My head is full of my grandmother and the others. What should I do about obsessive thoughts?

Hello! From your description, it seems that you have been trying to maintain your sense of existence, but you associate everything you see with them. After all, there is an expectation in your repetitive thinking, and every expectation is accompanied by a demand for past growth experiences that you cannot feel. Perhaps in the feeling of indifferent response or no response, you can only rely on thinking to form doubts about the value of your existence. The grandmother in your mind is just an idea, and the expectation formed in your mind is that you need to be seen and valued. Not being able to see the value of your existence in your mind will also generate more negativity in your anger and doubt. Just as you said that taking medicine is useless, you may not believe that the value of your existence will be seen. Your obsessive thinking has the most painful feeling, and that is that you have been looking for your grandmother and the others. After all, your grandmother and the others have a certain impact on your growth needs, and it is indeed not easy for you. If we cannot see ourselves in our growth experience, it is like a person who can only rely on thinking to expect to be seen, but loses the ability to see themselves.

This sense of loss may also be accompanied by the feeling of being able to see the outside world only through the mind and thinking over and over again.

You might consider seeking the support of a counselor or a listener on the platform to accompany you in exploring the thoughts and expectations in your mind. This could potentially help to alleviate the confusion arising from your thoughts. At the same time, we hope that you can find relief from your suffering soon. It may be helpful to remember to take your medicine and to learn to love yourself, so that you can see your ability to make choices in the midst of your suffering. We wish you all the best!

Hello, questioner! I'm Qi Ao Bu Xun, your Heart Exploration coach.

"My head is full of my grandmother and the rest of the family, and I can't stop thinking about them." The doctor diagnosed you with obsessive-compulsive disorder, and medication is no longer effective. I'm curious about what happened with your grandmother and the rest of the family. Did you encounter something unhappy?

I'm sending you a virtual hug! Don't worry too much, just relax. Follow your doctor's advice, take the treatment and medication you need, and stop overthinking it.

What should I do if my OCD is getting worse?

Try not to dwell on your grandmother and the others. Find something else to occupy your mind. Don't let yourself become consumed by this emotional turmoil all the time. As you mentioned, the more you dwell on it, the more you think about it. Now, the doctor has diagnosed you with OCD, and even taking medication doesn't help, which shows that your situation is really getting worse. You'll continue to associate everything you see with them. This is proof of what they've done to make you feel this way. What should you do?

The most important thing for you right now is to find a way to regulate yourself, even if it means temporarily stepping away from your obsessive thoughts. Think about things that make you happy, or go find a friend to chat with. Since there are things you can't control, just let them go. Focus on your own emotions and feelings first. Hate them. They are the ones consuming you.

Is there a good way for you to regulate your own negative emotions?

It's important to detach yourself from the situation as soon as possible. Don't focus on your obsessive symptoms or the desire for a quick cure. This has to do with what you've experienced. What you need to do now is: don't listen, don't care, don't be afraid, don't care. Nothing has anything to do with you right now. If you care too much, are too afraid, or too anxious, you'll be especially prone to negative emotions. Your physical and psychological obsessive symptoms will definitely get worse. The best way is to temporarily detach yourself from the situation and get out of that whirlpool.

It's time to accept yourself as you are. You know your current situation and that medication isn't very effective, but you don't know how to adjust. At this time, I think you can try to accept rather than fight against it. From a psychological point of view, you should try to accept your obsessive symptoms and all the good and bad things about yourself. You should regard OCD as your old friend. If you just try to fight against it, it may have the opposite effect, causing obsessions and compulsions, which will lead to more serious anxiety. Don't avoid it, don't force yourself, just face it with an open mind. Don't worry, you are only temporary, so don't be afraid.

It's okay to do what you want. You're feeling negative right now, and you're struggling to control your thoughts. But it's still a good idea to try to think positively and optimistically. Even if you have symptoms of OCD, you should try to learn and work, live your life as it is, not pay too much attention to the outside world, ignore people and things that make you unhappy, and not care too much about yourself. Just let things take their course. It's best to learn, work, and live with your symptoms, and slowly you will learn to live with OCD.

