Too ugly, too embarrassed to turn on the camera during online classes, can't bear to see my natural face... What to do?

Good morning, my name is Xintan Coach Feiyun, and I would be delighted to accompany you with warmth and listen to your story with all my heart.

From our brief interaction, I can sense that you care about your appearance. I admire the fact that you take the time to get dressed and put on makeup every day. It reminds me of the saying, "There are no ugly women, only stupid women."

Your image is worth a great deal. Indeed, a person's image has a significant impact on his life, work, and even his career and family.

However, it should be noted that image is not solely determined by a person's appearance, but also encompasses their style of dress and, in particular, their manner of speech. It could be argued that the most accurate interpretation of a person's image would be to consider it as a combination of external presentation and internal character.

If I may, I would like to share a story with you called "The Value of a Stone."

One day, a student inquired of his teacher, "Teacher, if you were to advise me on the greatest value in my life, what would you say?"

The teacher asked the students to take a very ordinary stone and sell it in the market, the museum, and the antique shop, and they were given different prices.

The story offers a valuable lesson: an optimistic outlook is beneficial regardless of one's circumstances. We all share a universal experience of life's transience, yet our inner selves remain a constant.

Perhaps we could take a moment to consider what confidence is.

Self-confidence can be defined as a conviction of one's own strength, a self-affirmation, and a belief that comes from the heart.

One might suggest that self-confidence stems from one's "self-worth," which is a subjective evaluation of oneself and not necessarily influenced by the opinions of others.

I believe there are two types of confidence.

One kind of confidence is based on something you have done. This kind of confidence may not be entirely accurate, as it could be a manifestation of inferiority if you lack confidence in yourself.

It is for this reason that they will exert themselves to the utmost, basing their confidence on the success or failure of a particular undertaking, as though the value of their lives depended on external material proof. Such confidence is perhaps misguided, as it is liable to collapse in the event of the aforementioned things on which they rely disappearing.

Similarly, your confidence is shaped by how you dress and apply makeup. When you appear without makeup, you may experience a shift in your feelings, including self-doubt and even anxiety.

Another kind of confidence is in oneself. This kind of confidence does not rely on anything external as a standard, but comes from the heart, is unconditional, and is subjective. This kind of confidence could be considered a form of true confidence.

He doesn't feel the need to prove himself to others. He has confidence in himself and respects others. For example, without makeup, you are also sincere and enthusiastic; no matter how elaborate the makeup, it can't compare to the beauty of your soul.

It could be said that true self-confidence means not having to "prove yourself in everything." One comic article recommends, "Your prettiness is not as good as your liveliness." While a good-looking body is the same in a thousand ways, an interesting soul is one in a million.

It might be worth considering that paying too much attention to one's appearance could potentially lead to a kind of internal depletion. On the other hand, turning one's attention from the external to the internal, a person's appearance can be changed through reading and learning. Therefore, learning could be a good way for women to preserve their youthful appearance.

I hope these words are helpful to you. I love you, the world, and I wish you well.

If you would like to continue our dialogue, you are welcome to click on the "Find a coach" link, which you will find in the upper right corner or at the bottom of the page. I would be delighted to communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Hello, question asker! I'm Evan, and I'm here to help!

The questioner said that they cannot accept their bare face, that they feel disgusted and ugly when they look at their bare face, and that they hate their bare face. But there's so much more to them than that! Does the questioner's lack of confidence in their appearance cause inconvenience in their lives, such as low self-esteem, depression, excessive cleanliness, obsessive-compulsive disorder, social withdrawal, autism, and a dislike of taking photos?

Let's dive deep and explore if your lack of confidence in your appearance is causing you physical reactions or social anxiety.

So, when did your lack of confidence in your appearance start? Has it been there since childhood?

Or could it be that family, certain people, or certain ideas brought the questioner to this point of view? Has the questioner ever done any self-awareness?

Feeling insecure about your appearance can ruin your mood and reduce your sense of well-being. But there's no reason why you can't turn this around!

So, how do you deal with the view that you are not confident in your bare face? Here are some suggestions I would give the questioner:

It's time to find out why you're not confident!

It's time to get to the root of your insecurities and start turning things around! Record your feelings of inferiority, and when you feel insecure about your appearance, write down those feelings.

After just one or two weeks, take a look at all you've achieved! Summarize your notes and celebrate your progress.

Now, think about all those situations in which you feel absolutely amazing and confident!

Spend more time on your makeup!

And with a certain type of clothing!

In a small group of people

In the absence of certain people, you have the freedom to create your own reality!

When you don't have to face large, public situations, it's a great opportunity to show off your amazing self-confidence!

And then, you'll be amazed at what you discover! Does your low self-esteem stem from your school status or life troubles? Insecurity and low self-esteem caused by problems at school or in life are more complex than just not being confident in your appearance.

If you can't pinpoint the root of your low self-esteem by keeping a journal, don't fret! There are plenty of other ways to figure it out.

It's time to correct your perception of self-image!

How can you correct your perception of your own image? The good news is that there are some great professionals out there who can help you with this. I would highly recommend Dr. Vivian Diller, who is an absolute expert in teaching others how to perceive their appearance from the correct perspective. You should also check out the book "Face It: What Women Really Feel About Physical Appearance" (2010), which the questioner has the opportunity to read.

