not, think about the good times you've had together.

If we can recall good times, our doubts are only temporary. We can fight for the relationship.

It's just one thing that's wrong, not the whole relationship. If we don't like how the other person acts, we can either change it, accept it, or accept that they're lacking in some way. If we're tired of this, we can take some time to think and decide what to do next.

Hello,

From what you've told me, it seems like your boyfriend wants to maintain a strong sense of control in your relationship. This makes you feel a bit oppressed and uncomfortable.

You said you'd deworm the dog and not let him take care of it, but he still wants to get rid of the dog and not break up. Not telling him when you'd arrive made him lose his cool and get really nervous.

He gets anxious when he loses control of the dog or time, and he'll pass the pressure on to you. He'll demand that you obey his demands and let him maintain his position of control.

He doesn't want to break up with you, but he wants a girlfriend who'll do what he says.

He's basically asking you to reflect on yourself, which is a clear way of putting all the blame on you. For example, if you're going to pick someone up at the airport, you can ask about their flight in advance and check the flight status at the airport. He feels that it is because you did not tell him the landing time that he does not know the landing time and how to arrange parking.

His anger is really about his own incompetence. He's unprepared, hasn't made a plan, and when problems arise, he doesn't want to solve them; he just shirks his responsibilities. If this way of thinking and acting enters into a marriage, he'll likely blame you for anything that doesn't fit his assumptions.

For instance, things like the decoration of the house, the education of children, and the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law can all be issues that make you question your own abilities.

To sum up, he's more focused on his own interests and self-esteem than on yours. He's pretty selfish. Keeping a relationship going takes work, and you can't let the cost worry you. He's not the best choice for a long-term relationship. It'll cause problems, make you doubt your choice, and put you on the hook for a bad outcome.

If you want to break up, go for it! I'm here to support you.

Hello, I send you a warm, encompassing hug.

From what I can gather, it seems that you are feeling somewhat helpless, frustrated, and angry. It's not entirely clear to me what your boyfriend wants, as he has only expressed what he doesn't want. It seems that you are focusing on what he doesn't want, rather than on what he does want.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that he would prefer you to listen to him and not pursue a different lifestyle.

Let's consider the situation with the dog. You enjoy dogs, you have one, your parents help you take care of it, and you don't usually interact with it much. You agree to practice good personal hygiene after petting the dog.

You have expressed your desire to keep the dog and are willing to make an effort to reduce the impact on your boyfriend. However, your boyfriend has made it clear that he does not accept that you keep the dog, regardless of what you do or say.

You suggested ending the relationship, but he wasn't ready to do so.

If you don't break up, there is a possibility that the dog will become an important factor in your future conflicts. At this time, it might be beneficial to consider getting rid of the dog and not keeping it anymore, as this could help to reduce the frequency of conflicts.

In other words, you listened to him and took the initiative to make a change by getting rid of the dog, which allowed your relationship to continue on a positive path.

Perhaps what he wants is for you to listen to him and do what he asks.

Your subsequent remarks seem to reinforce this perspective. It appears that you believe you must comply with his requests, otherwise the responsibility lies with you. I sense that you may have already recognized this, as you promptly introduced another topic to further illustrate his inflexibility.

However, it seems that you perceive him as somewhat stubborn and prone to making a fuss over minor issues, which could be indicative of a pathological obsessive-compulsive disorder. It's possible that his stubbornness stems from the fact that he made a request and you didn't comply, and he strongly demanded that you do what he wants.

However, this is not what you desire. It is challenging for you to accept being confined by standards set by others, given your education and upbringing.

It may seem as though there are two different issues at play, but it's possible that there is, in fact, a common underlying cause.

It seems there may be a struggle for control in your relationship. From what you've shared, it seems your boyfriend wants you to listen to him and do what he wants.

However, you have your own autonomy and independent thoughts, and you prefer to make your own decisions. He would like you to accept control before he can rest, otherwise he will feel awkward.

You feel that accepting his standards may not be the best solution for you, so you present your case.

However, your two needs are contradictory, so it is understandable that conflicts may arise.