One way to avoid being affected is to distract yourself. Do the things you enjoy. Learn to adapt to the obsessive symptoms while accepting them. Keep yourself busy, live a fulfilling life, do the things that make you happy. Spend your time and energy on those things. Don't let yourself think about your grandmother and others. Adjust your mentality positively and face it optimistically.

"A Free Mind" is a self-help book for obsessive-compulsive disorder that provides in-depth psychological guidance and adjustment solutions. The book lists a variety of cases and their corresponding adjustment methods to help readers gradually adjust themselves.

I hope my answer helps. If you need to talk more, you can follow me (click on my personal homepage), choose the Heart Exploration service, and send me a message. Best regards, [Name]

Dear questioner, Hello. I hope this message finds you well. I just wanted to say that I'm here for you if you need anything.

I sense that you may be feeling somewhat restless and uneasy at the moment.

In terms of OCD, the doctor has already provided a diagnosis, so it would be beneficial to trust the doctor's judgment and actively cooperate with the recommended treatment plan. While the effects of medication may not be immediate, with time and dedication, you will likely notice gradual improvements.

In the meantime, you might like to try some other relaxation methods, such as deep breathing, meditation, or doing some exercise you enjoy. These can all help to relieve tension.

As for your grandmother and the others you mentioned, I understand you may currently feel some resentment towards them. However, I'm not sure exactly what happened. Perhaps they did something that made you unhappy, but we can try to understand and be tolerant.

This is not only beneficial for our grandparents, but also for our own well-being.

If we can learn to let go of resentment and dissatisfaction and look at things with a more tolerant and inclusive attitude, we may find that our hearts become more peaceful and tranquil.

Furthermore, this process of tolerance and understanding can also be seen as a form of personal growth and development. It provides an opportunity to learn and practice skills that can enhance our ability to navigate and interact with others in a more positive and constructive manner.

I believe that these experiences and skills will prove to be valuable assets not only in our current lives, but also in the future.

I encourage you to try to be tolerant and understanding. It may be challenging, but if we approach it with sincerity, we will likely find greater happiness and joy in the process.

Additionally, you might consider communicating with them again to express your feelings and thoughts. It's possible that through communication, you could gain a deeper understanding of each other and potentially reduce any misunderstandings or barriers.

If communication is not possible, it may be helpful to maintain a certain distance and avoid letting their emotions affect you.

It may be helpful to allow yourself some time and space to adjust your mood. It is not necessary to force yourself to forget or accept certain things; you may simply need to let them be.

With time, you will gradually find a way out of this situation.

I know it's tough, but I'm here to support you. The world and I love you.

Hello, I've received your question and I'm here to help. I'm ZQ, a heart exploration coach from the Yixinli platform. It's sad to see that your grandmother and the others' obsessive thoughts are filling your head and leaving you no peace. I'd love to know more about what they did and what they said to you.

What kind of role did they play in your original family that has made you hate them so much now? You probably need to describe this in more detail. Many things you cannot solve if you do not speak out.

There's no way for you to express your inner hatred. You can only get it out by talking about it in its entirety so that you can realize you can vent too. We can vent our inner resentment in a proper way.

As your elders, shouldn't they protect you with love and respect?

Why do some of their behaviors make you so resentful? There may be some unspoken stories inside your head, so the main thing you need to do is get to the bottom of these stories.

If you really let out all the resentment inside you, it's likely that your grandmother and others did not treat you well at all. They didn't respect you in a way that would have allowed you to be better nourished and grow. They may have treated you in a terrible way, which is why you now have some obsessions.

It's making it difficult for you to live your life to the fullest. You went to the hospital and the doctor diagnosed you with OCD, and you're taking medication, but your negative associations are becoming more and more serious, which will greatly affect your state of mind and quality of life. We need to pay attention to it.

What you need to do now is take medication and also undergo systematic psychological counseling and psychotherapy. It seems that medication alone isn't particularly effective in your current state. There are still many issues that have not been resolved, and many things that have not been thought through and understood.

You haven't found a better solution, a more reasonable, legal, and effective one. You may have suffered a lot of trauma in your original family, and if this trauma continues to linger in your heart, these compulsions of yours will continue to emerge.