These professionals can help you overcome your inferiority complex, transform negative emotions into positive ones, and make you more confident in your appearance!

Now for the fun part! It's time to write down all of your amazing positive qualities.

What are you happy with about your appearance and personality? Write three things each!

Now for the fun part! Rank the six attributes in order of importance, and write a sentence for each. For example: "I'm helpful."

I absolutely love volunteering with my school every week! And I always call my friends if they need someone to talk to.

Think about it: which is more important, physical appearance or personality? Most people would say personality! And it's so true! Our personality affects our self-confidence, and it also affects how others perceive us.

Appearance often gets you acquainted with someone, but it is a person's character that determines whether you can get along with them in the long term—and that's what makes it all so exciting!

Now for the fun part! Write down what you like about your appearance.

Each appearance has its own characteristics, and it is impossible for it to be completely worthless. The question asks you to write down your three most satisfactory physical appearance traits, and to describe each one in a sentence. For example: "My long curly hair, especially when it has just been blown out at the hairdresser's, looks very voluminous," or "My prominent collarbone, especially when wearing a strapless dress, attracts the attention of the opposite sex."

This shows that everyone has physical features that they are proud of, and that these features can be enhanced through clothing. The questioner is confident in all aspects except for their appearance without makeup, so they can reduce their inferiority complex about their appearance through other aspects. This is a great opportunity to focus on the other amazing things about themselves!

Question those negative thoughts!

What do you think when you look at yourself in the mirror? Is it your own thoughts or what someone else has said to you?

If someone else said it, who was that person? Someone who despises you, your parents, or a friend?

Ask yourself some great questions! Like, are your facial features poorly formed? Or are your body proportions uncoordinated?

Do you really think you're much shorter than other people? Of course not! These things don't matter at all.

If you talk to a friend, how is that different from talking to yourself? It's a great way to introduce yourself to positive thinking and avoid negative emotions like doubt!

Look at yourself in the mirror and find the subject's own strengths! From now on, whenever you look in the mirror, think of your strengths, not your weaknesses!

Keep those positive thoughts and emotions flowing!

When you feel those feelings of inferiority, stop, take a deep breath, and transform those negative emotions into positive ones! For example, when you feel that your nose is too big, think: "This is a feature that distinguishes me from others."

If you feel that your face is too big, think: I have a great figure, and I can change my face shape through training!

Do you want to feel more confident? Of course you do! Then try this simple, yet powerful technique. Before going to bed every night, write down three positive things about yourself. Read them again when you wake up in the morning and add two more.

The great news is that you don't need to write differently every time! The more positive the attitude of the questioner, the more confident you will become.

Seek help from a psychologist—it'll be the best decision you ever make!

If you feel like you can't get out of your inferiority complex on your own, don't worry! You can always seek help from a psychologist or counselor. And if you're struggling to get rid of your negative emotions, you can consult with a relevant psychological professional.

Your inferiority complex may stem from deeper causes that you are not fully aware of. But don't worry! Consulting a doctor or counselor can help you become healthier and more confident.

There are so many ways to enhance your appearance! Different hairstyles go with different face shapes, different facial features can be matched with different makeup, and different skin tones can be matched with different colored clothes. Understanding your appearance is the first step. Then, as long as you match it with different makeup, you'll be ready to give people a refreshing feeling even with no makeup!

I'm not a professional makeup designer, but I'm excited to help you find the perfect professional to bring your vision to life!

I really hope my answer helps the questioner!

Once you're used to looking at yourself with makeup, you'll feel strange looking at your bare face. Makeup is used to cover or change flaws to create a more refined look. When you're used to looking at yourself with makeup, it's easy to feel disgusted with your original appearance, regardless of whether you think you're beautiful or ugly.

I am confident that the following information will help alleviate your concerns.

1. Know that staring at a single image for too long will distort your vision.

You're used to wearing makeup at school, but you can't wear it during online classes. The camera effect makes us feel visual fatigue after staring at one screen for a long time, which leads to alienation.

This is similar to the effect of staring at a familiar word for a long time. You will then feel, "Huh, I don't seem to recognize this word anymore. Why does this word look so strange?"

When taking online classes, move your eyes in multiple directions. Focus on yourself, then the teacher, then the content, and finally your classmates online. This will reduce the discomfort caused by staring at yourself for a long time.

2. In daily life, expose yourself gradually to increase familiarity with your true appearance.

2. In daily life, expose yourself gradually to increase your familiarity with your true appearance.

If you find it hard to accept yourself without makeup, wear a mask or something similar to partially cover up your face. This will help you become familiar with your true self.

As previously stated, it is not the beauty or ugliness of one's appearance that causes resistance. Rather, it is the sense of strangeness that arises from seeing oneself with exquisite makeup and then seeing one's true self again. This can hinder self-acceptance of one's true appearance to some extent.

Start by gradually familiarizing yourself with your true self, starting with your forehead, eyebrows, and eyes. When you are not intensively exposed at the same time, but can also see partial bare faces scattered in your daily life, this sense of familiarity will reduce the aversion to your appearance.

