There are so many uncertainties in life, what should I do?

Hello, question asker! My name is June, and I'm trying to become a counselor.

I can relate to your feelings of confusion, anxiety, and powerlessness, as I can see that you are trying to reconcile two sides of yourself: the emotional self who wants to lie down, and the rational self who is trying hard.

The fact that you have listed so many questions shows that you have really observed yourself carefully. You have learned and applied the technique of "list problems – find solutions" and are trying to find answers for yourself. You want to become a "better version of yourself." Now let's sort out your problems together and find solutions.

It seems that your first two questions may be related to procrastination. It's possible that the root of the issue could be a lack of interest or perhaps some high expectations.

It might be helpful to consider whether you are interested in all of your subjects. If you are not interested in certain subjects, it could affect your academic performance, which might then lead to feelings of guilt towards your family and disappointment in yourself. It's understandable that you might feel this way. What can you do to address this?

In my experience, it might be helpful to consider using the "flower transference" method, which involves shifting one's goals and focusing one's attention in a new direction.

As an alternative, you might like to consider thinking about going to school to meet someone you like. It's likely that there will be someone you like at school, perhaps a classmate or teacher. You could think about what they are wearing today, whether anything interesting has happened to them in the past day or few days, and whether there has been any change in their state.

Could I perhaps help them in some way?

Perhaps, when you think about it, you might feel inclined to go to school?

It seems that many of us face the challenge of having overly high expectations, which can lead to procrastination and a tendency to act in ways that might not be the most productive. I believe this is a common issue, as we all have a desire to get things done.

While getting things done may seem like a very common standard, it is not, because what is considered "getting things done" varies from person to person. How might we solve this problem?

If I might suggest a possible approach, I would say that…

I believe the first step is to list one's own requirements for the matter, combine one's own abilities and goals, and then write down the desired results.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to list the requirements of Party A (leaders, customers, family, friends) for this matter.

Then, perhaps, you could compare the two requirements, check for omissions, see if there are any missing areas, circle the content that is beyond your ability, communicate with the other party in advance, and if you cannot lower the other party's requirements, you might try to impress the other party with a few points that you have thought of but the other party has not thought of as highlights. I believe that when you are clear about the few things you need to do, then make a plan and mark the time nodes, things will not be as difficult as you think. You might even start to look forward to completing the tasks as soon as possible and enjoying that sense of accomplishment.

Execution: When things we want to do are not completed as well as expected, and we lose track of things, it's easy to assume that we lack the necessary abilities. However, it's possible that the issue may lie in the method we're using.

It's a bit like shopping at the supermarket. If you don't know what you want before you go, you might end up wandering around aimlessly and buying a few things you didn't originally intend to. You might even find that you didn't buy the things you wanted a few days ago. As the old saying goes, "a good memory is no substitute for a good pen." My usual approach is to make notes as I go along. I write down whatever comes to mind in my phone's memo function, and then I look at the notes the next time I go shopping. I find that I buy the things I want first, and then I can browse at my leisure for the rest of the time.

I believe that the last three questions may not fully capture the essence of the key points. In my experience at school, I observed that some students invested significant time and effort into their studies, yet their test scores did not reflect this. Conversely, some students appeared to have a more relaxed approach to their studies, yet their grades were consistently high.

I don't deny that there is an innate talent, but I have come to understand that there is a method to it as well. Those students with good academic performance are very good at grasping the key points.

For instance, when they receive a textbook, they don't simply follow the teacher's guidance chapter by chapter. They often begin by reviewing the syllabus to gain an understanding of the course's overall structure, identify potential connections between chapters, and then seek out these links. When studying a chapter, they also look at the syllabus to identify the chapter's core concepts.

I believe this makes their learning particularly efficient.

I believe this approach can be applied to life as well. As the old saying goes, "A year's plan depends on springtime, and a day's plan depends on morning." If I'm not particularly good at finding the main points, I use my phone to write down a few important things to do tomorrow before going to bed every night. The next day, I start by completing these tasks first, and then I can deal with emergencies at other times.