So, you still need to look for some psychological counseling. You need to open up about those wounds in your heart, let them out, and slowly work through them so that in the future, when you face your grandmother or think of those people, or remember what they said, you can handle it more calmly.

It's always good to know how to respond. I also suggest taking the original family trauma psychological test to see what kind of trauma you experienced in your original family.

There are also some techniques you can use to calm down in your daily life.

I suggest you try meditation to help you deal with these issues in a more calm and controlled manner. This will enable you to live your life more fully and face challenges with greater resilience. It's a powerful way to fight back. Let's do this!

ZQ?

Hello, dear questioner! I'm June Lai Feng.

From what you've told me, it seems like you have some negative feelings about your grandparents. It's clear that these feelings have affected your life in some way.

From a psychological perspective, your situation does indeed fit some of the characteristics of obsessive-compulsive disorder. It's totally normal to have these thoughts when you're feeling stressed, anxious, or have some internal conflicts.

It's totally normal to try to push thoughts about your grandparents out of your mind. But here's the thing: when you try to suppress them, they actually come back stronger! This is called the rebound effect of "mental inhibition." It's like when you try to ignore a thought, it just comes back to you even more.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a common mental disorder that can cause some distressing thoughts and behaviors.

It's totally normal to think about your grandparents a lot. It might even be a kind of obsessive idea, a recurring and unnecessary thought or idea. This obsessive idea may be related to your past experiences, emotions, or psychological conflicts.

First, your grandparents may have played an important role in your life, and you have a deep emotional attachment to them. It's totally normal for your mind to unconsciously fall into thinking about them when something triggers memories or emotions associated with them.

Second, it's also quite common for people with OCD to feel stressed and anxious. It's possible that you're facing some challenges in your life, and that's making you think about your grandparents in a way that helps you cope.

On top of that, there might be some unresolved psychological conflicts related to your grandparents. These conflicts could make you subconsciously keep thinking about them, trying to find a solution.

Finally, habituation: you might have noticed that thinking about your grandparents over and over again has become a habit. It's totally normal! Your brain has become accustomed to this way of thinking, and it can be tricky to break it.

It's totally understandable to feel this way. It's clear that your emotions are greatly affected. This strong negative emotion may be related to your obsessive thoughts, or you may have attached excessive meaning or importance to things related to your grandmother and others, making it impossible to get rid of these thoughts. It may also be due to other factors.

I've got a few ideas that might help you out!

First, let's talk about self-acceptance. It's so important to learn to accept your thoughts and feelings and not be too hard on yourself.

It's totally normal to feel distressed by the symptoms of OCD. But remember, accepting them is the first step towards recovery.

Second, try to distract yourself. When you start to overthink your grandmother, try to engage in other activities that you enjoy, such as sports, socializing, hobbies, or sharing with friends.

And remember, it's also super important to take care of your body! Getting enough sleep, eating well, and moving your body in a way that makes you feel good can really help your mood and ease your anxiety.

Then, you can start to challenge those cognitive distortions, examine your own thinking patterns, identify the cognitive distortions within, and try to replace them with more reasonable and objective thoughts.

It's also a great idea to seek support and share your feelings with family, friends, or other people you trust who can provide support and understanding.

If you're still struggling and your symptoms are really affecting your quality of life, it might be time to seek more professional help. This could be a further assessment or treatment advice from a psychologist.

It's so important to remember that overcoming OCD takes time and effort. By persevering with positive coping strategies, you may gradually reduce your symptoms and improve your quality of life. At the same time, it's also really important to be patient and tolerant with yourself, and accept the ups and downs and difficulties you encounter in the process.

I love you, world! And I hope my story can help you in some way.

Hello, I'm Gu Daoxifeng, also known as Skinny Donkey. I'm a heart exploration coach.

It is possible that individuals who consistently capture our attention may have inadvertently caused some disruption in our lives, resulting in emotional distress. Understanding the origin of these emotions could potentially assist the questioner in making targeted adjustments.

Some people believe that a single thought can have a significant impact on our lives, either positively or negatively. It's possible that the questioner is experiencing obsessive thoughts, which could be a result of a combination of factors, including a tendency to be stubborn and unwilling to give in, or a perfectionist complex and high self-esteem that makes it challenging to accept different opinions. It might be helpful for the questioner to take some time to understand their current state of mind more clearly.