3. You need to trace the origin and understand the starting point of your appearance anxiety. You also need to identify what kind of voices are influencing you.

From the comments, it is clear that the questioner has been rejecting his appearance for a long time. Online classes have only made this conflict worse.

Society and culture unquestionably divide and segregate beauty and ugliness. The aesthetic interests of each era are unequivocally different, which also causes people in the era to be easily swept away by rhetoric and so-called aesthetic standards.

Individuals often unconsciously agree with and follow this part of the absorption.

Think about the remarks you heard and the media propaganda you saw before you started wearing makeup. Think about the unfair treatment you received because of your appearance.

Such memories will help the questioner understand that their current anxiety or disgust about appearance is, in a deeper sense, the result of sociocultural roots.

Awareness of the erosion of so-called cultural norms helps us avoid getting lost in the cultural trends promoted by the media.

Monocultural advocacy leads to destruction. Multicultural initiatives embrace the idea that "each is beautiful in its own way, and together they are even more beautiful." If you're struggling to trace or explore this, I strongly recommend you seek the support of a professional psychologist.

I am a psychologist who cares about the heart, not about exploring human nature. You will be fine.

Good morning,

I empathize with the host's concerns about her appearance, and I offer a gesture of comfort to ease her discomfort.

It is important to note that appearance anxiety is a common phenomenon, affecting both men and women. In particular, women often experience heightened levels of anxiety related to their appearance and the aging process.

How should women approach these natural processes without feeling anxious?

First, analyze the reasons for appearance anxiety.

The primary cause of low self-esteem and lack of confidence

The most significant factor is low self-esteem and a lack of confidence in one's abilities.

Low self-esteem manifests as excessive self-criticism, lack of self-objectivity, and a tendency to evaluate oneself as inadequate in the presence of a superior.

It is important to note that one's self-perception is not necessarily aligned with external validation.

Confidence does not equate to arrogance. Rather, it is the ability to recognize one's own shortcomings, confront one's own inadequacies, and maintain composure in the face of these challenges.

It is not only outstanding individuals who exude confidence. Many successful people are aware of their shortcomings but are able to maintain their authenticity and project their unique attributes.

Furthermore, it is important to remember that the opinions of others should not be a significant concern.

If you lack the time to apply makeup, you may opt for a natural look.

It may be challenging, but it is possible to alter your mindset.

Gradually become accustomed to this new routine. Begin by practicing in front of your family, then gradually extend to friends and relatives.

Until they can face more people and overcome their fears, the best course of action is to confront them directly, rather than avoiding them.

The following are recommended methods for improvement:

Identify your strengths and use them to offset your weaknesses.

It is important to recognize that no individual is perfect, and even highly successful people have areas for improvement. However, they tend to focus on their strengths rather than dwelling on their weaknesses.

Rather than focusing on their weaknesses, they leverage their strengths to their advantage.

The host stated that she is naturally attractive without the use of makeup. Therefore, it is important to identify other qualities that contribute to your confidence and leverage them to your advantage.

In conclusion, I wish you a happy and prosperous life.

I am writing to express my warm regards to you, the reader, and to extend my best wishes for a happy life.

Hello! I'm sending you a hug.

You feel you can't face your bare face. This affects your studies and life. It makes you feel inferior and anxious. It stops you focusing on your studies and life.

Your lack of confidence and anxiety may be caused by a lack of acceptance of your inner self. This may be due to how you were raised. How a person is treated affects how they treat themselves.

If your parents were strict and neglectful, you may have learned to doubt yourself. You may have learned that you need to be good to get love. This can make you feel inferior, unconfident, and self-rejecting. But getting your parents' love is important for a child's confidence, sense of worth, and sense of security. If you don't get enough love from your parents, you may try to get love from them even if you have the ability and resources to get love from other sources.

Parents treat their children this way because they were unloved children too. They copy their parents' ways of treating them.

Your parents' neglect, rejection, dislike, harsh criticism, and blows are not because you are not good enough. They cannot give you these things because they do not have them within themselves.

Right?

So, accept yourself as you are. For example, you could ask if makeup can change your skin tone, the size of your eyes, or the shape of your face.

Makeup can only have a limited effect. The effect after makeup is based on the fact that you already have attractive features and a well-maintained skin base.

Also, no one will pay special attention to you because everyone has their own things to do. Your appearance anxiety is caused by your inner inability to accept your true self due to excessive pursuit of perfection. When you are not well aware of this, you think that others will not accept your imperfect self either.

Once you understand why you feel this way, you can try to fix things by yourself.

For example, accept yourself better by making a list of your strengths.

You can see your strengths and weaknesses. You can also try the mirror exercise, where you write down parts of your body you like.

Keep a gratitude journal to build self-confidence.

I hope this helps.

Hello! I totally get it—appearance anxiety is a real thing!

I've got an exciting experiment for you! Grab a piece of paper and write down the name of the first person of the same gender and age group that comes to mind.

Now for the fun part! Give her a score out of 100 that you think is appropriate. The most beautiful person gets 100 points!

Now for the fun part! Write your name and give yourself the same score, and write it next to your name. Then list all the factors you think are related to appearance and write them in a sequence, such as height, clothing, makeup, hair color, eye size, etc. Give each item a score you think is appropriate.