From a psychological perspective, it seems that your boyfriend may need others to obey him and may be afraid of the uncertainty that comes with losing control. As you mentioned, this could make him feel very awkward.

I believe that he may not have many advantages in comparison to you, which may prevent him from demanding what he wants forcefully. Instead, he may have to resort to pointing out your mistakes in order to get you to compromise. This is something he needs, something he is struggling with, and something he is hoping will happen. However, it is not something that has to do with you.

Perhaps this is something he needs to work through on his own. Listening to him won't necessarily resolve the issue.

You inquire about the suitability of the relationship, and whether you want to continue it. I believe you may have reached a point where you need to make a decision. It might be helpful to have more supportive analysis.

Regarding the question of whether or not to stay together in an intimate relationship, I believe it is important to respect your feelings and not ask for reasons. Your feelings often reflect the most direct feelings that the other person gives you. If you have these negative feelings when you are together, it may require a lot of evidence to convince you otherwise.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to respect your feelings and trust your instincts.

I am often both Buddhist and pessimistic, but I try to be an occasionally positive and motivated counselor. I love the world and I love you.

Hello! I'll give you a warm hug from afar first, and it'll be the best hug ever!

I'm so happy I saw your request for help! I really hope my sharing can give you some support and help. I can totally feel your grievance, anger, helplessness, and powerlessness because your boyfriend doesn't understand, respect, accept, or support you.

It's clear that your boyfriend has strong feelings about you getting a dog. You've done a great job reassuring him that you're capable of taking care of a dog, but unfortunately, he's still not on board. It's understandable that you feel a bit lost, sad, upset, and even desperate. But remember, this is an opportunity for you to grow and learn more about your boyfriend's needs and preferences.

Because in your opinion, his firm opposition to your keeping a dog is in some way a rejection of you, a lack of understanding and acceptance. And the reason behind his firm opposition to your keeping a dog is because of your excessive persistence. His obsession with cleanliness also has a lot to do with it. But here's the good news! There's a way to turn this around.

In fact, behind your boyfriend's opposition and your insistence, you have both overlooked the emotional needs behind each other's attitudes and positions. For example, you long for more of his respect, acceptance, understanding, and support, and you love him and he loves you back, not strongly opposed. He should give you the real reason why you want to get a dog, instead of blindly and strongly opposing and denying you. This is an amazing opportunity for you both to learn more about each other's needs and desires!

And he completely rejects you and opposes you, especially when you find strong support that proves that raising a dog will not affect him or the family environment. Behind his stronger opposition is his desire to prove that you should choose and consider him first compared to the puppy. He feels left out and ignored. What an opportunity for you to show him how much you care!

You know he's the one for you! You value, care about, and love him more than anyone. Despite his strong opposition, you didn't change your mind because his attitude made you feel in control and decisive. This part of the traumatic experience and feelings stems from the airport pick-up incident because you didn't inform him of the time of landing in time, and he misjudged the fault of departure and parking without asking you. He also expressed strong anger, dissatisfaction, and harsh criticism to you, making you feel aggrieved and like you weren't understood or considered.

Obviously, at that moment, you did not express or respond in a timely and appropriate manner to the extremely aggrieved emotional feelings within yourself. But these feelings have always been there, waiting to be seen, accepted, and responded to! The act of getting a dog has reactivated the aggrieved feelings of not being understood, not being considered, being rejected, being disliked, being harshly criticized, and being suppressed that you experienced during the airport pick-up incident.

I'd love to know your thoughts on this!

Once you've identified this part of yourself, you can try expressing your feelings of grievance and the needs behind them to him. This will help him understand how his unconscious verbal and non-verbal behavior and emotional state have hurt you. And if you express your feelings and needs sincerely, it will also guide him to try to become aware of the needs behind his emotional outbursts.

Conflicts in intimate relationships are inevitable, but there's no need to be scared! When both parties can deal with them in a timely and proactive manner, conflicts can be an amazing opportunity to enhance understanding, create connections, and deepen feelings. What do you think?