It might be helpful for the questioner to try to be aware of:

It's possible that because of obsessive-compulsive disorder, you always think about your grandparents and feel hatred towards them. Conversely, it's also possible that it's because of the hatred towards them that leads to the obsessive-compulsive disorder. The order of the two may produce different causal connections.

Could you please elaborate on why you feel so much hatred towards your grandmother and her family? I'm curious to understand what kind of emotional response their words and actions triggered in you.

Could I suggest that you consider whether this emotion is real? I wonder if it might help to subdivide the granularity of your emotions, as this could allow the questioner to better deal with emotions.

It might be helpful for the questioner to try keeping an emotional diary. This could assist in understanding the feelings behind their emotions, which may not have been accurately captured. It could also help in identifying the root cause of obsessive-compulsive disorder, which would allow for targeted adjustments to be made.

Some people say that getting well is 30% medicine and 70% rest, and this is also applicable to mental health. The questioner may wish to consider adjusting their thinking or trying to cultivate concentration in other areas to help them escape from their current emotional predicament.

It might be helpful to consider that the more you resist, the more you may induce a certain aspect of anxiety in your mind, which could potentially lead to a state of anxiety. For instance, if you were to imagine catching the 6 or 7 o'clock train in the morning, the more you let yourself stay up the night before, the less sleep you might get. It's possible that the questioner's emotions towards their grandmother may be similar to this situation. Perhaps it could be beneficial to try changing your perspective: "The more you don't let me think, the more I want to think, and the effect may be different."

It might be helpful to treat the thoughts that arise in your mind with an open and accepting heart. Our brains generate thousands of thoughts every day, but very few of them actually enter the conscious area and are remembered. Allowing emotions to exist and watching thoughts arise and depart as a bystander may help to reduce the questioner's anxiety.

~It might be helpful to try opening up your heart and talking about the issue you're struggling with the most with the people around you. Sharing your feelings can help you feel a little better.

I find the saying, "Trauma is not your fault, but recovery is your responsibility," to be helpful. It can be beneficial to recognize your own strength, set healthy boundaries, and ask yourself, "What can I do to make myself feel better?" This approach may encourage the questioner to explore ways of fostering happiness, such as physically distancing themselves from their grandmother or focusing on their own needs.

If you're feeling like you're not being taken care of, it might help to give yourself a hug, accept your emotions, and remind yourself that you can take care of your own feelings. When it comes to change, it's important to recognize that external forces can only be helpful. If you want to make a change, it might be helpful to step out of your own perspective.

You might find it helpful to read the following books: Living a Life You Don't Control, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, and A Change of Heart.

I wish you the best!

I understand that it can feel like a record that keeps spinning in your head, playing the same thing over and over again, and that it can be challenging to stop it, no matter how hard you try.

It's often the case that the first step is the most challenging when it comes to psychological challenges. Try to give yourself some credit for taking action.

Let's move on to discussing how to handle these emotions. Obsessive-compulsive disorder is a complex psychological issue that can lead to a repetitive thought pattern.

It might be helpful to remember that just because medication isn't working, there are still other things you can try.

It might be helpful to consider that accepting your current situation rather than resisting it could potentially lead to a greater sense of relaxation. You could try saying to yourself, "This is how I am now, and it's part of me, but I have more possibilities."

It is possible that this acceptance may help to reduce your stress.

If you notice that you are starting to fall into the cycle again, you might consider distracting yourself by doing something completely different. For example, you could listen to a favorite song, take a few deep breaths, walk around a bit, or play a little game, even if it's just for a few minutes.

Another beneficial practice is writing down your feelings. It can be cathartic to simply express your thoughts and emotions without worrying about the quality of your writing.

It is not uncommon to find that after writing, one's thoughts are actually clearer than they initially appeared to be.

It might also be helpful to express your emotions through drawing or handicrafts. There is no need to strive for perfection; the key is to feel relieved in the process.

It is worth noting that holding a grudge for a long time can have a negative impact on one's energy levels. It may be helpful to strive for understanding and forgiveness, not necessarily for the sake of others, but for one's own well-being.