Now for the fun part! For each item, you can set the default score as 10 out of 10, and then add up all the scores. Assuming you have listed 10 items, then the final score is this number. If you have listed 8 items, convert it to a percentage system, that is, add up the scores for each item and divide by the sum of the full marks for each item.

You'll be amazed at how inaccurate your own assessment of yourself really is!

Second, behind the elaborate dressing up that is customary in school is the obvious hope of leaving a perfect impression on others. But here's the exciting part: do you think people really care about your perfection?

Let's do a little experiment! Please find a group photo of your class and tell me who you look for first after you get it. Is it the prettiest one in your mind?

I'm afraid not. In the experiments I've done, it's been so interesting to see that the vast majority of people look for themselves first, and a very few look for the people they care about most. It's so fascinating to see that almost no one pays attention to who is the prettiest! This is the reality, and even celebrities, except for their fans, no one wants to pay attention to them at any time.

Now, let's dive into the fascinating topic of your inferiority complex. This complex typically emerges from authoritative comments you received when you were young, such as from your parents or teachers.

If an authority says that you are not good at something, the child will believe it and think that they are really that bad. But do you understand now? Absolutely!

Low self-esteem is a kind of self-awareness, and awareness can be reconstructed! There are too many unattractive people who, because of their self-confidence, you will find particularly attractive.

On the contrary, if someone who is beautiful doesn't have substance to back it up, they will easily fade into the crowd. As you said, apart from your natural beauty, you are very good at other things. And that's a wonderful thing!

Do you know how enviable this situation is? You have so many good qualities! It's just that you're not fully aware of them.

I'm so excited to see that through the first experiment, you've already found the misunderstanding in your own understanding!

We are all the same! The vast majority of people are ordinary people. But that's a good thing! If we accept our true selves, we can live our own happy lives. And even if we are rich in resources, we can still lead a stifling life!

I really hope this helps! Keep up the amazing work!

Hello, dear.

If I told you that appearance anxiety is no big deal and that it is what it is, would you be angry, feeling that I don't understand your pain, or would you feel relieved, feeling that it's not a big deal after all? I don't know which feeling you have, but I know what I think.

I'm not saying you should deny your suffering. I'm saying we can look at it from a different perspective. This will help us understand ourselves better and come out of this period of suffering and confusion more easily.

I think it's safe to say that we're living in an age of anxiety. It's clear that a range of anxieties have swept over everyone.

There are countless other anxieties in our society, in addition to appearance anxiety. These include money anxiety, body anxiety, all kinds of parenting anxiety, talent anxiety, work anxiety, marrying someone anxiety, and being married to someone anxiety.

I believe these anxieties all have similar thought patterns. Our minds firmly believe in a set of values and then push us into this set of values. If there is even the slightest discrepancy, we severely beat ourselves up, thinking that we are worthless and have no value.

We are the ones who firmly grasp a set of standards to whip and control ourselves. It is our own deep fear and identification with these standards that entraps us.

If someone tells you, "I'm anxious, my child can never get a perfect score, and I can't sit still as long as he doesn't get a perfect score," you know what they mean. They feel sick and hate seeing children who don't get perfect scores.

I simply cannot accept a son who doesn't get 100%. He's just not good enough.

I'm sure you have an opinion on this.

Replace the score of 100 with 60. Does the mother's anxiety then become more reasonable?

But the fact is, whether it's a score of 100 or 60, what trapped this mother was basically the same. It was a standard that prevented her from seeing her child for who they really are and from truly connecting with them in a loving way.

It doesn't matter if your grades are high or low. What matters is that you meet a certain standard. If you don't, you are detestable and worthless.

It's time to face the truth. The love and acceptance in our hearts are bound up in marks. They disappear and cannot come out. This is sad. Each of us has been brought up under such standards. We can only be loved if we meet certain standards.

But the truth is, what we all really want is to be loved unconditionally and to be seen and accepted. It doesn't matter what we look like, we can be accepted and loved just as we are. When we feel this way, our hearts are full of love and acceptance for ourselves.

Even if we got a 60, we would be treated with respect and understanding. We would be helped to face the problem. Growing up like this, we would not have score anxiety or an inferiority complex about our grades.

That's off-topic, but I want to say that your appearance anxiety may also have been formed through a similar process.

You have likely linked the appearance standard closely with your self-worth, which makes you feel repulsive and unacceptable if you do not meet a certain standard.

You have internalized and identified with this set of standards and use it to demand the same of yourself. The source of this set of standards is undoubtedly linked to your upbringing.

You were probably rejected for your appearance in childhood. It was likely your upbringing and the people around you who gave you this feeling that people with an unattractive appearance should be abandoned.

You have developed a deep fear of not being good-looking, but you are not afraid of that. What you are afraid of is being rejected, despised, and disliked.

You are the only person who can reveal how the story unfolds and takes shape in your mind.

I'll give you two steps to follow. First, identify which standards you've accepted that link appearance to self-worth.

You need to realize for yourself that this connection is unnecessary, wrong, and untenable. You are who you are, and you don't need any standards to define yourself. You are free to create the value that you truly identify with inside.

The second step is to let go of your appearance standards. You will experience fear and unease, but you can handle it. Your vulnerable, uneasy, fearful self needs to be seen, understood, and embraced.