It might be helpful to review what you have done during the day, whether there were any unexpected matters, and whether there is anything you could do differently next time.

I'm grateful to say that the above methods have helped me to navigate a life that was previously less structured and more chaotic. Gradually, they have helped me to establish a more regular and controllable routine, and I've noticed a positive shift in my sense of well-being. I hope that sharing my experience might be of benefit to others.

I hope these ideas bring you happiness!

Good day, I am Teng Ying, a psychological counselor. From your inquiry, I can discern that you possess keen observational skills.

You are able to list your own affairs in great detail. Have these matters been confusing for a long time? I sense that you are quite confused and unsure of how to proceed.

To summarize, the issue can be distilled to the following points:

To resolve these issues, I believe you have been grappling with these miscellaneous matters for an extended period. Therefore, I propose that we address these concerns by stepping back from the specifics of the events.

The issues you have identified appear to be rooted in self-limiting beliefs. I have taken the liberty of grouping them into the following categories:

1. Time management. You appear to feel that you lack planning when it comes to getting things done. You seem to lack initiative when it comes to thinking about how much time you need to spend on a task and what preparations you need to make, and you are not used to making plans in advance.

1. Time management. You appear to lack planning when it comes to getting things done. You also seem to lack initiative when it comes to thinking about how much time you need to spend on a task and what preparations you need to make, and you are not used to making plans in advance.

As a result, he feels rushed and unable to cope with many tasks.

2. Quality control: You lack a sense of control over the situation. You do not consider the big picture or the details beforehand, and you seem to be working without a clear direction, which results in a low-quality or incomplete finish.

2. Quality control: There is a lack of control over the situation. There is a failure to consider the bigger picture or the details before starting, and there is a lack of direction, which results in a low-quality or incomplete finish.

3. Interpersonal relationships. You appear to be highly attuned to the impact your actions have on others. This can result in hesitation when pursuing your own objectives, due to concerns about potential consequences on others. It seems that this is a personal challenge.

3. Interpersonal relationships: You appear to be highly concerned about the impact your actions have on others. This can result in hesitation when pursuing your own interests, due to concerns about how your decisions might affect others. It seems that this is a personal issue.

Please attempt to identify the root of your inner feelings.

From the aforementioned analysis, it appears that I have observed a child who is uncertain and overwhelmed in the face of the world. It seems that he is full of strangeness and fear of the world, unable to see the world's possibilities, and unsure of his direction.

Does this align with your actual beliefs?

You can engage in a dialogue with your inner self. For example, you can inquire from the perspective of a sense of worth: What are your thoughts about yourself?

Please describe your personal brand. Do you believe you are valuable?

Please indicate whether you feel loved and cared for.

If the aforementioned questions are too general, we can also pose a more specific inquiry. For instance, when confronted with a challenge, do you believe you can overcome it?

An even more effective approach would be to consider whether you believe you can do it exceptionally well.

It is probable that at the outset of a task, you have already defined yourself internally and feel that you are unable to complete it successfully. Consequently, when you do not complete it successfully, you may be relieved because your expectations have been confirmed, which in turn makes your concerns about failure lessened. This is a more comfortable position than worrying about failure and being rejected by others.

If you feel that some of the ideas I have mentioned above are familiar to you, it is likely that this is the reason why you have always felt that you cannot control your life. When you feel that you are just bad at everything and cannot get anything done, you will also be cautious in front of other people and always feel that you are doing everything wrong.

Naturally, all of this is merely conjecture. Should you wish to resolve these issues, it would be advisable to seek the guidance of a qualified counselor. Your ability to observe and reflect on your own behavior is commendable. With the assistance of a professional, you will likely achieve positive outcomes.

I hope this information is useful to you.

I hope this information is useful to you.