Everyone has their own story, and everyone is trying to live their lives in their own way. You also have the right to a more relaxed and happier life, if you so choose.

I kindly ask you to consider this.

It is important to note that this situation can be distressing and painful. It is advisable to avoid excessive anxiety or nervousness, as this may exacerbate obsessive thoughts.

It is recommended that you try some relaxation methods, such as deep breathing exercises, meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation. Set aside dedicated time to think about your grandmother and others, and try to control your thoughts at other times.

Additionally, it may be helpful to engage in activities that you enjoy, such as reading, exercising, painting, listening to music, etc.

It is recommended that you seek the assistance of a professional psychotherapist, such as a cognitive behavioral therapist, who can provide more targeted help in dealing with these obsessive thoughts.

Furthermore, maintaining a good daily routine and a healthy diet can also help to stabilize emotions and improve psychological well-being. It is important to believe that you will gradually overcome this situation.

As a next step, we suggest keeping a record of your thoughts and emotions. Whenever obsessive thoughts occur, please write down the situation, thoughts, and feelings in detail.

Then, review these records and analyze the patterns and triggers.

Another method is exposure and response prevention. This involves deliberately putting oneself in situations that will trigger obsessive thoughts about the subject in question, but refraining from performing obsessive acts or thoughts. The aim is to gradually become accustomed to this uneasy feeling, thereby reducing its impact.

Additionally, it is recommended to discuss your challenges with trusted colleagues or family members, who can provide support and understanding. Seeking a second opinion from a different healthcare professional or modifying your current treatment plan may also be beneficial.

Do not lose hope. There is always a solution that will meet your needs.

Landlord, The situation you describe is distressing and has a significant impact on your daily life. You are suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), an anxiety disorder characterized by recurrent intrusive thoughts (obsessions) and/or repetitive behaviors (compulsions).

If medication is not effective or you feel that your symptoms are getting worse, you must consider other treatments.

Here are some suggestions that will be helpful:

1. Get professional help.

Contact a psychologist, psychiatrist, or other mental health professional, especially one who specializes in OCD treatment.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), especially exposure and response prevention (ERP) techniques, is the most effective psychological treatment for OCD.

2. Support groups:

Join a support group for people with OCD. You'll interact with people experiencing similar problems and learn from their experiences.

3. Make lifestyle adjustments:

You must maintain a regular lifestyle, including a healthy diet, moderate exercise, and adequate sleep.

Learn stress management techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, and other relaxation techniques.

4. Alternative therapies:

Try alternative therapies such as yoga, art therapy, or music therapy. They can help reduce anxiety and obsessive symptoms.

5. Family and social support:

Tell your family how you feel and what you need. They should understand and support you.

If you mentioned that the emotion of "hate" is very strong, it is crucial to address this aspect of your treatment. This strong negative emotion requires professional intervention to deal with it.

6. Evaluate the medication regimen.

Discuss the effectiveness of the medication with your doctor. If necessary, adjust the type or dosage of the medication.

You need to seek professional help right away. Don't try to bear this burden alone. If you feel like you're losing control of your emotions or have thoughts of harming yourself, contact a family member or friend you trust immediately or your local mental health hotline.

Hello, I'm Li Di, and I'm so happy we're meeting!

It seems like your grandmother's behavior or approach has hurt you in some way, and you're having a hard time getting out of this state of mind. The more you don't think about it, the more you think about it. The doctor has diagnosed it as obsessive-compulsive disorder. Taking medication hasn't helped, but it has developed to the point where you associate them with everything you see. You hate them. You are in a lot of pain. I give you a hug. I don't know what to do. Am I right?

I can see how you feel that your grandmother and her family have hurt you deeply, and that this emotional state has prevented you from moving on. It's totally understandable! We all have things in our past that we need to work through. So let's think about what needs I am expressing behind this feeling of hatred. What aspects of my life do I need to resolve?

Since we can't escape it, we associate everything with it. So let's choose to face the problem head-on together! Grab a piece of paper and let's explore what problems we need to face head-on, along with our emotional feelings.