This process may be difficult, but you can do it. It can be done slowly, bit by bit. Only you can do it because you know what you need to do. You are the only one who can see and directly feel what's inside you.

You are the only person who can give yourself strength.

Another way to do this is to make a show of your appearance anxiety and take pride in being the most demanding person in the world when it comes to your appearance. You're in charge.

I am an uncrowned king.

This will help you relax and face the torment you're feeling.

I am confident that this will be of assistance. Best regards.

Anxiety about appearance has always been a driving force for people to constantly improve and enhance their appearance. Either improve their psychological resilience so that they don't judge themselves as too ugly and don't care so much about what other people think.

Right now, you're avoiding turning on the webcam during online classes probably because you don't think your appearance is good-looking. You're also unable to accept this situation, and your solutions are to wear makeup, wear a mask, or feel disgusted and restless. These solutions may still be superficial.

Makeup artists can make some adjustments to enhance the appearance of their faces, and wearing a mask can also make a face look acceptable to a large extent. You can see your current situation. You actually wear makeup every day at school, which also takes up some of your time.

If you like wearing makeup, there's nothing wrong with that. Some people even choose to learn more advanced makeup techniques so they can look better and boost their self-confidence without having to undergo micro-plastic surgery. However, you feel disgusted and ugly.

These thoughts and feelings might already be causing you a lot of pain. Maybe we don't need to evaluate ourselves so much. You can still do the things you want to accomplish, and you still have your own uniqueness to show in your appearance. This is something to think about.

If you don't have plastic surgery, don't wear makeup, and don't retouch photos, then your appearance is your appearance. It will change a bit with age, but the basic contours and details will stay the same. You just can't accept your appearance, but we have to accept that your appearance is something you've had since birth.

This is just part of you. If you really can't accept it, you can talk it over with your family to see if there are any better makeup and beauty techniques you can learn to effectively improve your appearance. Micro-plastic surgery is not recommended because changes can also be addictive. Some medical beauty institutions are not necessarily regular, and you need to be careful and think things through. You also need to seek psychological counseling for your inferiority complex and self-loathing. Good luck.

What do you think about ZQ?

Good morning,

Please note that I am referring to the ability to see words as if they were faces. It is a well-known fact that everyone loves beauty.

Take a moment to appreciate the positive feelings you typically experience when you dress nicely.

You have indicated that you are unable to accept your natural appearance. When did this issue first arise, or has it been a long-standing concern? It would be beneficial to identify the root cause of this problem. What events have led to your significant investment in your appearance?

"All things considered, you are not ugly after all." This could be interpreted as an indication of confidence in the individual's own appearance, suggesting that their perception may be biased and that they are potentially limiting their own self-perception through this lens.

A person's cognitive patterns are influenced by their experiences and interactions with significant others during their upbringing. Who provided you with feedback on your appearance during your childhood? What was the context of that feedback?

Please be aware of your bodily sensations.

We advise you to become aware of the sensations in your body when you experience an inner voice telling you that you are ugly. What thoughts arise in this context?

Please clarify your automatic thoughts.

We recommend the following course of action:

1. Accept that your appearance is part of your body and that you received your body from your parents.

2. Desensitization Therapy: Utilize a ruler to externalize feelings in a gradual manner, while reinforcing positive experiences.

3. It is recommended that you expand your resource channels and affirm and appreciate your self-practice.

I am a person in the rain, and I hope that my sharing will be of some help to you.

Good morning, host. I'm K., the little whale.

Please accept this gesture of support and encouragement.

I can see that you are troubled and that you feel your natural appearance is unacceptable.

Firstly, it is important to note that one's appearance is innate and cannot be changed. Beauty and ugliness are external evaluation standards, or the external image of oneself as perceived by others. It is essential to recognise that each individual has their own standards for external beauty. If there is a discrepancy between one's internal standards and their external appearance, it can lead to feelings of self-disparagement and an internalisation of negative perceptions.

This is, in fact, a form of self-denial. What is required is a recognition of your own inner self.

I am a woman who has consistently been praised for her physical appearance since childhood. During my formative years, I developed an internal perception of myself as lacking in physical beauty, which led to feelings of inferiority. My mother often emphasized the futility of physical attractiveness and the necessity of academic excellence for success. In an effort to gain her approval, I excelled in my studies from an early age.

Ultimately, I came to understand that self-acceptance and confidence are more important than external beauty. I am beautiful both inside and out, and I recognize this about myself. I am confident in my abilities and do not let external standards of beauty or ugliness affect my value.

Secondly, one's appearance is only one aspect of their identity, with the inner self being of equal importance. External beauty can be enhanced through various means, and it is possible to become highly attractive.

However, the inner heart can also be a source of beauty. Your every move and gaze can have a positive impact on those around you.

The inner beauty of truth, goodness, and beauty can be expressed through one's temperament. Even without makeup, one's generosity, composure, and kindness can still make a positive impression. I hope you can gain a deeper understanding of yourself, focus on your inner self, and become the confident, beautiful individual you aspire to be.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all the best in accepting and recognizing your true self, and in becoming confident in your abilities. I encourage you to cultivate your confidence and beauty.