So, how can we understand ourselves better at the psychological level? The "grandmother and the others crowding my mind" you mentioned, and the strong emotions that arise from it, may be a way of dealing with unresolved emotional entanglements deep within us, or it could be a conflict between the desire for certain relationships and the conflict.

This constant, uncontrolled thinking often points to our basic need for a sense of belonging and security. According to psychologist Maslow, the need for belonging and love is one of our basic human needs, and when this level of need is not met, it can lead to strong anxiety and distress.

In your case, obsessive thinking may be a way your mind is trying to deal with and resolve this inner insecurity. The phrase "I already hate them" you said may be a way of hiding disappointment, anger, and even deep sadness about the relationship.

It's totally normal! Our relationships with others play a big part in how we feel. But when things don't go the way we hoped, it can be tough.

I know it can be tough, but there are ways we can cope with this situation. Let's try the following steps together:

☞ Self-acceptance: Give yourself a break! It's okay to have both good and bad feelings. And remember, having obsessive thoughts doesn't make you a bad person.

☞It's so important to express your emotions! You can do this in lots of different ways, like by writing in a journal, creating art, or talking to someone you trust. When you express your emotions, you can start to understand and accept them.

☞ Psychological counseling: Find a counselor, especially one who specializes in relationships and inner conflicts. They're there to help you explore the deeper meaning behind these obsessive thoughts and learn how to better deal with these emotions.

☞Self-care: It's so important to take care of yourself during this tough process. Make sure you get enough rest, eat healthy foods, get some moderate physical exercise, and try to engage in activities that make you feel calm and relaxed.

☞ Re-evaluate the relationship: If you can, it'd be really helpful to try to understand your relationship with your grandmother and see if there's anything unresolved that needs to be dealt with. This doesn't mean you have to have a direct conversation with them, but it might help to find a suitable place for the relationship in your heart.

☞ Set boundaries: If certain things or situations trigger your obsessive thoughts, it's a great idea to learn to set boundaries for yourself to protect yourself from them.

I just want to say one more time how important it is to remember that your feelings and experiences are valuable and deserve to be heard and understood. Everyone's psychological journey is unique, and your feelings are an important part of that journey.

Please be patient with yourself and give yourself lots of love and kindness, as the healing process takes time. If you feel the need for further help, seeking professional psychological counseling is a great step to take.

You're not alone, sweetheart. There are so many people who are here for you and ready to help you along the way.

I really hope my answer helps! And please remember, you are the only you in the whole world, and you deserve all the good things in life!

As for your grandmother, are you avoiding the topic because you're afraid of being hurt again, or because you're afraid of remembering it and reinforcing your obsessive tendencies?

If you don't want to be hurt again, I respect your decision to stay silent.

When you're ready to talk, you can remember.

But I have to tell you, if you're not ready to open up to a stranger, then just keep quiet. Silence is also a kind of strength that can maintain a certain balance of your own energy.

When you have enough energy to speak and to remember past hurts, then share your past freely. Don't hold it in, because this will hinder the flow of your mental energy, causing blockages and stagnation, and you will continue to be trapped in the past.

I think you're not quite ready yet, and you haven't saved up enough energy, so you've chosen not to talk about it.

I'd like to share some tips for building up your energy.

If your mind won't stop, get your body moving. Let your body and your thoughts compete for space in your mind.

Sign up for a class—any kind of physical exercise class will do. When you're fully engaged in moving, your brain space is "squeezed" to the limit, and you won't have the time or energy to think about things you don't want to think about.

There will always be times when you want to be still. If you are a student, set an alarm for yourself. Use this time to attend classes, study, and do your homework. Use that time to let your mind wander. If those annoying things come up, don't stop them because you are free during this time anyway.

If you're an office worker, do the same thing: set your own daily schedule, working at this time and being idle at that time, and let your thoughts wander freely when you're idle.

If you've always been controlled by certain thoughts and ideas and you can't control your own thinking, then you need to give yourself some freedom. If you can't get rid of those thoughts, at least you can be free in terms of time and space planning.

You can place those thoughts and images freely and independently in a certain space in your heart, such as a specific drawer. You can decide how you want to set up the drawer—what style, how strong you pull it, how long you leave it open, and even if you want to add a combination lock or an incantation to it. Once you've locked it or said the incantation, you'll feel at ease.