Hello, dear child!

When we were students, I don't think there was anyone who didn't care about their appearance.

It really depends on the person.

I'd love to chat with you and I hope I can offer some comfort and inspiration.

1. Appearance anxiety.

Some people say that the current social environment is the era of appearance, which affects young people.

In particular, girls are more likely to experience appearance anxiety, with surveys showing that over half of them have varying degrees of this issue.

Simply put, it's a lack of confidence in one's appearance, anxiety, and low self-esteem caused by the feeling that one is not good-looking.

I'd like to share with you that everyone has different ideas about what beauty means to them.

Of course, there will always be a standard of beauty that is more commonly accepted in any given environment.

Do you still feel okay with yourself after putting on makeup, just as you do every day at school when you dress up and put on makeup?

So, you might just need a quick fix.

Is it the teacher's preference that students don't wear makeup or use beauty apps in online classes?

When we're used to looking good with makeup, we don't want to see our natural faces.

We don't want our teachers or classmates to see us without makeup.

This is totally normal.

We can take a look at this question and figure out what's really going on.

Are you worried that people won't like you?

Do you genuinely like yourself?

2. Learn to accept yourself.

We're born with our looks.

It's just a matter of perspective.

It's not the thing itself that makes us feel a certain way, but our thoughts.

It's not that appearance is the root cause.

From what I've seen, a lot of girls who are considered attractive by others are also unhappy with their appearance and even want to keep getting plastic surgery.

This just goes to show that it's our psychological effects that make us think this way.

For instance, you might have trouble accepting your own bare face.

Or we're not ready to face the real us.

Not being comfortable with who we are.

Sometimes we end up pushing ourselves to meet the standards others have set for us.

Sometimes, we want to live our lives wearing a social mask, like wearing a lot of makeup.

I think it's important to say that this is also a normal psychological state.

We want to be beautiful in every way.

At the same time, we have to accept that there are often differences between what we want and what we have.

It can take a while to get used to how you look.

3. Take a moment to appreciate beauty and recognize appearances.

In today's world, appearance plays a big role, and it can cause anxiety about how we look.

For instance, people who are attractive may have more opportunities.

People tend to gravitate towards beautiful people.

But when we look at these things, how we feel about our own appearance is probably more important.

First of all, there is no one standard of beauty.

As we all know, standards of beauty differ from era to era and from country to country.

Some people think fat is beautiful, some think dark skin is beautiful, some think it's healthy, and so on.

How do we see a person's face in a photograph?

Is what we see in the camera lens also not necessarily the real self, and is there some kind of exaggeration or magnification?

How do you perceive beauty?

What are your thoughts on different standards of beauty?

For instance, as a close colleague, would you rather see her with her makeup on or her natural look?

It's good to consider things from different points of view.

Apart from ourselves, probably no one else pays as much attention to our appearance as we do.

We can't please everyone.

Take a moment to look at yourself in the mirror.

Take a look and see if there's anything about the way we think we look that we like a little.

It's the same with eyes, lips, and face shape. Choose a feature you like and ignore the rest. That way, you'll be able to accept yourself for who you really are.

I'd like to share a little story with you.

There was a little girl called Jenny who always felt that she wasn't pretty enough and kept her head down.

One day, she went to the jewelry store and bought a green bow. The shopkeeper kept complimenting her on how pretty she looked in it.

She was so happy that she couldn't help but hold her head up high, eager for everyone to see, and she didn't even care when she bumped into someone on her way out.

She walked into the classroom and bumped into her teacher. "Jenny, you look so pretty with your head held high!"

That day, she got lots of compliments.

She figured it must be the bow's doing, but when she looked in the mirror, there was no bow on her head at all. She must have lost it when she bumped into someone on the way out of the accessory store.

Try to see the beauty in things again.

Just share these as is.

Wishing you the best!

Dear questioner, I just wanted to give you a big hug!

I'm so happy to have met you on Yixinli! ??

I'm so grateful to the questioner for being so open and honest about their self-awareness. It's so brave to bring up the topic of feeling ugly and not being able to turn on the webcam during online classes. It's totally normal to feel this way, and it's okay to not be able to accept your bare face.

After reading the title, I was really intrigued, so I took a closer look at the question the original poster was asking. I've also given this topic some thought, and I'd love to share my reflections and thoughts here for the original poster's reference.

I'm here to help!

Let's take a moment to sort out the specific situation described by the questioner and try to interpret and analyze it together.

At school, she takes great care to dress up and put on makeup every day. But if she forgets to do so for even one day, she will be fidgety the whole day, and she even hopes to cover her entire face with a mask. During online classes, she can only face the camera with her bare face every day, and when she sees herself on the screen, she feels disgusted and ugly. She simply cannot accept her appearance without makeup. She is good at everything else, but this one thing has plunged her into endless self-loathing. She hates her appearance to the extreme.

[1] At school, the questioner said that she carefully dresses up and puts on makeup every day. It's only natural to love beauty! There's nothing wrong with that. But if it goes too far, it can backfire. The questioner described it as "too ugly without makeup." Does she think so herself?

Or could it be that beauty is defined by others? I think it's probably a bit of both.

[2] Maybe it's a way of seeing yourself that you've gotten used to and are comfortable with. It's like you've come to accept and embrace your appearance, and it's become a part of who you are. It's like you've made your appearance image a solid part of you. So, you can't imagine seeing yourself any other way?

[3] And another thing. Before the questioner learned how to apply makeup, did similar situations and feelings arise? Or, with the changes in the general environment, people's aesthetics have changed, and they have gradually become familiar with and like their dressed-up selves?

So, we start to reject our "natural" self?

[4] The questioner also said that they are good in every way, except that they cannot accept their "natural appearance" and have come to the point of "hating" themselves. It's so sad! They even feel restless when they "appear in public without makeup" and even want to "cover up with a mask." It can be seen that the questioner's resistance to and denial of their "natural appearance" has triggered some physical and psychological reactions.

It's totally normal to feel anxious about your appearance from time to time. But if you've been feeling this way for a while, it might be worth exploring why. It's possible that this anxiety could lead to more self-negation and self-rejection over time.

I can see that you're going through a tough time right now. I just wanted to say that I'm here for you and that I think you can get through this. I know it's tough, but you can do it! In view of the actual situation described by the questioner and in light of the actual situation, perhaps you can try to deal with it in this way:

[1] It's so important to accept your current self-awareness, even if you think you're too ugly without makeup. It shows that you have a different awareness of the changes in your appearance and understand the ins and outs of it. What's behind the desire to "dress up and put on makeup"? Is it to gain the praise of others?

Or could it be that this makes us start to doubt ourselves and become less confident?

[2] We all have an ideal self in our hearts. What does this ideal self look like? What is their background? What school did they go to? How did they study? What kind of work do they do? There are different expectations and desires, but they are our expectations in our ideal. However, reality is often different from our ideals.

So, why do we feel inferior or unconfident now? Is it because we're not ready to accept the "self that doesn't match our imagination," or because we've started to care about how others perceive us?

[3] Do you remember Winnicott? He was a representative of the psychoanalytic school who proposed the concepts of "true self" and "false self" in the mid to late 1940s. The "true self" is able to express and present its true state "spontaneously" and maintain internal and external consistency. The "false self," on the other hand, conceals the truest self and is more like wearing a personality mask.

Take me for example. I'm sure you feel the same way. We all long for an "ideal self." This fantasy of a life creates a blueprint for the future and becomes the driving force behind our constant efforts to become better. However, this fantasy inevitably causes a certain degree of "self-loathing" towards the "present self."

[4] Or could it be that we haven't yet developed our own unique style, and all our preferences are based on what others think? I remember that Coco Chanel, the founder of Chanel, once defined elegance as a person's natural ease of movement. This ease has nothing to do with a person's appearance or clothing. A person can feel very self-conscious carrying an Hermès bag, just as they can feel very comfortable wearing a cold-weather outfit and a vegetarian diet.

If we're not feeling totally comfortable in our own skin, it can be really tough to stick to our own preferences. We might find ourselves being swayed by external influences.

[5] Let's be honest, we all have insecurities about our appearance. You might think your teeth aren't straight enough, you'd look better if you lost a few pounds, you should exercise more to look more upright, or that cutting out sugar and staying up late would make your skin healthier. But these things are painful – exercising is painful, giving up sugar is painful, and not staying up late is painful.

So, it's possible that self-avoidance and a strong inertia to change can also lead to a reluctance to change?

[6] So, how should we accept ourselves? Well, we could start by going from "no makeup to full makeup" and no longer being anxious about "appearance." And we could follow our hearts!

It's so important to understand yourself. Once you know who you are, you can accept yourself.

The self is all about how you see yourself. It's your feelings, attitudes, and thoughts about your abilities and values. Once you understand this, you can start to think about self-acceptance.

Let's dive a little deeper into Maslow's interpretation of self-acceptance. He believes that when we can accept ourselves, we can also accept others. It's not about being perfect, but about embracing our own flaws and those of others. When we can do that, we can live a peaceful life, express ourselves honestly and frankly, and treat others with kindness and understanding.

Overall, self-acceptance is all about having a calm and accepting attitude towards everything you know about yourself. And the first step to self-acceptance is to take a good, honest look at your flaws and see them for what they are.

It's so important to understand yourself, to know your strengths and weaknesses, and to be kind to yourself along the way.

It's totally normal to have low self-esteem sometimes. It's okay to feel this way! You can start by taking control of the little things you can do yourself, that is, the things you can control and achieve. This will help you regain your self-confidence. Use your own favorable resources! For example, the questioner also realizes that they are good in all aspects, but in reality, there is no such thing as a perfect person. This is something we can all relate to! By integrating your self-assessment and allowing yourself to have some "small flaws," you can start to feel better about yourself.

And don't forget to keep the "ideal me" and the "present me" together!

It's so important to find a unique interpretation that suits you. This can really help to build up your confidence in your "natural appearance." For example, you can gradually learn self-suggestion. Start by accepting yourself when you are in your natural appearance. This is a great way to "accept yourself." It's so good that the questioner has not yet reached the point of "hating" themselves to the extent that they cannot tolerate themselves. Accepting yourself is the first step to change. What kind of "makeup" for what occasion will I start changing from now on? My goal is to be an 80-point version of myself. I'm so excited to see my confidence come back little by little!