Start with simple breathing exercises to learn to meditate. Set your alarm for 5 minutes, then gradually extend it to 10, 15, 20, and 30 minutes. During this time, pay attention to your breathing, the subtle sensations in the muscles of your nose, mouth, and face, and gradually focus on a certain part of your body, from head to toe.

If your thoughts jump to a scene you'd rather not think about, don't be hard on yourself. Simply bring your focus back to your breathing, and then go back to visualizing your body.

Once you've built up some energy using the techniques above and you're ready to talk about it, come back to the platform. Look for the root cause of your problem and you might find a solution.

Wishing you all the best! May you have lots of energy!

Good day. I extend my sincerest regards to you in the form of a 360-degree hug.

The underlying issue is likely to be anger, powerlessness, and anxiety. I am unaware of the specifics of your grandmother's comments and actions, but it is probable that she has accused you of not getting married, being unfilial, disobedient, and unwilling to make sacrifices. Furthermore, she has demanded that you adhere to her personal standards of morality.

Furthermore, these individuals may exert influence due to a perceived alignment with their views, despite a lack of complete agreement and a desire for autonomy. This dynamic can be likened to the superego, a internalized moral compass that imposes a set of expectations, including marriage and obedience.

These rules frequently originate from the cultural conditioning we have undergone since childhood. These morals, customs, and cultures have gradually been internalized into our perspectives on the world.

However, we have also received an education that emphasizes individualism, encouraging us to be independent, autonomous, assertive, and to listen to our hearts. This is akin to the self within us, the unrestrained Monkey King.

It is inevitable that there will be conflict between the two. One represents rebellion in Heaven, while the other is akin to the Five-Finger Mountain.

Ultimately, we are all akin to the Monkey King with the magic band, tasked with striking a balance between rules and self.

Currently, the established regulations are not aligned with the evolving needs of our society. This discrepancy has led to a state of unrest, comparable to that of the Monkey King in the classic Chinese tale. In essence, the reality is that we are facing a situation where the current framework is no longer fit for purpose.

I am unaware of your personal history. It is not uncommon for individuals to be influenced by their grandparents, as the values and principles they espouse have been instilled over an extended period and have become deeply ingrained in our collective consciousness.

On occasion, we may have considered their viewpoint to be valid. However, our individual consciousness also made us rebellious, and we were reluctant to be morally influenced by them. This resulted in conflicts.

There is a saying that if one has no morals, no one can morally blackmail them. In other words, if they say one thing, one should turn a deaf ear and act at one's own discretion. This will prevent any influence.

This is a challenging proposition, as these individuals are our relatives and often act in our best interests. They demonstrate selflessness, sacrifice, and make sacrifices, and we cannot remain completely indifferent. We do not want to cause them distress because we are disobedient and unfilial. Consider if Grandma's words and actions that affect you were said by other unrelated people, they would probably not affect you.

It is acceptable to be indifferent to these circumstances.

It would be advisable to maintain a certain degree of emotional distance from your grandparents at this juncture. Treat them as though they were unrelated neighbors and avoid allowing their words to influence you unduly.

If possible, it would be advisable to maintain a physical distance.

Secondly, it is advisable to reduce your sensitivity to the opinions of others. In a traditional Chinese rural society, boundaries between people are often blurred. If an individual cannot meet the expectations of others, they may find themselves isolated and may experience difficulty in moving forward.

In modern society, the opinions of others have no bearing on our ability to attend school, work, or earn a living. As long as the law does not impose penalties, regardless of the negative feedback we receive from others, it will not affect our lives. If all else fails, we can also relocate to an unfamiliar place.

Third, I am unaware of the typical structure of your daily routine. However, I recommend allocating more time for activities that enhance your well-being, such as exercise, socializing with individuals who share your interests, and reading.

It is advisable to avoid individuals who exert a negative influence, whether psychological or physical. Seeking the guidance of a counselor may also be beneficial.

In the event that a medical professional diagnoses obsessive-compulsive disorder, it is standard practice to refer the patient to a mental health counselor.

I am a licensed psychological counselor with a fluctuating outlook on life, oscillating between periods of depression and optimism.