When you start to like yourself, the whole world will come to love you!

The above is my response to the questioner, and it's my personal opinion. I hope it will get you thinking and lead to some great discussions! I also hope it will inspire and help you. I'd love to hear more from you! I pray that you will soon live out your true self and enjoy your study life with ease and happiness!

???

I am sunshine, the world, and I love you! ??

I think the host might have a slight misunderstanding of herself.

At least, in the situation you described, you can tell.

I think that dressing up and putting on makeup generally involves the eyes, face, lips, etc. In a nutshell, sun protection and makeup are basically the same thing.

And then there are the more complex ones, like eyeliner, highlighter, eyeshadow, and concealer.

From my experience, there's nothing wrong with putting on a little makeup before going out, especially if you take good care to protect yourself from the sun.

Even when you're going out, make sure your hair is combed, you're dressed neatly, and if you need to, add a bit of lip gloss to look more energetic.

I'm not sure how thorough you are in your efforts.

But, in fact, great makeup techniques, combined with makeup and clothing, can sometimes make you feel like a different person without you even trying.

The first layer is

The second layer is vitality.

The third level is exquisite beauty.

The fourth level is "one look, one feeling." The higher levels are that at a glance, even your close friends and acquaintances can't always recognize you.

I don't want to discourage you, but I suspect you haven't reached the most advanced level. Otherwise, you probably don't need to. This skill alone is enough.

It's likely to be a very popular and profitable skill.

If you really want to look good and put on an elaborate makeup, to be honest,

Don't forget!

And it should become a habit.

When it comes to makeup, the simple things can be done more quickly, while the more complicated ones take time and effort and are, to a certain extent, very tiring.

And don't forget that at the end of the day, you have to remove your makeup, moisturize your skin, etc., to maintain your skin's appearance.

When you forget, it's like you don't really want to do it or like doing it.

In particular, all kinds of cosmetics, especially the higher-end ones, tend to be on the pricey side.

Are you fidgeting because you forgot, or because you don't really want to do it, but you feel like you have to?

Given the current situation and the importance of staying healthy, if you're going out, it's a good idea to wear a mask.

It doesn't matter if you wear makeup or not.

So, if you have to wear a mask, do you still need to wear makeup?

If you usually wear makeup, are you happy with how you look when you cover your face with a mask?

Or are you still not satisfied?

And, while it's encouraged to maintain your appearance when you're out and about, there's no rule saying you can't wear makeup at home.

If you don't mind the cost and hassle of removing your makeup, you can still wear sunscreen to block the blue light radiation from your computer screen, etc.

It's not like anyone's saying you have to look pretty for the camera.

Isn't this your own decision? Then you question yourself?

On the one hand, you feel pretty good about yourself, so shouldn't that include, regardless of beauty or ugliness, a good attitude of being comfortable and being good?

And, in practice, the screens on today's phones are a little too high-definition.

If you see pores, acne, and various blemishes up close on the screen, you might be more likely to find someone's bare face unattractive.

But, if we're being objective,

At the end of the day, everyone is the same.

Not many celebrities show up at major events without makeup. They can look naturally beautiful even without makeup, but there's no one who's completely flawless, with fine pores and smooth skin. Especially when you observe them from the distance you're looking at the screen, they all look good.

You can always find your loved ones and friends to take a closer look, even if they're not celebrities.

Even if someone you like has a certain vibe about them, if you get the chance to meet them face-to-face, you might find they're not as impressive as you thought.

It's also possible that it looks a bit ugly from an aesthetic point of view.

Sometimes, beauty and ugliness need to be viewed from a distance, or even from a different angle. If your financial situation allows,

If you switch out your camera for one that can automatically enhance your face,

The issue of not looking good enough on the screen is not just about your visual display effect. It's something technology can handle. You can solve it by spending a little time, effort, and even money on improving it.

So, do you really hate the way you look?

Or is it just that you haven't been able to gain something through your appearance, such as love, admiration, or envy from others?

Because of some negative experiences, do you blame your appearance for not being good enough, especially your plain face?

To be frank, a person's appearance can grab the attention of others right away.

In today's world, though, a lot of people look at more than just your face. They also consider your figure, temperament, and even your style of work, conversation, and so on.

And your kindness, too.

It's not just about looks. There are many factors that determine whether someone can be liked and respected.

It's true that not many people pay much attention to the bare face, even if it's just about appearance and specifically the face.

We don't usually see people without make-up from an intimate angle, like at home.

It has to be someone you're close to.

So, compared to appearance, the bare face is pretty unimportant.

If someone can see your bare face with you in an intimate setting, are you sure that's the only thing they'll notice?

If the average person can't see your bare face and won't be spending time with you in such an intimate setting, then what does it matter if you're ugly or beautiful?

As long as you're happy and comfortable with it, even if you can't accept it, there don't seem to be any negative consequences.

Sometimes, it doesn't seem to matter whether you do something or not. Even in extreme situations, as long as you're happy, it's fine.

But

If you want to do something and you do it, but you're still torn between right and wrong and you feel like you shouldn't, that's when you feel tired.

Just a heads-up: This is for reference only. Hope it's helpful!